Juggling Eric

Poop Quiz.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Mon, 21 May 2012 21:00:00 +0000

Pop Quiz Hot Shot! You have a new born baby, babies like to poop. Their legs are so stinkin' strong, it's like they were training to be technical wrestlers in the womb. They're squirming and moving and the crap generic store brand diapers your "friend" at work gave you just can't keep everything in. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!

The answer is not to shoot the hostage.

The answer is to use Huggies Snug & Dry Diapers. Huggies [ Facebook / Twitter ] has made improvements to their Snug & Dry Diapers (because you can never be to snug and / or dry). Poop and pee stay in a lot better than before (while I didn't have that much of a problem before, because I would change their diapers). But it does come in handy when Grandpa Dan is watching the kids and he doesn't "get around" to changing their diapers before we get home, because they're on his bed watching Netflix, eating cotton candy, and drinking soda.

Another Pop Quiz Hot Shot! Grandpa Dan has just given your newborn baby cotton candy and soda. They're pooping like the Jericho Missle System presentation in Iron Man (it's gross because it's true). Poop is everywhere. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!

The answer is not to shoot Grandpa Dan.

The answer is to use Huggies Wipes to clean all that baby poop up. While I've noticed nothing different in the wipes given to me as a sample, I've always enjoyed Huggies Wipes better than others, mainly because the wipes are folded in a way the next one pops up when you pull the top one through the wipes box hole. Not like those generic store bought ones your "friend" at work bought with their stupid diapers. Those wipes are just laid on top of one another and they don't pop up when you get the top one thru. So you have to reach in the box for another, but you have to hurry because the Jericho Missle System from Iron Man is about to reload.

Yet Another Pop Quiz Hot Shot! Do you pronouce it "wipes" or "wipe-eese"?

If you said "wipes", you're wrong!!!! It's "wipe-eese".

Last Pop Quiz Hot Shot! You've got your newborn and you're hanging out with your friend from work and he's attacked by a zombie and bitten. The zombie won't let him go. You have your gun ready to go. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!

The answer is to shoot the hostage. One because he's already been infected and he's as good as dead anyways. And two because he bought you those crap generic store bought diapers and wipe-eese and not only is there a zombie attacking, you're now covered in newborn poop.

I participated in a campaign on behalf of MomCentral for Huggies. I received product samples to facilitate my review and a promotional item to thank me for participating

Home.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000

When we're in the Dragon Wagon, my kids have a few songs they request to hear. The below video contains one of those songs. Building 429's, Where I Belong.

With the sudden passing of our church's pastor Dave Bell, shock is still set in. On Facebook, friends are changing their profile picture to worship album covers he was a part of and leaving heart broken and encouraging posts about their pastor, spiritual father, and friend.

While his congregation mourns their loss, it is not uncommon for people to ask "How could God let this happen?" or "Why did God allow this? Pastor Bell was only 57." The simple blanket answer that people are using for encouragement is, "It was just his time."

Then you have the questions coming from his wife, sons and family. I'm sure they're asking God how He could take away the foundation of their family. A fifteen year old boy has every right to question God about taking his father away from him. My simple answer to them would be, "I don't know."

There is nothing wrong with questioning God about His actions. Before his capture and death, Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane and asks God if it was possible the cup be passed from Him.

God could have done so. God could have said, "Never mind, this is too much to ask of one man. This is not where he belongs." But He didn't. Jesus fulfilled His purpose and created a way for man to have a relationship, live and reign forever with God. It was up to his followers, his apostles to rise up and make sure everyone knew the message.

God very well could have breathed life back into Pastor Bell yesterday morning. God knew no one expected him to die before his Sunday message. Pastor Bell's purpose and vision for his church and how they would advance the body of Christ was established and set fourth well before yesterday.

Dave Bell is home now. He served the Lord during his short life on earth. Those of us from church and his family can be assured we will see him again in Heaven, because that is where we ultimately belong.

