Queen of the Surf Pirates

Sammy's Back

2008-01-14T07:00:00.002-05:00

Mornin Surfin Dude and Dudette People this is Sammy the Surf Dog with Ur Outer Banks Surfin Report .

My momma has been all busy writtin her New Site site but I think that site is really borin cos they never talk about gettin birds or playin Frisbee or surfin or dog treats or nothin. So I don't like to read it.

So if my momma ain't gonna write this blog no more then I guess I will. So startin today this now the Sammy the Surf Dogs Blog and I is gonna be tellin you all about surfin and beach stuff. Ok?

If u want to asked me any questions about my surfin report or want to tell me about some surfin news u think I should tell all of the other surfin peoples about, I have my own E- Mail now; its SammytheSurfDog@gmail.com, so write me somethin if you want.

And Now for Sammy's Surfin and Beach News.

Right now I don't really have any news to tell you, but come back tomorrow and I will have bunches

I usually have this report completed in the morning, but please take into consideration that I am a dog after all and I can't read and write all that well and can sometimes get distracted by birds, squirrels and dead things on the beach. Also the weather conditions on the Outer Banks of North Carolina can change in a short period of time. So for a detailed current forecast and more daily pictures go check out what Kevin the Surf Forecast Guy has to say at

Todays Surfin Report was brought to you by Sammy Stuff.... You should buy some Sammy Stuff cos this is my blog now and I need money to pay my cable bill and buy dog treats.

This is Sammy the Surf Dog wishing you peace,love and good waves.... I'm out for now.

An Open Letter to Digg

2007-12-20T14:13:00.000-05:00

Gentleman,

Recently you banned a site I author called Lesbiatopia for mature content, you also recently banned another lesbian authored site called Just a Girl in Short Shorts for the same reason, but a search of your site with the word ‘lesbian’ reveals that there is still plenty of prurient lesbian content present, much of which I can assure you would be considered by many of my lesbian readers as exploitive and insulting… for example the content and comments of this very popular string that I had no problem finding on your site titled Britney Spears has lesbian footage of Paris Hilton. This post is seems only the tip of the iceberg when it come to efforts by your users to humiliate and degrade lesbians and gay people in general.

So it sort of seems to me and several other lesbian and gay publishers I have contacted that your action against Lesbiatopia and other lesbian authored sites recently may well be a bit homophobic on your parts and that you seem to pander to a misogynistic and lesbiaphobic element who tend to frequent your site. We can only take this to mean that your only concern would be material this element considers ‘offensive’ as lesbian material posted by lesbians for other lesbians.

Therefore since you are a San Francisco based company and you have chosen to ignore any communications from me about this matter to date, I feel I have no choice but to contact the San Francisco Human Rights commission to see if they might be of some assistance in this matter and I will be asking my readers to do the same.

Thank You

Paula the Surf Mom

Digg Strikes Again

2007-12-19T19:41:00.000-05:00

A word on this from Miss Becky:

If mud wrestling pretend lesbians are your thing, Digg is the place to find them. That would be such things as Cute Lesbians Having Fun and Two Hot and Horny Lesbians. The ever popular feature is Paris Hilton in a sapphic romp.

But, as I have mentioned before, if you are are an intelligent red neck lesbian who favors short shorts and has a tad bit of feminist concern, forget it. At first you will be buried alive, and if a picture of a topless woman appears on your blog, the pseudo-geeks at Digg will be oh so appalled, and get you permanently banned for being a dirty old dyke.

I have already whined ad nauseum about Digg's campaign to bury me, until I was ultimately banned after posting Uber-Boob Fascination.

However today I got word the Digg Dweebs have struck again. And this time things may get a little uncomfortable in the adolescent playground.

In my in box this morning was notice that Lesbiatopa has been banned. The site is a compilation of thoughts from the greatest lesbian minds in America, with one glaring exception.

This time Digg may actually get a kick in the nuts.

Lesbiatopa's editor-in -chief Lesberita, used to write for the old QueerSighted.com and prefers hanging with gay rights activists, rather than stoned gun slinging libertarians.

Anyway, the word is going to get to the right places, which would include the seat of their pants.

And Kevin Rose may find it a little unpleasant clubbing in San Francisco.

Is Diggs Homophobic?

2007-12-19T18:16:00.000-05:00

Lesbiatopia Gets Spanked By Diggs

Well friends and readers it did not take us here at Lesbiatopia long before we have reluctantly found ourselves entering the realm of controversy as it would seem that Lesbiatopia has been banned by the internet book marking service Diggs, for displaying Adult content. But it is our option that our banning has more to do with a homophobic and misogynistic group think element by a of a small number of Digg users that tends to only wish to promote their personal views on homosexuality, lesbians and women in general.

