Inspirational Editor

Dialogue Tags and Action Beats part 2: Punctuation and Capitalization

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:58:00 +0000

We talked a while ago about punctuation and capitalization of dialogue that precedes action beats. But what if the dialogue comes after an action beat?

A common error is to string everything together with commas, but that creates logic issues, and often, unintentional humor.

Incorrect (and unintentionally humorous):
Bart sucked air through his teeth, "I don't date extraterrestrials."
What's really going on in this example? Bart is simultaneously sucking air through his teeth and attempting to speak. Try it: speak while inhaling, with your teeth clenched. Nearly impossible and pretty silly, isn't it?

Correct:
Bart sucked air through his teeth. "I don't date extraterrestrials."
In this example, Bart first has a reaction that physically shows his discomfort, and then he speaks. The reader digests one idea at a time, and the story flows smoothly.

Also correct but less desirable, since the speech tag is unnecessary:
Bart sucked air through his teeth, then said, "I don't date extraterrestrials."

So when you're checking your manuscript for the capitalization and punctuation of dialogue, remember these two rules:
A complete sentence starts with a capital letter (there are exceptions involving colons).
Avoid splicing an action beat and a line of dialogue together with a comma.

Happy writing! ☺

A Deadly Wilderness

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:31:00 +0000

Disclaimer: (Really? This is necessary?) I have received no compensation for the opinions I've expressed in this post.

My good friend and critique partner Kelly Irvin writes romantic suspense best read before dark. I've read Kelly's stuff for several years, so I know this to be true. Seriously, folks, Kelly Irvin will scare the peanuts out of you. You've been warned.

Here's a taste of her picante debut novel, A Deadly Wilderness.

An idyllic wilderness hike turns deadly when homicide detective Ray Johnson tumbles into a ravine and lands on a corpse.

Not just any corpse, but the son of a prominent citizen that turns the case into a political hot potato.

Ray teams up with his troubled partner and their boss to solve the murder before city leaders bump them from the case and out of their jobs. And before the twin temptations of alcohol and lust can derail his colleagues.

Their determination to find the man’s killer leads them from the wealthiest enclaves in San Antonio to the city’s dark underbelly inhabited by a drug cartel and paid assassins.
At a crisis hotline center, a frantic anonymous call propels counselor Susana Martinez-Acosta smack into the center of the investigation and into Ray’s arms. Exactly where she doesn’t want to be. Following the tragic death of her husband, she’s struggled to build a safe haven for herself and her son. That new world doesn’t include hit men and persistent detectives with dangerous jobs.

As the pressure builds to solve the case, Ray finds himself with multiple missions: solve a murder . . . save a partner from career suicide and another from matrimonial destruction . . . and win a woman’s heart.

And stay alive to enjoy happily ever after.

A Deadly Wilderness is a romantic suspense novel that will take the reader along on a tumultuous journey as the consuming need for material wealth drives a deadly wedge among family members who haven’t learned when enough really is enough.

The journey ends where it began—in a deadly wilderness. Not everyone will survive the trip.

Motivation and Reaction: Proportion

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 21:48:00 +0000

When you dig deep and get emotion on the page, be wary of going too far with the character's reaction and making it cartoonish and unbelievable.

Say an old flame enters the room, and your heroine passes out from the shock of seeing him. Unless he's a serial killer she's been fleeing and she has extremely low blood sugar, fainting is too strong a reaction. The balance is off. But assuming he's not a serial killer and her blood sugar is fine, she might choke on her drink or jut out her chin, while noticing her hands have become moist.

A combination of subtle, preferably conflicting emotional reactions (à la The Fire in Fiction) is much more believable—and interesting to read.

Happy writing. : )

Developmental Editing Expert

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:40:00 +0000

Sometimes editors need editors, too.

I recently had the chance to polish some of my own writing by working with author and editor Nikki Arana's expertise in high-level structural/developmental edits. I knew my plot was solid, but I wanted a second opinion. And since I respect Nikki's storytelling ability a great deal, she was my first choice of editors.

Nikki pinpointed exactly what I needed to change in order to take a decent manuscript and make it a whole lot stronger.

My hat is off to you, Nikki. ☺

CROWN Promotion Network

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:14:00 +0000

Here's a new promo opportunity organized by Kathy Maher and Debbie Lynne Costello. The idea is based on authors helping authors.

Announcing CROWN:

Civil War,

Reconstruction and

Other historic

Writers

Network

CROWN is a network of writers whose focus and passion is creating God-honoring fiction set in 1800’s America, who share marketing opportunities to promote one another.

Our purpose for CROWN is to create a viral network of quid-pro-quo promotion and influence for our genre and individual books. Participants of CROWN enjoy an internet buzz over their new releases via author interviews, blog tours, reader discussion/review campaigns, forum participation, and social networking. In addition, grass-roots campaigning at local bookstores and libraries, speaking engagements, and book signings.

Imagine the power of numbers working for you.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CROWNfictionmarketing/

or contact us:
mahereenie@yahoo.com (Kathy Maher)
debbielynnecostello@hotmail.com (Debbie Lynne Costello)

Three-Book Contract: Laurie Alice Eakes

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:52:00 +0000

A big congratulations to Laurie Alice Eakes!

Laurie Alice Eakes has just signed a three-book contract for a Regency historical series for Baker/Revell. Once Widowed, Twice Shy; Fool Me Twice, and Three Times the Charm are her ninth, tenth, and eleventh books to go to contract since December of 2008, seven of them with CBA publishers.

Writing Opportunity: paying market

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:18:00 +0000

From the Hurray GOD! Web site:

"HURRAY GOD! is all about lifting up the name of Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, through true and authentic answered prayer stories. We know God still answers prayer today, and we are dedicated to publishing stories about real people who have experienced real life answers to prayer. Stories that will bring hope, inspiration, and encouragement to people the world over."

See their guidelines.

Another Sale for Laurie Alice Eakes

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:02:00 +0000

A big congratulations to Laurie Alice Eakes, whose historical romance with strong suspense elements sold to Baker/Revell.

The book is set on the eastern shore of Virginia as the second conflict between the fledgling United States and England heats up.