Have a blessed day my friends.

David Bell.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sun, 06 May 2012 21:14:00 +0000

Sunday mornings can be crazy here in Boltonshire. We try to get everyone ready and out the door so we can get to church by 10:30. At 10:30 they start praise and worship, but at 10:30 they also stop serving free coffee. Sure I can get free coffee at work every morning, but work doesn't have French Vanilla Creamer. Now being an expert at knowing my family, I knew there was not a chance in the world we were making it by 10:30 today. My second option required us to be at a Valero by 10:00, When the Spurs when a championship game, Valero gives out free coffee. We weren't going to make that either. So MaddSkillz and I left while KC was in the shower and picked up some coffee swag. We made it to church a little past 10:30 and the kids minus Ladybug were in their classes.

Everything was going along per usual. Praise and Worship was going along fine as it lead into communion. I noticed our pastor, Dave Bell, wasn't in the sanctuary just yet. I didn't think much of it, I'm assuming most of us weren't either, because it is not unlike him to come down the hill (the sanctuary is down a hill/driveway from the office and old church building) from his office in the middle of praise and worship.

Pastor Bell's eldest son, Matt was on stage and just started talking when one of the elders ran up, grabbed the microphone and asked if anyone knew CPR. Maybe a half people jumped up and followed him out the door. The whole congregation started praying. We had no idea who we were praying for, until Matt had said, "It might be my dad..."

Everyone seemed to stop for a second, wrap the idea around the fact their spiritual leader was in jeopardy, and then started praying specifically for Pastor Bell.

The prayers didn't mean more know because we were praying for our pastor and not some random person, but prayer is a weapon. If you have a gun and know you have to shoot at something in a general area, but do not know what or what you're shooting, it's harder to hit your intended target. When you pray specifically for something or someone, you have a better chance of hitting your intended target.

A few minutes later, we saw an ambulance and firetruck rush by the window and the prayers continued.

Another few minutes later, the same elder who asked for the CPR help came and told us Pastor Bell had passed away. Some of those standing in prayer fell into their seats. Screams of agony and loss were heard. Tears started to fall. Confusion of why and how could something like this happen.

I saw him last week when I had to run to the car real quick during praise and worship, when he was making his way to the sanctuary. He asked me how The Emsters was doing. The Emsters had been complaining of headaches for two months and we have been going through a lot in trying to rule out what specially was wrong. We had sent a prayer request to some friends of ours and it had gotten up to him.

I say "up to him" because in my previous church, I was not used to individual interaction with the Pastor. I had went to a "mega church". I learned a lot there, but we weren't feeling as we belonged. It seemed the business of being a mega church outweighed the specific individual relationships with the congregation. The fact that Pastor Bell, was praying specifically for my daughter and what was wrong meant EVERYTHING to me. It wasn't a blanket prayer of health and wellness towards you and your family. It was that specific prayer as a weapon I was talking about.

We felt like part of a family from the first day were showed up there. Every Sunday Pastor Bell would tell the congregation he loved us. You can take that how you want. You can take it like he "has" to say it because he's the pastor, or you can take it like he really does feel that way. With the way he and his church has welcomed and accepted my family the way even some friends and family do not, means he genuinely meant it.

He and his wife, Jodi have five sons. Matthew, Michael, Mark, Micah, and Mitchell. Matt is the oldest at 30 (I think) and Mitchell is a year younger than MaddSkillz. He was a blessed man and you could see it through his sons, daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren.

Psalm 127:4-5 says "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

This reflects Pastor Bell's family perfectly. His quiver was full of them. As well with the hundreds of people who have grown to consider him their spiritual father and leader. They too were all arrows in his very large quiver.

God Bless you Pastor Dave Bell. Your love and teachings meant everything to me and my family.

When you see Adam. Kick him in the shins for me would you?