Diggs likes to promote itself as a non-hierarchical community-based popularity website, that uses a form of democratic editorial control were news stories and websites that are submitted by Digg users. Digg users then promote these submissions to the front page through a user-based ranking system.

But in the past Diggs and its system has been not been without criticism.

Diggs has accused by some of allowing companies to pay member of the inner circle for posting and promoting stories endorse their products and services to be submitted to the site and for allowing faulty or misleading articles to be posted and promoted. It has also come under fire from some, most notably sites promoting gay and women’s issues, that they have been blocked from posting, and their accounts disabled, for making comments in the user-moderated forums that conflict with the personal interests and views of the Digg's inner circle.

Only last week Diggs banned another Lesbian authored site that I am sure many of the readers here are familiar with called Just A Girl in Short Shorts, for exactly the same reason as it banned Lesbiatopia… but if one reads this authors page you can see the banning of this site was probably motivated more by the fact the author is a lesbian with a brain, who presents content that is targeted primarily to a lesbian readership and that talks frankly about lesbian issues.

Now I am reasonably sure that Diggs will justify its action because Lesbiatopia has a section that frankly discusses Lesbian sexual issues. These articles are clearly labeled as sexual advice that is solely targeted for lesbian readers and when they were posted to Diggs it was expressly noted that these articles were exactly that and not so much perv bait for the Diggs Geek Squad. But in scanning Diggs after discovering that Lesbiatopia had been banned, I could not help but notice that lesbian content that would be considered by most of the lesbian readers here at Lesbiatopia as exploitive and misogynistic in nature has been allowed to remain in abundance on Diggs. I would then only have to assume that Diggs seems to value its pervs opinions and telling them to stay away was not something that went over well with them.

Other writers have also noticed this… The feminist blog Academic Pointillism can be quoted as saying….

I have read stories that have a large number of sexist, racist and/or homophobic comments that are dugg up far higher than the comments that challenge the comments or the story as sexist (etc). While sexist stories may silence some users, racist and homophobic stories increase that number further. Users who may fit into multiple categories, such as lesbian women, gay men of colour, or lesbian women of colour may feel even more excluded from digg.

And also…

Since geek culture is predominantly male-dominated, it is not surprising that sites like digg feature quasi-pornographic images on the front page, or that geek conventions feature booths with bikini-clad babes pushing products and computer games that even have female characters generally sexualize the hell out of them. Reverting to “sex talk” in groups is also one of the patterns that Bion identified in his study of groups. I am not arguing that praising women for their brains and beauty are a bad thing, but I am arguing against the unrealistic expectations for women’s bodies that diggers frequently perpetuate. This may not be surprising, but when the smart women start to go elsewhere because of a blatant objectification of ‘style’ over ‘substance’ maybe there needs to be some room for some reflection on why this might be, and if fantasy women are worth driving the real ones away.

Hmmm me thinks that possibly there may just be a double standard at Diggs and I think it just might be time to let Diggs advertisers know that if they are looking for a demographic that has a proven track record for spending their money on line they just might want to look at the Gay and Lesbian demographic and remember that we tend to support firms that support us.

More on this later… of that you can be sure.

Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at the

Roses are red, violets are blue, please leave your comment, after your reading is thru.

New LGBT Website for the OBX

2007-11-18T19:28:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! Paula has allowed me to post on her fabulous blog! I just wanted to give everyone a heads-up on the Outer Banks' newest LGBT website! Its called 'The Island' because, well, we live on an island... (I'm a simple guy.) The address is www.outobx.com and it is set up with a forum and a place on outobx.com to get your own personal blog! The Outer Banks is a fantastic place to live, and now we have a means of communication!

So go on there! Post your favorite restaurant, your favorite activity, your favorite spot! ANYTHING! Lets come together and patronize those companies who appreciate and support our cause!

Thanks,
James Miller
www.outobx.com

They're Backkkkkkkk

2007-11-14T10:04:00.000-05:00

Ok where have I been?

Well as many of my regular reader know Paula the Surf Mom has been MIA from the Queen of the Surf Pirates for a little while now… and my In-Box is full of e-mails asking me where the hell did I go as a consequence.

Well it’s like this…. I was walking down the beach one evening and aliens abducted me…. Ok, not buying that one are you?

