Roxy.Z

Niche?

2011-12-12T16:50:00.001+08:00

Have you found your niche?
Do you know what you want to do with your life?
Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

Common questions in everyday life and of course, in interviews as well.
Questions that can be tuned to what you want your prospective employer to hear, and to your favor.

What is your true answer?
Is this what you want?

Everyone have a dream, a dream they can achieve, and a dream they cant achieve.

I have a dream too.
I have dreams in fact.
I work them slowly but surely just like everyone else.

There used to be a time i wish there was a fast forward button where i could enjoy my rewards.
Then i realized how true it was, when they say working for your rewards is much sweeter then the those that dropped on your laps.

There are so many things in life, we want.
What do you truly want?
Is the tangible things always the first, or the non-tangible things?

Life

2011-12-01T23:53:00.001+08:00

When the knifes start stabbing, with the untruth accusation of many

Where you realize there seems to be no one to trust

When you have to turn your back every time just to keep a lookout

When the stress mounts and collapses among your weak heart and soul

When you feel your energy saps away oh so much

When you snapped at the closest one who is always there

Then one day you come to a realization that everything on earth would amount to nothing

Then you realize there is nothing more thankful then living to the tune of God.

Then you realize the tremendous joy and comfort the Lord can provide

Then you truly understand the meaning of Sabbath

Then you know this is his way, all the way.

Then is when living is possible

Life and its fragility

2011-11-10T00:19:00.001+08:00

Life filled with so much energy
In a day, these energy are being expended to daily activities.
But the more tiring of all activities is the affairs of emotions.
Anger, sadness, disappointment, all the negatives just drains you away totally.
I have been drained these past few weeks.
I came to understand one point. Don't bother and move on. Life is much happier.

Wanderlust

2011-10-05T12:25:00.000+08:00

Oh, quench this thirst of mine,

To roam the streets of Knightsbridge.

To gaze at the armeniacum in the fields.

To feel the cold breeze in the air

To taste the crab cakes beside the sea

To hear the Queen's English.

To smell the crisp fresh air.

Happy.

Away

2011-04-20T22:22:00.001+08:00

Away i go.

Away i travelled.

Away away here we go.

New Year

2011-01-01T04:45:00.002+08:00

The new year is here.
It's an awesome day if you never notice. Its 1/1/11.
As i'm typing, my other peeps are watching inception.
Its been a while since i spent my time this late.
The previous time was when i had to do my project and that was 2 years back.
This was really a year of ups and downs.
But I thank God for everything.

Happy New Year ! !

Things to do before I die.

2010-11-22T18:04:00.000+08:00

What would you want to do before you die?
There is probably just one or maybe a thousand and one.
Maybe instead of a new year resolution, probably i will do a list of things to do before i die.
Have not decided yet.

On a sidenote, thinking about what to put on the list always makes me feel so many things. (okay, i am probably not making any sense here).

'Tower of Babel'

2010-09-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

Do you know the story of the tower of Babel?

Tower of Babel, a summarization for those who don't know is the entire human race building a tower to reach the heavens.

Everyone had the same language, able to communicate and want to reach heavens to be able to meet God and probably be like God themselves.

It was never completed because God came down and confused the language of the world.

In our modern time and day now, are we also building a 'Tower of Babel'?

There are many things going on outside, technological advances, medical advances, the debate on abortion, voluntary euthanasia. Our hands touching on subjects that used to be part of the unknown. We are getting smarter each day, and i might even dare say, we are getting to be like the 3 O's, Omniscience, Omnipotence, Omnipresence.

Just recently, Stephen Hawking, a famous physicist declared in his own words, "God did not create the universe." Stephen Hawking Revelation
But well, i think it's just publicity for his new book.
And everything is theory on itself, for if M theory can prove the nonexistent God, M theory can also prove there is a God.
But then i would have to go into quantum physics and that is not yet my expertise at the moment. I just leave with 2 links for you to decipher.
String Theory
M Theory

Perseverance

2010-08-10T13:37:00.001+08:00

It's been a long long while. Last month was a hectic month with my first official exams.
I pray that I get good grades. The most worrisome subject would be Finance Management.
Sadly there is no break at all. ):
Immediately, before even the dust settled, came the new timetable for the next semester. ):
I'm so ARGH!
But thank God, I had a short break during the national day long weekend holidays with friends.
Glad that both good friends joined the retreat. (:
As both are contemplating to understand and maybe accept. I praise God. (:
During the retreat, i learned quite a number of revelations and new things and really thank God for all these.
But the most important thing is not really learning nor just understanding, but really applying it to life. (:
To pray with confidence, patience and humility.
I thank God for everyone.
God encompass Love.
It's time for my busy work now. (:
A lot of work waiting for me. It's time to start the motor. (:

A question i wonder.

