Wondering Thoughts

Answer

2010-07-07T03:49:00.000-07:00

How blessed we are, Your creation,
Formed by the Creator hands,
Born with a Master plan.
We have a loving Father,
whose blessing fill our every breath.

Yet, how easily we lose sight,
of the blessing of our very life,
and chase after the desires
of our worldly heart.
Searching after the newest thing,
to fill the emptiness within.
Even though we already know,
the answer to what we're looking for

Noise

2010-07-07T03:47:00.000-07:00

Lord,
How hard is it to cut out,
The noise of the world around us.
The constantly changing frequencies of our heart,
Tend to tune into the things that aren't you.
How I long to hear your voice loud and clear,
instead of the static of my sin.

I let this happen,
I invited the static to come in.
Instead of tuning into your sweet whispers,
I've settled for the music of the world.
Except that I realized as time went by,
that this music was really just static,
To keep your voice from reaching me.

So here I am, struggling to cut through,
The static of the world around me,.
To retune my heart to the frequency of your love,
So I can hear your quiet whispers,
Singing to me a long song.

All of Me

2010-05-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

Emotions rage within my soul,
As tears well in my heart,
Feelings and yearning to matter,
Wage war with my thoughts that I do.
Feeling forgotten by those who I love,
Fight against knowing they remember and care.
The battleground of my heart and soul,
Lies in pieces unable to be whole.

God,
I try to find refuge in you,
Yet I don't do what I should do.
I walk out on my own and fall apart,
Instead of dwelling in your presence.
I'm a failure at being your son,
Yet you continue to bless me,
Which I know I don't deserve.
So here I am, Lord,
Once again for more than the hundredth time,
To lay all of me at your feet.
To the foot of the cross I come,
with the burdens I chained onto my back.

Lord,
Would you break these chains once again
and take this burden from me?
Will you forgive me for my failures,
and wash me clean again?
Even though I know I am unworthy,
May I carry the weight of your cross,
sacrificing ALL of me for the sake of Your love?

Here I am Lord,
All of me, with my brokenness and dreams,
I surrender to the One who created me
and saved me from myself.

Forgotten

2010-05-04T15:58:00.000-07:00

Walking life together leaves an imprint on your soul,
of the people with whom you walked along the road.
Memories of time spent bind you together,
even if eventually you walk down separate roads.
Yet, when you no longer walk life together,
each going on separate journeys,
you long for the presence of the others,
for they are a part of your soul.
Yet life goes on with each step forward,
each caught up in their path,
and even though the memories bind you together,
no matter what the distance may be,
they are also a painful reminder,
of how forgotten you feel.
For the life of others go on without you,
leaving you feeling like you are walking all alone,
even though your memories try to tell you,
your journey is not only your own.

Trying to bridge the distance,
to reconnect with the people in your memories,
can sometimes lead to joy,
but can also just lead to hurt.
For if your efforts are unrequited,
it just multiplies the pain.

Burning

2010-05-04T15:33:00.000-07:00

A yearning burns within my soul,
A dream of holding a life of my own.
A fire that burns my heart to ash,
for it is still a dream beyond my grasp.
Why does my heart grieve for this dream,
When I have all you have given me?
Seeing the dream fulfilled all around me,
Feels like being stabbed in the heart,
leaving my heart and soul in tatters.
This yearning is so deep and real,
That I feel its who you've created me to be,
Yet I find myself staggering over the pain that I feel.

Is this how you feel Oh Lord?
Is this the pain that you feel each day,
as you watch your children turn away?
Do you yearn your children the way I do,
for them to come running back to you?

Lord,
Why can I yearn for you,
Like I yearn for this dream?
Will a greater presence of you,
fill this void that I yearn to fill?
Even though my heart bleeds with this yearning,
I will give it to you, Oh Lord,
and trust in your loving Will,
and wait for the day,
when this dream will be fulfilled.

Post Christmas prayer

2009-12-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord,
On this night You were born to save,
this broken world from its own decay.
You gave up everything to become a man,
for that was Your father's master plan.
So while angels and shepherds worshipped You that day,
we just seem to get lost along the way.
We come before you with our hearts all hidden,
by the wrapping and ribbons and the gifts we've been given.
The meaning of your birth gets lost in the crowds,
shopping at the malls with their heads in the clouds.
It used to be simple, this day was for you,
oh, how I wish this year that this could have been true.

So Father help me to find my way back,
to the true meaning of Christmas that we all seem to lack.
May Christmas become a day about you,
instead of the presents and all the things that we do.