How about this? I’ve was on a secret mission for the government and ended up in a North Korean Prison, but I escaped, and while making my way back to the Outer Banks hidden in a secret compartment of Chinese container ship I discovered a malevolent plan on the part of the Kim’il Jung’s mutant son to undermine the very structure of this great nation of ours with poisoned pet treats and lead tainted baby toys. So first stopping in Cuba, I teamed up with Halie Berry. Halie and I first had hot sex and then afterwards we blew up Fidel Castro’s beard salon and then flew to Greenland where we found il Jung juniors secret fortress hidden in a volcano and after battling his evil henchman in a final helicopter born laser confrontation, we blew up that place too, destroying all of the lead tainted toys and poison treats. Then we had hot sex again.

Ok that’s not true either… what has been going on is I have been really pretty busy these days, taking care of my girls, Sammy and my granny.

I have also been working pretty hard on another blogging project with my friend Renee Gannon at Lesbiatopia and now that we have up and running I’m back here to get some life going again here at the Queen of the Surf Pirates… because I have really missed all of you.

We are all doing well here; the girls are really getting big and are becoming quite a handful. Sammy’s leg has almost healed and soon I hope to be back on the beach again with him as that was really and truly one of the main reason I took a bit of a hiatus writing here… you see my walks on the beach with my little bud turned out be a big part of my inspiration for this blog and when I sat down to write here with out my muse I had a hard time coming up with anything, but I expect Sammy to be back strong next week so expect to see more from the both of us.

Its so good to be back.....

This is and Sammy the Surf Dog wishing you peace,love and good waves... and we are out for now

Surfing Art: The Surf Photograpy of Kenny Onuforck

2007-11-09T06:04:00.000-05:00

The essence and beauty of surf photography is capturing that moment in time when everything comes together. The ability to intertwine independent forces; the weather, the swell, the surfer and the light, make surf photography an unparalleled art form.

Kenny Onufrock is a surf photographer based in Wilmington, NC. He has been a freelance surf photographer and a full time real estate photographer for several years now and couldn't be happier.

His work has been published in Eastern Surf Magazine, Surfing Magazine, Juice, Tide, Etc. and Line Up. He is also a frequent contributor to www.surfermag.com and www.surfline.com

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

Surfing Art: Cloud Rider by Meegan Feori

2007-11-09T05:58:00.000-05:00

The integral nature of surfing and creativity, for Meegan Feori, stems from her father, who introduced her to the ocean, and her mother, who encouraged her to create.

As surfing seeped into Meegan’s soul, her artwork found its direction. Her figural style developed through a series of compromises and has since become a process of exploration and refinement. Surfing and art-making give Meegan a purpose. Each challenges her to grow while also rewarding her for her efforts.

“I am a bella niña bruja ocean-loving dreamer compelled to create what my heart and mind envision. While my work represents surfing, it is not exclusive to surfing. It transcends the act of surfing becoming a visual representation of human emotion and experience.”

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

Lancelot Link - Surfin' Spy

2007-11-02T06:30:00.000-04:00

A Guest Post By The Queen of the Surf Pirates Pundit at Large... Jason

Whenever posting here at QSP, I always try to bring my own perspective and sensibilities to the topics that make up the broader base of this site.

Sometimes it's difficult to find an overlap that anyone would find interesting. I'm not gay. I'm not a surfer. I have no kids. I've got boy parts. I do love pirates but who doesn't?

Then, just when I'm most frustrated, I find something like the video below. A beautiful marriage of Paula's site and my own.

Now that's a proper way to start of your day!

Look whos One Today

2007-10-31T17:14:00.000-04:00

Yep, the Twin Surf Princesses are a year old today... I cant believe its only been a year since I was in the hospital pushing these two little bundles out.... messing myself and screaming Oh my Fuckin God what was I thinking?...

But really, this has been a wonderful and magic year, if albei, a fairly sleepless one... But these girls have brought things into my life that I never thought possible...

Girls I just want to say you can't even begin to know how much I love you and how glad you came into my life.

Happy Birthday....

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

Sammy the Surf Dogs Outer Banks Surf Report

2007-10-29T10:52:00.000-04:00

Mornin Surfin Dude and Dudette People this is Sammy the Surf Dog with Ur Outer Banks Surfin Report for 10/29/07.

I has not been here for a while, cos my momma was helpin my granny lady move and boy was we busy… and momma says movin granny lady can make a human want to drink… a lot. But I hope you didn’t miss any surfin cos I was gone.

My leg that got hurt by a crazy drunk lady hittin me with her car is gettin better though and I is startin to try to walk around on it. Momma yells at me when I do, but I really don’t care cos I is really really bored and would like to play on the beach now.

This morning the waves is really purdy big; the surf chest to head high and sometimes even bigger but the wind is blowin really strong from the Northeast at 25 mph and all of the surface conditions are by and large blown out. Surfin is not very good right now cos you would prolly get drowned if you went surfin, I think.

