emma's blog

Upcoming posts

2015-08-06T07:17:00.002-07:00

Coming up this week

So I've been absent from blogging for quite some time. Now I'm back I've posted the first chapter from my latest horror story "Gateway to hell."

If you don't want to wait for the subsequent chapters to be posted ( Will be posted through the following weeks) then you can catch me at ; www.wattpad.com/eliza_crush where you can also read the following chapters, and my other works for free!

Also coming up ;

Guest posts from some fabulous writer's and bloggers also from Wattpad. Posting writing tips, extracts of their work, and humorous bits and pieces from their lives,
Short stories, and more chapters from my Wattpad publications in various genres.
Writing and blogging tips
My personal favourite...the calamities I manage to find myself in from day to day. I hope you laugh at me as hard as I laugh at myself.

That's it for now. I hope you enjoy the first chapter of Gateway to hell ( please note it is horror and some scenes are graphic, violent, and have bad language.)

Feel free to comment, even if it's because you want to tell me my writing sucks....although, don't ok...just No! ;-)

Eliza Crush ~~~ (pen name)

Gateway to hell ( Chapter 1)

2015-08-06T06:16:00.001-07:00

Chapter 1.

I am posting the first few chapters of my new horror story " Gateway to Hell." I hope you enjoy! At first it may seem the story is a little cliché, however if you stick with me, you will soon see that I am taking the story in a completely different direction!

If you enjoy my work, you can catch me on www.wattpad.com/eliza_crush.

I will post subsequent chapters as I write them.

To her surprise , the pointer shot to 'yes' once she had commandingly and theatrically announced

"are there any spirits here with us?"

Both girls eyed Kendall suspiciously.

"Ha! See what did I tell you? We may have a ghost tell us this weeks lottery numbers yet!"

Kendall snickered. She cleared her throat and began again.

"Is there someone here in the room with us now?"

The pointer again slid over to yes. Gabby put her head on the table, squinted one eye shut and peered at the pointer desperately trying to see if she could figure out who was pushing it as it slowly began to circle around impatiently waiting for a new question.

"Kendall, I know it's you pushing it, look at Neve she's bricking it. It can't be her!"

Gabby whined at her friend. Kendall glanced at Neve completely perplexed herself by the now looping motions of the Ouija boards pointer. Neve was shifting uncomfortably in her seat, her mouth a grimace of unhappiness at the evenings developments . Kendall shrugged it off, she didn't know if it was their collective energy or what, making it move. Who cares when it was just getting interesting? And Neve was always this serious, this was nothing new. She thought she would ramp up the tension a little more :

" If you're here with us and you are moving this pointer make yourself known to us."

The whirling pointer began to speed up again, faster, and faster round the board. Neve made a squeaking noise as she tried to protest, while Gabby glared at Kendall with narrowed eyes.

" Kendall if its not you moving this thing then I swear to god , I am outta here."

Gabby hissed at her. The pointer began spelling something out.

B...I...T..C...

That was enough for Gabby and Neve! They whipped their hands from the pointer so fast, it might as well of bitten them. Kendall sucked in a breath, very unsure of herself all of a sudden.

Immediately the atmosphere she had set up to create a Show for her friends seemed a little more sinister. The expensive lighting was dimmed, her moms expensive church candles situated around them casting a warm glow on the circle, and the vast expanse of living room shrouded in Eerie shadows. She studied the expressions on her friends faces, as they glanced nervously around the room as if a long dead grandparent were about to materialize in a dark corner somewhere.

Unease crept up Kendall's spine. The pointer was still again. If she quit now, she'd would look weak, even if her friends were terrified already. Weakness was not something she dealt well with.

" It's just started working, it was trying to say something? We can't quit now, let's ask it some questions?"

Kendall stated, her hand back on the pointer. Her very dubious friends tentatively following suit.

" Can you tell us you're name?"

She asked, as the pointer once again began to whirl around the board.

