i'm in

Change is easy.

2011-06-27T21:28:00.000+05:30

The most inspiring words which we hear in all consolations... “Change is easy”... of course it is when it happens at the right time and right place.

Every other day I have listened to people complaining about things around them; most predominantly about the system. Everything starts with the talks on the failure of system; inefficiency of the system etc. People are so frustrated of the corruption and other practices which are evil to the society. This frustration calls for changes in the system. The kind of changes which will crush down the old one... And build up a totally new one which is deemed as perfect. Like a superman who solved every other problem of planet earth.

Agreed, people are telling sense.

Now tell me what their contributions are. If they were so good, doing their part perfect, what would be the possible state of our existing system? If everyone were perfect, all the businesses would have been perfect, translating to a perfect system. Please do not curse or make fun of those who are doing their part because they are working for us. It’s not because they are weak or they have renounced the worldly pleasures. It’s probably because they want a satisfying life, their way. And in the right way...

So the only thing lacking is our contribution. Let’s take the first step and believe change is easy. The direction is a sure guess and chance is what that makes everything happen in our way...

A new year and a new what….?????

2011-01-01T23:28:00.000+05:30

People need something to start over… maybe that’s why we have Jan 1st celebrated.

Right now I’m worried about only one thing. “Why I’m not going CRAZY…?” maybe I’m worried about losing the grip over the whole thing. Whatever I’m doing right now with the help of people around me is the only distraction I’ve to keep me grounded. And it’s my duty and I believe I’m living up to the expectations. It’s very hard to keep the reputation of being a gentleman alive. That’s the only challenge I dare to take and that’s the only thing I want to live for.

-----

    On 12th December 2010 I wasn’t worried when our driver came home at 3:30 in the morning. He came in and sat on the sofa. Wasn’t talking. I thought it was because of the small fight I had with him the previous evening. It was quite normal in the last 10 plus years with him. I asked him to sleep and tried to get some myself. But I could not. At around 5 Kaiser was given rest and I unlocked the gate. In less than half an hour Rajan Pallan, our ward member, came and said mom’s condition is a bit serious and they are to start from Delhi in a few hour’s time. He took my uncle’s(mother’s younger brother) number and that was the first clue I got.
    I went thru many dramatic scenes and only thing I remember is holding Jolly aunty’s(our neighbour) fingers and crying inside.
    I just wanted to mention something I went thru and I wish no one should made to go thru that kind of experience. It’s the formality of marking the attendance my asking the closest relative of the person who just passed away to answer how, why, when, what etc. let me tell you no one would be comfortable doing that. People who visited made me tell them that my mom is **** and how that happened. I was not at all comfortable saying words like that. My mom is still with me. And the only belief on which I’m riding is that she is going to come and take birth in my family tree sometime. I’m looking forward to give that soul whatever I can get. Rather whatever she asks for. All because I’m now left alone.
    She is my strength and she is with me.

----

It’s because of her I’m the gentleman I’m now. And I shall make her proud.

Letting her go...

2010-08-02T22:01:00.000+05:30

Me…? And an advice… that’s the last thing I would do when it comes to very personal choices. But I feel it’s quite ok to tell your friends what I went through when I was into a relationship and my partner was walking out of it. If at least one person gets benefited from my experience, I’ll be more than happy. Moreover don’t you remember “Bantne se pyar badtha hain” from Andaz Apna Apna. But here definitely not for pyar…

I cried…

But I needed an opening. Those days I used to get visions about things happening around. One of those visions made me an angel to her friend. I had a vision. And as usual I trusted that. It was not about my relationship facing the crossroads, but of seeing a dead end.

It’s true that I didn’t try to patch up things that particular time and I let it go for the very reason that it was getting more and more expensive. My future, my life… I was just blind in “love”. I was losing control over everything. Those were the days I lied to my parents. I’m not saying she didn’t. She was there with me in every single step we took. What I value most is the trust she showed in me. It was very hard to live up to that. Literally, hard. To the moment I owe her for the same. And at the same time I was addicted to that.

All these made it very hard for me to face the reality. We were to split and we were together at that very moment and it’s only me who had the vision and I knew it was happening. We had fought n number of times till that date. Every time we found ways to get over those. It just rained and we were together again. But that day she was with me, just to make me happy. Maybe just for a happy ending.

She slapped me on my face. And I knew that was the moment.

She thought I was crying because she hit me hard. Forgetting that I had a score [slaps received during ragging time] of 50 plus, she broke into tears. What more reason I need to cry for a few more minutes other than her precious tears from her gem like eyes. We spent enough time together that she got what she wanted… a happy ending.

