qwerty

Tadabbur and What It Does To Me

2026-03-05T22:56:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah for this chance to write here again.

Tadabbur, what is tadabbur? I have been hearing about tadabbur and intrigued to join since a few years already. I joined a few communities like Aida Azlin, Bulatan Gembira, etc. But let's be honest here, it never sticks to me. My soul keeps running away (?)

Until last December. I saw a post by Ayesha Syahira about her private group Tadabbur open for 10 person only. I was thinking, "why not?" So I signed up her class with nothing to expect. I mean, I don't know what will I learn from this. Secretly, I'm praying that Allah SWT help me, cause I know I need it.

The first class, Cikgu Ayesha explains the concept of her tadabbur class, the first surah that we will learn which is At-Takwir (Penggulungan). I love her method. She provided a PDF file for the surah and we will learn each ayah and do each reflection. It fits my way of learning, I really enjoy it!

Now, it's already March. which means the third month of participating in tadabbur! I can't believe I manage to stick to it! InshaaAllah, I do want to stay in this circle for long long time! Doing tadabbur is not just a matter of learning the meaning behind every ayah in Quran. It makes us go deeper and darker. It brings out the worst side of me, which in all honesty make me feel worst like "Dang it, I am too sinful for this. I sin too much, I'm gonna be in Hell." But guess what? The more we learn, and no matter how awful we feel, my assurance is growing a little. I feel like I can do this. I may be lacking a lot of thing, but Allah SWT knows every little thing about me. My sins, my good deed, my shame, my hope. He is always here <3

Maybe I will share my reflection here in the future. It's a good way to keep this blog alive isn't it? :D

Till then,

Syaheera :)

Oh, yeah?

2025-09-30T11:29:00.003+08:00

Hi, somehow I felt regret not going to HIGHLIGHT's concert last 27th.

I missed my carefree days.

These days it's too stuffy.

I talked to ChatGPT a lot these days.

Pretend like I was talking to a mental therapist.

I feel seen. But of course, GPT can just do so much.

I need to talk to a profesional.

I miss the day I just type my daily story smoothly here. But now, I don't know anymore.

Work From Anywhere; WFA

2024-07-30T13:30:00.001+08:00

Weh, it has been a year since the previous post! LOL

I have been venturing into new work these days. It is called Virtual Assistant.

Before this, I was actively doing subtitling but after having a major unproductive output, I decided to stop applying or accepting the subtitling job. Which led me to find this virtual assistant job. It has been nearly 4 months now and I start a new routine which is working from anywhere rather than at home. because I can! and it was so bored at home.

at the moment, I am working at the cafe in the middle of bangi central.

while sipping Americano & pistachio cromboloni. V

My first Cook-fest!

2023-07-31T12:00:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

Alhamdulillah we managed to do our first raya hosting last 13th May at our house.

At first, I only wanted to invite a group of my friends and Asfar friends, which only add up to 20-ish people. I planned to make soto and baked mac&cheese. I seek for Ma's help since I've never made the soto soup right, idky. Borak punya borak, Ma somehow managed to persuade me to make Nasi Tomato and Ayam Masak Merah as well. I'm not confident at first since I've always failed to make a perfect any Basmathi rice before. It always turn out soggy la, patah la. But this time, she said it will work!---with her tips.

Crossfingering, I started prepping. Took me one whole week weh to prep my mental, physical and ingredients lol. Ma dah siap-siap bagi timeline supaya tak kelam kabut di hari kejadian. Cronologically, I started prepping on Monday until Saturday, the D-day.

Monday

Listed all the ingredients needed in all recipes. For example,

Pes Rempah Sup Soto

Bawang Merah 250gm

Bawang Putih 80gm

Halia 20gm

Lengkuas 20gm

and so on...

and I have 4 kinds of paste to be made. Pes Rempah Sup, Pes Nasi Kenduri, Pes Rendang, and Pes Masak Merah. Also, the ingredients for my added menu such as Agar-agar Gula Melaka, and Baked mac&cheese. Took me two good hours to actually godek-godek the dapur to confirm what to buy and what not-to-buy.

Tuesday

I went groceries shopping. Honestly, I have never shopped a full cart groceries and it was HEAVY. Mana tak heavy, I bought 5 ekor ayam, with 3kg added chicken breast, 3kg minced meat, 5kg potatoes, 3kg onions, tins of tomato puree, tomato soup, evaporated milk, cordial drinks, 4 packs of macaroni, a tray of eggs, 4 packs of nasi himpit, etc etc. I managed to push the trolley to the car, alone, and treat myself a plate of KFC for lunch. I deserved that, totally. The unloading and unpacking were also exhausting! Nasib baik ada wagon trolley kat rumah. Takdelah kena ulang alik dari bonet kereta ke dapur banyak kali! Penuh satu troli tu sampai bunyi kriuk kriuk tayar :))

*insert picture*

Wednesday

Hari mengopek bawang. Alhamdulillah, this time, I am very very very very very grateful of having Thermomix. Function gila in helping kitchenwork. Bayangkan nak mengupas bawang besar and bawang putih berkilo-kilo seorang diri? Memang tak rajinlah! Godekla cheatsheet Thermomix and in less than hour, all onions done! Peeled and washed and regrigerated! Although I wished I had started the past making on the same day, I was so malas so I just sorted the other ingredients and called the day. XD

Thursday

The real busy day. I spent one whole freaking day to make all kind of paste. Ma suruh buat semua pes dan simpan dalam peti untuk memudahkan memasak hari kejadian. Campak pes+lauk, siap! Macam senang, kan? ;D Proses buat pes itu, sejujurnya, kalau tiada kewujudan Thermomix, I would be making pes masak merah, and done for the day. That's it. lol. Alhamdulillah again (not promoting) but with the help of momix, my work is to just timbang semua bahan, blend apa yang perlu diblend(using momix), masukkan bahan lain sekaligus, biar momix masak sendiri for good 40 mins. Yes, I can kemas my dapur while it work its ass kacau the paste for me. 40mins macam lama kan? Nope, macam lipas kudung rasa dok pi mai timbang bahan for the next paste, and cuci the bowl whatnot after that, and keep on repeating sampai siap semua paste tu. Can even leave the house while it was cooking to go pickup my son at school. Balik rumah, ding dong deng dah siap another paste. I smelled like a paste that day, my husband said.

