Domestic Goddess Raising Mess Makers

Stay At Home Moms - A.K.A House Slaves - Go On Strike!

2013-10-31T21:04:00.001-06:00

Stay at home moms (a.k.a house slaves) standing up!

That's right. You heard it, and you know it. We are domestic goddesses that need to reclaim our throne!

I wrote this post for fun, but I think all mothers whether they are stay at home or not, should take heed to this advice. We give and give and give, and as woman and mothers we tend to lose sight of ourselves. If you take care of yourself, you can better take care of the ones that need you.

If you are no good to yourself, then you are no good to anyone!

Stand Up For Ourselves

How to Get Our Domestic Goddess Status Back

Okay ladies. We all know how "rewarding" and "thankful" being a mother can be. We also know how much appreciation we get, and not to mention the pampering we get that comes along with being a mother. Hmmm....that doesn't sound right. Oh that's right, I mean how much we DON'T get.

A mother is a "thankless, never appreciated, pampers everyone else, rewards-come-later" kind of job. Mothers do the dirty work that no one else will do - such as laundry, the dishes, scrubs the toilets, gee did I forget something?....Oh yes, how about EVERYTHING that needs to be done in a house to keep it a home! We are house slaves - but ladies - let's not forget we are domestic goddesses.

Below are 8 things I want you to do for yourself within the next month. Actually you should do them at least once a month. You MUST complete all of them to fulfill your duty as a domestic goddess who has gone on strike. We will no longer accept the fact that we are slaves to our house.

We are the domestic goddesses that will turn our house into our castle.

Paint your fingers and your toes to match. Do it. I don't care if they will chip anyway (of course the very next day). If nothing else, you can feel like a princess for a few hours. (Unless you're like me and can't even keep a painted finger from chipping before they even dry - if that's the case, you can only gain a few minutes of princess hood.)
Take a shower, do your hair, do your make-up, put on some perfume, put on a dress and some high heels. Even if you are not going anywhere, this will do wonders for your mood. There's a bonus, too. When your man gets home, chances are he won't be able to take his eyes off of you, and he's putty in your hands. Make him take out the trash.
Go to a movie by yourself. Don't argue with me. This is a very important step in reclaiming our domestic goddess status. You need to get away from the house, and you need to do it by yourself. Fine, if you don't want to go see a movie, do something else. (P.S Getting away does not mean going to the grocery store to buy milk and toilet paper.)
Take an entire day off. This means do not do a single dish, do not vacuum, do not do ANYTHING. If it bothers you too much to sit in a house that is not clean, leave. Go to the pool, sit outside, anything. I know, you'll regret it the next day but you'll have such a good time not worrying about responsibilities you won't even care that the mess is double the next day. I'm serious about this one. It is not fair that we have a 24/7 job and never get a day off. So take a day off.
Go on a date night. Make your hubby take you on a date. Period. 'Nuff said.
Buy yourself something. Us house slaves are always buying everybody else things. Think about when the last time was you bought something for yourself. It kind of makes you depressed, doesn't it? Domestic goddesses are required to buy something for themselves. It doesn't matter what it is, it could be a new shirt, a new pair of shoes, or even some new lipstick (or chapstick if you prefer). Go out there and use your royal spending power, ladies!
Shave your legs. (Okay, you should probably be doing this more than once a month.) I will be the first to admit I hate this one. Shaving my legs is one of the WORST things I could possibly go through. BUT...it's always worth it in the end. Oh, and make sure you put lotion on them when you're done. Better yet, have your hubby put it on for you.
And last but certainly not least. Go get a massage from a professional massage therapist. I know, this one is expensive. If you think you can talk your man into doing this one without expecting anything in return, than go for it girl. If you can't, then you'll need to fork out the dough. It's hard work being a domestic goddess, and a massage is worth every penny if you consider it may save your sanity for the next few weeks.

Okay, now get off this silly computer box and get started on your list!

Getting the Final Kid off to School

2013-10-31T11:17:00.001-06:00

Will You Get the Kindergarten Blues or Celebratory Dance?

