Jenn: Finding Myself, Again......

Annette: Love Conquers All

2012-07-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

My friend, Annette, shared a post, "Triplets...Practically", from her Blog, Bleubird Diary yesterday. Today, she was kind enough to answer some of my pestering "Mom Questions". Like I said before, Annette truly is an unbelievable Mom and one I have learned from on many occasions. The fact that her 3 kids were all born in 3 years may have something to do with her incredible "Mommy Wisdom".
My name is Annette Yanez. I am the Mother of three wonderful kids, Alex, Delisa and Noah. I have been married to my husband, Bobby, for ten years. I grew up in the Austin, Texas area and then moved to Columbus, Texas to attend Texas Bible Institute where I ended up staying on staff for over eight years serving in different area of ministry. I am a Blogger myself on Bleubird Diary , and I am currently pursuing my undergraduate in Christian Counseling at Liberty University.
Are you a scheduled or non-scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
I was a scheduled Mom up until Alex went to Kinder. Now we live in a frame and routine of a schedule- but it no longer mandates our days.
Having structure in our lives definitely brought order where the kids could thrive. They were confident and assured of security in our home so they developed in all of their stages. As much of a stickler I was to our schedule, I think that having flexibility is vital. Things come up, opportunities to hang out with others or to just get up and go for a family outing- if your are to confined by schedule you could miss out making some special memories. So, be flexible.
Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
Allowing your child to develop his/her creativity is so essential to their development. What I would have changed, and what I am improving now is, allowing them to play with their toys without going behind them and cleaning up. I have read that, to us it is a mess, but to them it is something in their minds they have created. I use to give Alex three crayons at a time to color with and found out in Kinder that the more colors they use the better. Trust me, we have TONS of colors everywhere now!
Do you have a secret "Mommy Confession"- something that you did/do that you are willing to share?
Nowadays, I guess admitting that I discipline my kids is a "confession".
Cloth or disposable diapers?
My Mom used cloth diapers with my younger sibling when I was around 11 years old, so I gained some practice then. Sometimes I wished that I had done the same, especially now that I am conscience of the amount of waste we are creating. BUT, I did use disposable ones for my kids...there was about 6 months that all three of my kids were in diapers!!!!!
Did the way you were parented shape the way that you parent your own children?
For sure! I am structured and routined because of my parents, and my kids thrive in structure also. Growing up, we were not big huggers. I never had a doubt of being loved, but we just did not always express it. With my kids, they are over loaded in hugs, kisses and holding hands.
What are your "non-negotiables" when it comes to your kids?
Respect towards others. Showing love and friendship to everyone around us is not a question, it is what we do. Guarding my kids innocence while shepherding their hearts to love God.
Did you breastfeed- why/why not? Did you feel pressured either way?
I nursed because I wanted to. I figured that if I was well endowed then why not! HaHa!
Do you have a funny "labor moment"?
With my third son, Noah, I went into labor and had to have my contractions slowed down, so they gave me the sedative Ambein. All I could 'dream' and talk about (in my sleep) was Abby Cadaby (the fairy from Sesame Street). I was talking some crazy stuff...but what do you expect when they kept walking me around to different rooms after I was sedated!
One thing that you do for your kids- because you love them- but you absolutely dread it every time?
Play Dough....enough said!
What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children, that you have found yourself doing?

Being too uptight about my house being clean and tidy. I have relaxed tons, but you will still come to a clean orderly house...most of the time. I have learned to enjoy family moments and pick up the mess the next day.
What is the best advice you could give to a new Mother?
Do what is right for your family. And I mean your husband, you and your kids. Extended family and friends will have the best advice for you, however, not everything works the same once you try it. Above everything, love on your kids- you can never go wrong with love. Remember, love conquers all and God's love is on your side.

Annette: "Triplets...Practically!"

2012-07-18T11:41:00.002-07:00

As Mom's, we get lots of advice! Some we ask for and much we do NOT, lol! There are the Mom's we go to for advice, and the Mom's we avoid (and roll our eyes at) when it comes to advice.

My friend Annette, was definitely one of my "Go To Mom's" when it came to questions and advice. There are several things she shared with me over the years that worked, but there is one that to this day I say is genius! While visiting her one day, I overheard her say to one of her children that they needed to behave or they would "be disciplined". She began to share with me that that is the word they use for correction with their kids. Now, I consider this genius for a variety of reasons, the main one being, follow through. If you say to your children that they are headed towards time out, or are going to have something taken away, or some other- you MUST follow through with whatever you just said (or else your word means nothing). But, if you tell them they are going to be disciplined, you have not locked yourself into anything specific- but the kids know that something IS coming! Genius, right? Well, maybe not to anyone else, but it sure was to me. So, my children, along with Annette's, know a variety of things may happen when I say the "D" word- but they do not want to chance just what it may be.

Anyway, Annette and I were on staff at the ministry together and even found ourselves pregnant at the same time. Annette has 3 beautiful children, who are so close together in age you could call them Triplets..practically! (post below). When I would watch Annette with her kids, I would say "THAT is the kind of Mom I want to be.." I know she would argue this, but she's pretty close to the perfect Mom- I have learned so much from her. Not to mention, she looks almost perfect for having 3 kids, is beautiful, and her hair is every women's envy!

Here's a little bit about Annette followed by a post from her own Blog, "Bleubird Diary", where she shares from her heart and experiences (I encourage you to slip over, take a peek, and follow her Blog). She was also kind enough to answer some of my questions which I will be posting tomorrow (ya'll come back now).

Annette Yanez is a mother of three wonderful kids, Alex, Delisa and Noah. She has been married to her husband, Bobby, for ten years. Annette grew up in the Austin, Texas area and then moved to Columbus, Texas to attend Texas Bible Institute and later staying on staff there for over 8 years serving in different areas of ministry. Annette is currently pursuing her undergraduate in Christian Counseling at Liberty University.

Triplets...practically!
I never have given myself credit for having my hands full with 3 little kids. Not just any 3 little kids who are spaced out in age but 3 little kids that are about a year apart! Yes, a year apart! Here let me make my point a bit stronger by listing out the years I had them: 2005, 2006 and 2007. If that is not strong enough how about their age: 5,4 and 3! So yes, 3 little ones in 3 years!
When we are out or meeting new people they always acknowledge the fact how close the kids are and how busy we must be with just them. Maybe now that I am finally recovering from my pregnancies I am not so delusional so I am understanding that statement. Humor me as I am coming to terms, please…. just for a moment though imagine your youngest one and multiply that by 3. Imagine the wiggly, the test of boundaries, the fussiness, the questions, the anything your kid does. Picture the one child jumping of the coach, you repeating yourself for the second time to not jump again as they are mid-air jumping. Can you even imagine 3 kids one by one jumping off the coach and really you have no chance in telling them to stop as they are too quick for your words! I do not even have to go into bedtime with 3 kids doing the wave as they get up to “use the bathroom”….you get the picture.
So From now on I am no longer responding with my usual of saying “oh not really they are great kids”, which they are. I will be bold in saying “you bet I am busy!” I am busy with triple the amount of hugs, triple the amount of kisses, triple the amount of giggles, triple the amount of love! How could my heart not be full?

Elizabeth: Dreams Come True x2

2012-07-16T10:02:00.001-07:00

It is so wonderful to have my friend, Elizabeth, share her experiences today! Elizabeth holds a very special place in my family's heart: she was our first babysitter ever. She was the first one (besides Tenly's Godmother, Valinda) to babysit Tenly. While we were working at the ministry, we always found one of the students to be our sitter if/when we needed one. Elizabeth was an easy first choice. She worked in our church nursery (and eventually headed it up), her then boyfriend (now husband) Jonathan worked with Lupe in the kitchen- so we had the opportunity to get to know and adore Elizabeth early on. We instantly became friends and my girls fell in love with her.

Liz with MY 2 girls

Not to long after they were married, Jonathan and Liz left the ministry to be closer to family in Alabama. Some time later she told us she was pregnant, and another announcement followed that it was TWINS! God knows the ones who can handle multiples and those who can't- I am the latter.
Elizabeth is one of those that you just know is "called" to be a Mom. She oozes patience (even with other peoples kids, lol), and has a passion about seeing children succeed in everything they do. There are so many other Mom's, like myself, who have been so privileged to have Elizabeth impart into their children's lives at a young age. It's great to see her imparting into her own girls and watch her dream to be a Mom unfold- Double time!

My name is Elizabeth painter, my husband Jonathan and I have been married 4 years next month. We live in Alabama with our Twin girls, Emily and Kaily, who are 18 months- what a HUGE surprise they were!
Growing up, all I ever thought of was becoming a Wife and Mom, I am so blessed to have accomplished that with my wonderful husband and daughters. I never knew if/when/how I would get there, I was just confident that someday I would meet the man God had for me, we would get married and have some kids, 3-4 seemed like a good number.

Things have not been 'picture perfect", for example, my husband has been working out of state for a few months with only a couple weekend breaks to come home in between. I do have help from family and neighbors, but it's not the same as Jon being here and I often find myself feeling like a "single Mom". It's hard enough having my husband far away for extended periods of time, but when you put the "first time Mom with TWINS" in there- it can be overwhelming. We make it a point to make the most of the times Jonathan is able to come home and do everything as a family.
Do you find yourself doing things as a Mom that you swore you would never do?
While babysitting and working in the church nursery, I always found myself thinking, "my kids will be like _____" or "my kids will never be like _____". I never gave much thought on how I would accomplish that though.

My Subconscious Ideals:
I'd home school my kids, since I had been home schooled and enjoyed it. We would be in church every Sunday as a family and as involved as possible. We would have a beautiful, perfectly decorated home that wouldn't get messy with toys all offer the living room. Some of those things have com true and others seem like very VERY wishful thinking.
Other Mommy Ideals:

I would have gone through labor and delivery 100% drug free. I would of breastfed exclusively for at least 6 months. I would have had my child(ren) attached to me, "wearing them" everywhere, keeping them as close as possible at all times. I would of been able to endure cloth diapers and make all of the girls baby food and cooking perfectly healthy meals. Obviously, that list is not possible for Mom's with one baby, much less 2! I am proud of myself though, knowing I am doing the best that I can for my girls (often alone) and learning to trust God completely with everything else.

Schedule or No Schedule?
My girls do keep somewhat of a schedule. They wake up, eat and go to bed at the same times. If one happens to wake up before the other, I will let her come out and play- although she typically wants to go wake up her sister. When the other wakes up without her sister being in the room., she will start crying. They have been together since forever and are very close. They are wonderful about being able to sleep through noise- one of the great points of twins that helps me out a lot.
Labor Meds?

I used to tell myself that "labor" in childbirth really means just that "work" not necessarily the "pain". I really thought that if I could make up my mind that it would go smooth and easy, it would.
I did have to be induced a couple days before my due date. I was in labor all during the night, they did finally break my water to try to speed things up. They kept asking what my pain level was and I kept reassuring them that I was fine- very uncomfortable- but not in actual pain. I did eventually get an epidural after that, and we still have several hours to go. Early the next morning, the girls did finally arrive- I pushed them out 40 minutes apart.
Breastfeeding?

I knew I wanted to breastfeed, and did have intentions of doing it exclusively. But, after the exhaustion of the long labor and delivery (and I lost a lot of blood) and trying to learn how to feed TWINS at the same time, Jon and I decided that we might as well take advantage of the help while we had it. We let the nurses keep the babies in the nursery for a few hours while we had some rest and allowed them to give the girls formula. I did still nurse and pump as much as I could for a few months, but I just couldn't produce enough milk to keep up with those two girls.
I Accomplished a Hard Task at a Young Age:
I knew I could not always hold the two of my girls and I wanted them to learn Independence and how to self-soothe- of course with them having the confidence Mommy was nearby. I worked on them getting use to lying down on their own and putting themselves to sleep pretty early on. Using swings also helped a lot so that I could get my stuff done.

I Wish I Had Time Away:
I still don't get out of the house that much, besides drive-thrus, banks, and Wal-Mart which has the double seated carts. Unless I have someone else to help carry or push one, it's just to difficult! I am finding that as they are getting older, it is getting easier to do more things without help.
My Advice To Another Mom:
Don't worry about what others are expecting/thinking. Your children don't really care how you do things as long as they know you love them while doing it.

Angela: Continuing To Grow

2012-07-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Angela and I met 17 years ago while we attended Texas Bible Institute together. We were able to reconnect through Facebook after many years (one of the main reasons I love FB). One of the main things I remember about Angela all of those years ago was her amazing talent on the piano and ability to lead others in praise and worship. She was always a bit quiet but very sincere and genuine.

Angela has her own business, Creative Designs by Angela- her work is beautiful and she is so unbelievably creative! (I encourage you to take a look at her site.)
I love how candid she is below in answering questions about her new journey as a Mom. Although it was unexpected and very surprising, Angela educated herself and walks in complete confidence knowing she is making the best decisions for her family and child.

My name is Angela and my husband, Raymond, and I have been married for almost 4 years and we have a 3-year-old daughter, Faith. When it comes to experience, I’m still relatively new at this Mom thing. Raymond and I were well into our thirties when we were married, so we were both very settled in our core beliefs, values, and thoughts about many things. We both have mellow, quiet personalities. We also enjoy reading, solitude, and quiet times. WHOA were we surprised when Faith Elizabeth came along! She is nothing like us in personality. She wasn’t a fussy baby, but she did cry a lot and liked activity and didn’t mind noise. She is super friendly and extroverted and keeps us on our toes and is lots of fun!

On your parenting journey, what was the most difficult part requiring a ton of patience?

Two things come to mind: breastfeeding and potty training.
I believe one reason many mothers choose not to breastfeed is because it can be difficult. It is definitely faster, easier, and more convenient to bottle feed. However, I was determined to nurse my baby no matter what. I will say we didn’t just have a naturally, easy time with it at first. It does take work and patience! I am very happy that I was able to breastfeed my baby for a year.
Potty training was also a big test of patience. I’m not an animal person, so I never had practice with a puppy constantly ruining the carpet. I like things to be CLEAN, so it was a big test for me not to flip out when accidents happened on the carpet.
There are difficulties all along the journey of parenthood and it is important to keep in mind that each phase won’t last forever. It’ll be over before you know it, so just take it in stride!

