Life Warriors

Lighthouses vs. Tugboats

2016-11-13T17:16:00.000-05:00

Lighthouses and Tugboats serve a similar purpose, they both guide boats to safety. But they do it in entirely different ways.

Tugboats go out into the ocean and they tug huge ships back to the port. They push and pull and they give their all to bring the boat back to safety. They work so hard to get the boat and themselves back to the port that they in turn wear themselves down.

Lighthouses shine their light to guide boats to safety. They are rooted and tall, they weather the storms, and the guide the boats to port. They are always a beacon, but whether or not the boat chooses to use the light as a guide, is up to the boat. It doesn't effect the lighthouse either way, it continues to shine it's light, it does not wear down in it's effort.

Stand strong like a "Lighthouse".

Namaste' My Warriors

Happy Anniversary to Me!

2014-10-22T14:53:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary to Me!

“ This woman has fought a thousand battles…

And is still standing.

Has cried a thousand tears…

And is still smiling.

Has been broken, Betrayed,

Abandoned, Rejected.

But she still walks proud.

Laughs loud, lives without fear,

Loves without doubt.

This woman is beautiful,

This woman is humble,

This woman is ME!”

Exactly one year ago today, I embarked on a journey that would forever change my life. My last night in the town that I had lived in for 47 years, I stayed at my parents house. I had sold everything that I owned except for clothing, my computer and a few small personal items. I did manage to sleep that night somehow and got up to take a shower and get ready for my trip. Much to my delight, the shower was not working correctly and my journey was not starting out as I had anticipated. Rusty water was coming out of the showerhead and did not stop. My last shower before travel had literally turned into a “MUD” bath. Not exactly how I had planned to show up to my new life.

Saying goodbye to my parents was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. I had never lived away from them. I was fraught with emotions. Fortunately for me, my living Angels on Earth were with me to take me to the airport, offer me support and encouragement and most of all…love. I can’t tell you the emotions I was feeling as I stepped onto that plane…alone…literally for the first time in my life. You see I had lived a very sheltered life having suffered from severe panic/agoraphobia for most of my adult years. There were times I could not even go to the grocery store for weeks because of my fears. I missed out on a lot in life. I could not travel out of town and my life consisted of a 2-mile radius. Through it all I held my head high and accomplished quite a bit. I was a single mom who purchased her own home, ran and owned a very successful deli and also was Editor of our small town newspaper. I raised an amazing daughter who is just finishing her Masters Degree in Wildlife Education and am blessed with a beautiful granddaughter who is the love of my life.

First stop on my new journey was Ashland, Oregon to visit with my daughter and granddaughter. I stayed with them through Halloween. I got to spend quality time with my granddaughter, visit the redwoods, go to the ocean and see things I had never seen before. On the morning of November 1^st it was off to the airport to my new home in Southern California. I was to be staying with a friend until I could get myself settled with a job, apartment etc. Life happens as they say and things do not always turn out the way planned. It turns out that my friend had a very serious drinking problem and was rarely off the couch. In fact, in the beginning, I would sit in her backyard and cry, thinking “what am I doing here?” Her husband worked away and was gone most of the time, unaware of how serious her condition was. I had no vehicle and no job and had no idea where I even was. The idea of her taking me to find jobs, etc. was impossible. She was too far gone. Eventually she filed for divorce and moved away. I was devastated. For her and myself. One Sunday I decided to visit the Church next door to where we lived and totally broke down during the service. I was scared and alone. At the end of the service people came up to me and I blubbered out my fears and not knowing what to do. Those people became my friends and lifted me up. I was not alone anymore. Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want to give hope to those who are scared to follow their dreams. This is how the story began but what happens next is where the dream came true.

Despite what was going on I knew that I was meant to live in CA. I felt it calling to me from the time I visited in 2010. It was time to put on my “Big Girl Panties” if you know what I mean.

I applied for a job within walking distance to where I lived and was happy to have a place to go, meet people and earn some money. As you can imagine, the small amount of money I brought with me was slowly dwindling away. I also joined a morning Boot Camp and told myself that for once in my life I was going to start something and finish it. I attended each and every boot camp and even the extreme challenges. I conquered “Sand Hill” in Malibu and the stairs at Moorpark College. At the end of the 30-day boot camp we were challenged to see how we had improved from our first day testing. I was almost always last in the running part. Little did I know when I went to the Awards Ceremony, I had shaved 4 minutes off my mile run and won an award. After that, working out became my new passion. The boot camps stopped holding the morning sessions and I decided to hold my own. Having lost 25 lbs. I was in the best shape of my life. I became a Health Coach for Herbalife and was recently named “Supervisor”. Helping others get in the best shape of their lives is something that means so much to me. It is a career that gives back.