Neve, the quieter of the trio studied her friends face to see if she really believed there was something here with them. She caught a slight and brief furrow in her perfectly manicured brows as the pointer began to jerkily spell out a few letters. Before either girl could register what they were experiencing a splintering 'crack' broke the silence, glass exploding in a spray of shrapnel as if a bomb had exploded from within the fallen object! Neve flew at the light switch , and Gabby shrieked as if the finger of death had fallen upon her.

"Hey, hey, it's ok. It was just moms chandelier."

Kendell grabbed at one of her spooked friends, and tried to sit her back down.

"Oh god look at it! She is going to KILL me."

Kendall's calm slipped away at the sight of the smashed crystal strewn across the table.

"What the hell did that to it though? Why did it fall like that?"

Neve gestured wildly at the decimated object.

Before they could contemplate any more, the front door slammed and voices filled the hallway. Kendell's older sister Morgan popped her head around the corner.

"Hey Kendall, I found these two degenerates skulking around outside. I guess they are here for you? Some of us have studying to do, so try not to raise the decibel level ok?"

Not noticing the devastation of the broken lamp, she swept back her hair and continued on upstairs trailed by her boyfriend heavily laden with all Morgan's text books. Kendell's boyfriend Alex, and his best friend Wayne shuffled into the room sheepishly.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Kendell drawled, her eyes fixed on the mess across the dining table.

"We got kinda bored and thought we'd see what you girls are doing?"

Alex hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"Woah..what ARE you doing exactly? This a Ouija board?"

Wayne's eyes widened in surprise as he swept the glass of the surface of the thing, craning his neck to get a better look. Gabby and Neve glanced at each other, eyebrows raised worried at what was sure to follow.

" What happened in here?"

Alex and Wayne spoke simultaneously.

Kendell ran her perfectly manicured fingernails through her thick, perfectly highlighted mane of blonde hair.

"It was nothing. We were messing around with this thing and mom's chandelier broke. Bad timing that's all."

Convincing as she sounded, she wrapped her arms round herself and suppressed a shudder.

" We are so doing this!"

Wayne snatched up the board, and headed to the coffee table to set it up. Neve shot forward, getting out of his way, trepidation etched on her plain features.

" No way am I touching that thing again. I'll clean up the mess before you're mom gets home."

She whispered to Kendall as she bustled past her to hunt out the dust pan and brush.

Kendall scanned her friends faces. Both Alex and Gabby were alight with eager anticipation awaiting the nod of approval from their unspoken ring leader.

"I guess since Neve is cleaning up."

She intoned, bustling her friends toward the seating area where Wayne was focused on positioning the pointer, the tip of his tongue poking through his upper lip in a expression of fierce concentration. After all, she wasn't one to forgo the opportunity to be the focus of their groups attentions. Leading a séance, with her friends hanging on her every word was something she just couldn't pass up. Gabby positioned herself next to Wayne, a smug grin plastered across her face. Kendell winked at her knowingly. No way would she have been up for another round of this had he not shown up. It was the perfect opportunity to get as close to him as she desired. Kendell slipped into the opposite two seater, Alex slid his arm around her waist protectively. She was glad of the support, a little voice at the back of her mind screamed at her to back out, but never in her life had she walked away from an audience and she wasn't about to now.

Think of the attention she could get from Alex, she thought to herself.

"Ok then, fingers on the pointer everyone."

Kendall cleared her throat dramatically ; " Are there any spirits in the room with us today?"

Wayne guffawed loudly, causing Gabby to giggle girlishly beside him.

" Shut up Wayne. You have to take this seriously for it to work."

Kendall sniffed haughtily. Alex kicked his disruptive friend under the table, and he held his palms out in submission. She gave Wayne and Gabby one last chiding glance and continued.

" If there are any spirits in the room with us, make yourselves known and move the pointer?"

Again the pointer shot across the board to 'yes'. The group gasped collectively.

"Not again." Gabby squealed, clutching Wayne's arm as if the pointer had burnt her. Kendall tutted.

"Hands back on quick! Do you have a message for us?"

She questioned into the air.

The pointer began to shoot across the board, uncontrollably. Kendall's breath caught in her throat, and she couldn't swallow, her throat was on fire. She was vaguely aware of Neve behind them making soft whimpering sounds. Alex pulled her hand off the pointer, eager to put a stop to this.