Friday

Another day. I started to feel rushed because it felt like so many things undone! Like nothing is done, actually! Had to have another groceries run in the morning because I memang plan to buy the greens like daun sup, daun bawang, ketumbar, a day before for its freshness. Sekali pegi tesco, semua tu habis! Fuh, dah kena turn the makcik bawang mode ON. Terus zoom ke kedai-kedai lain pula. Nasib baiklah jumpa semua tu di CS Grocer. Balik rumah terus rebus nasi himpit and sempat buat agar-agar gula melaka. Petang tu Asfar tolong pickup Thaqif kat sekolah so I can continue the prepping. Sempat jugalah buat ikan siakap stim limau for dinner. Lepas Isyak baru start merendang. Cit datang dengan Aliah untuk tolong buat bergedil. Two freaking hours spent baru siap menggentel bergedil okay XD We all went to sleep at nearly 1am that night.

Saturday

The D-DAY! I woke up at 6am, pray Subuh and start making sup soto. It took so damn long hours to cook wei. Ada la rasa sedikit penyesalan beli dapur style omputih sebab end up tak boleh letak two big pots in one time eventhough I have five stoves! Boleh guna satu big pot je and I started with the soup. Memang kalutlah fikir jalan nak multicook. Nasib baiklah jumpa outdoor stove yang boleh sambung ke tong gas terus tu. Cit started goreng bergedil at 8 kat luar while me and Aliah started prepping for other stuffs. Settle soup, I started cooking rice at 930 which is very late considering I have another ayam masak merah to cook! Apa pun, Alhamdulillah, Cit and Aliah were such a big help. Berhenti halfway goreng bergedil, sambung masak ayam masak merah. Sebab ada paste, memang cepat jelah siap ayam tu. Meanwhile, Asfar rearrange the furniture and carpets and went out to buy ice. Thaqif pun was giving a cooperation takde nak merengek tak tentu pasal. But very interested watching his Acit frying bergedil lol. Manage to complete cooking and serving at 11am, kemudian baru boleh naik atas bersiap. Tetamu supposedly start datang pukul 12! XD

Alhamdulillah, everything went well. Asfar's colleagues arrived first (and very punctual), then after Zuhr, my Statistics friends arrived. Miroh, Joe, Afiq, Yuni, Munir n wife. Lama tak jumpa masing-masing. Dah beranak pinak semua! Lepas tu Shak, Mira n Zati dari UPM datang with their own lil families as well. Dah lewat Zuhr sikit Toh, Tan, Bel, Noya pula sampai. Quite sad la Ika Due and their lil families tak dapat datang. It's okay, next time InshaaAllah. Lewat petang pula, Asfar's Arjuna Clan datang and diorang lepak sampai Isyak! By 9pm, all guests were gone and all of us melepet depan TV sambil makan leftovers. Mun, kawan cit also came early in the morning to lend her hand. Alhamdulillah they are all very function!XD Thank you Cit Aliah Mun. xoxo. When asked if I wanna do it all over again, atm, i can only say NO. But, it really worth the sweat. I like doing it. But ngl, it is tiring!

Till the next Cook-fest!

Assalamualaikum.

2023, 32 yo?

2023-01-15T00:07:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

Ohmy ohmy. Tahun ini dah masuk 32 tahun dah seorang Syaheera.

Selamat tahun baru!

Healing The Emptiness; Yasmin Mogahed

2023-01-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Last 2nd October, I went to Yasmin Mogahed's talk about her newest book, Healing the Emptiness.

At first, I don't know it was a title of her book. I bought the ticket since it relates me the most. :)

Mula-mula ajak my 5S girls, tapi tiada sambutan, lol. So, I asked my sister instead. Nasib baik dia onz.

The talk started at 11am but the registration opened since 9am. Since the venue is not so far from my place (20 mins), we all santai-santai la 930 baru gerak dari rumah. I believe we arrived the venue (almost) before 10am. I saw the building right in front of my two eyes. I was eager atm! Tapi, tetibe GPS asyik reroute reroute apakahh? Pusing punya pusing rupa-rupanya ada cycling event berdekatan bangunan PGRM tersebut. Mula-mula okay lagi kereta masih bergerak. Bangunan tu 500m in front of me tapi tiba-tiba kereta stuck tak bergerak langsung for 40 mins! 1040 dah masa tu weh. Kereta depan belakang dah start honking nak marah. Polis trafik yang jaga kawasan pun tak boleh buat apa. Bangunan PGRM itself ada multiple events on the same day, plus with the cycling event outside the building. My eagerness starting to change into madness dah. Frust gila babeng sebab the clock was ticking and it passed 11am already at that time! Hati ni banyak kali istighfar trying to be positive and said "ada hikmah ni ada hikmah". 10x pusing the same area, barulah dapat parking. Tu pun lepas banyak kali pusing baru Cit ingatkan untuk baca doa makan. Alhamdulillah it worked! We found a place to park and terus bergegas masuk bangunan. We literally manage to sneak in 30 mins before the first session ended! Nak nangis tapi masih bersyukur dapat masuk. ;)

Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan 1443H!

