Makeup By Kailan Marie

Sunday Bunday

2013-05-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

If I haven't mentioned this before, I'm saying it now: Sundays are my freaking favorite day of the week. Why, you ask? I'll give you one good reason: nothing; Sundays = nothing. No school, getting to sleep in, catch up on a book, have some "me" time, and find random ways to blow through the half hour it takes to get another life on Candy Crush (are you obsessed with that game too?)
I'm not sure if Sundays are great for everyone, but I think that everyone should have at least one day (if you're able to) or even a couple of hours put aside to reconnect with yourself, pamper yourself, and just breathe. Simply just take some time alone to "come back to life", if you will.
In this post, I'm just going to share some things that I did on this Sunday. I'd love to hear what you guys like to do on your "off days" to relax, on whatever day that might be, so leave me a comment below and let me know!

Breakfast and Pinterest | Yoplait Light Harvest Peach & Ritz crackers w/ Port Wine cheese

A cute face and a warm blanket

Workout! Sundays are leg days.. Booo.

Sunday Bunday is a thing because people like me are too lazy to wash their hair on the weekends.

Currently reading: Insurgent by Veronica Roth.

I'm obsessing over this trilogy so far & cannot wait for the third book release in October!

Some words that really caught my eye | "Part of me wishes I could burn them from my mind, so I would never have to mourn for them. But the rest of me is afraid of who I would be without them."

Painting my nails is seriously a ~~pain in the ass~~ hassle. I chose Essie Van D'Go, one of my favorites!

Sloppiest nail painter award winner~*

You wore a bun today too, didn't you? ;)

Current Blush Favorites

2013-05-04T17:43:00.001-05:00

Besides eyeshadow, blush is one of my favorite makeup items to collect and wear! The type of blush you wear can really change your look, whether you're going for a natural flush or a bronze glow - and everything in between. Lately I haven't been sticking to just one blush, or just one shade range for that matter! I've been obsessing over an array of blush hues that are all perfect for the spring/summer season. Depending on the kind of look I'm doing, I can count on any one of these four blushes to go perfectly along with it.

MAC Blush Ombre in "Azalea Blossom" | light cool pink

NARS Blush in "Lovejoy" | shimmering bronzed rose

MAC Mineralize Blush in "Gentle" | raspberry with gold pearl

Illamasqua Powder Blusher in "Naked Rose" | soft neutral pink

What are your current favorite blushes? Leave me a comment below and let me know!

Favorite Spring Nail Polish

2013-04-30T12:18:00.000-05:00

My favorite types of nail polishes to wear have always been super light, pastel shades. I love how fresh and feminine that make your hands look and they go with anything! Not to mention the fact that light polishes also have a tendency to make you appear tanner than you really are - score! Well your hands at least..
These types of polish shades are perfect for the Spring time and even though I wear these colors year-round, I thought I'd share with you all some of my favorite bright & pastel colors that I like to wear in case you were interested in picking up some new bottles this season.
Let me know some of your favorite nail polishes for the Spring time in a comment below!

Essie "Tart Deco" • Coral w/ an orange undertone

Essie "Van D'Go" • Pastel peachy pink

Essie "Figi" • Milky light pink

Sally Hansen "Lacey Lilac" • Light Lavender

Wet n' Wild "I Need A Refreshment" • Minty teal

Sally Hansen "Mint Sorbet" • Mint green

Love & Beauty "Baby Blue" • Light robin's egg blue

Revlon "Cloud" • Pastel periwinkle/lavender mix

I hope you all enjoyed my Spring nail picks! What are your favorite nail polishes this season?

Everyday Spring Makeup Look

2013-04-23T15:24:00.000-05:00

Did anyone else think Spring was long overdue this year? I sure did, but thankfully it has finally arrived! I never used to be a big fan of this time of year, because where I live, Spring = rain and to me, rain was nothing more than just a four letter word for "bad hair day". But in the last year or so, I've grown to love the rain and the ironic calmness that it brings & in turn, I've grown to really love Spring!

What I love most of all about this season, however, isn't the rainy Illinois weather, but the beautiful colors and shades that take over our wardrobes and makeup collections, especially with gorgeous pastel colors! I'm obsessed with anything and everything that is pastel colored: nail polish, shoes, clothes, accessories, you name it! But to really break the Winter blues, I've been trying to incorporate some bright pastels into my everyday makeup routine. Color can easily be very wearable and this is the perfect time to give it a try!

Today I'm sharing with you all a look that I've been going to a lot lately using purples, pinks, and lilacs to create a soft, glowy, and colorful effect for the Spring. Enjoy!

FACE:
DHC Velvet Skin Coat Primer
Revlon Colorstay Whipped Foundation in Warm Golden
Dermablend Smooth Indulgence Concealer in Sand
MAC Mineralized Skinfinish Natural in Medium
Pixi Lumi Highlighting Powder
MAC Bronzer in Refined Golden
Illamasqua Powder Blush in Naked Rose
MAC Mineralized Skinfinish in Soft and Gentle

EYES:
MAC Paint Pot in Painterly
Inglot e/s in #318 and #351, mixed [matte white//matte beige] (lid, inner corner, browbone)
MAC Vanilla Pigment [ivory with gold shimmer] (lid, inner corner)
MAC Vex e/s [pale silver with pink duochrome] (outer third of lid)
MAC Kid e/s [mid-tone tan] (lightly in crease)
MAC Matchmaker e/s [matte mid-tone purple] (crease, outer corner, lower lashline)
MAC Sketch e/s [burgundy purple with red shimmer] (outer corner, deep lower lashline)
MAC Beautiful Iris e/s [iridescent lavender] (around edges of crease, outer corner, & lower lashline)
Essence Gel Eyeliner in Midnight in Paris
NYC Eyelash Curler
Covergirl Clump Crusher Mascara
Rimmel Scandaleyes Mascara

LIPS:
NYX Lip Pencil in Natural
Revlon Matte l/s in Pink Pout
MAC l/s in Creme D'Nude

Have you changed your everyday makeup look for Spring? Does it incorporate color?

Weekend Trip To Nashville, Tennessee + Life Update

2013-04-22T23:06:00.000-05:00

So let's just start off by acknowledging the fact that I've been absent from my blog for way too long, probably the longest I've ever went without posting. My life, starting with the death of my dog, Gizmo, was the start of a giant whirlwind of death, depression, and stress that has overtaken my life over the entire span of what has been 2013. I'm definitely at a fork in the road of life, but things are slowly starting to fall back together and I'm finally starting to put back the pieces of my life.

So I'm sure you all know what happened at the beginning of January regarding my dog passing away and how much of a toll that took on me, emotionally and mentally. It sucked me into a deep sadness that still reigns over every single day. I have accepted things more, but every once in awhile I fall back to square one, feeling more empty than the time before. Sometimes I even forget that she's gone, like one time I caught myself saying, "Oh I can't wait for it to warm up so I can take...." before I remembered that she's gone and I can't take her for walks anymore. Things like that.

Anyway, about three weeks after her death, my boyfriend's grandpa passed away. My boyfriend, Rob, was legally adopted by his grandparents when he was a child, so they were his parents. The night his grandpa passed away, his grandma was completely out of sorts and ended up taking a fall which put her right in the hospital. I won't go into too much detail, but basically within two weeks she ended up passing away as well; Only two days after she had returned home from the hospital under hospice and Rob and I had agreed to take care of her as she needed. So not only was I going through this huge loss that gave me so much heartbreak and depression, my boyfriend, had lost both of his parents and his life had been completely turned inside out. He had to be strong for me, but then I had to be strong for him, even if I wasn't ready to be strong at all. It's so crazy to me how life has changed in only four short months and how with their death, came so many more things to deal with and those issues, such as cleaning and packing up an entire house alongside school and trying to still spend time with my family, takes up all my time. But regardless, I do apologize for being absent for so long. I slowly am getting a better grasp on everything and have been able to manage my time more easily lately, so I am trying to get more posts out. On the bright side, I've been extremely inspired lately with things I want to share with you guys, so I will try and set aside more time for blogging!

So two weeks ago, I finally got to take a break from all the madness that is my life and go on a weekend roadtrip to Nashville, Tennessee. It wasn't by any means meant to be a fun vacation or believe you me, I would have been hightailing my way to the Harry Potter theme park by now. We went to TN for my sister's cheerleading competition. It was Nationals, so it was a pretty big deal. Her team ended up getting 1st place in their division, so it was definitely worth while! Even though it wasn't meant to be a "fun" trip and we didn't get to do any sight seeing besides a walk and visiting shops in downtown Nashville for an hour or so, I still had a good time forgetting about real life for a couple days. Here's some pictures from my trip (mostly from my phone) and again, since we didn't do much, they're mostly random pictures, but regardless, I hope you enjoy!

Can you tell that I was excited for the 8 hour car ride ahead of us? Because I was.

Random photos from downtown Nashville. Grand Ole Opry Shop and Bridgestone Arena... Please contain your excitement, people..

This amazing book statue was outside of the Nashville Library and I was IN LOVE. I wanted to steal it and take it home!

I knew we were going to have to sit through hours and hours of performances waiting for the award ceremony, therefore comfy clothing was necessary.

Took these bad boys out of our hotel window during sunset. It was beautiful!

Hope you all [somewhat] enjoyed these photos! I am officially back to blogging (for good this time) and have lots of ideas in store for you all.
Also, if any you have any requests of different posts you'd like to see, leave them down below!

Changes to Blogger and What It Means For You!! (Important Info)

2013-04-15T03:50:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, Google announced that they are retiring Google Reader, the service that allows you to easily read blogs you are subscribed to. This change won't be going into effect until July of this year, so no need to panic...yet.
Instead of trying to explain it in my own words and offer alternatives to you all, I'm going to direct you to a blog post written by Dana, of The Wonder Forest blog. In the post, she explains everything in clear detail, telling you what this will mean for both bloggers and readers, alternative ways of subscribing to your favorite blogs, ways to back up your blog subscriptions so that they are not lost, as well as a petition that you can sign to oppose this change.
Click H E R E to see that blog post (I highly recommend doing so. Go. Read it now. You'll thank me later.)

Have you read it yet? Great! Now you're all up to speed. In the post, she provided links to other ways of subscribing and backing up your subscriptions. I'm going to link those in this post as well, in case you didn't do so already!

Google Takeout - allows you to back up all of your subscriptions into an archive

As an alternative feed reader, you can use Bloglovin' or Feedly.
Like Google Takeout, they also offer a way to automatically transfer your subscriptions so it's quick and easy to get back on track!
Click HERE to transfer them through Bloglovin'.
Click HERE to transfer them through Feedly.