It's the end of summer, and you're ready for your kids to go back to school. What parent doesn't know THAT feeling? You get a little sad thinking the summer is coming to an end, but that's quickly replaced with thoughts such as your house will stay cleaner, will be quieter, and all around more manageable. Now let's throw a wrench in the mix. Your LAST baby will be going to school this year. Kindergarten. All kids will now will be in school. Do you get the kindergarten blues, or do you do the celebratory dance? I'm here to tell you - you get both. You will be a blubbering mess the day your last child goes to kindergarten. You will be beside yourself. Your tears will be tears of joy because your baby is growing up, tears of sadness because your baby is growing up, and tears of fear, because...your baby is growing up. Seeing the trend here? Your baby is growing up.

Okay, So You'll Be a Crybaby. How Do You Handle It?

It's completely acceptable to cry your eyes out when your last child goes to school. Every other parent there will be doing the same thing, even if it's only internal. Here are a few things you should remind yourself, that will certainly help you get over the tears.

Yes, your baby is growing up. But this is a good thing! Things are constantly changing, and that means things are happening the way they're supposed to.
Having all of your children in school allows for a more productive day for you.
You've been waiting for this day since the diaper stage. Don't lie, you know you have.
This isn't your first rodeo. Your other kids started kindergarten before, and you've bawled every time. You can handle it. :) You'll soon realize that your last one being in school will bring other stresses and financial strain, such as homework, school projects and field trips, so it'll make the first day of school seem like a cake walk.

So, Now What?

All the kids are school, now the fun begins. Time to figure out what to do with your time. I'm sure you won't have any problems with that, but in case you need some stimulation, here are some ideas to help you get through your day while the kids are getting smarter.

Clean your house
Go through all the old boxes, closets or storage areas that keep getting neglected until you "have time"
Organize all your old photos into a nice memory book
Read a book
Get your laundry done, and stay on top of it
You could always get a part time job if you happen to have spare time laying around. But be honest...who has that??

Congratulations to you! You have officially made it through the most demanding years of parenting. Now...let the fun begin!

I'm Back Baby!

2013-10-24T13:15:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been 5 long years since I've posted anything on this beauty of a blog, and now I'm here to say "I'm back baby!" Yes, yes I know I've been missed. :)

In the interment of those 5 years, I've since gone back to work, gotten divorced, gotten fired from my job, and my mess makers have grown up so much that I can't even believe it. (For the record, as those previously mentioned items above are actually all amazingly wonderful things!) I am a stay at home domestic goddess once again, and this time around it's gonna be twice as much crazy! I've got sports, homework, bigger appetites and bigger messes to deal with now. :)

So now, I look back at my posts from when my mess makers were itty bitty and I'm brought back to a place that I barely remember. They say it happens...the memories of our children become so meshed together and things that used to be so prominent in our lives become a blur. I'm here to tell you it's true. Love your children and every moment you have with them. Because it won't last folks.

I'm very much looking forward to updating this blog on a more regular basis now. Until next time! :)

Time for nothing

2008-07-30T02:18:00.003-06:00

Yes, I have had time for nothing. I just wanted to post something tonight because it's been a while since I've had time to write anything. I am going on a road trip with my four mess makers this week to Georgia. Yes, you heard right. We will be taking a 20 hour car ride with 4 kids under 6. I must be crazy. Then again, I already knew that when my 4th child was born.

All the kids are in bed, and I actually have the house to myself. The only problem is, I'm too tired to get anything I actually wanted to get done done. Not to worry, though. As soon as we get back from our trip, I'll post a nice long post about why you shouldn't go on road trip with anyone that doesn't understand the concept of "No, we're not there yet." Stay tuned, it should be a doozy. Until then, I'm sure I'll have time for nothing, as usual.