2022-04-12T08:52:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah diberi kesempatan bertemu lagi dengan bulan Ramadhan tahun ini.

Masih banyak lompong dalam menunaikan ibadah sunat namun, kita cuba perbaiki sedikit demi sedikit.

Rutin bangun sahur juga dapat memperbaiki jadual hidup seorang Syaheera supaya lebih produktif di pagi hari berbanding terkejar-kejar di tengah hari (dengan nak jaga anak lagi). Hehe

Alhamdulillah banyak hasil positifnya.

Oh, Ramadhan kali ini saya ada melibatkan diri dengan kumpulan Tadarus secara atas talian.

Baru sahaja masuk hari ketiga, datang haid. Mula-mula rasa kecewa tak dapat meneruskan bacaan, namun ada rakan berkongsi cara bertadarus walaupun tak dapat membaca Al-Quran.

Menerusi laman web Quran.com, kita masih boleh bertadarus dengan mendengar bacaan Al-Quran mengikut juzuk yang kita mahukan. Laman web ini ringkas dan mudah untuk dilayari oleh sesiapa sahaja, tak kira di mana kita berada. Aplikasi Quran.com juga terdapat di kedua-dua Apps Store dan Playstore.

Mari kita perbanyakkan mendengar alunan bacaan Al-Quran, kawan-kawan! :)

Nota kaki:

Cubaan menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu sepenuhnya. Maaf jika terasa baku. lol

Happy New Year 2022!

2022-01-08T14:05:00.002+08:00

Oh, Allah SWT,

Only You that I can depend on,

Only You that I can hope on,

Only You that can help me go through this life.

Alhamdulillah for everything you have given me, helped me with.

I am forever a sinful slave asking for your guidance everyday.

Happy 30th, Syaheera.

2021-10-26T08:29:00.003+08:00

First Dose Covid-19 Vaccination

2021-07-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

Alhamdulillah, I got my first dose of Covid-19 vaccine on last 12 July after quite a battle with the other 1million netizens before. I couldn't think straight during the online battle so I randomly chose the same date with my husband. Tanpa memikirkan the post-vaccination effects! I mean, if we both got our shot at the same date, and with all the sharings pasal kesan selepas vaksin ie demam, lemah badan, pening kepala, etc, siapa nak jaga Thaqif nanti? Adeh.

Anyhow, after counting days, 12th July came and my husband had his first shot first in the morning. PPV-nya di Dewan Gemilang, UKM, which is belakang rumah kami sahaja herher. He went at 930 and came back home at 12 with a sore left arm, he said. I was nervous. Lebih kepada post-vac effect more than anything else. Apa pun, my turn was at 230pm. Went there by myself. It was my first time driving after quite some time. Nak drive pergi mana je punnn kan? I arrived the PPV at 215 and the whole process was so smooth, actually.

Scanned the barcode, showed the appointment date at MySejahtera app, filling out forms which took like 2-3mins, and sit at the allocated chairs waiting for our turn. The waiting game started when we enter the hall for the final screening before getting our shot, actually. Panas jugak bontot gue menunggu sebab tik tok tik tok, tengok-tengok dah pukul 415 when it is actually my turn to get the shot. It happened so fast, I just didn't have time to record everything during the injection. But they showed us the vaccine bottle and tell us how much dose does per person get. One bottle is shared by three persons and I was the last one yang dicucuk. It was so fast that I tak sempat nak rasa sakit pun masa cucuk. Then the staff showed me the invisible needle, explaining that at the moment, I'm finally vaccinated! Alhamdulillah, lega. Lengan terus terasa lenguh tapi misi menunggu diteruskan lagi untuk mendapatkan kad vaksin daku! Dapat kad vaksin, kena spend another 15 minutes for observation. Alhamdulillah, I was cleared and dah boleh balik! Second dose will be another 9 weeks and we got our appointment date the next day on MySejahtera app. Alhamdulillah, can't wait!

Malam tu, Asfar start mengadu rasa panas-sejuk badan dan berat kepala. Lepas makan malam, terus ambil panadol dua biji dan tidur dengan Thaqif. Me, on the other hand, tak rasa apa-apa. I was waiting for anything to start appearing, but, nothing! I had a deadline that night, so I let Asfar slept with Thaqif while I continue working. Went to sleep around 2-ish, feeling normal. And woke up to, nothing! No post-vaccine effect for me. Alhamdulillah. Asfar felt a lot better after 24 hours post-vaccine, so again, Alhamdulillah. Thaqif wasn't neglected after all (things I worried the most). Mom and Mekcit were shaking their head when they know I didn't have any effect after vaccinated. "Antibodi gapodio la hokni sore. Takdok kesan langsung nah." Maybe it's my fats. Who knows lol.

oh wait, maybe I was injected with air kosong, instead? hmmmmmm

Apa pun, thank you for everyone involved at the PPV and also Malaysia, for taking care of us so well. I can't wait for all Malaysians to get vaccinated so we can live like the old days again. In shaa Allah.

#sistaksabarnakjalanjalan

#sisnakbalikkampung

#sisnaksocialized

One picture for the memory!

Midnight Owl

2021-06-30T05:23:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

I am in the middle of working on my subtitle task that is overdued.

I have become a midnight owl for the sake of earning money for myself.

My routine has been,

9pm - tidurkan Thaqif

1am - bangun and start working until Subuh.

