iThoughts

Everything is momentary

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 04:10:00 +0000

The feeling of nostalgia doesn't really let go of things that I'm close to. It feels like just yesterday when I came to Pune for university studies and it's all over now. This was like one of those *poof* moments when everything is over in a jiffy.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks..My heart's kinda numb...My eyes are...Wait a second! I'm not insane. None of those things are happening to me. Well, it did a few days ago but now I'm living in a bubble of fear. Eventually, this fear is going to eat me up because I'm letting it sink in. Trying to find something that actually stays with me forever is like an impossible task. The problem lies with me. I'm letting go of things so easily that I end up blaming the things which are gone. This taken for granted attitude has got to stop.

If things like friendship, love, phases, life, people, jobs and even cute pets - are all temporary then there's nothing to fear right? Because I know all of it is going to end someday. I might as well enjoy every moment.

The bad times are temporary - great! Hence, look forward to the good ones.

The good times are temporary - so live these times like you've lived never before.

I can only preach myself till the extent I want to be preached. Truth is I haven't even started preaching myself.

Now, don't feel sorry or miserable for me. I'll bounce back someday.

Get your presentation skills right

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:32:00 +0000

No, really! This one was coming anyway from my end. I figured I'm doing an MBA so I might as well learn and at-least let others know what are the ''Do's and Don't s" while making, giving your presentation. Alright, let's just do the Don't s because nobody likes to hear what one should do. It's like the time in F.R.I.E.N.D.S when Rachel yells at her Sister Jill:

Jill: Don't tell me what I should do

Rachel: I'm not telling you what to do, I'm telling you what NOT to do.

Whew, I know I can't get over that soap but let's get back to the point. A few basic pointers where people go wrong and I've seen this over and over again and today it just hit me that I wanted to take a big ball of stone and hit someone. I'll calm down but before I do, let me just get it out of my system.

Does anyone understand the significance of bullet points? I mean not ACTUAL bullet points, you know. They're supposed to be key ~~pointers~~ words that'll help you remember the rest of the what you're going to speak to the audience.

Oh, btw, there's a set of creatures called the ''Audience''. You need to look at them while presenting. No no, they would not want to see your butt, your side-pose, your ~~hairy~~ arms, your hair or anything else. All they would like to see is your face. Yes, remember face and if they aren't paying attention, it's probably you aren't as pretty or peaceful to look at. I'm just kidding about that bit but face the audience while you deliver your presentation. By deliver, I do not mean walk into the podium like a postman, deliver the mail and run! Deliver slowly and gradually by making all your point very valid and understandable. Let me be honest with you: I am horrible at delivering a good presentation. In fact, I am worse than a postman. At least, the postman comes and stays with you for a while, takes your signature and all. I probably would deliver my presentation in a jiffy and leave. Did I confuse you guys with the postman and the presentation too much? Fine, sorry. The bottom line is to never rush through the points but speak clearly.

When I talk about speaking here, I mean speak and not over-emphasize every point or try to pull each word like a strand of rubber till the point it breaks. Don't be so slow in delivering your speech that you make the audience as well the mentor who is assessing go off to a snoring ride. Be crisp but not as crisp as the bullet points on your slides. If you just plain read what your slide ~~speaks~~ has in it, you're just trying to insult the audience by depicting that they're blind and that they wanna hear what's on the slide. Bring out your own points.

Can people please please please avoid theories on their slides? It's high time that one realizes that slides are meant to be more of a guide to help you out when you're speaking so that you don't stammer or pull on a lot of ''Oh, Umms and Aahs". Who the heck would wanna read an entire piece of theoretical paragraph on the slide? You can try that if you think your face is that uninteresting to look at, divert the audience to the slides. I mean if that's your agenda but the key to a good presentation is to make people see your face and hear what you're speaking (and not any rubbish).

And also, make sure what you speak does match with what's on your slide behind you. Yes, it is embarassing when there's a donkey posing on the slide and you're busy talking about cats. Or worse, you bring out an elephant when there's absolutely no sign of that giant on your slide. To some level, it's acceptable that you talk about some stuff which is not present on your slide but going overboard is just plain stupid. A small reference would help.

Watch the time! - Yes people, you do not have all the time in the world to deliver what you wanted to present. For that maybe you should really pay the audience to listen to you because trust me listening skills don't come for free after a while. With mothers, it's a different story but not with people who're trying to present on a topic that has been probably been presented on many-a-times before.

Voice modulation - It really helps a lot of people. I think that's the key to a good speaker too. But who said you've to be the best? Just be audible. When I mean audible, I don't mean to yourself, I meant ''be audible to your audience''. Don't scream because you may wanna buy them hearing aids and that's not a very good deal. Don't be too subtle -- it never helps! Don't be afraid of being heard. Relax, they won't kill you. They probably are just as dumb as you are. (this was just to make you feel better)

Did I miss out anything? If I did, pardon me. I'm human too, hence, I tend to forget every though that gets recollected in this teeny tiny brain of mine. I won't lie to you all but I make most of the blunders I've written above but I'm trying my best to improve. I suggest everyone starts doing the same or else someday the reason of people getting fired from their job would be just an embarassing boring presentation excuse. Now, you wouldn't want that on your recommendation letter stating ''Good player, Bad speaker'', do you?

I blabber but I too get bored

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 17:13:00 +0000

Well, since my last post had done a lot of bashing on the toppers and the people who love to study, I figured I bash myself up a bit this time. It's not so much of a self-criticism per se but more on the lines of wanting-to-improve-but-failing-big-time! I blabber a lot. My ~~friends~~ listeners, parents have complained a lot on this habit of mine. I'm an excellent listener to a stranger and exactly the opposite to someone I know very well. Now, you know the trick to getting the listening side from me - Don't get too acquainted with me. Before I go on to explain how much I blabber, some of you must be out there trying to prototype me into being a ''girl''. Yeah, I know you must be going on like, "You're a girl! Of course, you'll blabber a lot." It's almost as corny as the ''99% sound and 1% sense" joke. To be honest, that one did hurt but I'm glad we girls inspire people to come up with such creative jokes at times. Anyways, don't wanna divert from the topic.

Oh yes, I've been literally asked to shush by almost everyone? Yes, everyone. I mean I remember even a KID asked me to shut the hell up once upon a time. Yes yes, I believe I was that annoying. It's not the annoyance so much but more of the constant ''BLAH" material that I throw upon people! I don't ask questions. I don't answer them either. I just don't let others speak when I'm around. I remember ~~I was trying to~~ a friend was trying to have a conversation with me about Samosas. Let's call her 'L'. I don't want to take her name here because she might come down here and actually bring out my other bad habits. But today is just about my Blabbering.

L: Hey, you know I had some amazing Samosas in Bombay. I think they use some secret ingredient in their fillings or..

Me: I know! I know. I mean they top it off with green chutney! And the best part is that they put yummy aloo ki sabzi (cooked potato fillings) inside it. In calcutta, they put peas, carrots and almost all kinds of vegetables.

L: Wow, really? That must be..

