The Heart and Craft of Life Writing

How to Write a Best Selling Memoir in Four Months

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:58:00 +0000

Many memoir authors take ages to write their book. Jeannette Walls took about five years to write The Glass Castle. Other outstanding memoirs that have not made it to the best-seller list — yet — are Linda Joy Myers’ Don’t Call Me Mother, Karen Walker's Following the Whispers, and Heather Cariou’s Sixtyfive Roses. Each of those books reportedly took about twenty years to write.

So how did Sarah Palin manage to crank out Going Rogue (which topped the best-seller list weeks before its release) in only four months?

Answer: she had help, and she is Sarah Palin.

I have not checked for details, but it seems safe to assume that agents and publishers were pestering her with offers months before she committed to writing the book. Another huge advantage she had was a compelling reason to write. For better or worse, whatever personal motivation she may have had, the over-arching importance of this book will be its role as a political platform document, and Sarah is obviously committed to her political career.

My assumption before reading it is that comparing Sarah’s book to writing most readers of this blog will do would be like comparing carrots and kiwi fruit. But even so, there are some valuable lessons to be learned from her process.

She was persistent. According to a report on the Time website, she wrote a four-hundred page draft in four months. Don’t faint. That’s one hundred pages a month, or five pages a day, five days a week. If you just blast out draft without stopping to read, edit, tweak, or obsess, that’s entirely doable, in only a few hours a day, depending on your typing speed.

She had an overriding purpose. I’ll leave it to the pundits to ponder her motivations, but it hardly seems coincidence that hype for this deeply discounted book is hitting the news at the front edge of holiday shopping season and just before next year’s elections begin to heat up.

She had help. I have no idea whether anyone worked with her on her concept and draft, but the TPM LiveWire site reports that she spent much of August in San Diego working with veteran ghost writer, Lynne Vincent. Vincent signed a non-disclosure agreement, but the Time article sheds light on the general process of ghostwriting.

You and I may not be famous, and we may not have the sort of purpose Sarah had, but we can adapt her example and move our projects along with these simple strategies:

Get focused. Being clear on your concept and purpose is a large part of the battle. If you aren’t sure of your focus, jot down the first thing that comes to mind and get started. It’s okay if it evolves as you proceed.

Set a schedule and deadline. You don’t have to write every day, or finish one hundred pages a month. If you can only devote an hour on Sunday afternoons to your writing, make that sacred time and stick to it. Making a personal commitment to having something to show people by a specific date, like your birthday next year, can speed things along. Especially if you tell them about it.

Blast through a draft. This may be the hardest thing for most people to do. Just write. Don’t look back. Don’t even think of rereading or editing until you’ve written at least twenty more pages. Otherwise, you could die with seven pages that you wrote seventy times.

Get help. You may not be able to hire a high profile ghost writer, but you can find a writing group, take a class, or read books on writing. You may be able to afford a few coaching sessions, or help from a reasonably priced editor.

Follow these guidelines and you can follow the example of Paul Ohrman, who wrote his 286 page autobiography, Living to Serve, in just under two years. His second volume, a World War II memoir, took even less time.

Write now: set aside an hour and write a purpose statement for your project, and set up a writing schedule. If you already have a purpose statement and schedule, spend the hour writing. If you are still searching for a concept, do some freewriting to uncover one.

Misplaced Muttering and Mumbling

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:58:00 +0000

To my mind, a character who routinely muttered and mumbled would seem eccentric, to say the least, if not sullen or belligerent. An image that comes to mind is an old estate caretaker, wiry and bent with age, given to conversing with plants as he prunes them. Another is a street person suffering some form of mental illness.

Not long ago I read an adventure novel, which charity demands I refrain from naming. I’ll refer to the author simply as Jane. The two main characters were teenagers of extraordinary intelligence and achievement. The imaginative plot held my interest, but as I read, I quickly became distracted by the number of times these brilliant, well-behaved young people muttered and mumbled. Hardly a page went by without one or another of these words appearing in at least one dialogue tag.

Maybe I would have been less aware of this if I didn’t teach classes in Writing Dynamic Dialogue, but having fairly recently completed an in-depth study of that topic, I took a closer look. I noted that on rare occasions, muttering did seem justified, but each of these circumstances would have been better served by simple whispering, a tag the author rarely used.

I soon realized that Jane had used muttering and mumbling in situations more suited for internal monologue. She did use internall monologue on rare occasions, but not nearly as often as it was called for. I commend Jane for using dialogue rather than expressing the characters’ thoughts as straight narrative. Obviously she took lessons about “showing rather than telling” seriously. Dialogue is a powerful way of “showing,” but not if it results in distracting behavior not in keeping with your character.

Perhaps she heard or read a caution somewhere about limiting use of internal monologue. Although I have never come across such advice, a liberal mixture of internal monologue and standard dialogue could be confusing, with the use of quotation marks seeming almost random, and a manuscript using italics for extensive monologue may look cluttered to some.

In my search for a cure, I found a number of passages where creative editing could allow the main characters to show reactions and perceptions non-verbally rather than using either dialogue or internal monologue. This book was fiction, but memoir writers face the same challenge — to reach beyond the obvious and find innovative ways around the speed bumps that distract readers and cause them to put our volumes aside.

Write now: do some writing practice, filling a page with snippets of random self-talk or internal monologue. Don’t make it one long string — use short pieces, not longer than one line each. When you have half a dozen examples, explore non-verbal ways of demonstrating these thoughts and reactions.

Tribute to a Mentor

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:22:00 +0000

Earlier today I read a review of a book, Muses, Mentors and Monsters, by Elizabeth Benedict. The book features a collection of tributes from thirty writers to mentors who changed their lives. I immediately thought of the mentor who changed my writing life by kicking it off.

Lacking the opportunity to put this into a book, I'll pay tribute here to Larry Sparks, my main mentor while I was an off-campus grad student in the psych department at Central Washington U in the seventies. I doubt I would have made it through the mazes in that program if Larry's office hadn't been available as my centering spot. This gentle balding giant with the translucent cinammon buzzcut and droopy, pale blue eyes constantly urged and teased me to set aside my wild ideas of a counseling career and settle in to write. "You are the best writer I've ever had in any of my classes. That's what you excel at, what you do best. It's something you can do at home with your kids, and you can make (I think he said something like eight or ten cents per word) writing articles."

