The Story So Far

Renner's Room: Ready for Changes and also, look at my kid.

2012-02-10T09:35:00.004-06:00

Well, this post has taken me way longer than intended to post. I wanted it to be ready last Saturday, or Monday at the latest. But let me just tell you... if your husband has knee surgery and you have an 11 week old baby going through a growth spurt, just... don't. Holy mother, I may never recover. My Friday through whatever today is went like this: husband needs to water and reminder to take meds, baby needs the boob AGAIN, dog needs outside. Dog needs treat, husband is hungry, baby needs the boob AGAIN. Baby needs a diaper change, dog needs food, husband needs more ice/to go to the bathroom/to shower/to put pants on. Put this on repeat. Matter of fact, I'm still awake at 1:15 in the morning working on this post because husband home with bum knee = I haven't used the laptop in so long I forgot how to use it.

Luckily, J has recovered nicely (although he's pushing what the doctor's rules were) and Renner has traded the growth spurt and constant eating for refusing to nap. My sweet little great nap taker wants to be awake... because alas! he has feet!!! While hands were the bomb, his right foot is like an elusive creature that refuses to get.in.his.mouth.now. Now all the pictures I take look like this:

And despite the serious hand sucking he's doing in this video, that high kicking right leg says again - get.in.my.mouth.now. It doesn't get much cuter (okay, maybe a little cuter if a nap was involved):

Despite all the cuteness up in here, I'm hoping to recover a little with some serious girl & Renner time this weekend. Depending on the weather, my mom, sis, Renner and I are either going to an antiques fair or watching movies at mi madres. Either plan is fine by me as long as it involves little responsibility (besides Ren, natch) and getting out of the house. But let's get down to the bidness of changing Renner's room.

I've revealed the room. Told you the process. Showed you the little details. Now, I'm excited to share what I'm ready to change... already. I really like his room as it is. But I'd really like to LOVE his room. I believe design truly is a work in progress, so his room now is like the base coat. Now it needs some polish. There are a few things that need to happen regardless. These are the things that are still to be done to make the room more 'finished', even if I make no other changes to the room. The more I think about his room, I see three options: change a little, change a lot, change everything.

Needs to happen
* Buy a rug
* Change up the curtains
* Remove the closet doors and hang curtains
* Make a longer crib skirt

Change a little
I've shared my love of stripes before, and I'm really not sure how Renner's room was gone without any. In this change a little plan, the main thing is that the grey walls stay but get wide white stripes on the crib wall and dresser wall. Like this inspiration pic:

Source: vintagerevivals.blogspot.com via Meg on Pinterest

Artwork would only receive minor tweaks, but I would add a rug and change the curtains and linens away from brown and stay true to the grey/white/red/blue scheme.

Source: potterybarnkids.com via Meg on Pinterest

Change a lot
The current grey bothers me and unless something changes like the stripes in change a little, I need to re-paint. In change a lot, the inspiration is this:

Source: serenaandlily.com via Meg on Pinterest

And this:

Source: dashboard.bloglines.com via Meg on Pinterest

What does this mean? Wall color changes. Art changes. Linens, curtains change. An accent wall is still needed. That super cute stripe blanket needs to be made.

Paint color I'm considering:

Source: modernsauce.blogspot.com via Meg on Pinterest

The brown curtains could stay, but I think a woven shade like the inspo pic would break up the heavy brown.... or maybe I don't make the striped blanket, but instead make striped drapes:

Source: reckless-glamour.com via Meg on Pinterest

Rugs could go one of three ways as I see it right now. It would depend on how the wall color looks with the curtain option I choose. I see light, dark, or fun.

Source: target.com via Meg on Pinterest

This rug:

Source: potterybarnkids.com via Meg on Pinterest

but in this color:

Source: potterybarnkids.com via Meg on Pinterest

And the art has to change. While I'd add blue into the bedding, the navy blue and tons o' red needs to be scaled back to add more white. Which means the armoire needs to be painted white (honestly, that needs to be done regardless).

*Okay, the more I look at change a lot, the more it looks like change everything. I think it's just change a lot because the art will generally stay the same, as will the furniture, but wall color and fabrics change.

Change everything
Pretty sure my husband will think I'm crazy. I don't even know for sure what direction I'd go in. Maybe woodland? Rustic? Or go totally bananas and fork over the cash ($590!!!!!) for this dog set at Posh Tots and go theme cray-cray (won't.ever.happen):

Source: poshtots.com via Meg on Pinterest

Here are other rooms swirling around my ~~Pinterest~~ head for possible complete nursery room makeover.

Source: designsponge.com via Meg on Pinterest

Source: s28.photobucket.com via Meg on Pinterest

Source: jacmariebishop.blogspot.com via Meg on Pinterest

Source: hautemamasfaves.tumblr.com via Meg on Pinterest

So, what say you? I think we can all agree the room needs something more but what? I'd love to hear your thoughts on which route I should take. I'm leaning towards change a lot with some influence from the change everything inspiration pics. So tell me! Also, if you've got other ideas for me, I want to know. Like now, m'kay?

P.S. I need an official blog design... and I want someone else to do it. I'm taking recommendations on your fave blog designers and suggestions for that realm as well. Stuff's about to get real up in here.

Renner's Room: The Little Details

2012-02-02T09:35:00.009-06:00

We got this story started by revealing the room and starting from the beginning of the planning process. I left off loading in the three biggest pieces of furniture and deciding on a layout. Now, the fun stuff: all the details.

Walking into Renner's room is a collection of crosses we were given by (clockwise from top right) J's mom, my great aunt and uncle, and my bff Krystal.

I chose this bible verse for Renner and then found this on Pinterest:

Source: etsy.com via Meg on Pinterest

And used it as the template for my own hand painted canvas.

I made the bunting before I even had the walls painted. The 'RAD' frame came from Habitat for Humanity ReStore for $3!!! and the letters came from Hobby Lobby. J sprayed the frame and I painted the letters.

These are supposed to be floating shelves. Alas, you see the brackets, making them not floating shelves. I can't even describe to you the wall damage that exists behind the strategically placed props. My husband, while he can sand and paint anything (like these shelves, they were white) apparently cannot hang floating shelves to save his life.

(Holy crap I need to learn to take better pictures.) The large R came from a fall crafts show and was only $21. You can also see the way too short crib skirt from Target via eBay, the baseball quilt made by my cousin/friend's dad, and the afghan crochet (knit? idk) by my grandma.

I cut the burlap tablecloth from burlap off our old headboard. J sprayed this previously white (it was mauve and gold before I sprayed it white) lamp base in the same navy blue as the not floating shelves. The dog with the beady eyes holds the balloons proud dad J bought the day we had Renner.

On Renner's dresser is a collection of some of my fave baby shower gifts. The lion is a Scentsy Buddy and makes his room smells the way you imagine babies should smell... sweet baby smell. The piggy bank was made by Renner's godmom and I couldn't love it any more.

The Peanuts print is from my mom. My mom's sister (my Aunt Debbie) passed away when my mom was 8 months pregnant with me from cancer. We always see little signs from her, just to remind us she's watching. So my mom was shopping at Hallmark the week before my shower and walked down an aisle and just happened upon this print. It just caught her eye. See, Debbie loved Peanuts and Snoopy. The print says "Life is what you make it". I love getting to think of my mom and my Aunt Debbie every time I see it.

My wee little gallery wall. I love it and want to make it bigger. Clockwise, starting from the red frame far left:
*Red frame - painted red by J, holds my favorite pic of J and I from our wedding
*Alphabet - made by me with felt letterman jacket style scrapbook stickers
*Spotted dog - picked up the dog at Michael's, removed the glass and glued on blue scrapbook paper
*Black circle - wood circle from HobLob, painted black to mimic chalkboard, I wrote in Renner's birth stats
*Lower case 'r' - cut the 'r' from paper and foam to make it pop
*AllStar - painted basic wood frame blue, AllStar sticker from friend's scrapbook store (still needs a pic!)
*2011 & baseball - both scrapbook elements, placed on burlap and scrapbook paper
*9 - purchased from Pottery Barn as a gift for J one year
*Striped dog - tutorial coming soon!
I worked really hard assembling this set and did I mentioned I love it?