Me: Yeah yeah, it's disgusting. I mean to think of it, I actually love food in calcutta but the samosas and the fillings.. Argh and *insert a lot of blah-ing about samosas*

*it's been over 5 minutes*

Somehow, I've been talking about food and all the other kinds of food dishes in Calcutta and there's no stopping me and I fail to notice that L has gone silent all this while.

Me: Oops, did I speak too much?

L: Nah, it's.. I'm used to it.

Me: So, what were you saying?

L: I don't even remember.

Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

Now, the challenge here is that I'll make an excellent talkative moron and probably the worst person at a debate. And I have made many girls ''shut up'' just because of me talking my dash out. Don't even bother asking the guys what I do to them. They're just too nice to listen to me because of the whole ''respect-her-because-she's-a-~~girl~~ (or creature, if I may?). I guess my talkative nature is very reflective in my posts too. :|

The secret to shut me up is to offer me a nice dish once in a while or some candies maybe. What? You think it's easy to just blah nonsense forever? Some people find it entertaining and cheer up because of my crap.

The Topper Syndrome

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:05:00 +0000

Relax, I'm not a topper. I'm glad I'm not. You wanna know why? There are some crazy species out there. They know what their ~~ultimate~~ penultimate aim is and they work towards it. Well, these people are the reason why you see yourself far away from the top 10, top 50 or worse top 100 in the list of best students or why you get that horrible yelling from your mother and you end up having an hour argument defending yourself and explaining as to why you cannot be compared to the ~~coolest~~ lamest topper kid in your class. They are also the reason why your open house days in school always sucked grease. They can be also blamed for your very fluctuating or let me call the famous ''CGPA" performance. Don't be disheartened. There are millions who fear them. I'll classify them in some categories that I've visualized the most in my life.

The Hard Workers - Oh, come on now. Did you really think I wouldn't give you guys some respect? I respect you. I respect you a lot. In fact, I respect you till the point that I fail to respect you and find it difficult to believe that how do you manage to achieve such amazing performance in all your academics. You guys are the same who get interviewed by the media sometimes whenever you achieve the state or the city or the country champion award. To be honest that interview freaks me out. There's a mention of ''no lights'', ''no food'', ''no coaching/guide/tuitions'', ''no resources/books'', ''no money'' and sometimes ''no stationery items''. I'm not mocking you guys. I'm just saying that the motivation you guys get to study and reach the top position by hook or by crook is what is ...I don't know what. What pisses me off is you guys already win the first rank and after that the whole sympathetic story that goes on -- like we're supposed to feel bad for you that you went through all that hell. Why does every ranker have some or the other sad story out there? Is it not possible to get a good rank even if you come from a well-to-do family and have absolutely no hurdles at all? I believe it is the brain at work and not the other issues that leads you to the topmost position. Oh wait, you had a troublesome maid maybe? Nice try of using such stories to win a scholarship. It doesn't work forever though.

Well, I guess then the saying of "Every winner has a tragedy behind it'' must be true.

Exception - Some of you are geniuses. You automatically have the best-brains and understand a concept in a minute. Yeah, I envy you guys. It's like what some people would like to call? A gift from birth. Wow, I must say that's the best of deals. Or, is it?

The Vomiting Birds - Let me talk to you guys for a second. No offense but do you NOT have brains? I mean it must be pretty challenging and remembering every single ~~sentence~~ word exactly the way it is written or depicted in the books/notes. I know some of you even remember the page numbers just in case by creating a photographic memory of the references in your mind. It's like creating a virtual notebook in your head. It stays only till the exam. One question regarding what you studied after the exam and you act like an Alzheimer's bird. What's that about? Of course, it helps in getting the output -- MARKS!

The All Rounder Freaks - You guys wanna be good at everything. When I mean everything, I mean everything. Topping in everything -- right from maintaining a good body to being a good sports person to being an amazing artist to being a great academician to being a great what-not. Sometimes, you forget the part of being a good friend. Well, if you do, you would have to compromise and let your friends win sometimes too and you're not going to let that happen eh?

The Hidden Miracles - Yes yes, I'll call you guys miracles because you guys just HAPPEN to get good marks after acting all normal like the other students. I can count multiple things here.

Yes, you lie when you say you haven't started studying

Yes, you lie when you say you haven't understood anything

Yes, you lie when you say your paper went bad. -- like seriously?!

Yes, you lie when you say you don't know squat on the day of the exam

Dude, we know you're studying your dash out at nights or during the day or whenever you find any free time. Probably, in the washrooms too. Although, that's a little crazy. And to top it all, when the results come out, you act like it's some sort of a miracle that just happened. What's crazy is this miracle happens only to you guys over and over again. If asked genuinely, you guys respond by calling it a ''mistake''. I gotta tell you -- that's a well planned mistake.

The TMI birds - You always have to occupy or surround yourself with too much information. If we have one book assigned to us, you have to get hold of every reference book that leads to the subject. Be it a magazine, a website, a journal, a blog, a video -- the maximum resources possible. You call it the knowledge gain? I call it plain crap. It's just another way to manipulate and add extra dump in your exam paper to play around with the examiner's head. The concept of ''the more the better'' - it actually works with a lot of examiners. But there's always going to be a debate about quality vs quantity.

Yes, I know bashed you all a lot and we can do all these things too to get good marks. I don't need marks. Well, to be honest, I'm too lazy to do all these things that you guys do. :|

P.S: I do respect those people who get good marks and never brag about it or how difficult it was for them to get in and help others to score better as well.

Blame the bed, not me.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:19:00 +0000

That evil wide long thing standing on four legs with a delicate mattress resting on it and some incredibly soft pillow calls out to me, "Get back here you! You know you need me."

Let me be honest. I'd probably not spend SO much time with even my special someone as much as I spend on my bed. And there's no this bed or that bed or my bed. When I see a bed, I know it's time to sleep. In fact, I even sit on it and study because it's just easier to go to sleep when I get bored of books which happens all the time.Not to mention the time when I'm already in my bed but I don't feel like sleeping. Whether I'm asleep or not, it doesn't matter! The amount of lethargic air that my bed pumps into me is what makes me so lazy.

Lazy is very undefined there. Let me define it for you.

Too lazy to get up and switch off the fan when I'm freezing cold.
Too lazy to get up and actually put the covers back on me when they're lying around my feet. I almost do kung fu on my bed just to kick back those covers on me.
Too lazy to go to the washroom --> This one's pretty famous with everyone, I guess? Hence, the bad habit of not drinking water before hitting the bed even though I make everyone hear that suggestion from me everytime.
Too lazy to get up and search for the water bottle when thirsty
Too lazy to even look at the phone sometimes (when there's a message or a call alert)
Too lazy to look at the time.
Too lazy to turn off the alarm. It's just easier to slap all over my pillow and search frantically for the goddamn phone.
Too lazy to get up from bed :| (Exception: Winter mornings. I won't blame my bed. I myself don't feel like getting up then.)

I've a bad feeling I'm falling asleep because I'm sitting on my bed and typing out this post.

