iThoughts

Over and Out!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:06:00 +0000

Yes, I am high and kicking over here @ The Kicky Corner

Shoo-ing away awkwardness

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:20:00 +0000

You ever had that feeling of being in an elevator and feeling awkward about that silence that dawns upon you till your floor comes? Well, I always get it. It's weird and I know there's nothing I can do about it. I can't speed up the elevator to reach the damn floor. I just have to stand there and bear the silence with a bunch of strangers and wait till my floor shows up. Now, my life had become that elevator. Everything was silent. Everyone was a stranger. Popping up weird questions like "How's your pet rabbit?" made things worse. What made things easier? Be okay with everything that's going on. In fact, the more I apply my head into things, the complicated it gets. My nature doesn't give up. It works too hard on finding out the details of all the What(s), Why(s), How(s). I had to let them go. Well, do I feel better? Of course. Is this what I wanted? Maybe not but my brain gets less tired. Be happy for that!

From now on, the gossip town of all the troubles will come to an end. It'd probably range from conversations like, "Remind me why did we NOT talk for so many days again?" to "Hey, what's new with you man?"

Alright, fine, they weren't exactly ''gossipy'' kinds but you know what I mean. Never bother much with the details and just move on. Or, in short, be like a ''guy''. :P Okay, I hope I don't get stones thrown at me by boys for this.

Keep smiling. I'll try to write a lot more.

There's always a first

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 04:32:00 +0000

First time of everything seems weird but can be pretty exciting as it counts to be a new experience. Yup, you can say that it has been happening with me a lot lately. Just yesterday I celebrated Diwali in my college campus for the first time away from home. I thought it'd be awkward but watching all the firecrackers and bombs light up the sky was the greatest feeling ever. It's a thing about India - no matter wherever you are, you always get to celebrate the joys of every festive season with people around you.

Hope you all had a great Diwali! God bless us all. :)

Judge yourself instead of being judged by others

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 16:20:00 +0000

I hate it when that happens. When I'm serious, people ask me to stop taking tension and be cool. When I actually play it cool, people ask me to grow up and be serious in life. Lesson? People always talk but you do what you wanna do!

Sounds kinda brutally stupid, doesn't it? I say if you wanna break that gate of your pathetic neighbors, go do it. If you really wanna go tell your ex girlfriend that she's with a wimp, go tell her. Why think of consequences then? What's the worst thing that can happen? People would consider you rude or a horrible person? Well, big surprise, they'd consider that you are one ten or twenty years down the line anyway. All it will take is one stupid action from your side. That's gonna be the day when they'll forget all the good deeds you've done. Hence, screw the Mr. Goody Shoes in you and do what you want. It's a short life and you may end up being someone else just for pleasing others instead of being yourself and that's just plain stupid. Sure, a little bit of adjustment here and there to accommodate people in your life is always better but don'\t overdo it. Don't be completely ignoring the innate yourself just so that others like you better. If they cannot deal with who you are or how are you then screw them. It's better to survive alone than to survive with people constantly judging you or telling you what you should be and what you shouldn't be.

Honestly, you know the best what you are doing or the kind of person you are. I mean c'mon, don't tell me that you do something horribly wrong and think you did a great job. It may not be a quick realization sometimes but you do learn it eventually, don't you? So why wait for others to tell you or let them change you beforehand? Be your own boss.

Look at dogs for a minute. Let's take a bloody second and look at dogs! Now, what's wrong with them? Nothing. They go lick everybody. They go growl at every person. They are happy with a bone and they don't care if a big fat alligator or a baby threw the bone at them. What I'm trying to say is if dogs can be themselves and what they are then so should humans. They don't change their characteristics or nature. All they do is adjust themselves around us. How? Adjust themselves with the food we provide them. Adjust themselves with the crappy names we give them. Adjust themselves with the priority we give them. They get sad too. They are unable to express it and that's why we take them for granted. Does that mean they care such a great deal about it? They forget it the very next moment they see you and come and lick your face off!

So for the sake of hecks, care but don't overdo it because you'll be termed as a dinkus in the end or treated like dog-shit someday. Don't forget yourself or who you are. It's just not worth anyone in this world.

I posted some crap after a long time because I was frustrated with myself and not with this blog or life in general. Can't I rant? I don't care if you guys think I'm too whiny. That's how I am. But I do care that you guys care to read this space.

My 50th post.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 05:38:00 +0000

I wanna thank everyone who kept reading this space even when it was damn irritating.

Thanks to my precious fans too who took the pain to follow me!

You all get a big hug from me on my 23rd birthday.

LOVE YOU ALL! <3

The Impossible Gift Idea

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 05:56:00 +0000

What's more heartbreaking? When a person breaks your heart or a person dismisses your gift that you've spent months on trying to make it perfect? Duh! The latter one. Imagine to have to live through that moment of guilt and anger till the person is done talking ill about your gift.

Let's take Jack and Jennie for example here. Now, Jack spent months trying to get Jennie the perfect gift. What did he get her? A custom made barbie doll that says ''I love you, Jennie'' in its own colorful ways.

Jack: So didja like it?

Jennie: Mmm. Uh hmm. Mm.

Jack: Hehe, err what's wrong?

Jennie: No, I loved it. I mean who won't like a doll that says your name, I mean..

Jack: *has a puzzled look on his face*

Jennie: I mean who wouldn't like to see a barbie say your name! I mean this is exciting, I mean..

Jack: Erm, honey?

Jennie: Yeah?

Jack: You know the old classics like "It's a really nice gift'' is still OKAY!

Jennie: Yeah, I know. But nice would just mean nice. I wanna say that it's nicer, you know. I wanna say..

So this went on. Finally, Jack understood that she didn't like the gift and Jennie came out with the truth that it's a lame gift.

The challenge is to decide the perfect gift by not putting much thought into and just come up with a random idea. Here's the part which gets tricky! Now, there are SOME people who already own everything. Let's take a ''guy'' for example. He'd always give you the I-already-have-a-watch thing on your face, you know. Whereas, it's always always easier to get a girl chocolates. You get her a pack of Cad bury and she'd go crazy on them. Gifts that are consumable are easier than the gifts that'd make a permanent stay in one's lives.

Let's take my dad for example. I mean now that I'm getting a nice stipend, I thought it'd a great idea to get my parents some nice gifts first, you know before I go around spending it on myself or my favorite dogs across the street. The conversation never goes well with my father. My mother is easily convinced. She'd take anything I wanna get her but dad...