Once Upon A Time In Boltonshire [Week One]

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 04 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

I guess I'm trying to get back into blogging. I was kind of burned out from it, plus my kids got kind of boring. So while I try to establish a routine, I'll post a previous blog, part or in whole. Usually it will be something I find comical and maybe comment on how things have or have not changed.

From Weekend Wrap Up Monday 8/09/09

I make the call to my grandparents and let them know that we made it back in town safely. My grandmother tells me that she found one of Ladybug's Care Bears. She said that she'll take care of it until we come back. I tell this to my daughter who has a break down. "We forgot Harmony Bear", I said.

"WE NEED TO GO GET IT!!" "MY BEAR!!!"

"HARRRRRRRMONNNNNNNYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyy......."

The wife was wondering why I even said anything. She has over TWENTY Care Bears and she wouldn't have noticed. I realized she was right. So, before I put my daughter down to sleep Sunday night, I go thru her bears and there's Harmony Bear. I then realize that we didn't leave Harmony, we left "Share Bear." So, I look like the hero when I bring in Harmony Bear. I'm not going to mention Share Bear at all. If the kid couldn't remember that she didn't take Harmony Bear, she's not going to remember that she actually took Share Bear.

And Now Today...

Yeah... This will totally still happen today if we left a bear somewhere. Which is why I learned my lesson and buy double of all the things they get.

Just in case.

Have a great weekend my friends.

Six Pounds.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 03 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Twelve months ago, there were four kids in our house that were in diapers. Disco, Celi, Emsters and Destiny. Sometimes we'd skip health insurance payments, just to buy diapers.

But I always had my daily Dr Pepper!!!

So we scared Disco with the Poop Monster eating his butt off last summer and the intervention was a success. He joined Team Tighty Whitey and we were down to three.

We had continuous health coverage now, just not car insurance.

But I always had my daily Dr Pepper!!!

In August, Destiny left along with her diapers and we were down to two.

Now I could have TWO daily Dr Peppers!!!

We've been trying to get Celi on the pot for a while now (the toilet, not the marijuana), but she was scared and did not want anything to do with the toilet. Maybe she heard the story about the Poop Monster and took it the wrong way.

So at the last diaper purchase, I told Celi this would be her last package of diapers. When they run out, she will have to start panties. When I told her this, she was cool. When her mother told her, she got pissed. On Sunday the diapers ran out and Monday morning KC started the "training".

Celi was scared of peeing without a diaper on. Kids just love sitting in their own waste apparently. They called me and I promised her I would get her something that worked on her older sister getting her trained.

Yes, SIX POUNDS OF GUMMY BEARS!!!

The bribery worked because less than an hour later, I got this picture.

Look how excited she is!!! Don't worry, it's not really pee. If I can help make a Superman painting, I can make food coloring and water look like pee.

Just joking, it really is pee.

MY DAUGHTER'S PEE IS ON THE INTERNETS FOREVER!!!

After the initial pee in the potty, it was on like Comic-Con! She's been going herself without us having to remind her to go to the restroom. So now all we have left is Emsters. I think she'll be easy, we'll have her scared of the Poop Monster by Christmas.

... and guess who get's three daily Dr Peppers now!!

Have a great day my friends.

Man of Steel

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

So MaddSkillz had to do a project for class. He had to take a painting by someone, anyone, doesn't matter and then recreate it with himself as the focus.

All without photoshop.

So he chose a painting entitled "Man of Steel" by Mel Ramos.

So he [read "WE"] had to make it work. Again, all without photoshop.

Here's what we finished....

I think it came out pretty dang good. We used candle motives as the rivets insulation board for the hull. The cracks in our hull were due to it being windy the night we bought the board and it folded in half on us. Sure we didn't take MaddSkillz height into proportion with the size of the hull, but he should get a close to perfect grade if you ask me.

Oh, and a Superman costume does not come with a yellow belt, so that "belt" is a yellow shirt belonging to MaddSkillz held together in the back with duct tape, with sharpie as the "buckle".