I do have a few tutorials planned on some of the elements... and I'm itching to share the changes I'm ready to make. It's amazing what changes when you actually start living in a room!

Renner's Room: The Beginning

2012-01-30T09:00:00.013-06:00

I started the room only knowing I didn't want a "theme". I didn't want to go to Babies R Us and buy a bag of linens complete with valance and mobile (not that there's anything wrong with that!). Now I will admit, I found some hella cute theme sets, but conveniently, everything was WAY out of my price range. I learned I don't belong on any website called Posh Tots... Instead, I decided to choose colors and a few elements that HAD to be included. That early list looked like this:
*Brown/red/cream
*Burlap
*Bunting
*Gallery wall
*Red dresser

Source: hgtv.com via Meghan on Pinterest

Really, that red dresser was número uno on the list. After seeing this painted dresser in that room, I knew I needed an unexpected dose of color on a piece of furniture.

A few weeks passed and all we'd done was fill the room with furniture I expected to use and install the closet system (the same system from my dressing room two houses ago). It was a sign to get busy when my mom and I found a crib at a neighbor's garage sale in the color I wanted for just $60. Mom made the purchase and a short while later, Justin was pushing the fully assembled crib down the street to our house.

I hung a few Martha Stewart at Home Depot paint chips on the wall, wanting to go greig-y (you know... beige and grey, though this pic is not greigy at all). I made sure to view the chips in all the different light from the south facing window, because I tend to pick colors that lean yellowish and didn't want that for this room. I finally made a selection and off to Lowe's we went.

At Lowe's, I lost my mind and instead of color matching the chip I'd chosen, I started looking at other colors. I started thinking true grey would be the way to go. Make it more modern and trendy, because grey is everywhere right now. The sweet older woman employee that decided to help me couldn't hide her dislike for the color I chose. She wanted to push me towards pastels... I could feel it.

This same week, I went to Michael's to buy supplies for the closet dividers I would make (tutorial coming soon!) and found a paper stack named appropriately "All About Boys" (the baseball paper used above wasn't part of that stack). It had all the colors I wanted, but included more shades of blue than I planned to use, but I loved the patterns! I knew it would be perfect for all the paper projects I had planned. And since it was on sale, I knew it was meant to be.

We had to completely dismantle the crib to get it in the room (god love my hubs), I painted the following weekend, and made the bunting that you see in the photo above and hung it probably before the paint was even dry (or the touch-up painting was done- but whatever). My brown/red/cream room was suddenly grey/red/blue/white, but I liked it. J was under instructions to find a 6 drawer dresser, preferably a tall one with legs so it would feel less heavy and be the perfect height to double as a changing table. He was very excited when he found something at an auction-owning friends house...

A computer armoire. A particle board computer armoire (that was not red when he brought it home). I was not happy. How was this supposed to work? It had one shelf and would never work with a changing pad... But I told him to paint it anyway (I believe this was in the 'OMG baby could come any day' stage that hit 6-8 weeks before arrival). What happened was a travesty... There were rollers and quarts of paint when it should've been sprayed. And after the $20 armoire (gasp) had over $30 in paint on it, I knew I had to use it somehow, someway.

The very next weekend, at the same auction-owning friend's house, J bought a 6 drawer dresser that fit all the requirements, except it was quite petite (not tall enough) and not leggy. But it was only $15 and solid wood. THIS time the hubs avoided a master brain fart and sprayed the piece after sanding it and removing the laminate top.

I decided I could use both pieces, the dresser for his clothes (no the closet isn't enough) and the armoire for bath stuff/diapers/wipes/etc (no room in the closet for this stuff either). We brought everything in and it started out opposite what it is today with the dresser on the now crib wall and both the crib and armoire on the other wall. My thinking was that I wanted the focus on the pretties: my red dresser and planned gallery wall. Until I realized you couldn't walk in the room with the crib as close to the door as it had to be. So we switched it, and I unhappily had to settle for both red pieces living on one wall.

Oooh... next is the really fun stuff. Making all the things I'd been ~~pinning~~ daydreaming of for weeks! It's hard to believe I was working on his room up until the week he was due... I ended up going to 41 weeks so I still had time, I guess. In the moment though I felt insane for waiting so long. I am glad it was finished before he came home, even if we aren't using the space completely yet. And besides, if his room wasn't already "finished", how would I know what changes I'm already ready to make?

Have you ever changed paint colors at the last second? Has your significant other ever taken liberties with something and driven you crazy but it turned out okay in the end?

Monday Monday MONDAY!!!!!

2012-01-23T10:03:00.002-06:00

Good Monday morning to you!

I've got so much to do today it's kinda ridiculous. My bff Krystal's baby shower is tonight and I'm in charge of decorations... which I just started last night. I also decided after grocery shopping Friday afternoon that I needed to re-organize our pantry. So everything pantry related is sitting on the counter tops... since Friday afternoon. There's also a load of dishes already going in the dishwasher and enough for another load waiting in the sink AND I only did 2 of 6 loads of laundry this weekend. So, yeah. MONDAY! But more importantly, what the heck did I do all weekend???

Friday's shopping trip was a sad one when I broke down and purchased.... decaf coffee. That means the drink you see above IS delicious coffee with Creme Brulee creamer BUT it has no go-go-power magic in it. *Sigh* I just love coffee and my kid that much. Renner has a sensitive stomach when it comes to caffeine. Weirdo. I'm back on the Dub-Dub, too (Weight Watchers in my dumb slang). Today's breakfast clocks in at 10 points: wheat english muffin, full fat peanut butter, banana, coffee, full fat creamer. I would normally use low-fat or fat-free creamer and peanut butter, but I get a TON of points for breastfeeding, so breakfast can be 10 points and not leave me starving with no points for dinner.

On Saturday, I shared Renner's room reveal. I'm pretty proud of it. If you happened to not see it, you can go here to check it out. Let me know what you think! I'll share details of the room later this week. This busy day just means that I've got plenty of posts coming up about the decorations I'm making, the pantry re-organization on a budget.

I hope you have a great Monday! The Bachelor is on tonight, so how could it not be great???

Renner's Room Reveal

2012-01-23T07:00:00.000-06:00

gratuitous baby photo

This room is proof I can finish design-related things in my own home. Sure... there are a few things I'd already like to change, but in my opinion, it's best for a room to evolve as time moves on. But I love this room. Baby Renner doesn't sleep in his room yet, but I know when he does he'll love it as much as I do. But anyway.... on to the reveal!

So? What do you think? Like I said, there are so. many. things. I'm ready to change/tweak/add/remove already but the finished product turned out pretty great. There are lots of little details I can't wait to share and the room has already changed since these pictures were taken. Christmas happened, so his room looks much more lived in now. (One of his gifts was the mobile that only appears in one of the photos.) Next up are sharing those little details, including all the DIY that was involved.

Have a happy weekend!

Renner - 2 Months Old

2012-01-20T05:49:00.000-06:00

Renner

2 Months Old

1/18/12

Each month I will take a photo of Renner on our couch and in his dad's recliner.

Renner - 1 Month Old (12/18/11)

2012-01-13T20:20:00.005-06:00

*Already playing catch up!*

Renner

1 Month Old

12/18/11

8 lb. 10 oz.

21 1/4 inches

(at 2 week check up)

Each month I will take a photo of Renner on our couch and in his dad's recliner.

Thoughts for your Thursday

2012-01-12T17:30:00.005-06:00

* We got our first snow of the season last night. I think we just have an inch or so. I wanted to take Renner outside for a picture in his first snow, but it's too stinking cold. I'm not going out there.

* I linked up to The Shabby Creek Cottage's Transformation Thursday with the re-vamp I did of our cedar dresser. Go check out the other blogs that linked up... there are some great projects.

* Yesterday, I posted my 2012 Home Goals over at Nesting Place. There are so many great submissions. I can't wait to see how every one's goals take shape over the year.

* I am thisclose to having the posts about Renner's room done. I can't wait to share his little nook... that he doesn't use except as clothes storage. But someday he'll really love it! (I hope.) I shared a little sneak peek in my 2012 Home Goals post in case you missed it.