Personally, I would reccomend using Bloglovin'. It's a great way to stay on track with new blog posts, in which you are notified of new posts by email, on your phone (both iphone and android), or by simply visiting the site and signing in. In case anyone is interested in how it works, here is a video:

My Bloglovin' link is always in the sidebar of my blog, with all of my social network links, but
click the icon below to visit by Bloglovin' page to follow me (unnecessary if you follow me on google reader and transfer your subscriptions to the site using the link provided above, in which case, you would already be following me)

So I hope this isn't too confusing and too much of a hassle for you all. I know it's annoying and I totally think the saying, "Don't fix it if it ain't broken" totally applies here, except it's more like, "Go find something better to do than take away something that so many people use.."....right? ;)
In all seriousness, don't forget to transfer your subscriptions to stay in touch with your favorite blogs! I'd hate to lose you guys!
Again, if you haven't read the article by Dana from The Wonder Forest blog, please refer to the link at the beginning of the post!

Happy blogging and happy blog reading!

DIY Makeup & Beauty Product Storage Ideas!

2013-02-08T09:29:00.000-06:00

I'm such a sucker for great organization, especially when it comes to my makeup and beauty products!

But let's face it, sometimes it can get pretty expensive to buy all those containers and organizers, especially when you have a lot of products to sort through! In this post, I'm going to be showing you all some simple and cute ways that you can organize your makeup, using items you probably already have laying around your house!

My vanity has one wide drawer that's pretty roomy, except for the fact that it's very shallow. Being that they are so shallow, it's really difficult to find organizing containers that will fit inside of them. That's where this little trick comes in handy! These lids are the perfect size for my shallow drawers! You can use lids that are as big or small as you'd like! Since I don't keep many products in my vanity drawers (I use other forms of storage that sits on top of my vanity), these small lids make it easy to hold products I use regularly so that they're more easily accessible. In the photos, I put my most used MAC blushes in one and my most used lipsticks in another!

Using a pencil case, especially one that's metal, is a great alternative to a MAC palette or Z palette. It can get expensive to keep buying palettes as you accumulate more makeup, so this is a great cheap alternative! I always do this whenever I run out of room in a palette and still have some leftover pans sitting around, that way they're in a safe, but still easy to grab place!

I used to keep all of my beauty products in drawers, but I hated that! I'd have to rumble through them every time I needed to find something, which was time consuming and annoying. Products would also spill all over the place from being tossed around and from laying upside down.
I fixed this issue by saving the empty cardboard packages that I get when I order makeup and other product online (this black one is from MAC Cosmetics). All you do is simply cut off the lid at the fold and voila`! I keep all of my boyfriend and I's everyday products. This one in particular houses body lotions, body sprays, deodorant, facial moisturizer, acne spot treatment, extra toothpaste, witch hazel toner, foot creme, and spot brush cleanser (I use isopropyl alcohol). I have a small shelf that stands on my desk and I set each package on a shelf. I also use this storage idea to store nail polishes as well!

I hope you all enjoyed this little DIY post! Let me know if you'd like more in the future! Also, if you use any of these ideas, don't forget to snap a photo and tag me in it on Twitter or Instagram!

Twitter : @misskailanmarie Instagram: kailanmarie

January Book Haul

2013-02-04T20:37:00.000-06:00

So if you didn't know, I'm a HUGE book worm. I'm obsessed with reading. I talked briefly about how I'm going to be including all things I enjoy on this blog from now on, instead of just makeup and beauty. One of the things I want to share are books I like, buy, or am currently reading! I picked up some new reads at the beginning of January and didn't get to post this little book haul until now because of everything that happened this month, but here it is, better late than never!

I can't wait to read the Divergent series! I've heard great things about it. A lot of people say that if you're a fan of the Hunger Games, that you'll like this series as well. The story is also based in my home city, Chicago!

I'm a HUGE fan of John Green's books. He's definitely one of my favorites. I've already started this one and I love it so far. Another favorite by him is Looking For Alaska, which is one of those "Coming of Age" books like Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chboski that you just HAVE to read or your life will never be complete.

This purchase I was most excited for. It's a Q and A A Day Journal. It asks a new question every day, and you answer each question for 5 years! I thought it was such a cool way to look back at your life and remember things that you might not have. I started mine on the first day of January! Can't wait to see how things have changed over the years, as well as how/if you've changed as a person!

So that's the end of my book haul. I have so many more books on my list to buy! I'll be sure to let you guys know of any more book purchases I make in the future! Let me know if you'd like to see more posts about some of my favorite books and other books I recommend!

Have you purchased any books lately? What are you currently reading?

MAC Prep and Prime Lash Review

2013-02-03T23:20:00.000-06:00

So I recently reviewed my new favorite mascara, the Covergirl Clump Crusher. I've been in absolutely in love with it. Paired with it, I've also been obsessed with another mascara. This one isn't any old mascara, it's actually a lash primer! I first heard about this from one of my favorite girls to watch on YouTube, Abbie Durham (Click HERE to go to her YouTube channel. She's amazing, definitely go and check her out!). She doesn't post videos often, but she's absolutely gorgeous and very talented. One of the main reasons I love watching her, is because she always mentions really great products and usually they're things that I've never heard of! You guys know I love my DermaBlend Smooth Indulgence Concealer - heard
about that one from her as well! Well in all of her videos, she uses a lash primer, the MAC Prep and Prime Lash Mascara. Besides from her, I've never heard anyone talk about this product! Nonetheless, I decided to pick it up since she raves about it and now after using it, I can definitely see why! It does amazing things for my lashes and I'm absolutely in love!

According to the MAC Cosmetics website,

"Pump up your mascara with an undercoat. Goes on white,

but dries to a semi-clear base. Smoothes and conditions. Intensifies the build

and lengthening quality of all formulas. Helps mascara last longer."

The packaging is pretty basic in its sleek black tube. It has the same packaging as their Dazzlelash mascara, which is a glossy finish with multi-colored glitter.

From experience, I'm pretty sure the applicator for the Prep + Prime Lash is the same as their Zoom Lash mascara, although I could be wrong. It has more natural hair bristles rather than rubber or plastic. It's a good sized brush, not too big or too small. The brush itself doesn't do a good job at separated the product evenly throughout the lashes, so I have to comb through a few times until I feel they are evenly coated.

I definitely see a difference with using this and it has become a staple in my mascara routine since I purchased it! It makes my lashes thicker and longer! When I was experimenting with this, trying it with my favorite mascara (Covergirl Clump Crusher- see my review here) both with using this and without, there was a significant different in the thickness of my lashes above anything else.

I love that it dries clear, which is something is great because you won't have to worry about trying to work with layers and layers of your mascara to cover up white in your lashes. It also dries pretty quickly.

When I use this, I will wait a couple of seconds before going in with mascara because I find that it will work better when it has time to dry and become more tacky rather than being wet. This insures that it's actually going to be stuck to your lashes. If you went straight in with mascara, it would slide off with your mascara wand. The longer you wait for it to try, the more it will thicken up your lashes, but the harder it will also be to apply mascara on top- as with any mascara primer. Although I do feel this lash primer is extremely more easy to work with than other mascara primers that I've tried.

I definitely think this is a great staple item to have for a thick, long lash everyday without having to apply false lashes. I find that sometimes my lashes look so good, they'd get mistaken for falsies!
I'd definitely recommend this if you like dramatic lashes and especially for my girls (and guys) with short lashes, because it will definitely give them a boost!

I also feel like my lashes have grown in the short amount of time I have been using this. It does claim to condition your lashes, so that could be why, but I have definitely been noticing a difference in my natural lashes. I'm curious to see how their actually Prep and Prime Lash Serum would work, since this has been effecting my lashes and it's not even a lash-growth product!

before and after, with 1 coat primer and only 1 coat of mascara

This mascara retails for $16 at MAC Cosmetics.

I am in love with the MAC Prep and Prime Lash Mascara. It gives a great base for the long, dramatic lashes that I crave! This topped with a good mascara is lash heaven and I definitely think it's HG material for me! I know I will be repurchasing this continuously because I love the results. If you like dramatic lashes or have short lashes, I would especially recommend this!
It's also a nice treat for your lashes, because it conditions them with every use! You condition your hair, so why not your eyelashes too!
All in all, MAC Prep and Prime Lash is a great product! I'm excited to try more of their Prep and Prime products in the future.

Where Have I Been? // & The Day My Worst Nightmare Became A Reality

2013-01-26T15:54:00.000-06:00

WARNING: This is an extremely long post. You're not obligated in any way to read it. This is explaining why I've been MIA and also telling a story, so to speak. I didn't have to write all of this, I mostly did it for myself and I'm just posting it in this incase you all would like to read. I understand some people might feel this is dramatic, but this is my life and this is how I feel. It was necessary for me to get it everything out in writing. If you do read all of this, however, .... I love you. :)

So... I've got some explaining to do. It's been 3 weeks since I've posted anything, which some of you might be confused about since I was making all these promises left and right about new blog plans and about having all of these blog posts that I couldn't wait to share with you all.. & believe me, I didn't intend to even take a one day break from blogging because I literally had dozens of posts in mind, most of which I had already taken photos for.. I've been MIA from Twitter and Instagram just as well. I would have made this post a lot sooner, but every time I thought about doing writing it, I just couldn't bare it.. Because not only did I want to let you guys know what's been going on and why I've been gone, but for as long as I can remember, writing has always been the best way for me to vent; the best way to just really just get my feelings into perspective and clear my head- so I wanted to be able to write about the whole situation as best as I could. So again, I just couldn't bare it and even now, I'm dreading this. But I feel like it's necessary to really open up about it. And now that you're all probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about, I'll just go ahead and get into it. If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you already know...., but on Monday, January 7th (the day after my most recent blog post), my precious baby, my 9 year old chihuahua, Gizmo, passed away suddenly..

Anyone who knows me, knows that Gizmo is my baby. I treat her like a child and she loved me like I was her mother. Some people might think this whole post and everything I'm saying is too dramatic, but Gizmo was more than a pet to me. She was more than an animal. She was a huge part of my family, of my life, and had a huge place in my heart. She was my everything. & when I lost her, my whole world crumbled down around me. It was the worst, most traumatic experience that has ever happened in my entire life. I'm heartbroken and changed forever. Which is why I've been MIA for a couple weeks. I just could not get a grasp on my life and have not wanted to face anything.

I'm probably going to explain the situation, what was wrong with her, and everything that happened for those that care to know, but also, as stated earlier to vent and try to accept this in the best way I know how. So if you're not interested in this, then feel free to stop reading here. I don't want you guys to think I'm trying to look for sympathy or anything, because I'm not. I don't need it, but I just feel like this is necessary to do, even just for myself.