One midwife, two beaux, three men capable of starting a war.

Way to go, Laurie Alice! J

Dialogue Tags and Action Beats: Punctuation and Capitalization

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:19:00 +0000

For some writers, punctuation and capitalization comes naturally; for others, not so much. You know who you are. ;-)

Luckily, there are some simple guidelines we can follow to make sure the punctuation and capitalization of our dialogue tags are appropriate.

When a dialogue tag is not a complete sentence, its first letter doesn’t need to be capitalized, even when the preceding punctuation is not a comma. I think the non-comma punctuation is what throws many people for a loop.

Rule of thumb: A complete sentence should begin with a capital letter.

For our first examples, we won’t worry about whether it would work better to use an action beat (it usually does).

Correct:
“You’re a liar,” she said.
“You’re a liar?” she asked.

Incorrect:
“You’re a liar.” She said.
“You’re a liar?” She asked.

Now let’s look at some action beats, which are usually complete sentences and so should begin with capital letters. Notice the punctuation before the closing quotation marks.

Correct:
“You’re a liar.” She slammed down the newspaper.
“You’re a liar?” Her fingers stole to her cell phone.

Incorrect:
“You’re a liar,” she slammed down the newspaper.
“You’re a liar?” her fingers stole to her cell phone.

Let’s all say it together: A complete sentence should begin with a capital letter.

Happy writing. ☺

Painful yet Necessary: Sometimes you need to cut a scene

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Wed, 06 May 2009 22:13:00 +0000

On the weekend, I finally had it with my forsythia. I’d babied it for five years, and instead of a glorious show of canary yellow blossoms each spring, all I got were a few pathetic flowers at ground level. Not the effect I’d been hoping for.

Ever have a scene like that? One that contains a unique turn of phrase, quirky humor, a poignant line of dialogue—but fails miserably at being a cohesive part of your story, no matter how much, ahem, fertilizer you add.

There comes a time in every manuscript’s life when we have to cut one or more scenes (most manuscripts, anyway, especially those of seat-of-the-pants writers). It’s hard work. We can’t just prune out a few damaged twigs; we need to get right in there with a shovel, a garden fork, a lot of perspiration, and maybe a pry bar to detach those beloved words’ hold on our heart.

Sure, deleting a scene will leave you with an aching back and blisters on your hands, figuratively speaking. But once the deleted scene is gone (you can save it in a separate file, though you’ll probably find you never end up using it), you’ll have the perfect spot for a scene that works for your story.

Writing that new scene is usually far less difficult than removing the old one, because now that you’ve decided the old scene doesn’t work, you know why it doesn’t work, which leads to a good idea of exactly what will work—something that fits seamlessly with the surrounding scenes.

In the case of the forsythia that refused to bloom, the surrounding shrubs that bloom enthusiastically are lilacs.

Good-bye forsythia, hello lilac.

I encourage you to stop fighting with those difficult scenes that refuse to cooperate with the scenes around them. Take them out, set them aside, and work in scenes that support the overarching story. You’ll be glad you did.

Happy writing. ☺

Purple Prose: Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:44:00 +0000

Hi, everyone. I’ve been away from the Inspirational Editor blog for a few months (yikes, how did the time fly by so fast?), and I’m delighted to be back with part 2 of our purple prose discussion.

To refresh your memories, Zebra author Anthea Lawson shared her fabulous example of purple prose, which is nothing like the lovely writing you’ll find in her books, I promise.

Her alabaster bosom heaving, Rosamunda let out a maidenly shriek as the darkly menacing villain approached. Golden tresses whipped by the wind, her silken skirts molding to her voluptuous thighs and clinging lovingly to the mounds of her breasts, she gasped... “You treacherous villain! You will never take me against my will! I know my hero will come to save me!” The villain let out a cackle that cracked like thunder in the stormy air. “I think not, my lovely. Not unless he can fly.” He stalked forward, hands outstretched like evil claws. “Tonight, you will be mine. Your petal-soft lips will yield to my punishing kisses and your dewy innocence will turn to knowledge of the carnal delights that await.” “Never!” Clutching her arms about her, the beauteous Rosamunda turned. Tears welled in her sapphire eyes, she sobbed, and, like a lovely, doomed swan, stepped over the cliff edge.

We picked a POV character (Rosamunda) and tried to stay out of anyone’s head but hers, and we stripped out quite a few adjectives, adverbs, and exclamation marks. So far so good, but we still had some work to do.

Today let’s address a logic issue that also creates an emotion issue: the gasp. OK, so Rosamunda gasps, what’s wrong with that? We all do it from time to time, especially when we’re surprised or offended or especially pleased. Right? But we have no context for Rosamunda’s gasp, and that creates two problems:

1) What made her gasp in the first place? The villain? The gust of wind? For our readers to feel like they’re in the scene, we need them to be able to experience a connected series of events and responses. If you’re unfamiliar with Dwight Swain’s Motivation-Reaction Unit concept, please take a few seconds right now to pop over to my favorite article about scene structure.
2) What emotion are we supposed to feel because of the gasp? Indignation? Terror? Anticipation? For all we know, “the villain” could be Rosamunda’s pet name for her lover.

We could assume that because this one-paragraph story ends with Rosamunda jumping off a cliff to avoid losing her innocence to the villain, that her gasp is a direct response to the villain’s approach. She’s likely more afraid of him than of the wind. But what if we use the wind to prompt not just a gasp, but a series of events that causes an emotional reaction, an intellectual reaction, a physical symptom of her emotion, and then a gasp? This is how we nurture an event into an emotionally compelling piece of fiction.

Let’s see what happens when we delve deeper into the events surrounding Rosamunda’s gasp, as well as massaging the rest of the events into a more logical order and adding another intellectual response before she takes her swan dive. We’ll also tweak the tears, which are not exactly out of Rosamunda’s POV, but could be used to bring the reader deeper into Rosamunda’s experience of the scene.