Through the ups and downs I have conquered my fears. I was forced to “Push” through them. I have climbed mountains. I have traveled more this past year than I did in my entire life. I have been to Arizona, back home to Maine, and Oregon. I have been to Beverly Hills. Not to mention the beaches…Long Beach, Newport Beach, Venice Beach, Santa Monica Beach, Zuma Beach Malibu, Port Hueneme, Mother’s Beach, Point Mugu Beach, Oxnard, Surfer’s Point Ventura, Rincon, Pismo and Santa Cruz!

Each week I am crossing things off my “Bucket List” and the items on my vision board I created in 2010 are coming true! Did I forget to mention the best part?!? I fell in love!!! I found the type of man one could only dream of finding. He supports me in everything I do and is helping me to accomplish my dreams. I am blessed beyond words.

Just yesterday, I was coming back from a morning run and I stopped to say hello to a neighbor just two doors down that I had not met before. When I introduced myself she said, “Heidi, your name is in the cement right here with a handprint.” I looked down and there it was, cemented for life. It was in that moment that I knew…I was here all along.

~Heidi Martin St. Jean

You Are A Masterpiece

2014-08-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

“Drop the idea of
becoming someone,
because you are
already a
MASTERPIECE!
You cannot be improved.
You have only to
come to it, to know it,
to realize it.
~OSHO
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Speak

2014-08-09T07:00:00.000-04:00

“There are some people
who could hear you
speak a thousand
words and still not
understand you.
And there will be others
who will understand
without you even
speaking a word.”
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Commit Yourself

2014-08-08T21:32:00.000-04:00

"I commit Myself
to Give Myself
Back to Myself"
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Rise to the Challenge

2014-08-08T19:47:00.002-04:00

“Rise to the challenge of bringing your
dreams to life! Do not be discouraged
by resistance, be nourished by it.
Success is the experience of rising
to the level of your true greatness.”
~Dr. Steve Maraboli
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Showing Up For Life

2014-08-07T09:00:00.001-04:00

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step." ~ Lao Tzu

Today is a great day to start your life! What are your hopes and your dreams? It's time to get up, wake up and start your new journey. What could be holding you back? Self-defeating thoughts, financial difficulties or fear? All it takes is that first step! Make it a great day!
Namaste
~Heidi
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Over Thinking

2014-08-06T18:30:00.000-04:00

“Think too much and you will create
a problem that was not there in the first place.”
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Happiness

2014-08-06T16:00:00.000-04:00

“Don’t put your happiness in
other people’s hands.
They’ll drop it.
They’ll drop it every time.”
~C. Barzak
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Seventh Generation

2014-07-31T15:00:00.000-04:00

"What we do matters, not just to ourselves but to the generations to come. Your ripple may become a tsunami. Will your actions enhance or detract from those that come after us?
Look behind you. See your sons and your daughters. They are your future. Look farther and see your sons' and your daughters' children and their children's children even unto the Seventh Generation. That's the way we were taught. Think about it: you yourself are a Seventh Generation."
~Leon Shenandoah, ONONDAGA

The Creator designed us with a free will. That means we function from choices and consequences. It is important that we practice thinking about consequences before we make decisions about choices. Every choice I make is like setting up dominos one after the other that produce consequences. Not just for me but also for my children and for the children that are unborn. My choices and decision today will have consequences for seven generations. For example, if I work on my own spiritual development and I walk the Red Road, the odds are that my children will. They will marry and their children will follow the Red Road and so will my grandchildren even up to the seventh generation. This will happen because of the choices and decisions that I make today.

Great Spirit, grant that the choices and decisions that I make today will honor Your laws and values. May I live in peace today that will ripple into the seventh generation.

We Are Spirit

2014-07-31T12:31:00.000-04:00

“We have bodies.
We have
personalities.
We have Histories.
Stories
Experiences
But we are not
Those Things.
We are Spirit.”
~Sonia Choquette
www.womenlifewarriors.com

The Lady is a Champ...Honorary Life Warrior Carol Polis

2014-07-30T17:31:00.000-04:00

"I had the pleasure of meeting Carol Polis a few years back while working in Greenville Maine, the home of breathtaking Moosehead Lake, as Editor of a small town newspaper. I immediately was drawn to her energy and story. This is the first feature story for Life Warriors about a Real Life Warrior. Carol was in the process of writing her book at the time and I am pleased to announce that it has arrived! Kudos to Carol and all of you out there that have a story to tell."
~Heidi St. Jean

The 1970s were a time of great upheaval for women. There was Roe v. Wade and the Equal Rights Amendment. There were Gloria Steinem, Billie Jean King, Golda Meir, and Carol Polis.