We were split in a few weeks time. That was not so happy ending. My mistake…

PS: If she wants to go, let her. You can do that only if you know her better than her boyfriend or her ex ;)

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

2010-07-19T10:28:00.003+05:30

It’s that gem, which shed much light,
And not to surprise it made me blind…

It’s my fault for I could not wait,
For that glimpse of graceful maid…

Isn't it the time yet to forget GOD....?

2010-07-16T21:31:00.000+05:30

Answer is NO... maybe it’s high time to get away with religion if you are serious. People around me say that it’s just a personal opinion or in the good sense it is individual's sense of being human. It’s the nth time I’m going in, just to make sure I’m grounded.

How much ever i fly, i have to come back at some point of time.

Is God necessary for making us humble? Otherwise why do we give away our time and achievements to the almighty? Or at the least we thank him?

"I am satisfied with the mystery of the eternity of life and with the awareness and a glimpse of the marvelous structure of the existing world, together with the devoted striving to comprehend a portion, be it ever so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature." - Albert Einstein

We need god... and at that point where we know the truth- that we are supposed to know.

Knowing god or truth for that matter is as good as getting a graduate degree certificate. We have the certificate and we can find a job with that. What if we see it just as a certificate and nothing else... I’m not interested in a job which i can get anytime i want. I’m rather interested in doing something which I’m in interested in. After the realization why can’t we just stay grounded? It’s because we refuse to learn more and change with the changing times... [btw I still don’t know why we lose interest in truth or the potential job in hand.]

But again why do we need god???? Not all of us get distinction or first class... That means the percentage who fail to score need more classes or extra caring and guidance. It’s true only when we have some compassion towards the society. And mind you it is quite natural to think humane. That is exactly why the idea of god is still alive. People who belong to very smart class want others to think on the same lines they are thinking. And understand the same things as they do. This is one of the reasons they start medication very early in their lives. Only in the proverbs it happens that we learn from other’s mistakes.

One relevant question here is for how long this whole drama is to go on... Most probable answer is that as long as there are failures... With time the syllabus is to change, the pass percentage is to change, we people are to change… and again people are to fail.

There new gods shall come up…

The only way out I see is to stay grounded…

"Anjali"

2010-06-19T10:12:00.000+05:30

Writing for you

O, eternal sunshine,

Flipping days and

Nights, in desire.

Your first rays

Put life in my veins.

Your eyes tell me

A thousand tales.

Treasure is what i call them now

'cos you made me forget what is love.

She...

2010-06-12T14:21:00.002+05:30

The spillover from the Holy Grail...
Its shining bright, your graceful smile,
Silver lining or the diamond ring,
Mystery in the ocean depth...

Banning Matrimonial Ads

2010-05-31T21:22:00.000+05:30

The last two articles I read which were very close to the caste system were ‘The fear of caste’ from Times of India Blogs by Santosh Desai and ‘Love, sex, gotra… what’s going on?’ from Times of India Blogs by Shobhaa De. Whats new… absolute nothing…

Like I’d mentioned in my earlier blogs most of these people are talking about the urban India which constitute only less than 30 percent of the total population. And the people actually covered in their discussions are just a minority of that 30 percent.

Its well and fine for them to talk for the changing India. The growing India… The modern India which is free of caste and other discriminations. Whos stopping... The thing I can’t understand is why on earth are these people simply spreading the facts “most” of the people know… that include caste, background, percentage of population, reservation, etc… how many times can we read the same thing again and again. The irritants are the superficial things they put like asking kids or some arbitrary person on serious issues… asking caste itself is very much the same as marring all progress that is made already. Why because if everything is free and fare why does anyone want to know the caste in the first place?

Can any of these people suggest something practical to take the caste thing away… no… no one has the guts to do that. Even if they can, they won’t.

If there is no caste… all equality and everything that is free and fare why can’t we ban caste based matrimonial ads… any of you guys have answer for this?????

I’m going to post this question on my blog and twitter page in definite intervals. Let me see if someone can help me with answering that question…

Caste Syatem being phased out...?

2010-05-16T23:51:00.000+05:30

I appreciate those who say merit system is desirable. At the same time I’m having the opinion that reservation has to be continued because of many reasons. One of which would be answer to the question 'why lower class and/or lower caste people are not performing?' If someone from lower class and/or lower caste is able to study and make it, well and fine. But in case of aristocrats and upper-castes yesteryears, they could study and make it only because they had enough resources and favorable conditions, both socially and economically, from the time immemorial. The rich or the so called upper-caste had monopolized all the resources which could serve as tools for development or progress in a wider sense. It happened from the time varna system was re-interpreted in order to keep the life and lifestyle of their future generations safe. In that drive the lower class suffered the most. And they continued to.