2010-07-05T02:30:00.000+08:00

Recently, i have been pondering about this question.

Ok, more of this equation instead. Does anyone know how to solve this?

Apparently I have to take this equation and open up another equation to be able solve this.

The mind is happy with an equation in the brain to solve the answer before proceeding to the next.

The intrigue and complexity of this makes me yearn for more.

The interesting one leaves me begging for more.

The love for such was never felt till i grew much older now.

Random the Rigid.

2010-06-28T16:25:00.001+08:00

I feel under the water.
I feel so busy.
I feel so pressured.
I feel the stress.
I feel so much.

I gotta slow down.
I gotta think less.
I gotta relax.
I gotta be less.
I gotta stop.

1) Rushing through projects that i had to pass up ceases my time. Exams around the corner forces me to study to get a good grade for a good honors degree.

2)Working in the day was a drag for a while, but i'm getting the drive back. I want to achieve many things. But talk is all there is now. Action has not started. I have to start making my move.

3)I got to start planning my time, the weekdays are always kept busy with work and study. The weekends a total privilege to spend with the family and church.

4)Time isn't a problem. I just have to make full good use of it.

Reality

2010-05-19T11:07:00.001+08:00

A dream I'm living in.
A reality that I can feel.
I feel so much.
Something I did not know.
My temper mellow.
I feel at peace.
No longer am I thinking much.
Because only you cloud mine.
Thank you for making my dream a reality.
A reality that is a dream.

Push.

2010-05-04T08:49:00.000+08:00

Your mind is a rock amidst the waves of throbbing emotions from the heart.
My mind is a fish swimming in sync with the waves of emotions from the heart.

I speak with my heart ruling my head.
You speak with your head ruling your heart.

The pain i feel is like a dagger through my heart.
The pain i feel like a betrayal to my own.

I feel like a kid awaiting something that might never come.
I feel vulnerable, like the dandelion easily blown.

Maybe on the swing, one day you will push me.
And when you do, I will soar.

Day.

2010-04-16T19:00:00.000+08:00

Every day,events happen.
Every day,a life is born and taken.
Every day, happiness and sorrows happen.
Every day,something happen.
Some days are more special then the others.
But a day is just a day.
The sun will still rise and set.
Time will never stop.
The waves will never stop crushing.
But to know that you will never be alone anymore on a particular day makes that day for me to remember.

Dream

2010-04-12T23:37:00.000+08:00

Who will share a dream of highs and lows of uncertainity with me?
Away from the eyes of many,this dream where we have our fantasies revealed.
This dream where we watch the sunset and sunrise everyday.
This dream where you look into my eyes and tell me you wanna spend a lifetime with me.
This dream where you hug me and tell me this is how you will hold me for eternity.
This dream where we will always be we, never changing for the world.

Randomize.

2010-04-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

1) School has started. The class still the same. The subjects totally different. I hope I can understand the concepts. It's the first week and I'm under stress. :(

2) V7 is out. Though I'm not as excited as the hey years, but I can also see the decline in it as there were no queues/credit/people at it at all. Wondered if there was e-amuse at dbg. V7 also have the feeling of incompleteness I guess due to the lack of theme. Tested out the guitar portion but not the drums yet.

3) Easter Sunday was a headache not because of the service but because I couldn't sleep the day before! A nightmare it was to want to sleep but not being able to. Tossing and turning in bed is a bad idea when you have sunrise service and had to be up at 0530, but thankfully, I did not fall asleep in both services.

4)Various friends seem to be getting married and getting a flat seems to be the priority. I heard that flat prices have shot up through the roof and I wonder how the goverment wants young couples to have kids yet basic needs are too expensive to even sustain or get. How would a young couple be able to feed an extra mouth when housing prices are rocket high and expenses in singapore are quite high?

5) As I'm sitting down gazing up the sky, I wondered if I didn't lie, would things have turned out this way?
Would there be a change? I do not know how things might have turned out if I didn't lie. Maybe the status quo would have been so much different. It might never changed. Relationships would never change. Life would never change. I don't know what happened that day that prompted me to make that decision. A mystery maybe.

6) Sometimes, I wondered am I a person that let people who are my 'friends' walk over me. I know what they are trying to do but yet I close an eye. Maybe I see it as just part and parcel of life? I really hate it but yet I can't find the strength to resist it. Even though I ain't easily swayed but on context of friends, the line gets easily blurred. Many times, phrases of ' on account of our friendship' are being spoken, the rules relaxed and things changed. Sometimes, Im on my way to full confrontation but then I always stop and ponder and let it go. But letting go meant I always remember, for there was no way to justify except to remember what had happened and hope it never happened again.

No worries.

2010-04-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

I might hide many things from you,
But do know my heart is true.

Seeing you makes me happy,
And I too hope it's true for you.

The worries of mine disappear,
Once the moment you appear.