Who is Carol Polis? In 1971, Carol Polis married a part-time professional boxing referee. Within two years, she went from being a squeamish spectator to a professional boxing judge, the first woman ever to do so. As luck would have it, not only was this period the golden age of womens rights, it was also the golden age of boxing. Carol Polis had a ringside seat for all of it. Sometimes she was the main event. From cutting her teeth on three-round undercard fights at the gritty Blue Horizon in Philadelphia to finding herself at the center of a riot at Madison Square Garden; from being schooled in Joe Frazier s sweat drenched gym on North Broad Street to officiating in a Don King tournament and being investigated by the FBI; from following the careers of local fighters like Boogaloo Watts and Willie the Worm Monroe to becoming a personal guest of Muhammad Ali; from speaking at the nearby Rotary Club to appearing as a contestant on Whats My Line and To Tell the Truth; five-foot-one, 115-pound Carol Polis, for better or for worse, was treated as an ambassador for all women, a novelty, and even a misfit. Polis was bound by none of these labels.

First and foremost, Carol Polis was a mom. When her marriage breaks up in 1977, Polis's life becomes more a matter of survival than knockouts. It is while keeping a roof over her kids heads and later raising her grandson that Polis earns her heavyweight belt. The ultimate challenge, it turns out, comes not from attaining stature as a world class sports figure but from becoming a world class juggler. Carol Polis outdistances the 70s. Then the 80s and 90s, eventually officiating at a staggering twenty-seven title fights in nine countries. Like the era she leaves behind, she leaves the uncomfortable title of women s libber in the dust. Polis is, rather, an accidental pioneer someone who attains greatness not by seeking celebrity or confrontation but rather by being herself. The Lady Is a Champ is a sports story that will inspire women and a womans story that will floor boxing fans.

Purchase The Lady is a Champ

Don't Let Someone Dim Your Light

2014-07-30T17:16:00.000-04:00

“Don’t let someone dim
your light
simply because
it’s shining in
their eyes.”
www.womenlifewarriors.com

Change

2014-07-30T16:16:00.003-04:00

“Making a big life change
is pretty scary.

But, know
what’s even
scarier?

Regret.”

www.womenlifewarriors.com

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

2014-07-29T15:47:00.001-04:00

15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy

1. Give up your need to always be right.
2. Give up your need for control.
3. Give up on blame.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
6. Give up complaining.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
8. Give up the need to impress others.
9. Give up your resistance to change.
10. Give up your labels.
11. Give up on your fears.
12. Give up your excuses.
13. Give up the past.
14. Give up attachment.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

www.womenlifewarriors.com

Out Negative Thought

2014-07-29T15:39:00.000-04:00

I say “OUT” to every NEGATIVE thought that comes to my mind. No person, place or thing has any power over me for I am the only thinker in my mind.
~Louise Hay
www.womenlifewarriors.com

SLOWDANCE

2014-03-31T10:59:00.002-04:00

Have you ever watched kids 
on a merry-go-round 
Or listened to the rain 
slapping on the ground?  

Ever followed a butterfly's
erratic  flight 
Or gazed at the sun into the
Fading  night?  

You better slow down 
Don't dance so fast 
Time is short 
The music won't last  

Do you run through each day
on the  fly 
When you ask "How are you?" 
do you hear the reply?  

When the day is done, 
do you lie in your bed 
With the next hundred chores 
running through your head?  

You'd better slow down 
Don't dance so fast 
Time is short 
The music won't last  

Ever told your child, 
We'll do it tomorrow 
And in your haste, not see
his  sorrow?  

Ever lost touch, 
Let a good friendship die 
'Cause you never had time 
to call and say "Hi"?  

You'd better slow down 
Don't dance so fast 
Time is short 
The music won't last

When you run so fast
to get somewhere 
You miss half the fun
of getting  there. 

When you worry and hurry
through your  day, 
It is like an unopened gift.... 
Thrown away...  

Life is not a race. 
Do take it slower 
Hear the music 
Before the song is over. 
~Unknown

www.womenlifewarriors.com

Inner Strength

2014-03-31T10:36:00.001-04:00

Faith can move mountains and heal wounded hearts;

Beauty will linger where hope imparts;

Love can bring comfort when life seems too tough;

But, when day is finished, strength shall be enough.