Today there is an awakening. Agreed lower class people are making it. But, how many? In cities we see many of them. They are performing to some reasonable extend. The fact is that very less percentage is there in the cities. This is a serious issue because less than 30 percent is our country is urbanized. Again, to what extent.... problem is that most of the people in the cities have seen only people of their standards. Or they could catch glimpse of the lower class only through the media. No one has the right to blame them for the reason that they have only their world. More over they have literally no scope or time and effort to know the depth of the problem. Anyways…

Can anyone answer one question? Why isn't there a ban on caste specific matrimonial ads? I personally see this as the basic step to be adopted to eliminate the evils of caste system we are talking about. What i believe [and have experienced] is that its the only time[with atmost seriousness] when you are asked your caste. many would disagree stating the fact that interreligious/intercast marriages are happening and their count is in the rising. i must say that for a negligible percent of gay people if we can change the law, why not for the caste.

We hear lot of comments for and against the caste system. Every blog with various media has loads of facts in it on caste system, its evolution, establishment, continuance etc. Why only theory? How many of them are written to make people understand and analyze the whole system from various view points. Sadly most of the media takes the side of liberal, scientific and progressive stand for the merit system. That system cannot come into existence in one day. Why no one is suggesting simple steps towards that.

Even if someone belongs to a scheduled caste or scheduled tribe is a millionaire, when he is at his native place he is still known as “someone from that particular caste/tribe”. Socially however high a person can reach he is still known in the name of caste /tribe. I’ve no intention to site the cause. You may guess.

PS: The advertisements of gold and diamonds must be banned. Especially when it focuses on wedding... Can't marriages happen without tons of gold? Let’s make people aware and make them live for themselves. Let them drop that ‘prestige issue’ thought.

TREEMOTION

2010-03-13T17:59:00.000+05:30

I did a few searches on TREEMOTION. Sadly I found it nothing new when the results were displayed.

And in its own way my TreEmotion is a brand new thing on earth. Maybe you can call it the last concept inspired from the movie Avatar. So what is it…?

The fact is that I started thanking trees. I touched a tree and said “Thank you, I love you”. I felt so happy then I wanted to do that again. And I did that. With many other trees I said I love them, literally by touching them.

Most of us know how bad it will affect us if we love someone and not have an opportunity to say that. Here let me remind that there are people and other fellow beings who are interested in our well being. Those people who love us. They might have done a lot of things for us till this moment and are ready for share our hand in the future as well. How many of us use the opportunity to thank them…

In the modern day trees has special place in our lives, especially when the climate change and such are being talked about. At least for a healthy younger generation. Various governments and other institutions are implementing schemes to plant more trees and expand the green cover/tree cover. In Delhi for every tree cut is compensated by planting ten plus trees. It’s a government policy. In Kerala there is “ente maram”(=my tree) scheme which encourages planting and bringing up of tree saplings.

The other day when I went for jogging in the evening I got this idea. Though the winter had just gone its very hot. And the trees on the roadsides are all the time disturbed with the dust and vehicles. I felt so bad and just went on to a tree and thanked it.

I believe it has emotions. Otherwise the research on plants and the effect of classical music (any music) would not have been termed successful. Leave technicalities apart, tree is a living being with rights on par with other living beings on mother earth.

PS: No I’m not getting too much emotional… was just exploring the potential of that thought…

Dying climate change

2010-03-06T11:11:00.000+05:30

The life expectancy of the so called climate change proved to be as good as average breaking news in any electronic media. Or else why do you think every other project, from its planning to implementation we hear the words such as climate change, global warming, eco friendly, environment, organic, green etc., a thousand times. Even Delhi is to host one of the first green sports event of the millennium.

How green are you? Wait, you are needed to count the number of times you use the flush in the toilet. After all only 2 percent is available for humans to make use of… Won’t that kill if you are asked to share an auto [sorry I forgot that you deserve more…]. Or to finish your meals completely [it’s funny to mother running after her kid to feed him with solid food. There they suggest health drink. Whatever it is…]. Or not to get potato chips [fried of bake? What difference does that make yaar… Have you ever noticed its 30 grams you get when you pay Rs.10/-]… You may relax because none of the modern day school teaches one about the value of money… Forget money. No values at all… And by chance if you have learnt it in some school; it’s never to be practiced. That’s the way it works. When majority of graduates are not getting to do the things they have learnt, we should be labeling ourselves crazy to think otherwise.

One more interesting case… of rewarding system of Nobel Prize. It’s given to the notable achievement accomplished which is proved to be effective to humanity in various fields prescribed. Nobel Prize is criticized for not being awarded to all achievers. More over in the field of science it takes decades for an invention or discovery to be established as a major contributor to human society. The reason for Al Gore and Pachauri to be the heroes is nothing but the same. Someone started it and these people announced it. Since then many things happened both in the lines of their theory/forecast and against. Till today those phenomena which are against their findings are treated as exceptions or more detailed [never ending] research is going on with those.