So just a little background on Gizmo. She was a 9 year old chihuahua. I've had her since she was 4 months old, since I was 10. So I've had her for nearly half of my entire life. Around the time I started college at the end of 2011, she started to get sick. (WARNING: about to give some TMI) At this point the only thing that was wrong with her was the fact that she developed chronic diarrhea (which she had every single day from then, until the day she passed, which I'm sure you can imagine how hard that was to deal with living in a house that's 98% white carpet). But we dealt with it because we loved her. In the Spring of 2012, she started to get really sick. This was around March (if you have followed me on Twitter for awhile, you probably remember me always posting about my sick baby girl and how sad I was all of the time) but it was around this time that she started to get really skinny, to the point where we could see her ribcage. She hadn't lost her appetite or anything and ate constantly, so we knew it might be something with her bowel issues and maybe she wasn't absorbing any nutrients. At this point, it was a couple months in with her having bowel issues, we assumed that [since it started around the same time that my sister got her cat, Marty] that maybe she had eaten some of the cat liter (we had caught her eating the pebbles that had fallen on the floor sometimes) and that maybe it had clumped up inside of her stomach and was causing these issues. We took her to the vet around this time and he gave us a liquid medication for the bowel issues that we had to give to her through a dropper type thing. She HATED it, so we tried to give it to her as little as possible. She would squirm so much. He also told us that we could give her Pepto Bismol if we knew she was having stomach/gas pains. Around this time, she was also started to breathe heavy all the time. It was like wheezing, rather than panting -because she did it with her mouth closed.

One night, she was wheezing pretty bad and I could tell she didn't feel good (I could always tell when she was having a really bad day/night with the discomfort/pain because of how her eyes looked, how she looked overall, and how she was laying.) I didn't want to just let her sit there and be in pain, so my boyfriend and I decided to try and give her some of the Pepto Bismol. I was scared because usually my mom and her boyfriend gave her the medicine, but they were asleep as it was pretty late at night. I really could not watch her be given the medicine because it broke my heart to see how much she refused it, so Rob (my boyfriend) took her to my sister's room so that my sister could hold her still while he gave it to her. When they were up there, about 2 minutes went by and I'm sitting downstairs, and all of the sudden I hear someone knocking on my mom's bedroom door. I ran to to the stairs and asked what was wrong and Rob just said, "Gizmo's not breathing." I flipped out, started screaming and crying. I just collapsed on the ground. That's all I knew until he brought her back out and said, "She's okay now." Then I found out what happened. I guess as my sister was holding her still and she realized she was about to get the medicine, she got really scared and started shaking and not being able to breathe (we later found out she had had a seizure) so my sister put her down on the bed right away and then she stopped breathing, her eyes were wide open, and she slipped off my sister's bed and it hadn't even phased her, so she was completely unconscious. My boyfriend grabbed her, pumped her chest, and she jumped back up. She was conscious again, but she was very much out of it and was extremely weak. So we made her comfortable and we stayed up all night into the day with her until we the animal hospital opened in the morning. When we took her to the vet, they did an x ray on her. They found a mass of something in her stomach, which could have been cat liter, but the vet said that it was most likely a tumor, which explained the chronic diarrhea. This also meant that, if that were a tumor, that she had stomach cancer. Cancer. Not only that, though. On the X-ray, they saw that she had fluid in her lungs (which caused her wheezing and shortness of breath) and in her abdomen, as well as most likely having congestive heart failure. They wanted us to pay for ultrasounds to get a closer look and follow that up by getting an EKG and other tests to see if she would be in stable enough condition to have surgery to try and get the mass or "tumor" out, which was a life or death situation all in itself. All of this would have cost thousands of dollars that we did not have to spend. So they gave us 4 different kinds of medication that she would have to be on for the rest of her life, for her bowel issues, one to drain the fluid in her lungs, an anti-inflammatory, and another one for a urinary issue I believe.

It took her some time to regain strength and start gaining weight and eventually, returning to her normal self (minus the bowel problem, which never left), but it was all thanks to the medication. It kept her comfortable, stable, and most of all, alive. But the medicine didn't kick in right away. It took time. Time that included so many sleepless nights filled with her being uncomfortable and in pain. She did certain things that would indicate to us that she was having a painful episode, which were: moving around every two seconds (can't get comfortable), rubbing her face with her arms, biting her nails and paws, bubbling noises in her stomach, and her making moaning noises. There was one night in May that she got really bad. She had all of those symptoms, but more intense than usual. She was moaning in agony. Moaning in a way where I didn't even know a dog could make this noise. It was like a human moan. We stayed up with her all night, never left her side. Around 11am, I decided to take a quick nap on the couch next to everyone, while Gizmo was the most calm she had been all night, and was on the floor beside me. I woke up about an hour later, because she had tried to jump on my face (assuming to wake me up) and when I did, she jumped up on the couch, laid down flat on her side, and moaned loud enough for you to hear on the other side of the house. I remember this so clearly, because this was the day I thought she was going to die. I looked at her and then I looked at my mom, who was crying, and I just could feel it. I asked my mom, "Is she gonna make it?" and my mom said, "I don't think so, Kay." and we all said goodbye to her. I just felt like this was it. I prayed to God to keep her safe. I sung to her the song I always sung to her, "You are my Sunshine." and I said these exact words, "I know you're sick. It's okay to let go. You can let go and all of this pain will go away. You'll always be my princess, but if you let go, you'll become my angel and you can visit me whenever you want. You can stay right here with us." I just laid by her, pet her, repeated this, told her "sweet dreams, princess" over and over and over. And then she got better. and better. and by the end of the night she was nearing her normal self. It was a fucking MIRACLE. I'm not even exaggerating. Months and months went by and she stayed her normal self. No episodes in pain, no moaning, no feeling like she's not going to make it. She was better again. Well, as long as she had her medicine. I had never had so much hope and faith in my entire life as I did after that. The rest of 2012, she was normal again. Happy as ever. Lovable as usual. Always wanting treats and to go for walks. She was Gizmo. She wasn't dominated by her sickness, she was just herself again.

Now in the midst of all of this, I was looking up stomach cancer in animals on the internet and had read something that stuck out in my head. It said something along the lines of, "animals with stomach cancer, with the help of medication, can live up to a year or so comfortably before it will become too much." It always stuck out in my head. But when she got better, I thought, "Well maybe it wasn't a tumor, maybe it was really clumped up kitty liter that she just could not pass. Maybe that's what all those painful episodes were, maybe that was just the process of getting it to pass and maybe because she's better now, it's out of her stomach." We never took her back for all those tests. We didn't want her to go through a life-threatening surgery. We just made sure she was always comfortable and always had her medicine. She still did have those bowel issues, which I, again, had a "theory" (more like an excuse to avoid the truth) which was that maybe the cat liter had just destroyed her stomach and ability to go to the bathroom correctly. Sounded like a logical explanation, right? :/

Fast forward to December of 2012. Last month. It was getting harder and harder to give her her medicine. She had caught on to us, something she rarely did, and everytime we would try and give her a treat (with the medicine concealed inside), she would pick it apart, knock the pill out, and eat the food only. We tried everything that usually worked. The only thing that was effective that we could do to force her to eat it, was to crush it up and stick it in peanut butter. I found out this trick when she was getting sicker, not feeling good all the time because it had been too long since she had had her medicine because it came so impossible to sneak it to her, when searching online for ways to do it. The idea behind it is that you stick it in the peanut butter and try and lift up the side of their mouth and quicky just stick it as close as you can to the inside of the mouth because since it's so sticky, they'll have no choice but to lick it up. This peanut butter trick was literally worse case scenario because it was SO hard to get it close to her mouth before she could realize what was happening and it broke my heart at her reaction to it, because I knew she hated it and she would do everything to try and shake it off. It also got even harder, because from going too long without the medication, it takes a few doses (and days) for it to kick in, so I'd have to keep giving her the peanut butter and she would be getting sicker, so it made me feel worse about giving it to her.

Fast forward again to Christmas Day. Well, Christmas Day... but at night. She had an episode of pain, one like she did that night in April when I thought I was going to lose her. She had had a couple of these throughout the months, mostly towards the end of the year, but not bad at all, just tiny little ones which we attributed to her probably being constipated and having gas pains. Well this day, she got bad. And I didn't know why. I assumed that maybe since I was giving her peanut butter everyday, maybe it was making her really constipated, since I knew she was in pain because she could not go to the bathroom. She kept trying, but couldn't. It was the worst night in a while, but luckily, once she was able to go to the bathroom again, it was all good from there. Other than that, there was a couple times in December where she just had a look in her eyes and demeanor where I could tell she didn't feel good. I feel like maybe subconsciously I knew that she didn't have much time left. Because I found myself, many times repeating that same goodbye mantra that I did back in April when I thought I was going to lose her, just in case. You know, so she would know that it's okay. So if she was at all scared, maybe it would give her some piece of mind. I never consciously thought that for a second she didn't have much time left, though. Ever. Maybe it was denial, who knows. Looking back, it seems like it was. But subconsciously, I think maybe my heart could just feel the day approaching, because not only was I saying my "just in case, goodbyes", but I found myself taking random photos and videos of her throughout the month of December more than usual and my logic behind that was, "Oh, one day I'll be happy I took this when I don't have her anymore. I just want to capture her as much as I can now while I have the chance" I did this same thing when I started college because I knew I would see her less. Also, in December, I got really bad separation anxiety with her. Anytime I was sitting down, she had to be in my lap. That also resulted of like 50 pictures of her sleeping in my lap from December alone. I didn't even leave the house barely at all, except for Holiday get togethers. Mostly because I was on Winter Break and I just wanted to be home, but I didn't want to leave her either.

In the first week of January, which I had no idea was her last, my mom kept hinting to me that maybe she's not going to make it much longer. Even though she was perfectly fine other than those couple tiny pain episodes and one big pain episode, it's weird looking back at how we almost knew. Well, I knew somewhere deep down (as I stated above), but I've always been the type to see the better side of a situation, even it's a make believe, sugar coated way of thinking. My mom, on the other hand, has always had a realistic point of view. She prepares for the worst and has always had this amazing intuition and somehow I think she knew. There was at least 3 instances all in that first week of January that my mom hinted that she might be nearing her end.

So moving on to Sunday, January 6th. My mom and Rob went to work and I spent the day blogging, reading, and laying in my room all day with Gizmo. Her bed is a pile of her favorite blankets along with a robe that I got for Christmas that she loved the feel of so I added it to her blanket stash. She laid there as I laid on my bed and wrote my Sunday Ramblings post, the last post on here before this one. It a nice, relaxing day. I was so hyped up on life. I was so excited to finally be motivated to lose weight after struggling with getting motivated for so long. I was beyond ecstatic for all of the blog changes and posts I had to do. I felt so good about the future and the things to come. It's not often that I feel this way either. I've been down more times than up in 2012 and I was ready for 2013 to change my life.
That night, I had to leave. I was going to stay at my boyfriend's house, because I had to go to my school the next day and register for classes (my school is closer to his house, so I always stay there when I have to go there the next day for something/during the week when I have school). & this is what kills me. Ask anyone, before I go ANYWHERE, I always say a long goodbye to Gizmo. Especially when it's going to be overnight or a couple days. I'll hug and kiss her. Tell her where I'm going and when I'll be back. Out of habit, I say, "if you miss me, just go in my room." and say goodbye. Well for some reason (and I hate the world for letting it be this way), it didn't happen this way that night. Also, keep in mind that this was the FIRST night that I would have left my house for more than a couple hours in about a MONTH. First time I was really going to be away from her since I got on Winter Break. About a half hour before I left, she wanted to be lifted onto the couch (she could get up herself, but not when she feels unstable), so I helped her up. For the last couple of days, she had been sensitive in her armpit area. I thought maybe she slipped on the tile, because she does do that if she gets her medicine for the first time after going without it for a couple days. So when I picked her up on the couch, I picked her up from her armpits and she yelped because it hurt her. I put her down right away and she kinda just collapsed in the place I put her down at. I felt bad, so I just snuggled her up in a blanket, told her I was leaving and that I'd be back tomorrow. Not the whole usual spiel, but I let her know I was going to be leaving. I gave her some kisses and walked away. We left about a half hour later, but before I left, instead of giving her a proper goodbye, I just looked over the couch where she was laying and said, "Bye, princess. I'll see you tomorrow, baybalove." (and yes, I remember exact words.) She just looked up and me and I blew her a kiss and that was it. That was the last time I saw her. The last time she saw me. I think about the that look all the time. I play that over in my head. Her looking up at me. She had concerned eyes. & I wonder if when she looked up at me, if she knew she wouldn't see me again. It makes me feel awful that I left that way, so quickly. I should have said goodbye like I usually do. Why didn't I? It's not fucking fair.