Christmas Night

2009-12-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

As a child I learned to sing, “Joy to the World”
Yet on this joyous day,
Joy seems so far away.
Is this really what I was singing for?

What does it all mean,
When the words hit the wall,
And the Sunday school answers
Leaves you reaching for more.

We go about our merry way,
Since it is a gift giving day,
Yet all we do is shop till we drop.
Is this really what You were born for?

What does it all mean,
When the symbols mean no more.
And Santa Clause was just a dream,
That’s not worth living for.

We wish for “Peace on earth and love for all “
Yet ignore the homeless on the street,
Orphans cry, children die, and nation’s bleed,
While we sit all cozy in front of our trees.

What does it all mean,
When the reality hits our world,
And the emptiness of it all,
Leaves you searching for more

We celebrate your birth this day,
Yet your presence seems so far away,
For we worship you the night before,
Just to forget about you as we walk out the door.
Cause this day has become just another day,
To spend money on each other and ignore the world’s pain.

What is left when it all is stripped away,
When the greatest gift becomes a simple game?
Can we ever get back to the childlike faith,
That made Jesus’ birth mean so much more than this?

Lose sight

2009-12-12T14:55:00.000-08:00

Oh God,
How easy it is to lose sight
of your goodness,
when the world brings us down.
To focus on the burdens and trials,
instead of on the continual blessings
of your love.
We let the frustrations of each day,
drown out the countless bless that you give.
Only by focusing on your grace and love
can our hearts be set free,
of the burdens that drown us.
Help us Lord,
to come before you with
an attitude of thanksgiving.
To focus on all that you are are,
instead of what brings us down.
May your Spirit set us free from
the daily chains we bind ourselves with.

Shrouded

2009-11-10T14:50:00.000-08:00

Here we are Lord,
Shrouded in the mist of
uncertainty and frustration,
we cry out to you.
So many unknowns,
taken over by worry,
we are weary and in need of you.
We desire to be wrapped in your arms,
to trust in your goodness and love.
To focus on your presence,
instead of the unknowns that shake us.
Lord,
Help us to overcome
our fears and frustrations.
To lay these burdens down
at the foot of your cross.
To take joy in the blessings that you give,
instead of focus on the questions in our minds.

Oh Lord

2009-04-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

Oh Lord,
I come before you,
with a heart full of praise.
For the wonders and blessings,
which invade my everyday.

Oh Lord,
I come before you,
with a heart full of thanks.
For reigniting the passion,
which was barely a flicker in my soul.

Oh Lord,
I come before you,
with a heart wanting to trust.
To be able to surrender,
everything you have given me,
so I can walk one step closer to you.

捧げます (I will offer)

2009-01-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

主よ、
今まで自分勝手なことを、
繰り返して生きて来た。
あなたの祝福を忘れ、
自分だけを信じ、
先に進んだ。
何回も自分のおろかさに気付いても
何回もつまずいても、
自分で進もうとした。

でも、もうそうゆう生き方はごめんだ。
だって、心の底が空っぽで、
生きてる感覚が全くない。
今までの過ちに気付いたから、
あなたの御座の下に、
身を寄せて、
許しを求め祈り続け、
私の全てを
そこで私の主に捧げます。

Oh Lord,
Until now, I have lived life,
repeating selfish things.
I have forgotten your blessings,
and walked forward believing only in myself.
No matter how many times,
I realized my own foolishness,
or how many times I've stumbled,
I've tried to move forward on my own.

But, I've had enough of living this way,
because the depths of my heart is empty,
and devoid of the sense of life.
Because I have realized the mistakes I have made,
I draw near to the foot of your throne,
and seek forgiveness through continual prayer,
and from where I am,
I offer the entirety of my who I am,
to My Lord.

Soul's Resolve

2009-01-11T22:53:00.000-08:00

From the depth of my soul,
I come before,
the One who created me.
To bow before,
the savior of my soul,
to surrender all these things.
The life that you have given me,
Your blessings and my gifts.
My dreams of what is to come,
my passions and my joy.
The people in my life,
my heart and my love.
The struggles that I face everyday,
my scars and my pain.
The memories of my past,
the ups and the downs.
I lay all of these down,
at the foot of the cross
of the One who bore my sin.
To let Him know,
my soul's resolve
to surrender all to Him.

Restlessness

2009-01-11T22:50:00.000-08:00

Restlessness invades,
and I feel like I'm drifting,
through an endless maze.
My heart searches,
for meaning in this world,
yet is unable to find,
what its looking for.
My soul yearns to be free,
on the dead feeling inside.

How I long to feel,
the burning of life and passion,
and the joy of purpose and meaning.
Yet I search for these,
in all the wrong places,
instead of surrendering them all
to the One who created me.