Me: Dad! Dad! How about I get you a coat?

Dad: No, thanks. I already got one.

Me: Oh...Then how about a nice watch?

Dad: I've a watch that's working for 15 years. (there comes the stats. 15 years of watch experience, 10 years of shoe experience and what not)

Me: Ohh-kay! How about I get you a nice pair of Ray Ban eh?

Dad: I already got a better brand of the Police.

Me: What about shirts? Let me buy you a shirt and trouser set?

Dad: Got too many of them, dear.

Me: *I get mad obviously* Alright, so let me get this straight. You already have everything that I'm willing to afford within my reach. So there is absolutely nothing that I can buy you?

Dad: Oh well, I don't know..

Me: How about I get you a nice dinner?

Dad: You mean if you cook yourself? Sure.

See? That's the key. Consumable gifts!

Now that I think about it I never cared about the idea behind the gift. I don't want a huge building with diamonds on it. You get me a pair of earrings and I am happy. You get me some chocolates and I am happy. And I'll never give you the - I've had chocolates for 10 years (stats) ! I'm speaking for myself here because I've known both girls and guys who give each other a hard time regarding gifts. So the key here is to get something that can be finished within minutes and cannot be said no to (irresistible)

Couple of pointers -

Food

Food again.

Movie Tickets

Oprah Tickets

Lottery Tickets (alright, this one's lame)

Take a Trip together!

And if you're thinking of something that'd be a permanent gift then get a picture of that person's family members including that person in it and get it photo-framed! What? Family's gonna stay forever!

Family Anecdotes

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:01:00 +0000

Scene: Morning call for breakfast at home
Mom: There's bread and peanut butter
Me: Noooo
Mom: There's puffed rice and some snacks
Me: Noooo
Mom: There's corn flakes
Me: Chocolate flavoured?
Mom: Umm, no normal ones
Me: Then, noooo
Mom: Alright, that's all we have at home
Me: Nooo
Dad: *as he passes by my room* You know people who miss breakfast grow fat
*I rush to the kitchen as soon as I hear that*
Mom to Dad: How do you manage to do that?
Dad: You gotta pick your battles.

Scene: Me and my dad are watching some bollywood song dance
Me: Oh, good. Another song in the middle of the movie. Exactly why I prefer english movies
Dad: I always thought the junior artists are cuter than the main artist.

Scene: Deciding what's gonna be for dinner.
Me: I want a gravy dish.
Dad: I want a curry dish.
Mom: So, what should I make?
Me: GRAVY!
Dad: CURRY!!
Mom: Aaand curry it is.
Me: Why do I always forget in an argument that you'd take your husband's side!

Scene: Venting on life.
Me: I want some freedom! I am not 16 anymore. Why can't I just go out and get some fresh air?!
Dad: There's a park right by our building.
Me: That's great :D *I hurry to go get dressed*
Mom: Honey, on the way back, could you please get some peas and onions, a jar of mustard and..
Me: *I glare at mom* AND?
Mom: Umm, and a can of mushrooms? *grins at me*

Scene: Having dinner at home.
Me: *halfway through dinner* Argh! Why can't we order KFC or McD or some nice chinese?
Dad: *while eating* Because by the time they reach, the food becomes cold.
Me: Then why don't we go and eat outside?
Dad: In this weather and traffic? Are you kidding?
Me: When you didn't have a car, that used to be your excuse. Now, you have a car and the weather is your excuse?
Dad: I never said I'm buying a car for a hunger ride. *keeps munching*
Me: Then why'd you buy a car if we can't go outside at all?
Dad: Honey, it's for official err office purpose.
Me: :|

Scene: Dad talking on the phone.
Dad: Alright, peter. Will see you in the office and talk about it tomorrow.
Dad: *about to hang up* Hmm. Mmmm. Alright. Alright
Dad: *listens to some more* Okay. Okay. Bye!
Dad: *responds to another query* Well, we'll talk tomorrow on this.
Dad: *finally hanging up* Ooookay. BYE!
Mom to Dad: Perhaps you should wait till the other person finishes before you hang up.
Dad: That's the only way to let the other person finish ASAP!

Scene: A normal discussion
Me: Hey, you guys, why am I the only child?
Dad: It's hot! I better go take a shower. *rushes to the bathroom*
Mom: I've got something on the oven. Lemme check.
Me: *to myself* Ask a question just to shoo them away. :|

We all have a crazy family. It's the craziness that makes it fun, innit?

A letter to me from my childhood.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:46:00 +0000

Dear Anamika,

First of all, I'd like to say ''Hahahahahahahahahaha!". Confused? Well, you know you're a big dinkus, right? You should know that. Great job growing up by the way. And why on earth do you make people call you ''Ana''. I remember when you were little people used to call you Anamika or Mona. I mean what's wrong with that now? Both are really good names. Stop being such a wannabe and trying to fit in better.

And what's with all the emotional crap? Remember that things are simple. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Why do you have to go out of your way to impress or depress someone just because you think it's the ''right'' thing to do. BTW, we also need to talk about right and wrong. Let me tell you that life is the same as it was back when you were little. It's you who has changed. It's you who made all the choices. If you made a booboo, then suffer! Why cry about it?

I looked much prettier than you too. I don't know what you eat or sulk yourself into. Look at your hair! Mine was so much better. People even adored me. Nobody tried to give me all the lifelong advise. I was a good girl and most importantly a naive girl. Why are you such a cunning little masquerading pest?

On the parents thing - since when did mom and dad become hell for you? No, answer me. When you were little, they protected you from all those evil neighbours and that big dood with a bat who was coming to hit you or the rich girl who made you cry with all her pride. They love you and they don't keep 10000 conditions before you. It's not like they asked you to clean the dishes or make the bed everyday. You were the sweet little princess and you owe them for that by not cribbing 24/7.

Freedom, my ass! What freedom are you talking about? Going out and meeting your friends and having a lovely time with them? Well, I did it too and they never stopped me. What's stopping you? Only that I never returned after 11 or 12. I came home back at 8. Alright, I grant you 2 more hours. Come back home by 10! I bet they'll not stop you from meeting your friends.Well, I never made friends with strangers. If you do and don't tell your parents about it, I guess that answers why your freedom was snatched away from you.