So, if you think I'm lazy, it's not my fault. Blame the bed!
P.S: Even a comfortable couch is a culprit. Actually, any place with a seat. Alright alright, I love sleep! :|

Bold & Upfront

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:52:00 +0000

When I started blogging, I was going through a hazy phase of my life. I was disconnected from almost everyone I knew and I was isolated. It did work as a therapy for me. But this was two years ago. A lot has changed since then. You can get a hint of those two years if you go through my Old Blog. The sad part since then is that everything and everyone I knew has changed. Changed is like an understatement but life has moved on and given everyone a fresh new start. I thought I was left out but I wasn't. This is where we fail to realize that not only other things change but we change with time too. I changed too and I realized that when I started seeing the change in others. I started blaming them, making false assumptions, got depressed and blamed myself a lot of times because honestly...Who the hell likes change? Unless, it's a pretty dress or a new dish or a new game. Well, let's not get into that. When it comes to the critical elements in life -- the change in those seems very challenging at first but eventually everyone learns to roll on with it with time. I don't know if I have moved on yet from whatever happened in the past but I surely know that knowing the change in others, I'm slowly getting the motivation to forget and move on.

Friends, know this that nobody is a better doctor for you than you are. Not even time. Time can probably heal you but it will still remind you of the other happier times and memories that were fond of or even disliked. But when it comes to you, only you know what you want and whether you want to forget it or brood over it. Before I go all you-ing and finger pointing again, I wanna tell you about myself. I have started to accept those changes. It wasn't easy but I have. Sometimes, it gets a little challenging knowing that you'll be reminded of the past but I've learnt to not let that affect me anymore. The sooner everyone does that, the better for them. The phrase ''Ignorance is bliss'' is indeed a true statement. If not in the short run, one will realize it in the long run.

Let's not regret anything that has been lost or has happened in the past and look to a better change. How can we make the world a better place? By putting a GIANT smile! So, let's SMILE! Allow everyone else to smile. It's contagious ;)

On a rhyming note

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 09:43:00 +0000

I loved you
Then I lied to you
About time and other things too
Dawn of the realization came upon me
A little late than never to be
Made me see the reality
That I actually missed you
I shouldn't have lied to you
Doesn't matter what has faded away
It's high time to kick away
Cheers to the same old life
With a sparkle similar to the shiny knife
And here I am waiting to scribble again
On only you and forever... AMEN!

Shoo-ing away awkwardness

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:20:00 +0000

You ever had that feeling of being in an elevator and feeling awkward about that silence that dawns upon you till your floor comes? Well, I always get it. It's weird and I know there's nothing I can do about it. I can't speed up the elevator to reach the damn floor. I just have to stand there and bear the silence with a bunch of strangers and wait till my floor shows up. Now, my life had become that elevator. Everything was silent. Everyone was a stranger. Popping up weird questions like "How's your pet rabbit?" made things worse. What made things easier? Be okay with everything that's going on. In fact, the more I apply my head into things, the complicated it gets. My nature doesn't give up. It works too hard on finding out the details of all the What(s), Why(s), How(s). I had to let them go. Well, do I feel better? Of course. Is this what I wanted? Maybe not but my brain gets less tired. Be happy for that!

From now on, the gossip town of all the troubles will come to an end. It'd probably range from conversations like, "Remind me why did we NOT talk for so many days again?" to "Hey, what's new with you man?"

Alright, fine, they weren't exactly ''gossipy'' kinds but you know what I mean. Never bother much with the details and just move on. Or, in short, be like a ''guy''. :P Okay, I hope I don't get stones thrown at me by boys for this.

Keep smiling. I'll try to write a lot more.

There's always a first

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 04:32:00 +0000

First time of everything seems weird but can be pretty exciting as it counts to be a new experience. Yup, you can say that it has been happening with me a lot lately. Just yesterday I celebrated Diwali in my college campus for the first time away from home. I thought it'd be awkward but watching all the firecrackers and bombs light up the sky was the greatest feeling ever. It's a thing about India - no matter wherever you are, you always get to celebrate the joys of every festive season with people around you.

Hope you all had a great Diwali! God bless us all. :)

Judge yourself instead of being judged by others

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 16:20:00 +0000

I hate it when that happens. When I'm serious, people ask me to stop taking tension and be cool. When I actually play it cool, people ask me to grow up and be serious in life. Lesson? People always talk but you do what you wanna do!

Sounds kinda brutally stupid, doesn't it? I say if you wanna break that gate of your pathetic neighbors, go do it. If you really wanna go tell your ex girlfriend that she's with a wimp, go tell her. Why think of consequences then? What's the worst thing that can happen? People would consider you rude or a horrible person? Well, big surprise, they'd consider that you are one ten or twenty years down the line anyway. All it will take is one stupid action from your side. That's gonna be the day when they'll forget all the good deeds you've done. Hence, screw the Mr. Goody Shoes in you and do what you want. It's a short life and you may end up being someone else just for pleasing others instead of being yourself and that's just plain stupid. Sure, a little bit of adjustment here and there to accommodate people in your life is always better but don'\t overdo it. Don't be completely ignoring the innate yourself just so that others like you better. If they cannot deal with who you are or how are you then screw them. It's better to survive alone than to survive with people constantly judging you or telling you what you should be and what you shouldn't be.

Honestly, you know the best what you are doing or the kind of person you are. I mean c'mon, don't tell me that you do something horribly wrong and think you did a great job. It may not be a quick realization sometimes but you do learn it eventually, don't you? So why wait for others to tell you or let them change you beforehand? Be your own boss.

Look at dogs for a minute. Let's take a bloody second and look at dogs! Now, what's wrong with them? Nothing. They go lick everybody. They go growl at every person. They are happy with a bone and they don't care if a big fat alligator or a baby threw the bone at them. What I'm trying to say is if dogs can be themselves and what they are then so should humans. They don't change their characteristics or nature. All they do is adjust themselves around us. How? Adjust themselves with the food we provide them. Adjust themselves with the crappy names we give them. Adjust themselves with the priority we give them. They get sad too. They are unable to express it and that's why we take them for granted. Does that mean they care such a great deal about it? They forget it the very next moment they see you and come and lick your face off!

So for the sake of hecks, care but don't overdo it because you'll be termed as a dinkus in the end or treated like dog-shit someday. Don't forget yourself or who you are. It's just not worth anyone in this world.

I posted some crap after a long time because I was frustrated with myself and not with this blog or life in general. Can't I rant? I don't care if you guys think I'm too whiny. That's how I am. But I do care that you guys care to read this space.

My 50th post.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 05:38:00 +0000

I wanna thank everyone who kept reading this space even when it was damn irritating.

Thanks to my precious fans too who took the pain to follow me!

You all get a big hug from me on my 23rd birthday.

LOVE YOU ALL! <3

The Impossible Gift Idea

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 05:56:00 +0000

What's more heartbreaking? When a person breaks your heart or a person dismisses your gift that you've spent months on trying to make it perfect? Duh! The latter one. Imagine to have to live through that moment of guilt and anger till the person is done talking ill about your gift.