Blessed

2008-12-29T16:44:00.000-08:00

Lord,

How can I even begin to count,
the many ways in which you have blessed me?
There aren't enough hours in the day,
to name them and give you thanks and praise.
So here I am before you, at this year's end,
to praise your for your blessings,
which come with no end.

I thank you for my family,
both here and far away.
For the wonderful friend,
who support and encourage me.
For the partner you have given me,
to live life together for you.
For the opportunities you have given me,
to be molded in your image.
For the purpose you have created me for,
to love others as you love.
For the person you have created me to be,
even though I constantly fall short.

Lord,
If I consider all that you have done for me,
I realize that my very existence is a blessing from you.
So even though I know I could never thank you enough,
May my heart sing your praises the rest of my days

Picture

2008-12-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

Lord,
You've shown me a picture,
though clearly I can't see it,
And the pieces of that picture,
are scattered before me.

In seeking after you,
I have finally accomplished,
to put some pieces together,
yet so much still remains.

God,
I believe these pieces,
will come together on their own,
if I keep following the path,
down which your voice is leading

When the picture is finished,
and it becomes completely clear,
The door to that path will open,
and the new journey begins.

Untitled

2008-11-03T03:40:00.001-08:00

Oh Lord,
It is so easy to take back the things
that we have surrendered to you.
Even though we once placed them into your hands,
we reach up and take them back,
thinking we can deal with them better on our own.

Why does this cycle continue?
I thought I would have learned my lesson by now,
but instead I repeat the mistake of taking things back from you,
only to fail miserably on my own.

God,
here I am again, wandering and lost,
on this path you led me down.
I can see a glimpse of the future you're leading me towards,
but have no idea how to take the steps to get there.

I surrendered myself to you,
but it seems like I have taken myself back,
even though I am nothing on my own.
The hope and peace I had in you has faded,
because of my own selfishness and stubbornness,
and all I'm left now is a glimpse of what you have shown me,
with nothing to lead me there.

Lord,
I know your voice is calling,
that you are showing me the way,
but I have not been listening,
or looking for your face.
Help me out of this trap I'm in,
for I don't want to be stuck here.
I can't get out of this on my own,
for it was because I tried to go it alone,
that I am back here once again.

Person-shaped Hole

2008-09-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

I didn't know I had this before,
This person-shaped hole I feel inside.
For now that you're gone from my reach,
Your missing presence leaves me empty.
God,
This emptiness I feel inside,
the aching of my heart and soul
leaves me broken on my knees,
crying out with no more tears.
Yet God,
I know you are near,
for I have heard your voice.
Your presence of peace,
floods over me in my despair.
You hold me tightly,
in your loving embrace
and whisper sweet words of comfort,
into my yearning ears.
So while my person-shaped hole may never go away,
You, God, will help me through the pain.

Missing You

2008-09-11T05:24:00.000-07:00

All these years you were always there,
the voice from behind me,
the gentle presence over my shoulder,
I got so used to you being here,
the friendly face that always greeted me.
Through the ups and downs, we laughed and cried,
but now all I feel is emptiness inside.
For your reassuring presence is beyond my reach,
And your voice can only be heard in my memories.
I know you're in a better place and are whole once again,
With your heavenly father, who you loved so much.
Yet, as I stay behind and stare at your empty chair,
With the memories of you flowing with my tears,
I can't help but feel empty inside,
Because I'm missing YOU

Respond

2008-09-06T03:10:00.000-07:00

God,
I see your tears,
falling on this place.
As you cry over the hurt of your children
who chase after everything but you.
I can feel the pain in your heart which breaks mine,
as you call out the names of those you love,
But the noise of the life they live,
drowns out your sweet and gentle whisper.

God,
I sense the desire of your heart,
for it is the longing that I feel,
as I see the God-shaped hole in everyone around me.
To reach into their busy lives and show them the way,
to the answers their soul is longing and searching for.

God,
You are calling out to Your church,
saying, "Who will go and be my voice?"
As I stand in Your live and my brokenness,
I respond, "Lord, here I am, I will go.
For Your love for these children
and the silent tears you cry.
Have reached my soul,
and I have made them mine."

You are

2008-09-06T03:06:00.000-07:00

Lord, You are,
Almighty God.
With your Word and Breathe,
You spoke creation into being.
You knew me and had a plan for me,
even before I was a thought in this world.

Lord, You are,
Jehovah, God with us.
You chose to send us Your only Son to dwell among us
and to remind us that You are always present,
even when we can't seem to feel you near.