Inner strength is a fortress where sanity reigns,

A pillar of peach, far from grief and pain,

A place where the sunlight so effortlessly shines,

Enshrouding the spirit in warmth, undefined.

In each moral fabric, one thing remains clear,

Through times of much hardship,

Strength falls with each tear;

Thus, with every teardrop, the soul shall be cleansed,

Thanks to inner strength and support from true friends.

No moment of struggle, marred by loss or grief,

Shall ever be greater than the wide belief,

That every challenge has reason to come,

For each heart is tailored to never succumb.

Inner strength is our light through a forest of trees,

Guiding our way, always, with the greatest of ease,

Embracing our purpose, down each earthen trail,

And the single reason, we’ll always prevail.

~Jill Eisnaugle’s Poetry Collection

www.womenlifewarriors.com

The History of the Wish/Prayer Box

2014-03-31T10:05:00.000-04:00

The Wish/Prayer Box

Origins of Prayer/Wish Box Jewelry

There has been debate over whether the prayer box originated in the Buddhist or Hindu faith, but these prized religious objects are treasured today by many faiths, and even by nonreligious individuals. Originally worn as a religious ritual object, prayer boxes are now used primarily as jewelry and worn for sentimental, not religious, purposes.

Prayer/Wish Box Variations

Prayer boxes come in many styles, shapes, sizes and materials, but they all share one thing in common - they are containers for a cherished item of religious or personal significance. The opening to the compartment is most often secured with a latch, of which there are many types. Others open and close with a few turns, much like the lid on a glass jar.

Religious Uses of Prayer Boxes

Prayer boxes are used by the followers of many faiths, including Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. All faiths use prayer boxes to focus the mind on one’s prayerful thoughts or secret wishes, typically by writing down a prayer or wish on a small piece of paper and placing it into the box. Doing so is believed by the faithful to make these prayers and wishes come true. It is also possible to place a small religious object inside the prayer box. A follower of the Hindu faith, for instance, might place a sacred Rudraksha seed, also known as "Shiva's tear," inside the prayer box.

Religious Motifs

Prayer boxes can incorporate images of deities or religious teachers, such as Ganesha, Lord Buddha (see image to the left), or Quan Yin. Much more common, however, are prayer boxes that integrate religious symbols into their designs, such as the star of David, the Christian cross, the Christian fish symbol (Ichthus), praying hands, the Om symbol, or the Tibetan prayer wheel.

Sentimental Uses of Prayer Boxes

Prayer boxes also have sentimental uses. For example, a spouse's lock of hair, a small photo of mom, the first lost tooth of your child, and other cherished items can be placed in the box and worn throughout the day as a remembrance of a loved one, here or long departed. An inspirational thought might also be written down and placed in one’s prayer box, from which strength can be drawn throughout the day.

Inspirational Message Prayer Boxes

In recent years, message prayer boxes have made their way onto the market. These boxes are usually engraved with a word, such as Peace, Hope, Love or Faith. These words can also be written onto the box using silver wiring or granulations (small silver dots), that are soldered into place to form each letter of the word.

Many individuals use prayer boxes as jewelry, and for no other purpose. A beautiful prayer box does make a splendid focal point or centerpiece on a necklace and adds class to any bracelet. What is the difference between a prayer box pendant and a prayer box charm? Size. Smaller boxes are usually used as charms on a bracelet, whereas larger boxes are typically used as the centerpiece of a necklace.

Wish/Prayer Box

What is a "Vision Board"

2014-03-27T16:20:00.001-04:00

Vision Board 2010

Definition of Vision Board

A vision board is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality. A vision board is simply a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. It consists of a poster or foam board with cut-out pictures, drawings and/or writing on it of the things that you want in your life or the things that you want to become. The purpose of a vision board is to activate the law of attraction to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream. By selecting pictures and writing that charges your emotions with feelings of passion, you will begin to manifest those things into your life.