Let's take Jack and Jennie for example here. Now, Jack spent months trying to get Jennie the perfect gift. What did he get her? A custom made barbie doll that says ''I love you, Jennie'' in its own colorful ways.

Jack: So didja like it?

Jennie: Mmm. Uh hmm. Mm.

Jack: Hehe, err what's wrong?

Jennie: No, I loved it. I mean who won't like a doll that says your name, I mean..

Jack: *has a puzzled look on his face*

Jennie: I mean who wouldn't like to see a barbie say your name! I mean this is exciting, I mean..

Jack: Erm, honey?

Jennie: Yeah?

Jack: You know the old classics like "It's a really nice gift'' is still OKAY!

Jennie: Yeah, I know. But nice would just mean nice. I wanna say that it's nicer, you know. I wanna say..

So this went on. Finally, Jack understood that she didn't like the gift and Jennie came out with the truth that it's a lame gift.

The challenge is to decide the perfect gift by not putting much thought into and just come up with a random idea. Here's the part which gets tricky! Now, there are SOME people who already own everything. Let's take a ''guy'' for example. He'd always give you the I-already-have-a-watch thing on your face, you know. Whereas, it's always always easier to get a girl chocolates. You get her a pack of Cad bury and she'd go crazy on them. Gifts that are consumable are easier than the gifts that'd make a permanent stay in one's lives.

Let's take my dad for example. I mean now that I'm getting a nice stipend, I thought it'd a great idea to get my parents some nice gifts first, you know before I go around spending it on myself or my favorite dogs across the street. The conversation never goes well with my father. My mother is easily convinced. She'd take anything I wanna get her but dad...

Me: Dad! Dad! How about I get you a coat?

Dad: No, thanks. I already got one.

Me: Oh...Then how about a nice watch?

Dad: I've a watch that's working for 15 years. (there comes the stats. 15 years of watch experience, 10 years of shoe experience and what not)

Me: Ohh-kay! How about I get you a nice pair of Ray Ban eh?

Dad: I already got a better brand of the Police.

Me: What about shirts? Let me buy you a shirt and trouser set?

Dad: Got too many of them, dear.

Me: *I get mad obviously* Alright, so let me get this straight. You already have everything that I'm willing to afford within my reach. So there is absolutely nothing that I can buy you?

Dad: Oh well, I don't know..

Me: How about I get you a nice dinner?

Dad: You mean if you cook yourself? Sure.

See? That's the key. Consumable gifts!

Now that I think about it I never cared about the idea behind the gift. I don't want a huge building with diamonds on it. You get me a pair of earrings and I am happy. You get me some chocolates and I am happy. And I'll never give you the - I've had chocolates for 10 years (stats) ! I'm speaking for myself here because I've known both girls and guys who give each other a hard time regarding gifts. So the key here is to get something that can be finished within minutes and cannot be said no to (irresistible)

Couple of pointers -

Food

Food again.

Movie Tickets

Oprah Tickets

Lottery Tickets (alright, this one's lame)

Take a Trip together!

And if you're thinking of something that'd be a permanent gift then get a picture of that person's family members including that person in it and get it photo-framed! What? Family's gonna stay forever!

Family Anecdotes

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:01:00 +0000

Scene: Morning call for breakfast at home
Mom: There's bread and peanut butter
Me: Noooo
Mom: There's puffed rice and some snacks
Me: Noooo
Mom: There's corn flakes
Me: Chocolate flavoured?
Mom: Umm, no normal ones
Me: Then, noooo
Mom: Alright, that's all we have at home
Me: Nooo
Dad: *as he passes by my room* You know people who miss breakfast grow fat
*I rush to the kitchen as soon as I hear that*
Mom to Dad: How do you manage to do that?
Dad: You gotta pick your battles.

Scene: Me and my dad are watching some bollywood song dance
Me: Oh, good. Another song in the middle of the movie. Exactly why I prefer english movies
Dad: I always thought the junior artists are cuter than the main artist.

Scene: Deciding what's gonna be for dinner.
Me: I want a gravy dish.
Dad: I want a curry dish.
Mom: So, what should I make?
Me: GRAVY!
Dad: CURRY!!
Mom: Aaand curry it is.
Me: Why do I always forget in an argument that you'd take your husband's side!

Scene: Venting on life.
Me: I want some freedom! I am not 16 anymore. Why can't I just go out and get some fresh air?!
Dad: There's a park right by our building.
Me: That's great :D *I hurry to go get dressed*
Mom: Honey, on the way back, could you please get some peas and onions, a jar of mustard and..
Me: *I glare at mom* AND?
Mom: Umm, and a can of mushrooms? *grins at me*

Scene: Having dinner at home.
Me: *halfway through dinner* Argh! Why can't we order KFC or McD or some nice chinese?
Dad: *while eating* Because by the time they reach, the food becomes cold.
Me: Then why don't we go and eat outside?
Dad: In this weather and traffic? Are you kidding?
Me: When you didn't have a car, that used to be your excuse. Now, you have a car and the weather is your excuse?
Dad: I never said I'm buying a car for a hunger ride. *keeps munching*
Me: Then why'd you buy a car if we can't go outside at all?
Dad: Honey, it's for official err office purpose.
Me: :|

Scene: Dad talking on the phone.
Dad: Alright, peter. Will see you in the office and talk about it tomorrow.
Dad: *about to hang up* Hmm. Mmmm. Alright. Alright
Dad: *listens to some more* Okay. Okay. Bye!
Dad: *responds to another query* Well, we'll talk tomorrow on this.
Dad: *finally hanging up* Ooookay. BYE!
Mom to Dad: Perhaps you should wait till the other person finishes before you hang up.
Dad: That's the only way to let the other person finish ASAP!

Scene: A normal discussion
Me: Hey, you guys, why am I the only child?
Dad: It's hot! I better go take a shower. *rushes to the bathroom*
Mom: I've got something on the oven. Lemme check.
Me: *to myself* Ask a question just to shoo them away. :|

We all have a crazy family. It's the craziness that makes it fun, innit?

A letter to me from my childhood.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:46:00 +0000

Dear Anamika,

First of all, I'd like to say ''Hahahahahahahahahaha!". Confused? Well, you know you're a big dinkus, right? You should know that. Great job growing up by the way. And why on earth do you make people call you ''Ana''. I remember when you were little people used to call you Anamika or Mona. I mean what's wrong with that now? Both are really good names. Stop being such a wannabe and trying to fit in better.

And what's with all the emotional crap? Remember that things are simple. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Why do you have to go out of your way to impress or depress someone just because you think it's the ''right'' thing to do. BTW, we also need to talk about right and wrong. Let me tell you that life is the same as it was back when you were little. It's you who has changed. It's you who made all the choices. If you made a booboo, then suffer! Why cry about it?

I looked much prettier than you too. I don't know what you eat or sulk yourself into. Look at your hair! Mine was so much better. People even adored me. Nobody tried to give me all the lifelong advise. I was a good girl and most importantly a naive girl. Why are you such a cunning little masquerading pest?