Raising Kids Effectively

2008-07-17T23:46:00.003-06:00

Raising kids effectively can only be done with humor

As a mother of multiple children (4 to be exact), I've had plenty of experience raising children, and I know first hand how trying it can be at times. Of course every parent out there would like to say they've never lost their patience with their children, but the fact of the matter is they have. What parent hasn't asked themselves at one time or another if raising kids was worth it? This does not make you a bad parent, this simply means you are a normal human being. Raising kids is hard, but it's always rewarding in the end. By the end of the day, when your children are asleep, you seem to forget all havoc that transpired through the day. Children say and do the darnedest things (in fact, I think Bill Cosby did a special on this years ago!) We love our children, and our kids love us. You can raise your children with a strict hand, or you can raise them with a loose glove. No matter which method you choose, when you become a parent, you are no longer allowed a quite, boring life. Your children bring life and excitement to your world, and every glass of juice that is spilled is just another memory created. Every child comes with a story, and every parent has a story to tell. They say laughter is the best medicine. Whoever said that never had their favorite bottle of lotion entirely wasted by their child, and an entire bottle of nail polish spilled on the floor. Once you become a parent, you are forever attached at the hip. If you're not, then you can expect gum in the baby's hair. I say laughing with your kids is the best medicine. Yes, laughter is the best medicine for all the parents that just want bedtime to come faster. I have 4 kids and I have been through it all. I have raised my children with laughter, frustration, happiness and grief. A parent never stops loving their children, and when you choose to raise your children with humor in mind, you're in for quite a treat. Of course, the treat doesn't seem to come fast enough (when there 18 and out the door!) Raising kids is a blessing, and quite the roller coaster ride!

Kid Sleep overs...Never again!!

2008-07-13T23:30:00.000-06:00

It starts off like a fine idea. You hem and you haw about it for a minute, but then you think "what is the WORST that could happen?" I'll tell you what's the worst...because that is exactly what happened to me.

You already feel terrible that you moved a week after school got out. Your kindergartener reminds you constantly how much she's going to miss her friends, and you constantly tell her "don't worry, we'll have play dates"...(let's not forget the fact that you moved 17 miles from the old home, and it's all highway.) Your daughter's "BFF" (yeah, I know) has been calling asking for the much anticipated play date that you can no longer put off.

Let me throw a loop in there...the little girl has a younger sister. This is an important detail to grasp, because as any mother of multiple children knows, it's heartbreaking to see one of your children have the look of longing in their face. You try to keep things fair between the children, and you often times have to sacrifice your sanity for it. Just the thought of you being the cause of someone else's child to have a bruised feeling is too much for you to tolerate. Understanding this glitch in parenthood is why your night goes so well, or should we say does not go so well? Yes, let's say that.

Okay, so you finally drag your bottom around to calling back the grand-parent (because that's who watched the little girls during the day, while the parents have the luxury of going to work-yes, I mean luxury...anyone who stays home with 4 kids understands this brutal honesty!) You make the necessary call, and invite both little girls over, so as not to be the victimizer of an adolescent (because you would of course want someone to do that for your children). As it turns out the grandpa doesn't drive, so now, not only are you making the trip to hell to get the little girls, but you have also been designated to drive her back to hell. God Lord. You've already been pulled in.

After getting conned into wasting your gas, your little brain starts mulling it over...you have to pack all 4 kids up to go get 2 more kids...drive for a half an hour...just to turn right back around and drive for another half an hour....unpack the kids...and then in 2 more hours, DO IT ALL AGAIN?? This is when it all starts to go downhill. You come up with a master plan that will eliminate all aforementioned headache. Or so you think....

You make the plan to pick the girls up the next day after the baby wakes up from his nap, and the master plan will take effect. You figure it will be easier to keep the girls over night and return them in the morning, before the baby's nap. This is the perfect plan, because after your house is filled with 4 giggling, screaming girls, you'll drop them off and come home to a quiet house (at least a 2 kids quieter house.) It's almost ingenious!

The time comes to make the dreaded drive. You pack up all 4 kids (really does he not know you have 4 of these things!? Oh the irritation!) The morning was spent mostly of reminded your older two that "after the baby's nap" means after the baby's nap, and now that you're en route, you can't get them to stop the constant chatter of spiritedness. You pull up to the house, put the car in park and hop out. There's no way you're unloaded everyone for this. You're truly hoping this will be a quick picker up. The girls are packed and ready to go, much to your relief. Now the only thing that stands in your way of a smooth transaction is figuring out the seating arrangement.

The drive back home is nothing short of loud. Picture this, if you will. 6 kids all under the age of 6...you're super mom.

You're really wishing for a quiet afternoon while the younger two nap and the older 4 play nicely together. You have phone calls to make, blogs to write, and more bills to pay than you'd like to. Why on earth you would ever even think your day would go as you planned is beyond all reason. The afternoon is filled with girls running up and down the stairs, you about pull your hair out every time a door slams, and your nice, clean living room is no more.

The afternoon drags on and on. For all you unbelievers out there, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Children prove this when they become bored of the one thing they couldn't stop talking about. Your two visitors are no longer happy just playing. Now they want to hang out with you and be by your side like a little puppy. This is not good. Kind of irritating, if we're being honest.

