MothRust: Movie and Myth

2012-05-25T21:55:00.001+10:00

Source: mothrust.tumblr.com via Peter on Pinterest

Bible bans bacon?

2012-04-14T16:44:00.001+10:00

Source: mothrust.tumblr.com via Peter on Pinterest

2012-04-13T01:08:00.002+10:00

Source: mothrust.tumblr.com via Peter on Pinterest

Jesus Hash Christ

2012-04-06T21:52:00.002+10:00

Source: tumblr.com via Peter on Pinterest

If you mix 'Santorum' (frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter produced by anal sex) with piss and pond scum you get 'Kirkcameron'.

2012-03-31T00:28:00.001+10:00

Source: mothrust.tumblr.com via Peter on Pinterest

Jesus vs. Aquaman

2012-03-25T19:18:00.000+10:00

Source: mothrust.tumblr.com via Peter on Pinterest

2011-09-26T11:20:00.001+10:00

http://twaggies.com/

I only heard about Twaggies recently. They are artists who create ‘crowdsourced’ comics. From what I gather, they take nominated Tweets from Twitter and visualise them into one panel comics.

I’m a huge fan of the one-panel comic and own every Far Side book Gary Larson ever released (The man was a comedic genius) so I’m very humbled and honoured to have inspired these guys to draw up one of my Tweets.

Go to the site and scroll through all of them IF you like to laugh. It’s a terrific idea and they’re brilliant at what they do.

My Twitter: @Mothpete

~Illustration by: Pete Hillstrom~

Robocop Moth

2011-09-01T23:05:00.000+10:00

A Very Merry 40th Batmany Birthday to me!

2011-07-08T17:53:00.001+10:00

After 40 years of wandering this wilderness like the children of Israel did for their 40 years, I'm expecting the Promised Land. Life begins now. It always begins now I suppose, but there's nothing like big round numbers to drive home the fact, that it's still happening... which is nice.

Thanks to my gorgeous and very graciously thoughtful partner, Joey, I've a very geeky bat-themed 40th birthday (or two) to try to keep me young. All six of our Brady Bunch family are here with me today and that's the best part of it.

I love the cake. Love it. I can't wait to eat the buildings in a few hours. I'm definitely putting dibs on the Bat Signal.

She had some frames for four of my favourite comics made out of some very rustic looking timber. I spent a good part of the day going through my collection trying to decide which to put behind the glass. Unfortunately 'The Killing Joke' was just a bit too faded to make the cut. A Death in the Family was my first, and I like the look of the others. A Joker-toxined Catwoman looks great, as does 'Speeding Bullets', an Elseworlds issue where the Waynes find Clark instead of the Kents.

I'm also chuffed with my first genuine DC Direct Batman statue and I freaking love the pose and the way the cape supports him. The 'Sock Monkey' Batman was custom made for us, and the little Bats and Supes are too incredibly cute. Thanks honey. Here's to another 40, at least. X PB.

Batman with a gun? Smart move in my opinion.

Much better than the suit in Batman Begins!

A very huggable Bat Sock Monkey

My superhero Tweets

2011-06-16T18:18:00.000+10:00

These are a few of my favourite superhero Tweets. If you feel compelled to retweet any of them for me, and I'd certainly appreciate it, the pictures are hyperlinked back to the original tweet. Cheers!

On a clear night, the Bat-signal must be freakin' useless.

I wonder if a Flash mob can run faster than a Superman mob.

Despite his thumbs' color, The Hulk was a terrible gardener.

Magneto's mother would stick him to the fridge when she wanted to clean the floor or display photos.

Does Iron-Man just avoid magneto? 'Cause it'd be no contest, right?

When the Avengers need Bruce Banner to change into the Hulk they give him a roll of clear sticky tape that has no visible start.

I don't need the superpowers, I just WANT to be able to walk around all day, in tights and a cape, without being mocked.

Superman is faster than a speeding bullet? As opposed to slow bullets? What, the bullets you 'throw'?

Superman needs a belt to keep his tights on?

I won't be convinced I don't have Wolverine powers until someone chops off one of my limbs.

If you want Superman to come to your Trivial Pursuit party, don't call it "Crypto Night"

Batman's utility belt is just a high teck fanny pack.

If Bruce Wayne ever grew a goatee, the jig would be up.

Some species of bats eat small birds... so that casts a pretty weird shadow on the whole Batman and Robin relationship.

You can't tell me Batman's not chaffing like a motherfucker under all that.

