Saying hello to my dancing shoes!

2015....a New Year...three years later and a few food ideas

2015-01-13T20:22:00.003-08:00

I realized I have not blogged in a few months. So, I guess it is time!

It has been three years since I chose to go down this journey with a WLS surgery. While I have not made my goal, I am happy with the fact that I have not gained weight in the last three years and I am still down 40 pounds from where I was when I started dancing again.

These days I mostly just dance on the treadmill and elliptical and a little in my classroom. I am finally back at the gym since my surgery in September. I have to start slow and work my way up. Today was the first day that I did 30 minutes on the elliptical in the last five months. I still took it slow I did 2 miles while my husband did 3.5 miles in the same 30 minutes. After that we tag teamed the weight room, mostly working on upper body strength. Ir is nice to have my partner in life working out with me! On non-school days my teens go work out with us too. It is nice that they are finally supporting me by participating with me.

I think I have found the "green" zone with my band. This is the first time EVER that I have hit that mark with the band. It's about time after two and half years and two corrective surgeries. I wish I could say I am loosing weight, but I am not. My pants are a little looser, but not by much. Hopefully now that I can handle the elliptical again and that I am satisfied with 1200 cals a day things will start improving.

Another plus, my A1C levels are lower than they have been in 10 years. All of my other lab work came back normal. I have a lap that I didn't have three years ago. Mentally I am stronger.

On the negative outcome...I am still obese, still can't fit in rides at most parks. The corrective surgery has caused me to have high blood pressure. We are pretty sure that I won't have to stay on meds for long, but for now I have to take Losartan.
I am gathering meal on my pinterest to keep my food options more entertaining. Here is my favorite Recipes:

Breakfast: Bacon bowls:
One strips of turkey bacon split in half layerd inside cupcake pan, one egg on top of the bacon, with spinach and fat free cheese. Bake at 375 for about 15 minutes.

Lunch: Diced Grilled Chicken with tomato in pesto sauce.
Dinner: Ground Turkey and Couscous stuffed Bell Peppers.

I have replace rice, potatoes and most pasta's in our house with Couscous and quinoa .

Three weeks post op take three

2014-10-12T20:00:00.003-07:00

Okay, well...fixing the port a second hurts worse than the first two surgeries. However, I am recovering and I do have some restriction again. I am currently at 6cc's in my 14cc band. I am so thank to Dr. B for repairing my port again and being an honest Dr and admitting to his mistake. I have managed my weight for the last year without restriction. Which means I weigh what I did after the first port correction, that wasn't placed correctly and leaked. I go back in a week for another fill.

Here WE GO Again....

2014-09-20T10:48:00.002-07:00

Last summer they tried to give me a fill only to find out that my port had flipped and could not be accessed. In August of 2013 I had surgery to remove and replace the port and tubing to the port. The past year, I could the tubing when I laid down or bent over. It seemed like my fills never did anything for more than a few days. I finally became vocal enough to get them to check my band closely for leak etc.

When they did they found out there was a leak and encouraged to go personally see my surgeon and talk to him about the pictures they took while looking for the leak. The nice receptionist at my surgeons office told me there was no need to come in she would just set up the surgery to repair it and check with my insurance. I told her no, I wanted the appointment first. I then had to hang up. I called back after work..my co-worker and I prayed that I would easily get the appointment and it would all be taken care of. I did. I went to that appointment and my surgeon was honest enough to tell me that he made a mistake last year and that his mistake was causing my band to leak. He corrected his mistake this week without me or my insurance having to for it. Even more importantly without me involving an attorney.

Thankfully I have not gained extra weight over the last year. However I weigh in at what I did when I had the first surgery over two years ago.

So in the words of my favorite Joey Mac. Song....HERE WE GO AGAIN! Short term goal 280...long term goal Onederland.

Do you Know me?

2014-03-11T03:30:00.000-07:00

How many times do we just look at people and talk to people and never really get to know that person.

Everyone sees who, I appear to be, but only a few know the real me. You can only see what I choose to show you, there's so much more behind this face than most will ever know.

Do they know me? Do they want to know me? Usually they don't. You read my wall, you may even read my twitter posts and my silly little blog. But until the day comes and you ask to know more, you never will. Do you treat God the same way? Just a glance at his Facebook; reprinted over million times in many different languages. You think you know, but have really taken the time to get to know him?

