Bouncing Back

Loving this feeling

2012-03-01T22:32:00.001-08:00

I'm so at peace right now with myself. I'm in love and I'm waiting on him to make the next move. It just feels good and no matter what I know what I feel inside. God, I'm just grateful.

Friends!!!

2012-03-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to decide which way is best for me to go with my career. It's always hard when you do everything yourself because you don't have the benefit of other peoples point of view. So I basically have to go by what I think or where I want to go. It's trying at times but I do manage to come out alright in the end. I always see myself as a good problem solver and some times I really get into that sort of stuff. Right now is not one of those times. I have a friend and I really cherish him as a friend. I want him to help me with a few projects while I'm still working out the details but I'm not sure if he has that hunger that I need him to have. He says that he's ready but his action say something totally different. He has no get up and go. It's frustrating to me because I need someone that's completely selfmotivated and has that go get it attitude. It's crazy because I don't know where else to put him except as a good friend. What I don't want is for me to get everything going and after all the hard work is done he then wants in. You feel me? It really would be nice to have help and not have to worry about them doing their thing. I've talked to a few people about this and they tell me that I should do me and don't worry about anyone else. I just see so much potential in him and it's such a shame that he's wasting his talents away. I'm praying for clarity and direction. What a day!

Finding Love Again

2012-01-24T16:59:00.000-08:00

I feel like my life is just starting. I'm so excited about all the good things flowing in. This morning I woke up smiling. I really love that feeling. I have to thank my wonderful boyfriend for that. He's been a life line for me in more ways than one. He makes me feel sexy even when I don't think I am. I can't remember the last time I've smiled this much and I really don't think he believes me when I say that I fall in love with him a little more every day. I'm just so glad he's in my life because I can dream of that thing that I really want again. I so desire a relationship that's based on honesty, communication, and true friendship but most of all true love. We have this connection and I adore that but we still have a lot of growing to do together; I hope.

Taking the time out to enjoy the view.

2012-01-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

I wanted to tell you about my magical night because I never want to forget it. I was down by the bay in Fairhope, Alabama; right down from the Pier. The second day in January of 2012 and the stars were twinkling in the night sky, the wind was blowing so passionately. I walked up to the wharf and heard the water running onto the shore and the gushing sound it made when it rescinded. I sat down and was consumed by everything that was happening around me; the wind was blowing vigorously on my face and I was wrapped tightly in my blanket. I was in awe as the water danced around and roared and I dreamed of surfing (I've never surfed). I just thought how magical. How perfect! I didn't want to leave. It's so amazing to me that the most precious things are free and we don't stop to enjoy them as the gifts they truly are.

My Own Studio, O' my!

2012-01-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

I'm going to have to start my own studio. Really! Can anything else go wrong? Just when I thought I had all the answers life throws me more questions and more things to figure out. Well, I guess I got to figure this thing out. Let's go PJ!

LOVE; MAYBE

2011-12-22T22:16:00.000-08:00

I am so in another world right now. I woke up this morning smiling. Yes! Me smiling. I thought how crazy. It's like everything I wanted is coming to me and I didn't have to work hard for it after all. I just had to be myself. I'm thinking, “can this be love knocking at my door?”

I met this wonderful man that just treats me so good. I'm in awe of him. I still have to tell myself that it's alright and to keep my fears at bay I tell myself that it's real. It's still very hard for me to trust and I know that I will get there one day but for now it's alright to be a little cautious. I'm not saying that he's perfect but I've never looked for perfection. He's just so right for me. We have so much in common and I love this about him. I finally found my man with a heart; who sort of caters to me. He always ask me what I want, what I want to do, or what I'm thinking. He thinks about what I need. Little small things that mean so much. I know this sounds a bit old fashioned but I love that old fashioned kind of guy.

I have no idea where this is going to lead but I'm really excited about the ride. Loving this new found joy and life is so looking good right now.

In Need Of A Miracle

2011-12-20T01:35:00.000-08:00

Wow! I'm getting so many hits from record labels now and I've got to say I'm excited. I didn't think I'd feel this way but I really am. I might have to move; that's a little scary but it's also something new and I so love that. I am so ready for the next chapter of my life; to do what I love and get paid for it. Yeah! I'm so laughing right now, but I need a miracle. You do believe in miracles right? I do. If you believe in miracles then send a prayer up for me because I could really use one right now. Thank you.
I'm just trying to get some collaborations done before hand because I want to take as many artist as I can with me. I think it will be so much fun to do my music all the time, and it's something that could actually happen.

Those Up and Down Moments

2011-12-18T16:09:00.000-08:00

I guess I should tell you that I suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and have for some years. Over the course of my disease I've had my up and down moments but I understand myself so much better now. I know that life isn't perfect and that you are going to fall sometimes but you have to get yourself back up. I always find a way to get myself back up. Let me tell you, it's hard as hell some times but I just keep going until I get there. Because I want to live and I love my life despite what I've been through.
First, I enjoy the moments in life that leave me breathless and I access the moments that leave me starved or broken. You have to think about the things that get you down and try to find a way to get through them; make a note of the things that work. Make sure you don't repeat those things that don't work because this can really be hard if you are constantly failing yourself. When that happens find a quick solution, instant gratification, which can be in the form of a reward -go and get a massage, your hair done or your nails; getting pampered is always good.
Then, I have my own personal inspirational quotes that I use when I need them. Make sure that it's something personal to you that will enhance your life. A positive message so to speak.
Finally, The best weapon to have on hand is a good defense; that means always be prepared for those down moments. For instance, I love comedies such as "Madea" because I love to laugh and they help to ease my tension. Also, I'm such an outside person; so walks in the park, sitting under the stars, or sex in the car under the stars (that's always good too, LOL!). I'm just saying. Didn't expect that, huh?
Life is unpredictable but you can get through it. You just have to be prepared for those up and down moments.

HEART BROKEN

2011-12-17T03:10:00.000-08:00

I'm so having a rough day. I miss my friend. I just feel sad, empty, and a bit lost. I had this wonderful joy inside and it's just gone. I always knew he was there; so it made me feel better. When I had a problem I could just vent to him, or I could explain and he would always know what to say; He always said the right thing at the right time. I took that for granted. I'm such an idiot. It's like he just knew when I needed him. I promised I would stay out of his life and I'm doing that; no matter what. I wish I didn't feel like I was so broken right now and I don't even understand why I feel like this. If I could go back, I would catch myself before I fall then I wouldn't keep tripping over this same old hurt; maybe I'd still have my friend.

What do you want to change?

2011-12-16T23:38:00.000-08:00

If you are wondering how to make it through to another day then this blog is for you. I'm going to show you how I manage to get through to another day with gratitude and wonder of what's to come. So come and enjoy the journey but don't worry too much about the ride.
In 2004, I found it hard to get out my bed, to look at myself in the mirror, to laugh, or to even enjoy the dawning of a new day. I was dyeing and I could care less what happened next. Today, I'm looking at each day as a blessing and so thankful that I get to see it. "How did I get here," you say. I accessed my life as it was, found things that brought me joy, discovered the person I truly was and the person I wanted to be, and figured out what I could change, immediately, that would make me happy. Simple, right? I learned that the simplest things can be the hardest things to change.
Today is the first day of your life; what do you want to change that would make you happy? Right now!