Also it has got kind of cold outside and I think winter is comin here to the Outer Banks… we is only lookin for hights in the middle 60’s and right now it is kind a cloudy.

Ok is done with the surfin report now….

If u want to asked me any questions about my surfin report or want to tell me about some surfin news u think I should tell all of the other surfin peoples about, I have my own E- Mail now; its SammytheSurfDog@gmail.com, so write me somethin if you want.

Todays Surfin Report was brought to you by Sammy Stuff....

This is Sammy the Surf Dog wishing you peace,love and good waves.... I'm out for now.

Hi Shredability - Dan Malloy

2007-10-26T06:48:00.000-04:00

A Guest Post By The Queen of the Surf Pirates Pundit at Large... Jason

VBS.tv makes some great little films and documentaries. As I was catching up on their recent ones, I came across this documentary on surfer, Dan Malloy.

It's nothing too exciting or spectacular but it's simplicity makes me smaile (and wish for warmer weather).

Be back soon

2007-10-25T09:37:00.000-04:00

Ok I bet you are wonder where I am and what I am doing…. Well let, see…. I’m moving my granny …. Fun fun fun… I will be back soon. Ok?

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

Surrpunded by Boobs, Worshipping Bush

2007-10-22T19:46:00.000-04:00

Not only the story of my life, but also lyrics from the song, "Condi" written and performed by Maxine Lapiduss live at M-Bar in Los Angeles. Apparantly, Maxine has it bad for our Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice. So bad, she wrote a "lesbian love lament to the Secretary of my Tortured State". Of all the celebrity lesbian crushes I've ever known of, this is by far the most interesting.

Condi, as Lapiduss lovingly refers to her as, lyrically expresses her love with such memorable lines as "Forget Osama and come to Mama", "Not gay, but hey, you're halfway there" and "Damnit girl, you're Condilicous" . I guarantee after hearing this song, you're whole view on political figures is going to change. Mine did.

The name Maxine Lapiduss may ring a bell to you. In fact, she's been making people laugh for years. Her stand-up act was featured in the documentary Wisecracks, and she has written and produced some of the most successful and ground-breaking sitcoms in television history, including Home Improvement, Dharma and Greg, Ellen, and Roseanne (which she was involved with when she came out).

According to AfterEllen.com, after a long stint with television, Lapiduss returned to the stage again in Los Angeles last year with a four-night production of Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! Co-written with Wendy Miller and starring Lapiduss. The show was partly inspired by the dismal state of television, over-crowded as it is with uninspired reality programming. In her show, the multi-talented Lapiduss does what she knows best; riffing on entertainment, politics, and being queer in Hollywood, in-between musical numbers with a talented cast and guest stars Deborah Gibson (aka former teen pop star Debbie Gibson) and Wendy and Lisa.

"I think reality TV has it's place, but it doesn't have to be 24 hours a day on every channel. TV is supposed to be this medium that entertains and educates. There's so much to learn in the world. I think that's why Broadway is thriving right now, because there are stories and music. And when you watch American Idol, you see that people are hungry to be entertained. They want to hear the music and sing along." Lapiduss adds with a laugh, "Ice dancing! Anything, we're grabbing at friggin' straws here. Give me some ice skaters, I don't care, I'll take it! Rollerball, I'll take it! Anything! Yo-yo tournaments, please! Anything with people with some talent!"

Maxine, former pop sensation/Ice Dancing with the Stars participant, Deborah Gibson, and comedienne Susie Mosher (star of Hairspray) sing their tale of woe about how reality TV has ruined their lives, in "That's The Reality."

It's people like Lapiduss that we need, with Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! which is a refreshing alternative to the boobtube that we get sucked into night after night. She wants to bring sexy (variety shows) back and with a little help from Mark Waldrop (who wrote the award-winning, all-gay musical review Howard Crabtree's When Pigs Fly) they collaborated together to write the cheeky love song to Condoleezza Rice. Thus a musical masterpiece was born. Without further ado, I present to you "Condi, a lesbian love lament to the Secretary of my Tortured State".

Spank Me

2007-10-22T19:24:00.000-04:00

I have a confession… I have been cheating on all of you.

Yes it’s true, I’m over at Renee Gannon’s Lesbiatopia, flashing my boobs for all to see, talking about wild lesbian sex and writing about being a very naughty surf mom indeed. As a mater of fact, I think you should come over and spank me, please, because I’m being so so very naughty.

But if you do come over to see what I’m up too over there just remember this… What happens in Lesbiatopia stays in Lesbiatopia, I mean after all my Mom and Dad read this blog and we wouldn't want them to know what I've been doing.