Describe each of your children in 1 word.

ENERGETIC! It can be difficult to keep her still and quiet. She loves to jump, dance, run, sing, and talk!

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?

A little of both, by nature, I prefer structure and schedules and typically do not do well with spontaneity. However, our family has an atypical schedule because my husband works shift work. When he works nights, we have to be very quiet around the house when he is sleeping during the day. And because his schedule constantly changes back and forth between working days and nights, his work schedule dictates our household schedule. Therefore, we don’t have the same schedule EVERYDAY. I usually get the most household work done when he is working days. And when he is off we get to enjoy family time. We are scheduled in that we always plan EVERYTHING according to my husband’s work schedule.

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?

I REALLY do NOT like it when people give my child things to eat without asking my permission. Especially when it is food that I don’t allow her to eat (like candy, sugary drinks, etc.) On the flip side, I REALLY appreciate it when people ask me if it’s OK for her to have something. I just think it is courteous, as well as just plain smart– you never know if a child has food allergies, sensitivities, or medical restrictions.

Did the way you were parented shape that way that you parent your own children?

Yes. For the most part, growing up my mom was always a stay-at-home mom. My Mother was always VERY present, involved, and available. She was at nearly every single piano lesson I had for 12 years. She home schooled us for a few years. She has always put our family first. I knew that if/when I became a mother that was how I wanted to be.
Education has always been extremely important to me and I was very career-minded and goal-oriented during college and my single years. I had intended on going to a professional school for an additional 4 years after earning my bachelor’s degree. I honestly did not place a high priority on having children because I was so focused on pursuing my education- I frequently told my parents that I didn’t want children. My reasoning was because I knew how much I valued my mother being there for me. I knew that (for me) I could only put all of my energy into one or the other. That is just the type of person I am – black or white, no gray.

There was a definite shift in my mind and heart once I knew I was pregnant. I will honestly say that it was difficult for me, I felt like I couldn’t do what I WANTEDanymore. I realize many people believe you can do both, and I know there are many wonderful working mothers and many mothers do not have the option to stay at home. I am certainly not trying to say there is one right or wrong way. But for me, it has been the most wonderful gift from God to be completely single-minded in putting all of my time, energy, and love into my child and not miss a single thing. I absolutely LOVE being able to teach her and watch her learn and grow.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?

I would advise a new mom just to inform herself by reading and talking to other moms. There are so many unknowns and expectations that you face as a new mom. Often time’s things don’t go as we planned, hoped, or expected.

We planned a home birth and had a midwife who suggested lots of great reading material to help me know what to expect. It was a wonderful way to mentally prepare myself for labor and delivery ahead of time. Doing that helped calm my fears and understand the different things I might experience during the process. I also read a lot during the time Faith was an infant and used certain methods to help establish good sleeping and eating patterns.
THIS FOLLOWING ADVICE I ONLY SHARE WITH THOSE THAT WANT TO HEAR (Let me step up on my soap box…) I also believe VERY strongly that YOU are responsible for your own body and family– not society, whatever the norm is, or what others tell you. This type of thinking usually goes against the grain and doesn’t set too well with medical personnel. I’ve dealt with doctors and nurses trying to tell me what I should do regarding the birth of my daughter, vaccinations, etc., and it can be difficult when you feel someone pressuring you into something you don’t want. That is why it is important to inform yourself, know your options, and know what YOU want BEFORE you are forced into making a decision.

Do you remember your first thought as you held/saw your child(ren) for the first time?

It wasn’t the typical response. I’m sharing this in hopes that someone will relate and realize it’s OK to feel whatever you feel. After 24+ hours of labor (at home), I was extremely worn out. Things didn’t go completely as we had planned (we had to go to the hospital). When Faith finally arrived, there were no tears like I see in the movies, there weren’t any hearts floating in the air, and I wasn’t overcome by emotion. I just thought to myself “Finally!!! She’s out! I’m SO tired”. I really didn’t feel or think anything else at that moment. This probably sounds like a horrible confession to some (especially if you don’t know my personality)- but I do tend to be more of a rational person, rather than emotional. Although I am the oldest of three and have lots of natural maternal instincts from taking care of my younger siblings, there wasn’t an instant “ANYTHING” for me when I became a mom; it has been a gradual progression. My daughter, my husband, and I are all growing together and loving each other more and more every day. And it is a wonderful journey.

Eva: A Real Mom of Incredible Faith

2012-07-08T10:48:00.001-07:00

One thing I have enjoyed about spotlighting these different Moms is the variety involved. Last week, I featured my friend Sandi who is now a Grandma- I think it so great for us young(er) Mom’s to appreciate perspectives from before us. Today, Mrs. Eva is gracing us with wisdom. This woman is AMAZING!

I met Mrs. Eva while her son, Greg, was attending TBI. Greg was a graduate of the Bible school and followed by coming on staff with BMI. The circumstances I met her through, were not the best but have enabled me to learn so much from this incredible woman of faith. While working at the camp, Greg was struck by lightening. While he was rehabilitating, Mrs. Eva flew to Texas from New York to be with him. I admired that she was not his Mom, but his advocate in every way. You would walk in to see Greg, and all you saw and heard was scripture and faith. I am sure Eva had difficult moments, but she never once allowed them to rule or dominate her, Greg or the circumstance.

Doctors said many times many things that Greg would NEVER do, but Greg has proven him wrong in every circumstance. Mrs. Eva stood beside him never allowing The Word that was put in him to die- and I believe that is the main reason he has broken the odds.

Every time Mrs. Eva would come to the camp to visit, she taught me something within our conversation whether short or long. Every time I log onto Facebook, there is an encouraging word on Mrs. Eva’s status- never fails. I hope you take something away from this great Woman of Faith today:

I was born Eva Marie Robinson and I ALWAYS thought that name meant PRINCESS. I was one of 6 kids by two parents who were both very strongly opinionated. They both had hard lives as kids thus; we were raised with modified imperfect parenting. Of course, as children, were NEVER going to raise our own kids "that way."
As a young girl, I always wanted to be married and have children. I NEVER saw my life without that. I did work outside my home as an adult, never aspiring to climb the corporate ladder. I wanted to have a family and my family has always been more important to me
I knew of God, but was not saved until I was pregnant with my 4th child. As I grew in my relationship with Jesus, I knew I wanted my children to have this Jesus and committed them to Him through dedications at church.

Being a mom. Oh I so did not know what that meant. Unrealistic dreams and ideas of perfect children created problems (for me) but I want people to know that the grace of God is amazing. It was only by His grace that I did not hurt my kids or go crazy (literally). And because He is good, things did turn out well. My only advice to new couples and new to be parents would be to love God more than you love each other- because if you love God, you will know how to love each other. It really is a process and step-by-step we move forward. I still love being a mommy, but now I am a mommy to men-children who have lives of their own- it’s a new adventure. I'm ready and so are they.

Jeremy & Rachel's Engagement

The best piece of advice I can offer: Don't do anything you don't want your kids to do, because they will do what you do.

Parenting journey and patience: I had four children. They each had a mind of their own. You cannot parent each child alike because they are different. And because their daddy worked very long hours, I did a lot of the parenting on my own. Let's just say, this required patience but I didn't practice it so well. Thank God for grace.
Each of my children described in one word would be: Markie--Miraculous, Jeremy--gift, Greg--truth, Micah—peace.
The scheduled or unscheduled Mom: I so wanted to be the scheduled mom but failed miserably. Because we had special needs children in our home, it was best to be extremely flexible.
My Mommy pet peeve, there was too many. I had extremely unreasonable expectations for "family". I watched the Walton’s growing up and well, let's just say, we weren't the Walton’s.
I carry the most guilt for not enjoying my children more.

Embarrassing moment: The kids were older, young teens. I was getting ready for church. They asked what they could do to help (per dad's instructions- good Daddy). I asked one to make sure their brothers stayed dressed and no messes while I grabbed a quick shower, and the other I asked if they would set my "thongs" by the door so I could just throw them on and get everyone to church. Well, you can imagine…
If I could change something, I really did want to enjoy my family so much more. I had a lot of baggage when I got married and that spilled into my parenting skills. When I finally learned to laugh, it was so much fun.
My first thoughts after my children were born:
Markie-fear and I was very protective because the doctors told us he would die and not to get attached to him.

Jeremy-I had instant gratification because he was just perfect.

Greg- So happy he was healthy and perfect.

Micah-fear and sadness because he had problems the doctors could not diagnose in the beginning. I got to hold him 2 seconds after birth but he was blue.
What would I do differently? Hug more, kiss more, talk differently, and laugh a lot.
I said I would NEVER talk like my mom and point my finger with my hand on my hip. Ha-Ha!
Fear: I was not afraid when I first found I was pregnant. From the time I was a teen, all I ever wanted was to be married and raise a family.
There were things I was very aware of because of the way I was parented. I was raised under criticism, control, and manipulation. I didn't know how to laugh. God taught me how. I learned that the power of your words is extremely important when raising children. For example when Greg would lie to us, daddy and I would say, "Greg, your name means truth seeker. Therefore you are not allowed to lie." He did take that to heart and we heard him defending his name later in life.

My boys were so very sweet and sweet natured. I loved them as children and even now that they are adults. God and Dr. Dobson were my counselors and even then I didn't do everything right. But God . . . We must rely on Him so very much. I envied moms that looked like they had it all together only to find out, they had their own struggles. I'm just so grateful my children love me in spite of my parenting or non-parenting skills. Pray, pray, pray and be willing to change. I had to be willing to say I'm sorry to my kids when I was wrong. I had to humble myself much because growing up I didn't receive this type of parenting. It was a learning and growing process and just when I think I've got it down right, we enter another phase in life.

Joelle: A Praying Mom

2012-07-06T08:15:00.003-07:00

My friend Joelle- or as I like to call her, Wonder Woman (she probably laughed and rolled her eyes when she read that) gives some insight today. I am sure she has her faults, but she just always seems so balanced, to me!

I really credit her and my friend Joanne for giving me the idea of prying into others Mom’s minds. She was the one who made me realize that many Mom’s are very different from me, and that’s okay (yes, you would of thought I came to that realization a long time ago..). “But, I wont let my girls go to bed before EVERYTHING is put back in its place. I even make them get out of bed to fix it if it’s not. Is that okay?” She reassured me that as a teacher, she observes these types of children to be very responsible- I’m praying that is the result I get.

I was able to really get to know Joelle best after I had the opportunity to work under her as she directed a short play that the Women’sMinistry put on at CCC. She was so amazingly patient (it may have taken her more patience to work with a bunch of multi tasking women than teenagers) and almost unshakable. We had so many unexpected things thrown at us during that production, and she may have been having a breakdown in her head but none of us ever knew. I learned so much from her, and appreciated and grew from her honesty and direction.

Daryl received his private helicopter license

Joelle will share below some of the many huge obstacles she and her family have, and continue to face. I love that Joelle has never allowed her “disabilities” to define or limit her. On days that I would of remained in bed, she is in church, attending events for her children, or running errands for her family. She remains one of the strongest unbelievable women I know (she always laughs us off when we say that), full of faith, love, and more talent than I have in my little finger.

My name is Joelle and I was born in Rochester, NY where I also met my husband of 16 years. I have been living in South Florida since 1999 working as a middle school teacher at Ramblewood Middle in Coral Springs. I taught language arts and had the unique opportunity to start the drama program at my school. One of my former drama students is currently starring as Boq in Wicked on Broadway.

However, my biggest joy is being a mother of 3 daughters ages 6, 8, and 10.In 2008, my husband and I experienced several unexpected blows. My husband, Daryl, was attending helicopter school in hopes of becoming a flight instructor, but his dream was derailed when the school he was attending abruptly closed and declared bankruptcy after taking the entire loan. The same month, I was diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder, pseudotumor cerebri, also known as intracranial hypertension.The illness gives me all the symptoms of having a brain tumor, which is caused by excessive cerebral spinal fluid putting pressure on my brain, not an actual tumor. In 2011 I underwent brain surgery to have a vp shunt put in to help relieve the pressure. My daily symptoms continue to be frequently debilitating and have caused me to leave my teaching job and old life behind. My husband and I have found the hope we needed in Christ. In fact, I see the school closing and my illness as a blessing as it has ‘fast tracked’ our faith journey. In addition to being a wife and mother, I enjoy writing, reading, and being creative. My lifelong goal is to grow in my relationship with Christ while modeling my Christian walk for my three daughters that they may grow into their own relationship with Him.

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
I have struggled in the area of scheduling. Is there a thing as too much scheduling or not enough? Of course there is. Ideally there should be a balance. Ahhh, balance. That seems to come up so much in mothering….balancing a baby on one hip, while feeding the toddler, consoling a friend on the phone, thinking about where you are possibly going to find time to stop and relieve your overflowing bladder. I have friends that are schedulers and non-schedulers. I have spent a great deal of time observing. I thought scheduling meant that every second of the day was planned out, like an organized classroom. I thought non-scheduling meant there was no discipline or structure. I find days where I don’t have enough scheduled and that’s when mischievous ideation begins for my six year old. I find days when I have so much scheduled and planned and all the girls really want to do is play with the neighbor next door. However, don’t come to my house between 5-6pm as we are always eating dinner. I schedule dinner. I have ideas of things I’d like to do with the girls, but as I have had to learn, sometimes what I want isn’t always what is in His plans for my day. I have learned to have an idea of what the day ahead might look like, but being flexible is key. I used to plan a great deal more when my girls were much younger. I needed to have snacks, and drinks and diapers, and a clean outfit…oh, and can’t forget the wipes and hand sanitizer along with the cart cover, stroller… better make sure I have that extra binkies… but as they have grown I have had to plan ahead less.