Dinner time is finally here, and there's a fat chance you're going to make it. You decide to call in the backup- you order pizza. You spend quit a bit of dough on it, because you had to make sure your guests would eat. You ordered the kind of pizza they wanted, however it still didn't get eaten. You should have just fed them spaghetti-o's.

BEDTIME!!! Nice. You're ready for it. You set the girls up in their bedroom and after moving the furniture around to accommodate 4 girls (this was not fun AT ALL), you turn the movie on for them. You assumed that because they had a busy day, they would fall asleep watching the movie, while you enjoyed some much needed peace. You go downstairs and sit your tired bottom down, hoping to get something done now. Assuming really does bit you. You should never assume.

The movie is not on for 5 minutes when you turn around and see a little girl standing over your shoulder. You pretend to not notice she's there, in hopes she'll return to her rightful place-upstairs and away from you. After realizing she's not going to go away, you turn and say ever so sweetly "what's up, honey?" "I want to call my daddy." Well of course you're not going to squander that dream, so you search for the phone for a few minutes until you find it. She calls her Daddy, and all is well. She goes back upstairs.

Get something done now. Okay, back to work. You hear giggling, squealing and thumping. Just glad it's coming from upstairs, you ignore it. You then hear the unmistakable sound of feet coming down the flight of stairs. God lord, are you serious? "What's up honey?" You ask again, this time much wiser than before. "I just want to watch you."

Grrrr......

"Well honey, why don't you go upstairs and watch the movie and try to fall asleep? You had a busy day."

"I don't want to."

Hmmmmm......now what?

"Come on sweetie, we'll get you all nice and comfy. You need to go to sleep."

She goes upstairs and gets nice and comfy.
She comes back downstairs.

"Can I call my grandpa?"

She calls her grandpa.

She goes upstairs.

She comes downstairs...

Are you seeing the pattern here? All the while, the noises that are coming out of the bedroom are driving you crazy. You start to lose it just a little bit. You decide you need to put the smack down. You tell everyone that it's time for bed, and if you hear another sound, the movie's off. This should do the trick. It's finally quiet. You think everyone is sleeping. You're about ready to go to bed yourself, when here come the feet again. "I want to go home." The sad voice behind you almost breaks your heart. Almost. By this time, it's midnight. You can't pack her and her sister up to take them home now. Why oh why, didn't she tell you earlier? You could have done something about it then, you could have avoided the coming ordeal.

You gently hug her and tell her you'll have waffles for breakfast, and as soon as breakfast was over, you'd take them home. She seems satisfied with this. You go tuck her in again (for like 9th time) and you notice her 5 year old sister is still awake. She also looks sad, but what can you do? You tell them both to sleep good, and you crack the door.

20 minutes later, you think it's safe to go to bed. The girls are all presumably sleeping, so you make the hike upstairs. You just get yourself into bed, when the bedroom door cracks open and out comes.....a little girl. You get up and tuck her in again, only this time, things don't go so smoothly. The younger sister starts crying because she misses her mommy and daddy. The older sister says she wants to go home, and your own two daughters are passed out despite the noise.

The clock now reads 1:30 a.m. After giving up the idea of sleeping comfortably in your own bed, you've crawled into the two twin beds that have been pushed together to fit 4 kids under 6. You sang, you told a story, you did everything you could think of to calm them down. You're now just counting down the minutes until they fall asleep. The room is finally quiet. There's no room for stretching out, because the minute you move, either your foot is going into someone's face, or your face is going to get an arm sprawl. Let's not forget the likelihood that the slight shifting would be a highly probable disturbance of the peace you worked so hard for.

Sleep does not come for you. It's toasty hot in the bedroom, and you're uncomfortable in more ways than one. You finally drift off to sleep, just to be woken up the VERY NEXT instant by a moan...then a whine...then a crying. Your two guests are up, and one of yours is now awake, thanks to a 5 year old that doesn't realize there are other people sleeping in the house. It's now early enough to call it morning (4:30 a.m), so you tell the girls to get up, since they "can't sleep"~their words ~ anyway. You herd the three girls downstairs and you tell them all to sit on the couch for a minute while you make your VERY dark coffee. There is still an ample amount of crying going on, so you inform them that they will go home very soon. This quiets them a bit, and you make your way to the kitchen

You wait rather impatiently for your much anticipated cup of coffee to finish brewing. Oh yes, you've made an entire pot, but you're not about to wait for the whole thing to finish. Thank God for the sneak-a-cup feature! You take your cup of coffee, and you go into the living room to go over the game plan with everyone. You walk into the living room, (cup of coffee already half gone) and what is the scene that you are greeted with?...All three girls are PASSED out, sound ASLEEP on your couches.