As the villain approached, Rosamunda shrieked. The wind whipped her hair and her skirts, icy fingers skittering up her calves and exposing her flesh to him. He leered and increased his pace, holding his arms wide to prevent her slipping past him. If he caught her, he would commit the vilest acts of debauchery upon her, just as he had upon those girls whose poor corpses had been discovered. She should never have ignored her hero’s warning and come out alone. She backed up another step, and the cliff edge crumbled under her heel. Nausea rolled through her stomach. She gasped. [Their dialogue continues here—another topic for another post.] Only one choice remained for her. Hot, stinging moisture blurred her vision as she sobbed and stepped over the cliff edge.

Better?

I'd like to add a note regarding making revisions based on someone else's suggestions. The "revisions" we've seen here are mine (because it's my blog ☺). Normally editorial advice comes with the expectation that the author will be making the revisions in her own unique way. If you have a fabulous, experienced agent or editor who suggests changes to make your manuscript stronger and more marketable, it's always a good idea to take those suggestions seriously. But if anyone suggests you make changes that feel wrong for your voice or your characters or your story, that's another thing altogether. Your book should always remain your book.

Let’s all pay special attention to using strong nouns and verbs instead of flowery adjectives or adverbs; incorporating logical progressions of events and characters’ reactions; and integrating the setting into our scenes in a meaningful way so the literary world can become a far less purple place.

And please join me in giving Anthea a heartfelt thanks for being such a good sport.

Happy writing. ☺

Purple Prose Revision: Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 02:51:00 +0000

One of you asked to see a revision of the purple prose we looked at in the previous post. Because this is a big topic, I’ll split it into at least two parts.

There will be something special for a reader who’s paying attention. ☺

To refresh your memory, here the writing sample is in all its purple glory (graciously donated by unpurple Zebra author Anthea Lawson):

Her alabaster bosom heaving, Rosamunda let out a maidenly shriek as the darkly menacing villain approached. Golden tresses whipped by the wind, her silken skirts molding to her voluptuous thighs and clinging lovingly to the mounds of her breasts, she gasped... “You treacherous villain! You will never take me against my will! I know my hero will come to save me!” The villain let out a cackle that cracked like thunder in the stormy air. “I think not, my lovely. Not unless he can fly.” He stalked forward, hands outstretched like evil claws. “Tonight, you will be mine. Your petal-soft lips will yield to my punishing kisses and your dewy innocence will turn to knowledge of the carnal delights that await.” “Never!” Clutching her arms about her, the beauteous Rosamunda turned. Tears welled in her sapphire eyes, she sobbed, and, like a lovely, doomed swan, stepped over the cliff edge.

If a piece like this one landed on my desk, I would first encourage the author to join a critique group and invest in some how-to-write books (small outlay, huge benefits).

But this once, let’s see what we can do to elevate it from its current state. While tackling the bigger issues, I’ll be doing some tweaking and tightening.

First, we should pick a POV character. How about Rosamunda, since she seems to be the character the reader is supposed to be emotionally invested in. So let’s strip out all the stuff Rosamunda probably wouldn’t be thinking about or noticing right now:

Rosamunda shrieked as the darkly menacing villain approached. The wind whipped her hair and her skirts. She gasped. “You treacherous villain! You will never take me against my will! I know my hero will come to save me!” The villain let out a cackle that cracked like thunder in the stormy air. “I think not, my lovely. Not unless he can fly.” He stalked forward, hands outstretched like evil claws. “Tonight, you will be mine. Your petal-soft lips will yield to my punishing kisses and your dewy innocence will turn to knowledge of the carnal delights that await.” “Never!” Clutching her arms about her, Rosamunda turned. Tears welled in her eyes, she sobbed, and, like a lovely, doomed swan, stepped over the cliff edge.

You were paying attention, right? Did you see what I missed in that revision? The first person to leave a comment identifying the remaining phrase that pushes the borders of Rosamunda’s POV will earn an in-depth edit of five manuscript pages. Now, back to Rusamunda’s issues.

Next, we’ll trim away a lot of the adjectives, adverbs, and exclamation marks, because although they’re not a structural issue, they’re driving me loony each time I read them (which isn’t the effect we want our writing to have on our readers):

Rosamunda shrieked as the villain approached. The wind whipped her hair and her skirts. She gasped. “You villain. You will never take me against my will. I know my hero will come to save me.” The villain let out a cackle that cracked like thunder in the stormy air. “I think not, my lovely. Not unless he can fly.” He stalked forward, hands outstretched like claws. “Tonight, you will be mine. Your lips will yield to my kisses and your innocence will turn to knowledge of the carnal delights that await.” “Never.” Clutching her arms about her, Rosamunda turned. Tears welled in her eyes, and she sobbed and stepped over the cliff edge.

Time to look at a bigger issue: logic. See how in each version, she gasped is either referring to the way she speaks or is just stuck in the paragraph, presumably as a reaction to the effects of the wind or the villain? The first scenario doesn’t make sense unless Rosamunda is playing Elliot in E.T. (remember the scene where Elliot speaks only when he’s inhaling?) or the reader is aware of what, exactly, happened to cause the gasp. We could omit the gasp or we could add a few words to help it make sense.

Let’s add a few words, but not just yet, because this ties in with the next issue we’ll address: emotion.

We’ll add those words and discuss getting emotion on the page in the next post.

Until then, happy writing. ☺

Purple Prose: How to Recognize Your Own Overwriting

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:37:00 +0000

Zebra author Anthea Lawson kindly gave permission to share her example of what purple prose looks like.

(Note to my daintier readers: Anthea writes “spicy” romances, and her site reflects that.)

OK, set down your coffee before you read this so you don’t spray your monitor like I did when I read it. Ready?

Her alabaster bosom heaving, Rosamunda let out a maidenly shriek as the darkly menacing villain approached. Golden tresses whipped by the wind, her silken skirts molding to her voluptuous thighs and clinging lovingly to the mounds of her breasts, she gasped... “You treacherous villain! You will never take me against my will! I know my hero will come to save me!” The villain let out a cackle that cracked like thunder in the stormy air. “I think not, my lovely. Not unless he can fly.” He stalked forward, hands outstretched like evil claws. “Tonight, you will be mine. Your petal-soft lips will yield to my punishing kisses and your dewy innocence will turn to knowledge of the carnal delights that await.” “Never!” Clutching her arms about her, the beauteous Rosamunda turned. Tears welled in her sapphire eyes, she sobbed, and, like a lovely, doomed swan, stepped over the cliff edge.

