~Moments of Peace~

Goodbye Old Home

2016-12-08T08:35:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been a few months in the making, but I'm finally packed up and moving to a new home. This blogsite, moments of peace, has been my residence for 7 years now and I'm grateful for the time I've had and the lessons God has taught me. I'm thankful for all the devoted readers and hope to pack you up and carry you over to my new home. Perhaps we can bring some more people with us.

So, without further delay, let me show you around my new place!

Be patient as I'm still unpacking and rearranging furniture. 😃

A Weekend Exhale for December

2016-12-02T11:25:00.001-08:00

Christmas wonder carries children to a place of mystery and excitement, more than any other time of year. Families draw closer, and share traditional recipe delights, and sing songs of cheer and toast one another in blessing. Does the simple take us to the profound?

Christmas teaches us the joy of simple pleasures: cutting out gingerbread men with children and watching a black and white movie we've memorized decades ago. And giving gifts to children who may never receive one, and crafting popcycle sticks and felt and glue to make something "special" for a grandparent.

Yet, so much more than the traditions and gifts and gathering, we pause to remember and reflect.

Just what was it like to come down to life here and be born in a cave? My youngest was playing with his nativity set this morning and asked me, "Mommy, why was Jesus born in a tomb?" A tomb. A cave for animals foreshadowed what would come 33 years later. A cave for his precious body, newly born and newly resurrected.

And we are the ones that come to the tomb cave and say, "Praise you; though You are nothing here (a baby born into obscurity), You are the Something we all need. Though I am nothing, you are making me something."

Here He is, and here we come. Oh, come, let us adore Him.

A Shattered Paradox

2016-11-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

Those dear friends in my listening circle already know I've been walking through the desert lately. Life seems to stretch as an empty wasteland of fatigue and frustration and insecurities. I feet stumble with trepidation. Even though I know I'm not alone, I can echo David's lament in Psalm 102:6-7.

In a fit of anger, my child ripped his paper hearts off the door and shredded my tokens of affection for him. Another child screams in my face and declares his hatred over me. I feel this bombardment of guilt and the sting of not-good-enough.

I've been told "Don't take it personally." But, how can I not? They are my persons. Therefore, in the words of Meg Ryan (You've Got Mail), "What's so wrong with being personal, anyway? Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal."

Now before you start saying, "Well, that's just stupid. You can't make everyone's business personal to you." I know. Thus, the fatigue. Even so, I need to carry this burden and find ways to help those who are burdened around me. I want to care without carrying the care of complete repair (the care of God). Does that make sense?

I fluctuate between this overwhelmed sense of my emotional attachment and this refusal to express anything but resentful anger (a protective mechanism?). Dumbfounded, I wonder over the irony of my current state of affairs; I'm writing a book on the influence of emotions, weighed on the scale of biblical understanding and human design. We live in this paradoxical tension of falling in head first or abandoning the waters all together.

And I keep hearing this word: broken. It reverberates in my soul and mocks through the shattered pieces surrounding me. Relationships fracture and my emotions crumble into shards of sharp glass. I hate it. It's messy; how am I supposed to carry around this broken jumble? How am I supposed to make things better with broken?

I'm on the treadmill, reading these words from a kindred spirit. I'm amazed at the timing of it all: "Never be afraid of being a broken thing. [...] There is no growth without change, no change without surrender, no surrender without wound--no abundance without breaking. Wounds are what break open the soul to plant the seeds of a deeper growth.

"My dad told me this once. For a seed to come fully into its own, it must become wholly undone. The shell must break open, its insides must come out, and everything must change. If you didn't under- stand what life looks like, you might mistake it for complete destruction."

"I whisper to the Farmer, one line that unfolds like willing, cupped hands: 'Brokenness can make abundance.'

"And the weight of hell shifts almost imperceptibly to feel more like the weight of glory, even if I'm not quite sure yet if that greater grace will come" (The Broken Way).

I need to examine the pieces, but I am not going to be the one to pick them up. I am going to let Him do it; it may take longer than feels comfortable and I may find my brokenness more exposed, making me feel all the more unstable and insecure. But, my security can't rest in my wholeness; for I am whole when I am broken and humble before Him--not when I feel put together. He doesn't despise this shattered life like I do (Psalm 51:17). Life a dandelion blow to all corners of the lawn, I will allow the seeds to scatter and trust that He has a plan to redeem this brokenness.

As Ann Voskamp says, "The miracle happens in the breaking."

Best Reads for the Holidays

2016-11-23T13:36:00.002-08:00

Inspiring us to give thanks...

Read this book several years ago, but still remember the power of Ann's honest and poetic style.

This book remains one of my all-time favorites: Read it before the movie comes out next year.

Reading this book with my daughter right now, but everyone should read it regardless of age.
Powerful story that will shift the way you view life, giving you renewed gratitude and perspective.

Inviting us into the Advent season....

Ann Voskamp's book brings insightful revelations on Scripture and personal connections.

Dr. Jeremiah takes us through 25 short chapters that lead us deeper into the heart of Jesus' coming.

This book is the only one I haven't read, but I recommend Piper's work. He will take you
to a place of humble contemplation.

Any suggestions for holiday reads?

Weekend Exhale: Encouragement for the Soul

2016-11-18T13:39:00.002-08:00

Journaling a few of the things that have encouraged me this week. Hope they bless you too.

I want you as you are, not as you ought to be
Won't you lay down your guard and come to me
The shame that grips you now is crippling
It breaks my heart to see you suffering
'Cause I am for you
I'm not against you... (Hawk Nelson, "Drops in the Ocean")

Letting go of the Goodness Gospel: makes me want to read this book.

When you don't measure up, we rely on the "but God" truths.

Sometimes you have to wait for the clouds to pass before you see the moon, but it's worth the waiting. Here's Monday's beauty.

If you appreciate George Winston, here's a little Autumn for you.

Walking through the Desert

2016-11-17T11:28:00.003-08:00

Psalm 61:2, I cry to you for help "when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I" (KJV).

Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with m

Empty.

Open the cabinet doors and the cupboard is depleted. I'm down to a bag of dry beans and a dusty can of pickled beets. And someone just asked me to make a gourmet meal for a dozen people, using only what's available. How's that going to happen?

For years I've been told, God is your source. Don't look to anyone else to meet your spiritual or emotional needs. He is the one that fills you when you are depleted. What wasn't as clear was how a person actually tapped into the resources of God. The analogies abound (a cord to an electric outlet, gas to a car, sun to a plant, etc.), but what does that process of connecting look like? I'm reading, I'm praying, I'm here. So, now what? Is the extension cord too short?

Lately, when I've come to God, desperate for renewal, I've pleaded and begged, "Will you fill me? I'm so depleted right now." I'm seeking Him, so where is this abundant feasting and flowing river? (Psalm 36). Feels more like a few drops in the sand. Doesn't do much to quench my thirst and it's far from taking me to a place where I'm overflowing and able to love others well.

My love is dried up. And I know apart from Him, I don't have much to give. (I John 4 is disturbing at best). I work and try and try some more, but my efforts leave me bitter, frustrated and depressed. It's coming out of me, not Him.

It's the vicious cycle of clenching and unclenching my hands. Am I willing to say, "Here I am" or am I more into protective mode? Lately, the questions and pain have left little energies for anything or anyone else. My heart is hurting and full of guilt. Where do I go now, Lord? What do I do with this junk? How do I repair this?

I'd love to say that all is regenerating and in bloom, but I'm still walking through some desert fringes. Even so, I'm more at peace with the discomfort. Answers are on the horizon and God hasn't left me alone (despite what I may feel at times).