Larry told me lots of things — taught me lots of things — about life and especially about metaphysics, as he leaned back in his favorite desk chair pose — hands locked behind his head and one foot propped on a knee. He was the one who first introduced me to the "everything matters nothing matters" concept. I always listened, I always heeded, but I was sometimes slow to act and even slower to fully comprehend. I did start writing. I began with short stories. I still have a couple. They were truly pitiful, but I had no guidance. No classes. No books on how to write. No writers' group.. I wasn't about to show them to anyone! And it was hard to knock off the crust academic and case history writers develop that makes it second nature to weasel word and document everything. No original, definitive opinions allowed. Leave your self at the door and stick to the facts.

I did keep writing, scaling my ambitions back to local rather than national publications. I turned to reporting rather than fiction and served as a major contributor and Editor-in-Chief for a friend's regional advertising-supported women's newsletter. Getting positive feedback from people I hardly knew, I gradually built up a respectable portfolio and transitioned into business writing. I began to study the craft of writing and implement what I learned.

All this while I stayed in touch with Larry. Long after my last visit to campus, my move to Pennsylvania, and his retirement, I continued to find comfort in his teasing approbation. About the time I began seriously writing, life writing, and my heart kicked into the process, we gradually lost contact. It's been about ten years since our email exchange fizzled. But his warm, loving smile and gentle chuckle always lurk near the surface of awareness. In spite of the lack of active contact, I still feel connected. I'm sure that on some level he knows what I'm up to even now, and is still smiling and chuckling as he lounges in his recliner, gazing at the vast eternal reach of the Columbia River flowing through the desert wilderness of eastern Washington.

Would I have begun writing if I Larry Sparks had not entered my life? Quite possibly not. I do believe he made that difference in my life, steered me onto what I know is "my path." I'm enormously grateful for his presence, wish him well, and thank him from the bottom of my heart for believing in me, then, now and always.

Write now: a tribute to a mentor (writing or otherwise) or any person who changed your life for the better or exerted a significant influence. If it's possible, share a copy with that person.

National Day on Writing

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:10:00 +0000

Photo by Churl

A new tradition is being established today — the National Day on Writing, officially recognized by the US Senate. It officially began at 12:01 EDT today. Every citizen is encouraged to submit a piece of writing, This may be anything from a polished story or poem to a shopping list.

According to an article in today’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette,

Danielle Koupf, a doctoral student in English at the University of Pittsburgh, is trying to collect "scrap writing" in her gallery, including lists, sticky notes, homemade signs, letters and journal entries in order to "showcase the unacknowledged, ephemeral writing the pervades ordinary life."

Memoir and other life writers may be especially interested in a special page on the National Association of Memoir Writers site that include an interview with founder Linda Joy Myers.

Rather than dwell on the details, I encourage everyone to click over the the Post-Gazette page, the NAMW page, and the official National Day of Writing site for more information and details on how to submit your piece of writing as a legacy for the future, to create writing community right now, and to inspire others to write.

Write now: something — story, essay, poem, list, journal entry — to share with the world and submit it to the site.

When You're Feeling Stuck

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 14:15:00 +0000

I’m stuck. At a dead end. At my wits’ end! I do not know how to handle this new writing challenge.

This challenge is writing code for a new web page design that has become an obsession. I am determined to make it work, though it is beyond what I currently know how to do. I’ve got the basic structure in place, and just discovered one fatal design flaw. I know it can be done. I’ve seen the concept elsewhere.

Right now I’m exploring my options for forging ahead and see that they are not much different for writing code than they would be if I were stuck writing a story that was mired down. As I see it the options include:

Continue by trial-and-error. I know a lot already, and sooner or later I’m bound to stumble on a solution.
Keep surfing the net in search of solutions. That’s how I learned most of what I know.
Find a book. I can learn nearly anything by reading about it, and the library is full of books.
Take a class. I love classes. I learn from the questions other people ask as well as from the teacher’s presentations.
Find a support group. This could be anything from a friend who knows more about this than I do to an on-line forum.
Find a coach. This could be the fastest way to get exactly the information I need, presented in a way that next time I’ll know how to do it myself. This is a tempting option, and in some cases the best one.

If I were writing a story, the options would be the same: keep writing, read books, take classes, find a support group (writing group), find a coach, or pay a pro.

In my case now I’m going to keep surfing, work through a couple of online tutorials, and post my questions on a couple of support forums. I’m in a hurry. But I’ll also look for a class to broaden my base of knowledge, and look for a book on Cascading Style Sheets.

If you are feeling stuck with a writing project, please join us at the Life Writers Forum by entering your name in the form in the left sidebar or visiting the group’s signup page. Check out the list of NAMW writing classes and teleseminars. Or send me an e-mail for some free advice on your own options.

Write now: make a list of writing skills you’d like to strengthen, then list your options for learning what you need to know to keep your writing growing and thriving.

The Importance of Correct Punctuation

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:51:00 +0000

Photo by Liz West from Flickr.com

Words are the raw ingredients of communication. When we speak, we use inflection and pauses (together with facial expression and body language when we have visual contact) to add layers of meaning to the words. On the page, punctuation serves the same purpose.

Just as tone of voice may vary to suit the speaker’s intent, so might punctuation. Compare these two examples to see what a difference punctuation can make.

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy—will you let me be yours?
Gloria

* * *

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

The exact same words convey diametrically different messages with a change of punctuation. In this case the difference was intentional. In real life (read "your writing") inadvertent omissions or errors may cause unintentional confusion. It’s worth investing a little time in boning up on punctuation basics to avoid mishaps and misunderstandings.

That leads me to some shameless self-promotion. One of the unique features of my book, The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, is a brief, but comprehensive guide to all the punctuation you need for writing life stories, essays or memoir. It’s conveniently arranged in table format with brief examples to show how each rule works. That chapter also includes an overview of basic grammar and other ways to avoid confusion and convey the message you intend.

You don’t need to buy the book unless you want to take advantage of the comprehensive set of other writing tools it includes. You can track down the punctuation information for free on any of hundreds of Internet sites, or you may already have a book that covers it extensively. The advantage of my book is having it all at your fingertips on just a few pages. However you get it, whatever your resource, do take a few minutes to bone up and give your words the polish they deserve.