I either get to sleep after Subuh or Thaqif woke up first, and there goes my sleep. ;)

My body is aching everywhere and I feel restless all day.

I need a good full body massage and one day of holiday, from everything.

Is it too much to ask? :D

Ah, but with the MCO situation, holiday only means sitting in front of TV one whole day stuffing food in your belly and never get enough of it. I miss going to the mall or anywhere outside, sitting in restaurants chatting, dating and anything that makes me feel more alive!

Nevertheless, I don't dislike the routine. It keeps me feel useful, in a way.

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY!

2021-02-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

Alhamdulillah, dah masuk tahun kedua jadi isteri Asfar bin Ahmad, dan juga mommy Thaqif bin Asfar. Tahun lepas tak sempat sambut sama-sama sebab sis dalam pantang kat kampung while Asfar jaga Arwah Mama sakit kat Bangi. Sambut through phonecall je tahun lepas.

Tahun ni pula, kita masih ber-PKP. Jadi tak keluar ke mana-mana pun. Sis hanya buat kek coklat resipi Arwah Mama dan kami makan-makan di rumah. Asfar buat surprise flower delivery. Walaupun dah boleh agak dia akan buat macam tu, sis masih rasa terharu di dalam hati hewhew. Cantik roses tu. Siap ada extra note, "Dari Your Oppa".

Amboi dah pandai ber-oppa sejak banyak layan K-drama di Netflix sekarang. :)) Thank you, b. <3

Simple Joy

2020-12-22T01:20:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum! Hehe

I know I know I always break my promise (to myself). Kononnya nak cuba bercerita banyak kat sini but I always ended up zero posting. Truthfully, memang selalu buka blogger tapi every time tekan New Post, selalu jadi blank! Huh. (hah...dah blank dah tak tahu nak taip apa)

Hari ini 22 Disember dah. Rupanya dah hampir setahun jadi seorang emak. Tapi sampai sekarang rasa macam tak pandai jaga anak. It is not an easy journey but it definitely worth the effort. Letihlah macam mana pun, frustrated lah macam mana pun, it always end up with happiness at the end of the day. AND, I learnt that I am not alone in this journey (sebab sejujurnya, there is a little possessive feeling that I developed after lahirkan Thaqif. Possessive macam "hei, i gave birth to him so i have 100% rights towards his welfare and whatnot", faham tak?). So sometimes I macam tak percaya that my husband can take care of him like I did. Tak senonoh kan perangai?

TAPI, ia memakan diriku sendiri kernanya at the end of the day, I am the one yang exhausted physically and mentally. End up, boleh je nak bermasam muka dengan husband sendiri kononnya nak merajuk sebab dia tak tolong jaga anak. hahaha perangai! But Alhamdulillah, walaupun Asfar nampak macam kaudahkenapatetibanakmarahaku, dia slowly faham caraku dan pandai-pandai sendiri take care of anak when I am in bad mood (read:tired). And I also start to lowered my expectation towards him in taking care of anak (sambil senyap-senyap bagi arahan how to do what).

These days, kalau penat dan muka tak ceria, terus Asfar ajak keluar petang meronda-ronda beli eskrem Family Mart so that bini dia sengih balik macam kerang busuk. Aih, kenapa senang sangat nak gembirakan seorang Syaheera? So unfair. :P

Apapun, doakan Syaheera jadi mommy yang terbaik untuk Thaqif!

In Shaa Allah

3 BUDAK GEMOK

2020-09-21T02:30:00.000+08:00

That's what I call ourselves.

💗

Semoga kami sekeluarga sentiasa diredhai Allah SWT.

Last week, we went to my bandmate's wedding. It was night reception at Bangi Resort Hotel. The event started at 8pm so we were rushing nak solat Maghrib and bersiap lagi. Thaqif was sleeping dari petang so everything was rushed as soon as he got up. I gave him bath and pakaikan baju dengan cepat so he was quite cranky. Being rushed, i guess. Fast forward, sempat keluar rumah 750 macam tu. I don't know why I felt this anxiety of meeting people maybe sebab dah lama tak jumpa kawan-kawan so I wanted to be seated in the hall quickly.

Tapi bila sampai je destinasi, Thaqif pooped! He was already unhappy the whole trip in the car and now pooping! My stress level is increasing. I wanted to change his diaper quickly tapi him being upset as it is, not being cooperative, meraung dalam kereta pusing-pusing tak nak change the diaper. I was about to give up and nak tukar kat tandas je tapi he didn't stop crying. I dukung dia for a while outside the car, bagi tenang. Mommy pun nak tenangkan diri. Tapi the smell of his poop is fuhhh lol. So Mommy had to do what I had to do. I force-changed the diaper in the car and calmed him down afterward. Masa tu honestly, I felt giving up and nak balik rumah je. I thought, maybe I am not fit to be socializing anymore.

(At night, some more)

Asfar took him and ask me to calm down. I did, and we entered the hall. It was a beautiful set up so the vibe cheered me up a bit. Alhamdulillah I met my bandmates right away, so being Syaheera, I forgot the little incident already. Asfar was taking care of Thaqif all the time, letting me mingle I guess. Thank you b. I do appreciate it. And betullah setiap kejadian ada hikmah-Nya, sebab Thaqif slept half-through the event so Mommy&Daddy could eat peacefully, Alhamdulillah. Masa dessert time tu dia tersedar, and terus Mommy bagi makan so he was in a good mood all night. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. :) Mommy pun happy dapat jumpa borak dengan bandmate yang dah berzaman tak jumpa.

So, everyone was happy.

Hence, the picture we took before going home. Hee

Freelance Translator?