Now, let’s figure out what makes the example above so purple.

We know strong writing is built with strong nouns and verbs, not modifiers—but of the 149 words in the example, 18 are adverbs or adjectives (that’s almost one word in eight):
alabaster
maidenly
darkly
menacing
golden
silken
voluptuous
lovingly
treacherous
stormy
forward
evil
petal-soft
punishing
dewy
carnal
beauteous
saphhire
lovely
doomed

On the other hand, there’s such a thing as using too many strong verbs in quick succession. Check out this list of over-the-top verbs:
heaving
shriek
whipped
molding
clinging
gasped
clutching

Clichés, anyone?
heaving alabaster bosom
dark villain
golden tresses
mounds of breasts
petal-soft lips
punishing kisses
dewy innocence
carnal delights
sapphire eyes

And count the exclamation points! Four of them in the equivalent of half a manuscript page! Eeek! If you can't limit yourself to one or two exclamation points per manuscript, try for one or two per chapter—and your in-house editor may still remind you that with exclamation points, less is more.

All right, now we have an idea what to look for when we’re eliminating shades of purple from our wips. We should feel free to write freely for that first, get-the-story-on-paper draft, but let’s remember to go back later and trim out the “lovely, doomed swans.”

Thanks to Anthea for her great example of purple prose, which in no way reflects her actual writing style.

Happy writing. ☺

So You Want to Write a Historical Novel

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:36:00 +0000

I have a guest blogger today—a talented author of historical novels, Laurie Alice Eakes.

Take it away, Laurie Alice . . .

Today, I started to read a book by one of my grad school mentors (thesis adviser). I already knew that Victoria Thompson is a talented writer and have consumed several of her Gaslight historical mysteries. This one, Murder in Chinatown, surpasses the other ones I've read, which is really saying something. The question is why? She has the same characters; the same setup of Sarah, her midwife heroine in late 19th century New York City, encountering a murder; and Detective Frank Malloy working with her to solve it. Classic mystery series plotting.

What makes this book stand out, are the details. As my husband put it, this story could not have been set anywhere else at any other time and been the same story.

To me, this is the definition of a true historical novel. It's not about the costumes or the language; it's about the whole picture, how the plot, characters, and historical setting are integral to one another.

If the story could take place in Regency England or Victorian San Francisco, it might be categorized as a historical novel, yet it falls short of the true spirit of the genre. Why? Because the details aren't refined enough, the research too minimally displayed, to give the reader a true experience of time-traveling into the past.

In Murder in Chinatown, Thompson points out that, at the time of her story, Chinese women were not allowed into the U.S.; therefore, Chinese men were marrying Irish women. The Chinese men made more money than and showed more respect for their wives than did the Irish men, so the women were better off. Right there, you have a setup that dates this story firmly in time and place. Earlier, you don't have the restriction on Chinese immigration. The Irish-Chinese integration is crucial to the plot with the melding—or is it clashing?—of cultures. Take out these historical details, and you have a different tale.

In my first book, The Widow's Secret, I use a real historical character, Sir John Fielding. That this Bow Street (London) magistrate was blind was crucial to solving the mystery surrounding my hypermetropic (far-sighted) heroine. Without his insight (no pun intended), the story would have had to go in a far different direction or not worked at all.

Tracie Peterson is another author gifted in taking real events and incorporating them into her novels. She doesn't use them gratuitously to enhance her story; she uses these events as an integral part of the story. Take out that event, and the story is not the same one. In A Lady of High Regard, her heroine is involved with Sarah Hale of Godey's Lady's Book Magazine, fame, and conditions amongst seamen's wives along the docks of Philadelphia. These are aspects that are unique to the story. Take them out, and the heroine has nothing to do.

And that is the key to writing a true historical novel, as opposed to a novel set in history—the story cannot be transported to another place or time.

Happy writing. ☺

Edgy Inspirational Fiction

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 19:00:00 +0000

Edgy inspirational fiction is fiction about flawed Christians living in the real world—without the sugar coating some feel is typical of traditional Christian fare.

Author Michelle Sutton is a driving force behind this fast-evolving genre, with her popular Edgy Inspirational Author blog. She’s also the editor in chief of Christian Fiction Online Magazine.

Even more exciting, she’s here at the Inspirational Editor blog today. ☺

Inspirational Editor: Your debut novel, It’s Not About Me, isn’t a typical YA Christian novel. It contains gritty violence and scenes that portray lust between Christian teens. What has early reader response been like?

Michelle: Believe it or not I've gotten nothing but rave reviews. Not a single unkind or critical remark.

Inspirational Editor: Why do you think that is?

Michelle: I think it'd be best to have the reviewers answer that question. According to one reviewer at About.com, “. . . it identifies with these issues and handles them in a way which glorifies God.”

See the entire review here.

And another reviewer for Romantic Times Book Reviews wrote, “. . .the exquisitely written spiritual content shows the reader that redemption is available, no matter what the circumstances.”
- 4 Stars Romantic Times!

Inspirational Editor: Wow, congratulations. How did you choose what you’d include or leave out, to make the novel a true picture of what it’s like to be a Christian teen facing sexual temptation without overstepping the bounds of what readers can handle?

Michelle: I prayed about it as I wrote. I also put myself in the scene and tried to come up with something that teens could relate to and understand.

Inspirational Editor: It really shows in the book. Yes, there’s brutal violence in the story. Yes, you portrayed strong sexual temptation. But the quality that makes this book rise above others is that none of these very strong elements come across as being included for shock value. Your characters are vividly real, and as they struggle through the fallout of a heinous act of violence, they make mistakes . . . and tough choices. And their triumph is hard won.

Thanks so much for writing this amazing book, Michelle. I’m pretty picky about recommending books for younger readers, but this one is a must read.

Happy writing!