Write now: pull out a story you wrote a few months ago. Check to see if all the commas are right, using whatever resources you have available, web or print. How about the dialogue? (You did use dialogue, right?) Is it punctuated correctly?

Mamma Mia: Memoir Model

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:15:00 +0000

Which came first, the Abba tunes or the musical plot? We all know the answer to that. The tunes in the musical Mamma Mia were hits in the years 1977-1982. Although the concept for the musical obviously came somewhat earlier, work on it did not begin until 1997, fifteen years after the last songs were released, and the movie wasn’t released until nine years after the stage play opened in 1999.

Anyone who has seen this musical surely noticed how the two dozen tunes integrate so seamlessly with the plot that anyone who wasn’t already familiar with the tunes could logically assume they were written for the purpose. Aside from incorporating voices of the actors and slight adaptations to segue them into the plot in places, changes to the original tunes were so minor as to be imperceptible.

So why do I claim this totally fictitious, over-the-top comedy musical is a model for writing memoir? Precisely because it takes isolated fragments of story (each song is a tiny story) and pulls them together into a coherent overall story, woven together with some added narrative to give setting, context, and consistent meaning. Furthermore, the songs are used quite randomly, not at all in the order they were written.

Some people plan and outline a memoir before beginning to write. That’s a reasonable and productive way to go about the project, but it’s definitely not the only way. As I point out in The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, your story and your approach to managing writing projects are as personal as your finger print. You need to find your own style, honor it and stick with it. Probably more people begin by creating a random stack of completed vignette stories than by planning.

Mamma Mia, the musical or movie, is a source of great hope that you can consolidate stories into a larger memoir just as Judy Craymer and her team consolidated selected Abba tunes into a cohesive production story. And maybe you can have as much fun doing it, and find as much humor in life as they did.

It’s worth noting that Abba recorded over 100 songs, but only two dozen appear in the stage or movie productions. Likewise, if you have a stack of 100 stories, you’ll only include the ones relating to your specified theme or purpose for your larger story, keeping others as “singles” or material for a later project.

So, take a fun lesson from a funny movie and work on your own story.

Write now: check out a copy of Mama Mia from your local library (or order it from Netlix or wherever). As you watch, pay attention to the way the stories are woven into the story line, and how narrative provides the thread for holding these beads together. Then get out your pile of stories and cluster them into themes. When you find one you like, work on weaving the stories into a comprehensive whole.

Turn Your Story Inside Out

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:52:00 +0000

Sometimes you have to turn a story inside out to find the real one.

Angela, a writing group friend, has been struggling with a story that just didn’t seem to be going anywhere. “It doesn’t have any tension,” she observed. “Nothing is really happening. Nobody would read more than a page or two.”

“So, why did you write this story? Why is it important to you?” another member asked.

Angela’s voice was tentative as she began to explain. When she got to one element she had stashed in a single paragraph near the end, she exclaimed, “I really have two stories here!” A jolt of electricity pulsed through the group.

We realized that her true and powerful story is buried deep inside the presenting story. That tiny seed of real story is where all the conflict and tension is, and the outer story seems almost dead, because it is only a shell. After Angela pulls the true story into the dominant position and gives it proper attention, the dull part will become relevant and lively.

A mental movie ran through my mind. I saw a cylindrical drawstring bag made of filmy pastel silk print. It was a little wider than a fist, and deep enough to bury a hand well past the wrist. I reached into the dark depths of the bag, relishing the feel of rich velvety softness. I felt a lump attached to the bottom. When I pulled to remove the lump, the bag inverted. A rich black velvet bag now encased the silk one. A velvet-wrapped lump lay in my hand, well-padded and still hidden. It turned out to be a large jewel, sparkling in sunlight.

Thinking about the image of that bag, I recognize it as a metaphor. The original ephemeral story, bland and sweet, was hiding a true and powerful one. The bag hid and padded the jewel, removing the life that light imparts to it, and keeping it secret.

Why would you hide a jewel, I wondered. You may hide it to protect it — from thieves, dust, getting lost — and to keep its sharp facets from scratching things. Maybe you hide it because you don’t want to seem like a show off, have no place to wear it, or don’t think it’s real.

You may even hide it because it’s magic and you fear its power. Angela's Inner Censor may have hidden it without her knowing. Or — you may not have realized the bag was magic! It was a lovely bag the way it was. Who knew treasures lurked in its depths?

Angela's enthusiasm grew as she discussed her plans for revision, and I have no doubt that the new version will crackle with tension and energy.

Besides the jewel, that magic bag held some writing tips. If you are struggling with a story

Ask yourself, Why did I write this story? What matters? What’s the real story here?
You’ll know when you find the real story. You’ll experience a surge of energy and excited recognition.
Find a good writing group or writing buddy to help you discover your treasures.
Be patient. You won’t find your jewel until it’s ready to be found.

Sometimes the best stories are hidden inside our old ones.

Write now: pull out an old story that you struggled with, one that seems dull and boring. Ask yourself that key question, Why did I write this? Keep digging until you hit some hard, glittering truth that fires your heart with enthusiasm. Let the new energy guide you to your real true story.

Beyond All the Words

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:19:00 +0000

Beyond all the words is a place of great silence.

I recently read this sentence (or one much like it). I wish I remembered the source, but all I recall is being struck by its simple profundity. The context referred to endless talking, but my mind instantly shifted to writing.

Serious life writers, whatever form we choose, may find ourselves awash on a sea of our words. We write story after story, journal day-by-day. Words fall from fingers like autumn leaves from the tree of life.

I write, as many others do, not only to leave a legacy of personal and family history for future generations, not only to share with friends I know and haven’t yet met, but for understanding and insight. Journal entries, vignettes, essays, scribbled diagrams and mindmaps — these are all dots of understanding. Eventually dots connect into pictures, words into stories, and stories into understanding.

Until I read about the place of great silence, I assumed my words would pile up forever, and to what avail? Not even I will ever reread all the words I’ve written. So, what’s the point?

Now I see the point: to get to the place of great silence: a place of peace, beyond all the words. This place of great silence is surely the place meditators seek, the “peace that passes understanding.” I see it as a place where all the dots merge into a single source of perfect light, a place of wholeness, beyond understanding.