I know I haven't posted in forever, but thought my three readers might enjoy this.

Have a great day my friends.

Return of the P-Touch.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:42:00 +0000

I've been reviewing Brother's P-Touch Label Maker. In part one, I tested the durability of the label against common household cleaning products. With part two, I put the label maker to work in various situations around Boltonshire.

It's been a few months and I have to say, the labels haven't held up that well. It wasn't due to any defects in the product or adhesive. It had to do with this precious creature.

The Emsters

Now I'm sure you're saying, "How could that cutie pie, be a label hater?" Well let me tell you, during the day she's all nice and fun, and at night she turns ninja....

With enough time, Emma managed to pick at the labels and peel them off. She must have been real determined, because she picked at them until she got them all. I did not even think she had time to peel them off with all the other ninja things she does.

But then I found this...

You may think the kids run Boltonshire, but they make mistakes too. She obviously did not do a good enough job destroying the list, and she forgot about my mad ninja list finding skillz!!!

Ninja Toddlers aside, the Brother P-Touch Label Maker was great. The labels have various designs and fonts. It was actually missing for a while, then I found it in MaddSkillz' room. I'm not sure what he labeled, but I'm sure it was safe from the Ninja Toddler.

I would recommend the P-Touch Label Maker to friends and family, but with a disclaimer of keeping it away from Ninja Toddlers.

“I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Brother P-Touch and received a product and gift card to facilitate my review and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

A Letter to Lincoln Burrows.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +0000

You pretty much have to have seen Prison Break to appreciate this post. MaddSkillz and I are currently into season 2 via NetFlix.

Dear Lincoln,

It's a pretty known fact people think convicts are idiots. They do stupid things to get themselves in situations that cause them to get arrested. I know you were set up and all so you don't really fall into that category. But I'm beginning to think you're as big of an idiot as everyone else in jail. I'm talking about your attire while you are on the run.

Really??

Do you have to dress so dang cool? Loose open shirt, B.A. sunglasses? Shaved head? Sure, if I had your bone structure I'd shave my head. Heck I'd wear my shirt unbuttoned too. But I'm not on the friggin' run like you are.

The idea is to blend in with everyone else. Not to look like you're going to the MTV Movie Awards. It's no wonder why you're always recognized when you're walking around MIDDLE AMERICA. They tend to wear their shirts buttoned all the way up and hair parted to the side.

I know the series is over now, but seriously. Your brother thought of everything on his tattoo. Was there no room on his body to remind himself to tell you not to dress like a d-bag?

Just a suggestion.

Signed,

Eric.

Elf Watch 2011 - Day 3.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:00:00 +0000

The Elf on the Shelf survived day two. It's either coming back because the kids have been good, or coming back because he needs more evidence in the case against them.

Admiring a snowflake from atop the garland and bow.

They finally named him too.

They named him "Antonio". Not as in San Antonio. But as in "Antonio Garcia". The Gold Samurai Power Ranger.

Elf Watch 2011 - Day 2.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:00:00 +0000

The Elf on the Shelf showed up the other day, it's making it's run to Santa's Workshop to tell him how the Boltonshire Kids are doing. The fact he wasn't knocked off the entertainment center with a baseball yesterday makes it a victory all around.

Grandpa Dan's Stocking.

Elf Watch 2011.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Have you heard of Elf on the Shelf? If you're too lazy to click the link, or you think I prank people by provider seemingly innocent links that are really NSFW, here's the deal. This Elf shows up from the north pole shortly after you decorate your house for Christmas. It doesn't say a word, but only communicates with it's rosey cheeks and big blue eyes.

The elf sits on the shelf, not really doing much. It basically just comes in to your home, makes itself comfortable and just sits there. Kind of like the Occupy protesters . No real visual agenda. But unlike Occupy protesters, it actually leaves for a while.

Every night it flies to the North Pole and reports to Santa on how the kids have been behaving. It comes back the next day and is in a different spot. Since I have nothing else better to do on this blog, I'll go ahead and start ELF WATCH 2011.