* I have to cook dinner in a few minutes (quesadillas and salad) and I'm super wishing I was heading into this kitchen:

Source: desiretoinspire.net via Meghan on Pinterest

And not this kitchen:

Happy Thursday!

Home Goals 2012

2012-01-11T08:35:00.002-06:00

I love a good to-do list. My favorite kind of to-do list is one where I actually mark things as finished. This is a comprehensive full house list and I plan to work each space as 2012 goes on. If we owned this house, this list would be even bigger. Instead, the changes are ones that can go with us when we do buy our own house (in approx 18 months) or are cheap fixes, like painting.

I like knowing that we will be in this house for another 18 months at least. In rentals we've lived in before, I was afraid to make a big list of things is like to do because I never knew when we'd find another place that suited us better. It seemed silly to put time into a place that we weren't going to stay in for more than a year. Knowing that our next move is a home purchase, we won't be going anywhere until that happens.

I'm also using 2012 as a way to grow my design skills, whether that be through school or just learning by trial and error independently. What greater place to test your ideas than in your own home? At least this way, if the client is unhappy you don't have to worry about it affecting a paycheck!

I shared the house tour a few weeks ago, showing each room as it is empty. I had every intention of showing the rooms as they look now but A) all my photos didn't transfer from a memory card I already deleted and B) Blogger won't let me upload pictures from my pc right now so I'm being forced to use pictures already on the blog and C) It's 2:33 am and I can't think of any other solution. However, I haven't made any real changes to any room other than Renner's. (Yay! I was able to get a preview pic of Renner's room uploaded!)

On to the list!!

Living Room

New back door with dog door
Paint (walls, fireplace, trim)
Curtains
Furniture placement
     New couch
     New tv and console
     Thrift or Craigslist side tables
Furniture updates
     Modernize china cabinet
     Bookcase update
Art, including picture gallery wall

Kitchen & Dining Room

Paint (walls and trim)
Remove weird chair rail
Curtains
Light fixtures
Update chandelier with drum shade
Pendant light conversion for above sink
Pantry organization
Furniture updates
Thrift or Craigslist dining table
Thrift or Craigslist chairs or update current chairs
Art, including decor on countertops

Hall Bathroom

I don't have a single decent picture of this room. It could be finished, except needing another piece of art and a rug. I could paint, but considering all the other things to-do... I will get a few good shots of the room and share it later.

Master Bedroom

Paint (walls, trim and doors)

Curtains
Bedding
Furniture placement
Furniture
     Thrift, Craigslist or repair current dressers
     Thrift, Craigslist or update night stands
     Update bookcase (IF it stays)
Art, including jewelry display

Master Bathroom

Paint (walls and trim)
Rugs
Art
New shower curtain?
Organize linen closet (in hall)

My Workroom

Paint (walls and trim)
Furniture placement
Organize, organize, organize!
New storage
Peg boards
Art

Renner's Room

Wall treatment (stars or stripes?)
Add to frame gallery
DIY longer crib skirt
Update curtains
Rug

Outdoor Spaces

Front
Spring plantings
Front door & porch decor

Back
Spring plantings (maybe a garden?)
Furniture on deck
Stepping stones to storage shed
Clean up around storage shed
Add lighting

Laundry Room

Paint - only if bored. This space is in the garage.
Storage and organization

Whew! That is a doozy of a to-do list if I might say so. But it's so exciting! Soon, I'll share my inspiration room-by-room. I'm doing all of this on a budget of very little, so rooms won't come together all at once. And really, jumping room to room suits my design ADD personality.

What do you think? Is this list too much? Or are the paint colors alone making you as sick as they make me? I can't wait to share my inspo photos and preliminary plans for each room. Also be on the watch for a full post (or two) on Renner's room next week!

Well Hello, 2012!

2012-01-03T16:40:00.001-06:00

My goodness. Normally I'm all sad-faced over having to take down my Christmas decorations (J practically has to force me to take it all down) but this time I couldn't wait to put it away. Don't get me wrong, Christmas was wonderful, seeing as how it was our first as a family of three, but it was so time to clear it all out. I think all the additional baby goods filling the place helped this feeling. Things were feeling pretty cluttered.

Christmas marks the end of what I consider the best time of the year. From October to December, my life is filled with birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, basketball season, football season, my favorite season of all - fall, and then New Years arrives and it's all over. I look up from all the hustle and bustle and suddenly it's winter (which I don't hate), we start a new year and look back at just how quickly it seemed this past year went. 2011 was a big year around these parts, and it flew. We weathered our first married year, we moved (which shouldn't be an event considering how much we do it!), I was pregnant almost all year and then gave birth to the coolest little guy in the world. What a year!

I think because of how much happened in 2011 and the obvious game changer that arrived in November, I. am. so. excited for 2012. I can't wait to see where 2012 takes me, because this is the year I quit being afraid and figure out what I want to do. It's amazing how having a child has almost turned me inward, to discover what will make me the best me possible, which will in turn make me the best mom and wife (and sister and daughter and friend) possible.

I saw this quote on Nester's site this morning and it's like it hit me over the head... this is my mantra for 2012:

Uh, hello 2012. Thanks for slapping me in the face. I'm such a sissy when it comes to my own life. I *think* I don't know what I want as a career, I *think* I can't be creative, I *think* I'm a terrible writer, I *think* I can't have a healthy body, I *think* I can't be successful. I can be everyones biggest cheerleader and I *think* I try to help others go in the direction they desire but I've never been that for myself.

I'm not using 'resolutions' this year, as I've too often broken those. Instead, I'm going to focus on my 'goals' for 2012:
* Be healthy. Not so much about a number on the scale. Drink more water, eat healthy, get some exercise.
* Write. On this blog, in a journal, in Renner's baby book. Just write.
* Be crafty. I plan to start a small business this year, and being crafty is what it's all about.
* Focus on our finances. We made the mistake of finding a house we loved and could've afforded, even though I knew we weren't in a place to buy a house. We're fixing that so "the" house doesn't get by us again.
* Get with God. I miss the close relationship I've had with God off and on over the years. I want it back, and I want my son to see it in me.

Jumping from God to horoscopes, I'm not a believer in horoscopes... I think they're fun to read, but I could be vague enough about your life and make you think I can really predict something. A friend posted on Facebook that she hopes her year turns out to be as exciting as Yahoo's 2012 horoscope predicted. So I looked mine up and I was excited to see apparently the stars already knew what I was thinking. I'm ready to make decisions in what I'm doing with myself and others are willing to help or invest. I have every material and emotional resource I could ever need. This year is about shedding the past and all about transformation. Well, duh!

Did you make any GOALS for this year? Or do you forget the whole thing and just keep doing what you're doing? 2012 is going to be great, folks. I hope you have the same excitement about it that I do.

Shhhhhhh.....

2011-12-22T11:55:00.001-06:00

I'm writing this post at 4:30 am with a sleeping babe in my lap and a sleeping dog at my side. I've been doing a pretty good job of sleeping when the baby sleeps at night, but I needed to write on this dang blog or else. I've always wondered how much to share on this blog of my personal life, and have gone back and forth between telling you everything and literally saying nothing. In 2012 I may not share all the dirty details, but I am dedicating myself to being a real blogger because it's something I truly want. And honestly, since I'm now a stay at home mom, I can see myself needing the outlet!

I have a monster list of posts to write, including a list of special series to start or bring back (like Sunday Spotlights and Picture of the Week). J and I celebrated our one year anniversary Sunday and I could kick myself over the fact that I haven't even shared the wedding I was so proud of yet. There's a birth story to share (which is easier said than done) and a reveal of Mr. Renner's room. I also just shared with you that we moved (again) and we've already completed some things around the house, but there are so many more things to do. I want to share all of it.

Christmas is in just a few days and while the decorations have been up since Halloween, I didn't do as much as I'd hoped or even decorated as much as I normally do. I had a list of projects I wanted to complete (including some handmade Christmas gifts) that simply didn't get done. My sister thinks I could totally include IOU's in Renner's birth announcement and people would understand. In fact, I did so little for Christmas, I can include three pics in this post that sum up all the decorating I did (you'll also understand why I didn't join any holiday house tour blog parties!).