Friendship: The Backbone of Women’s Fiction

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 00:38:00 +0000

Wow. I just finished reading Patti Lacy’s An Irishwoman’s Tale. What a powerful story. It took me a few days to recover emotionally. ☺

There are so many great things great things about this book, but I finally decided on the aspect of it that impressed me the most: the friendship between the main character, Mary, and her friend Sally.

Patti Lacy has graciously agreed to answer my questions about how—using an astonishingly small portion of the book—she showed such depth in the friendship between Mary and Sally.

Oh, and before we begin, take a few minutes to watch Kregel Publishing’s trailer—it truly captures the tone of the book and is riveting in its own right.

Go ahead . . . I’ll be waiting here with a nice cup of Irish breakfast tea made from the tea bag that Patti tucked in with my copy of An Irishwoman’s Tale. It has the cutest miniature book cover attached to the end of the string. For those of you who are in a marketing mood, this was a brilliant choice—it’s a complete sensory experience and ties in with the story. You just can’t beat the cuteness factor, and the tea is delicious. ☺

OK, have you watched the trailer? I told you it was good. Here’s a link to order the book.

Inspirational Editor: Hi, Patti. Thanks so much for being here (and for the tea).

Patti: I've heard the tea is good. I usually stick to green tea and BLACK coffee.

Inspirational Editor: Black coffee coming up. ☺ When we were talking about your dropping by Inspirational Editor, you told me how the trailer came together. The result was just terrific. Will you share that story here?

Patti: It's funny you liked the trailer, because it was pieced together as only God can do it!

My Irish friend with the lovely voice happened to have a nephew visiting Normal for a short window of time. Presto, we had the male and female voices. I went house hunting with a friend and recognized a portrait of a former Sunday school student hanging in the kitchen. Presto, we had a seven-year-old protagonist (“Mary.”) Mark, my Web designer/book trailer producer, noticed a striking girl with curly red hair at a mall shop’s makeup counter, and she was about the right age to play the adult Mary, “give or take a decade.”

Suddenly we had the cast; all we needed was film footage from Ireland. Enter Grace Bridges, a writer of Irish descent living in Australia but visiting her homeland. She made a special trip to the cliffs of County Clare, captured the beauty with her regular old video camera, and e-mailed files to Mark. My cousin’s husband closed the deal by getting permission for us to use the music of the Christian Celtic group, Eden’s Bridge.

With the help of old friends—and a couple of new ones—the An Irishwoman's Tale book trailer made its debut.

Inspirational Editor: How inspiring that Grace Bridges made a special trip to County Clare to help out a fellow author. This selfless is echoed in the book, when Mary’s friends go out of their way to help her—expecting nothing in return. Well, Michael hopes for romance but he’s a guy so we’ll forgive him. ☺

Sally has to be one of the most selfless friends I’ve met in a book or in real life. Yet the story isn’t about Sally, so you gave her a relatively small portion of pages. Could you share some of the process you used to choose which parts of Sally would best perform the roles of supporting Mary’s story and showing Sally’s unique personality? Because that deep, abiding friendship between women (whether they’re best friends, mother and daughter, or sisters) is the backbone of most women’s fiction.

Patti: I’m so glad you brought up this issue of friendship between women. Mary doesn’t begin the journey to heal until she trusts this new friend Sally with her secrets. Using the frame device with not much action in the sandwich chapters, I had to pack the early—and late—chapters with important dialogue between the two women. One occurs during the tennis scene, when Sally, this newcomer, takes Mary’s side against women Mary perceives as elite players who’ve formerly been out of her league. Sally’s rather unconventional humor lightens the woman burdened by her mother’s care and her daughters’ increasing resentment of said care.

Contrast was applied as heavily as cake foundation to a model’s face in the text because it serves to draw readers to both characters. Sally’s chubby, Mary’s reed thin. Sally’s gushy, Mary, reserved. If you made two columns of traits, just in that first meeting, you’d see tons of differences between Mary and Sally. Yet in their after-the-match talk, they find they are both Christians—and this is a natural arc. I hoped that the readers would at that point be drawn to BOTH women and consider them good friends even though they’d just met.

Inspirational Editor: I was. ☺

Patti: Contrast continues in the soup kitchen scene. Sally’s nervous around the black women, Mary draws them to her bosom like her own babies. Then when Sally cares enough about Mary’s feelings to lie for her at the book discussion group, Mary’s ready to tell Sally about her past—and begin the journey to her healing.

As my wonderful editor at Kregel pointed out, the book could be stronger if I would have had more action in those middle chapters between Mary and Sally—like in Fried Green Tomatoes. However, at that point, the book had been through three edits and needed to “move on down the line” to publication. I've tried to put more action in the middle chapters of my second novel.

Inspirational Editor: The question I’m dying to ask: Will Sally have her own book one day? (Please, please, pretty please . . .)

Patti: Yes, my second novel, Sally's story, is slated to release in spring of 2009.

Inspirational Editor: Yippee! ☺

Patti: Happy writing and reading!

Conflict: True or False?

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 00:56:00 +0000

Ever read a story and wish the characters would quit fretting and just take five minutes to have the simple conversation that would sort out the misunderstanding they’re going through? A story where that misunderstanding is the sum of the conflict between the characters? It leaves you feeling a little grouchy at the author, hmm?

That non-conflict is called “false conflict,” and as writers, we need to be able to spot it in our manuscripts. Not so we can just strip it out, but so we can go back in there and get the characters to make actual choices and take real actions that will drive them further apart—into a situation that can’t be solved with a mere conversation. In other words, we need to be mean to our characters, even to hurt them.

Say Sally sees Henry giving his ex-wife a hug, while the reader knows the hug is a pity hug and nothing more, and that the ex-wife is, say, dying. Is Sally hurt by what she saw? Sure. Is Henry still totally committed to his and Sally’s marriage? Yes. Can the situation be resolved with a conversation? Sure, eventually. So is there true conflict? No.

Now, what if Sally reacted not by sulking or crying or actually talking to Henry about her hurt feelings, but by getting back at Henry by starting an affair with his best friend (I am not by any means advising this as an ideal response), and Henry finds out? Is Sally hurt? Deeply. Is Henry hurt? Profoundly. (Yeah, too many adverbs, I know. ☺) Is the best friend put in a horrible predicament? You bet. Can any of this be resolved with a conversation? Never. There’s your conflict—true conflict.