I woke up at 9 a.m the next morning to a text from my mom complaining about my grandparents. I replied and my boyfriend and I just laid in bed talking and at around 9:30, my mom called. I answered, and she asked to talk to Rob. I handed him the phone and they started talking. I was looking at him the whole time and a couple seconds into the phone call, he looks at me, and I notice him trying pressing the button on the side of my phone to turn the volume down. I knew when I saw that that something had happened. Didn't know what, I was worried, but I wasn't like freaking out or anything. He sat up and walked away, still on the phone. He came back a minute later, sat on the bed, said "come here" and grabbed me in a hug. I said "What's wrong?" and he didn't say anything. I just fucking knew. I just started crying and asked "What happened" again. He said, "Baby, Gizmo's not waking up." and I could tell in his voice that he was about to cry. I jumped up, started screaming, crying. Screaming, "NO". Falling to the floor. Everything was just spinning around in my head. Did I even really wake up this morning? I grabbed my coat and purse and we ran out. I screamed the whole car ride home, while trying to convince myself that it was just another episode of pain. I thought, if she's not waking up... maybe she's in a coma! That's it, she's just in a coma. I'll get home, and I'll wake her up. She'll wake up for me. I looked up how to perform dog CPR a couple months ago, I'll try that on her and see if it works. Grabbed my phone, looked up about dog comas in the last 10 minutes of the car ride. I sincerely did not feel in my heart that she was gone. I looked in the sky and felt nothing. I was not convinced. It was definitely a coma. Definitely. Had to be.

When we pulled in the driveway, I jumped out of the car before it even stopped completely. Ran inside. Dropped my shit and screamed, "Where is she?!" My mom said in the living room and I swear I had almost forget how to get to my goddamn living room, because I had circled around the kitchen before I got to it. I had in me every last bit of hope that I had tried to muster up in what felt like the longest car ride of my life and when I walked in the living room, peered around the dining room table, that last bit of hope I had didn't even have time to drain from my mind, it was just instant. One fucking nanosecond for that hope to just go from being inside of me to being on what could have been another fucking planet, because with one look at her, I knew she was gone. She was gone forever and there was nothing I could fucking do about it. One look. That's all it took. In that second, my whole world came crashing down. My worst nightmare became a reality. There's literally not any words to describe that exact feeling that I felt when I realized that she was gone. My baby. My princess. My heart. It wasn't her time. It fucking wasn't. God stole her from me. She was mine, not anyone else's.
I was screaming and crying louder than I ever have in my entire life. This is so hard to write.... I laid down by her, tried to level my head with hers. I looked into her eyes saying, "My baby. My baby. Noooooo. This can't be happening." I said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry." I should have been there for her, I should have fucking been there. Her eyes were empty. She was so cold. I laid by her for over an hour. I didn't care if she was dead, she was my fucking baby. I just petted her, talked to her. I told her how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, how much I was going to miss her. I told her the story of how we met, which was something I did whenever she didn't feel good, in case there was any chance she could understand what I was saying and if she did, if there was any chance it would cheer her up. I told her how it was love at first sight. How we grew up together, me and her. How she'll always be the only one in this entire world that could never ever hurt me- something else I always told her. How she'll always be my princess. I sang "You are my sunshine" over and over & every time I got to the part where it goes, "please don't take my sunshine away," I wanted to scream and pound my fists on the ground because life had just taken my sunshine away. I told her what I told her on that day in March when I thought I was going to lose her, only this time it was all in past tense.

"I know you were sick. It's okay that you let go. I told you it was okay to let go and now all of this pain is gone. You'll always be my princess, and now, you're my angel and you can visit me whenever you want. You can stay right here with us. You don't have to leave forever."

I tried to soak in all of things that I would never get to again. I tried to take mental photos. Close my eyes and try and capture the way everything feels. I pet her face. Twirled my fingers around her ears. Smelled her ears. She always, always, always smelled like maple syrup. No matter what. I had no idea why. Held her paws. I traced the little spot on her neck where a tuft of her fur curled up in a little circle. Looked at her. Tried to memorize her spots. Before it was gone. Before it was gone forever. My perfect little baby. She deserved the world. She was perfect. She did not deserve to be sick. She didn't deserve to die. She deserved a million more days. A million more kisses. A million more snuggles. A million more treats. A million more walks. It was the most unfair thing I had ever witnessed. I would have given her years of my life if I could have. That's how much I loved her.

I could sit here and try and explain all of the things that I felt. All the things I didn't. But I'd be here forever. Mostly drawing blanks, because I mostly am speechless. Shocked. Pissed off. Giving my middle finger to the world for taking my baby away from me.

The hardest thing of all to even try and put into words, is the feeling I had when the vet took my baby out of my arms, through the door, and shut it. The feeling before that, knowing this is the last time that I will look out of my eyes and see my perfect little angel & the feeling after that, knowing that I will never ever again open my eyes and see my perfect little angel right in front of me. I can't explain how much that hurts. How that makes me feel. I'll never be able to. It was the most hurt that I've ever felt. I felt like I was dying myself. I collapsed in that room. I don't even remember how I got back in the car. I don't remember the ride home. When I walked inside my house, I wasn't greeted by my happy dog who would bark and squeal and actually pee she would get so excited to see me, let me pick her up and she'd wrap her arms around my neck. (Ever seen a dog do that? It's the cutest thing ever. She could literally give hugs.) Instead I felt like I was walking through a ghost town. It was so empty. So empty without her. I didn't want to be awake or conscious. I didn't want to go to sleep either. Sleeping meant waking up and realizing that this isn't a dream all over again.

I was like a mother losing her child. I lost a huge part of my heart that day and I will never be able to replace everything that she was to me. Every day it gets a little bit easier, but every night when I'm saying, "sweet dreams, princess." to the fucking air, it gets harder and harder.

I was home all winter break. We all were. The first day I wasn't there in a month and within 20 minutes of the last child in my house leaving for their first day back to school, leaving only my mom at home.. Sitting on the couch, talking on the phone like usual.. She laid on the floor behind the couch my mom was on, positioned so that she was looking out of the window where the early morning sunlight was shining through. Her favorite place was always in the sun. & it's the there she slipped into her eternal sleep. My mom right there, though she didn't know... hell she had even seen Gizmo eating her dog food earlier that morning and filled up the bowl for her, talking away. & the only peace that I will ever have is knowing that she had passed away listening to the sound of my mom's voice. Knowing that she wasn't completely alone.

She picked the first day in over a month that she was the most alone in the entire house. She chose then to pass away. She could have gone any day she wanted to in that time span, where we all would have been there, knowing it was the end, being able to say goodbye, and see her off. But it's clear that she didn't want that. She had to of realized that everyone was gone that morning and deemed it the perfect time to let go. Around 9 am, I woke up suddenly. Could have slept in, but I just woke up. At the same time, the last child in my house was leaving for school, Tristan, my mom's boyfriend's son. He saw her as he was leaving. My mom called 30 minutes later..

I'd like to sit here and say how she's not in pain anymore and think that she drifted off in a peaceful sleep, knowing that she was letting go, but accepting that, not scared, but happy and at peace. But when I found her, her mouth was open with her paw in her mouth. She chewed on her paws and her finger nails when she was uncomfortable and in pain. So how am I supposed to believe that she was at peace? I feel like she was alone and scared and in pain. Knowing that just cuts me like a knife.

Nothing is the same anymore. For the first week, I was in complete shock. I felt like I was dreaming or awake in some twilight zone because it just did not feel real. She was just here. Just on my lap. Just on this couch. I just took this picture two days ago, how could she be gone? So many things were running through my head. I didn't do anything. I didn't leave my house. Didn't put a stitch of makeup on. I did nothing. That diet I was going on? Yeah, right. For over a week until I was forced to, because of school starting, to pick myself back up. The second week, it was sinking in. The only way I've been able to deal with all of this is knowing that she had to of chose to go. The way she did, the timing, it just seems like she was holding on for us.. and that the first chance she got to be alone, she let go. I've tried to make myself realize that she let go because she wanted to, because she couldn't take anymore. That she was probably worn out after dealing with all of this for over a year. That's been the only thing keeping me from falling apart over and over again every day. Because if this is what she wanted, how can I sit here and be sad? If this is what she wanted, how could I be so selfish to want her back here, in pain? So I accept the fact that she had to go, but I'll never stop being sad about it. I think constantly about all of the memories with her and I miss it all so much. I would do anything to have her back, even for just a day. Just to hold her, snuggle her, and kiss her. To sing to her one more time and tell her it's okay to let go. To say goodbye.
The sad thing is, Sunday, the day before, I thought she was getting better. She had acted like she was. It made me happy, since she had not been feeling good over the last couple weeks. It made me feel better about having to go back to school. I thought she was getting better and the next day she died.. It was so sudden and unexpected.
When I sat in my room on Sunday, finishing up taking some blog photos and was putting my camera away, I looked over at her laying in her bed. She looked so cute. I just stopped what I was doing. Grabbed my camera back up and took a picture of her. I just felt compelled to. Little did I know it was the last picture that would ever be taken of her.

This is that last photo. The day before she died. You can see in her eyes that she did not feel well.

It literally kills me to know that I have to live the rest of my life without her. I never want to forget what it's like to have my precious angel in my life. I don't want the years to go by and her memory to fade. It kills me to think of that. I'll never be the same. There's a huge hole in my heart. My life feels like an abandoned building, I feel like a remnant of myself, and my little baby is now a pile of fucking ashes. I carry her urn everywhere with me. I bring it to my room at night and in the morning I put her by the window in the living room, in the sunlight. When I watch movies, she's on my lap. It's like she never left. I talk to her all day constantly. I pretend like she's there. I change her water bowl every day with fresh water. Her bed is still in my room. But it's not the same. I end up just feeling stupid. I lay blankets down next to me wherever I sit for her ghost to lay on. Because if she's here, I know she'd come and lay there. I get mad when somebody accidentally sits on it or puts something on it. Like they should have known she was there or something.
The death of an animal might not be as dramatic and life changing to some people, but to me, I was losing my baby. A part of me. She was like a sister, because we grew up together. She was like my child, because that's how I treated her. I've never been so lost in my entire life.