I think I was bitten by a radio-active sloth

The most dangerous part about hanging around Superman was avoiding all the bulls that were attracted to his cape.

I'd have more respect for the police if they wore capes.

I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.

If a spider gets bitten by a radioactive teenager does it become super sulky?

My Life in Film (Movie meme over my 40 years)

2011-06-09T23:08:00.005+10:00

My life in film. The idea is to pick out a movie of personal note for each year of your life from the year they were released. You don't need to have seen it in that particular year.

1971 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory: Wow, it's been 40 years since this movie was released. Yep, I'm forty. I'd say something about this movie, but I'm too depressed now... 40.

1972 Monty Python's Flying Circus: When I was one years old the English discovered that you didn't need a punchline.

1973 The Exorcist: There have been very few completely awesome demon possession movies since. It was already kinda nailed. The only time I saw vomit used so well in a movie was 'Stand by me', and Monty Python's 'The Meaning of Life'.

1974 Young Frankenstein: Goddam, Gene Wilder was awesome.

1975 Jaws: Some movie about a shark whose name 'Jaws' never gets mentioned.

1976 Bugsy Malone: Jody Foster's name was Talula and she lived til she died. Wasn't Chachi in this movie?

1977 Close Encounters of the Third Kind: As a kid I was so confused by this movie title. Was this the third in a trilogy? Where were the other two?

1978 Superman: What can I say. I just remember going to Hungry Jacks (Burger King) afterwards and staring into my Coke in awe of what just happened.

1979 Breaking Away: I honestly spent that year of school trying to speak Italian. Drove family and friends absolutely bonkers. Belissimo!

1980 Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back: Imagine nine year olds arguing about the soap opera aspects of Darth being Luke's dad etc... long conversations from memory.

1981 Raiders of the Lost Ark: I wouldn't let my little brother see this because of the 'graphic' scenes. I was a douchey big brother.

1982 E.T. The book had m&ms while the movie used Reece's Pieces. That's one of my strongest memories.

1983 Star Wars Return of the Jedi: Man, I loved the original Ewok celebration song at the end. Nub nub nibbidy boo, or something close to that.

1984 Ghostbusters -Nightmare on Elm Street, Beverly Hills Cop, The karate kid. This was a big year for movies, but for absolute brilliance, who ya gonna call? No, honestly? Who?

1985 The Breakfast Club: I just always thought they would have made a good Superhero Team up, Teen Titans, or Power Ranger style. Power of a princess. Power of a Geek... Jock... Emo kid... and etc.

1986 Aliens: The ultimate false ending. Two climaxes!

1987 The Princess Bride: There are people who haven't seen this movie. Worse yet, there are people who have seen it but didn't love it. Go away.

1988 Roger Rabbit: Wow. Nowadays you could make this sort of movie in the tenth of the time with our new fangled CG, but they'd never come close to this level of amazement.

1989 Batman: I almost cried from disappointment that there weren't enough Batman money shots. I learned to love it after I got some more perspective. More of my thoughts on Burton's Batman here.

1990 Ghost: I liked it.

1991 Terminator 2: Shiny melty man. Yeah, I'm getting bored now. Read on.

1992 Unforgiven: When I went to see this movie with some of my douche Christian friends, some of them did a 'walk out'. I was uncomfortable too. God I love this movie.

1993 Groundhog Day: If I was stuck in a time-loop repeating day I would... umm... you know what? Groundhog Day covered EVERYTHING

1994 The Lion King: Elton John was a big deal to me back then. We saw it a few times in the cinema, and it was animated! A new era was dawning.

1996 Braveheart: Soundtrack, battle scenes, script. GUSH

1997 Independence Day: Fun

1998 Titanic: I saw this in the cinema four times, as did everyone else I knew. I was a very gay man, I'm now thinking.

1999 The Prince of Egypt: Yeah, I was still a Christian at that point. This was 'way' cool for my types.

2000 Gladiator: See notes for Braveheart

2001 A.I. - Don't hate on me. I fell in love with this film and I completely loved and teared up at the ending.

2002 Spider-man: Cool. I just kept on rewinding that last city swing scene.

2003 Finding Nemo: Freaking awesome eye candy, and Ellen was perfect as Dora the fishy explorer.

2004 Before Sunset: The most fulfilling and beautiful romantic film of all time. It's one long chat, but we love it and its sequel to bits. Ethan Hawke gets a free ticket for life from me, for this.

2005 Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith: Nooooooooo!