2020-05-29T23:32:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

To be honest, I have never dreamed of becoming one. I have never thought it as a career before. However, after I quit my job as Subtitle Editor at IYUNO back in April 2016, I have become a freelancer since then. But yet, I have never recognized it as my career. I enjoyed working at home, after quitting, but at the same time I wanted that "office life", Although I applied to various kind of job, there was not a single feedback. Which made me decide to further study in UPM for two years (dang, was it?).

Feb 2017 - Jan 2019 was quite an interesting phase.

First, I became a student of Human Resource Development. Totally different sejauhhh alam daripada diploma&degree. But it was a great two years experience and I got to know a lot of great and inspiring people! UPM-mates, saranghaeyo!

Second, since my classes were like 5 times a week, and all of them started at 3 the earliest, I manage to do freelancing as well! So it's like studying+earning money!

Third, I got to know Asfar. My first love. My now-husband. A lot of dating stuffs going the whole two years. lol Alhamdulillah I am married to my first relationship-man.

Fourth, I passed PTD Online Exam but failed the UKJK. Also got called for SPA interview but apparently failed because I answered the Dewan Rakyat's chairs wrong. So, yeah.

Okey, dah melalut.

So, I got married on Feb 2019 and I was jobless since then. Adalahhhh editing job sekali dalam tahun tu. But I earned no income at all. And I got pregnant two months into the marriage. tehehee. And my husband asked me to postpone work hunting after dapat anak. Aih. Then I bersalin akhir tahun 2019, was so busy adapting sampai sekarang. and then the Covid. Practically, my life revolve around my baby&husband back to back!

Tapi Alhamdulillah, I received a silver lining during Covid when a subtitling company approached me through Linkedin saying that they need an Eng-Malay freelance translator and willing to give training if needed. It was on the early April when everyone was so into MCO etc, so I just grab it and started training. It was a Spanish-based company so my working hours were at night. Which is Alhamdulillah sebab Thaqif dah tidur by that time. I finished the training and Alhamdulillah I started the real task on 20th May. Yes, 3 hari sebelum raya.XD

This time around, I am approaching my job as freelance translator in a different view. Mungkin inilah rezeki kerjaku yang sebenar. It suits me more as a new mom and in the end of the day, I do love translating. :)

Semoga sis berjaya kekalkan momentum as freelance translator for longg longg time. Aminn

Finally...,Thaqif bin Asfar.

2020-05-04T01:02:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum. everyone!

Alhamdulillah I just gave birth to a little cutie baby boy on last 31st December. His due date should be 11th January and everyday we were telling him to come out on New Year but what to say, he couldn't wait to see his mommy & daddy instead! :D Everyone was telling me how fast my first birth experience was. Alhamdulillah semuanya dipermudahkan dari awal sampai akhir. Mommy gonna write down every second from my first contraction until the moment I gave birth to you, okay? Nanti anak dah besar nak cerita kat dia balik senanggg. Rujuk blog je sebab mak-mak biasanya pelupa. hewhew

Everything happened so fast. Tu yang paling I remembered. Asfar and I went to bed around 0130 on 31st December. Quite late because I was contacting my friend, Ena who was in Liverpool to do some shopping (blame different timezone). Tapi at that moment memang tak rasa apa-apa pun. Sakit ke tak selesa ke, nothing. We even planned to bake some cheesecake the next day lol. Kami pun tidur dengan tenangnya. Dalam pukul 5 pagi, I tersedar and rasa tak tahan nak ke toilet. Masa tu dah terasa sakit pinggang macam senggugut tu. Tapi I ignored and continued to sleep. 0530 tepat tersedar sekali lagi! Tersedar dengan sakit yang extra sikit tapi rasa nak kencing sangat-sangat. Again, to the toilet. Sakit tu masih ada so, I tried to baring dulu untuk confirmkan whether is it false contraction ke apa. I don't even know what contraction is at that time haha. Sempat Whatsapp Masitah tanya pasal contraction. I timed the pain. 0541 jadi lagi sekali. Relax pulak. 0551 jadi lagi. Relax balik. 0600 jadi lagi sekali. Ah sudah. Every 10 minutes dah. Masa tu, terus kejut Asfar kat sebelah. Cakap dah sakit ni. Dia punya terkejut tu terus bangun terduduk and suruh pergi mandi and solat Subuh dulu. At the same time, ma datang ketuk pintu bilik cakap nak pergi masjid. Bila cakap kat ma yang I am already in pain, ma cakap "Ha slow-slow la tu. Lambat lagi tu nak beranak. Ma nak gi masjid dulu." Lepas dah mandi semua, I immediately get dressed sebab dalam kepala nak pergi hospital je. Asfar cepat-cepat settlekan barang masuk dalam kereta etc. Kami turun ke dapur and breakfast sama-sama (in pain okay!) Ikutkan cakap ma, dia tak nak bagi pergi lagi hospital. Tunggu lambat-lambat sikit sebab kalau tak kena tahan lama kat hospital. But ma, I cannot tahan anymore T_T