WHAT?!?!?! You just spent all night in an overheated, overcrowded, overnoisy bedroom trying to accomplish this, when all you had to do was make them sleep on the couch?!

It goes without saying (but I'm saying it anyway) the girls sleep until 8:00 a.m. and you, well you really got the shaft, because that darn coffee does it's job so well, you've still been up since 4:30 now counting down the minutes until they wake up.

OMG....is it ever quiet??

2008-06-29T16:52:00.000-06:00

You try and try and try....but to no avail, you can not keep a quiet house when there are 4 mess makers living there. Your domestic goddess status quickly diminishes with every second of every day. All you want to do is sit quietly at your computer and write a quick blog, and every second you are at the computer is interrupted by a squeal, a yell, a bump, or (my personal favorite) a space bubble being blown. Yes, I said it. My space bubble gets violated daily...no forget that...hourly...no, no it gets violated minutely! As I speak (okay, type) I am being uncomfortabley surrounded by the 6 year old and the 5 year old. They are trying (unsuccessfully) to read what I write...so....I'll have to wait until they are in bed. Then, maybe I'll be able to get some elbow room, and then, maybe it will be quiet. If I can block out my husbands snoring....

Quick snippet

2008-06-28T23:56:00.000-06:00

It's amazing to watch your children grow older, get taller, develop their own little personalities (even though I call them attitudes). It's almost sad, when you look at your child and realize they are not babies anymore...what's even sadder is this fact~

The older your kids get, the older YOU are getting.

Relaxing...I wish!

2008-06-23T12:41:00.000-06:00

You go to the swimming pool to relax, catch a few rays, get the kids worn out for their naps...aaaah....sounds good, doesn't it? Regrettably, this is NOT how it ever goes. By the time you get home you are ready to drink a bottle of vodka just to numb the memories of it all....

You make the plan the evening before, when all the kids are in bed. (Consequently, the house is actually quiet, so you THINK you are thinking clearly.) You wake up with a fresh start, brew your necessary coffee, and announce to the kids your ingenious plan. Your broadcast is greeted with whoppings of joy. The thunder of feet hitting the kitchen tile from hoping up and down should have been an inclination of what your outing would hold...

You feed the troops breakfast (one oatmeal, one cereal, the other two poptarts- because you're feeling generous in catering to them on this fine morning-hey, it's going to be a good day!) You go upstairs to get your swimming suit on...of course what should only take 1 minute turns into 10 because every suit you try on isn't covering the flab that seems to have enlarged extensively from the last swim suit season. 5 different swimming suits strewn on the floor later and one mismatched swimming suit on, you head back downstairs to crack the whip and make sure the kids get their things ready.

The baby has poptart in his hair, the older ones are making a high pitched sound they call singing, and the 2 year old has opened a bag of chips that you already told him he couldn't have. Deep breath, it's still going to be a good day.

Wash the baby's head with the smelly rag that's been in the sink for a few days (the only one you can find) , bark orders to the older ones "get on your suit now if you want to go!", and walk back up the dreadful stairs to get sunscreen lotion. You make the hike downstairs once again, and round up the two younger kids. The baby doesn't want sunscreen on, and the 2 year old wants to put it on himself. Argh....

Okay, everyone's sun screened up, now you have to go back upstairs to get towels (because it's still too early for the coffee to have performed it's duty so you forgot to bring them down when you got the sunscreen.) You make it down the hideous flight of stairs yet again, and then turn right back around-you forgot the younger two's swimming suits. You take the escalation of stairs one more time. Grab the swimming suits, and do a quick look around to make sure you didn't forget anything this time. Should be good to go.

The pool is close enough to walk, but you're not that stupid. You load everyone in the car, grab the bag of towels and sunscreen, and hop in yourself. Still might turn out to be a good day.