2006 Borat: So funny. So freaking funny. As was Bruno.

2007 The Brave One: I like vigilantes and Jodie Foster, from Bugsy Malone to this.

2008 The dark knight: OMG OMG OMG (See Dark Knight blog post)

2009 Avatar: 3D done damn right. Remember 12 months earlier we were promised this would be 'F*cking' our eyeballs. It did.

2010 127 hrs: Yeah, go humans! We can do it! Inspiring stuff. Oh yeah, and I love it when Jo nestles her head in my arms and can't watch gory bits.

My first animated Twitter movie: Twitter and Twatter

2011-05-24T22:58:00.001+10:00

My Cinematic Alphabet - 'S' stands for Superman: The Movie

2011-05-22T16:27:00.000+10:00

Superman: The Movie. There was no mistaking this for a comic, or a toothbrush. This was a movie and the movie title said so. Thanks for the head's up, marketers. It reminds me of the first Star Trek movie, The Motion Picture; and the recent Simpsons' Movie, so titled. It's a redundant adage, but it solidifies it as an 'event'.

A real actor that looks like Clark Kent and has a real flapping cape! A superhero suit that looks as good, if not better than the one in the actual comic book? Unbelievable. The idea that a man can fly? Believable.

The opening credits were a bit long, but the soundtrack was a magical mix of mythical melody that immediately spilt into our skulls. And stayed there. The Krypton sequence... too long. The sulky Smallville years... not as long. The amount of time before we saw him in flight? About an hour and ten minutes.

Sure, Lex should have been bald. Sure, he shouldn't be hanging around with morons. Sure, Superman should not be able to go back in time whenever Lois dies. But that sky scream he gives by the car? Awesome. The montage that included saving the kitty from the tree? Cute. The wink he gives the audience thereby breaking the fourth wall, at the end? Totally forgivable. Superman II was more of a continuation and was even more fun. The other sequels, including Supergirl and Superman Returns? Never happened.

Batman Began

2011-05-14T23:19:00.007+10:00

This was the moment - True Love

In 1988, I discovered Batman when the newspapers ran with the story that Robin's death would be voted on by readers. Yep, the new readership they wanted by writing sensational event stories sucked me in. Until then I read black and white Phantom comics and had never considered buying the more expensive American magazines. And besides, Batman was some campy crap from TV. I was ignorant to the comic series, but this news that the Joker had pounded Robin to a bloody pulp with a crowbar got me interested. It seemed the campy stuff was over long ago. The first actual Batman comic I saw completely won me over. It showed him upside down, hanging from a tree. Oh yeah, I wanted to be that guy. It was the most striking image I had ever seen. I was smitten, and I still am.

Nipple free

I started to devour all things Batman. All the back stories and stand alone graphic novels, all the compendiums, and toys... everything. I drew batman icons on paper, and made suits for costume parties. There's something about that icon that is primal to me. I've even got a Batman symbol tattooed on my shoulder and I never tire of it. I became obsessive for the Dark Knight and I studied the character with devoted admiration. Soon after, I discovered that Tim Burton was making a film, and my imagination went wild. What would the Bat suit look like, and the car, and the cave? How would they show the years of dedicated training that formed this dark and disturbed yet focussed superior hero (yes, superhero) detective. It was a big budget movie and I hope it was going to be the biggest movie event of my lifetime.

Batman broods, and I like that idea. A hero that sulks. I could do that. Bruce Wayne is the epitome of obsessiveness and was a normal guy with billions of dollars, and dedication. Much like the Phantom, I was interested in the idea that anyone could be a superhero if you had a good reason and some determination. I've had plenty of arguments with people about the label 'Superhero', but I'll stand by it. Batman is 'super' enabled, much like most of the heroes of Gotham. He's more than ordinary... Super Ordinary? He's completely honed, so bad guys are completely owned.

Cool. Very cool.

Back to the movie. It opened to some deep emotionally charged soundtrack and a camera angle that weaved and swooped us through a maze that later revealed itself as the Batman emblem itself, in all its glory. It was beautiful and perfect. This was going to be great! The first scene involved a very dramatic and operatic caped figure instilling fear into a couple of thugs, and he told them... he, was Batman. The Batsuit looked dark and shiny and although he had a fat looking head and a chest emblem that didn't quite look right AT ALL, it had flair and presence.

It was all set up to be something more than magic, but then the Joker showed up, and literally stole the show. He stole it. He was in most of the scenes whereas I wanted to see more Batman. Not a Clark Kentish Bruce Wayne clutzing about and NOT the Joker being campy. I wanted to see the batsuit again. I wanted to see the cape fluttering by as he swang through the city and jumped from rooftops. He could hardly move his neck. He had so much rubber on him I couldn't see how he could make like Bruce-Lee and stealthily get around and kick ass, but for me, it's all about the cape, and the cape looked great.

