Dancing at the Mid Point of Life

Making Time for Friends: Human or Not

2012-01-23T17:56:00.000-08:00

Lunch today with an old friend at a Vietnamese restaurant. I so enjoy getting together with a good friend. Life doesn't leave enough time for that sometimes. But when we find that is happening, it is time to re-prioritize. In my opinion, housework can always be done later. Right now I am prioritizing spending as much time spoiling my dog, Bob Barker, before he has to leave me. Osteo sarcoma is unfair, but it is helping me re-prioritize.

Hubby's Home, But Now Dog is Dying

2012-01-22T06:39:00.000-08:00

Life just rolls along, doesn't it? My husband came home from eleven months as a contractor in Washington state. It took a while to re-adjust. I am not a very conventional person, and he is. If I chose to leave the bed unmade and eat leftovers three days in a row so I could work on a writing project, I did just that. My husband bristles at the idea of leftovers and seems to think that being a wife includes having Martha Stewart genes. Still, it is lovely to have someone to dance with again, and to go hiking in the dunes of Lake Michigan, and to hold.

Now I have just learned my dog has osteo sarcoma in an inoperable spot (his pelvis). I am heartbroken. Joy eludes me.

Making Due at the Eight Month Mark

2011-04-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Danced with my husband a couple of months back. Going on eight straight months of living alone while the husband does contract work. I miss dancing and being held more than sex. I am learning to reach out and do things with friends more often. I attended a religious women's group this Monday, and watched a movie with girlfriends Friday. I try to make it to all my Lions Club meetings. Generally, I am content, except for the lack of dance. Dressing up, sparkling, whirling, and laughing...life at its finest. I have also become profoundly thankful for my mutt, Bob Barker. What a sweetheart! He is eager to walk with me, sit with me, play with me, and is so loyal it makes my heart break. Dogs are in many ways preferable to men.

Tired of Not Dancing

2011-02-26T21:04:00.000-08:00

My husband has been doing contract work out of town for six months. We've had three brief visits in that time. Only once did we go dancing. Tired of not dancing. Tired of not having help around here. Just plain tired. Glad my boys are here every other weekend to watch sci-fi movies and cheer on the smart characters and boo-hiss the ones most likely to die off before the end of the film. I want to be a survivor too.

Getting to Dance Again

2011-01-21T15:54:00.000-08:00

Life continues it's strange, winding, seemingly senseless road. My husband, who has been working in a contractor across the nation from me, if coming home for a job interview next week. He says we will dance. How I am looking forward to it! The music, the movement, the touch. There is nothing like ballroom dancing in all the world. I have learned about posture, grace, following, and leading, musical rhythms, musical lore, but most importantly, I have learned to cherish moments.

Sagging

2010-01-30T19:32:00.001-08:00

Who am I kidding? I hate sagging. I used to have a lovely neck. Now when I look at my face, I notice the sagging cheeks first, and the neck only after I have assessed the fine lines on my face. I don't get any fashion magazines, but do look at the best and worst dressed sites as well as some articles by More online. I try to avoid things that make me hyper critical of myself. I don't have the money, or the real inclination, toward surgery, so I need to try to make peace with my sags and bags.

Middle Aged

2009-08-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

A fellow I know who is 57 referred to himself as "middle aged" the other day. Now, I know what he meant, but who the heck are we kidding? If he were truly in the "middle" of his life, he would have to live to 114 years old. He already has diabetes and has referred to other medications of a delicate male nature, so the plumbing isn't up to snuff either. Let's quit sugar coating things. Most folks will still die before they are out of their 80s. That means by my age, 47, I am well into the second half. All of Ted Kennedy's money didn't buy him a 114 year old life span, and he would have been over his halfway mark by 39. Lets live the lives we have well and admit they are finite.

Sensible Foolishness

2009-08-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

At 47, I feel silly saying I am middle aged. After all, who am I kidding? My grandma may be in her nineties, but most of the rest of my kin clock out far earlier. Still, I feel like I am in the middle of the wild optimism of youth and the settled contentment of the late years. I feel sensible enough to choose to be foolish. I have recently begun to investigate more "far out" things like UFOs and alien visitors. I am considering re-beginning a dream journal and meditation--not to change the world or to mark time, but to re-enter the discussion of larger things outside my own family. I feel like I am in the midst of something...