The stereo burst into life with a hiss of static, and before they could register what it was a booming voice spat:

"CUNT!"

Before she could even comprehend what was going on, she was aware of the skin on her arm ripping with a burning agony.

The stereo clunked into silence, and Kendall filled it with a gut wrenching scream.

Irrational female weirdness!

2011-03-28T04:27:00.001-07:00

I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes? Well, I do...I'm female!

My husband and i were supposed to go on holiday for two weeks in portuagal. My regular readers will know i am completely agoraphobic. So when the time came near to go, i freaked out and decided i was going nowhere. The thought of not being able to get home for two whole weeks terrifies me! Fortunately, there were others joining us on our hols, and i gladly announced to my other half;

" no darling OF COURSE i don't mind you going without me...i'll be fine on my own!"

NEWS FLASH: I am not fine, not fine at all! I'm miserable, and scared, and pregnant!

Seriously...what the heck is going on with me? Eight years ago i lived on the streets for a couple of months, now i am falling apart and becoming a gibbering wreck in the comfort of my marital home. Marriage has turned me into a big baby!

Anyway, the point is this: I was glad to have him go without me, in fact i was relieved to be off the hook about it, and now? Now i'm just mad he damn well left me in the first place! How dare he go off enjoying himself, leaving me alone and miserable. HE JUST LEFT! HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME LIKE THAT?? See....angry! Completely irrational

*Sigh 11 days to go.

Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

How to use setting in your writing?

2011-03-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

Setting is a major consideration and powerful tool in fiction writing. However, it is not just fiction writing that a good setting can be useful, but also can be used to bring a blog to life. Travel bloggers can use setting to entice their readers into really feeling the culture of a place, the architecture, and landscape. Used appropriately a setting can really make any type of blog post "pop", making your writing stand out from the millions of other blogs out there.

Setting means a certain place at a certain time, a stage. When and where does your story take place? Show us that place? For example...Waterloo railway station, on a crisp winter morning at 7.00am. Give details of the surroundings. The commuters arriving for work, smartly dressed men in suits with shiny black briefcases. Their early morning sighs, creating puffs of frosty breath that dissipates into the crisp winter air. The morning stillness is broken by the boom of a nasal voice announcing the approaching train. You see, we are ready to visualise the action now that we have a stage.

Although saying that, be careful of too much detail as it can become really boring and long winded, and readers often skip passages to get to the action. When descriptions of a place drag, the problem is usually not with the setting, but in presenting it too slowly. Make your descriptions dynamic and quick. Imagine you are watching a film. You wouldn't see half an hour of scenery before meeting the actors. So when you show your setting, give only a few details that will evoke a place. If the details are vivid, the reader will create a picture in their imagination.

When you write an article you ask " who, what, when, where, how and why?" when creating a story, ask "where, and when?" That is your setting!

If you are interested in a more detailed article about settings, just email me at meami_5@live.com

What would you like to see this week?

2011-03-07T03:15:00.001-08:00

Hi guys. Just a quick post to ask what you would like a post on in the next few days, id really like to know what would be more useful to you?

A) Blogging tips.

B) Creative writing advice.

C) Other (please let me know eg. humour, life, finance, relationships etc.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Emma xx

Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

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10 Sneaky ways to get your man to do what you want!

2011-03-04T03:05:00.000-08:00

This post is only for fun and should be taken with a pinch of salt.

1. Stand in front of the TV when he's playing his x box, and refuse to move until he agrees with you.

2. Tell him your ex wo7uld have done it. Their ego's can't resist this one.

3. Top tip : Most men will agree to anything just before or in the minutes after sex. ;)

4. Ask him at 4.00am, he'll probably tell you "yes" to get you to go back to sleep.

5. Tell him he can either take you dancing/pictures/beach/bowling/pub, or he can babysit while your slightly wild, single friend takes you.

6. If you want him to spend more time with you, sell his game station while he's out, and tell him you were burgled. Not only will you get his full attention, but you will have extra cash for the electric bill that needs paying!