On the parents thing - since when did mom and dad become hell for you? No, answer me. When you were little, they protected you from all those evil neighbours and that big dood with a bat who was coming to hit you or the rich girl who made you cry with all her pride. They love you and they don't keep 10000 conditions before you. It's not like they asked you to clean the dishes or make the bed everyday. You were the sweet little princess and you owe them for that by not cribbing 24/7.

Freedom, my ass! What freedom are you talking about? Going out and meeting your friends and having a lovely time with them? Well, I did it too and they never stopped me. What's stopping you? Only that I never returned after 11 or 12. I came home back at 8. Alright, I grant you 2 more hours. Come back home by 10! I bet they'll not stop you from meeting your friends.Well, I never made friends with strangers. If you do and don't tell your parents about it, I guess that answers why your freedom was snatched away from you.

For god's sake, exercise, woman! I used to ride the cycle everyday! I used to go running. Heck, I even fell into the gutter while playing hide and seek with my friends. Remember how my hands used to pain after playing badminton for long hours with my best bud? What happened to you? Sitting at home, staring in front of the screen, hooked on to your stupid Facebook! I managed to survive without social networks. I made friends in real life. Why can't you?

I'm a lot jealous of you. I didn't have many things which you have today and still I was happier than you are today.

I could never make my legs reach the ground and the waiters had to get me extra cushions for me to reach the table at the restaurant. Do you remember how embarassing that was for me? You don't have to deal with that now.

My cousins used to make a fool out of me asking to me to pray from Santa till I realized he doesn't exist. You don't have to wait up all night waiting for the fat round man to bring you apparent gifts.

My parents banned me from taking to a movie because it was an adult film. I stayed home with granny having coconut cookies and staring at the sky, cursing my parents to the core! You don't have that obligation. You don't get to curse your parents for not taking you an adult movie because you CAN go for it. Oh, wait. They never took you? Why would they? You're a sad wuss.

I could never wear jeans or write with pens or wear nail paints to school! You can do those things.

I couldn't watch the late night cartoon shows because it was past my bedtime! You can watch more than late night cartoon shows if you know what I mean!

Hence, for once stop trying to think that you're a loser because you achieved all those things which I could never achieve! These teeny tiny achievements -- they count missy!

And what's with all the heartbreaking story? If you love someone, stick with that person. You don't have to be in love with 10-12 guys and then choose. What do you think this is? The princebowl for the princess? Just love and be loved. Be free like me! Be cute like me!

Most importantly, don't kill me. Trust me, you need me. Not only for my great ideas, but for giving you a constant reminder that you've won many battles!

Now, go blog this out to the world. See? I couldn't even blog back then! DARN YOU! Lucky rat!

Love,

Your sweet little yourself

*evil grin*

Don't sell your thoughts!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:49:00 +0000

Go ahead. Judge me all you want! I never liked the idea of having blog contests worth insert-some-price-here bucks. If you want money, then let's do something meaningful with it or for it. Like cleaning the roads of our neighborhood or buying some medicines for the stray dogs who've been wounded for years or feed the hungry and the poor.

But writing some cooked up story or some words that will blow others minds which you'll never ever do them in real life just for a great prize is just plain rubbish. Some say that actions speak louder than words. It's the same thing with our writing. Sure, it's easy for me to sit here in my comfy room and write a couple of words that might influence a lot of people. What will really influence the world is when I step up and actually apply my words in real life.

If the sponsors have loads of money to give out, then they should give it to people who are needy and cannot afford food or cannot afford to live, not the ones who can manage to write some influential words and wait for grabbing the money when they want.

I see contests all around. In fact, I even subscribed to a couple of blog contests a few days back. This is what happened! I saw this contest where there was a prize money put for a 1000 dollars and a couple of other freebies. For a moment, I lost my mind and got so greedy over those incentives that I decided to write for it and win it. And as soon as I made up my mind to write, I started thinking of the topic. No matter how much I thought, there was this need and urge in my mind that it has to make an impact on people, on others, on the ones who'll judge my writing, on the ones who'll actually decide if I deserved the money. I started thinking about my real life stories. They were too precious but not 1000 dollars precious. That's right, they were priceless. They may not have made an impact on others but they made an impact on me. Truth is your life only makes an impact on yourself. A few others too maybe - the ones who care about you the most. So after thinking all this, I started thinking of making up stories. I thought about fiction. I thought about fairy tales. I thought about tragic endings or beginnings. I thought about animals, the nature, the birds, the people. I thought about relationships. But I failed to cook up something interesting for winning that ''money''. I got so mad at myself that I dropped the idea of writing for the money. It had this evil influence on my mind. It was making my feelings too commercialized. It was manipulating my heart and I could not let that happen to my thoughts!

I say that never sell your thought, your blog or your heart for the money. Your thoughts are too pure and precious for just some contest grab-on. The day you sell your thoughts for the money, it will be sold forever. The things written from your heart is SO not worth the price they are putting on them.

It's sad to see that 90% of the posts written for the contests are so fake and commercial that they have no impact except scream out loud for the money. Sure, writing for a living is a different thing. But then again, the people who write for a living have their posts manipulated, reviewed, refined like 50-60 times before they actually get it published. That's not the real outburst of thoughts. Our real thoughts are raw, fresh and drafted in our hearts for a long long time. Do you really want to sell them?

If we had put our passion, our heart in our jobs, it wouldn't be frustrating. Heck, it wouldn't even feel like we deserve the stipend they pay us. Think about it. When was the last time, you did a job you really loved? And if you did really love it, did you care about the money so much? I bet no. If yes then maybe that's the way it is. What I feel is already spoken.

The saying - "If you're good at something, never do it for free" has its own limits too. Remember that.

Music - Summary of Life?

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 07:24:00 +0000

I remember when I was in school, I used to go for english tuitions. Apparently, Wren & Martin wasn't helping me. The tuitions used to be conducted by this college professor. He asked me a question one day about ''speed''.

Professor: What do you think travels the fastest?

A friend: Sound!

Me: Umm, light?

Professor: You both are wrong.

Both of us: *puzzled*

Professor: It's the BRAIN!

Now, that I think about it, he was right. The fastest I can reach home is by picturing myself in it first. I think the fastest we can think sometimes does beat light and sound at the same time.

But what has this got to do with music? Well, I'm sure this has happened to many of us a lot of times that you're listening to a particular song and the memories keep jingling in your head. It does, doesn't it? Today, I realized that music had the power to actually play an entire summary of my life in my head. It was about everything - the traps, the pitfalls, all my relationships with every person I ever met, painful & happy memories, my childhood, my teenage! Soon after the music got over, I felt like I literally lived all my life till now through just one song! It was an amazing feeling.

Has it ever happened to you? That you were listening to a song and it ended up taking you back in time?

Kinda like the feeling in this song

For those who fail to understand hindi, the song says - I wish I didn't have to return to my conscious state(reality) at all.

Small talk or No talk?

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 10:55:00 +0000

One of the many many things I'm allergic to is Small Talk! No, it's not any product I'm talking about. The usual small talk amongst people, you know. It's fine until it reaches the point when you cannot draw the line between just being nice and getting out of it. I cannot speak for all of you but I can surely tell how uncomfortable I get when it gets out of control.