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

I'M COMING OUT TO PLAY

2007-10-22T01:29:00.000-04:00

The Queen of the Surf Pirates, took time out of her busy schedule, to perform a special ceremony on my behalf.
She graciously entered my comment box, raised her fearful weapon above my head, lowered it swiftly and accurately and declared me an honorary lesbian, by which I am truly honoured.
It has left me with a bit of a problem though....

I now have to build a closet so that I can come out of it and unfortunately the apartment isn't big enough. It's all right for her - she already had a closet to come out of. I have decided therefore, to step into a cardboard box [a large one obviously] and cover my head with a sheet. After a few days, I'll whip the sheet off my head and step out of the box. This will cause quite a furore I can tell you.

This is an International DP post, showing both sides of the Atlantic, almost, but not quite, simultaneously.

(Perhaps if I quietly close the curtains and the door and turn the light off he'll just stay in there - waiting for the dawn which never comes................ Lo,TG Ed)

A Message for my readers from Paula the Surf Mom, Queen of the Surf Pirates.

For my newer readers who might be wondering just what the hell the author of this post was talking about or for that matter just who the hell he is; I’d like you to meet Daddy Papersurfer.

Daddy Papersurfer lives in a gated distant seashore slum in England and he has no friends … He resides with a terrible goddess who scarcely tolerates his existence and he lives in constant dread of the eventual day when that tolerance will surly end and she finally just kills him and is done with it, his son moved to Portugal just to be away from him and his only real company is a pet male llama named Gertrude who tends to run away from home a great deal; his main claim to fame is his unsuccessful attempt to assassinate Bernard Law Montgomery, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein. Earlier this month in my Queenly compassion, I declared him ~~a charity case~~ an honorary lesbian just to give him a place to feel like he could belong (and now I can’t get rid of him).

So Daddy Papersurfer and his blog Old Git are one of the many charities we are ~~forced~~ happy to support here at the Queen of the Surf Pirates and I would encourage you to join us in that support,(if for no other reason,as a personal favor to me).

Your readership of Daddy Papersurfer’s blog will provide you with more than just the amusement that comes with watching the ever deteriorating mental health of this sad case of a man, it delivers a rare opportunity to witness an old life totally spiral out of control over time, and for only one visit a day you can make a difference.

By visiting Daddy Papersurfer you will be creating a unique bond between you and this very ridiculous man. You will get daily photos, updates and can join the legion of readers already ridiculing his sad life and then just maybe he will stop showing up being a nuance here on my blog all of the time because he will start stalking you instead of me.

So wont you please help?

Rainbow at Coquina

2007-10-21T06:29:00.001-04:00

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Good Morning World

Matthew Norman is a local Nags Head artist who works in various media, but mostly in oils. His works include monochrome portrait sketches, as well as full color renderings of local Outer Banks subject matter; Nags Head landmarks, the old cottages, the wonderful people here, the wildlife and foremost, the ocean, the beach and all the activities that surround them.

The peice I've featured here today is called Rainbow at Coquina and is an excellent rendering of one of my favorite surf spots, Coquina Beach , at South Nags Head in the Cape Hatteras National Seashore. It is considered by many of us locals to be the loveliest beach here in the Outer Banks.

I think Mr Normans work beyond doubt captured it a very special and beautiful light, his vibrant colors are the very essence of Outer Banks in every respect.

If you would like to see more of Matthew Normans work you can go to his website at normanstudio.com.

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

The Outer Bank Surf Report: Surfin Don't Stink Anymore

2007-10-20T15:59:00.000-04:00

Hello Surfin Dude and Dudette People this is Sammy the Surf Dog with Ur Outer Banks Surfin Report for 10/20/07.

We finally is gettin some good waves here in the Outer Banks today and surfin don’t stink here anymore.

My Momma was out surfing all morning and she said the surf is purdy first-rate. The waves are about thigh to waist high and the offshore wind we got blowin today are givin us glassy surface conditions with really purdy long and open lines.

Now momma said that if you go across the big bridge you is gonna find some even bigger waves cos she says so and my Momma knows what she is talking about when it come to waves.

The weather here in the Outer Banks is just almost like summertime; we is havin mostly sunny and highs in the mid 70s to low 80’s with a west wind blowin at around 10 mph...

The Outer Banks area water temperatures is still coolin down, but is not too bad; Duck Pier haz 71 degrees, Avalon pier is 70, Oregon Inlet Marina haz 79 degrees, Avon pier is 77 degrees, and Hatteras Island fishing pier reported 78 degrees. So you will prolly need ur wetsuit if you is surfin today.