7. Tell his mum. She'll be so concerned you might split up and he will have to move back home with her, she will have him agreeing to your demands in no time!

8. Tell your mum....the disapproving glances she gives him will have him treating you like a queen, while still thinking it was his idea!

9. Have your best mate come round and loudly announce the hot guy from your fav coffee shop, asked for your number. Him thinking he has competition will jump start the romantic gesture's before you can say " cappachino please."

10. If you have got this far and suggestions 1-9 haven't worked.....you probably need a new man, as this one has no pulse! ;)

Improve your writing talent.

2011-02-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

Do you want to improve your writing without spending a fortune on creative writing courses?

Do you struggle making your characters realistic? Is your dialogue stilted? Or maybe like me, you have trouble writing with point of view? Maybe you just want to make your blog posts 'pop'!

Wether you are an amateur, proffesional writer, or a keen blogger, we can all do with sharpening our creative skills. So, here are a few products to help you become the writer you want to be.

1st creative writing course - Learn how to write non fiction, best selling books. - Click Here! - $20.76
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Six ways to turn your good writing into great writing. - Helping all writers bring their writing to a higher level. - Click Here! - $8.73
Polish and publish - the indispensable toolkit for creative writers. - Start or accelerate your creative writing career, so you can be successful doing what you love the most- writing! This e book will tell you everything you need to know to start and continue writing. - Click Here! - $0.00
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Effective writing made simple - All you need to know about good writing. Grammer, sentance style, choice of words, paragraph development etc. - Click Here! - $3.02
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101 ways to power up your writing. - Writing tips and advice from a fortune 500 writer. Prevent embarressing english mistakes. Write with power and impact. - Click Here! - $12.57

How to make money from your blog - part 3.

2011-02-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

# A beginners post

Many new bloggers search the Internet every day to find specific ways to make money blogging, and find it very difficult to find definitive methods of making money from a blog. I have put together this post to give you the three sure fire ways to get a decent income from your blog, and how these methods work for the bloggers using them.

Advertising
Affiliate marketing
Selling products and services.

Advertising

Use google adsense to place advertisements on your blog, at adsense Google will provide adverts relating to topics covered on your blog, and you will be paid for every reader that clicks on an advert. You can also advertise space on your blog. ( advertisers pay to rent space on your blog for their adverts. ) You can find companies that offer this service by doing a quick Internet search, by typing "ad space for rent." Or something similar.

Affiliate marketing.

Sign up for a free account at clickbank. Find products that interest you and relate to your blog, and promote and/or sell them in your posts. Amazon also has a great affiliate program at Amazonassociates They also do most of the work for you, picking products that relate to your blog, allowing shoppers to buy straight from you. If you would like to sell certain products relating to your niche, use amazon product finder to handpick the goods you want to sell.

Selling products and services.

Create your own product, such as an e book, audio or video dvds, or a home study course and sell them from your blog.
Host your own workshop or seminar, and sell tickets to it on your blog.
Record the seminar or workshop, and then sell the dvd on your blog.
provide consulting or coaching services ( this works best when you have a niche or "how to " blog.) by the hour.
If you have a niche blog, eg. A blog about make up tips. Try adding a shopping cart to your blog and sell make up or skin creams.

Once these methods are implemented and your blog is running smoothly and you are posting regularly, this can lead to other options that can indirectly earn you money from blogging.

Invitations to guest blog.
Invitations to speak at conferences and seminars.
Opportunity to write and publish a book ( which can then be publicized and sold on your blog.)
Free products to sample and review.
The chance to establish yourself as an expert in your chosen subject.

An example of a blogger who began by implementing these techniques, is Frances Kerr. Her income ranges from $4000 - $8000 a month, with a niche blog on alternative health and skin care.
She began making money with adsense, then by selling banners to sponsors, and from there reviewing affiliate products like e books and dvds. After 18 months of this, she wrote her first e book on acne treatment , which resulted in a steady income stream continued to this day. Next she launched her own online store and began selling skin care creams. This led to private consulting for an hourly fee.
Take a look at this podcast, to find out how she built her business in detail, with some great tips to get you started.