My word pile will continue to grow, as long as I draw breath. I love to write. Writing anchors my thoughts, stills and orders them. My words are stones on a path to understanding, but understanding is not the ultimate goal. That place of great silence, the place beyond understanding, beckons me with the promise of joyfully bright completion. I can go there right now. And come back to write again — until I’m ready to stay.

Write now: about your purpose for writing and what you hope to find beyond all the words.

Your Own Magic Crystal Ball

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 21:35:00 +0000

Imagine that you have a magic crystal ball that sees the past as well as the future, able to change the shape and color of events. The other day I was blessed with such an experience, though the ball was nowhere to be found.

It happened in the early morning as I wrote in my journal. As my coffee began to kick in and my fingers limbered, I began writing about a person from my school years, someone I’ve always believed “made my life miserable.” I’ve even been known to claim (only partly in jest) that said person “ruined my life.” Suddenly I dropped my pencil as a voice in my head blurted out a startling message:

She didn’t ruin your life. She didn’t even make you miserable. If anything ruined your life, it was the way you compared yourself to her and came up short in your own view. Plus the way she had a few people skills you hadn’t yet learned. But that had nothing to do with her and everything to do with you. Besides, was your life really ruined, or simply nudged around an inevitable corner?

You know that feeling, that great big, whack on the side of the head “DUH!” moment? I had one of those moments. Had anyone been watching, I would have been the classic image of shock. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. I simultaneously felt a surge of energized excitement and a wave of relaxation. My shoulders dropped as if a huge load had lifted, and I sank deeply into my chair. “Wow!” I said, in a loud whisper so as not to awaken my still-slumbering spouse. “Wow!” What other word would do?

With that thunderous insight, whole chapters of my life flipped into a new configuration as quickly as if I’d clicked on “re-sort,” and my understanding of the peculiar relationship I’d had with this classmate flipped 180º. Suddenly all was very right with my world — or I should say even more right. I knew more certainly than ever that everything in my life has happened specifically to bring me to here, to now, and that’s a very good thing. Some would say healing occurred. Perhaps. I call it growth in understanding.

Would I have come to this understanding without my journaling practice? Maybe. Would I have thought of this if I didn’t spend time writing stories about my life? Could be. One can never be fully certain of things like this. Obviously sages through the ages have acquired great wisdom through mediums other than writing, but there is no question that the discipline of journaling and related forms of life writing will increase the odds.

This discovery is not something I had consciously sought. For over half a century I had taken that relationship and analysis for granted. Why change the story now? That is indeed magic. It’s a blessing, and although I didn’t seek it, I did set the stage by sitting here, day after day, with my hand moving a pencil across the page. Without question, writing about the person opened this door.

If I could give everyone in the world a gift, I would give them a journal with an endless supply of pages, a pencil with a perpetual point, and the desire to write.

Write now: about a pesky relationship from your past. Do it as freewriting, leaving your mind open to the possibility that you may have something to learn. But don’t do it with expectations — just hang loose and see where it goes. At the very least, you’ll have the makings of a story on that topic if you want to continue writing about it.

Interview with Heather Summerhayes Cariou

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:50:00 +0000

Heather Summerhayes Cariou's book, Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister's Memoir, is not new to this blog. I published a review of in on Amazon back in June introduced here by a post on June 2, and I've referred to it a couple of times since.

There is much to appreciate in this book, and two of them are especially relevant to the classes I teach on writing sparkling description and dynamic dialogue. Heather is a master of both. Today Heather has agreed to be my guest for the second in a series of mini-interviews especially for readers of The Heart and Craft of Life Writing.

In this interview, Heather explains how she was able to craft compelling descriptions of places from times long past and dialogue about events that happened thirty or forty years ago. As a bonus for listeners, she gives several tips that will help anyone with writing dialogue, description, or really anything.

The interview lasts for 14 minutes. You can listen on the player below, or click the link to download it for listening on your mp3 player.

Download file

Write now: listen to the interview and try Heather's tip on using poetry to loosen up your creative right brain.

Watershed Memories

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:22:00 +0000

Photo by Slagheap at www.flickr.com

This morning I jotted down some memories of September 11 in my journal. As I wrote, I thought of the intense fear the occasion called forth, the fear that life as we had known it had crumbled as surely as the Twin Towers.

That triggered a related memory of a day a couple of years later when I experienced a blinding flash of the obvious, realizing in an instant that hate is not the opposite of love, FEAR is the opposite of love. I felt those shackles of fear break free as divine, sublime love flowed into my being. My spirit soared in awe and gratitude. For several days I floated on a cloud of bliss, feeling free and strong, exploring the plethora of ramifications of this blessed “knowing.”

I wish I could tell you I've been 100% confident and joyful ever since. Not so. I still get the willies now and then about one thing or another. It may be news related, like the situation in Iraq or healthcare reform, or it may be more personal, such as family illness. The onset of dread can come from any direction. But having been freed from chronic fear, I sense it early and am increasingly more able to nip it in the bud, reminding myself, “Things always work out okay in the end. Chill!”

Could I have understood this earlier in my life? I don't think so. I needed the data and experience to prepare me to understand and “get it.” But the delay in learning has made the realization that much more precious.

These memories, of the events and fear related to 9/11, and the experience of instant insight, are prime examples of watershed or landmark memories. They have had a major effect on my life, shaping it dramatically. Such memories form columns supporting the structure of memoir. I am compiling a list of these memories and arranging them on a timeline. They are transition points in my spiritual growth. Other memories about the impact of these insights and how they shaped my further life can be woven together to form walls and a roof linking all the columns together into a completed story.

That’s a long-term project. For now I’m writing short pieces about each watershed memory. That will anchor them and keep them fresh for when I’m ready to assemble the long version. And/or in case that day never comes.

Write now: list several watershed memories in your life. These may be about fear, your spiritual development, or anything else you want to contemplate and come to grips with. Pick one or two and write a couple of paragraphs or a full story or essay. Or make a mindmap of related memories. File the material away for future use.

A Worthy Aspiration

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:39:00 +0000

What more worthy aspiration could writers have than to hope their stories will sound fresh and new more than sixty years after they were written? Such is the case with Mrs. Mike, the true-to-life story of Boston-born Katharine Mary O’Malley. In 1907, when she was only sixteen, she was sent to live with her uncle on his ranch north of Calgary to recover from pleurisy. Shortly after her arrival, she met Sergeant Mike Flannigan, a red-coasted Mountie and they were soon married.