Your assignment: Wherever a conversation can solve your characters’ problems, get those characters to make choices and take actions that create situations they can’t talke themselves out of.

Happy writing!

How to Write an Effective Synopsis for your Novel

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:12:00 +0000

We talked before about how not to write a synopsis, so now let’s look at some ways to make your synopsis do its job, which is to convey your novel in a few pages.

Agents and editors are not just being mean and making an extra hoop for you to jump through when they say they need a synopsis. They need this handy and powerful tool to help them see the story at a glance and know immediately whether it’s marketable, to whom it’s marketable, and—if it’s not quite “there”—where it might need a little work to become marketable.

These people want your novel to succeed—so give your best effort to help them help you. Yep, that means learning to write an effective synopsis.

Character, plot, and voice are the elements you’ll want to focus on.

Character: Novels are about people. A synopsis is about the people in your story and what happens to them. In order to care about what happens to your story people, readers (we’re talking agents, editors, and so on at this stage) need to know your characters. So be a good hostess and make introductions. Let your readers know what’s really at the core of your characters’ lives. Here, we’ll look at a one-character synopsis, though you’ll certainly want to address each POV character in your novel.

Not-so-effective introduction: Jane is a thirty-year-old blond veterinarian with a limp.

More effective introduction: Jane dedicated her veterinary career to helping abandoned and neglected dogs—until one of her patients turned on her and brutally mangled her leg. Now she questions everything she’s worked toward.

Plot: Just the facts are necessary here, but make sure you don’t leave out any major plot points. In the interest of brevity, we’ll look at a simplistic plot.

Not-so-effective plot summary: A dog mauls Jane, many harrowing events happen, and Jane recovers emotionally and physically from her injuries. (Hmm, detect anything missing in this one?)

More effective plot summary (note that the numbers are for clarity and should not be used in an actual synopsis): 1. Jane is horribly injured by an abused dog. 2. Looking into the dog’s past, she uncovers an illegal breeding operation that produces dog combatants for high-stakes dogfights; she reports it to the authorities so they can rescue the dogs. 3. When the authorities move to have all the dogs destroyed, Jane, though still recovering from her injuries, organizes an evacuation of the dogs. 4. Jane secretly works to rehabilitate the dogs. 5. The original owner of the dogs breaks in to Jane’s facility to steal the dogs back and takes Jane hostage, and Jane’s most dangerous, almost incorrigible, rescued dog subdues the attacker without harming him; Jane’s rescue operation is then fully supported by the community and the authorities.

Now let’s work the character arc into the plot summary:

1. Jane dedicated her veterinary career to performing the good deed of helping abandoned and neglected dogs—until one of her patients turns on her and brutally mangles her leg. Now she questions everything she’s worked toward. 2. Looking into the dog’s past, she uncovers an illegal breeding operation that produces dog combatants for high-stakes dogfights; feeling her efforts to help have been largely useless and have resulted in nothing more than her injuries, she reports the operation to the authorities so they can rescue the dogs. 3. When the authorities move to have all the dogs destroyed, Jane, though still recovering from her injuries, realizes that despite her recent failure and her new and very real fear of being attacked by dogs, she is the only one who can help them, so she organizes an evacuation of the dogs. 4. Jane sees immediately that rescue isn’t enough—these dogs need rehabilitation; she must hide her fear and present a confident front as she secretly works to rehabilitate the dogs. 5. The original owner of the dogs breaks in to Jane’s facility to steal the dogs back and takes Jane hostage, and Jane’s most dangerous, almost incorrigible, rescued dog, the one who mauled her—despite his vicious killer instincts and his training as a fighting dog—subdues the attacker without harming him. Jane’s rescue operation is then fully supported by the community and the authorities; though some of the animals must be euthanized, Jane adopts the dog that once attacked her but now shares a relationship built on trust and respect, dedication and kindness—now, rather than seeing her rescue operation as a mere good deed, she has gained a deep appreciation for the bond between humans and animals.

That was less than three hundred words, so I'm sure you can manage to fit a good, solid synopsis in the space of the five hundred to a thousand words generally allowed for a synopsis.

Voice: Once you have your plot and character arc outlined, you can go through your synopsis and tweak the wording so it conveys your unique writing style. Are you hilarious? Suspenseful? Wittily snarky? Now that your synopsis is structurally solid, you can feel free to let your voice shine.

How to handle backstory: An effective way to use backstory in the synopsis is to put it in past tense and work it into the first sentence or so. Use just the amount of backstory that’s essential to the reader’s understanding of the plot and characters. Trust me, less is more.

Happy Writing!

How Not To Write a Synopsis—and Why (a.k.a. pet peeve ☺)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:21:00 +0000

The most important thing you need to understand about a synopsis is its dual purpose. First, it puts your story in a small, attractive package to catch and hold the eye of an agent or acquisitions editor. Second, it conveys the major turning points in the story’s plot and outlines the character arcs (and the faith journey, for inspirational fiction), which helps an agent or editor decide whether the story would be marketable.

Let’s compare the synopsis to a road map:
• They both show the route you’ll take to your destination.
• They both indicate perils and pitfalls along the way.
• They both indicate the entertaining stops along the way.
• They both show the location of your destination.

What’s that? You think a synopsis is most effective when it leaves a little to the imagination? When it withholds information crucial to the plot or the character arcs?

Oh, dear. That’s just not the way it works in publishing.

Putting an incomplete synopsis in the hands of an agent or an editor is like tearing a road map in half and presenting it to the person who’s supposed to steer the car to your vacation destination.

Now, an inexperienced driver with nothing to lose might take that trip with you. Reputable literary agents and acquisitions editors who work for traditional publishing houses are not inexperienced drivers.

Here’s an example of what goes through the mind of an industry professional in the presence of an incomplete synopsis: “Where does this map lead? Is the road in good shape the whole way? Does the road lead to the promised destination or does it veer off and peter out in a swamp? Do I want to go on a road trip with someone who wants to keep this information from me? . . . Sorry, I’ll pass on this one.”