You get to the pool, everyone tumbles out of the car, and you grab the towel bag. By this time, it's a thousand degrees outside, and already 10:30 a.m. Finding a prime location to park it has now become nothing but an unlikely desire. Crappy location status confirmed, you plop down on the far corner, miles away from the actuall pool. There is absolutely zero shade in the vicinity. Probably won't be a good day.

It's swim time! Everyone gets in the pool and all seems well. The baby loves splashing, the older kids are having a ball, and the 2 year old may actually enjoy swimming once he let's go of the fist of your hair he's holding onto (apparently the water wings don't comfort him.)

Then, all hell breaks loose. The older one makes a huge spash, which in turn causes a chain reaction of events-the baby gets water splashed right in the face, he goes spastic and a flailing arm clocks the 2 year old right in the nose, and the piercing screams from both of them are all too much for any human to comprehend. The older one is completely oblivious to the destruction of peace she caused, and this in itself is enough to make your blood boil.

After trying unsuccessfully to get out of the pool from the ledge, you must make the distance to the ladder carrying two crying children...because of course the ladder is on the other side of the pool. You finally make it back to your scorching hot spot, and try ineffectively to unfold two towels for the two crying babies. You must first set one down (a kid), which is certainly not helping you at all, since this was about the worst thing you could have done to the child in his eyes.

Praise the lord, you finally get them calmed down! The three of you are sitting peacefully and quietly on the grass, wrapped up in towels (they also smell, because they sat in your washing machine for too many days). It just might turn out to be a good day...

The older ones come up looking for a snack (but due to the hectic morning you forgot to include them in your checklist.) You send them back into the pool after telling them you'll make lunch when you get home. The girls are swimming, and the boys are chillin', towels off, and soaking up the warm sun.

And then....here it comes again...the older ones return, soaking wet, with no regards to anyone. The excess water drips all over the younger ones, and peace is no more. Wailing begins again, unhappiness is in the air. You've had enough. It's time to go home. You tell the older ones to get their towels and get dressed. This is of course met by disapproving moaning. The look you throw their way silences them immediately, and they grudgingly get their towels. The sloth-like movement from them only irritates you more. You've officially ran out of patience. You tell them you'll meet them at the car, and if they're not there by the time you have the boys loaded, they'll be walking home. This gets them moving just a bit faster, since they probably wouldn't be able to find their way home if they had too.

You get everyone to the car, and realize in your haste to leave, you left the sunscreen there. Too bad, there's no way you're going back for sunscreen. The younger two have quit crying, and the older two are too mad to say anything. Well, at least it's quiet.

This was definitely not a good day...where's my drink?

You decide...

2008-06-19T20:47:00.000-06:00

Tip: Never have more children than you do adult hands!

I say this in joking, but how true it is! How many times have you been out of diapers, milk, juice, bread, or anything that is an absolute priority (and yet you've been out for days, prolonging the dreaded trip) only to finally succumb to the awful truth that you MUST go to the store TODAY. You can no longer put it off another minute, so you grudgingly pack up the kids (faces filthy, hair not brushed) and search your pig sty of a house for either your other flip flop or car keys (or both!)

After looking for a good 15 minutes, you finally get everyone in the car, and you're feeling pretty good about this trip. You tell yourself it's going to be a quick shopping trip, you're only getting what you need (never mind the fact that you will need toilet paper in 2 days- but the toilet paper aisle is on the other side of the store and it takes up too much space in the cart-you'll inevitably be making another trip very soon- but why do today what you can put off for tomorrow, right?)

You back out of the driveway, only to realize you've left your purse sitting on the table (which of course contains your checkbook) so you throw the car in park, take the porch steps two at a time, grab your purse with such force your stash of tampons fall on to the floor (not to worry, they'll still be there when you get back!) and dash out the door again.

You finally make it to the grocery store, and of course you circle the lot a few times looking for that glorious front row spot. You see a spot just on the other side, if you could only make it before that blue two door sees it...yeah, maybe in another lifetime. You bitterly admit defeat and park in the 4th row from the entrance (not bad), 10th spot back (horrible!)

After threatening the lives of your children if they ask you for even ONE thing, you get the troops out of the car and form the line that strikingly resembles a funeral procession. Of course you hear the normal "I don't want to hold her hand", or "Don't squeeze so tight!" The strides you are taking are about 1/2 the size of the ones you would prefer to take, thus extending the unavoidable ordeal.