The rest of the book details the story of the first few years of their marriage as they faced the rigors of frontier life in the northern reaches of western Canada. She survives ferocious fire, virulent epidemics, mammoth mosquitoes, brutal winters, and tensions between whites and natives, along with personal tragedy and triumph.

This book is written in first person, in the style of a memoir, but the authors of record are Nancy and Benedict Freedman. The Freedmans met Kathy Flannagan in California where she moved shortly after Mike’s death in 1933. They were so touched and inspired by the tales she told that they immediately began to turn her story into this fictionalized account of the “true” story. The first printing hit the shelves in 1947.

I discovered the book while sorting through a pile of discards set aside for donation to the annual library booksale. It looked perfect for reading while recovering from a nasty cold. I enjoy reading novels from the early 1900s because of their generally quaint and simplistic plots and language.

To my delight, it quickly became apparent that this book is an exception. The plot is anything but simplistic, filled with spectacular scenes. The writing is masterful, with crisply defined characters, dynamic dialogue and richly sensual description. It sounds as fresh and current as if it had been written in 2002, the most recent year it was republished. No wonder it has sold millions of copies and been continuously in print all these years.

Perhaps the greatest lesson from this enduring tale is that great writing is timeless. Whether you aspire to international prominence as a writer, or merely want to increase the chances that your family will keep copies of your life story around for a few generations, honing your structure, scene writing, character development, description, dialogue and wordcrafting skills is a great investment of effort.

By the way, if you want to read more about the history of this novel, its power to change lives, and the people who wrote it, check out this article in O, the Oprah Magazine.

Write now: read a novel or memoir that’s at least 60 years old and compare writing styles from then to now. What has changed? What sounds the same? How might you improve the book?

Memories I Wish I Had

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:01:00 +0000

Clothespin dolls, by Sharon

I wish I remembered clothespin dolls. I'm surprised I don't. They are exactly the sort of craft that I began learning about the time I was weaned and potty-trained and enjoyed ever after. Maybe it's because spring clothespins had come into widespread use by the time I was born. Had I known about them when I was around ten years old, I would have spent weeks making them, creating shoebox homes for them.

It's not too late. I have discovered clothespin dolls now, and found a new purpose for them. I made six to be shared among the tiny granddaughters who are about to arrive for a visit and a couple of local friends. What fun I've had making them. If it weren't for the press of time, I'd make another dozen. What fun I've had, raiding my dwindling scrap bags of yarn and fabric, devising ways to make hair, crafting wee dresses. I feel like a kid again!

Not only have I made up for the memory I don't have, I hope I'm creating memories for future generations. Realizing the importance of memories better than I did even when my own children were young, I'm determined to create wonderful Grandmama memories with my grandchildren. Considering they all live at least five hours away by air, that takes some doing.

Isn't that just the greatest thing about life writing? It can make us aware of the future and our ability to create the future as well as helping us explore the past.

Write now: make a list of memories you wish you'd had. Turn that list into a second list of wishes. Take one wish and write about how you can make it come true.

Superior Scribbler Award

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:34:00 +0000

Who doesn’t love to get an award? I know I do. I was honored and delighted to receive the Superior Scribble Award from Karen Walker, author of Following the Whispers. I was totally blown away a few days later, before I had accepted it from Karen, to receive it once again from Kim Pearson, author of From the Compost.

I appreciate this award all the more for the fact it is so unexpected. I hadn’t ever heard of it. It’s especially rewarding to receive spontaneous recognition. And I love that awards like this foster a sense of community and connection in the blogsophere.

One of the requirements of accepting the award is that you pass it along to pay tribute to five other noteworthy bloggers. Since I received the award twice, I shall issue a double helping of tribute (in no particular order). This makes the process a little easier, but I know of so many fine blogs, and the choice was still agonizing.

Drum roll, please ... and the winners are ...

Pat, At Pat’s Place
Joy Hedlund, On the Path
Linda Austin, Cherry Blossom Memories
Hill Country Hippy, Seasonality
Shaddy, Paper Cut Screams
Jerry Waxler, Memory Writers Network
Ybonesy and Quoinmonkey, redRavine
Terrisa Meeks, Just Write
Linda Hoye, My Own Velvet Room
Gullible, Gullible’s Travels

Congratulations to each of these fine bloggers. I love all your blogs.

Here are the rules for Passing on the Superior Scribbler Award:

Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author and the name of the blog from whom he/she has received the Award.
Each Superior Scribbler must display the Award on his/her blog, and link to this post, (http://scholastic-scribe.blogspot.com/2008/10/200-this-blings-for-you.html) which explains the Award.
Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Thank you, thank you, Karen and Kim, for bestowing this honor in recognition of the efforts I make as I follow my passion.

Write now: a story about an award you won, even if it was something as humble as placing third in the fourth grade spelling bee. Or, write about one you hoped to win and didn’t.

Don't Wait Until It's Too Late

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Write now!

Every time the phone rings, my heart goes into my mouth. Is this the call? The one nobody wants to make or receive?

A dear friend will make the call. Her daughter lies at death’s door, feeling the gauzy wisps of that final veil. It’s a matter of hours or days. Two years ago she was diagnosed with glioblastoma, the same malignant brain tumor that took Teddy Kennedy’s life yesterday.

Jen leaves behind two little girls, who just turned five and seven. Last spring, as she began having trouble finding words to express herself, she determined to write letters to each of her girls, letting them know how much she loved them, the beautiful things she remembered, the joy they have brought to her life, and her hopes for theirs. She wanted to leave them a legacy of her own thoughts and some of her memories of growing up.

It was too late. She was unable to even begin this project, not even with a video camera instead of her laptop.

Jen is young. She and my daughter were high school classmates. Nobody under the age of forty expects the road to be that short, and if people in those prime years think at all of writing about their lives, it’s generally in the sense of “I wish my grandparents would (have).”

Those grandparents, if they are still living, may be intending to do that. As soon as they get around to it. Any day now. Many have died with that intention unrealized.