I miss you baby Giz. Rest in peace, babygirl.

Sunday Ramblings: Weight Loss Journey Begins, Diet Issues, & Currently Reading

2013-01-06T13:49:00.002-06:00

Hey everybody! I hope you're all having a great start to your 2013! Today I'm going to be starting what I hope will be a new "series", if you will, that I want to do once a week. If you read my Holiday blog post, you know that I have plans to expand my blog past simply makeup and beauty. It still will revolve mostly around those things, but I will also touch on my life, as well as other things that I enjoy! I want this blog to be more personal and interactive, so I hope that you all will enjoy these changes as they come!

Like I mentioned, I'm going to be posting what is essentially like a journal, diary, whatever you chose to call it. I think of it more as a "life log"; sharing things in my life with you guys, allowing you to respond, and we can communicate with each other! I want to try and put these up once a week, on the same day. I'm going to chose Sunday, since it's usually the most calm day of the week! I tried to think of a nice title to these posts, but only came up with "Sunday Ramblings", which I think is fitting. If you guys can come up with a better name, let me know! So basically, in these posts, I'm going to be sharing things that have been weighing on my mind, have happened, are going to happen: you get the idea. I'm also going to update you on my aspects of my weight loss journey. However, I might make that into separate blog posts, if you guys would be interested in hearing more.

In these posts, I'm also going to be sharing photos from my week. When it dawned on me a couple weeks ago that 2012 was about to be over, I tried looking back at photos to see how myself as well as other people in my life have changed over this past year. I used to be a crazy photographer lady and have thousands of pictures because I would capture the moment any chance I could, but for 2012 I had close to none. I was really disappointed, so that's why one of my New Year's resolutions is to take more photos. Since I'm doing that, what better way to give you all a glimpse in my life than with photos! They won't always be interesting and memory-worth and they might not always be taken with my DSLR, but I'll make a point to capture the things that are appealing to me through the week, with my camera or phone, whether it be something I ate, did, made, read, cooked, etc. You get the idea. The idea of doing these posts is kind of like the blog version of a "follow me around" vlog, if you think about it. Kinda. Not really. But a little.. & don't be afraid to respond and share some things happening in your life! I respond to every comment :)

If you like these kind of posts, let me know! If you don't, let me know also!
So without further adieu, here's the first installment of "Sunday Ramblings"!

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So yesterday (Saturday, January 5th) was my first official day starting my exercise/diet routine. I'm really clueless when it comes to the whole health and fitness thing, but I'm trying to just take baby steps and ease my way into it. Any other time I've tried to start getting in shape, I've jumped full force into it and tried to go from nothing to p90x. That kind of commitment, I think, requires some experience and practice before beginning. Plus, it would never last. I'd be so sore and tired that I'd give up within a week. So like I said, baby steps. For right now, I'm relying on my exercise bike more than anything. I've had one in my room for months and had been using it as a place to hang my purse/coat, lol. It's crazy how many calories you burn and it's not even that hard. As you can see from the picture, for about an hour of going at a moderate speed, I burned over 600 calories! Maybe that's not really a lot, because really what do I know, but seems like a lot to me! I also am doing some arm weights and I'll probably do the Ab Ripper dvd from p90x a couple times a week. I'll probably end up doing p90x (I've owned it forever) soon, but I want to build up some endurance before I start that.

Oh, and can I just say that last night my legs were SO sore. Like I've been sore before, but holy shit, I think I might have overworked them 'cause they were burning like a mo'.

I think the hardest part of this journey is going to be the eating healthy part. Not only because it sucks, but I'm pretty sure I'm the world's pickiest eater. Literally, the only vegetable I'll eat are carrots. That's it. Oh, and lettuce. I like fruit, though. But I don't even know like how to eat healthier. Before, I obviously would incorporate in healthy things, but that's not what I'm going for. I want to eat completely healthy. One of the main changes I have to make to my diet, is cutting out pop. I'm obsessed with pop. Ughhhh it's so good. I'm like kind of person that loves pop so much, I'm like "ew, water" haha! That's so bad! So that's going to be a damn struggle, I already know. I also have to cut down on my bread intake, actually cut it out completely... I'm a bread connoisseur, if you didn't know. I make a mean batch of homemade crescent rolls that my whole family is obsessed with. They've been deemed, "Kailan's famous bread". Bread is seriously probably like my favorite food, not even kidding. Maybe that's the italian in me, who knows. So thaaaat's gonna be another struggle. A big one.

Anyways, enough talking about that before I run to my bread maker.. If any of you has any tips on eating healthier, ways to curb your appetite, etc. let me know, girl!! Also, if you have any good healthy recipes, especially ones for picky eaters, definitely share that! If I come up with some good healthy recipies, I'll let you guys know as well. Recipies are another thing I want to start posting on here. I'm obsessed with baking and with being on a "diet" now, I'm definitely going to have to come up with some healthy treats!

Oh, and if any of you are also trying to lose weight, get healthy, etc. definitely go check out Pinterest! It's full of great stuff. The Health and Fitness sections is filled with quick little workouts to do, cool information, and food ideas. I have an addiction to Pinterest; it's a problem.. But that's been one of my favorite boards, so go check it out if you're interested! My Pinterest link is in the sidebar, with all my other social networking links- follow me, if you'd like!

Do you guys get snow where you live? I live in Illinois and we always have a ton of snow in the Winter, but for some reason, it's barely snow more than like a centimeter all week! I hate it. Christmas didn't even feel the same because there's no snow! If you follow me on Twitter, you know I've been hatin' on the snowless weather lately. I love snow. It looks so beautiful and I'm dying to go sledding! Well, I got so excited because my weather app said it was going to snow all day yesterday. It didn't, not even close, but it did the most it has all Winter... woohoo!

The view outside my bedroom window!

So another thing you guys might not know about me, is that I'm a serious bookworm. I LOVE to read. I think it'd be nice to share what I'm reading with you guys as well. I know sometimes I get in a rut and I don't know what to read and it's hard to chose books because there's SO many out there, you don't even know where to start looking. I always wished taht some of my favorite bloggers and vloggers would talk about books they are reading and such, that way I'd have ideas. So that's why I'm going to share my "current reads" and such with you! I also have a book haul post coming up sometime this week on some new books that I've bought recently, so stay tuned for that! So whenever I'm reading a book, I'll probably let you guys know what it is and give you a brief little description so you can know if it's something you'd be interested in. Don't worry, there will be NO spoilers!!

I'm currently finishing up this book, which is "Room" by Emma Donoghue. It was kind of a slow read, but a very cute one nonetheless. It's about a women who was kidnapped by a man who keeps her locked in a small room that's she's been in for about 7 years. The man only comes in the room in the middle of the night and I'm sure you can guess what he does, because the whole book is told in the perspective of her 5 year old son, Jack whom she conceived with her captor. The crazy part is that Jack has never been outside of the Room and doesn't think there's a world outside of it or that there's anyone alive besides him, his mom, and the captor. It's basically just the story about their lives and their plans to escape. It's a great book to read, especially if your a mom, have younger children in your life, or just love kids because it's really interesting to see how Jack perceives his life and all the bad things that have happened. Not to mention, his love for his mom is completely adorable.

So that's all for today's Sunday Ramblings. Today's just going to be a lazy, lounge in your boyfriend's sweatpants all day, kinda day!
I hope you all enjoyed this in some way or another. Definitely give me some feedback on these kind of posts, if you think I should continue them, etc. I know it's a lot to read, but it's mostly because I wanted to explain what these posts were going to be about so none of you would be confused! In the future, I'll try to be more concise.

Also, don't hesitate to respond or talk about things in your life. I would like this to be an interactive thing. I respond to all comments :)

Have a happy Sunday!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who commented on my Holiday post saying such kind things. You all touched my heart. I had no idea that I had such supportive followers! You guys are amazing and put a huge smile on my face! <3

Review: Covergirl Clump Crusher Lashblast Mascara

2013-01-05T13:40:00.001-06:00

Guys I think it's time I told you... that I've fallen in love... and it's not with my boyfriend this time.. It's with the new Covergirl Clump Crusher Mascara! If you've been disappointed by all the new mascaras that have come out recently or are on the lookout for a good mascara, go out and pick this one up right now! In a couple short weeks, this mascara has become... dare I say it... my new favorite drugstore mascara! Of course, I still love my beloved Loreal Telescopic Mascara, but this one.... just takes the cake. I love everything, from the formula to the brush and everything in between. Well, not so much the bright green color of the tube - but hey, it's easy to spot in my makeup drawer! And now that I mention it, I'm not a fan of the name either.. Kinda cheesy, kinda gimicky. But with a mascara like this that does what it claims, name shmame.

200% more volume without the clumps for bolder, bigger, more luscious lashes. Features and innovative double-sided brush with lash-loading and clump-combing zones.

200% more volume
zero clumps
Lash loading brush, curved to crush!
Innovative curved brush
Super-volumized, beautifully separated lashes.

This mascara has the same packing as all the other Covergirl Lashblast formulas: thick & bulky, with the slanted cap. We all know orange is the original, purple is the fushion, yellow is the lengthening, pink is the luxe, and now green is the separated! ...err, I mean clump crushing...?

The most obvious feature about this mascara that sets it apart from the other Lashblast mascaras, is its curved brush. Some people don't like curved brushes, but me personally, I love them. I feel like I get a better grip on my lashes because they can get into the inner and outer corners more easily without having to maneuver your brush around a lot.

A problem that I face with some mascaras, is the actual size of the brush. I have very small eyes and by using a huge brush, it's only going to make a mess and smudge everywhere, and let me tell you... mascara smudges? Ain't nobody got time for that! I know you all feel me on that one! But with the Clump Crusher mascara, it's about a fingertip length-wise and width-wise it's about a centimeter, which in other words, means it's a perfect size for my small eyeballs. It's definitely not as small as Loreal Telescopic, though- which is like a microscopic brush. It's also very light feeling and easy to apply in the harder places. I can easily use this on my bottom lashes without getting any smudges, too. I also love that the very tip is quite small, which I like to use to wiggle at the other corner lashes to further coat them.

As far as the claims behind this mascara, we all know those are never true! But with the Clump Crusher mascara, it's definitely up to par with the majority of its claims. I truly think this is clump-crushing. I've seen video reviews of this mascara where people apply 30- something coats to see if it get clumpy and it wasn't! Spidery for sure, but not clump city whatsoever like you'd think! So no clumps means your lashes stay separated, which is great because it makes you look like you have more lashes!