For god's sake, exercise, woman! I used to ride the cycle everyday! I used to go running. Heck, I even fell into the gutter while playing hide and seek with my friends. Remember how my hands used to pain after playing badminton for long hours with my best bud? What happened to you? Sitting at home, staring in front of the screen, hooked on to your stupid Facebook! I managed to survive without social networks. I made friends in real life. Why can't you?

I'm a lot jealous of you. I didn't have many things which you have today and still I was happier than you are today.

I could never make my legs reach the ground and the waiters had to get me extra cushions for me to reach the table at the restaurant. Do you remember how embarassing that was for me? You don't have to deal with that now.

My cousins used to make a fool out of me asking to me to pray from Santa till I realized he doesn't exist. You don't have to wait up all night waiting for the fat round man to bring you apparent gifts.

My parents banned me from taking to a movie because it was an adult film. I stayed home with granny having coconut cookies and staring at the sky, cursing my parents to the core! You don't have that obligation. You don't get to curse your parents for not taking you an adult movie because you CAN go for it. Oh, wait. They never took you? Why would they? You're a sad wuss.

I could never wear jeans or write with pens or wear nail paints to school! You can do those things.

I couldn't watch the late night cartoon shows because it was past my bedtime! You can watch more than late night cartoon shows if you know what I mean!

Hence, for once stop trying to think that you're a loser because you achieved all those things which I could never achieve! These teeny tiny achievements -- they count missy!

And what's with all the heartbreaking story? If you love someone, stick with that person. You don't have to be in love with 10-12 guys and then choose. What do you think this is? The princebowl for the princess? Just love and be loved. Be free like me! Be cute like me!

Most importantly, don't kill me. Trust me, you need me. Not only for my great ideas, but for giving you a constant reminder that you've won many battles!

Now, go blog this out to the world. See? I couldn't even blog back then! DARN YOU! Lucky rat!

Love,

Your sweet little yourself

*evil grin*

Don't sell your thoughts!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:49:00 +0000

Go ahead. Judge me all you want! I never liked the idea of having blog contests worth insert-some-price-here bucks. If you want money, then let's do something meaningful with it or for it. Like cleaning the roads of our neighborhood or buying some medicines for the stray dogs who've been wounded for years or feed the hungry and the poor.

But writing some cooked up story or some words that will blow others minds which you'll never ever do them in real life just for a great prize is just plain rubbish. Some say that actions speak louder than words. It's the same thing with our writing. Sure, it's easy for me to sit here in my comfy room and write a couple of words that might influence a lot of people. What will really influence the world is when I step up and actually apply my words in real life.

If the sponsors have loads of money to give out, then they should give it to people who are needy and cannot afford food or cannot afford to live, not the ones who can manage to write some influential words and wait for grabbing the money when they want.

I see contests all around. In fact, I even subscribed to a couple of blog contests a few days back. This is what happened! I saw this contest where there was a prize money put for a 1000 dollars and a couple of other freebies. For a moment, I lost my mind and got so greedy over those incentives that I decided to write for it and win it. And as soon as I made up my mind to write, I started thinking of the topic. No matter how much I thought, there was this need and urge in my mind that it has to make an impact on people, on others, on the ones who'll judge my writing, on the ones who'll actually decide if I deserved the money. I started thinking about my real life stories. They were too precious but not 1000 dollars precious. That's right, they were priceless. They may not have made an impact on others but they made an impact on me. Truth is your life only makes an impact on yourself. A few others too maybe - the ones who care about you the most. So after thinking all this, I started thinking of making up stories. I thought about fiction. I thought about fairy tales. I thought about tragic endings or beginnings. I thought about animals, the nature, the birds, the people. I thought about relationships. But I failed to cook up something interesting for winning that ''money''. I got so mad at myself that I dropped the idea of writing for the money. It had this evil influence on my mind. It was making my feelings too commercialized. It was manipulating my heart and I could not let that happen to my thoughts!

I say that never sell your thought, your blog or your heart for the money. Your thoughts are too pure and precious for just some contest grab-on. The day you sell your thoughts for the money, it will be sold forever. The things written from your heart is SO not worth the price they are putting on them.

It's sad to see that 90% of the posts written for the contests are so fake and commercial that they have no impact except scream out loud for the money. Sure, writing for a living is a different thing. But then again, the people who write for a living have their posts manipulated, reviewed, refined like 50-60 times before they actually get it published. That's not the real outburst of thoughts. Our real thoughts are raw, fresh and drafted in our hearts for a long long time. Do you really want to sell them?

If we had put our passion, our heart in our jobs, it wouldn't be frustrating. Heck, it wouldn't even feel like we deserve the stipend they pay us. Think about it. When was the last time, you did a job you really loved? And if you did really love it, did you care about the money so much? I bet no. If yes then maybe that's the way it is. What I feel is already spoken.

The saying - "If you're good at something, never do it for free" has its own limits too. Remember that.

Music - Summary of Life?

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 07:24:00 +0000

I remember when I was in school, I used to go for english tuitions. Apparently, Wren & Martin wasn't helping me. The tuitions used to be conducted by this college professor. He asked me a question one day about ''speed''.

Professor: What do you think travels the fastest?

A friend: Sound!

Me: Umm, light?

Professor: You both are wrong.

Both of us: *puzzled*

Professor: It's the BRAIN!

Now, that I think about it, he was right. The fastest I can reach home is by picturing myself in it first. I think the fastest we can think sometimes does beat light and sound at the same time.

But what has this got to do with music? Well, I'm sure this has happened to many of us a lot of times that you're listening to a particular song and the memories keep jingling in your head. It does, doesn't it? Today, I realized that music had the power to actually play an entire summary of my life in my head. It was about everything - the traps, the pitfalls, all my relationships with every person I ever met, painful & happy memories, my childhood, my teenage! Soon after the music got over, I felt like I literally lived all my life till now through just one song! It was an amazing feeling.

Has it ever happened to you? That you were listening to a song and it ended up taking you back in time?

Kinda like the feeling in this song

For those who fail to understand hindi, the song says - I wish I didn't have to return to my conscious state(reality) at all.

Small talk or No talk?

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 10:55:00 +0000

One of the many many things I'm allergic to is Small Talk! No, it's not any product I'm talking about. The usual small talk amongst people, you know. It's fine until it reaches the point when you cannot draw the line between just being nice and getting out of it. I cannot speak for all of you but I can surely tell how uncomfortable I get when it gets out of control.