Today that hesitancy, that reluctance, seems especially poignant. Today as I wait for that phone call, my throat is constricted with urgency. I want to holler from the rooftops:

Pick up those pens. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, syntax, or any of those things you learned in school. Just WRITE. Write now! It doesn’t have to be long or polished, but tell people a little about yourself, and above all, tell them you love them! Give them the gift of yourself and your memories. Before it’s too late!

To help you get started, I included a gift at the top of the page: a Round Tuit. Use it in good health.

Write now: pick up a pen and paper. If all you can find is the back of junk mail, so be it. Start writing. Leave a few words behind, whatever comes to your mind. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Update: The call came shortly after I posted this. By the way, if you need a Round Tuit, I stamped out the one in the picture myself, and it's my gift to you, copy-right free with no strings attached. Click on the image to get the full-size version, right-click to save, and pass it around. Everybody needs one.

Dialogue: The Writer's Swiss Army Knife

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:46:00 +0000

here

Photo from Victorinox

The more I study the topic of writing dialogue, the more convinced I’ve become that dialogue is the writer’s Swiss Army Knife. You don’t have to know what all the other tools on the knife are for if all you want to do is whittle the tip of a willow pole for roasting a marshmallow. But it’s handy to know about the tweezers when someone gets a splinter, and the little scissors are a godsend for snipping off loose threads and hangnails. Screwdrivers come in handy every now and then, and so it goes. Swiss Army knives prune, snip, and open all sorts of things, and so does dialogue.

Even those of us who are fortunate enough to have dialogue pour forth naturally can benefit from learning more about the functions it serves, and how it works. Some of these functions include

Setting a mood
Concisely conveying information
Adding rhythm and color
Developing character
And more

Even if you include dialogue in your initial draft (most people don’t), you are likely to overlook hidden opportunities to put it to best use. Do you know the secret signals for sliding it in the perfect spots? I don’t think you’ll find that answer on the Internet. How do you make it clear who is speaking without including the name every time? Do you know when to use single quotes and when to use double? Should you write about the voices in your head, and the conversations they have? What about the accuracy of the words you put in the mouths of other people?

Ever since I announced this class and the preview call, questions on that last topic have been pouring in. Truth in Dialogue seems to be the number one concern of memoir writers. I will address that topic in the preview call, so be sure to click over to the NAMW site and register for the call before it begins at 6 pm eastern time, Wednesday, August 26. If you register, you’ll receive a link to download the recording, so you won’t miss the call even if you can’t dial in live.

I’ve also written a guest post on this topic which will appear the day of the call on Karen Walker’s Following the Whispers blog.

Please join me on the call, in the class, and over at Karen’s blog to learn more about adding dynamic dialogue to your stories.

Write now: write a story and include as much dialogue as you can recall. If you don't remember what people said, write whatever you think they would have said. Don't worry if you aren't 100% accurate. Just write it!

Layers of Life

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 01:09:00 +0000

The onion is often used as a metaphor for self-discovery. I first heard it used that way in 1979 during a conversation with a social worker. “Just as I think I finally know the essence of who I am, I discover another layer. It's like peeling another layer from on onion.”

I’ve often pondered this metaphor through the years, considering that at the center of the onion, there is nothing but . . . more onion. Is that all there is? I wonder. Just more onion? More “me”?

A small matroyshka doll sitting on a shelf in my office recently caught my eye. I bought a bag of them from a street vendor in St. Petersburg a few years ago, and haven’t paid much attention since. I picked the doll up and gently twisted her open, removing the smaller one, and another, and . . . five dolls in all, the center one about the size of a dried pinto bean.

Now that’s a better metaphor, I thought. Each doll is similar to the one it nests inside, but each also has a distinct personality. There is something new to discover as I continue to open the dolls.

Whether you think in terms of onion, matroyshka dolls, or some other metaphor, I encourage you to explore the colorfully complex layers of your life and memories.

There is no magic formula for this. The best way I have found is to ask myself questions as I write in my journal.

Typical questions are “What does this mean?” and “What else could it mean?” Or, “How do I feel about that?” Or, “What can I learn from this?” Keep asking this sort of question until you run out of answers. You’ll be amazed at the thoughts that spring to mind! The process works especially well when you follow the freewriting guidelines: keep your hand moving and never let your pen or pencil leave the page.

This intuitive exercise has at least two layers of benefits. First, you’ll make fascinating discoveries about how you think, and what you believe is True. Your thinking and understanding will become more clear, and you’ll also get juicy material for your stories.

Just one caveat: if your Inner Critic tries to intervene, send her to her room. Don't let her deter you from following this trail through to the end.

Write now: grab your journal, some scratch paper, or you keyboard and write about a memory, preferably a succulent one that still puzzles you. Use one or more of the questions above to explore the situation in depth, striving to uncover several layers of thought about the matter.

Connecting Dots

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:16:00 +0000

Generated by Stellarium 0.10.2

The urge to use stories to make sense of our lives and share them with others is hardwired into the human brain. Some of us write these stories, others tell them. Some of the stories are public, some are intensely private, told only to ourselves. Whatever their form or level of disclosure, we all have stories, and we begin telling them as language dawns.

In Child Development, Second Edition: A Practitioner's Guide, Douglas Davies states, “The stories of 2-year-olds...use narrative language to bring a personal sense of order and understanding to their experience.” He includes a transcripted story recorded by the parents of 28-month-old Emily. Her elaborate tale organized her understanding of a trip to the beach the following day.

My daughter was telling stories well before her second birthday. The first I remember was one she told me when she was 18 or 20 months old, as I was tucking her in: “Daddy go Dibby house. Play bridge.” She needed to explain why Daddy wasn't there for a night-night hug that night. That same daughter now shares her tiny girls'stories.

Using stories to make sense of the world and cosmos goes back to the dawn of civilization. All cultures have some story of origin, and stories of gods, reasons and seasons. We are reminded of these stories every time we look at the stars and see Orion, or the Dippers. The Greeks and Romans concocted elaborate myths around clusters of stars that they designated as constellations.

Constellations are a perfect metaphor for stories, because they involve connecting dots to create structures of meaning and insight. Toddlers use dots of knowledge, connecting them to build a structure for understanding life and self and make it predictable. Early man connected dots of light to explain the gods and cosmic events, and to find their way around the earth. Twelve constellations are still studied by students of the Zodiac to predict and explain world and personal events and make decisions.