So before you submit your synopsis, make sure it conveys all the major plot points of your story and outlines the main players’ character arcs. You’ll find you meet much more success on your journey to publication.

Happy writing!

The Little Lady Agency

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:05:00 +0000

Have you ever read a book that struck you as an outstanding example of good writing? For me, the most recent book like that was Hester Brown's The Little Lady Agency.

At first glance, almost every "rule" of writing seems to be broken. But upon closer inspection (and I tell you, it was difficult to inspect this book without being caught up in the story and the heroine), Ms. Browne is a master of characterization. I mean, the slightly plump English heroine has already been done, right? But Melissa/Honey is a new twist on an old idea, and you just have to love her.

An interesting note for those of you who prefer your fiction clean: Ms. Browne is a master at that too—even when Melissa/Honey takes a job with an escort agency. ☺

Way to go, Hester Browne.

Even if you don't write "fluff," I encourage you to check out The Little Lady Agency. It looks like fluff, but isn't. Not an easy trick to pull off.

Happy writing!

Sagging Middles: How to Give Them a Boost

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:49:00 +0000

You’re in the middle of your wip, and ugh, it’s sagging. Nothing major is going on, because you’ve saved all the good stuff for the end. Which in turn has made your middle sag. What to do?

Take a lesson from the fantastically talented Debbie Macomber, who writes deep, rich relationship stories that, were they people, would be gentle lovers rather than thrill-a-minute one-night stands.

I’m currently reading Ms. Macomber’s Susannah’s Garden.

The story has four main characters:

Susannah—returned to her hometown to settle her mother in an assisted-living facility . . . and revisit her past.

Vivian—Susannah’s mother, who is quickly losing her memory.

Chrissie—Susannah’s daughter, who is newly involved with a shady fellow.

Carolyn—Susannah’s close friend, who has built emotional walls to keep romance away.

At a particularly intense moment of the story, I happened to notice this moment coincided with the physical middle of the book.

Let’s look at what was going on in the middle of the story:

Susannah just plunked down a thousand dollars with her credit card in order to track down her first true love—and she didn’t tell her husband.

Vivian’s attempts at hiding her memory loss just caused Susannah to speak with the nurses about Vivian’s mental decline.

Chrissie just took off and didn’t tell Susannah where she was going, or with whom.

Carolyn just made a date with a man she barely knows, other than that he’s a drifter, and to whom she’s profoundly attracted.

Within a few more chapters, Susannah’s digging up the past reveals details she can never unlearn (I won’t spoil the story here, so you’ll have to read it to see what Susannah learns).

Sagging middle? No way.

So look at your middle. Nothing major going on? There should be. And the more characters who are simultaneously going through a major upheaval, the less saggy your middle will be.

Go ahead, hit your beloved characters where it hurts most. Your middle—and your readers—will thank you.

Happy writing!

Have You Weeded Your Novel Today?

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:20:00 +0000

Once the big pieces of your novel are in place (plot, scene structure, characterization, etc.), it’s time to look at each sentence and eliminate weedy words to tighten up your writing. Here are a few “weeds” to watch out for:

• She shrugged her shoulders. → She shrugged.

• She blinked her eyes. → She blinked.

• She nodded her head. → She nodded.

• She waved her hand. → She waved. (Exceptions: She waved her foot, she waved a flag, etc.)

• She stood to her feet. → She stood.

• She knelt down. → She knelt.

• She swallowed it down. → She swallowed it.

Did you try it? That didn’t hurt much, did it?

Happy Writing!

Know What Your Scene Is About

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 17:29:00 +0000

It may seem like a no-brainer, but to write a cohesive, effective scene, you first must know what your scene is about—and how it fits into the overall story. Here are a few elements to consider.

Open the scene with a clear sense of direction. The first few sentences should let the reader know what the character needs to accomplish in the immediate future—the scene goal. Take a look at the opening of each of your scenes. If you’ve meandered a bit, and the beginning of the scene really starts three paragraphs down the page, then go ahead and start there. Eliminate the flab, and your scene will be fit, trim, and effective.

A scene needs relevant conflict. Conflict opposes the character’s scene goal. Note that a mere distraction doesn’t count. Say Jane is in love with her boss. If Jane’s goal is to deliver a bouquet of roses to her boss’s fiancée (Jane’s best friend), and she has to stop to get a flat tire fixed but still delivers the flowers on time, there’s no conflict. But if the flat tire makes Jane so late that when she delivers the flowers she finds her best friend in the arms of the boss’s rival and now must choose whether to tell her boss about the infidelity (either way, the two people she loves will be hurt), then there’s relevant conflict. If Jane is chronically negligent about her car, then the flat tire is also good characterization.

A scene needs a disaster that raises the stakes. We’re not talking about an earthquake or a giant, city-smashing lizard here, at least not for every scene. A scene disaster wrenches away the achievement of the scene goal—as in Jane’s example above, where she cannot possibly accomplish the task of delivering the flowers. A neat twist to a scene can also involve the achievement of the goal but with disastrous results. Say Jane is filled with indignation and throws the flowers in her best friend’s face and inadvertently blurts out her indignation over her friend’s betrayal, especially right now when she’s supposed to be working on the business proposal of a lifetime, which—oops—the rival really ought not to have been privy to. Now a simple mission—delivering flowers—has caused true conflict and created a major plot twist.

Every scene needs to be a cohesive part of the overall plot. If a scene doesn’t have an impact on the outcome of the overarching story, and you can’t tweak it so that it does, cut that scene. Your story will be stronger for it. Within the scenes that move the plot forward, every line needs to be relevant to that scene. And honing in on the tiniest details, every word choice needs to convey the mood of the scene, whether it’s dark and brooding, an adrenaline rush, or sweet and romantic.

Remember, effective fiction puts emotion on the pages through scene and story structure, word choices, and inherent conflict.

Happy writing!

The Truth about Manuscript Formatting (and how to do it right)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:40:00 +0000

First, Juanita is the winner of Laurie Alice Eakes's Better than Gold. Juanita, please e-mail your snail mail addy to info (at) inspirationaleditor.com and I'll make sure your book goes into the mail right away.