I hadn't even put a tree skirt down.

I took this at night while holding the babe just to say I have a pic of our first Christmas mantel.

The only reason the outside of our house is done? One word: HUSBAND.

I hope you've only done as much as you wanted to for the holidays and that you're not kicking yourself if something didn't get done. Today we're taking our 5 week old to visit Santa and hopefully do our Christmas shopping. I've never waited this long to start - and finish - my shopping. Wish us luck!

He's Here.

2011-12-09T10:26:00.000-06:00

I've often used the phrase "game changer" before when referring to a life altering event... new job, new relationship, moving on from a relationship, a move, etc. But on November 16, 2011 I got the biggest game changer of all.

Renner Douglas

8 lbs. 11 oz. 21 inches

11/16/11 12:01 pm

And I really hate to rub it in or sound like that mom, but seriously... he's the greatest. Ever.

I'll be back soon with lots of posts. xoxo

40 Weeks: Overdue

2011-11-11T12:58:00.000-06:00

This sweet little baby was due on Thursday the 10th. It's now the 11th, so I guess I get to say he's overdue. My mom pointed out that I've never been early to anything before in my life, so why would my son be? Excellent point. My doctor doesn't let his patients go over 41 weeks, which I would be next Thursday, so he's scheduled an induction for Wednesday the 16th. I feel like we'll be waiting til then. I may totally be wrong. I may wake up tomorrow and have a baby on the way, but I'm doubting it. I have my reasons though.

We know when this dear child was conceived, no ifs, ands or buts. 40 weeks is actually November 19th. Our due date became November 10th at our first ultrasound, and if you'll remember all the craziness that happened with our due dates, we actually had a second ultrasound that said our due date was November 14th. The ultrasound tech said that the due date is really plus or minus 10 days when done via ultrasound, so we stuck with the November 10th due date. Confused? We were too.

Anyway, this baby will be here by November 16th. I mean, hopefully I'm induced and he comes on the same day. That's a lot of labor if he waits til the 17th. I was so excited when I left the doctor to have an end date in sight... until I got on the phone with my mom and it hit me. I will have a baby in one week or less. I guess before it was like, yeah, he's due, he could be here anytime... now it's, he will be here. PERIOD. I am so excited. And so scared.

I'm only slightly scared of the actual labor but more scared for the after. Scared about how uncomfortable I'll be, scared that I won't know how to make this baby happy, scared he will already hate me, scared I won't be able to breastfeed... scared. This is normal, my friends say, which is comforting. I cannot wait to see his sweet little face. I can't wait to snuggle him close and see my husband holding him. I'm trying not to cry on my keyboard.

His room is almost finished. I still need a rug and to hang a few things that I'm waiting for the paint to dry on, but it's ready. Not that I plan on having him in the room much to start with... we'll be camped out in the living room with the pack n' play for awhile. I have pictures, but our laptop screen died and we're waiting for everything to be transferred to a new computer, which we obviously don't have back yet. Luckily we borrowed my mom's laptop, so I can keep up with my nasty Pinterest addiction.

Speaking of Pinterest, it gave me the bright idea to do some freezer cooking so we'd have actual meals to eat after the little guy shows up. We've been living off take out the last three weeks because I've been so dang tired when I get off work. It'll be nice to have something to pop in the oven and not to mention, much cheaper since my paycheck has officially gone bye-bye. At the beginning of this week, I was going to start working half days but once I got the news Wednesday that we had one week left, my mom formally "fired" me, relieving me of the stress of work, plus getting ready for this baby. It's been really nice to have the last few days to get things done that really needed to be done at home.

As far as end of pregnancy stuff goes, I still have the rash. It seemed to get a little better for a few days, but now it's back to itching like crazy. I can't sleep very well. I've been staying up with the hubs til midnight, then going to bed and tossing and turning. I seem to sleep really well from 5 am to 8 am... another reason not going to work has been awesome. I've run out of room for the kiddo and he's dropped, so sometimes his shifting around hurts. I've noticed more Braxton-Hicks contractions and haven't made any progress as far as dilation and effacement in three weeks of checking at the doctor.

We are so excited to meet this little guy, as I know all my friends and family are, too. Come on out, buddy!

P.S. Seriously once I get our laptop back, I'll have so much to share. Seriously.

37 Weeks: The Final Countdown

2011-10-24T09:35:00.001-05:00

Less than three weeks. I keep trying to let that time frame sink in, trying to realize that in three weeks (or less) my life will change even more than it already has. Three girls I know had their babies last week and I knew a few months ago that as soon as they had theirs, it was really getting close. I went to the doctor this Wednesday and he told me that I was officially full term and if labor starts, they won't do anything to stop it. I feel these Braxton-Hicks contractions and I wonder just how bad the real ones will hurt. I wonder when my water will break, or when the first contraction will hit, or if I'll be induced.

I had two baby showers last week, one that my sister hosted and another that my mother-in-law hosted. We went from having a few baby things, mostly clothes, to a ton of baby things and even more clothes. J finished the dresser and armoire for the nursery last week and I've been on laundry duty for the last two weeks. Seriously, we won't need clothes or blankets for his first year. Speaking of blankets... I've always had a thing for blankets. The patterns, textures, I love them all. So just imagine with a giant stack of flannel receiving blankets and another stack of thermal and fluffy blankets, I'm just picturing snuggling my sweet little boy in a different blanket every hour.

I finally posted a prego pic of myself to Facebook and everyone was so nice to my fat pregnant a$$. I totally swore I wasn't going to post any pic of myself prego on FB because there are other people who post the weekly photo, the ultrasound pic, the toilet pic of their mucous plug... okay maybe I haven't actually seen anyone do that last one, but you get the idea. Over sharing, much? The first pic I posted was blurry because J insists on zooming with the iPhone, which looks like crap, so I posted a mirror pic. Yes... I posted a mirror pic. I did all the things I hate on FB in one afternoon.

Seriously - Daisy got off the couch to pose for this pic. Ridiculous.

33 weeks. Feels like just yesterday... and it was a month ago.

This week I also celebrated my 27th birthday. It's amazing to me how different it was already from years in the past. I worked in the morning, we had to go to a funeral for J's uncle, we had a late lunch (Mexican) and went to Babies R Us where I gifted myself a diaper bag and a grooming kit for the baby. My mom, dad and sis got me a Shark steam mop. No drinks, no dinner out with friends... but it was a good day. I was shocked that I actually forgot my birthday was coming several times... I guess my mind is (understandably) elsewhere.

I'm not even going to comment on weight gain any more because I just don't care. I'm close enough to having this baby that it doesn't matter to me. I know I'm in the same old rut with the food cravings: corn dogs, Dr Pepper, Mexican food, pizza. I do want sweets, but I'd much rather have chips and salsa. My blood pressure has been great, the boy's heart rate is so fun to hear still and the swelling in my ankles is.... gross. I actually showed J one day and said, "Look at my ankles." He responded (accurately) with, "What ankles?"

I've also gotten the PUPPPs rash in the last two weeks and it just keeps getting worse. This rash develops only in pregnant women, mostly in the last few weeks of pregnancy. 70% of women that get it are having boys and it mostly effects first time pregnancies. I know it's spreading and it itches so bad my skin hurts. The only cure is to have the baby... some women are induced because the rash gets so bad. All I know is that I can deal, but this rash better disappear that first week after I have the baby or I will hurt someone. I'm only partially kidding.

People keep telling me I've dropped since they saw me last and I totally believe it. The little heartburn I did have is even less and I'm not AS out of breath as I was. My doc says he'll check me next week for the first time to see if I'm making any progress, which I know isn't really a judge of when the baby will come but I'd still like to know.

36 weeks

Yet Another New House Tour!

2011-10-22T15:03:00.000-05:00

Yes, another new house for our family. I've discussed my moving in several posts (apartment 2009, bungalow 2009 & partial bungalow tour, the generic house 2010 & partial generic house tour) and here we did it again. I think one of the pros of renting is that you can move when you want to. We made this move to get us closer to our jobs and a more central location for both of our families. As of tomorrow, we've lived here for two months and have already made a few changes. But before I tell you about those changes (including the nursery!) I should introduce you to it as it looked when we moved in.