Before Copenhagen Summit it was Russian scientists who brought out the conspiracy theory of global Warming and Climate Change. In their findings were that the theories were introduced to make the global market ready for American non-CFC technology in refrigerators and air conditioners. As if we care…

Strangely though, at the end of the day everyone blames it on the changing attitude. Even I’m taking that stand. But again, I’m not for a communist and social set up. The system should have a rewarding system in place. The austerity measures of the political leaders are aimed at bringing about change in the grass-root levels. Why are they not doing anything for the upper strata? Or is it that they are well aware and never care about any of these jokes. Well that is what I call attitude. What is the point if you and me party harder and find pleasure in nothing?

Well… I’m talking about doing all those things which can make us happy. Rather keep us happy. Now I’m no one to advise you to find happiness in the less damaging things. It’s just the consciousness we need to have when doing something. It’s the greatest care we can show. We don’t need anyone to be around to keep on telling us about the climate and related problems. Today that is happening and it’s quite boring. In the time of micro-blogging why should someone take all the pain to go through the long articles? It’s the seriousness and sensitivity. But once you are on it you know what is happening around. And you decide on the way in which things work. Maybe that is the modern day nirvana.

PS: No 8 fold path needed... just a few moments thoughts... :)

I’m born to live. Not to exist.

2010-02-28T13:39:00.000+05:30

Reading my own blog entries gives me a sense of confusion. Then I thought over it and found what the real problem behind that would be… it was very simple. I try to see my blog entries keeping myself a couple of years away from me/the present time. And the problems I was facing included doubt if I wrote it by myself, doubt if I’m getting too socialistic/communist/radical etc etc. All that fears are being drained out as I’m keying this in. Now I’m experiencing this. I’m evolving. As I’ve put it in the ‘about me’ column everything is getting better.

I’ve been thinking of calming myself from a few days. I had a strange feel that I’m spread across many spaces/planes/and what not. Then it was the process of consolidation. First thing I could think of was to delete accounts from social networking sites. I deactivated Facebook account. Just ‘deactivated’ so that I can have a second chance. Snkutty introduced me to suicidemachine.org. I liked that so much. But problem there was two. First, I had to keep Facebook option open. And second, I’m following Shashi Tharoor on twitter n for no reason I want to continue. Moreover I’m liking Google’s buzz a lot… At the same time I’m worried about the future role of Google in our lives. You know what is that giving me strength… it’s “Inquilab Zindabad.”

Coming back to the consolidation thing. I’m almost alone today[not because its Sunday]. Thought of thinking about nothing for some time and idea of this blog entry came up. I realize it’s not my joblessness or the anticipation of mains result in a few days that is making me a bit nervous. Replacing Hindu daily with HT is working wonders. Maybe the masala [STUPID columns by celebrities in HT city] and friendliness is doing the job.

Now I prefer my study materials to whatever happening outside me. At least that will help me gain some brownie points in my pursuit for happiness… Guess I’m addicted J [until I’m through…]

PS: Happy Holi

The Hero

2010-02-25T18:27:00.000+05:30

Go to the villages, where the life is

2010-02-25T13:08:00.000+05:30

Read an article by Ashtavaidhyan Narayanan Namboothiri in Mathrubhumi paper titled “We are moving away from the nature.”

Though it is against Bt Brinjal it emphasis more on changing human attitude. It was an appeal to be humane to humans as well as the nature. As an Ayurveda practitioner he says whatever earth bears is a medicine in one way or other. But by altering them all the basic components of this universe is affected. Through media we are well aware of the poisonous chemicals used in the process of different stages of agricultural production. Latest being the hormone treatment (I’m talking about the large scale ones). Genetic modification (compared to born out of illicit or unnatural sexual relation) is done only for high yield and thereby to make high returns. And he calls for strict ban on Genetically Modified products.

Now I want to have a closer and wider look at the whole thing.

Consider the theory of climate change. It explains most of the questions pertaining to erratic monsoon, fluctuating crop yields, flowering and bearing of vegetables and fruits in the wrong time of the year etc. When we mix this idea with the hormone treatment or genetic modification it saves a lot of time as far as the farmers are concerned. It’s all about moving forward with maximum speed. And the production, after all it’s the GDP that counts. It is making me think of the new age work culture. Is it so bad that the people are not enough time to grow some veggies at their home? At least a micro-garden…

It’s definitely not ignorance.

Designer plants, organisms, babies are not solution. Nor they are going to help build a (strong) future generation. In our race we want to build the future but for ourselves. Slow down and think for a moment.

How long are we going to last? If someone has Rs. 500 million (or even 5 million for that matter) also that person will not be dared enough to think beyond shares, flats, cars, gadgets and such luxuries or moving to tire III town or a village to live a peaceful life. NO. People are not trained to think that way. Again it’s a huge thing… No one would dream of the quantity and quality of the villages that can be rejuvenated. It’s really huge…

PS: Go to the villages, where the life is… but it must be for living close to the nature and in harmony...