This months blogging

2011-02-18T03:31:00.001-08:00

As of monday im back baby!! Broadband will be installed on monday so my laptop is finally in operation again!!

The very miserable blogging hiatus is over, so bear with me my lovely followers, this month i will bombard you with some great blogging and creative writing tips, punctuated by some lighthearted banter, and some new short stories.

Please let me know if there is any topic you would particularly find useful, and it shall be done! :)

Heres to a productive month all round!

Emma xxx

Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

The only way is essex stars sam and Mark on secret holiday together?

2011-01-10T10:49:00.001-08:00

mark wright

"ToWIE" stars Samantha Faiers and Mark Wright, were last seen on our screens heading off in a taxi together to share a romantic tryst. Two days ago they both jetted off on a mini break, although Sam claims in her recent tweets she is holidaying with co star Harry Derbridge.

When asked by a fan on twitter if she was going with Mark, she claimed;

"no Harry!"

Sam tweets;

From: @SamanthaFaiers

Sent: 8 Jan 2011 04:01

On the way to the airport !! :-) bye Essex!

Coincidentally, Mark tweets;

From: @MarkWright_

Sent: 7 Jan 2011 23:10

9 hour flight 1st class, lagging not a cloud in the sky i can feel 1 amazing trip. C u soon england

On the same morning, funny that? (note the time on their tweets?)

While Mark poses for the above photo, alone. Sam`s photos are also curiously devoid of a travelling companion;

From: @SamanthaFaiers

Sent: 10 Jan 2011 10:05

Wow sunset and my sunbathing view ! Xx Jel? http://yfrog.com/h668srj

Something has clearly put a smile on Mark`s face, as he tweets from his holiday location ;

From: @MarkWright_

Sent: 9 Jan 2011 03:50

Il make you feel your "the only girl in the world "

From: @MarkWright_

Sent: 8 Jan 2011 02:28

Omg im in the best place in the world living the dream The sky is the limit i loive once so fuck it !! Never look bk out wiv old in wiv new

"Out with the old, in with the new." Oh yes, what or who could he possibly referring to...hmm? ;)

So just remember when the truth comes out, you heard it here first! :)

Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

Twitter community outraged at the pro anorexia comments of Kenneth Tong, ( past big brother contestant )

2011-01-08T07:05:00.001-08:00

The whole twitter community is up in arms, fuelled by the constant tweets of a Mr Kenneth Tong, promoting the size 0 trend and what he calls "managed anorexia" and becoming a size zero by cutting out food altogether.

sending out tweets such as;

From: @MrKennethTong
Sent: 7 Jan 2011 6:23pm

"Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better. Food is good, thin is better. Think about this before your Dinner..."

He also claims to have invented a size Zero pill, that according to his tweets, he will be testing on ten of his followers, selected by a photo and a brief statement as to how the pill would change their lives.

Worryingly enough, his ghastly, ill informed message with tweets such as ;

"Managed anorexia is not life threatening, it gives living another chance after you messed it up eating too much."

This is the kind of sickening message that is now trending worldwide on the twitter network, encouraging young girls to starve themselves. Even manipulating them with their favourite celebrities!

"Inner beauty is as convincing of an argument and idea as @JustinBieber dating a fat girl. We all know she'll be skinny and size zero."

Even more disturbing is the fact he seems to have young girls under a sort of size zero mentor ship.

From: @MrKennethTong
Sent: 7 Jan 2011 1:17pm

"@Shaunna_D Just checking in on how your weight loss & dieting is, your my youngest dieter. Don't let the fat oppress, they're just jealous."

From: @MrKennethTong
Sent: 6 Jan 2011 8:34am

"Girl I've been thinspiration to slept with Drake last night, had she not been size zero: no chance." http://twitpic.com/3ngnap

How can this be allowed to continue, and when will twitter take notice and remove him? His warped comments are causing young girls to actually begin the process of starving themselves!