Issue #700

I left the movie completely disappointed. Why wasn't he swinging through the city and jumping between rooftops? Why wasn't the movie simply called 'Joker'. I was underwhelmed, and kinda upset. On subsequent viewings I got a better perspective, but it wasn't my Batman. It was 'a' Batman though, and there was a lot to love about the movie. We never got enough time with BatBruce, and decades on we're still begging for more time with the man. In Batman Begins, we did at least get some backstory to the Bat story and then later we were lucky enough to get another Batman/Joker movie. Yeah, he still has the clunky bat-suit, and unfortunately it looks like it was made from car tires, tread and all, but it was a huge brilliant movie (although full of plot-holes). It'll probably be another twenty years before we see Batman and Joker at it again where their Dynamic Dual can be dissected some more, but I'm learning to be patient.

My Cinematic Alphabet - 'R' stands for Raiders and Robocop

2011-05-11T00:03:00.003+10:00

Raiders of the Lost Ark

This is how I like my Indiana Jones: young, non-wrinkled and free of flying fridges. Indiana was the quintessential serialised rugged action hero plucked from a non-existent radio series and given eternal life by Lucas. God bless 'im for the wonder years of cinema, before he regurgitated them into the plunder years of cinema. My god, Indy 4 winked at itself so much that I could feel a breeze. You have to consider it a spoof rather than a sequel and then strike it from the records. I think most of us have already. I do hear the lego game version is great. Lego 'anything' is cute. Heck even a lego Steve Buscemi with a Predator's mandible mouth would be cute.

'Raiders' was there first with the greatest epic dusty action adventure of the modern age, and it had the score, the man, the hat and the whip we boys all wanted to own. I would've ruled the schoolyard with a whip like that. Indy was great when he was hunting religious relics and we were there in awe when the Ark was finally opened. Then we rewound the VHSs again and wewatched it many more times watching Nazi's faces melt off. Good times.

Robocop

Never before has the story of Jesus been told so eloquently, and with so many high tech machine guns. If Jesus died and rose again sometime in the future, how could he not want to do it Robocop style? Oh yeah, the whole 'peace' thing. Whatever. The late 80s was an amazing time for action movies with Die Hard, First Blood and Lethal Weapon, and they didn't hold back on the swearing, drug use, and memorable one-liners.

Robocop had it all! Sweet stop-start animation, and a costume design that never dated. NEVER. It's just gorgeous to look at and have as an action figure that I'm not allowed to display. All the robot designs were timeless. I loved Robocop 2 also, and I think it was an awesome thing with some real nasty stuff RoboMurphy had to deal with, despite Frank Miller not being able to do exactly what he wanted with it.

Thirty years later it seems Hollywood is trying hard to recapture the feel of those movies, but it just seems they're over. A reboot to Robocop has been mulled over for a while now, but Robo's resurrection was already done to perfection, and then overdone by the time the crappy Robocop 3 was released, plus subsequent TV series. No actor nowadays is going to sign up for a movie where half of his face is going to be covered up for the most part. Robocop has no Bruce Wayne alias that allows him to go out at night to sip cocktails. He's a brooking hulk of a figure that misses his wife and kid.

He's only human. Onya Murph.

Actor's Filmography meme (Bruce Willis)

2011-05-03T19:48:00.002+10:00

Using only movie titles from one actor or actress, cleverly answer these questions. Check Wikiipedia or imdb for filmographies.

Pick an actor: Bruce Willis

1. Are you male or female: Last Boy Scout

2. Describe yourself: The Bonfilre of Vanities

3. How do you feel about yourself: The Kid

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Perfect Stranger

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: What just happened?

6. Describe your current location: Striking Distance

7. Describe where you want to be: Sin City

8. Your best friend is: Nobody's Fool

9. Your favorite color is: The Colour of Night

10. You know that: Rugrats go wild

11. What’s the weather like: Tears of the Sun

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called? Moonlighting

13. What is life to you: The Story of Us

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Die Hard

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Hudson Hawk

My Cinematic Alphabet - 'Q' stands for Westerns?