It truly amazes me about how many people have followed my journey the last two years and somehow has found inspiration enough to loose weight. I am jealous of those that have, see I have gained back over half of my weight. Currently I think my band is making me wore than ever. What I want to do, and what I really do is two different things since we moved last summer. I had an awesome support group in our old town. People look at me, they judge me, they think I don't possibly know anything about eating healthy. After all I weigh nearly 300 pounds. Something must be wrong with me they all say...go see this dr....go see that dr... I just don't get how you can be that size and still eat healthy. Well....mostly I am lying. See, I go to McDonald's a couple of times a week. Not only that but after all of that healthy eating all day, by 9pm I want my sugar. It's like a drug addiction. I want it, I think I have to have it or my anxiety will shoot out the roof. I am drinking one or two Dr. Pepper's a week and one sweet tea a day. Neither of which I should be drinking. But, water is so BORING! My taste buds say ick! I even tried and listened to the dr. about drinking a glass of wine at night. Well, that is also ick and probably not the best idea in the world. I finally achieved my goal last month and completed a solid 30 minutes on the ellipticals. I have not had time to go back to the gym since then. I have been to sick, or to tired the past month. Several doctors have told me I am not only fighting the PCOS, but also fighting the fact that I grew malnourished. Sure, we also had something to eat, but I truly didn't get enough vitamins and protein. I remember being hungry, but there was no more dinner to eat. I remember the mounds of food on others plates, and the tiny portions on mine. I remember always being hungry. I remember discovering food when I was 16, I could finally drive, work and choose my own food. I didn't overeat for a normal person, however i did eat more than what my body was use too. Calorie studies have shown that I only burn 1200 calories a day. You have to have a negative calorie intake of 1000 cals a day to loose one pound a week. That basically means not eating and in my book...that is NEVER okay. I remember not being the perfect skinny teenage girl and spending my first Summer in Dodge City by myself. I had lots of friends at school, but when it came to outside of school I was pretty much by myself. My mom was working two jobs to make ends meet and I sat at home. Once I got tired of sitting at home I rode my bike to a park that was two miles away. I sit there on the same swing and swing for a couple of hours before riding my bike back home. I can think of all the times no one ever has invited me anywhere. As an adult, I don't really even try. I don't expect people want to know me, after few ever have. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, and I am a horrible artist (as my colleagues have recently pointed out). If you know me than you know have a poor self-image, and no self-worth...I don't hate myself, I just don't meet other peoples standards. I live a very guarded life, because that is what life has taught me. A few friends know me well, one is my husband, one is a friend a grew up with, and the other died in September. I remember in middle school my friends starving themselves to death to have the perfect image. I remember one of my friends passing out twice at school because she hadn't ate in days (and possibly was using drugs). I remember one of my friends coming down with series healthy problems from not eating and those problems changed her life forever. If you know me, than you know I fear children having poor eating habits and what it does to their little brains and their bodies in general. We use to talk to our Middle School girls frequently about eating a healthy well balanced diet. How important vitamins and protein are for your body. I know what is like to not have those. I know what that type of eating has done for many people that I love. You will note be healthy without eating a balanced diet. No snake oil will keep you healthy while you are not eating. In this day and age you are not allowed to say anything to anyone but their eating habits. We can't even remind our short attention span students to keep eating in the cafeteria. I find that funny since people have no problem telling me how to eat. I know my current drs. diet provides all the nourishment my body needs and I understand my body has lots of nourishment that it needs to burn. However, not eating takes me back to not being able to eat. You may think you know me, but most likely you don't.

#Living Healthy Happy New Years

2014-01-01T13:14:00.001-08:00

It has been two year since I started my journey to living healthier and loosing weight. I have not lost the weight I wanted to. It is really hard to focus on me with the responsibilities of work, kids, caretaker, wife etc... I am reading a book titled "NO more Christian Nice Girl". It is about learning to tell people no and doing more yourself and still remaining a christian. I really need to take the time to finish reading the book. I have to tell my family no, so I can read the book! LOL. I think I a going to try a new gym this month. I am not sure if I am going to go to Planet Fitness or LA fitness.

I am proud that I have broke my addiction to Dr. Pepper and Reeces. It has been 18 months since I have drank soda pop like it was water. I still have a Dr Pepper every once awhile, but no often. I drink tea and coffee most of the time. I still need to drink more plain water. I now have a fancy refrigerator with filtered water, so that will help.

So...how did I survive the holidays? Well, we didn't have the usual large supplies of sweats that we use too. I only fixed cherry pie and one batch of fudge (which I burned and yet under-cooked at the same time). We had ham, potato's, green bean casserole and potato salad. The good lord gave me the flu for Christmas so my band was to tight and I was unable to swallow anything that wasn't soft. My family still enjoyed a nice meal (which I managed to burn everything).