When you find yourself in the barren lands, what do you do? How does the Father coax you back to the water? What restores your connection to Him and others?

The Rising Tide of Winter

2016-11-14T08:35:00.001-08:00

As the days to the holidays flash by and the sunlight decreases at 5:30PM, many people face the assault of Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). Around 5-20% of people (depending on the level of severity) struggle with S.A.D. and the negative repercussions of this depression.

Could I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD)?

If some of these feelings seem to happen each year, have a real impact on your life, and improve during certain seasons, talk to your doctor, you may have seasonal affective disorder.

I feel like sleeping all the time, or I’m having trouble getting a good night’s sleep
I’m tired all the time, it makes it hard for me to carry out daily tasks
My appetite has changed, particularly more cravings for sugary and starchy foods
I’m gaining weight
I feel sad, guilty and down on myself
I feel hopeless
I’m irritable
I’m avoiding people or activities I used to enjoy
I feel tense and stressed
I’ve lost interest in sex and other physical contact

Source: BC Mental Health

Of course other deficiencies or circumstances can impact these issues as well. If your situation improves with the time change and longer hours of sunlight, you could have S.A.D. If you are woman, your chances are much higher; 3 out of 4 sufferers are women (helpguide).

But, you don't have to be helpless.

1. Get outside as much as possible: take advantage of the sunlight when it's present.

2. Exercise: if it's too cold to get outside, invest in a used stationary bike or utilize youtube videos. Get a punching bag; buy a winter membership to a gym.

3. Take time to have fun and develop a new interest/project to get you through the winter. Be around people who have a positive attitude and can make you laugh. Try to engage and respond in like.

4. Eliminate sugar: Saying "no" to sugary carbs is especially challenging during the holidays, but sugar has been proven to increase depression. So, limit yourself. Consider the 90/10% rule when confronted with sweet choices.

5. Use light therapy: You can get on Amazon and find an affordable "happy light" that imitates the rays of the sun and increases serotonin levels. This is similar to the one given to me a few years ago.

If these techniques don't help, see your healthcare provider: something more could be at play.

Remember, winter only lasts a few months: spring will come again. So, stay on the treadmill and keep moving (literally and figuratively). 😊 Choose today to smile, even if you don't feel like it.

(Disclaimer: As most of my readers know, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't acknowledge my own struggle. Over the last two years, my wrestling with S.A.D. has greatly improved since I've been put on thyroid medication, but I'd be a hypocrite if I said, "I do all these things!" I'm failing in most of them right now. But, as always, I write to encourage myself toward the truth too, even if I'm "not there yet." Be blessed and remember I'm here if you want to share your winter blues with a sympathetic ear. Feel free to share your own tips for coping with S.A.D.)

A Weekend Exhale

2016-11-11T16:22:00.000-08:00

After this week, we need to share a little more love, peaceful perspective, blessed hope, and some escape to just exhale and remember, God's got this.

Come and saunter through Stefan's work and exhale.

Over 16 million people served in the U.S. military during WWII. I'm thankful to all the troops who continually forfeit their lives to secure the safety of others. But, since both of my grandpas--now in Heaven--served during WWII, I'm a little partial to veterans from that war. What incredible feats they overcame. They truly were the greatest generation.

To the brave men and women, I thank you.

Watch a story that will move you to love and cherish those around you. Everyone needs someone to say, "You are valuable to me."

Yes, you do matter. You are more than a piece of luggage.

"Expressing gratitude will give you positive emotions, but the purpose of writing the notes is because it’s the right thing to do. John says our natural tendency is to notice the 9 bad things that happened to us each day, but instead what if we focused on the one good thing?"

Take the time to write a thank-you note. Journal a gratitude list. Be intentional about saying thanks.

Determined Future

2016-11-08T19:47:00.001-08:00

This week, I read through Colossians and stopped halfway through chapter one. Pondering this comforting truth, we have nothing to fear. God assures us that He is on the Throne. Nothing is beyond His control; He is above and before everything and He is the last word. Our King and Lord holds all things together (Col.1:16-18 ESV).

So, when life feels like it's falling apart, when our country seems to be imploding, when God appears distant, remember, He isn't finished writing this story. He's already penned the final chapters and the conclusion won't be muddled in darkness. His light will shine forth in clarity and truth.

Over the last few months, my mind keep wandering back to the plight of the Israelites; throughout the Old Testament records of their journey with God, we see example after example of their stubborn refusal to submit. They knew God's directives but chose to pave their own path and walk away. They stumbled into the darkness and God brought them back to Him, usually through captivity by another nation.

Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel, and removed them from His sight; there was none left but the tribe of Judah alone. (19) Also Judah did not keep the commandments of the LORD their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made. (20) And the LORD rejected all the descendants of Israel, afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of plunderers, until He had cast them from His sight. (II Kings 17:18-20)

I used to think that God's response toward them was a little harsh. Can't you punish them some other way, Lord? Use a method less severe than slavery?

But, one idea God revealed involved the apparent situation of His people: they were already in slavery. They had already chosen to follow other gods--either by wood and stone or their own selfish hearts. Their prideful idolatry had enslaved their hearts, but they were blind to their predicament until God allowed their bodies to be enslaved as well. Their physical plight awoke them to their spiritual depravity.

How often could we say the same of our culture? Many within our nation zip around with corporate tasks and social interactions, but their hearts are hollow and full of darkness and doubt. What's it all for? Why am I here? Is this as good as it gets?

John Piper asserts that biblical suffering is a gift. (Phil. 1:29, Matt. 5:11, Romans 5:3, I Peter 4:13). It makes us less satisfied with this world and ourselves and what we can do and more focused on God and who He is and what He can do. Now, ultimately, we'd prefer to suffer with purpose for doing right than to suffer because we were stupid and wandered away from God's purpose for our lives.

Remember that God doesn't waste anything; he can take the burnt ashes of our destruction and make glorious growth. And He promises to share the comfort of His presence (2 Corinthians 1:5). His victory is sure. Rest in that knowledge and remember that He is still reigning supreme.

Is this really November?

2016-11-05T09:31:00.001-07:00

The month tells us to expect oranges and browns and all things chilly, snugly, and spiced. But, the air still carries this fragrant summer scent and honeysuckle blooms and roses continue to bud and my daughter's morning glory plant has never looked better.

Sometimes growth happens when you expect decay. When circumstances demand a slowing down, a time of grief, loss, or disappointment, we just think hardship leads to the desert. Instead, the unexpected oasis unfolds before us.

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something,

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,

because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,

because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,

because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who

are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,

and they can become your blessings.

~Author Unknown

I read this poem to my class yesterday and briefly discussed how the disappointments and hardships sometimes produce the very catalyst that brings growth and new life.

My husband often prays that we'd go through a situation well--not necessarily that the circumstance itself would change. I used to resent these prayers: No, pray for it to go away! But, as Charles Swindoll says, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

We don't know what the next chapter will reveal, but we do know that God filters everything through His unconditional love. So, whatever situation you find yourself in, ask Him for the courage to see it rightly.

How do you want me to respond, Lord?
What do you want me to learn from all of this?
Help me to surrender to You and your perspective.

Slow Down and Realize

2016-11-03T17:07:00.000-07:00

We took a recent trip to St.Louis and stayed in a hotel for a couple of nights, which seems to be the most exciting part for our kids. Though Aaron and I groan over the cramped quarters, shared toilet and lack of privacy, the kids see the co-sleeping as a great adventure. In addition, they love watching their favorite shows on a large flat-screen TV--another item we don't have at home.