As always, I'll give you a reference from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. There was this scene where a guy named Gunther was pouring coffee to another guy named Chandler.

Gunther: *pouring coffee*

So there's an obvious silence till the coffee is being poured.

Chandler: *breaks the silence* So what do you do when you're not working?

Gunther: You don't have to fill these silences.

Chandler: Alright. *storms off with the coffee*

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="600" caption="Courtesy: xkcd.com"][/caption]

If you think about it, this is a funny scene but this has happened a lot of the times in real life to me when there's an awkward silence and I really don't know what to say. The fear of a small talk popping up is what scares me the most.Ofcourse, I've mastered the art of stopping the talk before it even starts.

Bus driver: *while driving the bus and sees me sitting in the front seat* So what's your name?

Me: Why at all should I tell you?

Lady in the grocery: *sees I'm a regular buyer so starts* You live around this neighbourhood?

Me: No, I come all the way from New Jersey just to shop here.

Friend on FB: *pings me after a LONG time and never talked to me in college* Hey! How are you? I really miss you.

Me: Heh? Really? Did we ever talk?

Friend on FB: We should meet up sometime.

Me: Never talked but meet, ya right!

Friend on FB: Hey, I'm just making small talk.

Me: Yeah, well...don't!

Well, no I'm not always rude. I've tried making small talks. Trust me. It's just that I'm not very good at it. Once, I tried talking to this grocery man who was unable to find a jar of pickles and kept asking me about the weather and everything including politics, best swimmer, lazy sharks, prices of fuel, gold and etc under the sun. I mean there was nothing left for two strangers to discuss and he still couldn't find the jar of pickles that I asked him to search for. So, I actually left the store looking for it in some other place.

I face this problem when I'm on the phone with my relatives. I always term that as SMALL TALK! Oh, please. I'm not even close to my 2nd, 3rd or I don't know any n-th mausi or bua whom I haven't seen in years and when my mom just happens to force that phone down on my ear, all that comes out of my mouth is - "Yes, I'm fine. Take my respect. Give me your blessing. Talk to MOM!". There's this rush to hang up or give the phone back to my mother. I just cannot make conversations for the heck of it.

Ever got tensed in an elevator? I did. Lots a times. But you know what I appreciate in an elevator? SILENCE. I really do because you have no idea how uncomfortable it gets when a stranger in an elevator happens to pop up a talk with you when all you're waiting for is for your floor to arrive.

And this is what happens to people who happen to strike up a conversation with me after years of gap and ask me for my number. Sure, they'll have my number and everything but I'll never pick up their calls. If I cannot talk smooth with my relatives whom I do visit once every year, how can I talk to people who have been out of touch for like 9-10 years? Honestly, how much can you fake or go on making promises that you'll meet or call or catch up when there's nothing to talk about!

The awkwardest -- so awkward that it made me say awkwardest -- has been when I couldn't remember someone who was talking to me for about 5 minutes.

Uncle-type-man: OMG! Anamika?! Look at you! You've grown so big!

Me: *still trying to recognise him* Erm, hehe. Yeah.

Uncle-type-man: So what do you do now? Studying or Working?

Me: *still figuring* Well..I'm still studying.

Uncle-type-man: Aww, I still remember how you used to always be in your dad's arms when you were a baby. You remember? I used to tease you that you'll be a very lazy girl someday.

Me: *thinking if I was a baby, how is he expecting me to remember it?* Erm, do I know you?

*awkward silence*

Don't ask me how I got out of this one.

What do you prefer? Small talk or No talk?

Freaky coincidence update: The day I wrote this post, that same evening this exact small-talk incident occurred to me in the elevator. Old man walked in and asked me whether I'm done with studies and I'm working now etc. I ended up asking him ''Who are you?''. It's weird but I think my blog is on to me.

An incessant poll to ruin your mood.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 05:50:00 +0000

[polldaddy poll=5105236]

My horoscope is more like a horrorscope

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 30 May 2011 10:37:00 +0000

Okay, this is the time of year when my parents start getting all huffed up about my marriage. A little too soon? A little too early? I'm a still kid? Well, apparently for my parents, finding my prince perfect would take around a decade. I am surprised they didn't start the hunt when I was just born. They're more than 20 years late! Nevermind. So with all this fuss about starting the process, I get to know some intriguing details about myself through my religious portfolio -- The Horoscope! For many of you who are unaware of the term, check out the link. Remember the time when I told you guys about the great great Arranged Marriage in my community? Well, it seems that it is a big deal and everything has to go perfectly according to the plan.

Now, before I go into the groom samples (another post scheduled for that), I'll tell you the highlights of my horoscope. I know ~~all~~ most of you won't believe in it and so do I but it's always fun to know some whacky things about oneself. Or, atleast that's what I thought. I tried to sneak into my horoscope because it seems that one is not supposed to see their own. Yeah, talk about constraints. Anyway, now I know why one is NOT allowed to do so because it turns out that my life is going to be some kind of a dead end zone. Check these out

I cannot do a love marriage because apparently I'll kill the guy or he'll die of some tragic disease because of me.

I will own ''several'' kids. I'm afraid to have even one but several. I don't know if it's scary or being blessed?!

I will earn LOTS of cash by my 40s -- The time when my life will just be starting and I'll be a married woman worrying about my husband's affairs. Well, lucky me eh?

I will apparently have a possibility of a car crash when I'm in my 30s. So there goes the cash.

I will divorce my first husband to marry a second guy. My parents were worried I won't even marry one. Oh, and I divorce that one too which will shoo away my kids.

My grandson will be the most handsome man. WTH will I do with that? I mean good for him and his crushes maybe?I'd prolly not be even with him because I've already shoo-ed away my kids according to the previous point or I'll be dead already.

Do you ACTUALLY think I'm gonna read it any further? To hell with horoscope man, I'm glad knowing where I am and what I am without it. God forbid if those points turn out to be true, I'm going downtown. Ofcourse, for clubbing and become a gangsta. I wanna start living already. :|

Remember those days when life was simpler and my mother thought I was gay?