New Years EVE and New Years Day food:

New Years Eve I ate awful. My mom bought us dinner which consisted of a yummy blue cheese burger and onion rings. After a week of ham, beans, eggs and potatoes it tasted yummy and was appreciated by all. Still all foods that I shouldn't be eating. We than had hummus and chips while we stayed up waiting for the new year.

New Year's Day:
Today I took different recipe's and made bierocks. I used ground Italian turkey, canned sauerkraut, one onion, pepper with a tbsp of Cheddar cheese for the filling and crescent rolls for the outside. It made for a fairly healthy meal and only costs $4.35 to feed a family of six. (I am taking a serving to my mom).

Stay tuned for more to come!

Holiday Food and other ramblings

2013-12-17T21:13:00.002-08:00

How to conquer holiday food....well today I ate the icing while someone else at the cupcake. I never cared much for cake itself, but I love the frosting/icing. Use to, I would have just ate the entire thing, even if I didn't like it. However, I most likely didn't need the calories. We will have lean ham and turkey for dinner. Sugar free foods as much as possible...and no bread for me. I have learned to eat my pie without eating very much of the crust. Pickles are always a Christmas favorite at our house and are healthy. The only thing I can't make healthy is the fudge. I am sure I will have way to many carbs to say the least.

I am noticing that sugar tends to feed depression and to much caffeine feeds my anxiety. Christmas tends to lead to depression anyways...so sugar is no no. I keep telling myself that, but I know I will eat more than what I should. I think the following day the kids and I will take a trip on Dart to downtown and take a walk and play at the park on top of the freeway if the weather is nice. The important thing is, whatever we put it, we must use and not store.

Reflecting on the past...

I have noticed that I stopped loosing weight the week I stopped journaling my food intake and my workout time. I had better fix that. I have also learned that yes, I do stress eat. I don't think I realized how much stress eating I was doing in the past. It is time to find a new to relax. My favorite relaxation food was Dr. Pepper, Reeces and french fries. I no longer drink Dr Pepper (other than about once a month allow myself to have one). That is a huge change for me! I can't believe how much I use to drink! This Christmas, there will be no soda pop other than for my mom. My kids have also learned that pop is not the best choice out there. We drink teas, zero cal vitamin water, lemonade and coffee. I took my kids to the QT and my kids picked up water, milk and eggnog. I am proud of them for choosing healthy drinks.

It is that time of month that we are scrapping what is left in our cupboards and refrigerator. Tonight's supper was not the best. We had mashed potatoes, sausage gravy and turkey bacon.

It is hard to eat properly when I don't get a lunch break all of the time. It is very hard to watch, and care for six year old boys and take small bites and chew slowly. One day I was finishing my lunch as the lapband hiccup came out one of my students says, "Mrs. don't throw up." I have never had that issue in front of my students but that was pretty funny.

This was almost two years ago, while I am not where I want to be, I am better than where I was. Wow! My girls were so little!

I am eating way to fast and food keeps getting stuck. I must get this under control. Again, this is pretty unedited as I am tired and it is late.

My journey equals one of frustration. The unedited version----you were warned.

2013-12-15T21:03:00.002-08:00

Where did my will power go? Oh Sliders foods....you are awful! My favorite foods are all sliders. GRRRRR.

AS the holidays are coming up and of course the time for New Year's resolutions, am I reminded why I started this journey. I went to Goodwill and seen a gorgeous dress, that I should be able to wear by now. Only I still can't.. Two years of being mostly good....and I am about the same size I was two years ago. GRRRRR. Why do I try? The reality...if this is my trying to loose the weight, what would happen if I wasn't trying to loose it.

I don't like being fat, I hate being fat. In order to loose weight, I have to eat less than 800 cals a day. That is hard for a women that loves every aspect of food. From the joy of making it for my family, the joy of the texture and smells of food, to the pride in being able to eat more than ham, potatoes and mac n'cheese I grew up on.

Truth: I am constantly busy and rarely do I get to just sit for ten minutes. I am a professional, mother of three and part time care taker for my mom. I don't have time to work out an hour today. Or even the half hour walk that the LB people say that I need to do be doing. Those people on the weight loss shows are a joke. #1 They live in a nice place and have access to all the healthy foods and cooks to prepare them. #2. They don't have to deal with family obligations. #3 They are somewhat self-centered. If they weren't self-centered then they wouldn't leave their families for three months to go on the show.