Our three-year-old was glued to a PBS program when a commercial popped up. He immediately turned to me and said, "I don't like this show. Can you change it?" Because we don't own a TV and they've only ever watched Netflix or dvds, our kids couldn't grasp the concept of watching something you can't control. Corbin also didn't understand why his movie wasn't still on after we had come back from breakfast. The media was supposed to revolve around him.

Whether we jump on the carousel or not, our world is spinning fast, whirling with or without us. We have the option to put down the phone, pause the movie, TiVo our entertainment, stream our music, but it wouldn't surprise me if teleportation is mounting the horizon. Takes too long to get there? No problem; "Beam me up, Scotty."

The last week or two I've been trying to create some more professional online space for myself. I've been blogging on blogspot for years and love it, but if I want to be noticed in a high-pitched world, I need to have a site unique and personal.

The technical glitches and jargon tempted me to throw my computer out the backdoor and say, "Forget it! Give me a pen and notepad." I don't care about this junk anyway; I just want to create.

What happened to the days when an author wasn't considered exceptional unless he or she was a recluse? Readers expected them to avoid the public eye; the mystery made them more intriguing and their work more desirable. Today you aren't even considered for publication unless you have thousands following you on social networking sites. Writers can spend more than half of their time just marketing (ahem, excuse me: tribe-building and branding). Authors no longer have time to do what they do best--write!

Anyway, the stress of it all wrapped me up in this restless angst; I growled at the kids, I neglected the house, and barely got dinner together.

At one point during the chaos, my mom encouraged me to calm down, "You are letting all this stuff eat your lunch. You have no deadline; only self-imposed expectations." In other words, quit taking yourself so seriously; get some help. Relax. You aren't as important as you think you are...and neither is this list.

Last night, I was reading Yancey's book Prayer and I stumbled onto this little jewel:

"When I sense that my activity means something and has worth, and so move faster and faster trying to accomplish more and more, at that moment I give in to pride and a feeling that all depends on me." (300)

What more can I say? I still have pages of work to complete, but I am trying to remember that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much I conquer. What matters is how well I loved my children (was I patient and fully present?). Did I take the time to listen to my husband, really listen? Did I encourage others? Serve them? To humbly submit to God? After all, I'm not Him. He's on the throne of this world and I'm his servant: not the other way around.

"God will give ear and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old, Selah, because they do not change and do not fear God." Psalm 55:19 (ESV)

(photo cred Felipe Santana)Unsplash

Letters

2016-10-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we hosted a petite tea party for our 8-year-old. Unlike other birthday parties, I kept thinking last night,"Something has changed. She just seems so much more grown up." Of course, those of you who've interacted with our daughter know that she's been an old soul from the beginning: 8 going on 38. She could write her name at age 2, could read at age 4 and can prepare a whole dinner plus dessert by herself. She knows how to ask the deep theological questions--the ones that leave her daddy and me staring at each other. Raising her has never been boring. And she loves to communicate, in verbal and written form.

Over the last several years, I've made a practice of writing letters to her on her birthday. She doesn't know it yet, because she's never received any of them. One day, when she moves out, I'll hand them all to her and say, "Remember?" Each year, I highlight the growth I've seen in her, the loves, the likes, the passion and remind her over and over again, "You are loved."

It's a simple habit, but one we both value.

A week ago, I was messaging back and forth with a friend who lives in the mountains (the real ones...not the Ozark ones). We were lamenting the lost art of letter writing and how people don't take the time to communicate with depth or intention. Words are abbreviated, condensed into bursts of demands, questions, or thumbs-up icons. Jane Austen would roll in her grave, my dears.

As much as I adore getting old-fashioned mail--yes, the kind you hold in your hand and write with a pen--I love sending letters and cards.

It literally takes 5 minutes, but it can brighten someone's whole day, and turn a relationship around. Writing shows someone, "You matter to me. I thought of you and I wanted to do more than send a text." I'd encourage you to write a note, a letter, send a funny card to someone today: it can be for any reason, but "just because" is always the best. See what sunshine you can spread.

Family From Here On Out

2016-10-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

When my dad graduated to Heaven three years ago, each member of the Randy Kuenzle family had to decode what it meant to be family without him. Our core foundation unit was gone and we felt the gaping absence. Birthdays were painful; vacations felt lopsided, and Christmas was downright weird. Even so, we acclimated to a new "normal." Christmas and birthdays and Father's Day still reverberate with bittersweet memories, and on occasion, I will have an especially painful day where I just need to cry because I miss him so.

Victor Hugo said that "even the darkest night will end with a sunrise." We keep living life and making new memories with family because we are still here and we value the precious bond of relationship. I don't hang out with my brothers because I have to; I do it because I genuinely want to do so. After my husband, my mom remains my best friend (I realize that not everyone can say that about their family, but what I have I am thankful for and I don't want to take it for granted).

This past weekend, we got to visit Aaron's extended family in Oklahoma. Having only one grandparent left on this earth, I am exceedingly grateful for Poppa and Gram. Thirteen years ago, when I was still just dating Aaron, they welcomed me in and made me their own, and they haven't turned back.

Even after two years of not seeing their great-grandparents, my cautious kids ran right to and hugged them with fervor. If you are in the Hanley home, you are hugged, given a plate of food, and encouraged to sit and listen to the Hanley stories. It's a lively experience for sure.

And more than any other word, you will hear "blessed." Not as in, "Oh, bless his heart." But more like, "We are so blessed." "My family is such a blessing." "Ya'll blessed us by being here."

God created it. We get to find it and enjoy it. And if it's done well, it's a blessing to others too. ~Family~

"How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity." Psalm 133:1

"Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people." Acts 2:46-47

Try Harder

2016-10-24T07:07:00.003-07:00

My mentor and I settled in with Panera coffee and classical music in the background. Truly, I love this time away from kids, away from duty, away from the nagging internal voices that demand me to try harder. Allison somehow possesses the gift of listening and challenging, all the while leaving the receiver empowered and edified. She leans in and asks me the probing questions that till up my heart and lay the ground bare for further planting and watering.

We wrestle through all aspects of life (mothering, teaching, writing, leading), and then she inquires, "So, what are you thoughts and feelings around your grandmother's death?" Seeing her die overturned some emotional soreness from seeing her son (my own dad) die three years prior. But truthfully, the overarching response to her departure hitches onto jealousy: anytime a believer leaves this broken world for the complete one, I feel a tinge of envy. They are done struggling, done with the mess of feeling broken, in body and spirit.

I clarify, "I'm not suicidal. I'm just tired...tired of the messiness. Tired of the questions and struggle."
She responds, "Tired of fighting the good fight."
Essentially, yes.

As we talk, I realize how pitiful it sounds. How my perspective and heart need some altering. After all, my life carries so much ease and blessing. I may feel under attack, but I don't know what it means to suffer--really suffer. The majority of my issues stem from expecting more from myself than I can acquire. Get it right; work harder; find the answers; be more!

The law works fear and wrath; grace works hope and mercy. ~ Martin Luther

It's almost as if God is denying my ability to perceive success in any area of life. Knowing how much I value accomplishment and results, He's said, "Nope, you aren't going to find your identity in that." When I can't look to my abilities as a wife, mother, home-school parent, professor, leader, or writer nor measure any advancement or reward, I eventually turn back to my Creator and say, "Okay, what now? Where do I find my assurance and completion?"

When failure bombards me, I know that success rests in Him. I've gotten so far off course that now I'm searching for security in me again and what I can do well. That was never God's intention for His children. He wants us to rest wholly in Who He is and what He's done.