"RT @shannafraser: @MrKennethTong Iv Lost 3 Pounds in 4 days thanks to you Kenneth I needed to realis that thin is fashion and you cant hide behind curvy thnx"

Comments made to Kenneth Tong by celebrity personalities such as Simon Cowell, rhianna and many more outraged by his comments, are only serving to encourage his behaviour;

From: @MrKennethTong
Sent: 8 Jan 2011 11:35am

"RT @RochelleTheSats: @MrKennethTong Your tweets are upsetting a lot of people, including myself! It's very vile! Twitter isn't meant for people like you!!"

As he gleefully retweets this plea to stop from Rochelle the Saturdays, arrogantly replying;

From: @MrKennethTong
Sent: 8 Jan 2011 11:41am

"@RochelleTheSats I'm a fan of rhetorical questions so I pose you this: if you were fat do you think would you've been part of the Saturdays?"

His shameless use of celebrity has began to take a worrying turn however, as he hints that Gordon Ramsey, endorses his size zero message;

From: @MrKennethTong
Sent: 7 Jan 2011 5:37pm

http://twitpic.com/3bss54 - "Have reached out to @GordonRamsay01 to assist in promoting my size zero campaign... Picture of us together."

The whole debate looks set to run and run. Although if twitter were just to delete his account, this attention seeker would loose his platform from which to influence these vulnerable young women, and this man would be forced to crawl back under his rock! As actor David Shneider wisely suggests, tweeting;

From: @davidschneider
Sent: 8 Jan 2011 9:29am

"I have unfollowed Kenneth Tong. The only way to make him see the error of his ways is to reduce his follower count to size zero."

If you have young women in your family, beware of what they are reading on twitter. Please help stop this man influencing any other young minds. Did this post inspire a reaction in you? If so, please shout it out here, and comment.

I have asked Mr Tong for a quote before publishing this. As of yet, no reply. I also asked for a quote on claims he is just fame hungry and a celeb wannabe. As of yet, no reply ;)

Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

Warning signs to look out for in a new relationship!

2010-12-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

How many times have you met a seemingly nice guy/girl , dated then for a while, only to discover he/she is a lying, cheating, scumbag. Or, just plain psychotic. You know, the ones who end up stalking you for 6months after you've ended it, or ran screaming to the police station, while dragging them because they are still attatched to your leg!

Luckily, this can be avoided. Look out for these signs on the first few dates, and if your new beau displays more than five of them....run, and maybe put your pet bunny rabbit into hiding for a while ;)

1) He/she steals your mums number out of your mobile when you go to the bathroom.

2) He/she puts your phone number as no.1 on their speed dial, on the first date!

3) What you once thought was affectionate cuddling, becomes more like a ball and chain.

4) The flirty hand/knee/thigh touching, that goes on to let the other party know your interested, gets steadily more intense untill they actually LICK YOUR FACE!! (this happened to me on a date. He thought it was cute, and would make him seem quirky. The look of surprise on his face as i punched him on the nose, was priceless)

5) When eating out, they have ordered for you before you arrive.

6) They have spookily ordered your favourite food + drink to try + impress you, claiming it's fate or something, but have previously harassed all your friends for the information.

7) By the 2nd date, he has a photo of you as his wallpaper (on his/her phone)

8) Your mum calls you and says "Why did'nt you tell me you had a new boyfriend/girlfriend . And such a lovely young man/lady too!

9) On your next date, they give you a rose for each day you've known each other. Some might say this is romantic, but smacks of desperation to me, hhmmm.

10) They begin planning where you will settle down. "some place nice in the country for the kids to grow up!" -seriously...run...now!!

11) You find a list of baby names in their notebook.

12) When you look out the window late at night, you see a familiar shape lurking in the shadows, staring up at your window.

13) When you pass a photo booth, they suggest having one of those photos done, where they merge your faces, so you can see what your kids would look like, and it's only date 3.

14) You jump every time your phone rings or a text comes through, because you know it's likely to be them for the 20th time that morning, to say "I wuv you" with a picture of a teddy and too many hearts to count. ----Aaarrghhh!!

15) You turn up at your mums for sunday lunch and find them at the head of the table, grinning inanley while carving the roast!

Please feel free to add your nightmare bunny boiler situations, even if it's to get revenge on your ex!

Lets expose the psychos, and spare many more people from some seriously awful dates eh? ;)

Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

the object of my misery!