Lord God, You are,
Savior.
You stretched out Your arms on the cross
as a sign of how much You love us,
taking upon yourself the sins of all humanity.
To save us from ourselves and bring us back to you.

Lord, You are,
Prince of Peace.
You sent us Your Spirit to dwell in us.
To remind us that you are Jehovah and Redeemer.
To work in us so that we may lose ourselves
but gain You, who is for us.

Nerves

2008-09-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

What is this I'm feeling inside?
I've never felt this way before.
The excitement for the road ahead,
is being drowned out by the nervousness,
of the step I must take,
and the fear of the implications,
of this path for me.
Emotions swirl between wanting to leap forward
and to dive back into the safety,
of my emotional fortress.
God,
I surrender these emotions to you.
Grant me peace in the step I choose to take,
to follow the call of your voice.
May my heart's desire to follow after You,
conquer the emotions, swirling in my head.

Why?

2008-08-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

Why is it Lord God,
That we spend so much time,
trying to find our identity,
when you call us to lose it
and to be identified with you?

Why is it Lord God,
That we get so wrapped up,
in doing what you have called us to do,
that we lose sight of the One,
who is doing the calling?

Why is it Lord God,
That we shift our focus
to the people to serve around us,
when You reached out to us,
to be with You?

God,
Help me to lose the self,
that I have spent all this time gaining.
Help me Lord, to surrender,
all I am and will become to You.
Help me Lord, to remember,
That You called me to dwell in You before service.
For my heart yearns to walk,
hand in hand with my Lord and Savior,
The rest of my days.

Granted

2008-08-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when you first met,
the savior of your heat and soul?
The loved that filled you to the brim,
The peace that eased your pain,
The joy you just couldn't contain,
Do you remember them like it was yesterday?

Oh Lord,
How easy it is to forget,
All that you have done for me.
You took me from my darkened pit,
and showered me with Your love.
Your presence as you walk with me,
has given my life meaning.
Yet, with countless blessings given me,
I lose sight that they are gifts
and begin taking them for granted.
Then my heart fills with frustration
cause they're not what I wanted.
The joy of your blessings
get lost in the sin in my heart.

God,
bring me back to the days of old,
When I first danced with Joy for you.
Help me to remember what it was like,
to be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving.

Change my heart O God,
So that all the things that I have taken for granted,
All the blessings you have freely given,
can be returned to you with a thankful heart.

追って来た　(Chased after)

2008-08-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

神よ、　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
もう先の道が見えない。
今まであなたを追って来たのに
今は一歩も進めない。
あなたの声が聞こえるのに、
未知の未来が怖いから、
前の暗闇に心はためらわされる。
イエスの供にいたい心が叫び、
『体よ、動け、前に進むしかない。』
神よ、
あなたの声に答えられる勇気をください。
あなたが示す道進める力をください。
恐れを乗り越え、一歩前歩けるよう助けてください。
だって、心が暗闇に飛び込んで
必死にあなたを追いたかってる。
神よ、
私を変えてください。
あなたと供に歩みたいこの心の願いが叶うように
AMEN

Oh God,
I can't see the road ahead.
Even though I've chased after you this far,
I can't take another step.
Even though I can hear your voice,
The fear of an unknown future,
Makes my heart falter at the darkness before me.
The heart that longs to be with Jesus screams,
"Body, move, the only way to go is forward."
Oh God,
Give me the courage to respond to your voice.
Give me the strength to follow the path you have revealed to me.
Help me to overcome my fear and take a step forward.
For my heart is wanting to dive into the darkness,
and desperately chase after you.
Oh God,
Please change me,
So that the desire of my heart to walk with you
can come true.
AMEN

道で会っても　(If we meet on the street)

2008-08-29T05:51:00.000-07:00

道で会っても私を見えますか？
偽の笑顔にだまされなく
私がかぶってる仮面を見ぬいて
泣けない涙を拭いてくれる

道で会っても私を聞こえますか？
私が言ってる言葉の裏にある、
絶対言葉で言えない、
苦しんでる心の叫び。

道で会っても私に気付いてくれますか？
表の私が本物じゃなくて
無条件の愛を求めるのに
愛されるのが怖い私。

If we met on the street, Could you see me?
Would you not be fooled by my fake smile,
And see past the mask that I wear,
and wipe away the tears I cannot cry.

If we met on the street, Could you hear me?
Could you look beneath the words that I say,
For the words I absolutely can't say,
and hear the cries of a heart in pain.

If we met on the street, Would you realize?
The person on the surface is not the real me,
which is searching for unconditional love,
but is scared of being loved.