0830 we arrived at HUSM. Asfar dan Ma je ikut sama-sama. Nasib baiklah sis paksa juga datang hospital sebab by 0930 macam tu, doktor check bukaan dah 4cm. "Puan tak perlu masuk wad ya. Puan tunggu je di sini sampai nak beranak." I was what... Baby is coming out already? Masa tu I was all alone in the ward while Asfar and Ma tunggu kat luar. Ma hantar makanan paksa makan but Allahuakbar the pain is surreal. Contraction pain itu menggerunkan if I were to describe it. It comes and goes without warning and with no mercy 😂 I couldn't eat at all. More to I don't want to. I was wandering around the ward while listening to other mothers screaming nak beranak. 'Alamak, nanti turn aku macam tu juga ke?' So, the whole time I walked and walked around the ward sampailah satu tahap rasa makin kuat contraction and dah start rasa nak berak. You know the feeling you have to teran berak sebab tak tahan sangat dah? I cepat-cepat told nurse cakap 'Saya rasa nak berak la nurse.' Selamba je nurse reply, 'Puan dah tak boleh pergi tandas ya. Puan tahan je.' Masa tu, I was feeling sakit contraction, nak meneran sooo bad and at the same time mengantuk yang amat! Bayangkanlah the whole previous day dah beraktiviti apa entah dah lupa pastu the night before tu pukul 1 pagi baru tidur. And sekarang dah pukul 11pagi macam tu. Everytime I sat down, sambil melayan sakit, sambil tu juga mata nak tutup tidur. Macam orang mabuk sampaikan nurse tegur 'Mengantuk sangat awak ni. Letih sangat ke?' Haha. A doctor came and checked me up again. Dia kata masa tu bukaan 5cm. 1cm of opening in 2 hours. I was counting in my head and....ohmy. another 10 more hours to endure this pain? Biar betul.

My sister-in-law, Afiqah came in to support me. Since she worked in HUSM, she is allowed to enter the ward for a moment. She gave me Milo kotak and Kitkat bar and forced me to eat, and walked. Untuk cepatkan bukaan, masa sakit tulah lagi kena jalan. I was not in my right mind masa tu so I followed everything she said. My lips never stopped zikr 'lailahailla anta subhanakainni kuntu minazzolimin' and I kept on walking sampailah the nurse told me the room is ready. Masa tu rasa macam Alhamdulillah finally I can lie down and teran keluar anak! XD I think it was around 1300 when I finally got the room to myself and despite my perasaan nak meneran semakin kuat, the doctors and nurses sangat tenang memberi arahan itu ini, cucuk situ sini prepping me for the delivery. 1315 doktor check bukaan it was 8cm (YES!) and called Asfar. But still, I was not allowed to push. Asfar came in muka blur tak tahu nak buat apa and he asked me 'Apa yang I perlu buat?' I felt hopeless masa tu haha. Orang tengah sakit dia sempat tanya kita macam tu. I told him 'Just tolong zikirkan untuk I.' The pain is getting angrier lol and tiba-tiba nurse cakap 'Eh, dah nampak rambut. Okey, puan boleh mula teran bila contraction tu jadi ya.' Nak-nak masa tu juga contraction hilang for quite significant period. Btw masa tu I already asked for painkillers and they gave me this painkiller gas Entonox. It definitely was not helping to kill the pain but it absolutely did distract me from focusing on the pain only. You got what I mean? I'm confident enough to say that I was quite high during my delivery hahaa. While waiting for the contraction to come I actually sempat bebel 'Alahai hilang pulak contraction ni. Orang tak sabar nak teran dah.' Nurse tu senyum je tengok aku. But, once the pain came, I teran kaw-kaw dalam 2-3 kali and gedebush! At 1355, keluarlah seketul bayi yang berambut lebat dengan tangisannya yang kuat itu. Alhamdulillah. Mommy and daddy both keluar air mata jantan tengok anak dah selamat dilahirkan. Sempatlah skin to skin for a few moments before nurse ambil untuk cucikan baby.

Everything happen so fast afterward dengan nurse suruh asfar ambil baju baby and the doctor start the post-delivery process untuk keluarkan uri, check luka untuk dijahit and all. You think after you push the baby out everything is done and you can go to sleep kan? ha ha ha NO. The torture came AFTER that. Doktor cakap dia akan start jahit since ada few luka. katanya. Doktor explain aku ada luka di luar dan di dalam (vagina). Baca je pun dah rasa gerun kan? Masa ni lah yang aku start sedut Entonox macam orang gila tu. I spent less than 10 minutes to push the baby out but I had to keep my legs opened for the whole two hours and a half hanya untuk jahitan. Bayangkan selama tu lah I kept on breathe in Entonox sampai doktor suruh stop sebab takut aku high. (I was already) Habih aku interview doktor tu. Rupanya dia HO. Final year lagi dua bulan akan habis HO katanya. Aku tanya umur lah nama lah. Although I totally forgot his name by the time I got out of the ward. Ada la 20 kali dok ulang tanya 'Tak siap lagi ke doktor? Banyak lagi ke luka doktor? Doktor saya sakit ni. Saya letih sangat ni. Toksei doh doktor bo lah jahit.' lol

Apapun, everything went well after that. Selesai sesi dijahit, tunggu another 30mins dalam tu before nurse tolak masuk wad biasa. Masa tu baru dapat jumpa everyone. Masa tu barulah dapat duduk selesa atas katil. Alhamdulillah. Despite all the chaos, betullah orang kata, when you see the baby, all the pain, all the exhaustion disappear. And from that exact moment, I am a mom.

Assalamualaikum, Thaqif <3

A Year of Doing

2020-04-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah we are slowly closing the first quarter of 2020 (already, what). I've been wanted to write as many as I can starting this year actually. I want to be open up again, in shaa Allah. So many things to share, so many things to rant about. My newborn son, being a stay-at-home wife/mom, my favourite things to do-still-in-the-list, Corona Virus, Netflix etc. I have so many thoughts to let go but somehow haven't got the courage (read=kerajinan) to pick up my laptop and actually type those words down.

But somehow I saw my Prudential planner sitting on my desk written "2020 A Year of Doing". Wow, what a slap on the face. I should have not think of anything anymore. I should just, do it. Right?