We is kind at high tide right now and low tide is gonna come at 9:27 pm tonight.

This is really a good surfin forecast so I think you better go surfin.

If u want to asked me any questions about my surfin report or want to tell me about some surfin news u think I should tell all of the other surfin peoples about, I have my own E- Mail now; its SammytheSurfDog@gmail.com, so write me somethin if you want.

Todays Surfin Report was brought to you by Sammy Stuff.... Buy some Sammy Stuff cos I asked you to.

This is Sammy the Surf Dog wishing you peace,love and good waves.... I'm out for now.

If You Don't Eat Meat, You'll Look Hot Like Alicia!

2007-10-20T13:20:00.000-04:00

-- Lesberita is the new special correspondent here at the Queen of the Surf Pirates and will be reporting on all that is babeage. She calls her regular break Lesbiatopia, and is a very funny writer so welcome Lesberita to the Queens break grrrrl.

PETA has a new GoVeg campaign featuring Alicia Silverstone, the new face (and body) of PETA. This drop-dead gorgeous beauty pretty much bares all in PETA's new risque "first-ever naked veggie testimonial". After watching the ad, I had to pick my jaw off the floor and commend PETA for bringing sexy back to such an earthy, crunchy issue.

I wonder if PETA is using the ad to target straight men and lesbians? Are gay men and straight women next? Picture it: Jake Gyllenhaal riding bareback at a Midwestern ranch to bring attention to the issue of meat. Oh wait, that's a movie of an entirely different sort ...

Got beef?

Well, if a naked Alicia Silverstone is asking you might have to reconsider.

E-Mails to the World Only Lesbian Surf Mom

2007-10-19T14:21:00.000-04:00

Oh My, I've got Mail

When you Google Lesbian Surf Mom, that whole search is just about all me, so as you can imagine, I get a lot of folks showing up here at the Queen of the Surf Pirates to see just what The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom might be up to.

Now I should probably not be able to make such a rash claim as to being The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom, because I personally know of other Lesbian Surf Moms out there, some even have web pages and blogs. However currently I seem to be the only Lesbian Surf Mom here on the interweave who has brought hers out of the closet, leaving me to pretty safely surmise that until my sister Lesbian Surf Moms decide its time to stop hiding and join me out and proud in the blogesphere, that makes The Queen of the Surf Pirates pretty unique place to visit.

That just being the way it is for now, as you can imagine I get loads of e-mail from readers interested in what appears to them to be The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom.

Understandably a huge amount of this mail tends to asks the similar questions, so to save time answering all of it individually I’ve decided that once a week I will select a couple of the better e-mails I’ve gotten from my legions of fans during the preceding week and answer them here on the blog in a new feature I have creatively named ‘E-Mails to the World Only Lesbian Surf Mom’. Always the altruist, I named this feature thusly with the intention of shaming the other blogging Lesbian Surf Moms into coming out and to stop hiding, but until they do I plan to revel in the uniqueness of the whole situation that I find myself here presently in cyber land.

So let get started.

Today our first E Mail to The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom comes from a reader in Durham, North Carolina, who does not want anyone to know she reads this blog and has consequently asked that I not use her real name, but she writes:

Dear The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom,

I have been wanting to ask you for a long time, and ignore me if you think I'm too nosy---but who is the twin’s dad and what happened?

Name withheld by request

Dear withheld,

No, I don't mind you asking... it was a question that was inevitably going to come up anyway... so lets see... its like this ... I was hanging out at the beach shack one day and this angel named Gabriel appeared at the door and said, "guess what girl, your pregnant".

No, actually my partner Debbie and I were on the outs for a while, she was drinking pretty bad and running around on me, so I put drunk cheating ass her out of the house.

Then I started surfing with this kind of thoroughly cute Coast Guardsman...

Before I got pregnant I always prided myself on how flexible I was. One day after a surf session with Mr. thoroughly Cute Coasty, we got a bottle of my favorite poison, Cap’t Morgan’s Spiced Rum, proceeded to drink up me hearty’s yo ho and got a little loaded together at my place. In a diminished state I happened to ask him if he would like to see me put my feet behind my head... well the next thing I know.... TWINS!!!!

Now as we all know shit will happen and my one drunken dalliance with Mr. thoroughly Cute Coasty did not change my sexual orientation. I was still a lesbian, just a pregnant one and this is how I became The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom. Not exactly the Immaculate Conception, and it sure taught me not to put my feet behind my head in mixed company of thoroughly cute Coast Guardsmen and Captain Morgan Spiced Rum anymore. But in any case Debbie and I do have this kind of co-dependent thing going on and we do love each other, so we ended up getting our excrement together, started working things out and got back with each other again. But I think someday I will have to write a whole blog article on this subject to be sure, till then.