Last night, as Allison was praying over me, she asked the Lord to return to me the joy of salvation (Ps. 51:12): that's it, isn't it? Whether our little worlds rise high or crash down in rubble, the joy of this life comes from Him and what He's done in us. He loves us just as we are, broken but complete in Him.

"You are seen and known.
You aren't just another face in the crowd, you aren't just left fighting your battle, trying to slay your giants, forgotten & alone on the backside of nowhere. You aren't just a number -- your name, your *name* is engraved into the palm of His hands. He knows *you* -- He knows that thing you can't say out loud, He knows the soreness of the hidden wounds you've been carrying around on the inside, He knows the weight that you've been lifting & trying to pretend isn't even there. He wrote a love letter to you about it all; He didn't just write the Word--He wrote it *for you* ... He wrote it *to you* -- *personally.*
He wrote your name on His hand --- personally.
So let's believe it and
Never buy the lie
that it matters how you're ranked
in the eyes of the world --
when what ultimately matters
is how you are ranked
in the hearts of your people
and the eyes of God." ~ Ann Voskamp

I John 3:1-3
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure."

Give me a Break...

2016-10-18T21:28:00.001-07:00

Zip through a couple of days that I'd label unsuccessful and the idea of making any more decisions almost seems overwhelming. What book should we study next? Where do you want to meet tomorrow? What time? Do you want one cookie or two? What kind of hot tea do you want? Seriously. I can't go there right now.

Aaron sighed, "I'm tired of making decisions." No joke. Give me a drawing pad and take away my license; I've decided to be a kid again. As one of my friends says, "This adulting thing stinks."

After dealing with mouthy kids and frustrating technology and leaky faucets and worn-down appliances and wondering, what am I going to need to fix next, we drive up to Ozark to purchase a used van. We'd already test-driven it and--we thought--fully assessed the pros/cons. Unfortunately, the van barely made it out of the drive-way before not one, but two squeaks started assailing our ears. Really? Where was this cacophonous concert when we drove it last week?

We pull into Aldi to buy our weekly groceries and think, "Oh, well...hopefully the mechanic can figure this junk out without it costing too much." Still, I'm feeling a little bit like someone handed me a shiny red balloon and then popped it.

After loading the groceries into the back of the Honda, Aaron gets the kids buckled and then turns the key. Nothing. Nada. Dead.

We give each other a look and wonder, can we laugh about this? Because if we don't, I think I might cry. It's not the van; it's not even the money. It's just the one. more. thing. One more detail. One more call. One more task on my list. One more thing to process and act on. Where's the cruise control on life when you need it?

I follow Aaron and the kids home in our seemingly more reliable '99 Dodge Caravan. Okay, why did we feel the need to buy another vehicle? My natural tendency is to fume, but I know what I've got to do: pray. Just leave it with me, Kristin. Talk to me about how you feel. Ask me for perspective.

So I do, but I feel tired and distracted and empty--soul fatigue. His patience astounds me. Somehow I hear His whisper: worship me. Thank me.
I'd love to say I jumped into gratitude with enthusiasm, but truthfully, my words came more as a sacrifice than anything else. At least, at first.

I love learning new worship songs, but the choruses that return to my mind are ones I heard growing up. When I need to sing to an audience of one, I pull from that repertoire.
I started singing a song that I haven't heard for probably two decades: let me take you back to Hosanna's praise. It's Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart. Henry Smith wrote the song in the 70's, in the midst of dealing with joblessness and a disease that eventually left him blind. The song itself contains simple lyrics and a repetitious chorus:

Give thanks with a grateful heart,
Give thanks to the Holy One.
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son.

Though I kept singing, the last line snagged and stuck. I don't worship Him just when He gives me obedient kids, reliable vehicles, a healthy body, or stable relationships. I praise Him because He's given me a Savior. And if that's it, it's more than enough.

I was talking to my mom tonight, asking her if she'd help me get the van into the auto shop, and she reminded me of something that has quickly become one of her catch phrases: "It's just stuff."

It all breaks down, crumbles by mold, moth, and decay. But, what He's already given us in Christ is secured for all of eternity. With that gift, how can I say anything but thank you? Maybe your stressers carry a heavier weight: cancer, divorce, rebellion. Maybe it's not just a car or house that's broken down, but a marriage...a spirit of hope. I know what it feels like to give up too, but He doesn't reciprocate. Remember, that He makes all things new. What He touches doesn't stay the same. He has put His imprint on us and sealed us for all eternity.

"He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." 2 Cor. 1:21-22

And I am "justified by His grace through the redemption that is in Jesus Christ." Romans 3:24

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.
1 Peter 1:3–5

Make Me Brave

2016-10-04T11:32:00.001-07:00

Sunday after services, our kids are dismissed with their homework (God-time sheets) and an unusual "token" to overcome: a sucker. But not just any candy. This lollipop possesses bugs (yes, dead crusty insects) in this see-through yellow sugar encasement. Now, I'm not an overly cautious person; I've done some rather crazy things in my life: jumping out of a plane comes to mind. Even so, the whole psych-up motivational activities that seem to thrive in youth groups rarely carry any significant change over into real-life experiences. Instead, let's challenge people to act in a way that ripples out into eternity. Talk to a new neighbor and invite them to church. Call a grieving widow and take her to lunch. Visit the elderly and broken-down. Encourage the depressed. Forgive and love the angry. Invite the outcast.

Our culture seems to translate bravery as a concoction of danger, adrenaline and stupidity. Christ-following courage does require us to overcome our fears, but we do so because of His purposes, not our own glory. When He asks us to be brave and take risks, we understand that we aren't exempt from danger--quite the opposite--but the peril comes with great eternal reward. Following our intended objective will push us out of our comfort zone, but it also takes us to a place of sacred relationship with our Creator Father. And we take consolation in the truth that He does not leave us on our own, but faces our fears with us, equipping us with armor and speaking words of life into our spirits (Psalm 56:3-4, Eph. 6:10, 2 Timothy 1:7).

I can only speak for myself, but the things God has called me to do require excessive bravery on my part: homeschooling my kids, inviting new people into our home, reaching out to widows and orphans, sacrificing time and energy for the least of these. Most of what I do is not overly comfortable for me. In large crowds, my pulse will quicken and deep breathing has gone AWOL. Meeting new people fatigues me to the point where I need about two hours of silence afterwards. Despite the numerous times I've trekked this path, every semester before I start a new Bible study or a new class, I get nervous. A day of solitude, writing in a cabin in the woods sounds like a blissful dream. As much as I adore being in community, people do drain me. I try to be intentional because I know that's what God has called us too, and I truly do love being around other women of faith. We aren't here to be reclusive. We are here to live in fellowship with others.

Ask the Lord what He needs you to overcome: it may have nothing to do with my issues. Perhaps being brave includes more silent listening time away from people. Perhaps being brave translates into singing in a crowd at church. Perhaps being brave looks like accepting that less-than-impressive job just so you can provide for your family. Perhaps being brave means forgiving the person that offended you. Even if you don't know yet, He does. Ask Him and receive His answer and know that He will equip you with the strength to walk in courage.

I Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

And as John Wayne said, "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway."

When God Seems Silent

2016-09-19T11:46:00.001-07:00

While waiting in a doctor's office this week, I overheard the receptionist talking with a patient near her. Although I missed the first part of the conversation, the receptionist related how she'd just come off this fast and was praying specifically for someone to step in (not sure what position) from 2:00-5:00 in the afternoons. She told the patient that she started off with no answer, but would keep asking until she got what she needed. Basically stating that she would pray until God gave her what she wanted. And sure enough, God delivered. A woman had taken the position and was able to cover the time. The client nodded and offered praise, "Isn't it great to be children of the King?"
The receptionist responded, "God is so good."