Hence, this short post. :D

I will try my best to keep on writing, okay?

Regards,

Syaheera

28th Birthday

2019-10-23T09:11:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum :)

21st October was my birth date and this year (it is our second year actually), Asfar being a sweet husband celebrated it again by having a surprise delivery for me! We were both at home and I was talking to ma on the phone when a sudden knock at the door. He insisted me to open the door although I am obviously preoccupied, so I asked him to open the door instead. I thought poslaju had finally sent me my parcel (cause their service are quite annoying lately) so I don't pay attention much on him but he surely took his time, and I started wondering.

Suddenly, he turned around and had this Happy Birthday balloon, one whole cheesecake and a bouquet of flower in his hand! and with his bigggg shy smile! 😄 I was so surprised I told ma, "Can I call you again later?" haha. I am not the kind of person who like surprises (macam nyanyi kat satu kedai and all) but this little surprise does make my day. :')

Thank you, b 💓

the whole bouquet

hape sweet sangat ni b! :P

I love the colour so much :*

and we had birthday dinner that night at Me'nate Steak House. I ate Mamma Mia Beef Carbonara and it was very delicious srsly guys you should try it. One of the best spaghetti I had!

YUMMEH

and thank you for the gift, b. I'll put it in good use :*

Sayang b.

Korea Trip Part 2 (2016)

2019-09-24T15:53:00.002+08:00

The funny part masa mula-mula sampai guest house di Jeju tu, I cannot park the car sebab entohhh tak reti, lembab tetibe. So, a Korean pakcik offer untuk park kan so I turun kereta and dia terus vroom laju pusing celah mana bawa Sarah :'D So, I ended waiting her in front of the guest house and it was raining at that moment.

There was a guy standing outside, smoking, and apparently, he is a Malaysian, and a Malay! *happy jumpa kawan senegara* Jadi kami berbual-bual sambil tunggu kereta datang balik. He asked how we planned our trip dengan sewa keretanya and all. and berbual punya berbual kemain cakap KL, rupa-rupanya we both are Kelantanese! and lagi lawak he is from Wakaf Bharu (my neighbourhoodlah lebih kurang). He came with another friend and mereka ajak kami dinner together actually. They're making a murtabak Maggie that night (yummeh), then Sarah arrived and we checked in, saying nak clean up ourselves and such and I DID hoping we could eat their murtabak Maggie tapi jodoh tiada since when we went down to the kitchen, the two boys had gone.

So the picture is a picture of our first room in South Korea, in Jeju Island. Quite cozy and chilly although being Malaysian, I like the wind from kipas more than air-conditioner. The wind, particularly. Our room is called ondol. Because there is no bed at all. We were give mattresses, pillows and blankets. It comes with private bathroom so senang hati nak mandi lama-lama pun. We both obviously slept like a log that night. Letih juga seharian fly lah, drive lah. So, yeah.

Good night.

Korean Trip Part 1 (2016)

2019-09-24T15:51:00.001+08:00

Was our first day in Jeju. Sampai di Jeju dah pukul 4 lebih. Dari Jeju airport, terus pergi ke AJ Car Rental untuk amik kereta. Mula² a bit nervous sebab websites said, they don't accept debit and I mentioned that I'm using credit card in the form. But Alhamdulillah everything went well. Next thing yang nerve-wrecking was for me to drive the car steereng belah kanan😅. Since aku je yang ada IDP, I have to be responsible in driving. Oke, nak undur kereta nak keluar dari centre tu pon dah kekok. But we managed. 😂 Sarah in charge of settingkan GPS. Masa nilah bergunanya knowledge membaca tulisan Korea ituhh (thanks bebanyaks oppa²).

We don't know where to go sebab masa tu pukul5 lebih kalau tak silap n flight Farah&Qat akan sampai pukul8, so lepas fikirkan kelaparan dan ketidakselesaan badan yang dah seharian tak mandi, we decided to head to our hostel. Yanggg terletak di selatan of the pulau. N it takes one hour driving nak sampai situ. Dengan kebijaksanaan si syaheera driving (kahkah), kami bertolak terus ke Seogwipo n tengah² perjalanan tu tiba-tiba hujan lebat disertai dengan kabus yang tebal sampai kami tak nampak langsung kereta walaupun tak sampai dua meter di depan. I meant it, tak nampak langsung! I literally drove 20km/h masa tu! Tu pon there was one time I was a bit too much to the right sampai tergelincir sikit tayar kereta n lost control n Alhamdulillah manage to calm down. Nasib baik Sarah wasn't being panicked sebab kalau tak I got more panicked juga heheh. Perjalanan yang sepatutnya sejam jadi makin lama n we arrived our guest house pukul 7pm lebih, was it?

Checked in je bilik, terus rehatkan badan n minda kosong fikir, do I have to go through that road again to fetch farah&qat yang suppose to arrive the airport at 8pm? But then, they called telling their flight got canceled sebab cuaca sangat buruk dan kemungkinan besar tak dapat datang Jeju sebab ramalan cuaca teruk in few days. Diorang dah nangis apa dah kat gimpo sana and kitorang memang tak tahu nak cakap apa tapi ada juga rasa lega sbb tak perlu drive lagi malam tu n go through jalan bukit gelap dgn kabus tebal nak mati ituu.

2019-06-26T17:16:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Apparently, I got married last 1st February with the love of my life. Alhamdulillah :D

Hello, 2018 :)

2018-01-14T12:04:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It is 2018 already!