True or False: Agents and acquisitions editors are meanies who use manuscript-formatting rules as a way to punish authors.

Um, that’s false.

Manuscript formatting guidelines are designed to help you showcase your manuscript in a professional manner.

Important: If the agent or editor you’re targeting has provided specific formatting guidelines, follow them to the letter. Check online—most places do post their guidelines on a page with a title like Manuscript Submissions.

If guidelines are not available, here are a few of the finer points of manuscript formatting, with the reasons publishing professionals make such specific requests:

Double-spacing is not a waste of paper. Imagine having to read hundreds of manuscript pages a day. Single-spaced. Think of the eyestrain. Is that what you want to subject your target editor or agent to?

Contact information on every page is not a waste of printer ink. Imagine falling in love with a story whose cover letter has been misplaced. Egad—you’d pine away the rest of your life, dreaming about the best seller that got away. Add a header to every page, with at least your book’s title, your real name, and your e-mail address or phone number.

Page numbers are not optional. Publishing professionals are real people who occasionally shuffle stacks of paper and even drop manuscripts on the floor from time to time. Even the most coordinated person can find a manuscript knocked or blown from her desk. And if you’re not Debbie Macomber, your agent or editor is not going to have the time to put your manuscript back together like a jigsaw puzzle. (I’m sure Debbie Macomber always numbers her manuscript pages.)

Margins are your friends. Imagine having a brilliant flash of constructive criticism—but alas, there’s no room on the manuscript to write it down. So you don’t. When you leave an inch and a quarter of open space on all four sides of the page, as well as three to five inches at the top of each new chapter, you are making your manuscript an inviting place for helpful comments.

Times New Roman and Courier New are the standard fonts. They’re easy on the eyes, they’re what publishing professionals expect to see, and they’re the only fonts you should use when you submit a manuscript. Use just one of these fonts per manuscript. If you must use Comic Sans Serif, fine, but only in e-mails to your mom.

Paper weight and color are a couple of the things that your agent or editor will notice first about your manuscript. Use 24-pound white paper. It costs a little more than copier paper, but you can’t see through one page to the words on the page behind it. Well worth the few extra pennies. Colored paper is best suited for letters—to your mom. You’re presenting yourself as a professional in a world of professionals, so use 24-pound white paper. Please.

Assuming, of course, you are not a meanie who’s using your manuscript to punish agents and acquisitions editors. ☺

Happy Writing!

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Lohrer) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:22:00 +0000

Laurie Alice Eakes is an author whose work I’ve admired for a long time, and I’m so excited to have her here to share her writing process with us. We’re doing something fun with this blog tour—it’s one big conversation that overlaps from one blog to the next. So enjoy!

For the question to Laurie Alice’s first answer, plus another chance to win a copy of Better than Gold, visit Louise Gouge’s blog Tuesday, March 18 2008.

Laurie Alice: Patricia Veryan. She’s very old and no longer writing, and every one of her books is worth keeping and rereading. Why? Because she creates characters you want to keep around you, and stories that ignite your imagination. She also didn’t get published until she was something like 62, and her stories lacked no energy and romance and adventure for all that. Her characters have depth, while her stories have rich plots.

Inspirational Editor: What comes to you first: the characters or the plot?

Laurie Alice: The plot usually comes first. An idea for a situation pops into my head, and I fill out what sorts of characters would work in that situation.

Inspirational Editor: I know you plot extensively before you write. Tell us what that that initial process looks like for you.

Laurie Alice: Very incoherent. I start by jotting down random thoughts on what could happen. Then I start asking the all-important “Why?” Why would they do this? Why would this make that happen? Why would they want to—? Motive is the weakest point I see in manuscripts I critique and judge, so I work hard to make it right. I don’t believe in “They’re just bad.” I’ve read too many criminal profiling books to believe this to be true.

But getting back to my plotting process . . .

I work on the major plot points next, writing them down in one sentence, usually a short one. The inciting episode, the places where the characters cannot turn back, and the dark moment. When does the character enter the “special world,” as the mythic structure of story goes? Why? Then I like to have an ending in mind, a good idea of the resolution.

Once I’ve settled this, I start a spreadsheet. I like Excel for this, mainly because it’s easy to manipulate with adding rows and columns. I have headers like Chapter, Scene and Sequel, who is the point of view character, which characters are in the scene, then the classic goal or reaction, conflict or dilemma, disaster or decision. My last two columns are emotional impact on the characters and how does the scene or sequel move the story forward.

Mind you, sometimes my plots don’t work and have to be revised.

Inspirational Editor: I can’t think of any writer who comes up with a plot that doesn’t need revision. You’re in good company.

You always employ solid structure, yet each of your stories is fresh and unique. How do you combine the two (and make it look so effortless)?

Laurie Alice: That, I think, comes down to characters. One can have two plots that are basically the same, and if the characters are totally different, then the stories will be, too. For me, I like to explore different locations and time periods, too, which helps. But I can get my characters into all sorts of different situations to keep the stories different from one another.

Inspirational Editor: How many drafts do you typically write before your manuscripts are ready to submit to a publishing house? Which structural elements do you refine in
each successive draft? (If it’s one draft, I’m gonna drive down there and get my puppy to bite your ankle ).

Laurie Alice: Yikes! I only write one draft of chapter two on. Chapter one goes through about three drafts. In grad school at Seton Hill University, I learned that one shouldn’t waste time on more than one draft if one plans ahead.

But I give a story about three edits. First of all, I go through for scenes or sections that are just unnecessary, that slow down the pacing, sound too much like another scene, don’t advance the plot. Then I look for inconsistencies. This is real detail work. Next, I look for grammar and typos and wrong word usage. Finally, I send it to a good copyeditor.

Inspirational Editor: It’s often said that authors should study recently published novels to get a solid idea of what kind of story structure agents and acquisitions editors
are looking for. In romance novels, what are the biggest changes in story structure you’ve seen in the last ten years?

For Laurie Alice’s answer, plus another chance to win a copy of Better than Gold, visit
Melanie Dickerson’s blog.

Happy writing!