2010-11-29T06:30:00.001-08:00

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Apologies for the unwanted blogging break!

2010-11-27T15:10:00.001-08:00

My computer has died a slow agonizing death and I now have no access to the internet, leaving me unable to update my beloved blog as regularly as usual. I am now extremely miserable and plotting feverently to find a way to get back online as soon as possible. So please bear with me my lovely readers, I would hate to be bereft of your company any longer than I have to be.

If for the next month or so I give up buying food, heat, and electricity, I will probably be able to get a new laptop, and normal blogging service will be resumed. I promise to keep you updated on my progress in between fainting from hunger pangs ;) In the meantime you can contact me at meami_5@live.com (somebody please contact me I am completely isolated without the civilised world of the internet)
Please don't forget me?
Love a very unhappy Emma xx

Get paid to read and rate articles.

2010-11-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

Interestingly enough, I have come across a site called Readbud, that actually pay you to read and rate short articles.

The whole thing is extremely simple to use. Sign up at Readbud for your free account, pick up to 50 topics that interest you, click on the articles tab, and read and rate articles related to your chosen topics of interest. Articles range in length from 100 - 1000 words. At the end of each article rate it's merit, and interest to you by giving it a rating out of five.

That's the good news! However......

The downside to the whole process seems to be the high payout rate. You can not cash out your earnings until your payment reaches $50. Coupled with the fact that each article read pays between 3 - 15 cents, depending on the word count of the article, the payout of $50 can take some time to reach!

Readbud states you can receive up to 25 articles per day. I have been using Readbud for a week now, and have only managed to receive a maximum of 13 articles per day. Earning me approximately $5 this week so far. It all seemed a little too good to be true, so I checked out a few reviews of Readbud through google. Out of ten articles, all proclaiming Readbud to be a great resource for earning money online, one of these articles stated reports of some Readbud users when nearing the $50 payout threshold, reporting a large drop in articles available. Some only receiving up to three articles a day. One Readbud user managed to persevere through this to reach the $50 required payout, only to be told they were not eligible for payment as they had not taken enough time reading articles, and merely skipped through them. Months wasted viewing articles to be told this? Why not tell this poor woman before she had wasted all her time reading articles for them?

Personally, I intend to carry on with Readbud. If only to discover if it is possible to earn money with this company? Look out for my follow up post in a few months to discover if Readbud deliver. Or give it a try yourself and let us know how you get on?

The best blogging tools on the market ( at the cheaper end anyway! )

2010-10-31T07:15:00.000-07:00

There are so many blogs out there, that sometimes it can be a good idea to invest in a little help to get yourself noticed. If you want to blog for income, then there are some great tools to get you on the right track very quickly.

Take a look at these great products, some are FREE and some you can get for a small price. You are guaranteed to find something for whatever you want to acheive with your blog.

How to pump traffic to your blog using free google tools

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The most powerful auto blogging software - This is the first and only software that can grab full text content from rss feed source websites, and posts to 1000,s of your blogs, automatically on a push of a button. Works with free blogger.com as well as wordpress.

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Revenge of the spider.

2010-10-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

Our children are supposed to think we are brave. That we can protect them from anything......hmmmm, blew that one last night!

I tucked my daughter into bed. Kissed her goodnight, and headed back to the t.v. A little while later, she came back downstairs.

"Mummy I can't sleep. there are cobwebs on the ceiling and I'm scared the spiders will crawl on me when I go to sleep."

Cobwebs? - How embarrassing. Must remember to dust places other than the ones that fall directly in my eye line!

So, armed with a duster, I held my daughters hand and led her back to bed. Dutifully dusting away the cobwebs. " But mummy, the spiders may still be in the room." She gestured, wide eyed. Just then, our daft dog 'Honey' bounded in, tongue lolling ( think Santa's little helper from the Simpson's.) Sparking the memory that any spiders Honey sees, she catches, chews up, and spits them out. ( I guess those things taste really bad. Or it could just be that she really is a daft dog - check out the pic. And yea, she's wearing shorts. )

" Oh, baby, no need to worry. There are no spiders in our house because Honey eats them all up! Now they are too scared to come into our house. And if there are any spiders left, she'll get them, I promise."