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?

My biggest Mommy pet-peeve is definitely playing the TV or iPod too loud. I am constantly telling my girls to “turn it down or put on your head set!”

Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
Something I am doing differently is taking the time to play with the girls. I can’t run around with them, but I can play board games or play a game with them on their iPod. This is something I’m sorry to say I didn’t do so well with when they were younger. I could use the excuse that there were three of them and only one of me or that I was working full time, but I don’t spend my whole day playing with them. I give some of my time. Yes, I have a house to maintain like most people and things that need to get done. It all goes back to balance. There is time for what’s important and to me, letting my kids know that I am there for them falls high on my priority list. I notice that when I do take the time to play with them, they reciprocate by helping me with the things around the house that need to get done. They have their own household duties, but when I play with them, they see that they could spend even more time with mom if they help me. It’s a win, win.

Do you have a secret “Mommy Confession”- something that you did/do that you are willing to share?
I have been having an exceptional amount of sadness in having to let go of the mother I used to be and embracing the person I am able to be now. My illness changed many things for my family, including who I am as a mother. My energy level gets depleted easily and I am not able to do the fun activities I used to be able to do with my kids. This has been a struggle for me. I am in the process of identifying the things I am capable of doing with and for them. Next week, for the first time ever, my kids will go, without me, to a day camp. We always had fun together, but life is different now. I pray that my time with them will be better because I will be able to conserve more energy. It will be a new experience for them and they are excited. I think I am the only one who feels badly about sending them to camp. I know that, even in this experience, God has given me an opportunity to continue abiding in his love, grace and mercy.

What are your “non-negotiables” when it comes to your kids?
A non-negotiable… hmmm. There are a few I can think of but the top one is telling the truth, something I myself model. I was surprised by how difficult it can be to be truthful. The tooth fairy, Santa, and the Easter bunny are only a few of the imaginary idols that I introduced to my girls before coming to Christ. I struggled with how to switch over while remaining honest and not destroying their trust in me. What I did was focus on the joy of the event and the reason behind it MORE than the imaginary idol. I have down played Santa and the Easter bunny and focused on Jesus’ birth and resurrection. My oldest at one point straight out asked me to tell her the truth if so-and-so was real. I told her the truth. I guess I see how following the way of the world can be easier at times, but I see that my goal is for my girls to come to know, to love, and to have a relationship with Christ and I am not making steps towards that if I am focused on what the world focus’ on during these holidays.

What was your biggest fear when you found out you were going to be a Mom?
By far, my biggest fear for my children has been their physical safety. I was sexually abused as a young girl by a boy who was sleeping over with my old brother. My parents were home. I find myself very protective in this area, but know that everything that has happened in my past was part of the journey to get to where I am today, which is in the loving arms of grace. I trust that God will guide my decisions about sleep-over’s and allowing the girls to play at others’ houses along with the advice and counsel of my husband. I must trust that as much as God has great plans for me and loves me, so does he love the girls and their futures. I trust that regardless of what happens, God knows what he is doing and has the big picture under control. It’s been very freeing to give my life over to God. This is not to say that the initial concern has vanished, it has not, but I don’t allow fear to run my life, I allow God to by using prayer, reading his word and following it.

Did you breastfeed- why/why not? Did you feel pressure to/not to?
I am a huge breastfeeding advocate! I was told I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed, buy my mother was wrong. My family was not too savvy of the idea of breastfeeding as they didn’t get to feed the girls as often as I think they would have liked. I noticed how uncomfortable others felt about my breastfeeding, which I truly could not comprehend as I knew that it was the absolute best thing for my baby. I was determined to nurse for 1 year and am happy to report that I did that for each of my girls. If I could go back, I would have allowed the bottle sooner than I did, so my family would have felt more included. I also feel that I did a great deal of judging others moms who couldn’t or wouldn’t breastfeed. I have come to realize that their journey is just that…theirs! I don’t walk in their shoes. I don’t know their life. It’s not my place to judge but to love and support others mothers as best I can.

What is your “secret” addiction or obsession?
I am secretly addicted to Swedish Fish and lately it has been the colored ones. I’m not suppose to have sugar, but I think these little guys just whisk me back to my one of my few happy childhood memories. I used to search under the couch cushion and on the floor of the car just to find change to buy the $.01 treat at the Village Shop. It’s nice to share my love of them with my girls. They all have a favorite color.

One thing that you do for your kids- because you love them- but you absolutely dread it every time!?
Truth? I don’t want to play. Often I am dragged away from bed or a chore that I am right in the middle of doing to go off and play Monopoly or play dough. But yes, I love them more than focusing on my headache or having to complete the chore right then and there. I know whatever it was I walked away from would still be there, but my kids wanting me to play won’t last forever.

What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children, that you have found yourself doing?
I said I would never let my kids go outside and play without me being there. I recall criticizing someone else for allowing their 6 year old to roam outside without supervision. In fact, I was appalled! Fast forward a few years, I became sick, not flu sick, but long term, chronic sick. There are times my 6 year old is outside riding her bike. Yes, her older sisters are out there. Yes, we have boundaries and rules. But, yes, my kids play outside without me there. (I can only imagine the dropped jaws, under-the-breath accusations/thoughts, and blatant disapproval.) However, I believe I am slowly teaching my girls how to fly from this nest. Giving them this small independence is one step toward that goal. In this process, I have had to learn to trust others. I trust that my families of neighbors are keeping watch over my children when I am in bed in pain with no help. They know my situation and have been generous in this area. It’s funny that we call ourselves Christians, yet don’t take the time to notice the needs of those who live around us. Instead of judging a neighbor for allowing a child to do something, I have learned to extend grace and invite the child to join us or just keep an eye on him/her myself. Isn’t that what we would hope someone would do us? I know I do.

Labor with drugs or without drugs?
My plan was a natural birth….but even the best laid plans go awry. I was induced with all three girls and had an epidural for each. I didn’t expect to have gestational diabetes, but did with my first, so that is why they wanted to induce. My second, the doctors thought would be too big and ended up weighing almost a pound less than my first. My third was late.

Your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?

My biggest “Aha” moment was coming to the realization that my children are not “mine”, they are God’s. A huge weight lifted for me in this realization. My job is to love them and plant the seeds. Ultimately, I am in partnership with God to raise them. He will take the planted seeds and complete the work in them.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?

The best advice I could give a new mother is instead of looking towards friends and family for answers as to what to do with your children, partner with God first. Ultimately, He loves our children even more than we do. Secondly, it’s NEVER too early to be a praying parent. Prayer is powerful and when we pray for our children intentionally, we have given them one of the best gifts they will ever receive.

Rachel: Chosen To Be A Mom..

2012-07-04T05:38:00.001-07:00

Going back to my college days with my former roomie, Rachel today. I don’t even know where to start introducing her- I have so many memories! Rachel and I did not quite know how to take each other when we first met; she was one of my new roommates among the 7. We figured out pretty quickly that was because we were alike in many ways! One of those realizations was when we quickly decided we needed to decorate our dorm apartment- it took us no time at all to make a plan to get started (By the way, we definitely had the cutest apartment on campus).

We all became friends almost immediately. Rachel was a load of fun and loved to do things crazy and unexpected- unlike myself- so she definitely helped me learn to let my guard down. Later, she and I began working with a family giving therapy to their autistic son.

It was not until after Rachel and I both became Mom’s, that we realized how similarly we parented. After talking one day, we kind of realized that much of that probably came from our training with ABA therapy working with autistic children. That training truly did make me a better Mom.

Every time I see posts from Rachel on Facebook, it always makes me wish we lived closer together. She is such a passionate Mother (one thing I love about Rachel, is she is truly passionate about everything she does). Rachel is determined to be the best Mom she can be and raise the best Children she can by being an intentional parent. Her answers to many of my questions caused me to look at things differently and gave me a new appreciation for things. I am confident that after reading Rachel’s story and answers, many are going to take away something new:

I'm Rachel Bevilacqua (yep, that one took me a couple weeks to learn how to spell). I've been married to an incredibly wonderful man, Joe, for just over 5 years. He's Italian and he can COOK! We have two girls - Natalie Chase is 4 1/2 and Emerson Kate is 4 months. We met in Florida where we were both living at the time, but after Natalie was born, we moved back to Alabama (where I grew up) to be nearer to my family. I teach 10th grade English in the same high school from which I graduated. In my spare time (otherwise known as the 5 minutes a day when no one is calling my name) I love reading, crafting, event planning, and graphic design. I tried being a stay at home mom for 2 years and it was the worst 2 years of my life. I love my daughters to death, but I have to work. I gave up the idea of being a SAHM in order to keep my sanity and decided instead to make "working mom" work for us. So far, it's been great!

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
I'm definitely not a scheduled mom, but I am a routine mom. We pretty much do things (meals, baths, outside play, naps, errands, etc.) in the same order every day but not always at the same time. I'm a planner, but by that I mean that I need a daily agenda or a to-do list. It would be way too stressful for me to try to keep myself and my 2 girls on a time schedule - probably because things always take a lot longer than I think they should.

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?

Natalie Chase

Maybe this question should say, "What aren't your pet peeves?" because I have quite a few. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a perfect parent. I get it wrong a lot. But some people just get it VERY wrong. My biggest mommy pet peeve would have to be irresponsible (or maybe even absent-minded) parents. I have to try very hard not to get angry when I see infants improperly fastened into a car seat (or worse - being held in someone's lap), or parents who open the car door then turn to walk across the parking lot without ever looking back to see if their child actually made it our of the car, or seeing a parent to absorbed in their shopping to notice that the little one is lagging several feet behind. There is no excuse for parents who don't care enough to pay attention to their child's safety.

Your funniest/most embarrassing “Mom/Child’ moment?

I so wanted to answer this question. I've tried for two days to come up with a good story. And... I've got nothing. I guess it's because 1) nothing my kids do really embarrasses me. Usually if there is a potentially embarrassing situation brewing (i.e. - a grocery store meltdown), I will quickly retreat to my car and we will ride out the tantrum there. And 2) Natalie is HILARIOUS! She has us laughing non-stop. But, that means all my funny moments sort of run together and I can't pick just one to tell. I'm sad that I can't really answer this one.

Emerson Kate

Do you have a secret “Mommy Confession”- something that you did/didn't do that you are willing to share?

This might have fit under the "mommy guilt" category, but I can't decide if I feel guilty about it or if I'm a genius for doing it. Saturday is my sleep in day and I will do everything in my power to keep it in tact. Fortunately, I have an infant who doesn't wake at all until about 8:45-9:00 each morning. Unfortunately, I have a four year old who wakes with the sun (or before). But, I have devised a plan to keep my Saturday morning sleep in time intact. On Friday nights, I fill a spill proof cup with milk, put a granola bar on the kitchen counter, and a Disney movie in the VCR (yep, I said VCR... thanks to my Nana, we own every Disney movie ever made on VHS). When Natalie wakes on Saturdays, she knows she can get the milk and granola bar and turn on her movie. She's not allowed to wake me until the movie is over unless there's an emergency. Most of the time it works beautifully!

What are your “non-negotiables” when it comes to your kids?

On occasion, I will ignore poor behavior (for example - whining or hyperactivity if they're extremely tired or bored, or we're in a public place where correcting them would cause a bigger scene), but I will never ignore disrespectful behavior - and, believe me, with a strong-willed 4 year old there's plenty of it. I guess being a high school teacher has given me plenty of examples of what happens when a child is not taught the correct and polite way to speak to adults. I am determined not to have bratty, disrespectful children. I want people to love my kids and enjoy being around them, not dread to see them coming.

What was your biggest fear when you found out you were going to be a Mom?

I think most expectant moms are afraid that they'll make mistakes, won't know what to do, and will be bad mothers. I didn't think that. I felt very confident from the beginning that I could be a great mom. My fear was that I didn't want to be. I had wholeheartedly decided years before that I didn't want children - I had a job I loved, had a dream of traveling, not being tied down, etc. So, when my now husband and I found out we were pregnant after dating for only 4 months (and only just beginning to talk about the possibility of marriage), it was like a slap in the face. I didn't want a child, I wasn't married, and even though I was 26 at the time, I felt like "that girl". You know the one - the one everyone secretly judges for getting pregnant before getting married even if they're smiling and supporting her to her face. But, we decided to "make the best of it" and casual talks of marriage quickly turned into wedding plans. I was 13 weeks pregnant on our wedding day, and, honestly, still getting to know my groom. The next few months were difficult as I came to terms with the fact that I was married, pregnant, and probably giving up a lot of my dreams. But, I did come to terms with it, embraced it even and decided that maybe being a wife and mommy wouldn't be so bad, but it wasn't until I was holding my minutes-old baby girl that I realized that not only could I do this and do it well, but that I'd been chosen, called by God to be a mom.

Do you have a funny “labor” moment?

With Natalie - I was in labor for 24 hours before having an emergency c-section because I had stopped dilating and she was becoming distressed. But, during the 24 hours of labor I wasn't in any real pain (thanks to an epidural), but no matter what I did, I couldn't get comfortable. Every time a nurse came in, I asked for a pillow for my back, legs, etc. I even sent Joe out into the hospital a few times to look for pillows. When the time came to move me to the OR for the c-section, the nurse started removing pillows from my bed and started laughing because they just kept coming. I had managed to shove 15 pillows in the bed with me during labor. My whole family still jokes about this almost 5 years later.

One thing that you do for your kids- because you love them- but you absolutely dread it every time?

Thanks to Netflix and a night of reminiscing, my wonderful, wishes-he-was-still-ten-years-old husband decided to introduce Natalie to the old 1980s Transformers cartoons. She LOVES them. I definitely do not! But, she begs me to watch them with her, and I do because she loves it so much. (Sometimes she makes me pretend to be "Momma-tron”, ugh!)

What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children that you have found yourself doing?