Modern people have not changed so much as we might think from ancient times or early life. We still tell stories, to ourselves and each other. We tell them socially, on cell phones, by e-mail and by Tweeting. We tell them to friends. We tell them to strangers. Both stories and understanding grow and develop in the telling.

But told stories are soon forgotten. What better way to make enduring sense of our own lives than to get our fingers around a pen or on a keyboard and make some dots of memory visible, then connect those dots and develop a durable story? That's what memoir is all about ̶ compiling chaotic, random memories into a coherent, organized story that deepens our understanding and awareness of life, heals mind, body and soul, and gives us much to be grateful for ̶ and creates a legacy of story for future generations.

Write now: explore some of the stories you have written and look for dots of shared content that can be connected to create themes and structure.

Input Requested

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:54:00 +0000

I could sit here and bang away on my keyboard til the cows come home, and someone is likely to want to read some of it. But I just experienced a blinding flash of the obvious: without readers, this blog has no purpose, so keeping you happy and interested by answering your questions and providing helpful information is at the core of my purpose. If I really want this blog to be helpful, I should get some input from you about questions you have. Here's your big chance to help shape the future of this blog, and to have all your questions answered (or at least acknowledged).

Please dear readers, whether you are reading this post while it's still fresh, or come across it months or years later, take a moment to post a comment with feedback on

A question about any aspect of life writing, or an observation you have.
Have you written something and would like to be interviewed for a blog post? Let me know, in a comment, or a private e-mail.
Suggested links (your own or others).
Suggestions for improving the layout.
Anything else?

I thank you in advance for your input and look forward to a rich source of inspiration from your comments!

Write now: a comment based on the above guidelines.

Joining the Uncopyright Revolution

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 11:22:00 +0000

A year and a half ago, Leo Babauta, author the the ZenHabits blog, signed on as a soldier in a revolution — the uncopyright revolution. I came upon this concept only a couple of days ago in a post entitled Grab and Run: The Great Uncopyright Experiment on Mary Jaksch’s Goodlife Zen blog. If you have any interest in copyright matters, I urge you to read both Leo’s and Mary’s posts. They may change your life.

I’ve already discussed copyright on this blog twice this year. In March, I posted an article explaining the basics of copyright law and associated ethics. That post was prompted by the dismay a friend felt after discovering that whole posts from her blog had been pirated and reposted by a woman she had inspired to begin blogging, and whom she considered a friend.

Two weeks ago I wrote about the resulting fiasco after Amazon arbitrarily pulled George Orwell’s works out of all accessible Kindles that had purchased the work. At bottom, that mess resulted from violation of copyright law. Orwell has been dead for nearly sixty years, and his works are in the public domain nearly everywhere else in the world. Animal Farm was written in 1945 and Nineteen Eight-Four in 1949, shortly before his death. You can download the text of either book from the Internet, but not legally in this country.

I won’t go into those legalities other than to say they make me nuts! I think it’s insane that if 49 years after I die, someone picks up something I wrote, finds it inspiring, and wants to share it with the world, they can’t do it, because it's still protected by copyright. Even my kids are likely to be gone by then, maybe even my grandchildren, but my estate is still protected. Whoopee! Who are the winners here?

Furthermore, I have long believed that all inspiration comes from the same Source, and there is nothing exclusive about it. I’ve learned and benefited enormously from the works of others, incorporating their thoughts into my own and building on them. I’ve always believed that I “owe back to the pot” at least to the extent I've been fed from it; that the world will be a richer place if creative people cross-pollinate by freely sharing ideas, even to the extent of copying; and that if I become protective and proprietary about whatever small amount of wisdom I may have accrued, the creative part of my mind will soon be Saharan.

Please do not take this to mean that I advocate copying. The exercise involved in putting your own spin and personal touch on ideas you value helps cement them in your mind and keeps your brain healthy. I don’t even share links to things without adding a few words to explain why I find them valuable. But if you sincerely believe you don’t have any value to add, by all means, pass material along — with a link back, please.

So when I read Mary’s post and tracked back to find Leo’s, I thought Oh yes! That’s IT! I’ll do that too. Like them, I declare my blog Public Domain. As you'll see from the notice in the left sidebar, I've taken that step. You are welcome to copy, adapt, and build on articles found in this blog as you wish. That being done, I hope that if you do copy or adapt from it, you’ll link back and identify the source. Crediting source material publicly affirms your integrity and generates good karma. And I hope you’ll let me know so I can smile with grateful satisfaction, knowing yet more people are finding my work valuable and inspiring.

Write now: about your feelings around copyright and ownership of words and ideas. Do you feel proprietary about your work, or welcome others to share?

Teachable Moments

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:26:00 +0000

Today’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette features a story, Looking to Impart a Lesson, that discusses President Obama’s White House meeting “over a cool one” with Harvard professor Henry Gates and Boston Police Sgt. James Crowley scheduled for later today. Author Sally Kalson includes a quote from Ellen DeBeneditti, training coordinator for conflict resolution and mediation services of the Center for Victims of Violence and Crime:

“What could come out of this meeting, if it's done well, is that both sides have a better understanding of where the other one is coming from . . . resolution is not the only good outcome. Increased understanding of the other person's perceptions is also good. If there's a sense that you've been heard and gotten your point across, it's easier to be receptive to hearing the other person.”

Figures in the public spotlight are not the only ones with differing viewpoints and “teachable moments”. Families and community groups encounter these differences all the time, and life writing has something to offer in these situations. Writing and sharing stories of events in our lives, especially the touchy ones, is a powerful way of getting incidents out on the table where they can be aired and understood, paving the way for increased mutual understanding and respect.

Two things happen when you write a story. First, by getting your thoughts on paper, you make them visible and begin to forge them into a narrative, weaving them together in a more coherent fashion. Many people find things make more sense when their thoughts are out there, visible on the page, either in print or on the screen.

Second, it provides a way of getting the whole story out before discussion begins. A frequent response from a family member who reads a story of some past conflict or event is “I had no idea you felt that way,” or “I didn’t realize it affected you that way.” Had the matter been brought up in conversation, there are any number of reasons the account may have stopped short of full disclosure.

I hope today’s beer bash will indeed result in increased understanding and respect, but regardless of the outcome, I hope you’ll use your own life stories to build increased understanding and respect within your families and community groups.