Now, I don't want to diminish their faith or the statements they solidified at the end, but as I sat in the hard metal chair, rubbing a headache away and waiting to get further blood-work done, I wondered if they would have said the same things if God hadn't "delivered." If the person hadn't stepped in to help out? If the struggle continued on as it had before? If God's answer had been not now... wait? If life didn't turn rose-colored like we expected; if we didn't get a slice of heaven here; if we had to wait, would it be okay then? Would they be saying "God is so good"?

When people proclaim God's goodness, it's often after an affirmation of their desired outcome. Since God gave me what I wanted; therefore, he is good. Or even, God gave me what I thought I needed, so he is good.

But is God's goodness contingent on our finite ability to discern what's best? We grasp a limited view--fractured at best--of the big picture God paints. If we stood two inches away from a Monet painting and stared at it, we'd hardly grasp what we were seeing. I love Impressionism paintings, but they must be appreciated from afar. If I glare at one brush stroke of black and fail to see all the other strokes around it, I've lost sight of the purpose of the painting.

Still, I get the dilemma: when children face repeated abuse and the system isn't protecting them and God seems distant and apathetic, I want to scream, "We're desperate here! We really do need you! Wouldn't it be good for you to step in and save them, Lord? Why do you seem to do nothing?" We're all praying. We're pleading. And the struggle burns on.

When family members wrestle through chemotherapy and fight against that nasty "c" word and nothing seems to help, I want to scream, "Is this your plan? How does this seem good? Why don't you just end the suffering?" We pray. We plead. And the struggle continues.

A friend's marriage unravels, and despite years of counseling and prayer and effort, the spouse still walks away, abandoning them and their children. The accident leads to crippling and reduced function. The child remains a selfish prodigal, with no intentions of returning home. The sexual molester goes on unchecked. The liar and cheat swindles another person.

Our Normal Rockwell dream has turned into Edvard Munch's The Scream.

No, this life isn't what we thought it would be. Sometimes God says "no." Sometimes we don't even hear the "no." Sometimes we wonder, is he listening? Does He truly care--in every situation, all the time? Is He doing anything? What? Where? What is the point?

After Malachi finished his prophesy in the Old Testament, it was about 400 years before people heard from John the Baptist, "Make way; He's finally here!" Where was God? Had he abandoned them--decided it wasn't worth it?

Second Peter chapter 3 expounds on the struggle of waiting for God's judgment day on evil. We see through one angle, but the Lord comprehends and orchestrates it all. Read the whole chapter for further understanding, but these verses speak of waiting and spanning out our perspective.

But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come... ( 2 Peter 3:8-10 emphasis mine)

Those of you who know me grasp this idea: I hate waiting. I'm a get-er-done, check-off-the-list kinda girl. And although I've grown in my patience an itty bit, I'm sorry, but sometimes God just seems so slow. I tap my toe and scowl at my clock and demand, "When?"

Randy Alcorn says in The Goodness of God that evil will eventually meet eternal wrath. "The wheels of justice may seem to turn slowly, but they turn surely. Scripture assures us that justice is coming; 'God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil' (Ecc. 12:14). Justice is certain, even when it isn't immediate.

"Since sin demands death (see Romans 6:23), if people are to live, justice must wait. God delays justice not to make our lives miserable, but to make our lives possible" (61-62).

What if God said "Enough already!" before Randy Alcorn's conversion? Before Paul's transformation on the road? Before yours?

Habakkuk 2:3 encourages God's people to wait without despair, "For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay."

So, what do we do in the waiting time? If an estimated two-thirds of the Psalms are psalms of lament (Yancey 82) then surely we should approach God with honesty and brokenness and all the tumultuous feelings we are experiencing. In The Question That Never Goes Away, Philip Yancey addresses the angst in Habakkuk, the prophet's plea with God.

2How long, Lord, must I call for help,

but you do not listen?

Or cry out to you, “Violence!”

but you do not save?

3Why do you make me look at injustice?

Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?

Destruction and violence are before me;

there is strife, and conflict abounds.

4Therefore the law is paralyzed,

and justice never prevails.

The wicked hem in the righteous,

so that justice is perverted. (ESV Habakkuk 1)

We keep talking to God. The temptation--at least for me--is to cross my arms, grunt and say, "What's the use?" Our pride tells us, there's no point in asking, for He will do as He pleases...or seemingly ignore as He chooses. But, Scripture encourages the opposite. We come to the throne room and ask, "How long, Lord?"

We keep fighting injustice. Just because the world appears to have lost every sensible grip on morality doesn't mean we as Christ-followers toss the banner. (I Thes. 4:3-8) We keep serving with compassion, saying no to lustful selfishness, and choose the honorable way.

We keep remembering that our Savior suffered. Though we fully grasp the purpose of it now, Jesus' disciples didn't understand why the Father allowed Jesus to endure such extreme pain and suffering. God feels our pain, and His felt much more. Even when we wonder what He's up to, we need to remind ourselves that we aren't alone.

"A highway shall be there, and a road, And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.

The unclean shall not pass over it...But the redeemed shall walk there,

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return., And come to Zion with singing,

With everlasting joy on their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness,

And sorrow and sighing shall flee away." Isaiah 35:8-10

When Fear Says "No," But God Says "Yes!"

2016-09-13T16:42:00.002-07:00

Today I have the privilege of introducing you to a fellow Bible-study sister. Carolyn helps lead worship at our church, and lead she does. Her humble vulnerability before the throne of God invites others to open their hearts to the Lord with more abandon and passion. For years she's encouraged others on FB with her devotional encounters, and after numerous promptings from readers, she's starting her own blog! Today she's talking about overcoming fear.

Guest post by Carolyn Hill

Have you ever felt like your calling was diminished to yesterday's trash in 30 seconds flat? I certainly have felt that way! Just when I finally allowed the Holy Spirit to make me brave enough to step fully into my calling, along came a powerful force of discouragement, and mockery. Case in point: singing has always been an integral part of my life. But the way I would cut loose and bare my heart in music at home was always a well-kept secret. I worried too much about what people would think.

I had heard the phrase, "Who do you think you are?" too many times, and it reverberated over and over again in my impressionable brain. I really didn't know who I was, or why God had given me such a passion to sing. As I grew up, I started singing more and more (actually in public) because it could not be completely suppressed.

Ultimately, singing became my lucrative career for 15 years. However, I always held back. Always. Underlying fear still gripped me, and kept me from truly being "all that God made me to be." But in my late 20's I began leading worship, and a transformation began to happen in me. It took a season of over 10 years to learn how to worship...for real...not for show. God was working on my heart, and I found myself becoming completely free to sing and worship Him with everything I had...my mind, body, spirit and soul! For the first time I was not holding back. How could I? It was all about Him, not me. I had found my identity in Him, and I was experiencing joy in His presence!

One Sunday I woke up with so much fervor and excitement to praise Jesus that I could hardly contain myself! And as I was leading worship, I felt a warm sensation start from my head and flow down to my toes. It is hard to describe...but I felt completely loved. At one point I began to jump with joy just like a delighted child, completely enthralled with my Heavenly Father. When church was over, I could not stop my tears from flowing. They were cleansing tears...of relief, joy and love!