I swore that I would never let my kids (as infants) sleep in our bed, but as a baby/toddler Natalie was terrible sleeper and I was getting up 4-5 times a night just to settle her. After many sleepless nights, I decided it wasn't worth not sleeping just to say I didn't let my kids sleep with me. I finally chose to put her in our bed and when I did we both slept better.

I also said that my child would eat whatever I had prepared for dinner and that I would never fix a separate "kid" dinner. But... Joe works late so he and I usually eat dinner about 8pm most nights. Since I need to feed Natalie earlier than that, I usually let her choose what she wants for dinner.

Your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?

My biggest "aha" moment was when I realized that the parent isn't always right (even thought we'd like to think we are) and that when we mess up we need to apologize to our kids. I remember the first time I apologized to Natalie for losing my cool while disciplining her. She stared at me wide-eyed and mouth open...and then ran to me, buried her face in my chest and said "It's okay, Mommy. I'm sorry too." We're big on apologies and give them freely around here because we're human and we mess up, but we're also family, and we love each other anyway.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?

As a new mother you will get a lot of advice (all of it well-intentioned, most of it sound), but don't forget that your instincts as a mother are better than any piece of advice you get. You know your child better than anyone (even better than their pediatrician), so if something seems wrong, question it and if something you try doesn't work, change it. You don't need anyone else’s approval to do what you think is best for your child.

Also, I try to remember this when I get frustrated or impatient with my kiddos: Most of the time, a misbehaving child is a bored child.

Sandi: Superwoman at Her Best!

2012-07-02T09:55:00.001-07:00

It is time for a new Mom perspective from my friend, Sandi. Her perspective may be a bit different because she not only already has 3 beautiful girls out of the house, but she’s also a MeeMaw to 2 Grandsons and a 3^rd Grandbaby on the way.

Sandi was my first friend in Texas. The first time I arrived on the ministry grounds as Lupe’s fiancé, Sandi quickly introduced herself and then informed me she was taking me to breakfast the next morning. I pretty much fell in love with her from the start; we became immediate close friends and remain today. She is light hearted, funny, a great listener, and she matches my own dry sarcastic humor with her own.

As I went through hard times, Sandi listened to me and would advise me without ever judging me. While I was pregnant with Tenly, she would chauffer me to many of my doctor’s appointments and even stayed at the hospital with me at times. While pregnant with Gia, she would entertain and take care of Tenly when I was too sick to do much of anything. Pretty much she is a great friend who gave over and above without asking or expecting anything in return, it was just because she loved me.

Sandi loves people! She just knows how to love, listen and encourage. Sandi fills a room with her smile and she radiates happiness. She is quick to pray and/or quote a scripture to either help you or just because she wants to. This woman is so full of wisdom that I was excited for her to throw out a few things for others to read:

I am Sandra (or Sandi to many), a Wife, Mom, MeeMaw, and Ministry Leader. My husband, Joe and I, will be celebrating 34 years of marriage this July 1st and are more in love now than ever. We have 3 daughters, Monique 32, Josandi 30 and Grace 25, and are proud of each and every one. Our 2 grandsons RJ and Jonathan know us as Pawpaw and Meemaw, and there is 1 in the oven, due in October.

Joe and I have served as lay leaders in the ministry since we first accepted Jesus and now serve in a Texas bible school/Christian camp in the maintenance department. Joe's a cowboy at heart and the furniture he creates is kept in natural pine. I feel like we live in a Bonanza episode. We both love to garden, fish, Pinterest and FACEBOOK. Our secret dream is to someday visit Alaska and take a cruise.

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?

Unscheduled Mom. Benefits: spontaneity is possible. Downfalls: spontaneity with your husband alone is NOT.

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
When non-moms or strangers corrected my discipline methods, they don't know me or

My kids.

Your funniest/most embarrassing “Mom/Child’ moment?
When my 3 yr old answered the phone and told my Pastors wife, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now, she's in the bathroom making pooh-poohs.” I am still living that one down.

Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
Take more time to listen and understand what my kids were trying to tell me. I would make more time for my girls, daddy and me.
Did the way you were parented shape that way that you parent your own children?
Yes, I had nannies and both of my parents worked. Therefore, I decided to stay home with my babies and put aside buying a lot of the extra "stuff". My girls did grow up with less material things, but also had more sense than I did, as well as better people and job skills.
What are your “non-negotiables” when it comes to your kids?
My time is my time unless someone is about to die or has a fever.
What was your biggest fear when you found out you were going to be a Mom?
My biggest fear was being criticized by my mom. What if I never did anything right? I was right about that one though, I received a phone call every morning for several years telling me how to dress them, etc.
Do you have a funny “labor” moment?
Taking my sweet, gentle husband that was there to comfort me, and in my deepest demonic voice, threatened him "never do this to me again or I WILL KILL YOU SLOWLY!"
One thing that you do for your kids- because you love them- but you absolutely dread it every time!?

Going to the park or zoo...I HATE the Texas heat.
Do you have any regrets?

Letting others decide when/what/where/how our family time could take place, things like vacations and such.
Labor: With drugs or without drugs?

No drugs.... I’m superwoman, didn't you know that?
Your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?
When my 2^nd daughter was born, when I held her I knew I could love each of my babies as much as the other. Priceless.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to other Moms?

You loved your husband first, continue to keep your relationship fresh with him and don't allow yourself to make your babies your one and only. When they're grown, you and your honey may not have much in common anymore if you do not care for that relationship.

Joanne: "The Mommy Monster"

2012-06-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

Today, my friend Joanne agreed to share a bit of her story and wisdom with us. Joanne became one of my first friends in South Florida after I joined the Mom’s Bible Study she was leading at CCC. After a short amount of time, she gave me the opportunity to lead the study with her and also embraced me as a part of the Women’s Ministry Team. I loved the opportunity to learn along side other Mom’s and to help contribute, decorate and coordinate some of the events at church. It was an incredible outlet during our transition.

Joanne and I have become close friends in a short amount of time. One of the things I appreciate most about our friendship is that she has earned the right to speak into my life. She is not only a great listener and compassionate friend, but also loves me enough to give me loving correction if needed. Joanne’s heart is big and full of compassion; she is constantly looking for ways to grow in God and is never satisfied with the status quo. This is a woman with many hats: Wife, Mom, Business Owner, Ministry Assistant, Bible Study Leader, Decorator, Event Planner, and recently became a Blogger: "Confessions of A Dirty Christian Woman", that's only the beginning of her list.

Joanne’s journey to Mommyhood was not an easy one, and she never takes the title of “Mommy” for granted:

My name is Joanne Cuchel, I was born in Brooklyn, New York, but have lived in S. Florida since I was eight years old. Two years after high school graduation, I met my husband

Vincent, and we have been married for 16 years now.

Currently, I am a busy wife and mother of one six-year-old girl, Lexi, whom we adopted in Nov of 2008. Lexi is a very strong-willed child but just as amazing as she is strong-willed. She is so bright, so creative, and so funny too and she really keeps me on my toes!

My husband, Vincent and I, struggled to have a child of our own for many years until we decided to adopt. Our first adoption endeavor was to adopt a daughter from China. We anxiously filled out all the paperwork, went through all the grueling processes and then waited, and waited, and waited. After being on the "waiting list" for two years, we were told that due to the summer Olympics coming to China that summer, the Chinese officials

decided to place a hold on any further adoptions, because they didn't want the eyes of the world to see them as the world's largest exporter of baby girls. As a result we were told that it could be another 5 to 7 years until we go our daughter. Heartbroken but determined we chose to look at other adoption options.

We worked with a birth mother for several months but she decided to place her baby with another couple. It was then that we found out about Lexi through an estranged relative at the time, and the rest is history.

Recently, I took a job working part-time at my church. Additionally, I lead a bible study for Moms once a week during the school year. I also plan and decorate for our church's

women's ministry events, and help my husband run our video production company. In my spare time (insert laugh) I love to read, cook, and enjoy party planning and decorating our home.

In the future, Lord willing, I hope to become a Christian speaker and author.

Here are some of my experiences, lessons, and wisdom as a Mom:

A Funny/Embarrassing moment - There are sooooo many funny and embarrassing moments with Lexi. I would have to say a few weeks ago at church, I was talking to a woman I had just met in the ladies room when Lexi came over and told the woman that her Mommy has a fat belly but she's still pretty, just fat.

What would I do differently as a Mom is recognizing that when I first got Lexi, although she seemed older, she was just a two year old baby, and I would not have put such high expectations and demands on her. I wouldn't have been as hard on her or as crazy of a parent as I once was.

My Mommy confession is a character I invented named Mommy Monster. I would tell Lexi that it would possess my body and mind when Lexi was misbehaving and would threaten to eat daddy's brains, never bring back Mommy, and take Lexi to her secret hideaway filled with bugs and spiders and never bring her back if she wasn't good any more. Eventually, I confessed that she wasn’t real and mommy was pretending. I do feel really guilty about doing it…although Mommy Monster was quite effective!

The way I was parented did unfortunately shape how I parent. I find that I am my mother in too many situations...

My Non-negotiables - We are somewhat flexible but there are things that are absolutes like no dessert if you don't eat your dinner...etc.

My biggest fear - Lexi being adopted made me that I would not be able to love her as if she were my own. The answer I have found is absolutely yes!!!!

My secret addiction is reading to Lexi! I loooove to read to her and act out the characters. I hate to miss a night when I don't get to read a book, it's crazy but I'm kinda addicted to it....

One thing I do for my kid but dread doing it is confrontation. I have had to do it several times in the 4 short years as a mom.

Something I said I would never do, but do anywayis forcing my kid to eat- but I find myself doing it anyway.

My biggest mommy Aha moment - Once Lexi asked me if I could pray with her to ask God to clean up her room. I told her that God doesn't clean up our messes we have to do that for ourselves. It suddenly hit me that I also need to stop asking God to do that very same thing. Also every time she says she loves me is an “Aha Moment”.

Best piece of advice to other Mom’s would be to forgive yourself when you make a mistake and don't forget to ask your child to forgive you too.

Chelsey:"A REAL Housewife of Glenwood Springs"

2012-06-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

Chelsey, a wonderful Texas friend, was so kind to answer a few of my "Mommy Questions". It didn't surprise me at all that she had me laughing through many of her answers. Chelsey and I became Mom's around the same time while we were both on staff at the camp, and found comfort and many laughs with each other throughout some difficult times.
A great memory of Chelsey was when I went to the hospital to see her while she was in labor with her oldest, Aspen. The nurses directed me to her room without hesitation, so I was caught off guard when I walked in. I found her laughing and asking for food as I then had to walk past her legs hiked up and extended with Dr. Edwards down there stitching up "her stuff"- while over in the corner her husband, Michael, was holding perfect Aspen Rose. But, that's Chelsey!
Our girls, Tenly and Aspen, even had their ears pierced together with our friend Kim's little girl, Bella. Because Tenly was about 16 months old, I was terrified to do it, so Chelsey and Kim held her to have them done. Wouldn't it figure that she didn't even cry, I totally underestimated that kid.
Chelsey has always been a very understanding friend who could always make me laugh in the right moments, and keeps me "grounded". It was a sad and happy day when they drove all of their belongings off of the camp road to start their new life in Colorado. But, it has been wonderful to see all the dreams they are experiencing together as a family.
Here are some of Chelsey's insights and experiences as a Mom:

Ears Pierced: Chels & Aspen, Me & Tenly, Kim & Bella

My name is Chelsey and my husband, Michael, and I are originally from Texas, and we moved to Glenwood Springs, Colorado in 2008. We had our daughter, Aspen, in August 2007 and our son, Gunnison, in August 2010. We have been married for 6 years and love living in Glenwood Springs. First, because it's so beautiful here. Second, There's so much to do! We love to hike, bike, swim, tube the Colorado, fish, hunt and many other things! We can do every single one of those things in our own town; we're on a permanent vacation!
Scheduled or Unscheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
The only schedule that we keep is going to church every Sunday morning. I like my kids to fly by the seat of their diapers! I don't keep my kids on such a strict schedule that it can never be broken and the poop hit's the fan. We do eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and take naps around the same time everyday. Keeping the schedule a little loose allows my kids to be flexible in any situation. Man, when Aspen starts school it's gonna rock my world!
What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
My biggest pet peeve is when I see other parents allowing their children to pretty much do whatever they want with no consequence. Like throwing fits in the store, kids not sitting down in shopping carts, running amuck in public places, disrespecting authority, etc. Parents need to stop trying to be their kids friend and start acting like a parent. People wonder why so many teenagers these days are disrespectful and rebellious.