2011-04-29T23:38:00.006+10:00

Quigley

After Die Hard, not only did we want more Bruce Willis, but we wanted more Alan Rickman, and we wanted him as a bad guy. So we got him in 'Quigley' and he was "Hans Gruber Returns" as far as I was concerned, and he returned in Australia, of all places. This was, of course, a Western, but in my great brown land, which is more of a Southern than a western. I should add that Tom Selleck was great in this movie and he had a huge freaking gun along with a huge freaking Selleck mustache. I remember this having a soundtrack that impressed on me too, but I'll have to chase this movie up and check it out better because it's been way too long. Not a great title, I might add.

Later Colonel Sanders went on to sell fried chicken

The Quick and the Dead

Sam Raimi directed this gem of a western, and Sharon Stone played the unknown girl looking for revenge. There is so much spaghetti in this western that you can hardly see the meatballs, but meatballs there are and plenty of 'em /spit-chew. What a cast! Gene Hackman, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobin Bell, Kevin Conway, Gary Sinese AND the awesome Millennium man himself, Lance Henriksen. Sharon Stone's most memorable role besides the beaver movie.

Sharon Stone, the lead in a Western? it happened.

Quantum of Solace

Hardly a western, but James Bond did roam around in a desert for a while. I thought this was a worthy sequel to Casino Royale apart from the damned quick MTV action editing. I like this Bond so much better than all the previous 'hams'. I was never a fan of the Die Another Yesterday Forever gimmicky Bonds. I hope there's move of it, and soon.

I'd give anything for a 00 7-11 right now.

The kids and I star in JibJab Star Wars

2011-04-29T00:31:00.001+10:00

My Cinematic Alphabet - 'P'

2011-04-26T01:49:00.003+10:00

The Princess Bride

There are people who haven't seen this movie. I know it's difficult to believe, and I know it's shocking, but there it is. Even stranger, there are people who have seen it and didn't like it. It's inconceivable! I've met those people, and I've had to commit to ignoring them for the rest of my natural life. I suppose the former of those two groups of people may not have seen the film due to their young age, or due to the film looking like a fluffy fairytale romance. Most of the time I'm able to convince them to see it, and I get a good report back and endless thanks and praise. Sometimes I get refusals on my recommendation because I was once 'that' guy who didn't mind Mars Attacks. People forgive a bad movie recommendation, but they never forget. It's hard to get that trust back.

And honestly, I have to say, if you didn't appreciate the Princess Bride and its romance, and humour, and soundtrack, and cast, then... unfriend me, unfollow me, unfamily me, if you can, because you sir or madam cannot be someone I would be able to hold a conversation with. At some point in the chat we're going to get to The Dreaded Pirate Roberts, and you just won't be on board. Goodbye to you. Skip to the Poltergeist review because you'll probably hate The Phantom too. As you wish.

This is a 'true' film. Truly brilliant. Do you think that comes along every day?

"I will always come for you." Double entendre?

Poltergeist

Poltergeist certainly stood on its own as an effectively fun and frightening film and was satisfying because it pulled at the string and unraveled everything. It's an amazing concept enough just to have a chair move a short distance. It's scope increases when everything in the room spirals in a whirlwind, and then the whole thing snowballs into terror when the house take Kerry-Anne into the depths of their souls.

Scary things covered: Clown doll ✔ Creepy tree outside window ✔ Ghosts ✔ Skeletons ✔. The sound effects were perfect, especially the eerie voice of the little girl between worlds. The special effects went into overdrive in the final showdown, and blew everything away, including the house. Just awesome.

Spielberg made this back to back with E.T. and it shows. There's the same fun, charm, and familiarity. The 'Wonder' of it all was in their eyes of this amazing cast. A cast that had some fall victim to the Poltergeist curse over following years, or simply to bad luck, which is more likely the case. The sequel was bigger and even better and it was great to see these character come back and deal with the 'Big Bad'. The third was 'meh', but made good use of the 'mirror' concept before other films 'mirrored' that idea to death.


They're here! Finally 3D Television.

The Phantom

I was a Phantom Comic collector from the age of 15 and I have a huge collection of them. I wore the good and bad marks of the Phantom on my fingers. Rumours of a movie version had come and gone so many times that we stopped believing them. Still, we had hope, and one day it happened. They were shooting the film in our area! Everyone in my circles wanted to be an extra, and those of us who did never made it off the cutting room floor, yet alone on the film.

I thought Billy Zane was perfect for the role of the wise-cracking superhero, and filled the suit out with pride. The purple suit looked much better than I could have ever anticipated (Due to a coloring error in the 30s-40s the suit became purple when it was supposed to be grey 1. to blend into the shadows, and 2. To mimic the statue of the ghost who ruled the land). It was a low budget film that showed some of the spunk and spirit of Mr Walker, the Ghost who never dies... The Phantom. It was a period piece which rang true to the original comics also, and many a wink was given to the continuity that readers would identify with. They did break many rules though, which was disappointing: No one must ever see his eyes. He doesn't talk to his dead father. His ring isn't magic... the list goes on.