As I was gathering my things and getting ready to leave, a person that I had known and looked up to for a long time called me over. She told me that the way I had behaved during worship was disgraceful and embarrassing. She said it was obviously all about drawing attention to myself! She told me she had never seen anyone act that way in her life! She shook her head and walked away. I felt like she had slapped me and spit in my face! Her words hurt me so deeply. Now my tears were flowing from heartache. I felt ashamed. If you break that word "ashamed" down, it describes how I felt: a sham. I started to doubt that what I had experienced was real. I started questioning everything. The one thing that I thought I had been freed of--the fear of being judged--assaulted me. Again, I was hearing, "Who do you think you are?"

Well, the Lord did not let me suffer in this shame for very long. As I made a beeline to my car, a mentor of mine found me crying and comforted me. And then the Lord began to reassure my heart that the worship experience I had with Him was real, and not only that, but it had deeply moved many people in the church.

Soon after that, without ever telling anyone else about my experience, I started hearing from people who felt the Holy Spirit move their hearts during that time of worship. Many felt freedom to worship like never before! God confirmed this to me many times. And then He urged me to not only forgive the lady who hurt me, but to also pray for her as well! As I began to pray for her over a period of two years, God gave me so much compassion for her that I would be moved to tears on her behalf. I pleaded with the Lord that she would know Him the way that I was so blessed to know Him! I am happy to report that she has never said another hurtful thing to me again. And I hold no grudge against her, and I believe with all of my heart God is doing a work in her! And He has done such a work in me! My worst fear became a reality, and I had to face it. But I have come to realize Satan wants to diminish us and our calling like yesterday's trash in 30 seconds flat, but he will not succeed! I have found great consolation in this truth from Nehemiah 2:19-20; ...they mocked and ridiculed us....I answered them by saying, "The God of heaven will give us success!" And in 4:14, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome!"

See, all of those years I missed out because I believed that what people would think, say or do was not worth the risk. Now I see that even when those fears became reality, the experience wasn't so bad! God's calling is worth the opposition and He will always get the final victory!

Why We Remember

2016-09-09T12:12:00.000-07:00

Recently, Facebook circulated this photo of the twin towers with a caption below stating that for the first time this year, high school freshmen will study the events of 9/11 not as a memory but as a historical event. As hard as it is to believe that 15 years have passed since that horrific event, I recall in vivid reel the images flashing across our tiny dorm-room TV in college. If I'd been watching a Hollywood film, I would have thought nothing of the scene, but these atrocities were actually destroying thousands of lives. Nearly 3,000 people died that day, but more experienced the penetrating loss. Mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, children, brothers, sisters, and friends felt the deep soul death from the evil. This murderous act killed toddlers and seniors. Their family dynamics would forever be altered.

Fifteen years later, the majority of people (or perhaps it's just what the media chooses to focus on) seem to avert the topic. "Let's move on." Though "moving on" is essential to growth, we can't deny the devastation of that day. Family members and friends don't want to forgot those who died and for us to do so involves a level of dishonor to what they conceded.

In remembering, we....

Reset our priorities. What is truly important? Am I putting my time and energy into those things? After 9/11, people left work and school and spent the rest of the day with loved ones. Estranged relationships were amended through forgiveness and phone conversations across the continent. People who had written off God stepped over the threshold of their local church, looking for eternal hope.
Restrain evil. When we remember what can happen, we decide that we will be different. We can't change everyone (or anyone?), but we can change who we choose to be. We decide to demonstrate compassion, service, and light to a world shadowed in darkness. Philip Yancey says that "If the church does its job, people don't torment themselves wondering where God is. They know the answer. God becomes visible through people who live out the mission that Paul expressed so well" (The Question That Never Goes Away 150).
Regenerate through pain. God doesn't want to waste our suffering. If the Lord swooped in every time evil would strike, would we cease to have free will? If He saved us from every painful experience, would we turn to Him and find spiritual restoration? Should life be void of sorrow and agony would we look to our Creator for our purpose and salvation or would we declare, "I've got this"? C.S. Lewis said, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." Romans 8:28 may not make much sense when we contrast it to our experiences, but we trust that God filters the ingredients to receive the best possible outcome. In The Goodness of God, Randy Alcorn relates an experience as a child. His mother used to make the best cakes, but when he tested the ingredients separately (vanilla, eggs, baking soda, etc.), nearly everything tastes horrible. Still, when baked together, the cake became this delicious end product. "In a similar way, each trial and apparent tragedy tastes bitter to us. Romans 8:28 doesn't tell me 'it is good' if my leg breaks, or my house burns down, or I am robbed and beaten, or my child dies.Rather, God carefully measures out and mixes all the ingredients together, including the most bitter ones, and in the end, as measured after life here is done, produces a wonderful final product" (98).

Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously

2016-09-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

This morning, I have the privilege of sharing the words of a dear friend, prayer warrior, and fellow writer. Few women demonstrate such gracious poise and compassion over people. Quick to respond with prayer and confident to approach the throne of grace, Jennifer reaches beyond the temptations of merely pointing fingers and excusing behavior. She's the first to ask, "What can we do and how can we accomplish what the Lord wants in us?" I love her heart and humility, as further expounded in this post.

Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously
by Jennifer O. White

I can remember my mom confronting me with my inability to say, "I am sorry!" I suppose that was my first glance in the mirror at my own pride issues. I have really struggled with owning up to my weaknesses. It is OH SO EASY to see the weaknesses in other people. But wait .... does that mean it is easy for them to see the weaknesses in me?

Who am I kidding?

Of course other people know my faults. This fact used to cause me enough anxiety to require medication. But several years ago, God invited me to pray for humility.

How do I know it was God who suggested it to me? I didn't know I had a pride problem, so it wasn't me having a logical discussion with myself and deducting this was a problem I should address. The enemy of my soul surely didn't suggest that I seek God for freedom from the very sin that had him cast out of heaven.

Our Secret Sins

A few years ago, my brother told me about a time when he knew God was calling him to confess a hidden sin to his Bible study group. He was very nervous about doing it, but he knew it was God’s will and God’s prompting. So he did it. He boldly confessed his sin and asked each person to forgive him. Each person offered him forgiveness. And that was the end of his struggle with that particular sin. His obedience opened the door to his healing.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16

One of my weaknesses in marriage has been to rehearse the things that frustrate me. I have a WONDERFUL husband and I have failed him many times by nurturing dishonoring thoughts about him.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Thankfully, my counselor had been teaching me how toxic those thoughts are to our relationship. I followed her advice and practiced confessing to God each thought as it came up. Then I would ask for God's forgiveness. My side of the conversation with God would go something like this:

“God, I know that thought about David was not from You. Please forgive me. I forgive David for … (when forgiving him was necessary).”

I would breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I had been obedient. Within minutes another dishonoring thought would race across the movie screen of my mind. Each time I chose confession and forgiveness, I found it easier to resist the thought. Today, I realize that I was living out James 4:7. I was submitting myself to God and resisting the devil, which comes with the promise that the devil will then flee from you. This act of obedience also helped me avoid having a root of bitterness take over my heart.

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15

Windshield Wipers & Storms

God helped me to see the importance of confessing and practicing forgiveness as a powerful combination with the following illustration. The storms of life are as sure and unpredictable as the thunderstorms that frightened us as kids. Today we drive through storms to get where we want to go and we use our windshield wipers to see our way through the storm.

In the relationship storms of our lives, we have confession and forgiveness as the tools to see through the storm. As windshield wipers cast down the pouring rain, confessing our sin and asking for forgiveness casts down the rebellious thoughts and arguments designed to separate us from God.

“We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

The next time you find yourself rehearsing the faults of others remember to turn on the windshield wipers of your mind. Choose to obey God's instructions to honor others, confess the sin, ask for forgiveness, and forgive the other person. Your choice will bring peace and confidence in the midst of life’s storms.