Your funniest/most embarrassing "Mom/Child Moment"?
We were in Khol's and my daughter all of a sudden throws up all over herself in her stroller (always keep a spare set of clothes even after potty training- you never know). I had to take her all the way across the store to the bathroom to get her cleaned up. I passed a woman and she gave me the ugliest face when she saw my daughter. I almost told her to take a picture so it'll last longer, but I didn't! It's not like I fed her ipecac so that I would know what it felt like to get myself into strange social situations, it just happens!
Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
As a Mom, I am continually learning to have more patience. I'm sure that's every mom, though. My daughter is very strong willed and she knows how to push all my buttons. I love my daughter, but there are many times when I dislike her behavior and I am hoping that when she gets older, she'll use that trait to her advantage. There will be no stopping her and the goals she can achieve. But, in the meantime, she can be extremely hard to deal with!
Did the way you were parented shape the way that you parent your own children?
I think the biggest impact my parents had on me was the way they interacted in their own marriage. They didn't talk about things very much and never seemed to be on the same page. I always told myself that my marriage would be different, and it is. I believe that you need to have a strong marriage before you even think about bringing children into the world.
I had a pretty great childhood, actually. Both of my parents worked, so I was a daycare kid from the age of 6 months to 12 years. During the summers I was able to go on all types of field trips and things, so I did get to experience more things than what my parents could have ever done on their own.
So, Mom's who must place their children in childcare- don't fret over the thought of leaving your kids with someone else all the time, kids learn a lot form interacting with other people an they'll make a lot of friends.
Did you breastfeed? Did you feel pressured to/not to?
I breastfed both of my kids and I plan to breastfeed the other children that we plan to have. It's kind of funny that with my daughter, I breastfed her until she was 4 months old and had to stop because I stopped producing. So, with my son I was bound and determined to not let that happen again. My goal wa to make it to 6 months and then go from there. When he was 3 months old, I got kind of tired of breastfeeding since it became more of a hassle (it was more difficult being out and about more), so that's when I weaned him.
I never did feel pressured, but I did want them to have a good strong start. I'm all for breastfeeding, but would NEVER pressure a mom/new mom to do it. I would certainly want them to know all the facts about breastfeeding vs. formula before making a decision. New Mom's have plenty of worries without others adding their expectations- support is the best thing to give to a new Mom.
Do you have a funny "labor" moment?
When I was in labor with Aspen, I had to push for over an hour! My husband was on my right side holding up my head, and then right in the middle of a big push his elbow hit the button to lower the bed (it happened more than once!). Everyone jumping asking, "What just happened?" It is funny to think of now, but not then!
When I was in labor with Gunnison, because of how long I had to push with Aspen, my husband thought it necessary to pull up a stool to sit on so he could be comfortable, too! TOO??! There was no TOO- I was in no way, shape or form comfortable!
They checked my cervix when I was at 6, so the OB went to take a nap (8:30am) while I was transitioning. I started to feel a lot of pressure and the urge to push, when they checked me I was at 10 (9am). They made me wait to push until they were able to get my OB in the room! I had to "hold him in" for 30 minutes waiting for the doctor- my son was born at 9:42am! I was NOT comfortable!
What is your "secret" addiction or obsession?
I guess I feel like I don't have enough drama in my life, so I watch all of "The Real Housewives.." shows on Bravo..New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, New York, etc! I definitely get my drama fix!
One thing that you do for your kids, because you love them, but you absolutely dread doing it?
Brushing their teeth! I know, it's sad, isn't it? But, my husband dreads it, too! I cannot wait for the day when they can brush their teeth on their own, but until then, it's a necessary evil.
What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children, which you find yourself doing?
I always said that I would NEVER let my kids drink soda. My daughter is almost 5, and I only allow her to drink clear sodas with no caffeine. My son is almost 2, and he can only have lemonade. My kids drink water, milk, and 100% fruit juice most of the time, but soda and lemonade is something they only get on occasion.
Labor: with drugs or without drugs?
I had epidurals with both of my kids and I plan to continue to do so for my future deliveries. I'm all for women who choose to go all natural...they're more "woman" than I am! HaHa!
What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?
Some new Mom's know their limitations and want/need help while others are gung-ho "I'm gonna do this without any help" Moms. Please know that there's no shame in asking for help and advice. Don't try to be Super Mom because you'll run yourself ragged trying to do so. Being a Super Mom comes with time, practice, and a full nights sleep (in other words, almost impossible)!

A Real Mom, Living In The Moment: Martha

2012-06-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce a college friend, and my cousin, Martha Vasquez Sosa. Although, Martha is my cousin, I did not have the opportunity to really know her until she began going to college at SEU with me (we come from an extremely large family). She has such an incredible heart; it is easy to fall in love with her almost instantly. Martha was even so kind to grace us with her talent by playing her viola is I walked down the aisle on my wedding day. She has, on more than one occasion, encouraged me and given me advice on ways to encourage and teach my children at home. Martha is one of those teachers who teach out of her passion for children and not the paycheck……

Martha: I’m a proud wife, mother to two beautiful boys, and 3^rd grade teacher in central Florida. I play viola in a string quartet. I love word games like Scrabble and Words with Friends, and I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADD and I’m finding my groove.

I haven’t always been okay. Years of counseling and prayer have helped transform me from an abused, depressed child into a somewhat productive, pseudo-normal person.

I grew up in a multi-family setting and moved at least twice a year. With so much instability, school became my safe haven. I poured all my energy into school and was desperate for the encouragement and affection my teachers gave me. Music was my outlet, and I was blessed with music scholarships to fund my college education. God made a way—and here I am married to the kindest man on the Earth, raising 2 precious boys, with the job I've always wanted.

I’ve embraced my past. It’s mine. It formed me and prepared me for the little lives I teach every day. I learned first-hand what NOT to do--and the life altering impact adults can have in the lives of children. I also learned God’s will is perfect and His grace is sufficient.

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
I'm a proud unscheduled mom! Learning and beauty are found in spontaneous moments and organic living. Yes, for sanity's sake, we have a time to eat and a time to go to bed, but the rest of the day holds a loose "bucket list" of things that need to be accomplished as we get to them. Sticking to a schedule is more stressful--so much my consciousness is focused on the schedule, that I'm unable to enjoy the moments, discoveries and laughs with my kids. It's like a child struggling to sound out words in a story...the decoding is so labored that at the end of the story, he doesn't know what he just read. I never want to allow what is "supposed" to happen steal away the magical moments with my boys.

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
My biggest mommy pet peeve: parents who do not parent; parents that expect the teachers to teach hygiene, manners, character, etc. It breaks my heart that, on more than one occasion, I've had to actually teach a 2nd grader how to set his/her alarm, how to set out clothes for the next day, how to bathe at night (even if you don't want to), and to put on CLEAN clothes after he/she gets out of the tub, how to make breakfast for themselves and younger siblings and how important it was to make it to the bus stop on time..."yes, honey, I know mommy and daddy are still sleeping, but I'm counting on you to be responsible enough to get yourself clean, dressed and ready for school." ::heartbreaking:: But kids will rise to the occasion. Every time.

Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
One thing I would do differently as a mom was journal. Daily from the time I found out I was pregnant. I wish I could recount each day with my boys and know the smallest, meaningless milestones...alas...

Did the way you were parented shape that way that you parent your own children? How?

Yes, my parents shaped the way I parent. My dad was in prison most of my childhood and my mom was dealing with her own issues and finding the answers at the bottom of a bottle. I actually made a list of qualities that I would/would not replicate. My dad has a strong work ethic, my mom snuggled with us everyday, my dad is hilarious, and my mom is frugal... I observed not only my parents, but also my youth pastors, pastors, my friends parents, etc. I took notes, prayed and asked for wisdom. I knew I'd never be a perfect mother, but I did want to be a thoughtful, prayerful mother. I wanted to act and speak with purpose.

What is your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?

My biggest mommy "aha" moment was realizing that these tiny little people have enormous personalities, complete with their own decision making skills (irrational 2 year olds) and an agenda carved in stone. All those times I said, "My kids will never __________" came flooding back to me.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?

The best piece of advice I would give to a new mother would be this: Don't compare. Don't compare yourself with other moms. They are crying and confused sometimes, too. Don't compare your baby with other babies. Each miracle is perfectly crafted with God's hands and desperately needs prayerful, wise parents to prepare him for the purpose God created him. Embrace the tearful moments. And if you're exhausted, you're doing something right. Having a child has cemented all I've known about God's character, selfless love, patience, and beauty...

Oh, The Mess!

2012-06-24T09:09:00.002-07:00

The "play-date" mess picture I posted.

The other day, my girls had their friends Lexi and Audrey come over for a play-date after Kidz Camp at church. They were beyond excited, I was going over the list of rules which the four of them agreed to with pleasure!
At the end of the play date, I posted a picture on Facebook of the "damage" our little apartment suffered at the hands of four little girls "creativity". I was honestly a bit shocked at many of my friends reaction to the picture...but, let me back up for a minute...

When my girls were much younger, they frequently made a huge mess- much bigger than the other day. My friend, Annette (who has children the same age as mine), shared with me an article she had read that encouraged parents to allow a modge podge (not to enforce the "one thing out at a time" rule) of all different toys to be played with at the same time because it fosters creativity. After thinking about it, I totally agreed and embraced the huge mess of toys that began to encompass my house daily. My Mom to this day says she was always so proud- and shocked- of my allowing this to happen.

I didn't mind the mess as long as it came with the understanding that they would also clean it up. When they were younger, I of course would help clean it up- but insisted they be right along side me doing it. As they were older, I naturally expected them to do more with less enforcement. Well, let's just say as I starting getting more resistance instead of compliance- I drew the line! I was all for creativity, but not at my expense and sanity every day!

Yes, I am one of "those Mom's" who insists that everything is put away in it's proper place before anyone is in bed every day. Yes, I even pull them out of bed if it's not done right. My girls are at the age that I do expect them to care for, take care of, and put away there things in an orderly fashion. So, we now implement the "only one thing out at a time" rule. They actually have grown to appreciate it now, because it only takes them minutes to clean up instead of an hour (with constant reminders of "clean up", "get busy", and "you only have 5 minutes left" in their ear). I do have the same expectations of myself, I do not get into bed until everything is cleaned up and put away- neither does Lupe (poor man, lol).
So, back to my picture the other day. I had a few people comment on the picture "that's nothing" or "that's how my house looks every day"- which gave me a little laugh. The next day, I was speaking to my friends Joanne and Joelle- I had an "aha" moment which I feel kind of stupid about, lol.

They were both telling me how they laughed at the picture also because, "that's nothing" they said. Apparently, I am not grouped in the group of "typical Mom's with typical expectations". They informed me that there are times they cannot even walk in their kids bedrooms because of all the stuff everywhere, it is common to wake up to a sink full of dishes, it is common to leave the house with unmade beds, etc.
Don't get me wrong, I knew that there were Mom's who went day to day like this- but I really didn't realize that it was more the norm than what my "norm" is. I asked other Mom's later that day how they ran there households and what there expectations were. There were a couple who were like me, some fell in between, but 7 Mom's out of the 11 I asked were more laid back like my friends, Joanne and Joelle.

Not that one is right or one is wrong. Sometimes I wish I could just roll with the punches and make other things the priority- but I just can't do it! I do realize it all comes down to balance, my friends tell me they wish they could be more like me as I am wishing I could be a little more like them.
I say all of that to say this: So, many things are a matter of perspective, awareness, and a willingness to learn and change. This silly little "Aha Moment" I had,has made me want to reach out to others for their perspective because I have a willingness to learn and perhaps make changes. I have some Mom's who have so graciously told their stories and answered questions. It has been so intriguing to see other points of view. I will be honest, there are are certain idea's that I firmly believe in as a Mom- well, reading about a different perspective on those ideas, I now understand much better why Mom's choose to be that way.

I remember when all of Tenly's toys fit in this box!

I hope you enjoy reading and learning from other Mom's, as I know I will, over the next few weeks.

The Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make

2012-06-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

What come to mind when you think about the most important decisions you will ever make?
When talking to various people, and researching what others consider to be "Life's Most Important Decisions", majority gave several of the same answers:
- Whom you will marry.
- Religion.
- Your career.
- Where to further your education.
- How many children you will have.

- Where you will live.

I absolutely agree with this list. Of course, "religion" moves to number 1 with me- and it goes beyond just "religion"- but rather a choice to invite Jesus into your life to be your Lord and Savior. There is no question, that this is the most important decision one will ever make, it effects the quality of your life today, tomorrow, and in the "hereafter"- and every other decision you will ever make.
There is a decision that Lupe and I had to make recently that is not on this list. To be honest, I am not that surprised that it wasn't listed or said- but Lupe and I both agree (as I'm sure many others would) that it is an extremely important decision that should never be taken lightly.

The Church you choose to attend.

I honestly believe this is one of the most important decisions one will make. The Bible tells us many times how important it is to surround ourselves with other believers (Heb 10:25) and to use our gifts within the body of Christ to minister to others (1 Cor 12:7).
The church you commit yourself and family to should provide a place of rest and refuge when you are facing pressures and temptations, a place of encouragement when you are down and out, a place of hope and help when you are in need, a place of learning and instruction to help you become the person God wants you to be, and a place to find lifelong relationships with people that can love and befriend you. Nothing is more precious and valuable and fulfilling than to worship the Lord with fellow Christians, to see your children brought up in learning about Jesus, to spend your time doing things that will count for eternity.

Lupe and I found a great "fit" at Community Christian Church when we first moved to South Florida. A few things we loved about this church is how approachable and caring the pastoral staff was- especially for such a large church. CCC has MANY opportunities to be involved, from Bible Studies, Women's Ministry, Children's Ministry, and the numerous outreaches to the community. They truly love people. I think that was Lupe, our children, and I needed most at that time, just to sit back and be loved on and accepted. We were not just a number, we had a name and the staff made it a point to know us and love on us.

Recently, Lupe and I both started feeling like it may be time for something new, something more. We were happy at CCC, but there was something pulling at us. One day at work, Lupe was connected to someone who gave him a card introducing him to Save The Nations Church. That card laid on our desk for a couple of weeks, finally one day I went to their website and was intrigued by what I saw- we decided to visit.
The service at STN was wonderful, we walked in feeling the tangible presence of God and left feeling challenged in our spiritual walk. I'll be honest- it would of been easier if we wouldn't of liked it. It would of been easier just to stay where we were- NOT to make a change.

We new God was bringing a change- and as difficult as that can be- it comes with MANY benefits to be in His perfect will. A few weeks ago, we both felt God had released us from CCC after my commitments to the Women's Ministry were fulfilled.
PEACE! We are so at peace with our decision, and the Pastoral staff at CCC were so loving as we let them know we were making a move. We are excited- and a bit nervous- to begin at Save the Nations Church. I can't wait to see what God has for us next.

At 7, A Journey to Forever..

2012-05-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful opportunity to brag on my incredible husband of now 7 years! Lupe and I were friends over 10 years when we finally started "dating"- well I guess you can call it that! I went to Bible School in Texas back in 1995- THAT is when Lupe and I met. We were very good friends, and after I graduated in 1997, we kind of lost touch. We did speak or see each other when I would visit occasionally- but that was it- considering he was in Texas and I in Florida, we drifted apart.