Revolution of mind and soul

2010-02-20T20:47:00.000+05:30

This one is direct form of inspiration from a lecture by eminent bureaucrat Mr. Jagmohan at Sanalp today. Though he talked mostly about the governance and his new book on that, the solution to all the existing problems in Indian society rather any society was the one which clicked. And it is the revolution of mind and the soul.

It is a revolution as it demands participation of the mass or the citizen [of course to remind about the duties and not only the rights]. Mind and soul is involved for its thoughts that need to be worked upon.

The other day when I was talking to my friend communism crept in. my friend favors communism and socialism. Though I’m against so called socialism for it’s a utopian concept. I could only think that it’s the solution and something out of reach of mortals like me. Thus in our discussion the solution evolved was the same as jagmohan sir had mentioned.

Citing his work on the Vaishnov Devi temple he explained the need for us to work. And I’m convinced that if not socialism something in that direction is possible. It’s like you create some marvelous thing and make people believe and then make them follow. It sounded very practical.

And one thought that still disturbs me is that thing which stops all our mates [provisionally qualified and landed in some totally weird jobs] from thinking. After all what are they running after? And for how long… All these questions I’m putting because slightly less than 100 percent of them complain about our system, government and every machinery associated.

Anyways all the best for our friends and thank you to Jagmohan sir for showing me the ray of hope…

About Me

2010-02-16T21:55:00.000+05:30

Clarity! Clarity! Clarity!!! That’s one thing which is missing.

The Other Me (TOM): What’s in a name?

Well, I’m searching on the internet… The meaning of the word “Young Sun” in Chinese! That’s what I would be called in Chinese. This is not just a gut feeling. My home is named “Udayam”. That’s the time when you see young sun and the happiness [Anand, my brother] of the new day. I admire my mother for having such a beautiful theme for us and our house. The roots of origin of ‘Arun’ are in Sanskrit, Hindi and Cambodian, says one of the websites and it colors me red, define me passionate and good precursor as well as cruel, sharp and sorrow. Now you might be wondering how the word ‘Kumar’ crept into my name. It’s for the good luck you see. According to numerology if the weight of each letter in my name is added up, it will give 3 and that’s my lucky number. That way ‘Kumar’ supplements the meaning of my name, equates the sum of weights to my lucky number and keeps me young throughout my life. Above all the ‘A’ in the name ‘Arunkumar’ would keep it in the top of a list put in alphabetical order.

Our house is on the Main Street of Gandhinagar. On that street our home ‘unfolds’ the ‘festiveness’ and ‘prosperity’. Apparently the locality is named after people drawing inspiration from Father of Our Nation, Gandhiji. It’s named Gandhinagar, same as the capital city of Gujarat. Earlier our place used to be known as Veluthur[literally is ‘white/clean place’]

Gandhinagar is around three kilometers away from our previous place called Cherur. Reasons to move are simple. Closer to town and we were offered this house for comparatively cheaper price. Cherur got its name from ‘Cher’ i.e. the clay. Cherur used to be one of the good suppliers of clay for the making of terracotta tiles and vessels in its golden times.

That takes us to Thrissur, the cultural capital of Kerala. Word Thrissur evolved from ‘Trishshivaperur’ meaning ‘Land of Sacred Shiva’. Thrissur belonged to the Cheras in Sangam age. My interview at Staff Selection Commission for the Combined Graduate Level Exam started with questions on Thrissur. Chairman of the interview board wanted to know the specialty of my place. I could not think beyond world famous ‘Thrissur Pooram’, ‘Cultural Capital’ status and one of the most attractive tourist spots. But what he wanted to know was about craze of people for Gold here. Some where he had read that gold shops in Thrissur do business till late night, 12 or 1 in the night. I didn’t know about that. All I said was the number of gold shops are huge when we consider the city. One thing I learnt from them was that we Keralites have very good reputation when it come to highly qualified North Indian seniors.

Talk of the town n the newspaper...

2009-12-04T21:34:00.001+05:30

Pakisthan and Democracy
the need is much more than will... political, military, judicial n what not... maybe the 7% population is right to a certain extend. what Pak need is a dictator with political will for democracy. but when foreign aid is coming in, their goals are shifting away because of the tags and conditions attached with that aid... thats helplessness...

for binding climate target
emission intensity is much more stringent than per capita emission. there India's advantage is the population. the talks of we switching over to renewable and less polluting fuel sources are silly in the sense that it's contribution in percentage might not even cross single digit figure.

when talking about the emission cuts by other countries there are things to learn. all the measures to increase efficiency and going green are just REDUCING the overall effect. majority of the people who speak of climate change maintains their "status" "high" but for what... in the modern world subjects are working hard to get the status of the king. or at least the status of the class upper to them. we have seen Mr.Pachauri and Al Gore "flying" around the globe to make people aware of the warming mechanism. thats only the very obvious and visible contradictions of the new generation thoughts. all these happens in the time when no one like preaching and we very well know that the awareness programs can bring in change only in the long run, especially in the matters related to changing habits and climate change...