“And this righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17

AND you will open the door to the healing God offers.

Jennifer O. White is the author of Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress and Marriage Armor for the #PrayingBride. Get your free copy of Seeing Your Spouse through God’s Eyes, a very important chapter from her book, here at JenniferOWhite.com

When You Aren't Good Enough and That's Okay

2016-08-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

We're sitting at the table this morning, eating Cheerios with fresh peaches, and reciting Awana Bible verses (trust me, most mornings are not this idyllic). My three-year-old Awana Cubby repeats his condensed version of Romans 3:23, but then Landon queries, "Why does he have to learn that verse?It doesn't say anything about God or what He did." This boy doesn't miss a thing.

I nod in consent, "You're right, Bubby. Why do you think it matters that we know 'All have sinned'? What does that tell us about who we are and what we need?"

He ponders the question and responds, "Because we need God."

Ding-a-ding. Give that boy a prize.

I take a last bite of peach and internally consider what recognizing our depraved need does for us. What happens when we don't acknowledge it? After all, if we think "we're pretty good," what use do we have for a Savior? In our minds, we don't need saving. We become the proverbial man on the roof, stranded by high-rising flood waters, oblivious to our impending doom, shaking a shoo-away hand at anyone who comes by in a boat.

Peace and security don't follow ignorant distraction. Or from pretending that our truth is found in an alternate reality--one that denies our Creator, our need for saving, and our Savior's plan. He's the one that writes the story and He's already scripted the final plot twist and climax.

Going back to my son--lest you think him a redeemed angel--he proved his point in full display not one hour later. Refusing to obey to my command and yelling explosively at his brother, he demonstrated the ugliness of our natural sinful state. Calmly instructing him in how he should talk to his brother and me (ahem, screaming "I hate you!" is not okay) did not result in remorse. The consequence of losing treats, TV and shortening his bedtime just invoked further outrage.

People often see consequence as some kind of annoying blight on their fun. In other words, if people just ignored a standard of absolute right/wrong, everyone could do what's right in his own eyes and all would be well. Really? Does anything become punishable at that point? Who determines what is morally wrong and what isn't? Authorities? What if those in power change...do morals morph too? Some would say a culture determines what's permissible and what's punishable? Some would say it's "majority rules." If that idea were true, then people would agree that Germans should have fully complied to Nazi standards. That major genocide was acceptable.

Without launching into a deep theological explanation--that's not the purpose of this post--we have to ask ourselves, who decides what's good enough? If the standard is ever fluctuating, how do we rely on it? If it's cultural, is it dependable?

Obviously, the standard--if it's to be one at all--must rest contingent on a source outside ourselves. The law of gravity isn't subject to human interpretation. Of course, I suppose you could claim, "I defy gravity and will prove that my way is better" and jump off a 10-story building. Of course, you'd only prove that gravity remains steadfast and people that jump are people that die.
Likewise, the definition of right/wrong, good/evil, and sin originates with the One who writes the Story.

We are born broken.
We are walking dead.
We are fallen and prone to stumble.
We are selfish.
We are lustful and rebellious.

But, we are created for a different purpose.

We are called created with a plan.
We are cherished and valuable.
We are wanted.
We are loved.

We were designed for a life other.

But, we can't get there on our own.

No amount of denial or striving or conjuring will get us to the side of eternal atonement.
We need a Redeemer.

You aren't good enough, and therefore, you should rejoice! The hope of salvation doesn't have to come from within, for He already covered it all. Everything you did and couldn't do was buried with Him and now we rise again renewed and eternal. We've been given a new hope.

1 Peter 1:18-21The Message)

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.

It Could Cost You

2016-08-29T12:40:00.002-07:00

I'm not much of a crier, but the last ten minutes could prompt it. More than anything, I'm just frustrated with myself for not taking five seconds longer to be more cautious.

What happened, you ask? The Wal-mart parking lot, that's what--the most dangerous place in Branson. I've pretty much seen it all--a lady and her grocery cart knocked over by a passing car, my children and I nearly run over by impatient drivers, my van nearly backed into many times. I'm telling you, that place is a close call waiting to happen.

So, I'm in a hurry because I have three hours to shop, get stuff home, finish grading some papers and go pick up my kids. I'm returning a cart, but I'm slipping it through two vehicles, one of which isn't lucky enough to remain untouched. The grocery cart decided to leave a two-inch kiss across a cherry-red truck. A surface scratch--something few people, if any, would notice unless they were looking for it. But, I wasn't being careful; it shouldn't have been there in the first place.

I wrestled with leaving the truck without a note; after all, it's not like I dented the side of someone's door. But, after my pastor's message Sunday morning, I knew I had to leave a note. Overboard to some, but after all, isn't that what integrity is about? Character requires us to be honest even when it hurts. It says "be different and do the right thing"--show that others matter more than your comfort...or wallet.

As I'm starting my note, a middle-aged lady and her friend come out and saddle up to the truck.

I approach her, "Is this your vehicle, ma'am? I wanted to let you know that I put a small scratch in the back by the bumper."

She lets out a little 'oh no' before glancing at the scrape while her friend responds to me, "Oh, that's nothing."

"Well, I just wanted to do the right thing and let you know." I finish writing down my information.

She takes it and says, "Well, this is my husband's truck, so I don't know what he'll do." Never a good sign when a couple doesn't take dual ownership of a vehicle. Apparently it's his baby and she's not going to claim responsibility one way or the other.

She proceeds, "We're actually from Arizona [which I already knew by their plates], and we have a second home here." Great. More good news.

I want to plead with her that we live on a limited budget; that I can't afford to spend money on cosmetic make-up for a truck. I want to tell her that I'll donate money to her favorite charity. I want to beg for mercy. But, I'm relatively self-respecting and don't make a habit of groveling. Instead, I re-iterate my desire to do the right thing, and pray that the gold cross around her neck prompts her to show grace.

I don't know what the outcome will be, but I know I did what I was supposed to--even if it costs me. In the mean time, I'll be a little more careful with grocery carts and pray I don't see an Arizona area code on my phone.

Turning the Mirror Out

2016-08-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

If mothering has taught me anything--and it has taught me plenty--I see firsthand how life isn't about me. Despite our cultural standard, our lives should be consumed with sacrifice, dedication, service. Christ didn't nod at his followers and pose comfort as our goal. In the ESV study Bible, the commentary on Galatians 6:2 ("Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ") states our purpose this way: "To 'bear one another's burdens is the supreme imitation of Jesus, the ultimate burden-bearer (Rom. 15:1-3). He has gone to the length of taking mankind's sin [our ultimate burden] and the curse of the law upon himself."

Crawling outside our own comfort-zones, desires, and yes, even our own misery allows us to partake in something Divine. We are saying to those we serve, "It's not just me that matters, but you. You are valuable.You are worth it." And in that assistance, we mirror the humble and kind ministration of our Savior. Philip Yancey says that "the very process of responding to the needy can give a new meaning to life" (The Question That Never Goes Away 53). We find our hope, joy, and purpose in serving as Christ served...even to the point of death--though few will have to encounter that extreme sacrifice.

Choose to be counter-cultural; choose to be more Christ-cultural in your relationships.

1. Instead of saying, "Look at this; look at me!" say, "Look at you. Look at what He did in you."
Be a voice of encouragement and hope. Find something to praise in someone and speak it over them.

2. Instead of saying, "So, this is what I want to do. This is what my life looks like," say, "What are your dreams/goals for the future? What are you working toward right now? What is God revealing to you?"
Taking time to ask heart-felt questions and truly listen to the answers. Asking and listening will acquire more meaningful relationships than you've ever imagined.