One afternoon, we began chatting while online- he is an extremely slow typist- so he asked for my # to call me later. Well, he did call me and we talked every day from then until the day, 3 months later, that he flew to Florida to visit (the pic below). Before Lupe left to head back to Texas 3 days later, he proposed and I said an enthusiastic, YES!

Our first "Official" date. AND, he proposed before he left.

We began making wedding plans for a year later in Florida.

Our Engagement pictures in front of the home we began our marriage and family.

Our wedding day was spectacular. I will be honest, things did go wrong- and things were not done as I would of preferred them to be in some instances- which is difficult for a control freak as myself. BUT, I remember very well on THAT day. I wasn't really frazzled by it. I was to excited to be getting married to the love of my life. As much as I would of preferred everything to look exactly as I planned, I was too focused on Lupe and I "beginning" to worry about details. If it was done- great, it it wasn't- oh well, but one thing I was sure of is how much I loved that man.

I remember thinking how CRAZY we were for planning an outdoor wedding in Florida in May- it seemed like a great idea until that day! What was going on underneath all of those layers of that wedding dress is not even describable- let's just say I was sweating pretty intensely. I have pictures of my bridesmaids holding up my dress fanning me!

One of my favorite pictures! He caught me completely off guard! I love him!

Best Day EVER, May 21, 2005.

Lupe surprised me with a trip to the Kemah Boardwalk and we stayed in their Inn- it was such an incredible getaway after Summer Camp was over! Not to mention, I love a good surprise!

We had just found out we were pregnant with Tenly. I think I'm hiding being "sick as a dog" pretty well. When this dress was first fitted to me, it looked great, by the time of the event I had lost 20 pounds- it was comfy!

Lupe surprised me for our First Anniversary dinner at my Favorite steakhouse- Taste of Texas-, with Ben & Ashton. I was 8 months pregnant and puked for over 20 minutes in the restroom- but it was worth it for that delicious steak and desert!

2 weeks away from Tenly's arrival!

2 Christmas Banquet Pictures. I was 8 months pregnant with Gianna in my "Barney" dress.

I remember one Anniversary in particular, it was either 3 or 4. Lupe and I do like to surprise each other, but I rarely have the opportunity. On this Anniversary, I decided I was going to do the surprising. I arranged for a friend to come to the house at like 4:30am, I woke Lupe up and told him he had 20 minutes to get dressed and get in the car. Yes, he was very taken off guard and looked more not happy than happy with my surprise. While dating, we would do just that- he would call me and tell me to get dressed and we would head to IHOP- "our place"- we'd stay for hours just being together. When we finally arrived in Houston, he was very pleased (and tired) as we pulled up to "our place". We followed our yummy breakfast with a favorite past time- yard saling and grocery shopping (really!). About 20 minutes after we arrived home, a couple of friends showed unexpectedly (to me), that's when Lupe informed me that I now had 45 minutes to get dressed up for a surprise he had for me. It took all of them to convince me he was not kidding, Lupe had tickets to a dinner theater to surprise me with. It was a wonderful and very long day! We are no longer allowed to surprise each other without notifying the other that a surprise is coming. LOL!

Off to Celebrate Valentines Day....without our children!!

Date Night on Clearwater Beach, great vacation!

Lupe surprised me AGAIN, with not only a date DAY, he even lined up the childcare for the afternoon.

We had the opportunity to go back and visit where we were married, Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa, FL.

Los Olas Beach in Fort Lauderdale.

Oh, how I love this man! I love more today than yesterday, and more and more with every tomorrow. So glad I am so blessed to spend FOREVER with him!

The Cry of My Heart..

2012-05-18T10:25:00.001-07:00

I am a huge fan of Ann Voskamp. I just took the opportunity to read her post The Happy Mom Manifesto. Although, it is titled for "Mom's"- this is something that should be at the heart of every person.

As I have been writing this blog at about a year, I went back and reread many of my posts. I read all the way back to a wonderful and most difficult move from Texas and the process my heart had to go through in turn. As I read down memory lane, I was proud of the lessons I have learned, the kicks in the butt that made me better. It brought me joy to see I finally forgave in many instances, and I was eventually happy I did, lol. There was so much satisfaction at the walls I had torn down, the barriers I had put up, and I- at 30+ years old- was finally learning to take correction and be chiseled. I am stronger, I am better, I am (more) stable, I am trusting, and I am (always) still evolving.

Back to Ann's Post. As I am this journey to continue "Finding Myself" and my purpose, this post, The Happy Mom Manifesto, seemed to package what my hearts cry is.

I encourage you to follow the links to the post and Ann's site of incredible, candid encouragement and knowledge- I am going to post it here. I hope your heart is touched as mine was.

The Happy Mom Manifesto

1. The only thing that has to be written in stone is when to pray.

Because it’s not schedules, busyness, or deadlines that keep one from prayer. The only thing stopping one from praying is self. {Excuse-making can be a cheap cover for idolatry.}
If one’s not praying regularly, it’s only because something else is regularly loved more than God.

2. Even if everything goes wrong, love is always right. There is ridiculous hope in this.

3. Whenever you want to throw your hands up, throw them around someone instead. Holding someone always helps holds things together.

4. God didn’t put people in your path mostly for your convenience; He put you there for theirs. This is a wonder and a grace.

5. Why be afraid of anything — when our God is using everything?

6. Pick flowers. Pick grace. Choose joy.

7. This is always a choice: You can erupt — or pluck. You can be an Erupter — or a Plucker. You can choose.

8. Be radical about grace and relentless about truth and resolute about the real hills worth dying on.

9. Say yes to one game every day and laugh loud. No empty-nest mama looks around and wishes she did one more load of laundry.

10. Happiness isn’t when the house is perfect. Happiness is when His Word and your walk are in harmony.

11. And every happy homemaker knows that the secret to real homemaking is not about making perfection. Home-making is about making a home.
A perfect home may not at all be a neat as a pin home. The point is not a house as neat as a pin or Pinterest pinnable.The point is a house pinned together with sacrifice and Christ and love that can withstand any winds.

12. Unplug often to get refreshed. You’ll see your true self when you look for your reflection in the eyes of souls not the glare of screens.

13. Make yourself a roof.
Love bears all things and it reads stego in the Greek — literally a thatch roof. Love means you bend your life into a roof and take the rain and the wind and absorb all that might come a beating.

14. The only life worth living is a scandalous one: scandalous love, offensive mercy, foolish faith. Let joy live loud in your soul.

15. Only Speak Words that make Souls Stronger.

Confessions of a Lazy Parent...

2012-04-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

Regardless of my body's protest, I woke up early this morning to face the decision I adamantly made last night. I have been making comments for about a week that it needed to happen, my family all heard my series of rants loud and clear...although they didn't really acknowledge them or agreed with them.

My family, including myself, is in a very unhealthy relationship.... with the television. I feel like I (more than Lupe, because I am home with the girls the most) have nurtured and allowed this relationship that I have always said would NEVER happen in my home.

I am not sure why Tenly's lazy refusal to read last night is what finally broke me, but it did.

Tenly did not even know that children's shows really even existed much until she was about 2 years old. I welcomed the "help" of the black box after Gianna was born, there were moments that I embraced the convenient baby sitter as if my long lost friend. Therefore, Gianna has almost always been aware of the TV.

I was still cautious about how much they were around and exposed to it. Also, closely monitoring what they watched (FYI: Just because it is a cartoon does not make it appropriate for a child.). Regardless of my intentions, over the years I find that "distraction" in our home WAY to much!

How I, we, ended up here I am not quite sure. It would be convenient to blame it on my children or my husband. But, since my kids only do what I allow, and I am home with the kids way more than my husband- I have to take full responsibility.

The reality is, I have become a Lazy Parent and conveniently hired Nick JR, Disney JR, and Sprout to babysit way to often. There is no getting around the convenience and ease of having these "babysitters" at our remote fingertips- but we parents also know that it doesn't make it right.

I am embarrassed that I have dreadfully become "....one of those...", the thing I always said would NEVER happen. I declared, proudly, that my kids would always be surrounded by books, puzzles, crafts, games and a parent sitting by doting on their every word and action.

To clarify, Tenly and Gianna are not glued to the TV- their imaginations are to big and energy to robust for that. But, they are in front of it way to much. They both LOVE reading books and doing puzzles and crafts and cooking- why aren't I capitalizing on that? Because somewhere along the line, it's become to much work- that is shameful.

Several months ago, Lupe and I found much of our time together was spent catching up on DVR. To help, we removed the TV from our bedroom (some are shocked we had one in there, and some are shocked that someone can live without a TV in the bedroom) and are so glad we did. We do not allow a TV in the girls room- and never will-so, in a way it was a double standard. But, although that helped, I (Lupe may disagree, lol) still feel like we should be able to function without the invasive 3rd party. My friends, Annette and Bobby, in Texas made a change not to long ago to benefit their family (they have 3 beautiful children). They "cut the cable" and eliminated TV from their home, and the results are more reading and family time- not such a bad thing! I have some friends in this area who only allow an occasional movie or DVD, and they and their children have lived to tell the tale, lol!

Today, when Tenly arrives home from school, I am going to apologize to both of my girls for being a lazy mom and allowing the television to steal our moments from us. The excitement of the many things we can do that are so much better to fill the void is hopefully going to spark them. I am a much better parent than this and am fully capable of caring for my children without allowing "that thing" to be constantly interfering.

We are not cutting the cable or getting rid of the TV, but it will have specific times of when it will and will not be watched. Our family time will be filled with fun and entertaining each other instead of depending on the black box to fulfill our every need. I am going to press for "No TV Monday's", on this day the TV will not go on at all.

Funny enough, today (and all week) it is suppose to be raining ALL DAY! Talk about getting creative! We've made it through with making collages, doing puzzles, dancing, reading many books, and a little cooking. Although, Gianna is losing patience with me typing at this computer, so it's time to wrap it up.

LAZY- I despite that word and hate it associated with me. So, the change begins- it is going to take work and probably hearing some whining along the path- but it will be worth it. Taking responsibility and making a change, I believe it is one my girls will thank me for one day......well, it better be!

Me + New Project= Accountability......

2012-04-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

I have been avoiding writing this post. As I am finding myself heading in a new, scary, unknown direction, it is time for me to write about it. The only problem is, my fear of failure. There are not very many people who know about my little project I've been working on- and that has been comforting. If people do not know about it, I will only be considered a failure to myself and a few others IF I do not succeed. On the other hand, if I put myself out there and let everyone know what I'm doing- I am able to accept encouragement, advice, and am allowing to be accountable when the times get rough and I'm discouraged. Is the possibility there that I wont be successful? Sure. Is the possibility there that I will be successful? Sure.

The things that roll through my mind are questions like: What if people laugh at me for even considering such a task? What if no one believes in me? What if I do all this work with NO success? Am I even able to take on something this big? What if everyone I approach rolls their eyes at me? What if no one helps? What if no one cares? What if this really is a stupid idea and I can't see it and no one tells me??????? The list goes on....

The part that excites me, is that despite those and other questions- I am going to do it anyway.

For the past 6 weeks or so, I have begun writing a book. Now, let me clarify- not any type of story or anything like that (that truly terrifies me)- but a resource guide. What type of resource guide? I'm so glad you asked!A resource guide for Moms in the South Florida area. Listing everything "Mom's"- from freebies, activities, parks (did you know there about 500+ parks in Broward County alone!), schools, home schooling, mom groups, sports leagues, links, education, etc.

When we moved to this area, I looked for a resource such as this to help us adapt to our new home and area- and didn't really find anything. Thank God I found myself in a Mom's Group at Community Christian Church where the other Mom's were able to recommend doctors, parks, and many things to do in the community and surrounding areas.

Within the last 6 weeks of research, I have discovered SO much stuff in the South Florida area that I am excited to try out and tell other moms in the about.

The literary field is very intimidating and the more I learn, the more intimidated I get- kind of like a Chihuahua being stared down by a Bull Dog. The only thing that qualifies me for this task I am taking on is being a Mom- although that in itself is a lot of qualifications, it still leaves me feeling like I'm drowning and overwhelmed at times.

A wonderful friend gave me some great ideas on some ways to gather more information and put it out there. So, I am going to be starting another blog (as soon as I have an afternoon to get the many pieces together) to tell people about all these wonderful paces I am discovering and laying the ground work to compile the information into a great resource guide.

I am going to ask a HUGE favor....I need everyone possible to follow this blog- even if you don't read it much- pass it along to others after you sign up to follow it! It would really help me as I begin the process of developing a proposal to contact/speak to literary agents and publishers. Please keep your eyes out for the new upcoming "mom blog"- I need you to follow that one, too!!! That's right, I'm resorting to begging.

This blog is going to be changing a bit- I really want to begin telling the stories of other moms and women out there to have a variety of perspectives on many things. So, if you have something that be relevant to another mom or family- message me. I have a whole list of mom's already who I am going to be contacting to give perspectives on things!

Hold me Accountable- I need you to! I can do this- with God's help, and I am going to try my absolute hardest.

Random Happenings of Late and Peace

2012-04-13T15:59:00.002-07:00

I'm feeling just a tad guilty for not blogging in some time- it has not been intentional and at the forefront of my mind. I have mentioned before that I do not write a post for the sake of just writing one, I always want there to be a purpose behind what I write- sometimes it's to help me, sometimes it may be something I think could help another and sometimes both. Well, every time I've sat down to attempt a new post, I had nothing. So, I've waited and now here I am.My mind, my spirit, my thoughts, ME- are in a good place. I wake up in the mornings to peace. To many that may not be such a big deal. But after the roller coaster my family has been on within the past 18 months, peace is welcomed, adored, and embraced. Mind you, the past week has been a little crazy.