Hopefully he'll be back with a bigger budget one day. There's always hope.

Still looking for the Heart of the Ocean diamond from Titanic.

The 30 Day Song Challenge

2011-04-25T21:11:00.009+10:00

I'll be updating this post daily... Don't bother checking in too often. You won't like this list.

day 01 - your favorite song: Clocks - by Coldplay
day 02 - your least favorite song: Anything by KISS or AC-DC
day 03 - a song that makes you happy: Walkin on a dream - by Empire of the Sun
day 04 - a song that makes you sad: Downbound Train - by Bruce Springsteen
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone: Unusual You - by Britney Spears
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere: Echo Beach - by Martha and the Muffins
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event: The Greatest Discovery - by Elton John
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to: Ride on - by Evermore
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleepSarah Blasko: As day follows night
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure: Singing In The Rain / Umbrella (Glee Cast Version)
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad: Fall to pieces - by Avril Lavigne
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument: Malibu - by Hole
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty: Incomplete - by The Backstreet Boys
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year: All I ever wanted - by Basshunter

My Cinematic Alphabet - 'O'

2011-04-22T00:18:00.004+10:00

'O' is a tricky movie theme in this meme. There's just not a lot of greats to choose from, and although the following two wouldn't fall into my top 50 movies, they're the top of the Os for me.

Office Space

The highlight of this movie was seeing a Xerox photocopier machine get done to it what we would all want to do. And that is to beat the living crap out of the freaking awful machines before they go 'self aware' on us all and take over the planet. This is a movie for everyone who hates their job and would love to be able to give the finger to the boss and do whatever.

Office Space starts great, and even Jennifer Aniston has a good part. It slows down towards the end, but It's a classic comedy that was the best 'office' flick around before Ricky Gervais came onto the scene and got 'definitive' with the scenario.

We need to talk about your TPS reports... yeah...

Open Water

A low/no budget film that delivered real shark fear, and without the swimming Xerox machine that was the original Jaws. The actors made me feel the desperation and futility of the situation. A great and chilling film with a final scene that has you staring at the credits, deep in thought... I love those moments.

I live on the east coast of Australia and I often swim in waters where all sorts of sharks roam. I've never seen a shark in the wild - never - but I jump at shadows all the time. Imagine knowing those shadows WERE sharks and there were plenty of them, circling you. Scary stuff.

Open Water 2 had its merits, while The Reef, 2011, which was a mix of the two, just completely sucked in comparison.

Maybe it's just an angry dolphin, ya think?

My Cinematic Alphabet - N

2011-04-21T01:38:00.004+10:00

I started doing a movie meme called 'My Cinematic Alphabet' and got through the letters A to M. When I started getting tired of messing with the clunky and cumbersome Blogspot formatting I instead decided to focus on one letter at a time. The meme rules state that one movie must be picked per letter, but I just can't. I can't. This reworked meme will also serve to actually give me something to freakin' blog about each day or so or week. Today's blog is brought to you by the letter 'N'.

Napoleon Dynamite

My first impulse is to feature Napoleon Dynamite, because I completely love every line of that movie. It's awkward, and real, and sweet, and cringe-worthy, and is one of a kind. I'm a real sucker for coming of age movies and although I'm not sure he did 'come-of-age', it's a movie that hits me in a part of my brain that remembers being that age all to well. in fact, I think I stayed there.

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills

The Notebook

The second honorable mention goes to The Notebook, because of quotes like these and how they affected my/our lives:

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you."

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."

Q. Do you think our love can make miracles? A. I do.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

My third of four favourite movies, to the Nth degree, is A Nightmare on Elm Street. Freddy was a killer character that actually DID exist, if only in the young fertile imagination of my mind. He regularly intruded into my nightmares as a teen, and they were the sort of dreams that actually woke me up in fear, and I loved it. I'm still fascinated by dreams that can fill my head with that level of unreality and terror. The original movie was perfect and the third was great fun with the idea of the dream warriors being able to inhabit the same dream between them.

I can't really remember the fourth and fifth movies (Dream child... dunno, and no I'm not googling it right now), but I remember putting the 3D glasses on for what was supposed to be the 6th and Final Nightmare. After that, Wes Craven's New Nightmare was inventive, and Freddy vs. Jason was crossover coolness. I never saw the reboot, and don't care if I don't, but I probably will... and soon.