A guilty mother's apology to her baby blog.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 16 May 2011 08:06:00 +0000

Just noticed that many people have put up blogoversary on their blogs to celebrate their blog's birthday. I think it's kind of sweet that how much people care about their blogs. To me this blog is much more than an online journal. It's my baby! I always wanted to adopt one but iThoughts is my very own baby. I gave birth to it without any witty funny man or smart seed of any righteous soul, but just with a keyboard and my mind.

And today the thought struck me deep when I started thinking about my blog. I've been a horrible mother. When I was putting the birth date of my blog on the blogoversary link, it appeared to me that iThoughts is going to be 2 years old while many of you will see that it has just completed 1 year which is not true. I remember deleting my blog and account -- almost everything when a storm hit my life. You know those times when you wanna end everything when nothing's going right? Yeah, I've been through it. But this blog was everything to me. It was a very popular, funny and happy space. Not only did it make me laugh but entertained many others. I remember it had many followers. Everything got over when one of my moods struck me. It kinda makes me regret that time.

I feel like I've killed my baby with my own hands. Kinda aborted it or something. So here's something for you, iThoughts

I will always hold you close to me

You've been my only diary whenever I wanted to talk to someone

You never react but always understood me

You were able to pull out my thoughts and place it here

You cheered up many souls, kudos to that

You made me think a little more everytime I came to you

You will always be my dearest! And not even once will I ever think of deleting you from my life EVER

Mommy is sorry that she has been so harsh to you but I'm ready to pay my dues. Whatever it takes you to keep you alive, I'll do it. I'll feed you everyday with anything that I'm capable of. Most importantly, I love you the most and you mean the world to me.

On a funny note though: I apologize for trying to change your clothes so many times and being a terrible shopping freak when it came to picking out the perfect theme for you. Someday, I'll design your clothes with my own hands and make you look like a shiny piece of journal.

I love you, my baby girl. :)

BTW, iThoughts is a girl because she has all the colours of life. She's sensitive and funny at the same time. And soon I'll think of a name for you on your 2nd birthday. Till then, we'll celebrate the countdown in a grand way.

Till then, baby girl name suggestions are welcome. :)

Miss, you forgot to take your balance!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 15 May 2011 12:16:00 +0000

Welcome to the shypot land. Yes, there was a time when I was this doofus head. Wait? I still am. :s

I never liked going to the bazaar(market) alone. NEVER! Many many reasons behind that but just to cut to the fancy part -- I am shy. I was a shy kid and I always will be a shy kid.

I remember my father used to forcefully send me to buy groceries with a proper list of what all to pick from the store. And I had this consciousness that suddenly I'm on the road and everyone's just watching me. I get so tensed around people on the road that I just tend to start brisk walking. That makes me restless so there was a time when I went running to the market. Ah, don't ask.

So everytime I used to go to the store, I used to be scared of the transaction part. Ofcourse, nowadays most of the supermarkets have those machines which even tell the amount needed to subtracted and stuff. But I sucked at mental maths. I still do. Oh, another reason why I was shy. So after I used to finish getting all the stuff from the store, this was the scene most of the time:

Store guy: *telling me the total*

Me: *handing over cash like 100 or 200 waiting for change*

Store guy: Don't you have change?

Me: *nervous* Erm, No..sorry (I actually did have change but was too lazy or scared to calculate how much exactly I had to give him)

Store guy: *counting notes and giving me the change*

Me: *calculating the balance by subtracting the amount I owed him from the cash I gave him*

Store guy: Is it fine?

Me: *still calculating* Mmmhh

Store guy: Is it more or less?

Me: *getting more nervous and breaking the flow of calculations...start calculating again in my head* Wait wait..

Store guy: *starts addressing another customer*

Me: *finally get how much should be the change* Oh, yes. It's right.

Everytime this difficult phase used to be over, I used to rush back home.

I remember there were times when

-I kept calculating how much should be the change all the way back from the market till home when I was with my mom

-Whenever there was any fast transaction was involved with a complicated twist like my mom didn't have change or gave some coins to get an even number so that she can get a note of 10 or 20, I still kept thinking why the extra coins

-I forgot to take the balance from the store guy assuming that I got the stuff and it's more than enough.

My father used to give me this whole speech on how many classy subjects I'm studying but the airhead that I am still don't know to calculate mentally. And then he used to lecture me on how many schools did the people in the market go to!

Argh. Wait, am I the only one who feels nervous in public? If you have any such stories, please share to make me feel better or else I'd be the dumbest kid on planet earth :|

Gender Differentiation Tips - Anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 07:07:00 +0000

I know this might sound crazy or many of you must have already pictured me as a girl with resources like specs and a bit of brains being totally blind but that's not the case! Umm, sorry. Before I proceed, I must update you with my whereabouts and a bit of explanation for my delay in posts. No? Not interested? Well, I don't care. I'll write it down anyway. Well I'm back home in Dubai. Jeez, never thought I'd say this is my home after how much I cribbed about it before. But yeah this is my home because my parents live here. I'm glad to be back but unfortunately this happiness is going to last for just 3 months. That sucks, ain't it? BTW, I'm here for a reason and not just for having ghar ka khana or doing lukkhagiri. That reason is called ''internship''. Yeah, this is like my 3rd internship. My CV looks funny with a lot of internships and no work experience. Anyways, back to the topic. Now that you all know where I am and why -- let's start with something that totally made me numb yesterday :|

So this is what happened last evening. Alright, so we're in a bus. No, not you all. Me! I was going to catch this bus back home. I missed the earlier bus so I got the crowded bus which came next. Now, here the men and women have divided seating arrangements which is pretty cool because too many perverts get into these buses. Yeah, I know that's scary. So I get into the bus and I see all the ladies' seat being occupied except ONE. Or, atleast that's what I thought. I go up to this guy sitting on a ladies' seat and ask him to move so that I can get a seat. You won't believe what he replied. He replied that: I "AM" a Lady! Special enunciation on AM! I was like scanning him her? him HER upside down once again and then I passed on a nervous laughter.

She: Did you just call me a man?

Me: *still nervous* Erm, no ma'am. I'm sorry I was..

She: *mumbles something in african or some egyptian language*

Me: I'm sorry. I'll just stand.