[ - cue the dramatic news bumper music - ]

Day One.

Sitting on the entertainment center.

Christmas morning, the Elf should not be there because it's job is done creeping you out. The kids are supposed to name it, but they haven't yet. I'm thinking CLB.

Stay tuned to other places CLB will show up.

[ - cue dramatic news bumper music - ]

P-Touch Label Review - Part 2.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:56:00 +0000

So a few months ago, I was chosen to partake in a series of blog posts testing, talking, using and reviewing The Brother P-Touch Label Maker.

In case you missed the first post (or you want to read about me trying to blow stuff up), clicky herr for the P-TOUCH LABEL GAUNTLET OF DOOM!!! I basically ran the label through a series of X-TREME hardcore matches to try and get it to submit.

Now this month, I had to use the label maker to, umm... uh... make labels myself. I had to use them in a bedroom / playroom setting. Seeing as how the young folk of Boltonshire, pretty much claim ANY ROOM as their playroom, I figured I had carte blanche to use them anywhere.

So let the labeling begin.

Now if you've been a reader of this blog (even before I stopped posting with varying frequency), you know I have a lot of kids. Really, I do. It's not just a gimmick I have to get reviews. I honestly have about 285 pounds worth of kids.

I can promise everyone on the face of the earth my wife will add up the weights of the children and tell me I'm wrong even if it's by half a pound. Seriously, Sweetheart. It's okay.

So, 285 pounds of kids you tend collect a lot of shoes. Especially since 95 pounds of them are girls (which equals 7,231 pairs of shoes). For a long time, we'd try to put all the shoes in one bin, but it would always over flow and there'd be a ginormous pile of shoes on the floor. KC and I would be sifting through the shoes to find matching ones while running late for church. It literally monopolized 15 hours of our day.

Then my amazing, always right when it comes to the stats I post on this site, of a wife decided to give the kids their own bins. It was followed up by Mr. Brother P-Touch Label Maker putting the proverbial cherry on top.

Remember earlier this year when I found that HUGE comic stash from the late 60's to early 80's? I'm slowly going through them, trying to inventory what's in each box. I figured it'll be a good idea to break out the label maker and label the bins with the respective comics inside. Like so...

It's cool and all, but since they're not locked away anywhere, if anyone were to break into my house looking for the comics, they'd know which bins to go to. They'd skip over the Howard the Duck bin and go straight for the Uncanny X-Men.

You know how earlier I mentioned I have 95 pounds of daughters in the house? Before The Emsters was born, our space was limited. We didn't really have a place for a new dresser. We did have a bookshelf that was constantly being de-booked by the children. Eventually, I just got rid of the books and threw them up in the attic. We replaced the books with The Emsters clothes. Again, my wife had the idea to put the clothes in bins and label the bins. As seen herr.

I used to have this bit here on Juggling Eric called My Starving Artist. Ladybug said she wanted to be an artist when she grew up. So I posted her pictures here to showcase them. Her Gigi (my mother) got her an art case for her birthday this year. Even though it's the only art case in the house, I labeled it anyways.

During the P-Touch Label Maker Gauntlet of Doom post, it was impossible for me to get the label off the plexi-glass short of scraping it against a tree trunk and street curb. As soon as The Emsters saw something new, she had to try and destroy it. She proceeded to take the label off Ladybug's art case with no issues what so ever. She didn't even need nail polish remover. I printed a couple more for Ladybug just in case. I even pressed them to make sure there were no air bubbles. Sure enough, my youngest offspring took it off no problem (as seen in the picture above). So as long as The Emsters is not in your house, your labels are safe.

Now I didn't want to leave everyone else in Boltonshire out, so I had to include the other members with their personal belongings.

The labels are great, I haven't even discovered all the options yet aside from the frames and designs. I would have done more for my comics, but I am not sure on the amount of tape that's available in the sample cartridge.