This house is a three bed, two bath, two car garage, privacy fenced backyard with storage shed and huge deck. It has a fireplace (which was really important to me - I wanted a mantel to hang my boy's stocking from for his first Christmas), partial hardwood floors, and a landlord willing to let us do what we want to be comfortable. This house felt more like home from the first box being moved in than the last house ever did.

It does have an odd layout and some strange little quirks. I was going to create a computer-generated floor plan but I can't seem to find the time and I can't put this post off any longer. I then decided I would draw a rough sketch of the floor plan and I even gave up on that because, well, it looked like crap. So, I'll just do my best to describe the floor plan as we walk through the house via photos. Taken with my iPhone. Seriously, this post can't get any more professional, could it??

Here's the entry way - front door and coat closet.

Turning around from the above photo, you see part of our living room. The hallway leads to the bedrooms and bathroom. To the left is our kitchen.

Speaking of the kitchen, here it is. Lots of counter space, a pantry, room for a small table and the door to the garage (that's the open door on the right). As I mentioned above, the kitchen opens directly into the living room.

This is a better shot of how the kitchen opens into the living room.

I stepped back to the hallway to the bedrooms for this picture, showing the single living room window and wood burning fireplace. The ceiling is vaulted and the living room also has new carpet.

Here, I'm standing deeper in the hallway (between the hall bath and master bed doors) to show the door to the back yard on the long wall on the left.

Here's the hall bath, nothing special.

Across the hall from the hall bath is the master bedroom.

The master bathroom is actually two rooms. The part you see immediately is the vanity and on the far right is a large almost floor to ceiling cabinet.

Awkward photo. This is the second room in the master bath, where the toilet and shower is. There was once a door on this room. I've got to find a way to take a picture that shows how small this space is and I have no idea how a door opened into this space.

Back out in the hallway are three other doors. One goes to this bedroom, which is my ~~craft~~ crap room (it's full of junk right now).

The second door goes to the boy's room, and the third door is our linen closet.

I love this house's backyard. Walking out the back door is a covered patio with ceiling fan. You can see the storage shed and the start of the deck.

And the rest of the deck and back yard. There are two good trees in the back yard and we've got plans for the built-in benches next spring.

Not pictured? The front of the house, the garage (which is the only well-organized room in the place, because it's the man room), and the laundry room, which is in the garage.

You may have also noticed this is like the amazing technicolor dream coat of houses. Even the garage is painted! Mint green, weird yellow, mauve-ish red, hunter and leafy green, pale blue, pale purple-pink, and brown-black. So far, I've only painted baby's room but we have paint for the kitchen and some sort of plan for the other rooms.

Since I've finally introduced this new house, I can show you what we've already done and what my plans are. Oh! And the nursery! Even though this baby is due in three weeks and *gasp!* his room still isn't finished, I can't wait to share it.

Who I'm Supposed to Be

2011-10-22T14:52:00.000-05:00

Is anyone watching Oprah's Lifeclass? I set up the DVR to record it and after watching the first episode I knew I needed this. After watching a few episodes, I've got so many things I want to remember.

There is this feeling inside me of not knowing who I am supposed to be. It may be because I'm about to take on another label anytime... that of 'Mom', that I'm looking around and inside to find out who I am. I read most of 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle and I know that I am more than what I've been labeled - daughter, wife, and soon, mother and that those labels hold you back from your true self. I love being those things, but I feel like I am meant to be more than those words.

The problem is that I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'll be doing in 5 years other than being those three things (daughter, wife, mother). Most of my problem I think resides in the idea that I don't know what my career path is. Still, after 27 years, I don't know what job I'm meant to do. I don't know what my calling is, so I've used that as an excuse to not do anything. In high school, I wanted to be an interior designer because I loved HGTV and loved moving furniture around and buying accessories, but in my area, that's not a career that seemed to be steady, or one at which I'd make a lot of money (since success is often weighed in how much you make), so I abandoned it. When we took our pre-ACT, I asked my two friends what they were putting for career field and I answered what they did - broadcast journalism - because I had no ideas. I decided I'd do broadcast journalism full force, until college came and even that didn't sound interesting. I struggled through college because there were too many options to choose from and none of them really sounded like 'my thing'. All my friends had majors and had a 'thing' and that's what they have degrees in now... and I still have no degree and a major that has changed 6 or 7 times.

Every time I've run into my high school English teacher since graduating, she asks the same questions: What are you up to now? What are you going to school for? Why aren't you writing? She was always a big fan of my writing and often told me I should do something with that... but what, I don't know. I know I'm not interested in writing articles for a newspaper or writing stories for the local news. I know I always liked to write short stories or casual essays, but that doesn't mean I'm going to write a great book or write anything great, for that matter. I never know how to answer her... I don't know WHY I'm not writing. I mean, I have this blog, but I'm inconsistent at best with posting because there seems to be an internal push to have a successful blog and when no one comments on a post I give up. I have also written posts and then panic because maybe I've shared too much of myself. I also can't seem to find a consistent voice when I write, and when I look back on those posts that were shadowed by what blog I was really into, I'm embarassed. Those posts aren't me. So my writing stops and that outlet is gone.

Oprah showed her interview with Jim Carrey and the check he wrote himself for $10 million. He gave himself three years earn that money, and visualized being in that spot in his life where that $10 million was legit. Just before his self-imposed deadline was up, he made $10 million for Dumb and Dumber. Oprah then went on to say that you should write down what you want, visualize yourself doing it, then push it away. You work towards that goal through schooling or making connections, etc. and you'll find yourself where you believed you should be. I can visualize, I can write something down, but I don't know what that something is.

Perhaps another reason why this is weighing on me so heavily is that our plans are for me to be a stay at home mom. I am so excited to spend every day with our son, but I know that a part of me won't be fulfilled with no career objectives or goals. I don't have an interest in being a part of some mommy group or hosting play dates for a living. I need something more. Something that makes me successful and fulfills me. What will I do when I do decide to go back to work? What will I go to school for while I stay at home? Who am I meant to be outside of the labels?

There are things that I like doing: scrapbooking, crafting, thinking about interior design, blogging, cooking, taking photos, shopping, planning. But those things don't add up to who I believe I'm supposed to be. It seems there are no original ideas any more, that I'd simply be regurgitating the same crafts/recipes/designs that have already been done. I don't know that I feel called enough to do these things to fulfill what it is I'm supposed to be doing.

I think the only plan I have going forward right now is to pray about who I'm supposed to be and what it is I'm supposed to do. I know I feel compelled to stay home with my child and I am so excited to that, but I know I'll be looking for more to satisfy ME. Not to satisfy others, or the labels I've created for myself, but to satisfy myself, deep down.

Easiest "Recipe" Recipe

2011-09-18T13:18:00.000-05:00

I call these Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffins/Cakes a "recipe" recipe because it's the easiest darn thing ever. I originally tried this recipe when I was doing Weight Watchers, but it's just so good (and did I mention easy?) I've made it while on WW or not. I'm sharing it today as the Chocolate Chocolate Chip variety, but there's so much you can do with it, just by changing out the cake mix. Anyway... recipe and pictures!

All you need is a box of Devil's Food cake mix, a can of pumpkin, chocolate chips, and water.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, drop cupcake liners in your muffin tin and spray with no-stick spray.

In a large bowl, mix dry cake mix and can of pumpkin. I add at least a 1/4 cup of water to this mixture, because it makes it easier to mix and makes the batter go a little further.

No need to beat the batter to death. It's going to be lumpy. Once combined, add 1/2 cup mini chips (for WW friendly) or 1 cup regular size chips. Or add chocolate chunks... depends on how much gooey chocolate you like.

These cake-muffins don't rise a lot, if any, so I usually aim to fill each cup 3/4 full. This batch made 22 muffins.

Bake at 350 for 8-12 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean-ish. I say clean-ish, because these are gooey muffins by nature, thanks to those chocolate chips.

Here you can see the melty chocolate chips and how rich these little cakes are.

Once cooled, I store these in the fridge for up to a week, if they last that long. They taste great out of the fridge but go over-the-top when put in the microwave for 5-10 seconds.