I am sharing with you my "Vision Board" that I created in October of 2010. I had just come back from a month long journey to California from Maine. My life was a mess and I really needed to find myself. I suffered from Agoraphobia for most of my life and for many years my life consisted of a 7-mile radius. Although the journey has been long, today I find myself the person I always dreamed of being. After leaving California I went back home to Maine and thought about what I wanted for my future. I knew that California was the place I felt most spiritual and wanted to go back to. My daughter was still in college and I didn't feel right about leaving her at that time. Then in her Junior year of college she became pregnant with my beautiful granddaughter Jaclyn Jane. Again, I was compelled to stay and wondered if my dream of California would ever come to fruition. My vision board consisted of dreams for the future and as you can see, the State of California was on my Vision Board. I also posted my favorite poem, The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. The first time I heard it my life changed. The paragraph, "I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments," really made me think about my life and if I could truly like my own company. I also posted my book on the bestseller list and of course, financial stability and my dream home on the beach in California.

Three years after I created this "Vision Board" my daughter, fiance and granddaughter made the decision to move to Oregon so that my daughter could attend Graduate School. I knew then if was time for me to follow my dreams. I am happy to say that I am living in Southern California. I made the move in October of 2013. I sold everything I owned and moved in with a generous friend of mine. That vision came true. I have also gone to the beach where my dream home resides numerous times. I no longer live my life in a bubble. I have traveled to more places in a month than most of my life. I enjoy my own company in the empty moments. My daughter and family are thriving! My book is in the works and Life Warriors is finally becoming what I dreamed it to be. My life is better than it has ever been!

I challenge you to create your own "Vision Board" and start creating the life of your dreams.

Namaste my "Warriors"

~Heidi Martin St. Jean

Life Warrior

Secret Santa Challenge

2013-12-12T11:37:00.000-05:00

“Christmas time has come

and it’s time for some fun.

I leave a gift and run,

Secret Santa has begun.”

The Christmas Season is upon us and many of us are rushing around, shopping, baking, wrapping presents and more. I know that for me, one way to put a smile in my heart is to help someone less fortunate. Many years ago I started the tradition of “Secret Santa”. Each year I would pick a family going through financial difficulties or someone alone and make it my goal to ensure that their Christmas was a little bit brighter. The gift I received in return far encompassed the gifts that I gave. Being someone who has been in financial hardships myself I found that it’s not always a gift you purchase. It can be something as simple as a card or a visit to someone who is lonely. We all have something to give.

Last year I was going through some financial hardships. It was also my granddaughter’s first Christmas. I didn’t have a Christmas Tree and I was worried about buying groceries for Christmas dinner. After giving each and every year I was feeling very sad not to be able to help anyone that year. Then I saw one of my friends on Facebook was asking for donations for a young boy that most likely wasn’t getting much for Christmas. My heart told me to give what I could. The only extra money I had at the time was $2.00. I put that money in an envelope and gave it to the person asking for donations. They thanked me like I had given them $1,000.00. It felt good to be giving something. What happened next totally blew me away. The next day I went to the Post Office to pick up my mail. There was a Christmas Card from someone I barely knew. I opened it up and Inside there was a message, “Sometimes bad times fall upon good people, God loves you and so do we.” They had enclosed a gift certificate for $250 to our local grocery/clothing store. I was totally shocked. I was on the receiving end and was humbled beyond words. I could buy all the items for a wonderful Christmas Dinner for my daughter and her family and a few presents too! A few days later some friends showed up at my door with the most beautiful Christmas Tree I had ever seen! I had a tree! I had never been so blessed as I was that Christmas. I then understood even more how priceless the “Secret Santa” tradition was to others.

Warriors, I am asking you to please stop what you are doing in this busy season and think of something good you can do for someone else. I would love it if you would post the stories on our Facebook wall so we can all share. Remember, even $2.00 can make a difference.

Wishing you the most wonderful Christmas of all with the Spirit of Giving!

Peace & Love,

Heidi St. Jean

Dairy Bar Crew receives big tip, pays it forward

2013-08-20T15:39:00.001-04:00

Three members of the exemplary team at the Dairy Bar in downtown Greenville, Maine, left to right, Haylie Genoa, Ava Henderson & Aysia Jardine

By Jonathan Pratt

Courtesy Moosehead Matters August 20 Edition

GREENVILLE – Since 1952, the Frostieland Dairy Bar has served visitors in the Moosehead Lake Region, all with a smile under the lakeside summer sun. This year, however, stands out as extra special to Manager Darralyn Gauvin, “This has been the least stressed summer I have ever had.”

Evidence of the top-notch service exhibited by the 2013 Summer Staff can be summed up by a story from Gauvin of a recent encounter that left she, and the ladies of the Dairy Bar, smiling ear to ear.

One evening, Gauvin was shopping at Indian Hill Trading Post, when a gentleman stopped her and showered the Dairy Bar girls with praise, as he went on and on about the efficiency and teamwork he witnessed as a patron of the Dairy Bar. For her part, Gauvin thanked the man and went about her business shopping.