My family and I moved to Texas June 2013. When we moved three negative things happened to my journey. #1 I sold my cross trainer, my ski machine and moved into a tiny house where I had no room to workout and lived in a neighborhood that was not safe to walk in. #2. My port leaked all the fluid out of my band and had to be replaced. #3 My stress went up.

I really need my equipment back. However, I am fully prepared and ready to get back on track. My first step will be to read my blog, which stands for my journal. My second step, cook a healthy Christmas dinner. Lean Ham, Turkey, sweat potatoes, green bean casserole with low fat cream soup, sugar free pies, unhealthy potato salad made with Splenda and pies made with splenda and jello. And...of course I will measure my cup of food and leave the rest for my family.

But hey, at least I am no longer gaining weight. The only time I have gained weight was when there was no fluid in my band. It is late and this will post without being edited tonight.

12 days post-revision and feeling Good!

2013-08-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

I started working with my new students full time this week. I was a little worried about my incision not being healed well enough for this week, however it is healed, scabs gone, bruising gone. I am however seriously lacking the energy I normally have. *yawn*.

I feel more restriction than I have since December of 2012. I only have 6 cc's in my band. I was up to 8 cc's October 2012. I was suppose to be at 7.95 cc's at my last fill in March. However, I don't think I truly was, I still think I was lied to by the NP. I back down to 1200 cals a day and happy that way.

I also have a work out group at work. It is a group that dances for their workouts. So...100 days of dance here I start (as soon as my after school meetings go away.)

Sincerely,

Angela Grossman

4 days after revision

2013-08-18T16:55:00.002-07:00

I had a revision done four days ago. So far everything is going well. The dr. replaced my port and I for sure have 6cc's of fluid in my band. Today marks day two of soft foods and I already have more restriction than I did prior to surgery. I am not sure what was left in my band before the surgery. Today for lunch I ate 1c. of refried beans and felt stuffed. I am not going to get too excited I know my tummy is still swollen from the surgery. I am starting into year two of this band thing and I am ready to make year two better than year one!

I am going back to work tomorrow and have very little pain left. The pain I do have is controlled by Tylenol. Port revision is not that big of a deal.

Revision, Happy with True Results!

2013-08-13T22:38:00.002-07:00

I am very happy with True Results to fix my port at their costs. My procedure will be on Thursday this week and 11am. I have to be their for the procedure at 10am. Then back in the running I go! I looked at a nice birthday gift for myself. My kids laughed at the cost, but I think I am going to go all out and get a Treadmill. This is the one I want: http://www.walmart.com/ip/Golds-Gym-480-Treadmill/11993389,

My birthday is next week and with my revision I want to make sure I am working out again. I have not kept up with my workouts this summer at all since I hurt my hand and foot.

I will keep you updated on my surgery as I can stand to get on here.

Foods that I eat:

2013-08-07T11:09:00.001-07:00

I thought I should write what I each day. I won't post and advertise these blogs, but if you want to know you can read and find out. I will be honest!

Yesterday Breakfast: two poached eggs, toast and two slices of turkey bacon
Yesterday Lunch: 1c. of Mac and Cheese (not suppose to eat this, but it is what I can afford)
Snack :6 Lemon cookies that I had bought for the kids
Dinner: two pieces of church's chicken (hey it was 99 cents) 1/4c potatoes and 1/4c. of coleslaw
10pm snack: Doritos (i shared with my daughter) and a Hershey oh and a 32oz frozen Dr Pepper.

That looks like a lot of calories yep, it was 2477 calories in all. 1335 calories were from snacking late last night. The lap band is suppose to keep me from being hungry between meals. The band has never kept from my 1 pm snacks. That is something i have to work out on my own I guess. Yes, Mac n Cheese is a slider food, but it was actually eating the full meal at dinner time then two hours letter getting my the chips, candy and frozen DP that hurt me. I didn't feel hungry after eating the mac n cheese. I did feel hungry after eating the full course meal. That is odd.

I do want to add that I was very active yesterday. I took four little girls swimming for two hours and played and swam with them. Then I went to my moms and helped her unpack somethings in her house. It was most likely the reason why I became hungry.

I use mynetdiary to track my intake and my output. While I ate 2477 cals I burned 2579 from the swimming and unpacking. That doesn't include my short walk to the pool, walking my dog or other daily activities. Therefor according to my phone app, my total daily calorie loss was 2862. Which should equal loosing 14oz's. Which does equal to the difference on my scale. : )

What is PCOS?