Is it just Sex or Materialism as we elegantly put....

2009-11-30T22:16:00.001+05:30

the following paras contain my first hand experience and few thoughts and worries...

Right now personally i'm in a not so secured position in any way though i've been given a couple of years more, exclusively to pursue civil service thing. I consider myself just a student n not an independent guy for the simple reason that i'm not settled in life as such with a job. All these make it my duty as to do the learning process well n do all that which would get me to a well settled life. So thats the background...

From my Bangalore days I've been seeing guys desperate for girls. Its the thought that a decent job in the hand and almost full freedom dragging guys into this. It was all about sex for sure. Otherwise those relations would have lasted at least a few years. When I talked to a few they were having the view that its not about sex but the material side is most influencing. They were right. Why should a female of our age settle down with someone in the same age group who are all struggling to settle down in life. Thats where age difference in the case of traditional marriages comes in handy.

In those cases what I want to find out is why these females are experimenting. or is it just the ignorance. or so called stupidity. none of those females involved knows... actually only god knows. initial years is the time when both boys n girls fly around... that time i say sex is the thing. when it is in the up-stairs who on earth can stop someone in the early twenties.

Coming back to the hunt for females... I was happy with the studies from the time I started preparing for Civil Services. With God's grace I could make myself busy with classes, notes, magazines, test n everything. I met a few fine girls over there in Delhi in various coaching centers. I think I was trying to be a psycho student. Ironically[seemed from outside] i was in good company of those 'fine' females i mentioned. There i met real mix of beauty and brains. Smart girls... now i feel i missed the females outside the institute... anyways... There also the students and some my fellow beings were fighting for females. many of them were having a wonderful time away from home... Everywhere the starting point was civils preparation n then combined study...

In Trivandrum i took up my mains this year... This time again i could only be in the company of a few less ordinary people. I believe Praveen and Myself were busy studying and rest of them were good at many things other than studying. Among my female friends those who were serious seemed to do it great n the rest i'm no one to have a say on them. For the the female hunters again the starting point was civils preparation. but it went on n on with free messages, missed calls, calls and deadly n irritating philosophy.

Seeing my friend who has philosophy in his blood made me realize one thing. There are a lot many females who does not think of their own. Those who trust others so easily that they give away their personal details to others. Now i should be calling my friend an expert in lady hunting or i must say that there are a lot more girls who are born stupid, they grow up stupid, they live stupid n finally they die stupid...

to those girls/ladies: please watch movies, serials, at least news on tv... or just read newspapers... be aware of the people around. come out of those stupid thoughts you have... come out of the stupid life you have... be close to your parents. they are the people you must trust... remember the only relation that works out fine without commitment is that of parent-child relation...

PS: God gave me the strength to save it for after marriage. Thank you, God.

2009-11-14T21:19:00.003+05:30

and again i wrote mains exam... i have the same feeling as last year that i've done it well. but rationally its just better than that of last year's. this whole thing is so unpredictable that no one can guess anything about the marks. so logically everything is in the hands of god.

last mains i had a very bad fight with math n this time i expected a similar situation with malayalam literature. with god's grace i could attempt everything and only negative thing i could find with my performance in mal was my language. again i can comment on that only if i see the marklist.

something similar is in the case of gs. with 3 markers and 5 markers it was a total surprise. but i tell you the second paper was of UPSC standard. i loved that pattern and the kind of questions asked. simply awesome.

with the suggested chnages startig from the prelims after a couple of years would literally eliminate the role of coaching centres. thats what UPSC wants and thats the illusion they are living with. from the news reports what i could make out was that the refors in the pattern and syllabus is going to help the coaching centres of CAT or some similar test. but again its too early to say something for sure about this exams.

with loads of expectation from UPSC notification for 2010 prelis it's me signing off...

I Wanna Go On n On

2009-06-10T17:32:00.003+05:30

No longer I can wait
To kill the truth
That the sun is to shine
And I'm the dewdrop...

The flower, it's just blooming
And I'm there to watch
Why is that I feel
My presence is all she needs...

She is waking up
But it's to see me leaving....

and here i start...

2009-05-17T20:08:00.001+05:30

May be I was waiting for this day… the exam went well and I’m back into blogosphere. This year I’m trying to put every possible material related to civil service preparation and our society in total…. To take up this task and to do this regular here I start….

Caste system is on its last legs???