Write now: about a tense situation you encountered with a family member. It may be recent or long past. The to best of your ability and memory, include your perceptions and reactions. Tell how you felt about the situation. When you finish editing the story to your satisfaction, share it with one or more family members and wait for their responses. Hopefully you'll all come to a better understanding of each other's sensitivites and points of view.

An Ethical Dilemma?

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:02:00 +0000

Considering my recent admonition that reading great works of memoir and fiction are the best do-it-yourself writing workshop you can find — at no cost if you have a library card — a recent fiasco involving the Amazon Kindle caught my eye. As a disclaimer, I should begin by stating that in spite of recognizing their convenience factor, I do not own a Kindle, nor have I ever had plans to buy one.

Part of this reluctance stems from the price. Only a small part. A much larger part stems from the fact that I realized I would not own the books I bought. I owned only the right to read them. I could not pass them along to a friend or relative. I could not donate them to the library or sell them at a garage sale. I couldn’t use sticky flags to mark sections I wanted to note for future reference (I respond best to visual cues), and I couldn’t run selected pages through the copier.

A third part relates to the first. I’m a library addict. If my local library doesn’t have a book I want to read, they can get it through Inter Library Loan. This is my personal plan to live within my means, avoid cluttered shelves, and “read green.” Not only do I save dollars and shelf space, but library funding is based on Use It or Lose It. Circulation figures weigh heavily, and not just in Pennsylvania where the Neanderthal governor and state legislature is threatening to cut library funding by 50%, sending us back toward the stone age.

Yep. I’m a geek who loves techno toys, but the Kindle did not make the cut. Neither did the Sony, which is favorably recommended. Nor did any of the other lesser known and even higher priced alternatives.

So where is the dilemma, and what does this have to do with life writing?

The dilemma is that today’s July 17 New York Times carried a report that “This morning, hundreds of Amazon Kindle owners awoke to discover that books by a certain famous author had mysteriously disappeared from their e-book readers ... “ Amazon stealthily removed copies of George Orwell’s classic novels Animal Farm and 1984. The good news is that they did credit the readers’ accounts.

Within hours, over 200 comments on the New York Times page had registered outrage, with over half expressing a firm determination stick with paper books — especially the library versions — rather than buying the Kindle they’d been considering. This has lit a highly readable firestorm of debate about Digital Rights Management, ethics, Amazon’s greed factor, and a score of other issues. More debate follows on the official Kindle Forum.

Another aspect of the debate and dilemma is the issue of copyright. These titles are in the public domain in most of the world, but still covered by what many consider to be unreasonably prolonged copyright protection in the USA. Apparently this was part of the reason for the scandal. The matter of copyright protection is one that concerns all writers.

I sense a watershed here involving the world of electronic publishing. Which way will it go? Who will determine the outcome?

The tie to Life Writing and your personal writing opportunity, involves personal essays outlining feelings about this ironically Orwellian issue of eBooks versus paper, copyright, rights of ownership, and related matters. This is your chance to put the stamp of your opinion on the history of publishing.

Write now: write that essay. Tell how you feel about technology in general, and digital books in particular. Do you have a Kindle? How do you feel about that now? Did you realize you wouldn’t own the books you purchase in the traditional way? If you don’t own a Kindle, would you consider buying one? Let it all hang out on paper or screen.

Google Advisory, aka Trouble in Cyberspace

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:03:00 +0000

For over twenty-four hours I've been unable to log in to view Ritergal's gmail. I am also unable to log onto this blog site on computers that weren't already connected when whatever it is happened. Right now my oldest computer, the one that's running Linux, is the only one connected to any Google services. If it happens to shut off, I'm out!

This morning, on my way to the monthly Pittsburgh Writers Project meeting, I was listening to speculation on the news that the North Koreans were causing havoc in Cyberspace. Maybe they hit Google. Who knows?

Anyway, if the blog goes blank for awhile, I'll be back as soon as Google is healed and lets me back in.

I think of this as yet one more sentence or paragraph in my ongoing story.

Write now: about a cyberspace adventure you've experienced.

The Durable Part of Memory

ritergal@gmail.com (Sharon Lippincott) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:25:00 +0000

Photo by Helga Webber

Yesterday I was hit over the head with a hammer regarding the durable part of memory. While we were fellow travelers in Africa, Alice and I spoke briefly about a paper she wrote in grad school while she was studying to be a psychotherapist. She read a pile of memoirs and synthesized some conclusions. Had we not been on vacation, I would have hammered her with questions, but at the moment, admiring elephants was more important.

Early yesterday I recalled that conversation with regard to my upcoming presentation on writing and healing. Maybe Alice could tell me a few things not already "out there." I quickly jotted an e-mail, asking about her dissertation (well, I assumed that's what it was). She quickly responded. "I don't know what you are talking about. My dissertation was on (something very different)." I wrote back and reminded her of the memoir reading and how she said she had wept her way through much of the project.

"OH! That project!" It was not a dissertation. It was in a class on Jungian psychology and for each one she read, she had to derive and write some personal synthesis thing. Obviously this is a Jungian concept or practice I am not familiar with, but that detail doesn't matter. Her only memories of the experience were of the intense pain of going through it, both the reading and the personal analysis. None of the hard data or details of her insights or the titles of the memoirs have stuck over the intervening thirty several years. The experience affected her on a deep level and shaped her life.

The mention of memoir and the report of weeping, the emotional part, is what I remembered. Emotions, feelings, those are the enduring parts of memory, and they matter so much, because they shape our lives. I remember the connection with memoir because it is intensely personal value-laden for me and resonated strongly.

Weaving those emotions into our stories is every bit as important as any possible facts surrounding the experience. Indeed, the emotions, the feelings, may be the story — as in this case.

There is another angle to this story that Alice and I have discussed. That is the power of reading about the experience of others, empathizing with that experience into our own lives. Deeply immersing ourselves in reports of other lives, real or fictitious, can be as powerful as going through the experience ourselves and often less costly in every respect.

That certainly sheds more light on the value of sharing our own stories. We may help someone else get through a rough patch of their own, whether that gravel lies in their past, present or future.

Write now: about reading a memoir — or a novel — that affected you deeply and caused you to view your life a little differently. Something that made a deep impression. Tell how it affected you, and what you remember of the experience.