2013-08-07T09:19:00.003-07:00

I still have some people asking what exactly PCOS and I think women need to know since most doctors do NOT know or think about it. So, I am going to give you some info from WEBMD feel free to click and to go to their website for more information. I am thankful I was able to have my kids with just using metformin for the last two pregnancies. (Johanna and my babies I miscarried). I also only have some extra hair that is easy to get rid of.

Here is the excerpt from WEBMD:

Port Revision coming to my tummy soon..

2013-08-05T22:19:00.001-07:00

Anxious. Nervous. Is it worth it?

Okay, well I knew that having a revision was a possibility. I know the downside of a lap band is the promise of more surgeries. I am thankful that True Results is performing the surgery at their expense next week. I am not sure what happened with port or when the port flipped. However I do know we are going to fix it next week. I can't leave it the way it is. I know the band worked in the beginning to control the cravings. I have to be smart about it, but it does control the cravings.

I am looking for a classroom for this school year, but I know my surgery may cause issues with this. I also know special education is very stressful and time consuming. I also know that I need to have time to get healthy. I think for this school year I am going to sit on the sidelines and sub teach and focus my after school on my body and making my band work. On the other hand, we need the income and insurance to pay for my health. It's a catch 22. However, Do you know how hard it is to get a job teaching when you are overweight? Principals sometimes treat obese teachers horribly (unless of course they have first hand understanding).

While sitting here wondering if it is all worth it. Something hit me hard this summer. Our family has a membership to 6 flags over Texas. You may have heard about the lady that literately flew off the roller coaster. Some people think it was because of her size. The lady appeared to be my size. My daughter and I had planned on going on that roller coaster. That could have been me. I am dumb enough to ride on rides that I have no business going on. After all the rides all say as long as you can buckle up you can ride. Well, she was buckled up....so what went wrong? I have not been used our membership since that day. I will, I just need my thoughts to settle. I want to be able to go on all the rides next summer! I want to be able to ride them knowing that the restraints will hold me! I don't care to die on a roller coaster.

My friend thinks I should write a book about my health journey. I am willing, but someone else will have to pay for publishing! LOL

Weight loss Journey Bible Verse: Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Matthew 6:25
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

This week has been better!

2013-07-26T19:50:00.001-07:00

This week has better. I have been able to work out and walk this week now that my foot and ankle is healed. I have not weighed myself, but since I started working out again I have not been eating as much. As a matter of fact, I have not been hungry most of this week and I have skipped meals because I didn't think about eating. Then when I do eat I am not eating as much. I was going to do the liquid shake thing all day, but instead I have just had them for breakfast. I guess that counts as eating.

Red meets seem to work best with my band. This week I am going to try to eat more red meat and less Turkey and Chicken and see what happens.

still waiting...carb cravings are huge

2013-07-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

My cravings for carbs have been at an all-time high this summer. I am struggling to get it under control. I have gained 20 pounds since March. The scale needs to start moving in the other direction soon! GRRR!!!!

I am still waiting to hear back from the surgeon about my port revision so they can try filling my band more.

In the mean time I am going to drink protein shakes for the next couple of weeks and clear the carbs out of my body. This usually helps to get my carb cravings down.

My foot is healed for the most part so I can start working out and walking again. This will help as well.

Being obese and loving food sucks.

Something positive---Meeting Donnie Wahlburg, Jordan night, Jon Knight, Joe Mac and Danny Wood

2013-07-16T22:47:00.003-07:00

While I am not where I want to be I am getting closer! This summer I had the opportunity to meet my favorite Boy Band. It was an amazing adventure! While I am still obese and have daily struggles with fast food. I had rumors that Danny Wood has rude to obese fans. I have never experienced this with him. He actually has congratulated me on my loss on Twitter. He said that I looked "really good" when I finally met him. As I went down the line I had nothing but encouragement on the way I looked. Donnie said, "You look fine" and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Why is this so important to my journey? Yes, my husband compliments me and finds me attractive. However 15 months prior to this I met Jordan Knight in Las Vegas and was so self-conscious about my weight that I felt I didn't deserve to meet him (even though I had PAID to meet him.) This had nothing to with Jordan and everything to do with me. My confidence is higher than what it has been. Donnie and Danny made me feel very comfortable with meet and greet.

Donnie Wahlberg and me!

Right now though I am struggling. My cravings are not under control and neither is my mindset. I fractured my foot at the end of May and I have not been able to work out. If I am not working out I tend to eat more out of boredom. Plus it is summer and I am not working...so I have more time to think about food. I have gained 20 pounds since March. I really am feeling this 20 pounds. It needs to go away and go away quickly. My new clothes are tight and my breathing is heavy and difficult. I don't remember noticing the breathing before. I think this is from staying off my foot for the last several weeks. Fried foods have got to disappear.