I also think this has a good balance between being lengthening and volumizing. It does a adequate job at both and also gives my lashes a nice curl, even without using an eyelash curler.

It doesn't do so much for thickening, but if you desire more thickness in your lashes, just go ahead and apply a second mascara, which I always do with mascaras, but I honestly have only paired this with an eyelash primer so far, and that's been enough! I'm almost scared at how amazing my eyelashes would look if I layered on another mascara. I think we'd be talking false-lash effect here...

Another feature I feel is worth mentioning, is that this isn't a wet mascara at all. So it's not one of those mascaras you'd have to let sit to dry and thicken up a bit before using. It's a great consistency right at the get go!

Covergirl mascaras are, in my opinion, the cheapest mascaras you can get at the drugstore (besides like ELF & Wet N' Wild) because they retail around 6-7$ whereas $10 is usually what I see most other drugstore mascaras going for. I picked mine up at Target, but I've seen them everywhere by now!

Like I mentioned in this beginning of this post, I'm absolutely in love with this mascara. It's definitely become a favorite in the few short weeks that I've been using it. I love the brush to death and it gives me everything I could ask for in just one single mascara: length, volume, no clumps, and a nice curl! A definite must buy mascara! If you're on the fence about trying it, I urge you to go for it, because it's a fantastic find!

Happy Holidays! Photos, Personal Life Update/Rant, and Plans for 2013

2013-01-03T10:28:00.000-06:00

***WARNING: This is a very very long and detailed post. But it would mean a lot to me if you read all the way through! xoxo.

Hey everyone! I hope you all had an fantastic and safe Holiday! These past couple of weeks have been extremely hectic, so I've pretty much put blogging and filming aside for awhile. Now that it's over and life is starting to calm down again, I wanted to share with you guys some photos of my Christmas (a little late, but better late than never!). I'm bringing you this post to ring in the new year and all of the plans and changes I have in store for not just this blog, but my life and future as well. A new year is all about changes and I encourage everyone to let 2013 be your chance to start fresh and make your life the best it can possibly be. Let it be your reason to get motivated to become to be the best you that you have ever been!

My mom and I

These pictures make me so happy. Gizmo gets so excited to get her presents on Christmas!

2013 is going to bring a lot of changes to my blog, which I'm so excited about. I'm sure you all know that I'm not the most consistent blogger and I tend to zone in and out of blogging, which I hate. That is definitely going to change this year. I have so many posts in store for you guys! I'm also going to be branching out as well. This blog has always solely been about makeup and beauty. I felt so limited all of the time, because there's so much more that I would like to share with everyone. This blog will always revolve around makeup and beauty mostly, but I want it to dabble in my life and other things that I enjoy, such as baking, decorating, photography, etc. To fit these changes, my blog will probably become simply "kailanmarie" instead of "makeupbykailanmarie". I hope that you all will enjoy these changes. Any feedback you have would be great!

I also wanted to announce that I'll be taking a hiatus off of making videos for my YouTube channel. I've wanted a beauty channel as long as I could remember and because I was always so shy and insecure, I started this blog instead to ease my way up to finally starting a channel! As you all probably know, I decided to just go for it and starting making videos for my channel back in October. I absolutely love the process of filming and editing and sharing with the people within the beauty community, but I've come across some conflicts.
Those conflicts are solely within myself and they basically tie into my problems with insecurities and self consciousness. This is something that I've always dealt with, but at the point that I'm at in my life, I've hit rock bottom. The main source of this issue relates to my weight issues, which I've been in denial about, for months and months. Less than 2 years ago, I remained at 118 pounds. I was so tiny that people thought I was annorexic. I wasn't, I was completely healthy. But that just shows you how little I really was. In these last two years, factors such as being in a comfortable, committed relationship, starting college and dealing with the stress that comes from that, and the biggest thing, which was going from having home cooked meals all the time to fending for myself and being on my own- which led me to have horrible eating habits. It's really hard for me to say it because I've been avoiding the truth for awhile now and I'm ashamed to face it now, but I've gained over 40 pounds, most of that gained in this past year alone. I don't fit in any of my clothes, haven't worn jeans in months, I'm afraid to go in public, and I've avoided every friend I had in high school because I don't want them to see who I've become.
My life has really taken a toll. I never imagined I would be the girl who would have trouble with weight, because it was never an issue for my entire life. Doing something about it was always easier said than done, because I seriously lacked the motivation. Going back to why this relates to YouTube though... When I would film and go to edit my videos, seeing myself on camera was way different than seeing myself in real life. I realized that when I looked in the mirror, I blocked out what I didn't want to believe was happening, but on camera, there was no where to hide it. It was sharing me point blank in the face. I was literally and utterly disgusted with how much I had let myself go. Every single time that I have edited a video for my channel, I fall into this mini depression where I just want to scream and cry and be somebody else or just go back in time and knock some sense into myself!

Like I said, I'm at rock bottom. There's no way in hell I could consciously let myself get past this point. I'm letting the new year motivate me to get back on a healthier path. Which leads to me to why I'm going to be taking a break from YouTube. It was only negatively affecting me, which was so disappointing because I've wanted to make videos for the longest time. I need to take care of myself for awhile and become who I was before, before I lost sight of myself. I'm not sure how long I'll take a break from videos, but I will keep you all updated!

I'm sure by now you can guess what my goals are for the New Year..

I'm dedicated because I'm giving myself no other option. I really hope that you all will understand so that I could perhaps also share my journey with you all on here, along with the other changes, as well!

If you got through all of that, I seriously love you. And I hope that at least made a tiny bit of sense to you, as it was very hard for me to write and will be even harder to publish this post. I hope that in some way, me sharing this with you, will help you to start making the changes you want in your life. You only have one life, give it your best shot!

I love you all so much and I appreciate all the kind words that each and every one of you takes the time to say. I hope all your New Years goals come true :)

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE, Part 2: Perfume Gift Sets

2012-12-16T00:43:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody! So if you didn't already know, I'm going to be doing a Holiday Gift Guide series where I'll be giving you ideas on what to get the special people in your life for Christmas! I know sometimes it can be kind of tricky to figure out what to buy, so I hope that this will help you in some way!
My Holiday Gift Guide series is going to be separated into 4 different catergories:
-Holiday Makeup Palettes and Gift Sets (I've already done this one, click the name to see it!)
-Perfume Gift Sets
-Gifts For Men
-Stocking Stuffers

Today's Gift Guide is going to be on Perfume Gift Sets. I've combined a list of 8 different perfume gift sets, all of which are scents that I am fond of/are popular scents. There are so many scents to choose from in the world of perfumes, so I hope this will give you an idea of some really great ones!

1.) Lady Gaga "Fame"

This set contains:
- 1.7 oz Eau de Parfum Spray
- 0.34 oz Eau de Parfum Rollerball
- 1 Ephemeral Tattoo

Notes:
Belladonna, Incense, Apricot, Honey Drops, Tiger Orchidea, Jasmin Sambac.
Style:
Empowering. Mysterious. Fabulous.

2.) Taylor Swift "Wonderstruck Enchanted"

This set contains:
- 3.4 oz Eau de Parfum Spray
- 3.4 oz Scented Body Lotion
- 3.4 oz Scented Bath Gel

Notes:
Wild Berries, Passion Fruit, Pink Poppy, Peony, Champaca Petals, White Freesia, White Musk, Vanilla, Blond Woods.
Style:
Charmed. Magical. Captivating.

3.) Dior "Miss Dior"

This set contains:
- 1.7 oz Eau de Parfum
- 1.7 oz Perfumed Body Moisturizer
- Black sateen pouch with bow detail

Notes:
Italian Mandarin Essence, Egyptian Jasmine Absolute, Indonesian Patchouli Essence.
Style:
Pure. Precious. Elegant.

4.) Vera Wang "Princess"

This set contains:

-1.7 Oz Eau de Toilette Spray

-2.5 Oz Satin Body Lotion

-2.5 Oz Foam Body Gel

-0.13 Oz Eau de Parfum Mini

Notes:
Water Lily, Lady Apple, Mandarin Meringue, Golden Apricot Skin, Ripe Pink Guava, Tahitian Flower, Wild Tuberose, Dark Chocolate, Pink Frosting Accord, Precious Amber, Forbidden Woods, Royal Musk Captive, Chiffon Vanilla.
Style:
Sheer. Tropical. Delectable.

5.) Viktor and Rolf "Flowerbomb"

This set contains:
- 1.7 oz Bomblicious Perfumed Shower Gel
- 1.7 oz Perfumed Body Lotion
- 1.7 oz Perfume Spray

Notes:
Sambac Jasmine, Centifolia Rose, Cattleya Orchid, Ballerina Freesia, Patchouli.
Style:
Oriental. Gourmand. Floral.

6.) Juicy Couture "Viva La Juicy"

This set contains:
- 4.2 oz Viva La Juicy Body Lotion
- 1.7 oz Viva La Juicy Eau de Parfum
- Travel Bag

Notes:
Wild Berries, Mandarins, Honeysuckle, Gardenia, Jasmine, Amber, Caramel, Vanilla, Sandalwood, Praline.
Style:
Tantalizing. Teasing. Tempting.

7.) Jimmy Choo

This set contains:
- 3.3 oz Eau de Parfum Spray
- 3.3 oz Perfumed Body Lotion,
- 3.3 oz Perfumed Shower Gel

Notes:
Green, Tiger Orchid, Toffee, Sensual Indonesian Patchouli.
Style:
Feminine. Luxurious. Stylish.

8.) Nicki Minaj "Pink Friday"

This set contains:

-Eau de Parfum Spray (1.7 oz.)

-Body Lotion (3.4 oz.)

-Shower Gel (3.4 oz.)

Notes:

Sparkling with mouth-watering fruits, the fragrance imparts a playful cloud of pink floral petals that whisper the sultry warmth of vanilla, skin musks and woods.

Style:

Sassy. Fearless. Feminine.

Holiday Gift Guide Series, Part 1: Holiday Makeup Palettes and Gift Sets

2012-12-11T02:05:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody! So it's finally the Holiday season, which means it's time to start buying your gifts! I know sometimes this time of the year can be stressful for many reasons. One of those reasons is usually not knowing what to buy! For the occasion, I'm going to be doing a Holiday Gift Guide series where I'll be giving you guys ideas on what to buy for the special people in your life!
The series will consist of:
1.) Holiday Makeup Palettes and Gift Sets
2.) Perfume/Cologne Gift Sets
3.) Boyfriend/Husband Gifts
4.) Stocking Stuffers
*I also might do an "Electronics" gift guide, if you guys would want that! (Leave a comment if you do!)