I am technically 27 years freaking old, with a young heart! :D

Honestly, 2017 was a very idle life of mine. I stopped working out like, completely. In health term, I don't feel as good/active/cheerful as previous years. I joined a run once and yeah, that's it. I just could not recall any sport activity in 2017. My body just ached everywhere, zero fitness and i gained a total 7 kg! Cursed me, someone.

BUT! On the side note, I experienced a lot of new things. Other things. :)

My post-graduate life is very exciting because I met a lot of new people that is different from my usual crowd. I got a new Yemeni best friend, Mohammed Thayban along with other sisters' Amira (who will miraculously become Thayban's future wife soon, InshaaAllah), Syakirah (I have never met any cooler lady than her before. She has zero panic in her life.) 70% of my classmates are working people, especially in government sector. I couldn't help to feel awe looking at their knowledge and experience. Especially all those PTD guys. Some are nice, some are less nicer.

I learnt to not rely on people anymore. There was an episode when I thought I could rely on this guy because he has experience in working, so I thought he is more matured in thinking or doing things. But apparently, I was mistaken and in the end, he is not being helpful and I faced a huge humiliation in my life. I promised myself not to repeat the same mistake and I believe I did. Thank you, for giving me the lesson.

I also went to perkampungan orang asli for the first time. It was for our class program. We went to Kg Santeh at Sungai Siput, Perak. Two days were not enough. Through that program, I learnt a lot as well. Work more than talk. Handling social community program is different compared to corporate program, guys. I wanna talk more about Kg Santeh in my other posts, inshaaAllah.

.....and, I also fell in love. ;) (that needs another special post, i guess?)

2017-05-13T02:32:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

At the moment I'm writing this post, I am going to do some reading for my upcoming seminar on Women Leadership. For your information, life, I am currently a post-graduate student at UPM taking Master in Human Resource Development. Why? Why? I haven't found my real WHY, but I'm figuring it out while enjoying every moment I can these days.

I don't think my life has improved but it does move. Believe me, I don't know what am I doing right now. I made a lot of new friends here. People that are out of my leagues even. Oh, Allah. Where are you taking me from this? I know you are opening path for me. But please, help me in deciding the best for me.

Reminiscence of 2015

2016-07-02T23:42:00.003+08:00

I saw my 2013 post on "Reminiscence of 2012". So I feel like doing a quick 2015 reminiscence. (Despite I'm actually having a translation job due dated tomorrow)

I am an official graduate of BSc (Hons) Statistics. Yes, a statistics student who graduated and currently forgot all those thing I learned in uni. Relax, I still got the memory, it just being kept inside of my head.
During my long holiday (aka menganggur) period, I applied MSc Operational Research and Risk Analysis at University of Manchester and Alhamdulillah I got an unconditional offer. (Haven't done talking about this yet, so don't ask me things)
While doing the above stuff, I was also actively googling about SAP course. So, I found one. A free 3 months course, with reliable certificate as SAP consultant(+-) under Talentcorps with the condition that I am a 6 months undergraduate that is already working. The first condition applied to me but I'm panicked with my jobless status. So, I applied to many companies consulting-related and got none but ended up being a Subtitle Editor at a media company (thanks a zillion to a friend of mine, forcing me to apply for the position, and I got the job the same day I interviewed, and I loved the job but I just quit last April). So, yeah. I got a job on last year's June. 1st day of Ramadhan terus kerja. Imagine my homesickness first time duduk luar hometown kena kerja, pappp terus masa nak dekat raya. HAHA.
I took SAP examination on December setelah 3 bulan berhempas pulas back&forth pergi kelas on weekends. Nasib baik kelas sekali dengan Tan, boleh jugak jadikan partner borak. And I made new friends. Marvin and Aaron and Muiz and Tarmizi and Bee Leng (only talked to them, mostly) We are definitely not the same ages but in the class, we created chemistry. Mula-mula tu I got closer with Marvin and Aaron sebab first task lagi kami dah satu kumpulan. Lunch together ocassionally and all. Lepas dah separated, since we chose different module in the end, I talked more with Muiz or Tarmizi (takdelah cakap banyak sebenarnya.) And they even made me into a class leader, suruh create whatsapp group so that Sir Indran can inform us of anything. He is one of the teacher I respect a lot because he teaches not only for exam, but for us to learn. I was pumped up with his lesson, and although I passed the examination, I still am not confident to enter this industry. Though I actually kinda like what I did back then in MAS ERP. Dan yeah, I got the SAP certificate! (Man, I need to update my resume now)

So, yeah. That's what my 2015 looked like.

(All that I could remember now lah)

2016-07-02T14:50:00.002+08:00

Hi.

I saw my latest post (except the previous one) and yes, macam tak hidup pun ada aku ni hahaha. Anyways, dari previous-es post pasal my wishlist in 2015, ada beberapa perkara yang aku achieved (or was it one thing only?) ;D

Oh, I did get a job. As a Subtitle Editor in a media company. My job was mostly on editing the ENG-BM translated files so that the subtitles appear nicely on screen. Basically, kerja aku tengok cerita je hari-hari sebenarnya. HAHA. Tambah sedap lagi, all the k-shows yang walaupun tak berapa hot sebab bukannya ada idols memanjang tapi still dapat tengok few k-celebs yang kononnya feveret tuh, pun aku dapat layan. That was the fun part la. The not-so-fun part tu tak perlu cerita. Nanti nobody wants to apply for the position. Because I actually already quit myself from the company. Nothing big deals, nothing big wrong, I just feel like quitting. I had another dream, but let's not talk about it now. I loved the job but I feel the need to 'move'.

Post-quitting syndrom : I still am so very sensitive with all the little mistakes I saw on screen. My hands cringe over the awkward Malay sentences. Urgh.