This week I have been on a mission to eat healthier. I bought fish, shrimp, Edamame, tuna, chicken, eggs, ground lean turkey, skinless chicken breast, tenderized round steak, turkey sausage, fruit and veggies to make our dinners. I HATE fish, but I prayed that God would make it taste good and well...together we did it and my Tilapia was pretty good. My foot is FINALLY lost all of its swelling and I have been able to take my walks without pain this week. Somehow I have to get back to my two hour workouts.

I am ready for this next part. It is time to be below 250. My next goal is 250 by Labor Day and 200 by Christmas.
I apologize I am to tired to edit this tonight, but I want to publish it anyways!

Band complications

2013-07-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

Two things are up with my band. Number one..I may not have been receiving fills when I was told I was receiving fills. The paperwork does not show the I received the last two fills that I was told I received. There is no way to tell if I received them or not because my port has flipped and is not accessible. I am 13 months out from surgery and already have to have a revision. Hopefully after the revision/during the revision my band can be filled to where I need it. I am hungry, looking for food and finding everywhere I drive or walk in this city and gaining the weight back faster than I lost it. Really disappointed. At this the lap band and the whole process seems to be another failure.

Left hanging with useless piece of plastic.

2013-04-09T18:14:00.001-07:00

I have stayed positive through this entire ordeal. However I feel like the clinic I used banded me, and the first signs of trouble left me hanging. Everything went great with my band until I became sick with Swine flu, then had a round of Mono this winter. The clinic had to take fluid out because I was ill. That was back in Nov. They still don't want to fill me up where I was before. I am back to the old cravings as usual. Now, they are refusing to make me an appt for another six weeks, because they don't have any openings. I am sitting here in tears, because one year ago, I thought if I did my part, than this would work and go well. Instead True Results gave up on ME the moment I became ill and started having problems. I have never been past 8cc'ss in my 14 cc band in the last ten months. I have never been down to the 1/2 c. a food a meal they want us at, and yet they have refused to get me there and now refuse to get me in. Not that they have done ANYTHING the last six months when I have went.

I guess I will give up until we get moved to Dallas and I can find a new clinic and have the money to switch clinics, which by the way will costs $1,000. Which means I might as well give up completely.

the long winter

2013-02-28T21:24:00.001-08:00

In previous posts I had mentioned being sick and feeling like garbage since November when I had the flu. I found out from my gyn that I most likely had H1N1 and some E virus. I couldn't remember what the "E" Virus was to look it up when I got home. To make a long story short I was searching Mono for a student today. While reading about it I found its medical name. You may already know it, but yes it is the mystery "E" Virus that my GYN said was acting up on me again. Okay, so I get it now. The swine flu causes lung and tummy problems, cold chills and fevers that last for weeks. The mono reactivated itself and caused even more fatigue and muscle weakness. My iron was never anemically low. I was just down from the Mono. If you have ever had mono you know there is no way for your body to be able to burn fat and now way to survive on just a few hundred calories a day when you are that sick. My cravings were truly from the food being needed to heal my body.

I posted on face book and twitter a couple of weeks that I felt like I could run five miles. That was the first time I felt normally since Thanksgiving.

Now for the hard part, I am better now, but I am still hungry and looking for food. I have never went over 1500 cals in one day. I have however had candy bars and additional caffeine products. Those are not good when you are trying to burn fat.

I go back to my LB dr. in two weeks. We will see what they have to say. But, it makes since to that the H1N1 and the Mono (enlarged spleen) was causing my food to get stuck in my band, not just the 8.25 cc's that was in my 14cc band. I am so ready to get back on this now that I feel better. Wish me luck! I was able to eat an entire cheeseburger before feeling full the other day. I really don't want to eat like that.

Thankfullness

2013-02-21T19:35:00.000-08:00

PCOS patients have a hard time ever having children. I am so blessed to have overcome mine and had my children while I was young enough that my PCOS didn't stop my first two pregnancies at all. It did slow down my third child and cause two miscarriages. I read more and more women with PCOS have not been able to have children. I however have been blessed with three babies.

So how could I have them? For one, it was God's will. The other I never used any type of birth control. I knew since I was 16 that something was wrong. By the time I was 19 I knew if I had kids I had to have them soon. When you figure that from 1998 to 2007 I never used birth control of any kind and only had three birth during those years.