2009-01-18T21:55:00.004+05:30

These are the thoughts crept into my mind when I read articles came on the editorial page of “The Hindu” on 8^th and 9^th Jan 2009 by Mr. Markandey Katju, judge of the Supreme Court of India.

Article tries to show the effect of change of mode of production from fudel to capitalistic. The observation of the caste system being destroyed could only be seen as the transition of the “existing form of caste system” into something new.

Technological advancement, people’s struggles and inter-caste marriages that is happening in India is limited to a class of employees rather than to a section of society. This may be generalised only to the metros and IT hubs. One of the prominent features of modern industrial [capitalist] system is the status based on achievement and not ascription. I’ve experienced that this true for a few individuals and that’s it.

The technological advancement we talk about in the modern times is not accessible to all. There are various reasons for this limited reach of technology including illiteracy and lack of awareness dew to that, economically not affordable, lack of flexibility of these modern technologies and inventions which instead of supplementing human efforts changes human nature.

***

Difference is a universal truth. The more we talk about differences the more conscious we become. And this leads to opinions of different shapes and sizes leading to bias. That particular perception then causes some form of clash resulting in the failure of philanthropic concerns.

The way out is we and our duty. Continuation of what we are into for ourselves and everyone else… hope you guys won’t take it like “Let there be light.”

Here I’m…

2009-01-13T12:19:00.003+05:30

Shifting my base temporarily from Delhi to my home town was exciting enough for me to plan that journey a bit long. The trip lasted from 9^th Nov to 22^nd Nov.

As soon as my mains exam got over on 8^th I started my journey at 4 O’clock in the next morning, i.e. to IIM, Lucknow. That’s only because of one simple reason. How can I not go and see my darling friend even once when he was just 8 hours away from my place? On his recommendation I booked a chair on Swarna Shadabdi Train. It started on right time and the service was almost comparable to that of flights. From the newspaper through the morning tea, breakfast and the comfort ride. But one thing about which I felt very bad. That’s the typical Indian carelessness. People litter around almost everything from the toothpick to the newspaper given.

I had to take a rikshaw from the station as it was a bit far from IIM campus. And snkutty picked me from the main gate of IIM and then I was busy meeting old friends out there in the midst of their placements. I felt so good and free in the too spacious campus, free from all the congestions in Delhi. Next best thing happened in Lucknow was the food. That misseri roti, biriyani and kabab from Ameenabad were very different to my taste buds. I could not stop myself from eating more non-veg before I left Lucknow. The train back to Delhi was half an hour late and the station is a garbage dumping yard when compared to Ernakulam of Thrissur railway stations. Even Bhopal and Nagpur were 100 times better than Lucknow station.

Then I had 2 days in Delhi and I met a few good friends during those days and went for shopping in CP, Palika Bazar, Nehru Place and Sarojini Nagar. And at the end of those two days I donated one third of my books, then packed the next one third and then let the rest with my friend to keep in the safe custody. Packing was done neatly into 3 cartons, 2 bags and my lappy. As I had to parcel my luggage thru RMS before catching my train to Bhopal at 9 I had to leave my place by 6. Now sending that parcel was one of the most horrible ad scaring things that could happen to me at Nizamuddin railway station.

The railway system is so sweet that I had to spend 1000 Rupee total on my 62 Kg parcel as various charges including coolie, stupid and un-necessary packing, unloading charges, parcel charge, loading charge etc etc. I have no idea about the time when some common man can just walk in with his luggage as in the airports and do his booking and make his journey comfortable. Nothing is in place from the coolie to the agents including railway employees. But I could find the employees here in Thrissur very fine and kinda professional. Here they work and they earn unlike their counterparts who exploit. Had I have not known Hindi they would have squeezed at least 3 thousand from me that night. By the way I could finish the parcel business only by sharp 9 and I managed to catch my train on time.

I had the editor of Krishak Jagat next to my birth. He was so cool that he took some time out to talk with me. That next hour he helped me to understand a different picture of agricultural sector in the central part of India. Overall the journey was pleasant and I reached Bhopal station in the morning. My friend, Promil picked me from the station and we reached his place in a few minutes time. We freshened up and he left for his classes. I was left at his place with paratas and tomato curry for breakfast and loads and loads of snacks including 4 types of ladoos, mixtures and fruits. As soon as he came back we had lunch and went for site seeing. We went to see the Upper And Lower Lakes, New Market, Taj-ul-Masajid, Boat Club and the highest point of Bhopal on India’s one of the earliest ropeways. In two days I could not cover more places and I started from there on the second night with lots of snacks which Promil used to bring when we were in Delhi.