The next thing she knew, the gentleman returned with a bank envelope. He handed the envelope to Gauvin and asked her to give “one of these to each of the girls at the Dairy Bar.”

When she returned to the Dairy Bar, Gauvin opened the envelope and found ten fifty-dollar bills! One for each of the ten girls at the Dairy Bar. The “team” includes Aysia Jardine, Ava Henderson, Haylie Genoa, Carli Peat, Molly Foley, Miranda Drinkwater, Courtney Mann, Grace Bilodeau, Katie Perry, Kylie Roberts and Drewan Berbaker (both from Virginia).

As one can imagine, the girls were ecstatic to hear that someone had been so impressed with their work ethic and their “spirit”, they felt compelled to tip each of them in such a way.

When the girls came down from their elation, they talked it over and decided they would pay it forward by donating ten percent of the tip to a charity of their choice. And they chose the Riley Lizotte Memorial Playground.

The lesson of the day may just be that this particular gentleman picked the right group of young people to tip, and the ladies of the Dairy Bar learned just how important it is to treat everyone as a special customer, because you never know who the person on the other side of the counter may be!

If you would like to donate to the Riley Lizotte Memorial Playground Fund you can donate through PayPal email prudy @myfairpoint.net or send a check to Prudy Richards PO Box 248 Greenville, ME 04441. You can also donate your returnables and drop them off at Rick & Brenda Lavigne’s Redemption Center.

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

2013-08-09T07:09:00.001-04:00

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men you have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has more education or is in a better job. Do not make him into a Quasi-God. He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing the bending…compromise is a 2-way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him, he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful. Dr Phil says, “You should know that you’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the first place, just know that he’s not the only one. They’re all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts…

http://www.womenlifewarriors.com

Give Time To Your Family

2012-11-07T05:38:00.000-05:00

Author Unknown

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with yo

u.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked.

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

Stop Domestic Violence...One Woman's Story

2012-10-31T07:39:00.000-04:00

He is jealous of everyone. I’m not allowed to go anywhere without asking permission and then he interrogates me when I return. He puts down all my friends. I can’t even visit my own mother without a hassle. He checks the mileage on my car. He hides my keys. He won’t let me drive. He makes me account for every penny I spend. If I go to the store, he times me. If I’m late, there’s hell to pay.
If I leave, he says he’ll kill himself. If I leave, he says he’ll kill me. If I leave, he’ll take the kids. If I leave, he’ll never let me alone. If I leave…If I leave…If I leave…

He doesn’t hit me that much. He throws things. My things. He smashes his fist through the kitchen cabinets. He pushes me out in the snow. When he hits me, he acts as if nothing happened. He’s always sorry and says it won’t happen again. He says if only I didn’t push his buttons, it wouldn’t happen at all.

He tells people I’m crazy. He tells people I cheat on him. He tells me no one will ever believe me. Everyone likes him. Everyone thinks he’s a good guy. I don’t have any friends anymore. My family says we should work it out. My family is sick of me leaving and going back.

He tells me no one will ever want me. He says I’m too stupid to work, too fat, too ugly, too skinny, too slutty. He tells me I can’t do anything right. I can’t do anything right.

I just want to take a walk or see a friend or read a book without him always there. I’m always walking on eggshells wondering what he’s going to do. I just want to be myself. I just want to breath my own breath.

When I left, he followed me everywhere. He knows what I eat for breakfast, who I talk to, where I shop. I know he knows because he tells me. He leaves flowers in my car. He killed my cat and left it in the mailbox. He says he’ll do anything to get me back. Anything. He says if he can’t have me, nobody can.

The kids are all mixed up. They’re acting out at school. When they see him, he cries and says I don’t believe in marriage. He asks them what I’m doing, who I’m seeing. I wonder if it will ever end, if I’ll ever be rid of him. I’ve called the police when I see him passing by my house. They say they have to catch him in the act. They say I need a witness. I’m so tired of it all. I’m just so tired.

Some days I feel hopeful. I’m beginning to like being alone. I can talk to friends on the phone as long as I like. I’m looking for work and I’m taking a class. I’m not as dumb as he says. I’m really not. Sometimes I hear his voice in my head and it sets me back. I’ve got to work so hard to get out of bed. I’m trying to figure out who I am. Who I am without him. I know I’m someone. I know I am.

Andrea Itkin- New Hope for Women