Grandkids

2009-07-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

I am 47 and don't have any grandkids, and won't, I hope, for a while as the kids are not yet in their twenties. Still, I am beginning to understand the deep appeal of giving one's self to grandchildren. It is a chance to participate in parenting from a safer, wiser distance, to offer multi-generational advice, to stand back and smile. It is one of the main things I think I still have to look forward to doing, besides seeing the Louvre.

Coloring One's Own Head of Hair

2009-07-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

I finally did it. I bought a box of what I hoped was higher quality hair color and did my own noggin. It looked surprisingly like what I came out of the hair stylist's chair with these past 13 or so years. It was much cheaper (about a quarter as much, more if I tipped well). Still, I have dye on the counter-top and had to worry a lot about the timing. Do what has to be done, I've recently said. Sigh. I am tired of austerities. Mid-life for me is where, due in part to being unable to sell my home in another state and to being unable to find a good job, I have had to take steps backwards, take detours, and, yes, attempt things that have never been attempted before, like coloring my own hair and taking even more online surveys for extra gift cards. Not what I hoped would come out of my move to the Tampa Bay. I was thinking more of seafood and trips to Disney. Adapatation is survival.

Valves and the Flow

2009-07-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

The flow of my lifeblood is leaking. At least, the mitral and tricuspid valves are. I am discouraged about taking care of my health. Fatalistically, I know I will die, so what is the point? Now, I know the point is supposed to be to have a quality life while I wait for the final tick of the clock, but the effort it takes to keep up health, the constant decisions about food, exercise, drink and the like are wearing on me. To make matters worse, I lost six pounds since spring, only to begin to gain it back. I am at the time of life when a whiff of a cookie or a sip of a glass of wine seems to immediately put weight on. I am, in a word, discouraged. Still, what choice do I really have if I hope to be the kind of grandmother that my grandmother was to me? I need health, wisdom and, most essentially, to be there.

Buddhist Website for Middle Age

2009-07-01T19:05:00.001-07:00

I found a website that states it is for middle aged people. If grammatical errors don't bother you, take a look at http://agemiddle.net/ On my first visit I found a nice quote by Theodore Roosevelt and several posts about guilt. I think it is always interesting to read something written by non-American writers.

I Went Dancing Again this Week!

2009-06-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

Finally. Finally. I can't express how much I have missed dancing regularly. It was so much fun. Plus, we met another nice couple as well. When life becomes such a grind that there is no time or money to unwind, it is time to find a new life.

Morality 101

2009-05-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

I ran across a fascinating website that helps us explore our concepts of morality based on certain distinctions that have been discovered that separate liberals and conservatives. As I expected, I scored as highly liberal on issues regarding harm and equity and slightly less liberal on the authority/tradition scales. I am a raging liberal with some understanding and appreciation of the current social order. If you want to check yourself out, click the following link:
http://www.yourmorals.org/

Grasping Fish

2009-05-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

One of my blogger profile questions was once "Is that a fish you are standing on?" I loved that profile question and waxed on about how all of life is like standing on fish--slippery, uncertain, soft, living, shifting. I had to smile when I heard that the Maya pictograph for interacting with the divine was a hand grasping a fish. So true--quick like lightening, silver flashing, here, then gone, yet with a feel we will never forget. I love that in Lent we still eat fish and that the early symbol for Christianity was a fish. An ancient goddess was also represented by a fish. Fish, that mysterious creature from another world.

Not Dancing--Still

2009-05-07T07:19:00.001-07:00

Not dancing. We are flat broke. I've contacted local studios to see what their deals are and to see if open dances are available. I am tired of clicking on links only to view woefully out of date calendars (March?) and to find no real information on prices. It seems that the studios are afraid to actually list the cost of the lessons. I've taken lessons for twelve and a half years on and off. I know it is pricey unless you take group classes and like to dance with a lot of strangers (most of whom are nice, but a few of which are creeps who will feel you up, proposition you, and make certain you know the size of their manhood). Do I sound frustrated? A dancer who has spent nearly 8 months primarily watching others dance on television is NOT dancing for joy!