Today's Gift Guide post, is going to be on this year's Holiday Makeup Palettes and Gift Sets. I have 11 options to show you and all can be found at all Sephora stores (some may not be at Sephora inside JCPenny) and on Sephora.com.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.) Lorac Eye Candy Full Face Palette ($59.00)

Contains:

- 4 x 0.68 oz Eye Shadow Palette in Ooh La La Vanilla (Nude Eye Shadow Palette), Caramel Love Affair (Golden Eye Shadow Palette), Tantilizing Cocoa (Bronze Eye Shadow Palette), Blackberry Truffle Seduction (Smoky Eye Shadow Palette)
- 0.17 oz Cream Eye Liner Palette in Mesmerizing Dark Chocolate
- 0.17 oz Cheek & Lip Tint Palette in Indulge in Berry Kisses

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2.) Too Faced Glamour To Go Sugar Spun Edition ($22.00)

Contains:
- 8 x 0.24 oz Eye Shadow
- 0.076 oz Highlighter
- 0.026 oz Lip Gloss
- 0.076 oz Bronzer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3.) Origins Skincare Must Haves ($55.00)

Contains:

- 0.5 oz Plantscription™ Anti-Aging Serum
- 0.17 oz GinZing™ Refreshing Eye Cream
- 1 oz Checks and Balances™ Frothy Face Wash
- 1 oz Modern Friction™ Nature's Gentle Dermabrasion
- 1.7 oz VitaZing™ SPF 15 Energy-Boosting Moisturizer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4.) Make Up For Ever HD Complexion Holiday Starter Kit ($79.00)

Contains:
- 0.17 oz HD Microfinish Powder
- HD Kabuki Brush
- 0.5 oz HD Microperfecting Primer
- Voucher for in-store redemption of a 1.01 oz HD Invisible Cover Foundation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5.) Lorac Pro Palette ($42.00)

Contains:
- 0.17 oz Mini Behind the Scenes Eye Shadow Primer
-0.32 oz PRO Eye Shadow Palette:
Top row, matte colors: White, Cream, Taupe, Light Pink, Mauve, Sable, Espresso, Black;
Bottom row: Nude (Shimmer), Champagne (Sparkle), Gold (Shimmer), Lt. Bronze (Shimmer), Pewter (Shimmer), Garnet (Shimmer), Deep Purple (Shimmer), Slate (Shimmer)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6.) Sephora Tinsel Town Eight Piece Nail Polish Set ($29.50)

Contains:
8 x 0.125 oz Nail Colour in:
- Mr. Right Now (opaque classic wine)
- Merry Me (opaque red with micro red glitter)
- Keep Me On My Mistletoes (opaque champagne gold with fine glitter)
- Bare To Be Different (sheer warm ecru)
- Chamomile-ion to One (sheer pink beige with fine gold glitter)
- Thyme For a Mani (opaque light khaki)
- Mash-Up (opaque metallic green purple duo chrome)
- If You've Got It , Haunt It (opaque black with chunky glitter)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7.) Sephora Glitz and Glam Party Sampler ($45.00)

Contains:
- 0.09 oz Stila Duo Shimmer Powder in Kitten
- 0.018 oz Laura Mercier Baked Eye Color - Wet/Dry in Black Karat
- 0.02 oz bareMinerals Eyecolor in Good Fortune
- 0.125 oz SEPHORA by OPI Nail Colour in Looks Like Rain Dear
- 0.11 oz Josie Maran GOGO Instant Natural Volume Argan Mascara in Black
- 1 oz Nars Body Glow
- 0.17 oz Lorac 3D Liquid Lustre Gold
- 0.15 oz Bare Escentuals Marvelous Moxie Lipgloss in Trail Blazer
- 0.01 oz Stila Smudge Stick Waterproof Eye Liner in Starfish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8.) Urban Decay Smoked 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil Set ($38.00)

Contains:

6 x 0.03 oz Eyeshadows in:
-Smog (copper)
-Mainline (dark green/blue matte)
-Uzi (gunmetal taupe w/silver micro-glitter)
-Empire (dark eggplant satin)
-Zero (zealous black)
-Demolition (deep brown matte)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9.) Philosophy The Cookbook Set ($24.00)

Contains:
4 x 4 oz Shampoo, Shower Gel & Bubble Bath in:
- Cinnamon Buns
- Peppermint Bark
- Hot Buttered Rum
- Old Fashioned Eggnog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10.) Stila Snow Angel Color Palette & Stay All Day Waterproof Volumizing Mascara ($42.00)

Contains:
- 18 x 0.64 oz Eye Shadow in Peace, Love, Gold, Sleigh, Cookie, Dashing, Eggnog, Icicle, Dance, Merry, Kitten, Jingle, Gingerbread, Truffle, Chestnut, Cool, Clove, Fairy
- 12 x 0.67 oz Cheek Color in Shimmery Snow Angel, Matte Bronze, Shimmery Coral, Matte Clay, Shimmery Apricot, Matte Berry, Matte Melon, Shimmery Peach, Shimmery Pink, Matte Pink, Matte Plum, Shimmery Plum
- 0.1 oz Stay All Day™ Waterproof Volumizing Mascara
- 12-page artistry look book

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11.) Tarte Girl Meets Gloss 5-Piece Maracuja Gloss Collector's Set ($36.00)

Contains:
5 x 0.11 oz Maracuja Divine Shine Lip Glosses in:
-Bubbly (sheer rose)
-Curious (sheer petal)
-Preppy (bubble-gum pink)
-Chic (watermelon berry)
-Sparks (cotton candy)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will you be purchasing any of these palettes this year? Know of any other Holiday makeup palettes or gift sets? Let us know!

HUGE MAC SALE at BeyondTheRack!

2012-12-07T14:14:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody. I just wanted to make a quick blog post to let you guys know of an awesome sale that's going on. I usually don't post about sales, but as I was checking my email today, I noticed one from BeyondTheRack about them having a huge sale on MAC products. This includes limited edition products as well. I thought I'd let you all know since MAC never goes on sale!

So if you're interested, check out the sale while it lasts. The sale will be going on from Dec. 7-10 and products are selling out fast.

Click H E R E to go to the sale!

Here's a little sneak peak at the sale :)

Happy shopping!

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Makeup +Video Tutorial

2012-12-04T20:11:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody! So unless you live under a rock, I'm sure you all know that the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is tonight (December 4th, 2012). I absolutely love watching it every year and always love how naturally beautiful and glowing the models look! Their makeup artists do such a great job accentuating their features and making them look so naturally beautiful (as if they aren't already..) So I really was excited, now that I have a YouTube channel, to recreate their look. I've been looking at backstage photos and behind the scenes interviews to get a good idea of what kind of makeup was applied, what products were used, tecniques, etc. for the last couple weeks, so here's what I came up with! I hope you all enjoy!

These are the two photos that I got inspiration from!

PRODUCTS USED:

Loreal Dream Magic Lumi Primer
Revlon Colorstay Whipped Foundation in Medium Beige
MAC Painterly Paint Pot
MAC Naked Lunch e/s
MAC Wedge e/s
MAC Cork e/s
MAC Satin Taupe e/s
Essence Gel Eyeliner in Midnight in Paris
Covergirl Lash Perfection Mascara
Maybelline The Falsies Black Drama Mascara
Laura Mercier Translucent Setting Powder
NYX Sunny Bronzer
MAC Warm Soul Mineralized Blush
MAC Soft and Gentle MSF
Dermablend Smooth Indulgence Concealer in Almond
Maybelline Dream Lumi Concealer in Radiant

Everyday Fall Makeup Tutorial (VIDEO)

2012-11-27T20:25:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I uploaded another tutorial on to my YouTube channel that I would like to share with you all! One of my most popular posts on my blog is a picture tutorial that I did using the Naked 2 palette, so I've been wanting to come up with a different look that I can show you guys how to recreate using that palette!
It's a look I've been wearing everyday lately and it's a great everyday look for the Fall!
I hope you all enjoy! Don't forget to subscribe to my channel as well! I make videos regularly now!

PRODUCTS USED:
MAC Painterly Paint Pot
MAC Kid e/s
Naked 2 Palette
-Bootycall
-Chopper
-Foxy
-Verve
-Blackout
Essence Gel Eyeliner
Covergirl Lash Perfection Mascara
Maybelline The Falsies Mascara
NYC Sunny Bronzer
MAC Blush in Eversun
NYX Lip Pencil in Nude Beige
Loreal Color Caresse Lipstick in Sheer Linen

Winter Beauty Tips and Tricks!

2012-11-24T20:20:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I don't know about you guys, but it has gotten pretty cold outside where I live! Winter is right around the corner and it's only going to get worse! In the colder months, our beauty regimen has to change a bit to accommodate the cold weather! Our skin and hair gets dryer, which can get pretty frustrating! For the occasion, I've come up with 7 beauty tips to keep your nice and moisturized through the cold weather season! I hope this helps you out and maybe you'll learn something new!

If you have any cold weather tips or tricks to add to this, go ahead and leave them in the comments below!

Purple Holiday Makeup Tutorial! +VIDEO

2012-11-21T17:09:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I'm back to share my newest video with you all. Thanksgiving is right around the corner so I wanted to do a Holiday makeup look that was appropriate for any Turkey Day festivities you might be attending, but that would also be fitting for any Holiday event you may be attending.

I chose to go with shades that had a gold shimmer/sheen to them and used purples because I thought they would be great for the holidays!

I hope all enjoy this and don't forget to subscribe to my channel!

PRODUCTS USED (in video):
MAC Painterly Paint Pot
MAC Quarry e/s
Inglot DS 494 e/s
MAC Beautiful Iris e/s
Inglot Matte 318 e/s
MAC Vanilla Pigment
MAC Gesse e/s
Essence Gel Eyeliner
Covergirl Lash Perfection Mascara
Maybelline The Falsies Black Drama Mascara
MAC Refined Golden Bronzer
NYC Sunny Bronzer
MAC Azalea Blossom
NYX Lipliner in Natural
Loreal Color Caresse Lipstick in Violet Chiffon

ON THE REST OF MY FACE:

Revlon Colorstay Whipped Foundation in Medium Beige

Dermablend Concealer in Almond

Maybelline Dream Lumi Concealer in Radiant

Laura Mercier Translucent Setting Powder

Makeup Forever Aqua Brow in #25 Medium Ash

Clinique Concealer (for brows)

TUTORIAL: Demi Lovato X FACTOR Inspired Makeup

2012-11-20T01:43:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I posted another tutorial on my Youtube channel. This time it was inspired by the beautiful, Demi Lovato. If you've been keeping up with X Factor, I'm sure you've noticed that her makeup and hair always looks AMAZING. So I took one of my favorite looks that she wore and recreated for you all!