After I was not able to attend a dear friends wedding at the last minute (that I was bummed about), but we decided we would go ahead with the already planned trip to Clearwater to visit with my parents over Easter weekend. We went sight seeing, had lunch with cupcakes and ice cream before Lupe had to head home to work and we stayed to finish out the holiday. Swimming, Easter egg hunts, Easter dresses, Easter baskets, church Easter celebration, and a sick little girl. On Saturday afternoon while we were swimming, Tenly began feeling yucky and we later discovered a high fever. After a couple of days we had a nasty cough to match the fever that she then shared with her sister. After missing 3 days of school, it looked like she was doing well enough to return the next day. That is, until she was up all night coughing and the fever returned the next day. Yesterdays doctors appointment revealed a double ear infection and bronchitis- YUCK!

Gia is still recovering but both are finally doing better. (Dreading a whole weeks worth of makeup work)

In the midst of that, another infection showed up on my right chin (total count now is 5 infections). This one was minor in comparison to the others and is already disappearing and I am thankful. Also, Yesterday, Lupe had some dental work done. After the feeling returned to his face, he was instructed to take 4 Motrin to ease any discomfort. So, at around 5:00pm he did just that- it wasn't until he couldn't keep his eyes open that we realized he had taken 4 Motrin PM's! Needless to say, he was out for the night. Not that it adds anything to this story, except it was quite funny! The whole family is currently on some type of antibiotics for something. Now just to make sure we take the right ones, lol! (Lupe is no longer allowed to manage or buy medications)

"You POOR thing..." has been said to me regarding the craziness of the last week. I found myself very frustrated by these comments- this is nothing! I was not sharing the situations for pity, but just to communicate a typical wife/mom's events of the day. I guess I needed, or wanted, to hear how great everything seemed inspite of the very small curve ball thrown at us. Don't feel sorry for me, come on- in comparison to all the other junk- this is nothing! We got this, God's got this! It kind of makes me laugh now, because we are just the opposite place of that- we are in complete peace. Not that I do not appreciate concern, I guess it just hit me the wrong way.

We are finding our family at a bit of a crossroads having to make an important decision (I can't go into details YET). As Lupe and I were talking last night (before Lupe drugged himself to sleep), we were discussing options and how we felt directed in the situation. My heart was overwhelmed and thankful as Lupe put his arms around me, and as the man God has placed over this family, began to pray for clear direction in the situation. At that moment, once again, we were engulfed in God's peace knowing He was in control and everything would come together in His timing.

I have also taken on a project that I am both elated and terrified of! I'm not at a point of sharing yet (is that just mean??), but know I will in due time. Just pray that God will open the doors that need to open, I would have divine appointments and direction, and that I will not be controlled by fear of the unknown.

Failure

2012-03-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

I have let that word control me way to much, "Failure".

Of course, being me, I analyzed it (many times) trying to figure out why I am controlled by a fear of failing. I believe I discovered one of the main reasons it is so hard for me take a chance.

Now, I have always been eager to please, always searching for approval, when you add a situation is viewed as a "fail"- the result is quite a handicap.

Back in 1992 is what I have allowed to haunt and control me. I was in my Junior year of High School, and I had worked very hard that year to pull my GPA up (I had been a lazy student prior). The second part of my Junior year became difficult- at home and church. I pretty much sunk into a depression because of some very difficult situations my whole family- especially my parents, were facing. I have always taken it upon myself to protect my parents, it's kind of comical that I've done that. So, as I watched my parents crushed and crying on every turn- I took it very personally and allowed myself to carry it. Then, after a visit to the dentist, I had an allergic reaction to Demerol. They could not wake me up, after I finally did- I passed out and went into a seizure. They would not allow me back at school without a clearance from the doctor.

Well, these things combined caused me to miss to many days of school (14 days)- which we had to appeal- and were denied (which meant I had to repeat the 11th grade). I remember reading that letter, I sat down and just cried- and then I gave up. It was like I didn't have any more fight left in me- and my parents didn't either. I was so angry, my grades may not have always been the best- but they were that year, and I had never even had a detention or anything. I told my parents I wanted to drop out and get my GED. After many discussions, they agreed- I was pretty adamant and I don't think my parents had it in them to "combat" me.

The hardest part then was, I was terrified to get my GED- what if I didn't pass? I was a pretty good student, but I had to work very hard for my grades- and me and math absolutely did NOT get along. It took me 3 years to finally take that test- which I did pass.

I was 20 years old before I finally got my drivers license. I drove without a license all of that time. Why? I just new I would not pass and could not face that. One day, my friend Jimmy came into my office at work and told me that the following week I was going to take my driving test in his car so we better start practicing. Well, we did and I walked away with my license that day. I was honestly shocked that I passed the test- I really was!

There are so many times that I want to offer advice or give an idea, but am paralyzed that people will think I am stupid. Sometimes I take the chance, but mostly I feel, "..why bother, they aren't going to think it's any good?" I know I am talented in certain area's, but what if I am the only one who thinks so, while everyone else out there feels bad "for the girl who thinks she has talent, but really doesn't".

I became very sick many years ago, as I finally began to recover I took it as the perfect opportunity to go to college- something else I had so desperately wanted but was very fearful of. I really enjoyed it, except for being reminded of how bad I was at math/science, I mean bad- really bad! I finally went to my academic advisor (forever indebted to Dr. Matousik) who personally tutored me. About 3 sessions in, he looked at me and said, "Jenn, you are not stupid, you have a learning disability." He continued to ask if I ever had been tested/diagnosed- I hadn't. It brought me some comfort to have him say this to me, but I also became overwhelmed by the fact that I was again failing.

Opportunity, that is what I often tell others that failure is, an opportunity to learn and do better. Funny that I fail to follow my own advice. I envy the people I know/see, who plunge ahead with the thought to succeed instead of the idea of failing. Not that they are not aware of the risks, but they are not controlled by them, it's worth chancing failure because they are also chancing success- and even if they fail they can value the experience and the education.

About 2 weeks ago, God gave me a great idea. I was so excited about it. But, then I realized that it was going to be like every other "great idea" I've ever had- just an idea. There are many times I have thought of something I'd like to try/do- but then as I weigh it out thinking of the details- I become overwhelmed with the thought that I will just fail- so why try!? In a way, not trying is failure without the option of success.

I began to wonder if I was going to continue following my trend, or if I was going to begin to at least try. It's a big idea- and I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of how to accomplish it. The fact that I am subjecting myself to executives who may look at me and tell me it is not a good idea is overwhelming. BUT, what if after a few "No's" is a "Yes"- who knows, maybe I will get an immediate "Yes".

So, here I am, putting myself out there, subjecting myself to not just failure- but success. It's going to take some work and determination and time- but I am going to try. Many friends will probably get some phone calls from me for advice, help, and encouragement, so this is your warning. I am taking a chance, and am hoping to rediscover many strengths that I have lost along my way.

Timing and Trust

2012-03-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

Been awhile! To be honest, as much as I've been itching to blog, I have also intentionally avoided it. I typically write pretty candidly on what's going on in my life and what I'm learning from the processes. Well, I am once again going through a challenging issue with my health and am extremely angry and frustrated by it. Although, I probably will write about it eventually- I am choosing to write about some other things that my family has faced and how God brought us through the other sidein His timing!

First, let me tell how Lupe and I received an envelope with $1000 cash inside!

After getting settled in our new apartment at the beginning of February, we were very relieved and also a bit stressed. God had provided the money we needed to get us in our new place, but we were then faced with very limited funds throughout the month of February. We just began to pray and believe God to provide what we needed for every day. As I began to make preparations to celebrate Gia's Birthday on the first, I was feeling a bit guilty for spending the little money I did (I already had the decorations, but a present and cake..). On Gianna's Birthday, a very close friend of ours text Lupe to wish Gia a Happy Birthday, he also asked how we were doing. Lupe text that everything was well, just having some financial challenges. K.L. (I will just call him "K.L" to protect his privacy) joked that he needed to send Lupe an envelope of cash "..like Donny Brasco.." (Lupe and K.L. always joke around as if they are mobsters ). I laughed, didn't put any weight into the comment.
A few days later, I was on the phone with my friend Joanne. We began talking about some of the financial challenges we were having, as we spoke I began to cry. I guess I was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. Joanne quickly began to encourage me and remind me of God's faithfulness. When I hung up the phone, I felt better, but told God "Alright God, I trust you for what I need for today and will leave the tomorrows until tomorrow..".

The mailman knocked on the door as I was about to get in the shower. To be honest, the first thing that went through my mind was "GREAT! Now they're sending us certified letters to pay our bills!!", but as I shut the door I noticed the return address on the package was from K.L. Then I remembered he had mentioned that he was sending Gia a birthday gift. There was a card and some money for each of the girls and Lupe, as I opened the card for Lupe (yes, I opened my husbands mail) I see a $100 bill- as I picked it up it was more than one bill. My mouth hit the floor and I began to sob as I counted 10 $100 bills in that card. My heart began to flip flop all over the place!! I immediately called Lupe, and as my ever so calm unshakable husband always is, his response was "...well, he was pulling a Donny Brasco..." (as I'm sobbing on the other end). I then called Joanne back and told her what happened, her response was what I was expecting (unlike my smooth husband), a squeal and excitement.
WHY did God choose to do it the way He did? I don't know, but I know it was in His timing (which is perfect) and we never went without. I am thankful for faithful friends who stood and encouraged and were obedient.

Another challenge that we have been facing for a few years is our car!! About 2 1/2 years ago, we were driving a Toyota Camry which was just getting to cramped with our toddler and a baby and all their stuff. We needed/wanted a small SUV- and the one we (mainly I) wanted was a Saturn Outlook. Well, we found one and were given a pretty good deal on it- only problem was it was an extremely high interest rate. When Lupe inquired to a very close friend and mentor (who was very knowledgeable about buying vehicles) on what options he may have and how to negotiate- the friend offered to put up the collateral for the loan to keep our interest rate down. We accepted, which in retrospect was a mistake. We loved that Outlook, but we HAD to love it- we were way upside down and our payments were way to much!

After we moved to Florida from Texas, our friend who had put up the collateral, asked us to get new financing for the vehicle- considering we were upside down on it, we could not get new financing. Since we left Texas, the relationship with our friend has become a bit strained and uncomfortable, which makes the whole car situation just feel even worse. We began to have that feeling of a car owning us instead of us owning a car. Lupe never gave up on looking for another car or financing, he would try and get turned down and have an offer that just would not work.

Last week, Lupe had just walked away from another offer that just wouldn't work when he received a letter in the mail from another dealership in the area saying they thought they could help. Lupe called them and explained where we were at and what we needed. We wanted to go back to a car now that the girls were older and a smaller vehicle would work, not to mention the gas mileage on a car would be much better!

Long story short, Lupe spoke to the dealership on Thursday night, they called him to come over on Friday night saying they could make it work, and Friday night he drove home in our brand NEW Mitsubishi Gallant!! We now have a lower payment, lower interest, and are getting 40mi/gal instead of 18mi/gal (THAT'S a big deal!), and this will hopefully remove some of the strain with our friend and start a healing process of our relationship.
We are getting used to "riding on the ground" again and are loving the gas mileage! I will admit, I miss the roominess of our Outlook, the adjustable steering wheel and satellite radio, and with summer approaching we will definitely miss our automatic start button! But, it's so worth it for all the reasons I mentioned above.
We have been dealing with this situation for about 1 1/2 years....why didn't God work it out in the beginning? I don't know, but I am thankful that he sustained us until now with that crazy high payment and has now provided us with exactly what we need. Yet again, we never did without.
I don't understand God's timing, but I don't guess I have to. I just have to trust that His timing IS perfect.
Please continue to pray with me regarding some of this health stuff, I am trying to have faith and trust- but I will admit it's a struggle.

Give It A Try, Better Late Than Never...

2012-02-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

What I read this morning, and something that I want to begin in my marriage:

"Why we have a box on our dresser collecting dollars…
And a long-ago letter to Ann Landers that spawned the collecting-box phenomenon…

“Dear Ann Landers: Last weekend, we celebrated my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. This morning, they left on a long-awaited trip to Hawaii. They were as excited as if it were their honeymoon.
When my parents married, they had only enough money for a three-day trip 50 miles from home. They made a pact that each time they were intimate, they would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for a honeymoon in Hawaii for their 50th anniversary.
Dad was a policeman, and Mom was a schoolteacher. They lived in a modest house and did all their own repairs. Raising five children was a challenge, and sometimes, money was short, but no matter what emergency came up, Dad would not let Mom take any money out of the “Hawaii account.” As the account grew, they put it in a savings account and then bought CDs.
My parents were always very much in love. I can remember Dad coming home and telling Mom, “I have a dollar in my pocket,” and she would smile at him and reply, “I know how to spend it.”
When each of us children married, Mom and Dad gave us a small metal box and told us their secret, which we found enchanting. All five of us are now saving for our dream honeymoons. Mom and Dad never told us how much money they had managed to save, but it must have been considerable because when they cashed in those CDs, they had enough for airfare to Hawaii plus hotel accommodations for 10 days and plenty of spending money.
As they told us good-bye before leaving, Dad winked and said, “Tonight, we are starting an account for Cancun. That should only take 25 years.”
– Loving Daughter in Abilene, Texas“

Perhaps today might just be perfect as any to slip out and find you and your Beloved your own little love-collecting box?"
- from Ann Voscamp, Ann Voskamp: A Holy Experience "One Way To Help your Marriage"

Lupe and I, a couple of weeks ago, realized our marriage was becoming very "routine". We were doing well, but we were going day to day forgetting about all of those "little nothings" that mean so much.

We kissed as we walked out the door, said "I love you" at the appropriate times, we cuddled together as we drifted off to sleep every night. But, we had forgotten about how much the unexpected can do for us as individuals and what it can do for us as a couple. I could no longer find the passion which at times was apparent and undeniable.

It felt so wonderful to sit across from Lupe one night and have this conversation, and then act on it. We are reuniting with the unexpected, the little nothings.
When I read this on Ann's blog, I instantly knew that this is something I think we can implement in our marriage.

Valentines Memories Past

2012-02-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day! What a great day to show love! Not that we shouldn't show it every day, but it's a day we set aside to focus on the love we have for others and celebrate the love others have for us.