Flexibly and now Learnedly yours,
The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom

This next letter came from Dan in Utopia, Ontario, Canada and somehow got through my spam filter I think, but he writes:

Hi The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom,

My good friend Bob Bly has been a freelance copywriter since before dirt ...

He probably knows more about the business of freelance copywriting that anybody else on the planet.

And today I just bought the rights to use all of the forms, templates, contracts, agreements, and lead generation letters etc that Bob uses to run his business.

The whole enchilada!

Thought you might like to get in on them ...

http://www.hypertracker.com/go/dlevis/tools/

These materials are much more than a great timesaver. They're a virtual set of x-ray glasses into how Bob does what he does to consistently bag a very high 6-figure income as a freelance copywriter.

Every one of the essential activities from how he prepares for a job... to how he interacts with his clients... to how he gets paid and everything in between is documented and ready to swipe... right here in these documents.

Check 'em out!
http://www.hypertracker.com/go/dlevis/tools/

Until next time, Good Selling!
Daniel Levis
Selling to Human Nature
5482 25th Side Road, RR#1
Utopia ON CANADA
LOM 1T0
705 424 3232

Dear Dan,

Come on… I know this has to be a scam, because first and foremost I know there is no way that Utopia can possibly be found anyplace in CANADA; I know, because I’ve been there.

My dad was stationed at Cold Lake, Alberta. He was testing cruise missiles for the US Air Force back in the 80’s and I am sure the reason our air force tested their cruise missiles in Canada was because if they went off course there was absolutely nothing of consequence that would be harmed. The only thing I saw while I was there were drunk hockey fans, -60 below wind chills and The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) which gave us such wonderfully interesting shows as Hockey Night In Canada, and Reruns of Hockey Night In Canada during the off season and you have just got to love that Don Cherry, hey?; such a wit that man is.

So sell it someplace else dude, cuz I know all you just want my money. Spam me again hoser and see what happens. My dad still works for the Department of Defense and I bet he even has some of those cruise missiles he was testing laying aboot someplace, so possibly I’ll see if he will send one your way… I have your address now ya know. Hey?

Aggregately yours,
The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom

Well that’s all we have time for today. I hope you enjoyed this edition of E-Mails to the World Only Lesbian Surf Mom. Keep those E- Mails coming and please join me again next week as I answer all of your questions to The Worlds Only Lesbian Surf Mom … till then,

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

Cats

2007-10-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

A Guest Post By The Queen of the Surf Pirates Pundit at Large... Jason

Don't you hate it when people drone on about the superior cuteness of their cats?

Me too. I'm glad I don't have to read my own blogs.

This is my kitty violet. She's one sexy beeyotch.

She also a huntress of kitty toys, dust bunnies, paper clips, plastic bits and spiders.

She hates the paparazzi.

But she loves to cuddle.

But most importantly, little kitty is the best alarm clock I've ever had the pleasure of knowing...

When I'm an Old Surfer Babe: Will you still need me?

2007-10-18T04:56:00.000-04:00

When I get older losing my hair,

Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

Good Morning World

Surf Moms word of the day is

end·ing (ěn'dĭng) Pronunciation Key
n.
1. A conclusion or termination.
2. A concluding part; a finale: a happy ending.
3. Grammar The final morpheme added to a word base to make an inflectional form, such as -ed in walked.

Please read this related post.

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

Boxes Full of Memories

2007-10-17T19:34:00.000-04:00

This has been difficult parenting week and it has also been an equally tough week for me to be a child and grandchild,I’m a little down tonight and thinking about ending, more than beginnings.

We are about two weeks away from Halie and Kyma 1st birthday. I can’t believe a year has passed already and they have grown so much. When they first came into my life they were helpless little preemies, now they are walking, getting into just about everything and doing a pretty good job of kicking their mommy's butt. The house has become a veritable obstacle course of baby gates, barricades and childproof latches that the girls are everyday figuring out how to defeat. They are also getting more new teeth this week so they have been particularly cranky the past few days.

My week has been overflowing with broken stuff, bad-tempered babies and also a lot pretty strong emotions; I’ve been helping pack up my Granny, we are getting ready to move my her to an Independent Living center here on the island and that has made this week especially emotional for everyone involved as we experience both the glad new beginnings of the girls first birthday and sad endings with my Grandmother moving from her home of some fifty plus years.