The last pregnancy was a 10% chance of survival of rate. The dr. put me on Metformin for the insulin resistance and did some test to see if my tubes were open or collapsed. In order to do this inject die into the ovaries and blow air through them. If they are collapsed then this will open them. It also clears the cysts out of the tubes. I lost 60 pounds in three months on the Metformin and got pregnant with twins. (I also started using an ovulation spit tester.) I lost the twins at 9 weeks. Then three months later I became pregnant again. After having two miscarriages I did everything wrong in the first trimester. It was God's will for her to com into our world.

Friends, don't give up. pray and keep trying.

Life happens

2013-02-19T17:25:00.004-08:00

I am down four pounds in the last three weeks! I think maybe things are starting to turn around. The more think about it the more things make sense as to why I was not loosing weight before.

1. SMALL BITES and WAITING one minute in between bites. I have not been good about that rule.
2. Yes, I have had my share of chocolate since Christmas.
3. Sodium, everything that I had been eating was high sodium. I am watching this closer.

Three goals for myself over the next week.

1. NO more candy.
2. NO more frozen cokes ( i have had a few lately)
3. Make my food for lunch at home and take it to work. ie. NO processed foods.

This will be difficult time for coming ahead. My husband has taken a job in a different state and I have to stay in this state until the end of the school year. I have three problems with this.

1. I have never been a single mom.
2. I have never went longer than a week without seeing my husband. ( We have only been apart 30-50 days our entire 14 year marriage)
3. I have to do all of the cooking. My husband has been great during this journey by cooking our meals.

Okay, well that is enough lists for you. Have a great day! Remember the band is a tool not a magic stick.

Where is my quick fix?

2013-02-11T21:26:00.000-08:00

Ugghhh after a year of this I want to eat. I want to really eat. But eating is not helping the process. I am so irritated I am once again not loosing what they dr. says I should. I am about 30 pounds where I should be in weight loss. I am on feet most of the day at work with no energy left to work out at home. My goal is to loose 60 more pounds by June 1st. ( I know this seems like a lot, but I am behind by 30 pounds already). The only thing I can figure is forget the band and go back to protein shakes for a few weeks. That is going to be hard because I want to EAT! So this weekend I did give in and eat and gained 6 pounds, yes 6. It will take me a month to that 6 pounds. Over eating a chicken sandwich and a low-carb hamburger. My calories on Sunday was 2248. I normally do not go over 1200.

My knees are hurting all of the time again. This also hinders the workout. I just want to loose the weight, be healthier and be done with all of this.

What is even worse is that my BP is higher than what it ever has been. I thought loosing weight was suppose to lower my BP. Instead it has made it higher. I wish I knew what I am doing wrong. I feel like the clinic is giving up on me as well. Okay, enough complaining.

Dr. appt.

2013-01-31T15:51:00.001-08:00

My Gynecologist is pretty sure my PCOS is symptoms are over with. We are going to do some lab work to find out. I told him we are concerned that it is stopping me from loosing weight like I should be. He thinks most likely it is due to the bad virus's that we have had this winter ( H1N1 and some other tummy virus that lasts for weeks). I have been exposed to both this winter. H1N1 is the most recent one I have been exposed to, so far I have managed to only have a small does of it. He also thinks that since my body is fighting chronic yeast infections and not taking my estrogen replacement that it maybe keeping my body from doing what it is suppose to. Other than that everything is pretty normal. I have to start taking my estrogen again. I hate taking estrogen because of its risks for cancer. However, I know my body needs it to stay healthy.

I have worked out everyday except one day this week! The highest calories that I have ate in a day was 1280. I walk anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 steps a day. Praying the the flu gets completely out of body so all of this hard work and restriction works.

What an Amazing Journey

2013-01-28T20:47:00.002-08:00

I have not blogged in a long time. I really didn't feel like it. However I feel like tonight's blog will be lengthy. I will post some fat lady jokes along the way to keep you entertained. : )

Well in November had became sick with the flu and started vomiting. After that my band didn't feel right and couldn't swallow properly. My NP had to take fluid out of my band. I went through Thanksgiving and Christmas with very little restriction in band. My weight has been pretty much been stagnant since then. I am still eating 1200 to 1400 calories a day and taking a minimum of 6,000 steps a day. My weight went up a few pounds, I have now lost those few pounds again.

My health: My energy level is low, I am low on iron and taking prenatal vitamins with iron. I am low on B Vitamins and drinking vitamin water to make up for it. My prescription for my estrogen has run out so I am low on that as well. Overall, I am tired and feeling yucky by the end of my work day. Everyday at 1:45, 2.5 hours after lunch I feel like I am going to collapse.Last week my band was put back to almost where I was before I became ill in November. I have exactly 8cc's of fluid in my 14cc band. This keeps me full most of the day.
I do think that my Insulin Resistance is acting up. I have severe cravings for sugary foods. This had not been a problem since my surgery. I am going to go see my Gyn. on Thursday to get back on my Metformin or something like it. I hate taking them because they make me so ill at first.