But my super favorite way to eat them? Watch.

While still warm from the oven, or nuked in micro, crumble one (or two!) cakes in a bowl.

And top with whipped cream. This is diet friendly if you use fat free Cool Whip. The cream closest to the cake melts like warm icing and adds to the gooey goodness. Bonus points if you have fresh sliced strawberries or other berries to add to it. Heck, it doesn't even have to be fresh berries! I've had this for breakfast before (not nuking the muffins) with defrosted frozen mixed berries and fat free Cool Whip for the most decadent diet breakfast EVER.

I mentioned before the cakes can be switched up by changing out the dry cake mix and add ins. You don't even need add ins, really. One of my favorites and perfect for fall is spice cake mix and no add ins. Once the cakes have cooled, sprinkle powdered sugar over the top. I find the spice cakes are best served fresh... with coffee of course.

Enjoy this "recipe" recipe!

He's already a mover and a shaker.

2011-09-17T09:35:00.002-05:00

I felt little 'this isn't gas' flutters since I was about 14 weeks from the wee baby. By 18 weeks the movements were stronger and continued to get stronger as the weeks went by. They started out low and infrequently, now I can practically set a watch by his movements.

When I was 24 weeks, we went to see our friends' daughter perform at cheerleading regionals. J was talking with the girl's dad after they'd performed and baby boy was on the move. I was just standing around watching other teams compete with my hand on my upper stomach and BAM! he kicked hard enough I saw my hand move. He did it again and again. I was shocked! This was the first time I'd noticed that. I waited til his did he two more times before interrupting J's convo and asking for his hand. As soon as I put his hand on my belly.... the kid quit kicking. This was the second or third time he'd done that. He goes crazy town on me, but as soon as I get someone to feel it (mostly his dad) he quits. He's a turd already!

By 26 weeks, when he was moving around (mostly in the afternoons) I could sit back in my chair and watch my stomach ripple with his movements. I tried to catch it on my iPhone video, by naturally, as soon as I press record... he stops. Every time.

Somewhere around 28 weeks, he kicked hard enough it pushed me back from the counter I was standing against at work. It wasn't enough force for anyone else to really notice, but apparently he felt crowded and I definitely noticed. At my last doctor's appointment (30 weeks), they wanted to see how he was positioned and he was head down, butt up by my ribs and back turned. I've since started paying a lot of attention to what feels harder and more full in my belly to see where he's positioned himself.

I also really enjoy feeling his little hiccups and loved being able to explain them to J over the weekend. Baby boy is very active while I eat, especially during dinner. And not too long after I eat sometimes, he'll get the hiccups. Low down, in the same spot, and rhythmic...

On Monday of this week, I was sitting at the computer at work and he was on the move. I felt something a little more painful and well, weird, at the very top of my belly and looked down and there was a large bulge sticking out. I was amazed. I pushed back on what I believe was his little foot and he left his foot pushed out for awhile, and then slowly pulled it away. I could not believe it! I told him he did a good job... now he just needs to show that move to his dad. He moved so much Monday I was sore that night from him karate chopping the same general area all day.

He's already a mover and a shaker... and ornery as can be.

32 Weeks: ZOMG.

2011-09-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

I'm 32 weeks today and the whole idea that this baby will be here sometime in the next 8 weeks is freaking me out. His room isn't done, I haven't had a baby shower yet, I don't have any diapers, I don't have a bag packed, we haven't had our child birth class yet... I got my weekly e-mail giving me the "what's happening with you and baby" low down and panic has absolutely set in. I'm now googling what to pack and have set a goal to have the bag packed this weekend, or at least as best as possible. I think we should also go ahead and install the car seat base, which I'm sure the hubs will love since it will prob go in his car that he drives for work.

I've had a pretty easy pregnancy looking back. Although the 1st trimester sickness sucked terribly, now that it's over it doesn't seem so bad. Up until this past week or two, I've not had indigestion, heartburn, or trouble sleeping. I've had some 'growing' pains, but I've definitely noticed a waddle in my walk now and sleep is fitful at best. We've joked a few times that we should've bought stock in Charmin toilet paper because I've gone through boatloads, thanks to the frequent pee breaks (that are only getting more frequent). Since the pregnancy has been pretty easy, I'm starting to worry now that the labor will be. a. nightmare.

My weight has stalled out for the last two weeks and I think I'm just up 16 lbs. from starting weight. I've forgotten my starting weight without seeing the chart I have on the fridge (go figure). While the baby is gaining anywhere from 1/2 lb. to 1 lb. a week, the fact that my weight hasn't changed in two weeks might be of concern to some, but not to me. The pre-preg pants I'm still wearing (thanks to the Belly Band) are looser in the legs and I KNOW this belly is growing, so I'm pretty sure I'm losing in some places while gaining in others.

Cravings-wise, I've still not had the urge to eat anything super strange or at odd hours. The most pregnant thing I've done was one night last week we were watching tv and suddenly all I could think about was cookies. Specifically oatmeal cookies. So I mentioned this to J, but it was almost 9 o'clock and I tried to put it out of my head... but I couldn't. I felt like Cookie Monster. So after 30 minutes of trying to forget it, I got up and pulled together the ingredients for white chocolate chip oatmeal cookies... and they were amazing.

I go back to the doctor next Wednesday (day before the 33 week mark) and our child birth class is next Saturday. I'm nervous about the class because I think I've mentioned before how we sometimes have a hard time with things we should be taking seriously. I got the postcard reminder in the mail and it said to bring two pillows and a blanket, which made me laugh just thinking of us hee-hee-hooing practice breathing. Should be entertaining, and hopefully we learn something... or least don't get kicked out.

I also guess I should say we have done something in baby's room. I finished the touch-up paint last Saturday and Friday night I made this bunting to hang. That of course is his crib, and the colors are a little off because I took the pic with Instagram. The walls are more grey the beige, the crib is espresso and not black and the bunting is brown, red, cream and blue.

My goals for this weekend are to garage sale and find a dresser to have J paint, pick up the crib mattress (brand new freebie from a friend!), wash all the clothes we already have, buy baby sized hangers and possibly the breathable bumper, work on the art for his room, pre-pack a hospital bag and install the car seat base. We'll see next week how much we actually get done!

Already feeling like a bad mom and he's not even here yet. 29 1/2 week update.

2011-09-13T09:45:00.001-05:00

This is from 8/30/11. It didn't post when it was supposed to. Whoopsie!

29 weeks. I last updated at 23 1/2 weeks. FAIL.

I swore I was going to keep track of everything. Apparently when I said 'everything' I meant the outpatient bracelets from blood work and ultrasounds, appointment reminder cards and the bills. But not important stuff like cravings, weird/gross symptoms and weight gain. Or pictures. Because I've been taking belly shots (fully clothed thankyouverymuch) but realized my camera doesn't have the date set, so I have no idea how far along I was in each of the pictures.

Anyway. I'm still pregnant. Let's see what I can remember...

At 23 1/2 weeks I was +2 on my weight gain chart. I wasn't even paying attention to what the doc's office was tracking because I was fully clothed and that just doesn't count. Three weeks ago I had my appointment (27 weeks) and was mildly fearful of the scale. The baby belly really busted out in that month and my appetite was back. I got on the scale (fully clothed!) and said, "I don't even want to look." My nurse says something about how I'm doing fine and I've only gained 15 lbs the entire pregnancy.

I'm sorry. 15 lbs you say??? Perhaps I should have paid attention at all the appointments before that one because that meant I'd gained... a lot... in four weeks. I went home and weighed and sure enough I'd gained 8 lbs. in a month. IN A MONTH. According to my math, that puts me at a gain of 17 lbs since initially losing 7 lbs in the first trimester. I'm +10. Or I was. That's probably not the case now.

Also at my last appointment, the boy's heart rate was in the 140's, I was told I was in my 3rd trimester (mind blowing), and was told to come back in three weeks... so we could start having appointments every two weeks... then every week... which means this baby is coming. Soon. I passed my blood glucose test but found out I was anemic, which really just involves taking an extra iron supplement.