“I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Brother P-Touch and received a product and gift card to facilitate my review and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

This is the second part of the series of Brother P-Touch Label Maker Reviews.

Happy Third Birthday Celi!!

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 14:16:00 +0000

Something I knew that was inevitable, but refused to acknowledge. My Celi Belly turns THREE today. At the time, I really didn't know how I was going to be able to deal with TWO girls. She by far has been the least maintained (in health and in discipline, although she has her moments). When she was a baby, she would just sit and watch everyone. I thought either she was observing and gaining knowledge or learning everyone's weaknesses.

I can usually have an image in my head of what a project would look like at it's completion. But if you would have told me three years ago, I could not have imagined her to be as beautiful as she's turning out to be.

I love you Araceli Elena. You are an amazing girl, and I am truly blessed to have you as my daughter.

Happy Birthday Celi!!!

Happy 4th Birthday Disco

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Seth's Birthday Present. A Robot in Disguise

Disco turns four today, and honestly I AM TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD SON!!!

So in honor of Disco.. I present two videos I made for him when he was born.

Beautiful Day

The Origin of Disco

Happy Birthday my son, you make me proud to be a father.

Occupy Boltonshire

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:00:00 +0000

So I've been taking notes the last month about this Occupy Wall St thing.

Then I made some additional notes in comparison. This time looking at my children.

Either my kids are going to grow up to be a bunch of hippies, or the Occupy Wall Street hippies are a bunch of babies. Sure I'm generalizing, but seriously, I'm part of the 99% as well and I don't think I'm entitled to ANYTHING that I didn't earn myself. I don't need Obama to do anything for me. I didn't need Bush to do anything for me either.

I work for a giant insurance company. One of the largest in the nation. I'm a warm body here. If I lost my job today, should I complain about the 10 plus years I've put into the place? Complaining does not put food on my kids plates. It doesn't get my wife's medicine.

Heck no. As a father, husband and a man being the sole income earner in my house, I don't give a crap if I have to donate plasma at seven different stations in between working general labor jobs from craigslist. My family comes first before any cause.

There's nothing wrong with causes and fighting for them. But this whole entitlement stuff is pure crap. And while my kids are kids and I joke in jest about them being destructive forces of nature, they will see their parents working hard and not expecting something for nothing because a rich white guy in on the 97th floor made a billion dollars this quarter.

< / end rant >

Have a great day my friends.

Happy Sixth Birthday Ladybug!

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Ladybug has been counting down the days, weeks and months until this day was here. We've tried to tell her we are not allowing her to turn six this year. She didn't buy it. We even told her that the president put in a a rider in the American Jobs Act that all birthdays that fell on October 14th were effectively cancelled this year going forward and there was nothing we could do about it.

She must listen to Rush Limbaugh because she knew that was crap too.

Against our wishes, October the Fourteenth has arrived and our baby girl has turned six years old and she couldn't be more excited. I am taking it quite well as of this writing. Tomorrow when I drop her off at school? I'll be a hot mess.

I'm too young to have a six year old daughter...

Here's a picture of us the day she was born.

Daddy and Ladybug October 14th, 2005

I seriously can't believe she was EVER this tiny.

So in an effort to keep thinking of her this way, we recreated this photo last night.

Daddy and Ladybug October 13th, 2011

I haven't changed that much in six years. Why the heck has she?

Happy Birthday Ladybug. You are an amazing daughter, a terrific sister, and a wonderful blessing to this family.

Thank you for being my daughter.

Fantasy Football Results Weeks Four and Five

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 02:06:00 +0000

Life’s gotten kind of busy here in Boltonshire, so blog posts are few and far between. If you see a daily post, it’s because it was scheduled in advance. I’ll do my best to stay up to date

Fantasy Football Week Four

El Supremo Maximos (2-1) vs SA Scikotics (2-1)

I played my baby brother (the one with the team that does not have a douchebag name). We were both 2-1 going into the match up. We were in Houston for my other brother’s wedding (the one WITH the douchebag name), and he took great joy in seeing the Steeler’s LOSE TO THE STINKIN TEXANS!!!! Not for any real love for Houston, but for the fact the Steeler’s defense was yet again SCREWING WITH ME!!!!