Why are you screaming? I haven't even cut you yet

Noise

The final movie, and the one that is most important to me, is a little Australian movie called 'Noise,' written and directed by Matthew Saville.

Tinnitus sucks. It really does.

The community reels after an incident on a suburban train. A young cop, beset with doubt and afflicted with tinnitus, is pitched into the chaos that follows this tragic event. He struggles to clear the noises in his head while all around him deal with the after burn of the crime.

I have a particular bias towards this film, and not just because it's VERY Australian, but because of the condition our lead character suffers with: Tinnitus. I've had chronic Tinnitus for ten years now, and it only gradually gets easier to live with. The constant high pitched shriek in my ears is like a demon that never sleeps, but whose very existence is to torment and torture me for all my living days in this world, but hey... I've got a blog for that already.

Loneliness and emptiness are states that Aussies can't help but explore. The twenty million of us live in a broad brown land with vast oceans between our neighbours, and some of them used our giant island as a prison for their unwanted citizens. There are shades of film noir in this movie accompanied by brilliant art direction and visually stunning cinematography. It is a very moving story that may leave you sadly speechless when the film ends. Warning: there may be plot holes a plenty.

Officer Graham grapples with the non-stop noise of Tinnitus in his head while manning a caravan that the public can visit and report to should they have any pertinent information to the crime. Graham is a nobody who few have respect for, and he's been kicked out of normal duty to do these late night shifts at the van. But perchance, his little van gets some shady characters that may or may not have information . How do you deal with the noise? How do you deal with people responsibly when the noise in your head frustrates you to the point where it take precedence over anything else? I've been there and it lingers.

This is a simple but brilliant film that has a lot to enjoy and will easily give you a subject for conversation afterwards, because I know, in every crowd of people there's some poor soul there, like me, with a demon in his ear.

Charlie Sheen vs. Jesus Christ - Animated

2011-04-17T16:58:00.000+10:00

Short Film & TV Poems

2011-04-16T22:12:00.006+10:00

Walt's making crystal meth and problem solving every glitch.
Jesse's Breaking Bad 'cause yo man, life's a ... bitch.

Crashed and LOST on an island. Two godlike brothers play their doom.
The survivors flash back here and there, then all meet up and ...poom

The 'Limitless' drug opens up your mind and give you your goals.
A great fun film, if you ignore the giant plot holes.

Driving Angry with Nic Cage after he's dead,
is like Ghostrider but worse, with no flaming head.

Ryan Reynolds' character is buried underground,
just a mobile phone and no one else around.

127 Hours. Stuck between cliff and rock.
Crazy thoughts and memories. Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

THOR is a Hammering Superhero; can you hear that thunder?
Who else could play a cranky god, but a guy from Down Under

Twitter Hash-Tag gags

#MathMovies
American Pi 3.14159265: Full Circle

#MustSeeMovieSequels
Buried 2: Decomposing

#InsaneSequels
AVP3: Illegal Aliens vs Sexual Predators

#WhenTVMovieWorldCollide
127/24 Jack Bauer's arm gets wedged between a rock and terrorist.

My Cinematic Alphabet (A to M)

2011-04-11T21:44:00.003+10:00

If there's a meme going around, I'll do it. I caught this one at my Twitter-mate's blog, FrontRoomCinema. I'm a shameless follower and of trends, and of my own favourite movies. I think I'll have to do a separate list for horror movies and independent films. Some of the letters were a little tricky, e.g. O and Y, but here we go.

A is for Aliens AND Avatar.

Okay right off the bat I'm cheating with two movies in a 'letter', but there are so many similarities between these two that they're almost in the same universe. I'd like an Avatar vs Alien movie - AvA: Black vs. Blue. A Na'vi Xenomorph hybrid would be interesting.

Get the Mech outta here!

B is for Braveheart

It was an epic movie like no other. All other big battle scenes would be measured by those in this movie, but it was there first, and it found the sweet spot. Cheering and crying for William Wallace was all made easier by a beautiful and haunting soundtrack. Now, you can dance to it... check out the techno mix below. Love it!

Can I borrow a hair tie?

C is for Con-Air

For me, this was the ultimate popcorn action flick. This was when Nicholas Cage was gold and John Cusack was cool. Big action scenes. Big bad guys. Quotable quotes and Steve Buscemi as Garland Greene. I'm still a little pissed he survived to wear more people's heads as hats though (no, the caravan park girl didn't reform him).