I made J go do the registry at Babies R Us a few weeks before we moved and then took a friend to do the registry at Target. I quickly realized after Target that they had all of 6 things I actually wanted where everything else could be obtained at BRU (that's mom slang for Babies R Us). The baby shower is set for October 12th and I can't wait to see how huge I look in all the pics, seeing as how I'll be one month from baby arrival.

I finally scheduled our childbirth class. The 4 week and 2 week courses were all booked for September and October, so we're taking the accelerated one-day childbirth class. Justin was concerned about whether we'd be excused for lunch or if they'd be feeding us. I'm concerned we won't learn anything because we'll be in shock. Should be interesting. (However, the hospital is dangerously close to Jimmy Johns. Here's hoping we're excused for lunch!)

The hot dog need has ceased some, so I'm actually eating things other than hot dogs and corn dogs for breakfast/lunch/dinner/etc. I developed a thing for Real Fruit Lime Bars... Popsicles that are delightfully delicious and refreshing. I can still report no strange craving combos. My belly button is slowly getting flatter and flatter, stretch marks can suck it and die, and sleep is starting to become difficult. It seems terribly mean that our bodies start to prepare us for the lack of sleep that's coming, when in all honesty, it should be making sleep easier for the hell we're about to endure.

Here's a prego pic for ya:

Psych. That's a whale. Still an accurate depiction.

To Remember.

2011-08-29T11:08:00.000-05:00

I am copying and pasting this from Mabel's House. She's facing some unknown life-changing medical issues and when I read her post 'State of the Union' I couldn't help but choke back tears. Her post included something I need not forget... ever... and her words were just what I needed to hear. Not because anything is going on, just because.

Quoted directly:

I came across this verse last night and it stopped me short.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

I've been on the receiving end of a lot of comfort lately. And when I read this, I realized God wanted me to pass on the comfort, so to speak. So if you're reading this, know that God sees you. He knows your name and the number of hairs on your head. He sees you at your computer right now, at work or at home in your pajamas. Whether you're happily sipping coffee or wiping your bleary sleep-deprived eyes. He knows about your job. He knows about the bills, or the diagnosis, or the fight. He has heard the longings of your heart that perhaps you haven't shared with another soul. He has heard you. He is as close as your next breath and He will never leave or forsake you. He has good planned for you and not bad. And if you, like me, are facing a seemingly insurmountable monster, sit back and wait on the Lord. He is never late. He never forgets. He will deliver you.

.........

He is never late. He never forgets. He will deliver you.

Happy Monday.

Meg

blah blah... Pinterest... blah blah... crap you've heard before... blah blah blah...

2011-08-09T11:18:00.000-05:00

You've heard about Pinterest. If you haven't heard about Pinterest, I'm worried for your mental health because every other blog in the history of everdom has discussed Pinterest. I won't rehash how it works and why it's awesome, just know that the obsession is real, there is an iPhone app, and their website is mobile friendly. They've really covered all their bases as far as internet addictions go.

With all that being said, I've been pinning the crap out of stuff lately, as in, I'm not packing much or going to sleep at a reasonable time, because I'm on Pinterest. Here are a few things I've pinned lately... oh, and find me: http://pinterest.com/mabney/. Follow me, I'll follow you. We'll re-pin the same stuff over and over and over again and drool over it all.

From my 'For the Home' board:

I love this idea... J would hate it because it wouldn't 'make sense' and honestly, I'd probably poke my eye out.

I love gallery walls, with different frames and colors and sizes, but J needs things to be even and as he says "clean looking" so this would be more up his alley.

I have a ton of jars left over from the wedding, including some pretty large and amazing Ball jars like this. This DIY pendant would be perfect above the kitchen sink.

I love everything about this... dots and the differing florals, all on dishes?!? Also, this is the color palette I'm thinking for the new kitchen/dining room.

From my 'Baby A' board:

Easy iron-on transfer onesie, perfect for birth announcements.

DIY closet dividers, foam and scrapbook paper. Easy-peasy.

My boy is getting a chalkboard wall in his room. Mostly for my own entertainment, obviously.

Baby boy is also getting a red dresser. I love it so much.

I'm digging this color palette for his room... I plan on going heavy on the cream/red/brown part, but adding in the green and blues is a nice touch (looks a lot like my kitchen palette, huh?)

From my 'Crafty Things' board:

I l-o-v-e love this wreath.

Speaking of l-o-v-e, these yarn wrapped letters are so sweet and could be done in any letters, any word, any color... perfect for mantel-scaping.

I think this would make the easiest, sweetest gift ever.

Coasters, made with scrapbook paper. I loved the color combos, then I realized it's the Amy Butler scrap pad I already have and love it even more.

From my 'Holidays' board (which includes some things that could also be on the 'Crafty Things'):

I love the patterns and colors, especially the shimmery gold.

This appears to be the easiest wreath to make ever. Wreath form, black tulle, ribbon.

How beautiful are these quilted stockings? I like the idea of the differing patterns but similar color palette and the palette basically matches my kitchen inspo pic and the boy's palette. I'm sensing a trend.

I guess stockings are on my mind, but I love the differing patterns and the wall color is pretty nice, too. Way better than the mint green our new house's living room has now...

I have a few other boards going and I'm shocked to see now that despite how much time I've spent on Pinterest I don't have as many pins as one would think. Oh and you can also save all sorts of quotes and prints and such and so far, this is my favorite:

If anyone is hiring someone that is skilled in the areas of reading blogs, reading shelter mags, daydreaming about houses and design and watching reality tv, I'M YOUR GAL.

To the lady who overshares and does gross things in my bathroom: thanks.

2011-08-08T11:10:00.000-05:00

It never fails that I'm at work and suddenly need to go to the bathroom and *bam* someone needs something. I really hate the times when I'm in dire need of a potty break and work is busy and seeing as how I'm always the only one here, there's no one to cover while I run to pee. Not being able to get to the restroom is one thing... being able to get to it but not being able to use it is a totally different story.

A very nice lady has come in a handful of times and always asks to use the bathroom. The time before last she used the bathroom and was in there for longer than your standard pee takes. I didn't think much of it though. Maybe she's just a really good hand washer. Then she comes in again a few days later and is in the bathroom FOREVER. She comes out and announces in the store (not knowing if there are other people besides me around), "Thanks for letting me use your bathroom again. I've had some serious stomach issues lately and it's TERRIBLE."

Effing gag.

I now know she's not an extra great hand washer. She just blew the funk out of my bathroom. The ONLY BATHROOM I have at work. God only knows if she sprayed something, or if she left the fan on... She then goes on to buy a bunch of crap and I consider pointing her towards the Pepto aisle. She leaves, I naturally tell my mom and we 'lol' via text about how gross people are and wait a reasonable amount of time before attempting the bathroom. Which still stinks an hour and a half later.

Fast forward a week. (All this talk of pee makes me need to pee even more and I'm thirsty but afraid to drink....)

Bathroom Blower Upper comes in and asks to use the bathroom. I consider saying it's broken, because I've been on the phone with AT&T for thirty minutes and mama needs to pee and we all know what she's about to do in there. Instead, I tell her to go ahead... on her way to the bathroom she says, "I'm gonna buy some food, too!"

Because that will make it allllllllll better.

I swear to you and I'm not exaggerating that she is in the bathroom for 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES. Not only is my bladder screaming at me but I know there's no end in sight because she is a talker. She comes out of the bathroom and thanks me for letting her use it. She ventures through the aisles telling me about her trip to the river and how she fell asleep and got a nasty sunburn with blisters AND someone stole her clothes, shoes, and towel. I do feel bad, but how asleep could you have been when it's 900 degrees outside and you're sleeping on the rocky bank of a river???

Finally she leaves after coming up to the register and pulling off a sample of her peeling skin... and I'm left having to pee my pants and still scared to death of our bathroom. I give it another twenty minutes before I can't take it any more and I run to the bathroom.

I open the door. No smell.

I turn on the light. No damage.

I walk to the toilet.

There are hairs. Wads of hairs on the toilet seat, half dipping into the toilet water below.

I have to pee SO BAD and I have no other options...

Rubber gloves, 409, plenty of gagging, and the t.p. triangle* for extra safety are used and finally I'm going to be able to use the restroom...

And then I hear the front door chime and someone call my name.

