Roxy.Z

2016

2016-08-14T14:50:00.002+08:00

Why?

Am I the only one to bear all consequences?

It's been nearly 3 years, but so much has changed in my life.

I welcomed the most awesome person in my life.

With him, comes so much sacrifice.

I am so tired but all that disappears when I hear him laugh, smile and sleep peacefully.

It's been very trying, very trying.

But I love you baby. We will work this out slowly and surely with God.

Walls

2014-01-13T10:19:00.001+08:00

2014
You have been lonely for far too long.
You have found the one who has captured your heart.
You know you cannot find another.
You know this is fate.

Why is this such a tease?
Why do we falter so much?
Why do we fail?
Why oh why?

Oh Lord, speak to us.
Oh Lord, we pray on bended knees
Oh Lord, lead us
Oh Lord, only you know

Let me in the walls
You've built around
We can light a match
And burn them down
Let me hold your hand
And dance 'round and 'round the flames

Life

2013-05-10T12:19:00.002+08:00

Life has sure changed a lot over so many years.
Its been so long, since i blogged.
Its really different when i look back and where i am now.

I found a job i love so much.
I have graduated
I am going on though.

Traveled to a far away country every year - expenses paid
Learning is an everyday thing

I thank God for everything.

Many things, i am still learning.
Many things, i am still trying out

Away they go

2012-05-26T01:52:00.001+08:00

A long hiatus,

to think before the action,

to rethink and learn.

A de sentir les roses en Paris,

die um die alpen in der Schweiz sehen,

die pralinen in Belgien zu essen,

auf ein bier in Deutschland trinken,

beobachten fahrrader in Amsterdam.

All the wonders i see and feel,

I know who to thank

The one above and here on earth.

One Day

2012-05-01T01:53:00.000+08:00

Do you think there are plantonic friendship?
Friendships between the opposite sex.
I have a best friend.
He is a guy.
I love him very much.
But as a friend.
He is the shoulder when i cry,
He is the one i seek when i have a problem,
He knows all my secrets,
He finishes my sentences,
I love him very much
But as a friend.

Aye 2012.

2012-02-29T23:37:00.001+08:00

New year, kinda been a while.
Seen whats life...
Know whats life..
A new chapter soon..
Graduating soon...
Hows life gonna be now..
Everything in the hands of God...

Niche?

2011-12-12T16:50:00.001+08:00

Have you found your niche?
Do you know what you want to do with your life?
Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

Common questions in everyday life and of course, in interviews as well.
Questions that can be tuned to what you want your prospective employer to hear, and to your favor.

What is your true answer?
Is this what you want?

Everyone have a dream, a dream they can achieve, and a dream they cant achieve.

I have a dream too.
I have dreams in fact.
I work them slowly but surely just like everyone else.

There used to be a time i wish there was a fast forward button where i could enjoy my rewards.
Then i realized how true it was, when they say working for your rewards is much sweeter then the those that dropped on your laps.

There are so many things in life, we want.
What do you truly want?
Is the tangible things always the first, or the non-tangible things?

Life

2011-12-01T23:53:00.001+08:00

When the knifes start stabbing, with the untruth accusation of many

Where you realize there seems to be no one to trust

When you have to turn your back every time just to keep a lookout

When the stress mounts and collapses among your weak heart and soul

When you feel your energy saps away oh so much

When you snapped at the closest one who is always there

Then one day you come to a realization that everything on earth would amount to nothing

Then you realize there is nothing more thankful then living to the tune of God.

Then you realize the tremendous joy and comfort the Lord can provide

Then you truly understand the meaning of Sabbath

Then you know this is his way, all the way.

Then is when living is possible

Life and its fragility

2011-11-10T00:19:00.001+08:00

Life filled with so much energy
In a day, these energy are being expended to daily activities.
But the more tiring of all activities is the affairs of emotions.
Anger, sadness, disappointment, all the negatives just drains you away totally.
I have been drained these past few weeks.
I came to understand one point. Don't bother and move on. Life is much happier.

Wanderlust

2011-10-05T12:25:00.000+08:00

Oh, quench this thirst of mine,

To roam the streets of Knightsbridge.

To gaze at the armeniacum in the fields.

To feel the cold breeze in the air

To taste the crab cakes beside the sea

To hear the Queen's English.

To smell the crisp fresh air.

Happy.

Away

2011-04-20T22:22:00.001+08:00

Away i go.