3. Instead of complaining about the obstacles in your life, find someone whose situation is raw and painful. Look for their needs and do what you can to meet them. Taking meals to new moms, mowing lawns for the elderly, taking groceries to the poor should be done without any expectation of reciprocity. We aren't doing it to network or earn a name for ourselves. We are doing it for them, for Christ, and for the honor of imitating our Lord.

Romans 12:13
When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Hebrews 13:16

Hebrews 6:10
For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do.

Through the Valley of the Shadow

2016-08-01T20:10:00.005-07:00

"So" seems to be the way to start a conversation these days. As in, "and so..." because every little tidbit of experience stacks onto the next, till the details of life start to feel like a 2-ton truck hitting you on full speed and then sitting there on your chest. And you can't take any more details, or lists, or complaints, from your life or anyone else's.

Is life too much? For me, not typically. But, here and there, the weeks catch up and the speed of my thoughts won't parallel the time to process them out. And even praying feels somehow exhausting.

Your computer won't work. No big deal.
Your pantry is suddenly infested with ants of unknown entry. Handled.
Your eye somehow gets something in it and burns like hell. Water. Pain solved.
You jab the other eye with a mascara wand. At least they're evenly red now.
Your potty-trained son decides to poop in his pants.
Your other son screams "I hate you!" and slams the door.
Your daughter laments from her bed because you won't let her bake anymore sweets.
You read a book for a class you are supposed to teach and the words seem like gibberish. Amidst the nominalizations and academic jargon, you wonder how you would summarize such nonsensical syntax, let alone explain it.
Your child throws a major tantrum during Sunday morning worship.
Your new class seems to be falling apart before it's even started.
Your daughter refuses to do anything with arguing.

And those are the minor infractions. Hardly suffering. Speedbumps, really. But, not major wreckage.

But, there's the head-on collisions too. All around me, impacting those I love.
Depression, suicide attempts, broken hearts, broken marriages, suffering children, abuse, neglect, and more besides.

Sometimes the "and so" can feel like one too many. The weight of all that isn't right seems to shatter all that is. My spirit crumples and for a few hours (maybe days), I am undone. Unguarded. Unmotivated. Tired and angry but not angry enough to fight--to fight the right enemy.

I blame myself, I blame other people, I blame this crappy life.

Even so, this life here on this broken earth isn't meant to feed that which aches and craves. Our deepest satisfaction will be fulfilled in another place and with the Ultimate Person, but for now, everything is a bit hazy (I Cor. 13:12). Although we may taste morsels now (Ps. 34:8), the rich reward for our souls will come later (2 Timothy 4:8,)

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. I Cor. 13:12

That "seeing dimly" part can get rather discouraging at times. Although I'm legally blind (I couldn't drive without glasses, let alone see to make my children breakfast or type on a computer), I'm thankful to live in a day with corrective lenses. Sometimes I misplace my glasses and have to walk to another room to find them. Even those few short steps feel longer than usual because I can't see everything that's around me. I have to reach out a hand to keep from banging into obstacles. I feel out of control and a little vulnerable.

In a similar theme, we stride on this earth for just a few brief steps. We can't see everything that is taking place around us (both the good and the bad--Ephesians 6:12), but we've been told very clearly who our enemy is (I Peter 5:8).
2 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Eph. 6:12

Two Sundays back we watched a short video clip that talked about the Enemy's tactics. He hates us; He hates all the God has created and redeemed and wants nothing more than to pulverize it. He wont' give you a break. He won't let you catch your breath. He is no gentleman. And if he can't tempt you into immorality and apathy, he'll try to get you so busy, you are distracted from the best thing you could be doing. And if that doesn't work, He'll discourage you. He'll saturate your mind with thoughts like, "What does it matter?" "Who cares anyway?" "Why am I even here?" "It's all just too much to hold together?" "I can't do it." And if he manages to keep you discouraged long enough and gets you to that darkness, he can destroy you.

That's where I was Sunday afternoon. I'd laid down my offensive weapon and had a meltdown. At times, our emotions need release; if we don't let some pressure off at vital moments, the dam will eventually rupture. And then, what a flooded mess it leaves in its wake.

Do tears exhibit a lack of strength? No. Sometimes, we have to allow ourselves enough vulnerability to recognize our need and where our dependence lies. If we see that our dependence has been leaning against our own "do-it-yourself" attitude, than we've lost sight of our purpose and our energy source. And nothing succeeds on an eternal level when we declare ourselves capable within our own strength.

It's His story and we are here for Him. So whether the season feels like one of struggle, or drought, or confusion, or just good ol' fatigue, perhaps it's time to allow what's deeper access to the light. What is it that is anchoring us? Are we anchored at all? If our anchor is ourselves we're in for a major wind-whipping--exhaustion will be quick to follow.

Take John 16:33 to heart: Christ told us we'd have it tough here. It won't be easy but hold out hope (our steadfast anchor), He will bring us in. He will bring us to the shores of Heaven. He told us so, so that when we get shaken by tumultuous seas, we'd hold on and rest in His peace.

And so, my dear, if you are in Him, you are not alone.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid.

Human Understanding

2016-07-08T16:42:00.000-07:00

Me. You. Them. Us.
Against.
Everyone.
Else.

Prejudice boundary lines are dividing people in implosive ways this week.

Different colored skin? Target.
Different religious beliefs? Target
Different moral code? Target
Different occupation? Target

Wait, what?

Now--more than I've seen in my lifetime--police officers are murdered because they wear a badge. Those who sacrifice safety to protect ours--and get little compensation or accolades for it--are now the ones people want to kill? Tell me where is the sense in that?
For the sake of argument, perhaps a cop makes a mistake in another state--gets a little too trigger happy (as many are saying). Perhaps disciplinary action should take place. But, why oh why, should people then think that all cops everywhere are evil? What would happen to our world without officers? Talk about the epitome of illogical reasoning and ignorant prejudice.

If a teacher thrashes a student for misbehaving and steps over the acceptable code of conduct line, do we then declare all teachers abusive and negligent? Of course not. To do so would be absurd.

If a service-repair man comes to fix an issue with your appliance and doesn't reconnect tubes properly, and water leaks all over your new hardwood floors (yes, this actually happened to my friend), do you then declare all repair people dishonest and lazy and organize a party to have them all tied up and hung? Your friends would think you'd jumped off the deep end, wouldn't they?

If a Christian twists Scripture and uses it to manipulate and slander and shows nothing of God's grace and loving truth to people, should we denounce all Christians as bigoted and judgmental liars? Hmm...

What's going on in our country results from a world thrown into chaos by situational ethics.
When we determine what the "good" and the "evil" is and it's subjective to our own moral code, not only does common sense depart us, but our God-established ability to understanding right and wrong also vanishes.

Murder is murder, whether your skin is white, black, or covered with a badge.
Hating another human being grows from selfish prejudice: I am better than you, my ways are better than yours, you are not acceptable, therefore--and here comes the scary conclusion--you should be discarded.

But, if we try to understand just a little, if we show some compassion, and attempt to empathize with another person, we have stepped back closer into what it means to love...to be human, designed in God's image.

So, I'd encourage those grieving and those angered to rise up and say "enough!" Enough with discarding that which we don't understand. Enough with killing that which we don't like. Enough with saying, "My way or you all die!"

Humility brings us to a place of community and right desires.
Charity allows us to forgive and move to a place of wholeness and wisdom.
And God's standards free us from creating faulty ones that corrupt and crumble.