The trip from Bhopal to Nagpur… the evening was very cold and I could manage to get only an AC birth for that. And the result was cold when I reached Nagpur. There I had to walk around with an inhaler. I was not sure about spending the three days ad two nights in Nagpur. Dikshit, my good friend and mate, picked me from the station and the good news was that we had the car for entire two days. Dikshit’s father is the Dy. Collector there and he was so cool about everything from friends to studies as we were good sons. That morning itself Sarang, our friend, dropped in and we set to go to Ramtek. Ramtek is a place out of Nagpur city and there is one beautiful temple and a lake with boating facility.

The ride to Ramtek reminded us on the movie ‘Dil Chahta Hai’. We decided to thank god for sailing us through the Preliminary test. We were very thirsty for ‘mineral water’ and we had the will power to control it till we were done with darshan in the temple. One of the things which I loved most was the Varaha murthi there. By the way monkeys there almost pick-pocketed my wallet. And right after the darshan we stopped at the very first mineral water centres and on the way back we stopped at one more motel for another sip. My friends say I drive safer when I’m on ‘mineral water.’ Whatever it is, we reached city and roamed around till 12:30 in the night and went to the lake side called lover’s point. By the time we reached home everyone was asleep and we had a safe entry.

I didn’t know time flying and third day in Nagpur came with the time to say good bye to Dikshit’s family. And very happily they added a few Kgs to my luggage. Dikshit was coming with me to Bangalore and we started. The trip was enjoyable and we got to Bangalore on the next day noon. For me it was a couple of nights with ‘mineral water’ and fag. I was keen to taste my favourite food items there and I wanted to take Dikshit to pubs there. After reaching Rajiv’s (one of my best friends) place we freshened up and went directly to ‘Legends of Rock’ and had a beautiful time there. Our next destination was Garuda Mall and MG road. We had a couple of hours to walk around before meeting Rajiv at JukeBox, Koramangala. The dinner was excellent for it tasted wonderful. May be we should have such food with a gap of few months so that we can enjoy it properly.

One of the good things that happened was putting Linux on my system. Rajiv’s roomie and a good friend of mine, Sujith did that for me. Though I’m not utilizing it to any reasonable extend, I’m proud and happy that I have it and I intent to use it. Literally in those days in Bangalore I was a dying chimney because I was a chimney during my mains exam period. I wanted to meet Arun Selvaneshan, Mithleena, Rekha, Abu and a few other friends. But I could not. After those fairy tale days [only because I can’t live a life like that for more than 2 days. Because I want to be on the track of studies and exams until I’m in service] in Bangalore I started for home with all set to be there for a couple of months.

A Wednesday

2008-09-11T21:18:00.001+05:30

A Must Watch...

Ayodhya and Lanka - Making of the King

2008-08-09T23:25:00.009+05:30

Ayodhya

The pride and glory of Kosala, the four princes, came as the blessings of the almighty in the true sense. Parenthood after many years waiting thrilled the king Dasharat and his queens. The eldest of them all, Rama, was to be the hire of the kingdom after Dasharat. Much care and guidance was given to the princes in grooming them to fit into their future roles in the country’s politics.

Lakshmana always came first in backing Ram with almost everything. It was his love; affection and obedience for his elder brother which made him guard and defend the glory of Ram. Bharata and Shatrughna had a very close bond between them and when it came to loyalty to Ram, they were always second to Lakshmana.

The four princes of Kosala were schooled under saint Vishwamitra. In addition to the political classes they were trained in archery which happened to be the most used weapon in the wars those times.

…

Once when the queens and the princes were living as one closely knit family…

Kaikeyi had special affection for Ram. She loved him more than her own sons and Ram responded positively to it. He took special care in taking care of her wishes. It was this time when Ram used to eat mostly from Kaikeyi’s kitchen with her.

One day Ram had some plan in his mind. It was a plan for he calculated the chance of leaving Ayodhya for a while. Kaikeyi had prepared his favourite dish and was waiting to serve that to Ram. He did not turn up for the meal. Kaikeyi went searching for Ram in her palace and garden. And after a long time of search when she found Ram, he refused to have food. Upon Kaikeyi’s insist Ram agreed to have food on one condition.

The condition was to persuade Dasharat to grant him permission to leave Ayodhya for a while…

…

During all these times there was one silent and unnoticed shaping up of the presumed future king of Kosala…

Ram took the loyalty and obedience of his brothers for granted. So was the case with the love and care shown by the King, Queens and the people of Ayodhya. In the early years itself he started living the life of the King. No one to question. And only options were proposed to be considered, that too without obligation. That way Ram got to do everything he wanted to. No one posed a threat to him at any point of time.

As an administrator in the making Ram was adored by the people in Dasharat’s court. He was a brilliant warrior, intelligent, quick witted and right in every single. He lived the life he dreamt of. The life of the future king…

Everything in Ram’s life did flow in the direction he wished until that day when he came to know that Dasharat is to declare Bharat the future king of Ayodhya. Kaikeyi played her part so brilliantly that the presumed future king was to lose all his dreams of kingship.