This is Nicholas Cage's hair done right.

D is for Die Hard

Oh Dark Knight... I'm so so very sorry, but even my beloved Batman can't trump the perfection that is Die Hard. A movie THIS re-watchable and unapologetic in its swearing and kills? Brilliant. Like Con-Air, I completely love a movie where the wise-cracking every-man has to step in and save the mother-fucking day. There should be more of those please. And if you haven't heard this tribute song yet, I'll do you a favour. Check the youtube clip:

I hope I don't get another three of these days

E is for E.T.

Spielberg performed magic in the cinemas; absolute freaking magic. Who knew one day he'd go on to make Indy 4: KOCS? Sad. But, back then, he simply blew our minds with the sort of stuff we daydreamed about, and to see it on the screen and make it believable was a truly astonishing thing. This is me at Universal Studios, 1984. This was the same year m&m's were introduced into Australia. Good times. I don't know how E.T. contorted himself to fit in that basket.

How did E.T.'s body fit in that basket?

F is for First Blood and Finding Nemo

...because they're quite similar when you think about it.

They're just guys trying to... umm... I'm really reaching for any similarity here. They both start with the letter F, and Rambo gets wet at one point. Okay, from here on in, only one movie per letter.

I'm coming for you

G is for Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day

Did I just say only one movie per letter? I guess I did, however, this is the exception that makes or breaks the rule (whatever that means). Both happen to star Bill Murray and Harold Ramis. 'Stripes' could almost be thrown in to complete this trilogy of hilarity. Bill Murray was the king of laconic sarcasm and god I wished he'd made more movies with Harold that didn't include the lackluster Ghostbusters 2. Still, better than no sequel at all, in my opinion. Rumour is now that he's signed on to a third and fourth... we'll see. Oh, and check this link for 101 reasons to love Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Busters

H is for Harry Potter

Because the only other film I could think of off-hand was Home Alone, which was freaking funny. I remember the fun of being in the cinema and just hearing non-stop laughter from everyone in the theatre. It was fun and funny. Harry Potter is good too, 'spose.

I think the Hollywood teal and orange wash fad started here

I is for The Incredibles

Brad Bird and Pixar did a superhero ensemble completely right, and it was funny and amazing to look at. Personally, I like my supers to wear capes, but I can see how annoying it would be on a super speedster, or a stretchy woman. I'd like to see these guys go head to head with the FF (I'm not going to say who the FF are... you should know). They were no ordinary family.

Btw, the redhead is a bad guy because they ARE evil.

I made this giff

J is for Jaws and Jurassic Park

Okay, this meme is NOW the 'One or Two' movies per alphabet letter. Both of these 'J' movies are Spielberg directed and feature ancient creatures with really big teeth. Jaws made it so that no other movie maker could ever make a decent shark movie compared to the perfection of this one. I think the same can be said for Jurassic Park. The wonder and terror from seeing all these creatures come to life is what movies are all about. We don't even need a rebooted Jaws with a CG shark, because we're happy enough with Roboshark himself.

Glasses on. Glasses off

K is for The Karate Kid

In all the history of movie 'money-shots' this was the one that stretched VHS tapes and filled the screen with fuzzy bits. How many times did I rewind that final Crane Technique kick? A lot of times. I loved the whole trilogy, even the final Bonsai Buddy film where he had lost the girls he fought for in the previous two. Let's not speak of the Next Karate Kid, or the rebooted Kung-fu Karate kid... I just couldn't care about Will Smith's preteen kid finding balance in his life. Danielson, I cared about.

Get him a body bag... bwa ha ha

L is for Lost in Translation

There was something about this movie that I couldn't put my finger on, but loved nevertheless. In 2003 I identified with the emptiness Bill's character had. To be in a strange land, then to meet somebody and make a connection. It was a real movie, and had a real ending. I could identify with the characters and the idea of finding a soul mate. Soon after this movie I did find my soul mate, then lost her in translation, then found her again. Love you Joey.

M is for Music, The Sound of

Hey this is my list, and I've got to keep the S category free for Superman, and being my list I have to include the favourite movie of my childhood: The Sound of Music. Every sound and sight is ingrained into my head, and the soundtrack to it was the first CD I ever bought.

It would wait every year for network TV to play it and then try to stay up and watch the whole movie. It then took me longer to work out what the nun had in her hands and how the Von Trapp family got away. No apologies for my love of Maria and the captain.

How DO you solve a problem like Maria?

Goodbye and farewell, until I get time to do the second half of the alphabet.