I was dead sure that she mumbled some abuses to me. Well, why wouldn't she? I just changed her entire gender. Now, I'm no FBI (female body inspector) that I'll go ahead and scan each and every lady who looks like a man but isn't. And it's not my fault either. Not trying to get racist here or anything but she was this African-Egyptian Lady who was bald (that adds to it even more) not wearing any jewellery & was wearing a pant-suit. I was puzzled and embarassed and astonished and throw in some other surprising heart attacky words and you'll get there where I was last evening.

To top it up, I had to stand right in front of her with some other males standing right next to us and I could sense her anger through her fiery dragon breath on my neck. I was sweating like a cow. Wait, cows don't sweat. Like a HORSE! Horse is the word animal.

So I somehow managed to get down at the very next metro and come back home.

Alright so now my parents were laughing their dashes out last night when I narrated them the story. But think about it, it wasn't that funny. I could have been killed. :| Well, what if she was this big huge arab lady with muscles and stuff? Alright, I better close this post before people of certain ethnicities start throwing stones at me.

P.S: No hard feelings to any of my african, egyptian or arabic readers/friends. I love you all very much. But the ladies -- please start wearing make up or an occassional nose ring once in a while just for clearing doubts like these. :|

Getting rid of glasses - not so easy :|

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 08:11:00 +0000

This time I'll tell you the story of why how I got glasses. I remember I was at my elder cousin sister's place, just looking around here and there. In the background, my mom and my cousin were talking about the new pair of glasses she just got. I remember running back and asking her if I can try them on. She asked me not to as it is not great. Back then I did not have glasses and I wanted to be a girl with specs. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY! I always thought they looked pretty cool. Now, I know that only some chics manage to carry them off very well. And I was am definitely not one of them.

Anyways, as I tried on her glasses, I kept looking at the walls and stuff, perhaps even at the wall clock and surprisingly I could see everything a bit clearly. A bit might be lying! I could actually see things clearly. Right there, it was a weird indication that I needed glasses too :s But somehow didn't mention anything to my mother.

After that, I had this test in class and I ended up getting the lowest marks in the entire batch. When my teacher showed me my paper, she pointed out that I had copied the questions wrong!

By that time, my parents were convinced that something's wrong with my eye. No, wait, that was the only time they were convinced :|

Finally, went to the doc -- suggested that I should have gone to him earlier because I'm late and my power has increased.

So this argument started on whether I should try on lenses or glasses. Then my dad and the doc got into a big stupid fight about how lenses are all about marketing and stuff. In the end, I had to get those damn glasses.

In college, I tried getting lenses by performing really well in one sem (yes, that was the condition!). So I did! But by that time I lost the interest in trying them on because it felt very regular. Everyone was using it. So I switched back to glasses.

So you see this lens-glass-lens-glass cycle is kinda irritating. And now my friends tell me that I look better without glasses. Ofcourse, I know I look better without them. It's not like I chose to look stupid. It's a need or else I may end up tripping on the stairs and stuff. Yeah, my eyes do get that blurry :(

But now I've decided that I'll get lenses only when I earn so that my parents don't get to crib about it too. BTW, my friends did suggest me the laser-eye operation thingie and it scared the creep outta me. So yeah, I'm sticking to lenses (for the future). Glasses ( for now ) :|

You'll prolly get to see the before and after shot after I get the lenses. :P

Mom and Dad - This one's for you. :)

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 11:52:00 +0000

I have always been writing about my life and how things are going on with me. For once I want to dedicate a post to my parents -- the ones who always have been providing me with unconditional love no matter what I do or how I am as a person. If they ever stumble upon this blog of mine, they'll hopefully read this post. Let alone the fact that my other posts are going to scare the hell out of them. Ofcourse, they might be surprised that they don't know a lot about me but blogger does and my readers do.

I remember the times when I used to get fed up at home during vacations. I wasn't allowed to hang out with my friends or go out for a party or anything since I was brought up in a typical orthodox family setup. But the best part was that I was used to it and I never cribbed much about it. Infact, I enjoyed staying with my parents. Why? Because I had the internet. I used to masquerade being the nice daughter who used to stay at home all day and not even complain about missing the outside world, but actually I could find everything online which I wanted to see outside my home.

I could find people to talk to.

I could watch online shows (tv series).

I used to create and delete like I don't know what? A thousand accounts or blogs.

I used to play games!

Well, you get the gist.

I do regret those days when I used to be stuck in my room with my door closed just gazing into the screen for something/someone interesting. There were times when my mother used to knock in and ask me to join for lunch/dinner. My dad used to return from the office and I never bothered asking him how his day was. Not that he cared or anything but still..

My mother used to alone all day at home when I had college. My dad used to be in office. I used to dread thinking about how lonely her life is. Since we live abroad, she never had too many friendly neighbors to talk to. Neither could she make any international calls and chat with her relatives for hours. I never cared about how bored she was and inspite of all that she still woke up early in the morning just to make us a nice breakfast and send me and my dad off to a happy day. She still cared.

It hit me one morning when I was standing outside waiting for my college bus to arrive and saw my mother waving at me. She used to wait all day till evening for our arrival.

That day it choked me. I made a promise to myself to always have a talk with her daily no matter how many no. of assignments I have. Always made it a point to join her and watch those sleezy tv serials even when I didn't enjoy it. But it meant a lot to her. I even convinced my father to give her company during dinner time so that we all can have a fight over the remote as to who'll be watching what.

One day she sat me down and told me that those little moments during dinner and while watching the tv together is what she waits for the whole day. It made me cry inside. Made me realize that we were so self involved. But is this how we should treat the mothers who aren't working? Sure they'll find hobbies by themselves but we need to give them time. They are our mothers afterall. :) In the end of my busy busy day, if it wasn't for mom, I'd not be able to plan my next day. She always keeps everything ready. And I have stopped taking her for granted so I go out to help her once in a while.

Now, I'm not with her. I'm doing my masters and my parents are away in a different country. But I make it a point to call them up every week atleast twice. And I even promised my father that I'll return every penny of the phone calls made to them after I start earning but won't give up on keeping in touch. :D
It matters a lot -- not only to my mom or dad but to me too.

Never be too busy to care for your parents.

I am too busy to care, but want to do something. Jaago Re and BlogAdda.com are helping me do my bit for the society.