I never regret any single thing,
I willing to give you everything.

I told you I can't promise you I won't lie,
But do know I will never make you sad.

I never want to see you cry,
Because I know I will die.

Sorry a common word I say,
And I know no worries is what you say.

Promise

2010-03-27T02:07:00.000+08:00

Maybe one day, she will fade into oblivion.
Maybe one day, she will be forgotten.
Maybe one day, she will be gone.

She shouldn't make the promise because she is limited.
Limited by space.
Limited by a certain time.
Limited by things.
For she is only human.

She cannot promise you that she will be there when you are upset.
She cannot promise that she won't feel a thing if you do stupid things.
She cannot promise that she wont do stupid things.
She cannot promise many things.

All she wants now is for you to be happy. And then she is happy.

Answer.

2010-03-20T15:27:00.000+08:00

I knew the answer long ago.
The time you wrote it for all to see.
The answer was hidden.

I knew the answer long ago.
When by chance we met.
Across the seat, i saw it happened.
I just put it down to wind.

I knew the answer long ago.
During the car ride we sat.
The one question i asked.
And you replied: " A mystery I am."
I thought to myself maybe i heard it wrong.
I thought to myself it might not be.

I knew the answer long ago.
But yet for once it was direct.
The phone beeped.
I knew the answer long ago.

Pain

2010-03-18T05:35:00.000+08:00

The head is in pain
The result of much thinking
It never stops till he slept
Maybe like Socrates all he have to do is to push himself to the hemlock
Then maybe finally he might have peace.

Random Notes.

2010-03-07T02:16:00.001+08:00

1) I am currently thinking hard about a degree in philosophy. The only thing that is stopping me is , the difference between studying for philosophy and learning philosophy. To me, philosophy is all about the individual mind thinking. In ways, the course do have thinking skills but yet they do expect students to study the history of philosophy which I am not keen on. Anyway, this is just a side track on my main degree.

2) For the past 1 year and so, I have been researching on free will. It seems that most conversations with close friends always lead me to that topic uninitiated. Just recently, a friend of mine broached the subject on having sex in a relationship. He was talking so loud in Starbucks that I was wondering what other people were wondering. The conversation was enlightening and it somehow went into the topic of free will. I have not made up my mind about it though.

3) Also recently, I went to a dialogue by Dr Thio Li Ann. Most people will know her as the NMP or maybe by the AWARE saga. She was mainly talking about standing in the 'GAP' and the various laws that we as citizens can do. Interesting and thought provoking but nothing surprising. Sort of envisioned what she would say. In person, she is a really straight arrow and quite a funny person. Oh ya, she is like super intelligent! She went to all Ivy League universities. Interesting talk. Made me pondered a while.

4) Remember my previous random notes on taking photos of every Starbucks. I am 60% done. Am hoping by this year, I could be able to finish it. And did I mention, the Starbucks in US has this 'quote' thingy on their cup. It's a project called 'The Way I See It'. Their hot beverages cup has quotes on it. I submitted one of my own just for the fun of it not expecting any reply of course. BUT they REPLIED !!! Guess whose on cup # ,can't remember number. Kinda long. But yeah. :D

5) These few days, I was thinking of giving up. I recently plurked, "is it karma that I ignored many, that the one I really want to talk to ignores me?" A person who is interesting AND surprising intrigues me, but I do not in turn entail the same results for the person, it seems. Today, I had a fortune cookie. In it, it wrote, " your efforts will be worthwhile." Even though I do not believe in any of this, but it gave me back hope that maybe I should just keep trying till the person finds me too irritating and prolly , I guess the END.

It's a late night now. The night is brillant, the winds a blowing, I see 5 stars in the night, I wish for peace. (:

Memory.

2010-03-06T04:18:00.000+08:00

Memory a gift and a curse at the same time.
A gift in good times.
A curse in bad times.
The only consolation is age for memories will fade away.
Maybe, only maybe, we have more good memories so that we can override the bad.

Boom De Ya Da.

2010-02-26T21:58:00.001+08:00

I have been watching Discovery Channel for the longest time. When this commercial came out, it made me smile involuntary and no, i am not a psycho.
This world has so much to offer and being stuck in a rut is not the way to go.

Enjoy this. :D

The world is just AWESOME !
P/S - ( There are other variations as well, all equally as nice.)

Silence

2010-02-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

The letters typed on the screen.
He looked in disbelief.
His heart froze.
His whole body turned cold.
He knew it was over.

She came by, he hugged her.
He kept quiet.
Together they walked out hand in hand.

New Year.

2010-02-14T01:05:00.001+08:00

"The New Year"

So this is the new year.

And i don't feel any different.

The clanking of crystal

Explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

So this is the new year

And I have no resolutions

For self assigned penance

For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on

Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once

Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn

As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days

Then i could travel just by folding a map

No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways

There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year