Hanging On

2009-04-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

I let the hubby try a new job in a new place. It meant giving up my good job in the old place. Now his new job is tanking, the old house has not sold, and I am contemplating moving back. I am attempting to think of the last four or five months as an extended, albeit pricey, vacation. Life sometimes doesn't take straight paths and like the stock market, it can tank. The only thing to do is to change the thought processes so that the energy to move on is there.

The Elderly Blind Woman and her Friend

2009-04-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

I danced at a community dance. I knew it would be populated with the aged for three reasons. First, it was held at a community center. Second, the community center is in Florida. Third, the hours were from five p.m. till 7 p.m. But getting in a couple of swings was still nice. Nicer still was watching the elderly blind woman dancing with her friend. She had no concept of how she appeared to others and was fully engaged in the dance. She, and others like her, are what make me less afraid of being the "old-old".

Wonderful Quote from Quoteland about Aging

2009-04-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

I just read a fun (and in my experience, often true) quote from Lee Marvin: "One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet."

I have recently met a few people in their thirties and found them yawningly one dimensional. Now, I am not ready to paint the whole crowd with one wide brush, but over all, I find older people's lives more interesting. Ahh, to look 35 and be as interesting as an octogenarian!

Two Words--Susan Boyles

2009-04-18T18:18:00.001-07:00

The 47 year old singing sensation who wiped the smirks off the faces of the judges and teeny bopper audience members gives hope to all of us who have delayed dreams and not so perfect bodies. Susan Boyles sings for all of us. If you haven't had the opportunity to see this remarkable performance, click on the following: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk
Much has been made of Susan's appearance--not thin, or dyed, or plucked, just naturally herself. Imagine that.

Too Little Dance

2009-04-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

I am dancing far too little now. The weight is creeping up and the stress level is soaring. I haven't been able to afford much dancing lately, and the club I have found has a crowded floor. I am feeling crowded inside too...too many emotions and not enough release.

Community Organizations Need Us!

2009-03-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

I went to a Lions Club fundraiser today and was sad to find myself the youngest one there. The Lions, Kwiannas, etc. do so much good, but younger people (in this context I even mean people in their fourties and fifties) haven't joined. We are busy, two parent working families, blah, blah. We also watch a ton of television. Go out and support a community organization, before our community looses them, and we all loose.

MOTHERS

2009-03-05T05:40:00.000-08:00

The organization MOTHERS "Mothers Ought to have Equal Rights" addresses many concerns of women. The March 4 e-news discusses the ability of women to take off some paid sick days. The comment was made that if we can bail out banks and homeowners, surely we can allow a few paid days for women to take care of their health. I concur. Other topics addressed by this group include family medical leave and child care. MOTHERS@MothersCenter.org Running out of sick days, or worse yet, not having them at all, is something that I have faced as a working mother. It is a terrible bind. Not having sick days at all would be worse. As women, we are often put in family/work/personal binds. It seems many men can escape all of that by deligating the family and many of the personal tasks to us. Lets band together in a spirt of sisterhood and make it known that if doing it all is our task, we need the tools.

He wants WHAT?

2009-02-25T17:32:00.000-08:00

Hubby mentioned having another baby. He must be kidding, right? I'm almost 47 and am looking forward to grandchildren. But I did think about it a bit. My grandmother is still living at almost 93. Though my knees hurt today, I don't think I'm ready to buy the farm quite yet. Ah, the brave new world of extended life spans.

Becoming Part of a Community

2009-02-13T05:11:00.000-08:00

I have recently moved a 22 hour drive from my last place of residence. I have been in my new locale less than a month. I am trying to use what I have learned from past moves to settle in more quickly to my new home. I have joined a church, gotten a library card, gone to a local ballroom dance studio, and joined an online group for my congressional district dedicated to seeking new sources of energy (the Pickens Plan). I have coerced my son into going to youth group, a teen group at the library and of course, sent him to school. Still, I am floundering a bit. While my son and husband go off somewhere each day, I am still looking for work (though I am almost certain I will be working in the insurance industry). That daily connection is missing, and is sorely needed. Connection is what keeps the world from fraying. It binds and weaves us together.