I read an article once that said endings are a catharsis, that they give meaning to what came before, and change us from the way we were. I feel endings are a paradox, they define ones life and give that person cause to rejoice but they are also such a downer to those watching the end; we have to be gratified to see the accomplishment of a life time of one we love, yet we are distressed knowing that life will soon be finished all at the same time.

Last March my Grandfather passed away. Grampy and Granny had been married for 66 years and they had owned the home that she is presently living in since 1955. Earlier this month she sold it and will be closing next week.

On One hand Granny seems happy to be moving, that house; it is so big and it’s old. Granpy wasn’t gone two weeks when the bottom of the hot water tank dropped out, then the Air Conditioning went out and the guy we have taking care of stuff says that is only going to be the beginning; Grampy had a system of fixing things that was meant to save as much money on repairs as he could, so there was a lot of duct tape holding that place together. She is also pretty lonely living by herself, and she is looking forward to spending time with folks her own age. But on the other hand, most of her life was spent there and I can only imagine the variety of memories one must accumulate living in the same residence for fifty plus years and having to decide which memories she will be moving with her has to be hard.

It has to be sad leaving the place where you have been living for so long, giving away or selling things you have come to love and view as your treasures; she is resisting getting rid of anything.

Granny and my mom, who grew up in that house and who I'm sure has her own memories, spent most of the day alternately arguing and crying about what would be kept and what would be gotten rid of as we’ve packed up Granny’s stuff. It took us what seemed like forever to pack because Granny had to touch and hold everything just one more time; I’m sure she was remembering the time she got a particular item and she seemed to be saying goodbye to it before she put it into the box once she has decided it must go. I found myself in tears more than a few times as helped her pack today. I have my memories in that house as well and it was sad watching Granny remember, pack and cry because it really hit me that soon Granny too will be gone, I will miss her so much.

So tonight joining the normal clutter here in my living room this evening are the boxes full of memories my Granny gave me today. Some of what Granny bestowed holds no real memories for me at all, but some, like the little Christmas bears she always kept on her coffee table during the holidays, the old hand made antique clock she got in Tennessee and the brass souvenir bells she got traveling around the world with Grampy while he was in the Navy, certainly do. But I came home this evening with some things that I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with or where I am going to put. Someone besides my Granny might consider much of this stuff junk; but it was her junk so I took it because it seemed to mean so much to her to know that I did.

The girls are having a field day getting in to the boxes as I type this, but they have been so crabby this week and its seem to be entertaining them, and I am completely drained from the day, so I am just leaving them alone, because there is nothing they can really hurt anyway. Maybe later I will even go join the girls and see if we can remember Grannys life together. I’m sure we will find something good in those boxes and maybe Halie and Kyma will begin to know their Grandma better.

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.

The Outer Banks Surf Report: Surfin Stinks, you should chase birds.

2007-10-17T10:37:00.000-04:00

Hello Surfin Dude and Dudette People this is Sammy the Surf Dog with Ur Outer Banks Surfin Report for 10/17/07.

Today surfin still stinks here in the Outer Banks; we only haz a knee high break that is kinda glassy with light onshore winds blowin right now, but they will be changin around to the Southeast later on. So again the surfin is not very good here in the OBX and I think we won’t be seein any good surf till maybe Sunday. So instead of going surfin, I think you should go chase kids or birds or somthin, cos that will be more fun then surfin today and later I plan to do some barkin at the mailman when he comes cos that is always fun.

The weather in the Outer Banks is gonna be partly sunny with a 20 percent chance of showers mainly south of the Big Bridge and we is gonna have highs in the upper 70s to low 80s with Southeast winds blowin at around 10 mph.

Outer Banks area water temperatures are startin to cool off some now; Duck Pier haz 73 degrees, Avalon pier is 70, Oregon Inlet Marina haz 73 degrees, Avon pier is 74 degrees and Hatteras Island fishing pier reported 73 degrees, so if the birds you are chasin run into the water then I think you will prolly want to wear your lightweight wet suit.

High tide is gonna be at 1155 am and low tide is gonna be at 635 PM.

If u want to asked me any questions about my surfin report or want to tell me about some surfin news u think I should tell all of the other surfin peoples about, I have my own E- Mail now; its SammytheSurfDog@gmail.com, so write me somethin if you want.

Todays Surfin Report was brought to you by Sammy Stuff.... Buy some Sammy Stuff cos I think you is nice peoples and nice peoples would buy some.

This is Sammy the Surf Dog wishing you peace,love and good waves.... I'm out for now.

Inspired by an Outer Banks Sunrise

2007-10-17T07:19:00.000-04:00

Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word

Good Morning World

This is Wishing you peace,love and good waves... I'm out for now.