Away i travelled.

Away away here we go.

New Year

2011-01-01T04:45:00.002+08:00

The new year is here.
It's an awesome day if you never notice. Its 1/1/11.
As i'm typing, my other peeps are watching inception.
Its been a while since i spent my time this late.
The previous time was when i had to do my project and that was 2 years back.
This was really a year of ups and downs.
But I thank God for everything.

Happy New Year ! !

Things to do before I die.

2010-11-22T18:04:00.000+08:00

What would you want to do before you die?
There is probably just one or maybe a thousand and one.
Maybe instead of a new year resolution, probably i will do a list of things to do before i die.
Have not decided yet.

On a sidenote, thinking about what to put on the list always makes me feel so many things. (okay, i am probably not making any sense here).

'Tower of Babel'

2010-09-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

Do you know the story of the tower of Babel?

Tower of Babel, a summarization for those who don't know is the entire human race building a tower to reach the heavens.

Everyone had the same language, able to communicate and want to reach heavens to be able to meet God and probably be like God themselves.

It was never completed because God came down and confused the language of the world.

In our modern time and day now, are we also building a 'Tower of Babel'?

There are many things going on outside, technological advances, medical advances, the debate on abortion, voluntary euthanasia. Our hands touching on subjects that used to be part of the unknown. We are getting smarter each day, and i might even dare say, we are getting to be like the 3 O's, Omniscience, Omnipotence, Omnipresence.

Just recently, Stephen Hawking, a famous physicist declared in his own words, "God did not create the universe." Stephen Hawking Revelation
But well, i think it's just publicity for his new book.
And everything is theory on itself, for if M theory can prove the nonexistent God, M theory can also prove there is a God.
But then i would have to go into quantum physics and that is not yet my expertise at the moment. I just leave with 2 links for you to decipher.
String Theory
M Theory

Perseverance

2010-08-10T13:37:00.001+08:00

It's been a long long while. Last month was a hectic month with my first official exams.
I pray that I get good grades. The most worrisome subject would be Finance Management.
Sadly there is no break at all. ):
Immediately, before even the dust settled, came the new timetable for the next semester. ):
I'm so ARGH!
But thank God, I had a short break during the national day long weekend holidays with friends.
Glad that both good friends joined the retreat. (:
As both are contemplating to understand and maybe accept. I praise God. (:
During the retreat, i learned quite a number of revelations and new things and really thank God for all these.
But the most important thing is not really learning nor just understanding, but really applying it to life. (:
To pray with confidence, patience and humility.
I thank God for everyone.
God encompass Love.
It's time for my busy work now. (:
A lot of work waiting for me. It's time to start the motor. (:

A question i wonder.

2010-07-05T02:30:00.000+08:00

Recently, i have been pondering about this question.

Ok, more of this equation instead. Does anyone know how to solve this?

Apparently I have to take this equation and open up another equation to be able solve this.

The mind is happy with an equation in the brain to solve the answer before proceeding to the next.

The intrigue and complexity of this makes me yearn for more.

The interesting one leaves me begging for more.

The love for such was never felt till i grew much older now.

Random the Rigid.

2010-06-28T16:25:00.001+08:00

I feel under the water.
I feel so busy.
I feel so pressured.
I feel the stress.
I feel so much.

I gotta slow down.
I gotta think less.
I gotta relax.
I gotta be less.
I gotta stop.

1) Rushing through projects that i had to pass up ceases my time. Exams around the corner forces me to study to get a good grade for a good honors degree.

2)Working in the day was a drag for a while, but i'm getting the drive back. I want to achieve many things. But talk is all there is now. Action has not started. I have to start making my move.

3)I got to start planning my time, the weekdays are always kept busy with work and study. The weekends a total privilege to spend with the family and church.

4)Time isn't a problem. I just have to make full good use of it.

Reality

2010-05-19T11:07:00.001+08:00

A dream I'm living in.
A reality that I can feel.
I feel so much.
Something I did not know.
My temper mellow.
I feel at peace.
No longer am I thinking much.
Because only you cloud mine.
Thank you for making my dream a reality.
A reality that is a dream.

Push.

2010-05-04T08:49:00.000+08:00

Your mind is a rock amidst the waves of throbbing emotions from the heart.
My mind is a fish swimming in sync with the waves of emotions from the heart.

I speak with my heart ruling my head.
You speak with your head ruling your heart.