"I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there."

Yeah, exactly. I did join a gym here in town in November and I have not lost anything since then. Apparently you do have to have time to go to the gym and use the membership. I guess I need a 24 hr fitness center, however I am sure I would then find another excuse. Something like but I need to sleep at night.

Seriously, I have no idea how to manage my time between mom, wife, caretaker, school teacher, and looser that still needs to loose another 120 pounds. It all goes back to that too many hats song by Amy Grant.

Speaking of songs...did you know that my favorite boy band wrote a song about me? It is called Remix (I Like..) by New Kids on the Block. It is out on Itunes today. It's about someone that goes from being a 2 to being a 10. Hmmm... I am not a 10 yet, I have a long way to go!

Remix (I like that) Click here to hear the song about me! LOL Seriously Danny Wood did tweet my weight loss a couple of months back and congratulated me. Feel free to go to I Tunes and purchase the song.

Hmm 10, Dr. Pepper 10. Something I don't drink anymore. I have had a couple of 8 oz Dr. Pepper's along the way, but nothing like I use too. I think the worse thing I am doing now is those darn Reese's Big Cups and frozen Ice's. Not that I have them daily or anything, but that is a lot of calories when you don't have to work out.

I am going to start blogging again, because it helps me and encourages me. I hope you learn something from it.

My next goal, I need to loose 60 more pounds by June 28, 2013. I know can, I just need to work at it. I would love suggestions on how to curve the craving for sweets.

I ordered a dozen boxes of Girl Scout cookies out of habit. I will very quickly feed them to my family and move on. I hope.

On the bright side, I did not have significant weight gain over the holidays. But it is now time to get busy and start loosing again.

Failure = bump in the road.

2012-11-08T21:26:00.002-08:00

The couple of weeks I have had a hard time with food sticking. I went to my dr. on Monday to find out what to do. I am not loosing weight and it is hard to eat. When having a lap band it is very important to talk to your dr. when you are having problems. The determined that a combination of stress and my flight to Dallas two weeks ago has caused the band to fill tighter than normal. They had to decrease the amount of fluid by 1cc in my band. My responsibility is to drink liquid food for a week, soft food for a week, then go back to try to fill my band again. Then back to liquids and soft foods. I won't be able to eat solid foods until the day after Thanksgiving. However I have lost six pounds since my dr. appt. and I feel much better than what I did before we took the fluids out. This is what we call the hard part of life. Eating soup all week is awful. I want FOOODDDDD!!!! Okay, enough complaining. I never knew that stress changes the way your body functions and sits on the inside. That is weird I must learn to deal with my stress better so I don't have to go through this again. Someone mentioned Yoga a few months ago. I still hate Yoga. I keep trying, but I don't like it.

The easy part: more confidence, lots of positive praise from co-workers, more energy. My waist is 10 inches smaller. My hips are 12 inches smaller (thank God!). I won't mention how much my bra size has decreased. My arms need some serious tightening of skin. The rest of my skin seems to be doing fine without the excess (again thank GOD!)

I sooo want to dance on stage again. I know that is silly for a 36 year old mom of four.

I tweeted to Danny Wood about how much weight I have lost this year. He nicely re-tweeted my tweet. (Oh, if you don't know he is a New Kid on the Block).

So if you are still reading my long blog here is my stress relief and complaining:

1. I live in a town that has a high problem with violence and I am scared for kids.
2. My husband hit a curb last week and did quite a bit of damage to the front end of my van. It is sitting at the shop waiting for the insurance adjuster to make a decision. Meanwhile I am paying $35 a day for a van rental. I love the rental, but at the same time it makes me extremely depressed that I can't buy new one.
3. My oldest son is getting himself into a lot of legal problems.
4. We are trying to take care of #1 by the end of the school year. At first we talked about going to Texas. Now we are thinking California. Just thought of this is giving me gas as I write.
5. My thirteen year old is acting like a thirteen year old, not listening, has failing grades for the first time ever and is just being a pain.
6. I never have time for my youngest daughter. I know this and it is not right.
7. i am trying to get my moms care going so I can drive it instead of the rental van. I have no idea why it is not starting.
8. WORK...WORK....WORK.
9. Chores that are not being done.
10. I never get enough sleep.