Final Score: El Supremo Maximos 69 / SA Scikotics 79

It wasn’t a total devastation, but if the Steelers would have done their crap, I could have won.

If I cussed, I’d call them a-holes.

El Supremo Maximos (2-2).

Fantasy Football Week 5

El Supremo Maximos (2-2) vs Team YO MERA (2-2)

I don’t even know what to think of the other team. It would hurt if I did, so I didn’t bother. I had won my first two games and it’s down hill from here and to be honest, I forgot about setting the team for play this week. Honestly, I didn’t touch the team and was already pushing it out for auto pilot.

The Steelers didn’t suck up the field, but I would probably only call the b-holes now.

But somehow, I pulled out a win.

El Supremo Maximos 127 / Team YO MERA 68
Obviously they put their team on auto pilot too.

Next Week
Next week I take on my new sister in law. And I’m not EVEN going to put her name on here for fear it will bring in the wrong type of audience if they decide to google search her name, so I’m just going to call her, “Team Who Shall Not Be Googled”

El Supremo Maximos (3-2) vs. Team Who Shall Not Be Googled (3-2)

I’m scared. Not because she’s my new sister in law and I don’t want to embarrass her. I’m scared of search engine optimization results.

If you’re a perv leave this page.

Ladybug's Lunchbags: Spongebob Week

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:00:00 +0000

A couple things changed this week. KC started working nights, and in an effort to keep her mentally sane, I changed my schedule so I could take Ladybug and MaddSkillz to school in the morning. The down side is I don't get home until 7pm.

Expanding from a suggestion from Lee over at An Ordinary Dad, I started themes each week. It's easier on me because I don't have to think about what to do every night.

This week, Spongebob Squarepants' Supporting Characters

MONDAY - Gary

TUESDAY - Plankton

WEDNESDAY - A School of Jellyfish

THURSDAY - Mr. Krabs

There was not a Friday due to our going out of town for my brother's wedding (Team Thunder Dumplings from Fantasy Football). And apparently I lied about the picture quality.

Have a great day my friends.

The City of Sugarland versus Eric D. Bolton et al.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 22:43:00 +0000

We went to the Houston area for my brother's wedding this weekend. We came home with this....

Details to come later this week. Hope your weekend was equally as fun.

Have a great week my friends.

Parenting Books Suck Survival Tip #16

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Did you know I was writing a parenting book? Yep. It's a work in progress and these are the notes.

Previous Tips - 4 / 8 / 15

Ladybug's Lunch Bags Week Three

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

I don't get to see Ladybug off to school in the morning, so I decorate her lunch bags everyday to let her know I'm thinking about her.

Weeks One / Two

MONDAY - Shamu - This one was done when the storm took the power out Sunday night

TUESDAY - A Ladybug. Reasons apparent.

WEDNESDAY - Spectacular Spider-Man - FRONT

WEDNESDAY - Spectacular Spider-Man Logo - BACK

THURSDAY - Dino. Per request from Nana. Unfortunately Ladybug did not know who it was.

FRIDAY - Johnny Test. One of her favorite cartoons before we axed cable.

I realize the picture quality sucks, but I think I figured out what is wrong with the camera on my phone. The quality of the photos should be better next week.

Have a great day my friends.

Fantasy Football Results Week Three.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Week three of the Fantasy Football season is over.

This week: El Supremo Maximos (1-1) versus Team Pace (2-0).

This week the third ranked (in their division) Maximos took on division leaders Team Pace.

Ugh. Another I don't have time to come up with a catchy' hey I'm funny douchey name' team!