I'm not sorry to say I made them wait.

*Surely you're familiar with the t.p. triangle? Back when toilet seat covers weren't invented yet or before Wal-Mart started putting them in their stalls, my mom taught me to make a seat cover out of t.p. and it makes the shape of a triangle... hence, the t.p. triangle.

Silence is golden. Unless you have a blog. Then it's bad.

2011-08-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

My lack of posting has not been because I've had nothing going on... it's actually quite the opposite. We have lots of new developments and I have a half dozen half-written posts to tell you about it. Let's go down a brief list of what's going on around our parts:

1) I am, in fact, still pregnant and growing larger by the day.
2) Duke went to the vet, is not getting any better and we are facing some tough decisions.
3) We are moving. Again.
4) It's hot as hell here, which apparently is no big deal since a story on Yahoo today says it's hot EVERYWHERE.
5) We did one of our baby registries and despite my research, I'm still confused.

I feel like there's other stuff, but I'm pretty sure I won't remember it (momnesia) and it's probably nothing but feels like something (hormones). Oh! I've got some GREAT oversharing stories from work, too. People are insane. And a-holes. I've had a lot of a-holes around lately, and I'd like to blame the heat for their excessive a-hole-iness, but I don't feel like that's the case.

Case in point, my ~~facebook~~ smashface status update from the other day:

While we're on the subject of smashface, I'll share my current profile pic. I've always loved the 'Keep Calm and Carry On' posters until they were, well, all over the stinking place, but this takes the cake. I would blow this up in a heartbeat and frame it for our house:

I'm so ready for fall tv to come back, even though summer tv has not been too shabby thanks to all the reality shows we're DVR-ing (Anthony Bourdain No Reservations, MasterChef, Food Network Star, Design Star, Big Brother, Love in the Wild, Wipeout, American Ninja Warrior, Keeping up with the Kardashians, The Challenge: Rivals, Jersey Shore starts this week, too!, etc.)

And since I've already shared something 30 Rock related, why not share one of my favorite moments ever? (This post couldn't be any more random.) I'm wondering if it's appropriate to place this pillow in the baby boy's room:

"Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them to stay alive."

I'll see ya a few more times this week so while you're at it, try to stay cool, would ya? If you feel so compelled, share the temperature where you are now and what the normal usually is for this time of year. I need proof that everyone else is just as hot as we are.

The story on Duke...

2011-07-21T12:22:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned a few times that Duke started having seizures a few months ago. It started just two weeks after our wedding, on the morning of New Year's Day. Duke had been perfectly himself up until that morning, when he woke me up having what we know now as "focal seizures" affecting his face. There was slobber everywhere, as he was launching it throughout the house. He woke me up and I immediately thought he'd gotten something caught in his cheeks (jowls?) on the inside of his mouth. He wouldn't calm down, wouldn't let us touch his face, but he knew who we were and would listen to directions. We called our friend/vet tech extraordinaire Amy and she told us our only option was to head to the emergency vet clinic (Amy has a boxer with epilepsy, so she was a tremendous help in this process).

Duke was still having the seizures when we got there and they took him back to examine him. He was severely dehydrated and his potassium levels were low and he was still seizing, so they decided to keep him at least for the day. I think I cried all day long, because they didn't know what was wrong with him and the seizures kept happening despite dosing him with phenobarbital via IV. That evening, the vet decided he thought it was meningitis and they would start high doses of steroids Sunday morning and keep him until we could take him to our vet Monday morning.

As that week went on, Duke had seizures every single day. We saw one vet Monday morning who gave us more phenobarb (and told us it wasn't meningitis), another vet Wednesday when they didn't stop, went back to the emergency vet Wednesday night because he was having seizures all night, back to the Wednesday vet on Thursday, and finally we got to see the first vet (Monday's vet) again on Friday who suggested we dose him up with phenobarb, knocking him on his ass to "reset" his system. Duke and I had slept all of 4 hours from Saturday morning to Friday morning.

The vet we saw on Wednesday and Thursday believed Duke had a brain tumor (brain tumors are very common in boxers after the age of 5. Duke turned 5 the week his seizures started.) The only way to know if it's a brain tumor is to do an MRI or CT scan, which are only offered in Columbia or Overland Park and cost $1500. If it is a brain tumor, surgery can be done, which is expensive and most dogs don't survive it. I left Wednesday's appointment thinking we were going to have to put Duke down.

Monday/Friday's doctor (now our vet for everything) said that yes, it could be a tumor, but it could just be epilepsy. Even if it was a tumor, we could just treat it like epilepsy until it became obvious that it wasn't epilepsy at all and that Duke wouldn't live a normal life. We liked her outlook on it, and she had treated dogs, specifically boxers, with both tumors and epilepsy and we trusted her opinion. Duke was drugged up that Friday and was somewhat comatose for the weekend, but the seizures stopped. The medicine (phenobarbital, gabapentin, and potassium bromide) did the trick and we went the rest of January and February with only a few seizures here and there. However, Duke was never the Duke from before. He was more somber, never got excited, was just there.

Several visits over the last few months were because the seizures started happening more and other problems would pop up (like vomiting for no reason) and his dosages were changed around several times with success in that the seizures lessened. We put Duke on a diet (Diamond Naturals Lite Lamb & Rice if you're interested, I swear by it) and lost 7 lbs. in 6 weeks at our last appointment in May. He was "drunk dog" because the potassium bromide was too high since he'd lost weight, so his dosage was lowered. For two weeks, we had a dog back. He would run through the yard some and didn't sleep all the time. But by mid-June, he wasn't drunk dog, but instead was disoriented, easily distracted, and pacing excessively.

These symptoms have only gotten worse. He will pace for up to three hours walking laps in our house. He started running into things more and more and we realized about two weeks ago that the sight in his right eye was gone. I had noticed his sight was not as good, but it became painfully obvious he could see nothing out of that right eye. His depth perception is off, he has trouble jumping up in our bed and even the couch. He's fallen off both in the last month. He's like a pinball at home and at my work, just banging into everything as he paces and I know it has to hurt as he bangs his head into everything.

I started researching brain tumors in boxers despite everyone telling me not to. For almost 8 months, I haven't. I looked up side effects of the medicine he's on compared to the symptoms he had and sadly I'm at the conclusion that this may in fact be a brain tumor that is getting worse. According to several websites the symptoms of brain tumors in dogs are the following:
behavior change
lethargy
irritability
compulsive walking
walk in circle
loss of habits that have been trained before
facial paralysis often cause by tumor in the lower part of the brain (brainstem)
lower intelligence
partial or fully blindness indicated that there is a tumor in optic nerve or hypothalamus
low energy level
decreased activities
seizures often caused by tumor in the cerebral cortex
confusion
disorientation
wobbliness and tremors indicating that there is a tumor in the cerebellum region of the brain that play an important role in the integration of sensory perception
loss the sense of smell often cause by tumor in the sensory system used for olfaction (olfactory system)

Duke is showing at least 11 of the above symptoms and they are things I can't cross match with symptoms of epilepsy or side effects of his medication. Duke had a seizure last night that only effected his face (as most have only been focal seizures) but it took at least 10 minutes for him to "come back". He tried to climb up the walls by our front door and I had to hold him until my husband could grab him so he wouldn't hurt himself. To bring a dog out of a seizure, they recommend opening a can of dog food or letting them smell something familiar. Before, just the smell of my hand or my shirt was enough to get Duke back, but last night a hot dog wasn't even working. It was the worst I've ever seen as far as the aftermath of all the seizures he's had (which have been a lot in 7 1/2 months).

I've made an appointment for tomorrow morning with our vet and I'm going to go in level headed with a list of his symptoms and ask her to just be straight with me. I can't handle watching my dog suffer if it's not just a medicine issue that can be fixed. Duke hasn't been "my" dog since the seizures started. I feel terrible enough that he could be in pain and can't tell me or that he's unhappy and I've drug this out for my own sake. I'm praying for honesty from the doctor, the ability to make the right decision for Duke, and understanding from my husband. Sometimes I do think the worst in most situations, but I feel like I'm being as clear minded as possible. I simply want what's best for Duke and our family. And watching him like this isn't helping either of those.