Let gone. :D

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 08:07:00 +0000

A little of this and that -- here I am with a new blog post at the end of this month. I'm sorry about that but I guess everyone has a reason of getting caught up with work. I've my own reasons too. Wait, I always have reasons! I should get rid of them. Anyways, back to the humble mode -- I'm sorry I've been away. A lot has happened this month too. Thought I'd wanna share it here. :D

Alright so let's start with my life first. It's doing great infact. I'll tell you why -- because I've learnt to forget and let go of the past. I know it took me a LONG time to arrive at this but I had to take some time off to realize it. The last few days were kinda traumatic. Like the usual cancerian crab, I was clinging on to some people. They gave me the hint that they have moved on. Since they are happy, I wanted to be happy for them. But I couldn't be happy.. Somethings still kept pinching me. I kept thinking that how can they be happy without me in their lives. Kinda self involved, ain't I? But then I thought why shouldn't they be happy without me? I've done a lot of wrongs and apparently created a whirlpool in their lives =) so they are better off with their new lives.

And then I had a weird time with my family too. This is the part when it hit me that why do we always try to see what we lost and never focus on what we have. I've been doing this way too long. I'm stupid enough to invest shit loads of time on people who will never be with me, on something that I'll never achieve and take the things/people that I already have for granted. That is when I realized that what I was doing was wrong. Big deal if some people whom I really cared about do not want to be associated to me anymore. I needed to be with the people who really matter the most to me -- my parents. I barely spend time with them. I'll keep getting and losing friends but parents are for a lifetime. So I've decided to not have any suicidal thoughts. Not have any regrets of the past because whatever happens does happen for a reason. I don't know if it happens for the best but I know I'm content :)

Also, I guess god helped me to recall certain incidents from the past which helped me to forget the past because they were so damn cruel. Sure, there were good memories too but I wouldn't wanna trade what I have with me for those evil times.

Yes, letting go is the solution to everything. I've learnt it the hard way. Live and let everyone be happy. If they need you, help them out. If not, leave them alone.

But I will make a few promises to myself

Never to think about giving up -- because a LOT of people care about me and that does not include only my parents.

Smile everyday and live the life that I'm offered because I believe I've a reason ahead

Make new friends and never let them go.

Stop taking people for granted -- specially the ones who care for me and have invested a lot of their time and energy in me.

And to the ones who are gone -- Be happy. It was fun with you but I don't regret losing you anymore. :) So a final Goodbye to you all!

Special thanks to my friend cheeku who made me realize what it is to be strong. I owe you a lot :)

Anger Management! I really need it. :(

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 16:24:00 +0000

This is not something that just came into my mind and I started rambling about it. I really and badly need it. I'm going to ruin all my relationships with people if this doesn't get under control. It makes me do stupid things. Not just stupid, but really really stupid.

I end up blaming my friends for something that I did. Ofcourse, the apology part kicks in later which also has its own self pride thing going on. If I apologize twice and that person doesn't accept it, he/she is dead again.

I feel that lately some kind of evil has struck me. When I was thinking about this for a few minutes of peace, I realized that I wasn't like this till my high school. I used to be this damn helpful person who'd say ''yes'' to anything. And yeah, I WOULD say yes to even cleaning people's toenails and stuff. Yeah, I was that generous.

But then ever since I entered college, I started performing really badly in studies and stuff and it took away the helpful nature within me. Maybe because I used to feel that people wouldn't really ask help from a underperforming student like me. Low self esteem just kicked right in. And it's true, I'd say straight on ''NO(s)" to people who asked for help probably because I knew that I suck at studies anyway -- I can't help :(

This negativity is like a magnet that has stuck onto me. The worst thing now is that I get intimidated to work with people who are a bit alright a lot genius than I am. Wait, I'm not a genius? See! I did it again.

This exact quality in me has struck out all the sensitiveness and sweetness in me :( I am rude to people. I get jealous of people. I also act too insecured thinking that I might lose out on something or everything.

I fight a lot with everyone. I get angry for no reason. I fight with my parents. I fight with my friends. I fight with my dog. Wait, I don't have a dog. She's dead. I fight with myself. I curse myself. I fight with my life. I fight with god. Everything! Funny how I wrote a post on the blame game previously but

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

I need a break. I need to calm down. I need to find myself back. :( I miss her. I miss the old ana. Just wish I could be like that again. Who always wanted to help people and never say no to anything. Also, a little bit of positiveness will help me a lot.

I know I am the wrong one. I am doing all the wrong things. There's got to be a way to get past this. Writing used to help me before but I can go on and on about this -- still won't make a difference.

*butt kicks anger*

I need HELP! :(

Stop playing the blame game!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 09:34:00 +0000

I wanted to apologize for not writing much sense lately. Guess I'm just waiting for things to brighten up. Sometimes it does make me wonder though -- what am I waiting for? This life that we're living might be THE life god wanted me to live. So, I wanna live it everyday without any hopes or expectations in the future.

Doesn't it happen to you whenever something doesn't turn out according to your expectations, you tend to blame anything - life, a dog, a friend, yourself ( I do this a lot), or even ''fate''.

When we talk about fate, destiny or luck, I find all of them to be unfair sometimes. I know many who think they don't even exist.

Luck - People who ALWAYS get their way without even doing anything.

Fate - People do good things but end up facing bad things (You might wanna call it ''karma'' or a base depending on your previous birth). Or, even the other way round - Bad people always always live longer and get to do all the evil things and turn out okay.

Destiny - Finding a soulmate or a partner? Think about it - just because you fall in love with someone in the same country, living in the same proximity as you and also who really cares about you and gets you. doesn't mean he/she is your soulmate. He/she may be one of the perfect partners fr you.One can have the same kind of a person in many other countries. But you won't really travel around the world to go hunt them, would you? Or, rather wait for them to come to you? Before calling someone your soulmate, think about this.

Last, but not the least, when we talk about Life -- I don't understand how life plays a part in destroying something you wanted. We are living life not using it. It's just easy to blame life like blaming god -- we can't see it.

Just stop blaming life, fate, destiny, luck, yourself, god blah blah blah!

I'm not saying that we should blame ourselves or try to blame any of those terms which we don't even know if they exist. But I think we should have a look at what we do so that we get to be aware of the consequences later.

Let's face it -- everyone's a sinner. A sin can be big or small. Even killing an ant is a sin. Killing 1000 ants would count as a bigger sin. What we do in our everyday life counts every moment! If anything bad is happening to us, there's a reason why it does. Even if you try to be a total angel all your life and end up losing someone or getting betrayed, rollback and try to see what did you to whom or if you did any wrongs. It's not possible that you didn't commit any err.