As always, I'll give you a reference from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. There was this scene where a guy named Gunther was pouring coffee to another guy named Chandler.

Gunther: *pouring coffee*

So there's an obvious silence till the coffee is being poured.

Chandler: *breaks the silence* So what do you do when you're not working?

Gunther: You don't have to fill these silences.

Chandler: Alright. *storms off with the coffee*

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="600" caption="Courtesy: xkcd.com"][/caption]

If you think about it, this is a funny scene but this has happened a lot of the times in real life to me when there's an awkward silence and I really don't know what to say. The fear of a small talk popping up is what scares me the most.Ofcourse, I've mastered the art of stopping the talk before it even starts.

Bus driver: *while driving the bus and sees me sitting in the front seat* So what's your name?

Me: Why at all should I tell you?

Lady in the grocery: *sees I'm a regular buyer so starts* You live around this neighbourhood?

Me: No, I come all the way from New Jersey just to shop here.

Friend on FB: *pings me after a LONG time and never talked to me in college* Hey! How are you? I really miss you.

Me: Heh? Really? Did we ever talk?

Friend on FB: We should meet up sometime.

Me: Never talked but meet, ya right!

Friend on FB: Hey, I'm just making small talk.

Me: Yeah, well...don't!

Well, no I'm not always rude. I've tried making small talks. Trust me. It's just that I'm not very good at it. Once, I tried talking to this grocery man who was unable to find a jar of pickles and kept asking me about the weather and everything including politics, best swimmer, lazy sharks, prices of fuel, gold and etc under the sun. I mean there was nothing left for two strangers to discuss and he still couldn't find the jar of pickles that I asked him to search for. So, I actually left the store looking for it in some other place.

I face this problem when I'm on the phone with my relatives. I always term that as SMALL TALK! Oh, please. I'm not even close to my 2nd, 3rd or I don't know any n-th mausi or bua whom I haven't seen in years and when my mom just happens to force that phone down on my ear, all that comes out of my mouth is - "Yes, I'm fine. Take my respect. Give me your blessing. Talk to MOM!". There's this rush to hang up or give the phone back to my mother. I just cannot make conversations for the heck of it.

Ever got tensed in an elevator? I did. Lots a times. But you know what I appreciate in an elevator? SILENCE. I really do because you have no idea how uncomfortable it gets when a stranger in an elevator happens to pop up a talk with you when all you're waiting for is for your floor to arrive.

And this is what happens to people who happen to strike up a conversation with me after years of gap and ask me for my number. Sure, they'll have my number and everything but I'll never pick up their calls. If I cannot talk smooth with my relatives whom I do visit once every year, how can I talk to people who have been out of touch for like 9-10 years? Honestly, how much can you fake or go on making promises that you'll meet or call or catch up when there's nothing to talk about!

The awkwardest -- so awkward that it made me say awkwardest -- has been when I couldn't remember someone who was talking to me for about 5 minutes.

Uncle-type-man: OMG! Anamika?! Look at you! You've grown so big!

Me: *still trying to recognise him* Erm, hehe. Yeah.

Uncle-type-man: So what do you do now? Studying or Working?

Me: *still figuring* Well..I'm still studying.

Uncle-type-man: Aww, I still remember how you used to always be in your dad's arms when you were a baby. You remember? I used to tease you that you'll be a very lazy girl someday.

Me: *thinking if I was a baby, how is he expecting me to remember it?* Erm, do I know you?

*awkward silence*

Don't ask me how I got out of this one.

What do you prefer? Small talk or No talk?

Freaky coincidence update: The day I wrote this post, that same evening this exact small-talk incident occurred to me in the elevator. Old man walked in and asked me whether I'm done with studies and I'm working now etc. I ended up asking him ''Who are you?''. It's weird but I think my blog is on to me.

An incessant poll to ruin your mood.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 05:50:00 +0000

[polldaddy poll=5105236]

My horoscope is more like a horrorscope

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 30 May 2011 10:37:00 +0000

Okay, this is the time of year when my parents start getting all huffed up about my marriage. A little too soon? A little too early? I'm a still kid? Well, apparently for my parents, finding my prince perfect would take around a decade. I am surprised they didn't start the hunt when I was just born. They're more than 20 years late! Nevermind. So with all this fuss about starting the process, I get to know some intriguing details about myself through my religious portfolio -- The Horoscope! For many of you who are unaware of the term, check out the link. Remember the time when I told you guys about the great great Arranged Marriage in my community? Well, it seems that it is a big deal and everything has to go perfectly according to the plan.

Now, before I go into the groom samples (another post scheduled for that), I'll tell you the highlights of my horoscope. I know ~~all~~ most of you won't believe in it and so do I but it's always fun to know some whacky things about oneself. Or, atleast that's what I thought. I tried to sneak into my horoscope because it seems that one is not supposed to see their own. Yeah, talk about constraints. Anyway, now I know why one is NOT allowed to do so because it turns out that my life is going to be some kind of a dead end zone. Check these out

I cannot do a love marriage because apparently I'll kill the guy or he'll die of some tragic disease because of me.

I will own ''several'' kids. I'm afraid to have even one but several. I don't know if it's scary or being blessed?!

I will earn LOTS of cash by my 40s -- The time when my life will just be starting and I'll be a married woman worrying about my husband's affairs. Well, lucky me eh?

I will apparently have a possibility of a car crash when I'm in my 30s. So there goes the cash.

I will divorce my first husband to marry a second guy. My parents were worried I won't even marry one. Oh, and I divorce that one too which will shoo away my kids.

My grandson will be the most handsome man. WTH will I do with that? I mean good for him and his crushes maybe?I'd prolly not be even with him because I've already shoo-ed away my kids according to the previous point or I'll be dead already.

Do you ACTUALLY think I'm gonna read it any further? To hell with horoscope man, I'm glad knowing where I am and what I am without it. God forbid if those points turn out to be true, I'm going downtown. Ofcourse, for clubbing and become a gangsta. I wanna start living already. :|

Remember those days when life was simpler and my mother thought I was gay?

A guilty mother's apology to her baby blog.

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 16 May 2011 08:06:00 +0000

Just noticed that many people have put up blogoversary on their blogs to celebrate their blog's birthday. I think it's kind of sweet that how much people care about their blogs. To me this blog is much more than an online journal. It's my baby! I always wanted to adopt one but iThoughts is my very own baby. I gave birth to it without any witty funny man or smart seed of any righteous soul, but just with a keyboard and my mind.

And today the thought struck me deep when I started thinking about my blog. I've been a horrible mother. When I was putting the birth date of my blog on the blogoversary link, it appeared to me that iThoughts is going to be 2 years old while many of you will see that it has just completed 1 year which is not true. I remember deleting my blog and account -- almost everything when a storm hit my life. You know those times when you wanna end everything when nothing's going right? Yeah, I've been through it. But this blog was everything to me. It was a very popular, funny and happy space. Not only did it make me laugh but entertained many others. I remember it had many followers. Everything got over when one of my moods struck me. It kinda makes me regret that time.