I hope you enjoy it! Also, please don't forget to subscribe to my channel. I'll be posting videos regularly now :)

PRODUCTS USED:

FACE:
Revlon Colorstay Whipped Creme Makeup in Medium Beige
Boots No. 7 Intelligent Balance Mousse Foundation in Blonde
DermaBlend Smooth Indulgence Concealer in Almond
Laura Mercier Translucent Setting Powder
NYC Smooth Skin Bronzer in Sunny
MAC Refined Golden Bronzer
MAC Pink Swoon Blush
MAC Soft and Gentle MSF

EYES:
MAC Painterly Paint Pot
Inglot Matte 318 (matte white)
MAC Cork (mid-tone brown)
MAC Brun (dark, matte brown)
MAC Black Tied (black with glitter) (glitter does not transfer)
Essence Gel Eyeliner
Loreal Telescopic Mascara
Maybelline The Falsies Black Drama
Makeup Forever Aqua Brow in #25

LIPS:
NYX Nude Beige Lip Pencil
MAC Hue l/s
ELF Glossy Gloss in Pink Candy

**I also want to apologize for the brightness. I have since figured out a new filming set up, so this won't be a problem anymore. Please bare with me until my next video. Until then, I hope you still enjoy the video <33

Loreal Color Caresse Lipstick in Violet Chiffon (My Favorite Fall Lip Color!)

2012-11-16T04:51:00.000-06:00

So lately I stubbled upon a fairly new line of lipsticks and have completely fallen in LOVE! I'm talking about the Loreal Color Caresse Lipsticks! At least I think they're lipsticks... they're actually more of a Revlon Lip Butter type of deal where they have the feel of a balm and the pigmentation of a lipstick. I only have two so far, one of which I'm reviewing for you all today, but I cannot wait to repurchase more! I want the entire collection! Today I'm going to be reviewing one that has become my favorite lip color for the fall: Violet Chiffon.

According to the Loreal Paris website, "Ready to shine bright? Our #1 best selling lipstick is now available in 16 gorgeously glossy shades. Color Caresse by Color Riche is formulated with our revolutionary Lightfeel system to deliver a feather-light finish without being sticky or heavy. 100% color, 0% compromise."

The packaging of the Color Caresse lipsticks is to die for! It's so glamourous and looks like a high end lipstick! I love the square design and the fact that you can see the lipstick shade on the exterior as well.
It is in a twist-up tube like most lipsticks, but is thinner than most. It is also very secure when closed!

The formula of this is like I mentioned before, very similar to a Revlon Lip Butter. The texture is smooth, creamy, and has a lot of slip to it. I'd definitely say they were very moisturizing (I don't have to apply a chapstick beforehand) and not sticky at all either! Unfortunately, it doesn't have the best staying power. I find that within an hour, the glossiness of it goes away and you're left with a light stain of the shade, even with the lighter shade. I like that it leaves behind a stain because then you don't have to reapply. Violet Chiffon leaves behind the most beautiful berry stain after it has faded away, so the fact that the initial finish isn't long lasting doesn't bother me at all!

To get them to last longer and leave behind a darker stain, I apply the lipstick as usual, then blot off. This leaves behind a stain already and then I proceed and apply another layer of the lipstick. When it wears off naturally throughout the day, the stain will come out closer to the actual lipstick now!

The pigmentation of these is incredible. I've tried two of the lipsticks from this range, one dark (the one I'm reviewing now) and a nude one, both are incredibly pigmented and to be honest, I was shocked! Because these are so moisturizing, it gives a sheer layer of color, so I wasn't expecting to have the intense color pay off that it did! The pigmentation is what truly won these over for me.

The average price of a drugstore lipstick is usually between $5-7, this fall just a tad above that retailing for about $8-9. Considering the quality of these lipsticks, I think it's worth every penny!
I found mine at Target, but they should be available at any drugstore!

Wearing Loreal Color Caresse in Violet Chiffon

(note: it comes off as pink in the photo, but is more purple in real life-my lighting was horrible! For a more accurate swatch-visit this blog post by Beauty Fashion Fitness!)

Stain left behind after Violet Chiffon wears off

Swatch of Violet Chiffon

I'm absolutely in love with the Loreal Color Caresse Lipsticks! They are creamy, moisturizing, have amazing pigmentation, and though they don't last long, they leave behind a nice stain! I've been using them like crazy lately and I can't wait to buy more! I've got my eyes on so many more shades! This is definitely a lipstick I would recommend to all of you guys! They have a huge shade range, so there's definitely a shade that would work for everyone! If you'd like to check out some more photos of this lipstick in particular as well as some other lipsticks in this collection, definitely check this review from one of my favorite bloggers, here! (linked above as well for better swatch of the lipstick).

New Video On My YT Channel: Get Ready With Me!

2012-11-15T15:28:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone! So one of my favorite videos to watch on YouTube are "Get Ready With Me" type videos. If you don't know what those are, they're basically just a video where you watch someone getting ready. Normally, they're sped up with music in the background. It's different than tutorials, because you're not teaching how to do something or taking time to show products.
Anyways, I decided to do one myself! It was very easy to do and I had a great time putting it together for you guys, so I hope you enjoys! Make sure to let me know if you'd like to see more videos like this in the future!

PRODUCTS USED:
Bare Minerals Prime Time Foundation Primer
MAC Brun e/s
Clinique Concealer
MAC Painterly Paint Pot
Inglot Matte 318 e/s
MAC Cork e/s
MAC Kid e/s
Urban Decay Busted e/s from Naked 2
Urban Decay Blackout e/s from Naked 2
Wet N' Wild Brulee e/s
Essence Gel Eyeliner in Midnight in Paris
Revlon Colorstay Whipped Creme Makeup in Medium Beige
Boots No. 7 Intelligent Balance Mousse Foundation in Blonde
Dermablend Smooth Indulgence Concealer in Almond
Maybelline Dream Lumi Highlighting Concealer in Radiant
Laura Mercier Translucent Setting Powder
NYC Sunny Bronzer
NYX Pinky Blush
Covergirl Lash Perfection Mascara
Maybelline The Falsies Black Drama

REVIEW: Denman Hair Brushes

2012-11-13T01:07:00.001-06:00

I don't know about you guys, but for me, when it comes to hair I'm about as lazy as they come. I could easily spend an hour on my makeup, making sure it's completely flawless, and then go to do my hair.... and with a sigh, throw that ish up in a messy bun and call it a day. But then again, my love of the effortless messy bun may be due to the fact that I have SUPER uncooperative hair. It's flat, thin, long, never wants to hold a style, and my bangs... don't even get me started!

It wasn't until I was introduced to the Denman Hair Brushes that I realized how something as simple as using different hair brushes to do different things can make a difference and help you actually STYLE your hair! Who woulda thought hair brushes do more than just .... brush.... hair. Or maybe I'm just an amateur ;)

Denman Classic Styling Brush

Close-set pin pattern and anti-static rubber cushion allows for maximum grip and control for smoothing and shaping
Pure rubber base provides the right amount of tension in combination with the heat from the hair dryer
Smooth, round-ended pins penetrate the hair safely for gentle styling without damage
Resistant to heat and chemicals
Hygienic and durable

$8.99-$14.99 (depending on size)

Denman Hyflex Vent Brush

Unique Chevron vents allow warm air to circulate directly to the root level to decrease drying time
Smooth, ball-ended pins for comfort styling
Ergonomic handle for balance and control
Widely spaced, free flow pin formation allows for safe detangling and adding volume
Suitable for short to medium length hair
Hygienic one-piece molding

Originally $12.99, currently on sale for $8.99

Denman Volumizing Brush

Anti-static rubber pad provides maximum control during blow-drying
Smooth, round-ended pins for gentle, snag-free styling
Helps to detangle thick hair and is especially suitable for maintaining naturally curly hair
Hygienic and durable with resistance to heat and chemicals
Free flow pin pattern
Made in the United Kingdom

$8.99-$12.99 (depending on size)

Denman Large Paddle Brush

Air-cushioned rubber pad for gentle control
Ball-tipped nylon pins for comfortable styling and maximum comfort
Staggered pin pattern follows the contours of the head
Ergonomic design for balance with a textured non-slip handle
Ideal for scalp massages
Hygienic and durable with resistance to heat and chemicals
Made in the United Kingdom

Originally $15.95, currently on sale for $11.95

Denman Thermoceramic Hot Curling Radical Brush

Ceramic coated barrel evenly distributes heat
Offers more consistent drying and curling
Minimizes heat damage and eliminates bacteria
Created with a tri-fold handle for comfort and easy rotation
Barrel is secured to brush handle with a rivot, increasing its durability

$12.99-$19.99 (depending on size)

Denman Head Huggers

Concave brush profile ‘hugs’ the contour of the head
Allows the crimped bristles to penetrate to the root of the hair for maximum styling performance
Wider barrel ends prevent hair sections from sliding off during blow drying
Narrow mid-section of barrel provides greater tension for optimum grip and control
Ceramic-coating dissipates heat across the surface area of the heat retaining barrel
Prevents hot spots
Enables Smooth, damage free styling

$10.49-13.49 (depending on size)

I'll be honest, I don't use all of these brushes. Why would I need to? But are, however, a select few that I use on a regular basis. The ones I don't use, my sisters and mom use and they like them. The ones I love in particular are:
The Classic Styling Brush: I like this one for simply brushing through my hair, especially when it's knotty because I feel like it's gentle on them and doesn't pull out too much hair.
The Vent Brush: I like using this brush to brush my hair when it's wet. When your hair is wet, you don't want to brush with a brush that has a lot of pressure because your hair is more suceptable to damage when it's wet. This brush, since it has wide openings between the bristles, glides through my wet hair without snagging, pulling, or breaking off.
The Hot Curl Brush: I use this to blow dry the lengths of my hair (not the crown) and I like it because as it states in the description, it provides less heat damage. It helps dry my hair with more volume and adds a bit of a curl to it, which I like.
The Head Hugger: I use this one true to it's purpose, to hug my big ole' head! I use this when I'm blow drying my roots to give a lot of volume and lift in the crown of my head. When held vertically, using vertical sections of hair and blow drying from behind the hair to give volume from behind, it really works amazingly and truly does fit to the roundness of your head!

All in all, I think the Denman Brushes are amazingly quality and are extremely helpful in all hair styling situations. The brushes mentioned also come in different sizes, to fit all hair lengths and types. These are a must have if you're in the market for a new hair brush, whatever the purpose may be. I think hair stylists or freelance hair stylists definitely need some of the Denman Brushes in their kit especially! They have tons of other brushes for other purposes as well, so don't forget to check them out.

Denman Brushes can be purchased on Folica.com.

These products were sent to me for consideration by Folica.com. This does effect my opinion in any way. This is my 100% honest opinion based on my personal experience, as always!

Eyebrow Routine ft. Makeup Forever Aqua Brow + Video!

2012-11-04T19:58:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! Today I'm back to show you guys my most recent video that I have posted onto my YouTube channel, which is how I do my eyebrows! If you've seen some of my recent posts, you know that I recently reviewed the Makeup Forever Aqua Brow. In the video (posted below), I show you how exactly I use that product, as well as some other brow products I love.

I hope this is helpful to you in some way and that you enjoy the video. Don't forget to subscribe to my channel if you haven't already! I'll be making videos regularly from now! :)

Other brow products that I like to use, mentioned in the video.

(left to right) MAC Mystery, MAC Brun, MAC Cork