Do you really need the cart that has the fancy red (or blue) car attached to the front? Yes, you do. Undoubtedly there are none left (okay, maybe a blessing in disguise-they always fight over who gets to steer the 1 working steering wheel anyway.) You grab the only cart that is left, put the baby in the front seat, the 2 year old in the back seat, and make the older ones walk. Almost instantaneously, the cart exhibits it's value-slim to none. The front left tire doesn't take turns, and it squeaks with every step you take. Just get the milk and get out! you think.

On your way to the milk, you have to pass the bread (which you need anyway, throw some in the cart) and you have to pass the cereal (which you need some of that too, throw it in the cart). You remember you need to buy peanut butter, otherwise the bread is a wasted thought, so turn the cart around and head towards the peanut butter aisle. As you're passing the cereal aisle again, you remember you're almost out of coffee, so you do a split turn in the middle of the grocery store and barely clear the mayonnaise display.

As you're deciding which kind of coffee you would like to wake up to for the next few weeks, your older kids are racing down the cereal aisle, the baby is squawking because your car keys are no longer an acceptable toy, and your 2 year old is trying to climb out of the the cart to join the older ones' grocery Olympics. The coffee is no longer of importance- because now you're children's lives are at stake.

As you finally gain a little control over the situation (and by control, I mean insanity), and you head back towards the peanut butter aisle. You grab the peanut butter and high tail it to the check out line (which apparently the store only has 2 workers- and the lines are worse than the motor vehicle lines). After hearing at least 30 different ways to ask for gum, you're cart moves forward. The baby is close to screaming, the 2 year old is now trying to get out to reach the candy, and the older two are playing chase around the cart (the track also includes going around you).

You pick up the baby, and wonder how any child has ever survived past the age of 6, and then proceed to unload the cart onto the conveyor belt that every child insists on sticking their fingers on. And now your bread is smooshed because your 2 year old was using it as his personal pillow. There's no way in hell you're going to get another loaf, you need to get out of the store now. The kids will be eating it anyway. You about have a heart attack when the checker tells you your total (seriously, you could have filled the gas tank to your Expedition with that amount).

You are ready for this trip to be over. You hastily usher the kids to the car, load everyone in, and succeed at bringing the cart to the carrel. Amazing! You are still alive, and even more amazing, so are your kids! You get in the car (grouchy as ever) and begin the drive home. You are half way home when you realized you forgot milk...the one thing you went to the store for.

You pull into the driveway (yes, like you were crazy enough to try again- just for milk). You unload the kids, the groceries, and your purse in the hallway. Your husband looks at you(go figure he's home now), kind of turns his head, and says "How was your shopping trip- Did you remember milk?"

You about want to strangle him.

Privacy Policy

2008-06-15T09:20:00.000-06:00

Privacy Policy for DomesticGoddessMessMakers.com

The privacy of our visitors to DomesticGoddessMessMakers.com is important to us.

At DomesticGoddessMessMakers.com, we recognize that privacy of your personal information is important. Here is information on what types of personal information we receive and collect when you use visit DomesticGoddessMessMakers.com, and how we safeguard your information. We never sell your personal information to third parties.

Log Files
As with most other websites, we collect and use the data contained in log files. The information in the log files include your IP (internet protocol) address, your ISP (internet service provider, such as AOL or Shaw Cable), the browser you used to visit our site (such as Internet Explorer or Firefox), the time you visited our site and which pages you visited throughout our site.

Cookies and Web Beacons
We do use cookies to store information, such as your personal preferences when you visit our site. This could include only showing you a popup once in your visit, or the ability to login to some of our features, such as forums.

We also use third party advertisements on DomesticGoddessMessMakers.com to support our site. Some of these advertisers may use technology such as cookies and web beacons when they advertise on our site, which will also send these advertisers (such as Google through the Google AdSense program) information including your IP address, your ISP , the browser you used to visit our site, and in some cases, whether you have Flash installed. This is generally used for geotargeting purposes (showing New York real estate ads to someone in New York, for example) or showing certain ads based on specific sites visited (such as showing cooking ads to someone who frequents cooking sites).

You can chose to disable or selectively turn off our cookies or third-party cookies in your browser settings, or by managing preferences in programs such as Norton Internet Security. However, this can affect how you are able to interact with our site as well as other websites. This could include the inability to login to services or programs, such as logging into forums or accounts.

AdSense Privacy Policy Provided by Domestic Goddess