This morning, I was awakened by my girls excitement and the smell of my favorite omelet and croissants baking. Lupe woke up, even earlier than normal, and had spoiled all of his girls with sweet little somethings as well as a big yummy breakfast. What I love, is that he did it all because he wanted to and not out of obligation. While eating that incredible breakfast, I began to remember Valentines of the past- there is one that stands out back to when Lupe and I were engaged.

I began to plan early on. I called one of Lupe's staff in the kitchen and recruited him as my accomplice. I bought/made probably 30+ cards and wrote something different in each one, and some of them I put candy or a little something with. I shoved them all into an envelope and sent them off to Jeremy (my accomplice). I kind of new Lupe's routine and such throughout the day, so each card I sent to Jeremy had a location sticky noted to it. Lupe's drawers, closet, mirror, sink, the toilet, in the shower, on his pillow, the thermostat, refrigerator, cabinets, T.V., remote, pantry, in the coffee pot, microwave, back door, car steering wheel, car glove box, and the list goes on..! What I loved, is that he continued to find those cards for weeks!

Now, here is the funny part. Lupe had been making plans of his own....needless to say...he did not receive his Valentines until the day after Valentines Day! That's right! He had his own accomplices...my mom and dad!

Lupe had been planning to fly to Florida (he was in Texas- long distance dating) for Valentines Day to surprise me for quite some time! He was flying into Tampa that morning and my parents were picking him up at the airport. My mom had called me a week or 2 before and LIED to me, saying she had won a couple of free meals for lunch at some fancy restaurant in Tampa- my dad couldn't go and so she wanted me to drive over (from Lakeland, 25 minutes) after work to go with her. She did convince me and I agreed. I actually got off work early and told my mom I would be there a little earlier if she wanted to go over some wedding plans (we were getting married in Tampa) with me. Well, she thought that was a marvelous idea! I walked in looking for mom in her office, when my fiance', Lupe, popped out of the closet carrying flowers, balloons, and a basket full of my favorite goodies! I was surprised, sort of....I guess I should add a little side note here!

A couple of weeks prior to this wonderful surprise, I had called Lupe on the phone while he was driving on the camp grounds. While talking with him, he tells me to hold on a minute because Kim (a close friend also on staff at the camp) had pulled up next to him and needed to talk to him. All of a sudden here a very excited Kim ask in her very excited voice, "SO, are you going to see Jenn- did it work out to go? Are you going?". Right after I hear that, the phone gets very muffled (as if a hand may be covering the speaker, lol) before Lupe gets back to the phone. Now, my mind was wandering- could she really be talking about him coming to Florida? I found the idea impossible until Lupe came back to the phone- when I asked him if everything was okay, he lies saying, "oh, Kim was just asking about an upcoming retreat"- THAT is when I knew something was up! I still wasn't totally convinced, because Lupe said nothing even remotely leading me to believe that he would be coming!

But, regardless of me getting a bit of a hint- it was one of the sweetest things he has done. Especially when I remember how he was stranded at the Atlanta Airport overnight because of weather. Lupe's cell phone died, because of course he didn't bring his charger because he would only be gone for the day. So, it was a bit of a mess- but so worth every minute! I didn't have a gift to give him, because it was all waiting for him at home in Columbus, Texas.

Such an incredible memory, such an incredible wonderful man that God has given me! A man, who brings me coffee in bed every morning, gets the girls up, fed, lunches packed, goes to work to take care of his family, cooks, does laundry, makes the bed, empties the dishwasher, cleans the kitchen, reads and lives God's Word, takes his family to church, loves, cares, and disciplines his children, and he does what's right- not to be right, but because it's right...the list could go on forever. Lupe loves me and all of my faults, and he their may be things he wishes I'd change- but he never tries to change me.

I am blessed beyond measure and so in love with my husband!

The Necessary Baggage..

2012-02-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted recently because..I couldn't think of what I wanted to write about. I never want to post just to say I did it, if it isn't on my heart, important, or poignant- why put it out there.

I was attempting to fix Gianna's Stringy Blanket last night (which was a joke, considering I do not sew much less crochet/knit! It is fixed though- not correctly- but it's fixed!), and I found myself pondering a message I heard 2 Sundays ago- which I've found myself doing quite a bit.
The Sunday after I was released from my wonderful (*sarcasm*) hospital stay, my face was still looking a bit rough so I decided to stay home from church. When I miss church, I typically watch my former Pastor(s), Bishop Tony Miller (who now pastors The Cathedral in Oklahoma City, OK) online. It so happened, that on this Sunday Bishop was away, so his wife Pastor Kathy was ministering.

Now, Pastor Kathy is a joy to listen to and be around- she is admired by so many as a pastor, mentor, friend, prayer warrior, counselor, worship leader, speaker. I remember way back in the day, when she used to say preaching/teaching was not her thing, the first time I heard her teach was at a women's event at our church. That was the first and last time I heard her teach, so I was pleasently surprised when I saw her take the platform at The Cathedral.

As PK began speaking The Word, it immediately starting taking root in my heart, and somewhat mirrored the "Me, Myself, and Lies" study I have been doing. She began talking about baggage. The baggage that we carry full of our past, our failures, strife, anger, emotions, insecurities, etc. Now, many of us have heard others speak, teach, preach on carrying around unnecessary baggage that we should let go of. We limit ourselves because we are allowing our baggage to dictate to us. Hearing this message reiterated what I already new, and was trying to embrace and activate in my life. But, then she made another point that was a big "Aha Moment" for me.

As she walked around the stage ministering, Pastor Kathy did so lugging suitcases and bags to give a visual of how exhausting it can be. Then she pulled out this other bag that represented dreams, visions, and desires- which is obviously necessary baggage. PK went on to explain, that if your arms are full and overwhelmed with baggage containing past regrets, mistakes, negativity, emotions, anger, and insecurities- you leave no room to carry your dreams, desires, and things you are passionate about.

Our minds are so consumed with junk- that we no longer have room to dream, pursue, and nurture the things God has given us to do. I began to think of things that are often crowded out of mind because I tend to think of all of my past failures and allow that to stop me from trying new things. Sometimes, people can't even see "me" because of all the baggage that stands in front of me- it limits me. Have you, or someone else, ever began to "unload" your baggage onto others because it was getting to heavy and overwhelming. God is the only one who is more than willing to not only take our baggage, but dispose of it.

I've been working on letting go of unnecessary baggage. I now realize, that part of letting go of all that "junk" is giving my dreams room to grow and take root. I am anticipating feeling completely free of excess baggage, as I carry along and chase the real "stuff" God has placed before me.
Thanks, PK!

!!!!!Celebrate!!!!!!

2012-01-31T13:17:00.000-08:00

I could not let today go by without blogging, because tomorrow is a big day in the Garcia family! Gianna Avie Garcia is turning 4 years old!

I blogged several months ago about The Best "OOPS" That Ever Happened To Me (follow the link to read)- and that is exactly what Gianna is!
This is the first year we will be having "family parties" for our girls Birthdays- just the 4 of us and any other family who is able to come. We're allowing the Gianna to plan her favorite meals for the day, and she will wake up to balloons and streamers and decorations. Of course, we will end the day with a Barbie Cake and gifts. It will be a day to celebrate her and the gift she is to all of us!

It's so easy to go through the motions of planning a party and a day, and forget to reflect on what the celebration is. I decided this morning that I wanted to write a little something about my baby girl, so it caused me to really start thinking and remembering. I went back and read the blog above that I wrote about her- I grinned ear to ear as it brought back memories.

I also remembered when she was 3 weeks old, a very scary day. Everything was fine as I nursed her and read a book. When it was time to burp her, I sat her up- and something didn't seem so okay anymore. She was kind of limp- well, more limp than what a 3 week old typically is, and it seemed her color was not right. I started to "burp" her a little more aggressively to get her to respond to me. Gianna's eyes began to roll back in her head and her color was getting worse- I knew something was wrong when her lips began turning blue and white. Talk about multi-tasking- while trying to revive my child, I called Lupe hysterical, ran up the stairs to check on a sleeping Tenly, and prayed like I had never prayed before. Of course, by the time Lupe arrived home (he was there in probably 3 minutes with a baby sitter in tow- thank you Jessica) Gianna's eyes were opened, she had a very tired cry and her color was still way off.

We headed to the ER, considering you can never be to cautious with a new born baby. We lived in Columbus, which is a VERY small town- needless to say they were not equipped to deal with infants. They insisted because of her age and the circumstances, we needed to be transported to Texas Children's Hospital, they wanted to be sure everything was ruled out before they issued a clean bill of health.

We spent 3 days there, Lupe and I taking shifts between sleep (they gave us a room in Ronald McDonald House in the hospital) and being with Gia. We held her almost nonstop the whole 3 days, and no one could of convinced me to anything other than that. They ruled it acid reflux, and considering she was 4 weeks premature it sometimes has severe side effects.

A situation like that makes you value your children in a different way......I am so Thankful.

Gianna is one of the sweetest little girls you'll ever know. She is on the quiet side a bit, until she jumps into Tenly's comfortableness, but once she opens up and connects to you- she'll steal your heart. Tenly is her best friend, and she can't wait to have her home all to herself every day. Gianna is a giver, and loves to see others happy. She's a very compassionate little girl, taking every opportunity to tell you how much she loves you. Our little Gia looks like her Mommy, but she has more of her Daddy's personality. She loves to cuddle and sit close- which I take full advantage of. She looks forward to being my little assistant, as she tags along on my errand running and meetings without complaining and ever giving a problem.

Gianna is still known by the little pink stringy blanket and by her wild uncontrollable hair (another thing I gave her). She's a genius with puzzles and anything resembling a computer. But, I believe this little girl- who God told me was called to the world when she was still in my belly (You can read about that one here:Starting Young: Gianna Called To The World) will be know by the love that radiates out of her. She is so special- the best "OOPS!" that ever happened to me!

A Big Lump In The Road...

2012-01-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

Moving day/week has come and gone with to many complications to count. I should look on the bright side, at least the complications weren't as expensive as they were last time! No wonder I despise moving!! Of course our bump, or my lump, didn't quite look like the one to the left- but was the one below.

On Tuesday, while moving some of the boxes and smaller stuff, I began to notice a bump (just like the one I have now had on my right and left eye) starting on the right side of my chin. It was a little painful, but at that point I just could not believe it could be another huge abscess beginning. Well, by Wednesday I started to realize I was very wrong as that I now had a good size lump on my chin along with swollen glands and swelling on my face and neck, and quite painful. I quickly made an appointment with my internist who sent me to in Infectious Disease Specialist. It was an emotional day as I had to retell my weird "lump history" of the past 2 months that no one can give me any answers to. The specialist was unable, yet again, to culture it (UGH!)- but seemed certain I had MRSA and gave me another antibiotic to take.

I went home, continuing to pack while my face, neck, and head throbbed. I was hopeful I would wake up Thursday morning with less swelling and pain- didn't happen. I, instead, awoke Thursday to the exact opposite- I tried to do so much between having to lay down because of the pain. (In the middle of all of this, Tenly had an accident at school and was so emotional I went to pick her up.)

By the time Lupe arrived home, I was considering going to the ER- as absurd as that seemed on so many levels.We still had to pack up the kitchen, clothes, and all of the other loose ends- and needed more boxes to do so. As much as I tried to get around it, I finally made the arrangements for a friend to come pick me up so Lupe could stay with the girls and get as much done as possible with no boxes.

The doctor wasn't exactly thrilled with my being there. He thought I should of waited longer than 30 hours to give the antibiotics time to work- but my face was at least 40% more swollen and the pain had increased beyond 75%- I didn't care! They ran blood work, and ultimately they admitted me to give me antibiotics by IV to kick out the infection.

Part of me was relieved, the other part was overwhelmed with guilt and responsibility. I was relieved that we would get to the bottom of this never ending unwelcome infection that had been haunting me for 2 months!But....Who was going to take care of the girls? Who was going to be there for the cable/Internet hook up? Who was going to finish packing? Who was going to boss the guys around to tell them where to put everything? Who was going to organize everything? Who was going to take/pick up Tenly for school? Who was going to be sure Lupe was going to be okay?

We decided Tenly would stay home from school (the first day she missed), and my brother, who was helping to move, was bringing my niece, Maya, and nephew, Emry, to help (which made my girls not miss me at all)- who did an EXCEPTIONAL job! A couple of guys from the church were also coming to help. (I think we will forever be indebted, especially after they had to move our 2-ton couch!)

The first night in the hospital went with no sleep and vomiting all night due to the pain, then dehydration, and the strong pain meds. Then I began having an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics, and we wrapped up my hospital stay 2 days later with a severe migraine (I felt I came in with one thing wrong, and left with more). All 3 doctors are still convinced that I have MRSA, and a suppressed immune system- nothing to prove it except the consensus of 3 doctors thinking the same thing. They wanted a plastic surgeon to cut it open, but no one would come in on a weekend.

Anyway, my brother and Debbie took the girls overnight so Lupe could finish moving the rest of the stuff- that was a HUGE blessing! Not to mention, the girls came back saying it was "..the best day ever.."- apparently it was especially funny when Uncle Bubbo (what they call my brother) hit Aunt Debbie with a stick. LOL!

I finally came home, very thankful for my incredible friends and family who prayed, cared, stayed at the hospital, text encouraging thoughts, brainstormed, left messages, kept our children, lifted a 2 ton couch up and down stairs, etc. I wish we had more to give, but we say Thank You and are blessed to have you.

I am now almost done unpacking boxes while my face continues to heal (it's closer to normal). Although, I'm not fond of my too small kitchen, and inconvenient closet- I am thankful I am in a home with my family (and for the wonderful storage closet). I am started to embrace and understand that saying "Home is where your Heart is".

Please pray that this "lump" was the last. I do not understand why this is happening, and have struggled to keep positive throughout. But, I do know things could be worse- and it is gone- Thank You for continuing to pray that this is the last and I am completely healed!