I feel like I've killed my baby with my own hands. Kinda aborted it or something. So here's something for you, iThoughts

I will always hold you close to me

You've been my only diary whenever I wanted to talk to someone

You never react but always understood me

You were able to pull out my thoughts and place it here

You cheered up many souls, kudos to that

You made me think a little more everytime I came to you

You will always be my dearest! And not even once will I ever think of deleting you from my life EVER

Mommy is sorry that she has been so harsh to you but I'm ready to pay my dues. Whatever it takes you to keep you alive, I'll do it. I'll feed you everyday with anything that I'm capable of. Most importantly, I love you the most and you mean the world to me.

On a funny note though: I apologize for trying to change your clothes so many times and being a terrible shopping freak when it came to picking out the perfect theme for you. Someday, I'll design your clothes with my own hands and make you look like a shiny piece of journal.

I love you, my baby girl. :)

BTW, iThoughts is a girl because she has all the colours of life. She's sensitive and funny at the same time. And soon I'll think of a name for you on your 2nd birthday. Till then, we'll celebrate the countdown in a grand way.

Till then, baby girl name suggestions are welcome. :)

Miss, you forgot to take your balance!

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 15 May 2011 12:16:00 +0000

Welcome to the shypot land. Yes, there was a time when I was this doofus head. Wait? I still am. :s

I never liked going to the bazaar(market) alone. NEVER! Many many reasons behind that but just to cut to the fancy part -- I am shy. I was a shy kid and I always will be a shy kid.

I remember my father used to forcefully send me to buy groceries with a proper list of what all to pick from the store. And I had this consciousness that suddenly I'm on the road and everyone's just watching me. I get so tensed around people on the road that I just tend to start brisk walking. That makes me restless so there was a time when I went running to the market. Ah, don't ask.

So everytime I used to go to the store, I used to be scared of the transaction part. Ofcourse, nowadays most of the supermarkets have those machines which even tell the amount needed to subtracted and stuff. But I sucked at mental maths. I still do. Oh, another reason why I was shy. So after I used to finish getting all the stuff from the store, this was the scene most of the time:

Store guy: *telling me the total*

Me: *handing over cash like 100 or 200 waiting for change*

Store guy: Don't you have change?

Me: *nervous* Erm, No..sorry (I actually did have change but was too lazy or scared to calculate how much exactly I had to give him)

Store guy: *counting notes and giving me the change*

Me: *calculating the balance by subtracting the amount I owed him from the cash I gave him*

Store guy: Is it fine?

Me: *still calculating* Mmmhh

Store guy: Is it more or less?

Me: *getting more nervous and breaking the flow of calculations...start calculating again in my head* Wait wait..

Store guy: *starts addressing another customer*

Me: *finally get how much should be the change* Oh, yes. It's right.

Everytime this difficult phase used to be over, I used to rush back home.

I remember there were times when

-I kept calculating how much should be the change all the way back from the market till home when I was with my mom

-Whenever there was any fast transaction was involved with a complicated twist like my mom didn't have change or gave some coins to get an even number so that she can get a note of 10 or 20, I still kept thinking why the extra coins

-I forgot to take the balance from the store guy assuming that I got the stuff and it's more than enough.

My father used to give me this whole speech on how many classy subjects I'm studying but the airhead that I am still don't know to calculate mentally. And then he used to lecture me on how many schools did the people in the market go to!

Argh. Wait, am I the only one who feels nervous in public? If you have any such stories, please share to make me feel better or else I'd be the dumbest kid on planet earth :|

Gender Differentiation Tips - Anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 07:07:00 +0000

I know this might sound crazy or many of you must have already pictured me as a girl with resources like specs and a bit of brains being totally blind but that's not the case! Umm, sorry. Before I proceed, I must update you with my whereabouts and a bit of explanation for my delay in posts. No? Not interested? Well, I don't care. I'll write it down anyway. Well I'm back home in Dubai. Jeez, never thought I'd say this is my home after how much I cribbed about it before. But yeah this is my home because my parents live here. I'm glad to be back but unfortunately this happiness is going to last for just 3 months. That sucks, ain't it? BTW, I'm here for a reason and not just for having ghar ka khana or doing lukkhagiri. That reason is called ''internship''. Yeah, this is like my 3rd internship. My CV looks funny with a lot of internships and no work experience. Anyways, back to the topic. Now that you all know where I am and why -- let's start with something that totally made me numb yesterday :|

So this is what happened last evening. Alright, so we're in a bus. No, not you all. Me! I was going to catch this bus back home. I missed the earlier bus so I got the crowded bus which came next. Now, here the men and women have divided seating arrangements which is pretty cool because too many perverts get into these buses. Yeah, I know that's scary. So I get into the bus and I see all the ladies' seat being occupied except ONE. Or, atleast that's what I thought. I go up to this guy sitting on a ladies' seat and ask him to move so that I can get a seat. You won't believe what he replied. He replied that: I "AM" a Lady! Special enunciation on AM! I was like scanning him her? him HER upside down once again and then I passed on a nervous laughter.

She: Did you just call me a man?

Me: *still nervous* Erm, no ma'am. I'm sorry I was..

She: *mumbles something in african or some egyptian language*

Me: I'm sorry. I'll just stand.

I was dead sure that she mumbled some abuses to me. Well, why wouldn't she? I just changed her entire gender. Now, I'm no FBI (female body inspector) that I'll go ahead and scan each and every lady who looks like a man but isn't. And it's not my fault either. Not trying to get racist here or anything but she was this African-Egyptian Lady who was bald (that adds to it even more) not wearing any jewellery & was wearing a pant-suit. I was puzzled and embarassed and astonished and throw in some other surprising heart attacky words and you'll get there where I was last evening.

To top it up, I had to stand right in front of her with some other males standing right next to us and I could sense her anger through her fiery dragon breath on my neck. I was sweating like a cow. Wait, cows don't sweat. Like a HORSE! Horse is the word animal.

So I somehow managed to get down at the very next metro and come back home.

Alright so now my parents were laughing their dashes out last night when I narrated them the story. But think about it, it wasn't that funny. I could have been killed. :| Well, what if she was this big huge arab lady with muscles and stuff? Alright, I better close this post before people of certain ethnicities start throwing stones at me.

P.S: No hard feelings to any of my african, egyptian or arabic readers/friends. I love you all very much. But the ladies -- please start wearing make up or an occassional nose ring once in a while just for clearing doubts like these. :|

Getting rid of glasses - not so easy :|

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 08:11:00 +0000

This time I'll tell you the story of why how I got glasses. I remember I was at my elder cousin sister's place, just looking around here and there. In the background, my mom and my cousin were talking about the new pair of glasses she just got. I remember running back and asking her if I can try them on. She asked me not to as it is not great. Back then I did not have glasses and I wanted to be a girl with specs. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY! I always thought they looked pretty cool. Now, I know that only some chics manage to carry them off very well. And I was am definitely not one of them.