You know, I should really watch what I say because these guys are going to be at my brother's (The Thunder Dumplings) wedding this weekend. Then again, I'm delusional if I think anyone other than my wife, mother and mother-in-law actually read this blog. So I can pretty much talk as much crap as I want to.

Well the Maximos were the underdogs going in. I could tell you the reason, but I have no clue who is on my team let along the opposing team. So me telling you why some other team is better than mine would make me look idiotic. I'm so short sighted when it comes to managing, I don't even look to see who I'm playing the following week. I base it all off of who screwed up the week prior, I get all Frank Castle AND I PUNISH THEM!!!

Just ask the wife of my former kicker Nate Kaeting. He lost his leg in a Michael Vick dog fight and I dropped him like phat beat. I'm not all about, "Let's go team! You guys do great no matter what the score is", "We didn't lose, we ran out of time!!"

ALL HELL NAW!!

Threatened terroristic style punishment is the excellent coaching skills I showed this weekend. El Supremo Maximos were projected to lose to Team Pace, but guess what!

El Supremo Maximos pulled the upset and won by a score of 107 to 74.

Team Pace?!? More like Team.... uh... Face.. As in... "in your....."

yeah.

Now this win is very important for the Maximos.

From my initial FF Post.
- I will win two of the first four games and then go on a eight game losing streak.

With my two wins out of the way, it is nothing but DOWNHILL from here. My team is like the Houston Texans of Fantasy Football.

NEXT WEEK
El Supremo Maximos (2-1) take on the SA Scikotics (2-1)

The Scikotics get bonus points for having a non-douchebaggery name. From the last two teams I played, he should get bonus points for having a name at all. This team is managed by another one of my brothers.

I will be making no changes since I've done okay the past two games and no one has a bye just yet.

How did your teams do?

Have a great day my friends.

Like O My G!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Depending on which syllable you emphasize, you can change the meaning or context of a particular word or phrase.

Let's try the phrase, "Oh my goodness!"

One way it can be said is, "oh my GOODness!!" - Emphasis on the GOOD. Used as expression of delight. Something so pleasant to look at that it hurts. Used on September 24, 2001 when Eric walked into a building and saw KC for the first time and thought she was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

Another way it can be said is, "oh my goodness..." - no emphasis on anything. Actually a de-emphasis as the words come out of your mouth. Used as an expression of disbelief. Not to be taken as a good thing. Used on September 24, 2001 when KC sees Eric walk into a building and silently prays that he stop looking at her and walk back out the buildling.

Tomorrow will be the ten year anniversary from when KC and I first met. Sunday will be the ten year anniversary from when I knew I loved her and would do anything for her for the rest of my life.

While a lot of things have changed, there's one thing that hasn't.

She can still make me say, "Oh my goodness!"

And she still says, "oh my goodness..."

Have a great weekend my friends.

Parenting Books Suck Survival Tip #15

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Did you know I was writing a parenting book? Yep. It's a work in progress and these are the notes.

Ladybug's Lunch Bags Week Two.

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

I don't get to see Ladybug off to school in the morning, so I decorate her lunch bags everyday to let her know I'm thinking about her.

Ladybugs's Lunch Bags Week One

Here's last weeks bags and where I start getting critical of myself...

MONDAY - A Hideously Deformed Boots. I don't know why he is so happy.

TUESDAY - Mario the Pizza Guy.

WEDNESDAY - Barney the Dinosaur with Fluid in his Patella.

THURSDAY - Nemo. My Favorite of the Week.

FRIDAY - A Stiff Cookie Monster

And the thing is, I'm the only one that sees the flaws in them. To Ladybug, they look just like the original ones. Since I do it all in marker, I can't erase and I feel bad if I keep throwing out bags I messed up on.

My wife made a good point Sunday night. If I do this EVERY SCHOOL DAY there's going to be over close to 200 of them. Right now it's part of my evening routine, but I'm going to run out of characters sooner or later. Any requests from the readers?

Have a great day my friends.