Also, on the bright side -- if anything good is happening, it means you've done something to deserve it. Even if it means to saving an ant. (Yes, I know the ant example is very very stupid but it counts, you know).

And no there's nothing such as less good and more of bad. We may involuntarily commit more sins than good deeds. Exactly how the ratio of incidents shape up in our life.

Let's just stop with the blame game and start accepting our faults and move on with a positive spirit. If not today, you'll definitely be rewarded tomorrow. I know waiting is a pain but doing things without any expectations lets you do things without any constraints. That way you get to do good deeds more than committing sins.

The famous quotes state so too

Live like it's the last day of your life.

Love like you've never loved before

And finally - Love yourself. Not because it'll make you feel better or you're the best or anything but because many people love you to the core and you need to respect their feelings and make them feel special too sometimes. By loving yourself, you'll be happy and you get to see them happy too.

P.S - If this turned out to be a damn boring post, I don't care. This is my blog and my aim is to make you think!

Imperfectly Perfect

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 18:52:00 +0000

Hey all! It's been a while since I wrote something here. Yeah, I know I keep shifting between wordpress and blogger but I missed this template real badly so I just shifted back. There's something weird about this template! It gives me the feel to blog while the others don't. Anyway, enough about templates :|

I've been experiencing this weird thing about myself lately. Don't know if it happens to you guys too but I feel that there are a lot of imperfections within me which according to my friend is the new ''perfect''. Now that's kinda stupid, don't you think? If it's imperfect, it's imperfect! As simple as it is. How can imperfect be perfect? It's like calling ugly the new ''beautiful'' or stupid the new ''amazing''.

Whatever the case is -- I just got to thinking that let's rule out ''imperfections'' for the moment and focus on ''perfect''. What according to you is being perfect? Wait, I get to ask you the questions in the end. First, my take on this. I asked a friend about the perfect girl and according to him this is how the conversation went on

Me: So what kind of a girl are you looking for?

He: She's gotta be perfect.

Me: Yeah, okay! So does a lot of people. Define ''perfect''

He: She has to be beautiful, smart, talented, a great cook, good with the words, communicate fluently, be understanding, have the ability to carry herself well and...

Me: So basically everything.

He: Umm, yeah pretty much

Me: You do realize that's not gonna happen, right? Either way one of the other factors will be missing of conflicting with the other.

He: Yeah, I know

Me: So you do know she does not exist, right?

He: Yup, I know that.

Me: Then why are we having this conversation?

He: 'Cuz you asked me what kinda girl I wanted

Me: Gee.. so?

He: So just because I want it doesn't mean it err she has to exist. Not all wants need to be fulfilled or exist in reality. I know what I want and what I will get will have a major difference.

Me: :| Took you that long to realize that, eh?

Anyway, I realized this conversation was baseless so I switched on to asking a girl about the perfect guy. Again, I interviewed a friend and this is how this talk went --

Me: Alright, I know you want a perfect guy so go ahead and tell me the qualities you want in him

She: Whoa whoa whoa, perfect guy?

Me: Well, yeah. Everybody wants a perfect partner

She: What's the point of wanting a perfect partner when I know I won't get one?

Me: Well, it doesn't hurt to ''hope'', you know.

She: Nevermind. I never wanted a perfect guy but yeah a perfect guy would be someone who's handsome and also kinda cute, someone who understands me, someone who is concerned and caring and doesn't act like a jerk and..

Me: Yeah, all right. Again with the looks and the entire package deal.

She: I'm sorry honey but looks does count in perfect.

Now, you'd enjoy this. This is a fact that good looking people look out for or tend to fall for people who are average joe looking so that they don't feel insecured or feel that their thunder is being stolen away. And the best part is if both are good looking, ego clashes are bound to happen.

This doesn't apply only to looks -- even when it comes to skill-sets and other talents -- one always gels well with a less or a higher skilled partner so that the dominating factor doesn't kick in.

BTW, I just realized that this became way too much of a relationship post. What I'm trying to say is that what you have is already perfect. Don't try to make it more perfect which is the new "imperfect". Vice versa also helps. Yeah, sometimes you miss those imperfections and perfection can just bite you in the dash.

Wardrobe Dilemmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 06:05:00 +0000

It's 2011 right? The year has worn new clothes. So should this blog, right? But iThoughts has been painfully taking a lot of time in fitting into an outfit that really suits it. I've spent hours and hours on this and I must say that it's an interesting task. Bring on the templates and my mind goes ''whoosh!''. I've been spending way too much time on choosing an attractive template rather than focusing more on the content which is totally blank btw. Yeah, sad crap counts as blank!

Then I realized something that we ''girls'' tend to focus too much on the dress rather on what's inside. No offence to the females including me but it's true. I don't know if it's a generalized or a biased opinion that I'm having but I've seen most of the guys going just for the content and not paying much heed to the way their blog looks. They just want the stuff! Err :| I mean they just use the blog for writing and not for showing it off. While we are too into the looks and the widgets and the gadgets and all the blogorama <3

Did I talk too much about boys, girls and blogs already? I'm sorry I'll stop!

The hunt is still on. If anyone can gimme some nice suggestions, that'd be great. You can write a guest post on iThoughts =D

Later! <3

Switching modes.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 18:55:00 +0000

A very happy new year to all of you. When I say all, I mean the few number of closed ones and a lot of strangers visiting this site.

Last year has been on and off for me. It has been a weirdly changing wave in my life. I experienced the best and the worst. Never explored life like the way I did it last year. Frankly, I learned a lot.

Right now the few most important things in my life that I want to do or rather focus on -

the people I love - my parents, my best friends and myself (yes! Is that surprising?)

be positive and pray for better things

focus on my health (I really have to do this)

never let the negative in me spread around because it brings down people who are close to me

GROW UP!

Start earning - Yeah, I have to. :(

Not kill the ''hope'' in me that everything happens for a reason. For the better or worse? Let god decide.

Seeyah till I come up with more stuff.

Numbness

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 19:06:00 +0000

The worst punishment is when you know that someone you really care about does not have much time and there's nothing you can do about it.

Even more worse - that person wants you out of their lives.

Much much worse - that person misunderstands you and has bittermost feelings about you in their hearts.

I'm sentenced for life. I really hope god takes me instead of that person.