Anyways, as I tried on her glasses, I kept looking at the walls and stuff, perhaps even at the wall clock and surprisingly I could see everything a bit clearly. A bit might be lying! I could actually see things clearly. Right there, it was a weird indication that I needed glasses too :s But somehow didn't mention anything to my mother.

After that, I had this test in class and I ended up getting the lowest marks in the entire batch. When my teacher showed me my paper, she pointed out that I had copied the questions wrong!

By that time, my parents were convinced that something's wrong with my eye. No, wait, that was the only time they were convinced :|

Finally, went to the doc -- suggested that I should have gone to him earlier because I'm late and my power has increased.

So this argument started on whether I should try on lenses or glasses. Then my dad and the doc got into a big stupid fight about how lenses are all about marketing and stuff. In the end, I had to get those damn glasses.

In college, I tried getting lenses by performing really well in one sem (yes, that was the condition!). So I did! But by that time I lost the interest in trying them on because it felt very regular. Everyone was using it. So I switched back to glasses.

So you see this lens-glass-lens-glass cycle is kinda irritating. And now my friends tell me that I look better without glasses. Ofcourse, I know I look better without them. It's not like I chose to look stupid. It's a need or else I may end up tripping on the stairs and stuff. Yeah, my eyes do get that blurry :(

But now I've decided that I'll get lenses only when I earn so that my parents don't get to crib about it too. BTW, my friends did suggest me the laser-eye operation thingie and it scared the creep outta me. So yeah, I'm sticking to lenses (for the future). Glasses ( for now ) :|

You'll prolly get to see the before and after shot after I get the lenses. :P

Mom and Dad - This one's for you. :)

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 11:52:00 +0000

I have always been writing about my life and how things are going on with me. For once I want to dedicate a post to my parents -- the ones who always have been providing me with unconditional love no matter what I do or how I am as a person. If they ever stumble upon this blog of mine, they'll hopefully read this post. Let alone the fact that my other posts are going to scare the hell out of them. Ofcourse, they might be surprised that they don't know a lot about me but blogger does and my readers do.

I remember the times when I used to get fed up at home during vacations. I wasn't allowed to hang out with my friends or go out for a party or anything since I was brought up in a typical orthodox family setup. But the best part was that I was used to it and I never cribbed much about it. Infact, I enjoyed staying with my parents. Why? Because I had the internet. I used to masquerade being the nice daughter who used to stay at home all day and not even complain about missing the outside world, but actually I could find everything online which I wanted to see outside my home.

I could find people to talk to.

I could watch online shows (tv series).

I used to create and delete like I don't know what? A thousand accounts or blogs.

I used to play games!

Well, you get the gist.

I do regret those days when I used to be stuck in my room with my door closed just gazing into the screen for something/someone interesting. There were times when my mother used to knock in and ask me to join for lunch/dinner. My dad used to return from the office and I never bothered asking him how his day was. Not that he cared or anything but still..

My mother used to alone all day at home when I had college. My dad used to be in office. I used to dread thinking about how lonely her life is. Since we live abroad, she never had too many friendly neighbors to talk to. Neither could she make any international calls and chat with her relatives for hours. I never cared about how bored she was and inspite of all that she still woke up early in the morning just to make us a nice breakfast and send me and my dad off to a happy day. She still cared.

It hit me one morning when I was standing outside waiting for my college bus to arrive and saw my mother waving at me. She used to wait all day till evening for our arrival.

That day it choked me. I made a promise to myself to always have a talk with her daily no matter how many no. of assignments I have. Always made it a point to join her and watch those sleezy tv serials even when I didn't enjoy it. But it meant a lot to her. I even convinced my father to give her company during dinner time so that we all can have a fight over the remote as to who'll be watching what.

One day she sat me down and told me that those little moments during dinner and while watching the tv together is what she waits for the whole day. It made me cry inside. Made me realize that we were so self involved. But is this how we should treat the mothers who aren't working? Sure they'll find hobbies by themselves but we need to give them time. They are our mothers afterall. :) In the end of my busy busy day, if it wasn't for mom, I'd not be able to plan my next day. She always keeps everything ready. And I have stopped taking her for granted so I go out to help her once in a while.

Now, I'm not with her. I'm doing my masters and my parents are away in a different country. But I make it a point to call them up every week atleast twice. And I even promised my father that I'll return every penny of the phone calls made to them after I start earning but won't give up on keeping in touch. :D
It matters a lot -- not only to my mom or dad but to me too.

Never be too busy to care for your parents.

I am too busy to care, but want to do something. Jaago Re and BlogAdda.com are helping me do my bit for the society.

Let gone. :D

noreply@blogger.com (Ana) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 08:07:00 +0000

A little of this and that -- here I am with a new blog post at the end of this month. I'm sorry about that but I guess everyone has a reason of getting caught up with work. I've my own reasons too. Wait, I always have reasons! I should get rid of them. Anyways, back to the humble mode -- I'm sorry I've been away. A lot has happened this month too. Thought I'd wanna share it here. :D

Alright so let's start with my life first. It's doing great infact. I'll tell you why -- because I've learnt to forget and let go of the past. I know it took me a LONG time to arrive at this but I had to take some time off to realize it. The last few days were kinda traumatic. Like the usual cancerian crab, I was clinging on to some people. They gave me the hint that they have moved on. Since they are happy, I wanted to be happy for them. But I couldn't be happy.. Somethings still kept pinching me. I kept thinking that how can they be happy without me in their lives. Kinda self involved, ain't I? But then I thought why shouldn't they be happy without me? I've done a lot of wrongs and apparently created a whirlpool in their lives =) so they are better off with their new lives.

And then I had a weird time with my family too. This is the part when it hit me that why do we always try to see what we lost and never focus on what we have. I've been doing this way too long. I'm stupid enough to invest shit loads of time on people who will never be with me, on something that I'll never achieve and take the things/people that I already have for granted. That is when I realized that what I was doing was wrong. Big deal if some people whom I really cared about do not want to be associated to me anymore. I needed to be with the people who really matter the most to me -- my parents. I barely spend time with them. I'll keep getting and losing friends but parents are for a lifetime. So I've decided to not have any suicidal thoughts. Not have any regrets of the past because whatever happens does happen for a reason. I don't know if it happens for the best but I know I'm content :)

Also, I guess god helped me to recall certain incidents from the past which helped me to forget the past because they were so damn cruel. Sure, there were good memories too but I wouldn't wanna trade what I have with me for those evil times.

Yes, letting go is the solution to everything. I've learnt it the hard way. Live and let everyone be happy. If they need you, help them out. If not, leave them alone.

But I will make a few promises to myself

Never to think about giving up -- because a LOT of people care about me and that does not include only my parents.

Smile everyday and live the life that I'm offered because I believe I've a reason ahead

Make new friends and never let them go.

Stop taking people for granted -- specially the ones who care for me and have invested a lot of their time and energy in me.

And to the ones who are gone -- Be happy. It was fun with you but I don't regret losing you anymore. :) So a final Goodbye to you all!

Special thanks to my friend cheeku who made me realize what it is to be strong. I owe you a lot :)