The pain i feel is like a dagger through my heart.
The pain i feel like a betrayal to my own.

I feel like a kid awaiting something that might never come.
I feel vulnerable, like the dandelion easily blown.

Maybe on the swing, one day you will push me.
And when you do, I will soar.

Day.

2010-04-16T19:00:00.000+08:00

Every day,events happen.
Every day,a life is born and taken.
Every day, happiness and sorrows happen.
Every day,something happen.
Some days are more special then the others.
But a day is just a day.
The sun will still rise and set.
Time will never stop.
The waves will never stop crushing.
But to know that you will never be alone anymore on a particular day makes that day for me to remember.

Dream

2010-04-12T23:37:00.000+08:00

Who will share a dream of highs and lows of uncertainity with me?
Away from the eyes of many,this dream where we have our fantasies revealed.
This dream where we watch the sunset and sunrise everyday.
This dream where you look into my eyes and tell me you wanna spend a lifetime with me.
This dream where you hug me and tell me this is how you will hold me for eternity.
This dream where we will always be we, never changing for the world.

Randomize.

2010-04-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

1) School has started. The class still the same. The subjects totally different. I hope I can understand the concepts. It's the first week and I'm under stress. :(

2) V7 is out. Though I'm not as excited as the hey years, but I can also see the decline in it as there were no queues/credit/people at it at all. Wondered if there was e-amuse at dbg. V7 also have the feeling of incompleteness I guess due to the lack of theme. Tested out the guitar portion but not the drums yet.

3) Easter Sunday was a headache not because of the service but because I couldn't sleep the day before! A nightmare it was to want to sleep but not being able to. Tossing and turning in bed is a bad idea when you have sunrise service and had to be up at 0530, but thankfully, I did not fall asleep in both services.

4)Various friends seem to be getting married and getting a flat seems to be the priority. I heard that flat prices have shot up through the roof and I wonder how the goverment wants young couples to have kids yet basic needs are too expensive to even sustain or get. How would a young couple be able to feed an extra mouth when housing prices are rocket high and expenses in singapore are quite high?

5) As I'm sitting down gazing up the sky, I wondered if I didn't lie, would things have turned out this way?
Would there be a change? I do not know how things might have turned out if I didn't lie. Maybe the status quo would have been so much different. It might never changed. Relationships would never change. Life would never change. I don't know what happened that day that prompted me to make that decision. A mystery maybe.

6) Sometimes, I wondered am I a person that let people who are my 'friends' walk over me. I know what they are trying to do but yet I close an eye. Maybe I see it as just part and parcel of life? I really hate it but yet I can't find the strength to resist it. Even though I ain't easily swayed but on context of friends, the line gets easily blurred. Many times, phrases of ' on account of our friendship' are being spoken, the rules relaxed and things changed. Sometimes, Im on my way to full confrontation but then I always stop and ponder and let it go. But letting go meant I always remember, for there was no way to justify except to remember what had happened and hope it never happened again.

No worries.

2010-04-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

I might hide many things from you,
But do know my heart is true.

Seeing you makes me happy,
And I too hope it's true for you.

The worries of mine disappear,
Once the moment you appear.

I never regret any single thing,
I willing to give you everything.

I told you I can't promise you I won't lie,
But do know I will never make you sad.

I never want to see you cry,
Because I know I will die.

Sorry a common word I say,
And I know no worries is what you say.

Promise

2010-03-27T02:07:00.000+08:00

Maybe one day, she will fade into oblivion.
Maybe one day, she will be forgotten.
Maybe one day, she will be gone.

She shouldn't make the promise because she is limited.
Limited by space.
Limited by a certain time.
Limited by things.
For she is only human.

She cannot promise you that she will be there when you are upset.
She cannot promise that she won't feel a thing if you do stupid things.
She cannot promise that she wont do stupid things.
She cannot promise many things.

All she wants now is for you to be happy. And then she is happy.

Answer.

2010-03-20T15:27:00.000+08:00

I knew the answer long ago.
The time you wrote it for all to see.
The answer was hidden.

I knew the answer long ago.
When by chance we met.
Across the seat, i saw it happened.
I just put it down to wind.

I knew the answer long ago.
During the car ride we sat.
The one question i asked.
And you replied: " A mystery I am."
I thought to myself maybe i heard it wrong.
I thought to myself it might not be.

I knew the answer long ago.
But yet for once it was direct.
The phone beeped.
I knew the answer long ago.