My daughter cocked her head to one side seemingly remembering Honey tossing the last spider she caught up in the air, pouncing on it, and flicking it into the air again.

To prove to her it was safe, I scooted across the bed, and snuggled under her covers. " OK baby, you go get a book from your bookshelf, and mummy will read you a nice story to help you sleep."

So, off she shot to her bookcase, to no doubt pick the biggest, thickest book she could find. I wiggled further under the covers, when suddenly a slight movement caught my eye. I looked closer at the source of the movement. And, there running up the bed towards my face, at full speed, was the biggest, hairiest spider, i have ever seen. ( other than on the t.v of course.) I shot from that bed like someone had stuck a red hot poker up my arse. Limbs flailing, screaming for my husband at the top of my voice. My dumb spider eating dog laid on her back, paws in the air, wondering what all the fuss was about.

Luckily, I caught sight of my daughters bewildered face, and stopped shrieking like a bad actress in a slasher flick, just as my husband came barrelling through the door.

" What on earth is going on?"
My husband said.
" Erm CRAMP! Yes that's it...I had cramp!"
I muttered to my confused family.
My daughter sighed theatrically ; " Daddy, mummy saw a spider...I don't think she knows they can't eat you?" She said, and shook her head in exasperation.

Well i think I can safely assume she will be calling her daddy to check for spiders next time - eh?

Tips for driving traffic to your blog.

2010-10-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

When surfing the blog forums, there is one question I see cropping up again, and again. " How do I get more traffic?" After all you can have the most beautifully presented, well written blog, but it's not a lot of good if no one sees it.

So what can you do to increase traffic to your site? Here are a few techniques to create exposure and get people interested in your blog. At first you may not see amazing results, but as you keep at it, you will slowly see your traffic increase.

Visit blogs and forums.

If you have a niche blog, then visit other blogs within your niche and leave insightful comments. As I have said before, hopefully this will start a conversation, and you can leave links back to related articles on your blog. If you don't have a niche blog, then surf the types of blogs that interest you, and do the same. Visit blogging forums, and join in with the conversation, leaving a link to your blog. If people like your comments this will drive people to your site. Basically, this method goes back to the phrase content is king. Unless people think your content is valuable, they won't be coming back.
This technique won't drive hordes of traffic to your blog, but over time you will create a steady stream of traffic to your blog.

Respond to peoples questions in the forums, and write a detailed and thoughtful response. Or start a new thread with a question of your own, but instead of a one line question, submit a great article on a topic that is helpful to members of that forum ( find out what types of things they are talking about, or asking questions about ) At the end of the article invite them to discuss it. Then check back for comments and respond to them. This will drive traffic to your blog for a long time.

Article directories.

Find article directories that relate to your niche, or just a directory that publishes similar content to your own. Use your best articles, and if your content is valuable enough you only need submit to two or three to get the desired effect. Some of the best directories, with the most traffic ( more people to see your articles ) are:

zimbio
enzinearticles
weebly
easyjournal
Soulcast
Opendiary

As well as helping drive traffic to your blog, ( don't forget to add a link to your site at the end of the article.) this method helps with link building, which the search engines will pick up on. One major thing to remember when using article directories, is not to use content you have already published on your blog. As this will affect your search engine rankings, and you will be penalized for duplicate content. The content you publish in article directories must be unique.

Guest blogging.

Find a blog you admire or enjoy, or if you use googles blogspot ask one of the bloggers whose blog you follow if they would mind you writing a guest post on their blog. If you have a niche blog, ask blog owners within your niche.

Links to find other bloggers within your niche.

Stumbleupon
Digg
Delicious
Blogcatalog

Often other bloggers will often welcome extra content. Try to make sure it is some of your best writing. Remember to place a link back to your own blog somewhere in the post, or politely ask the blog owner where they would prefer you place the link.

Traffic from search engines.

Most successful blogs get 50% of their traffic from search engines, so this is quite an important aspect. The main way to get traffic from search engines, is to create consistently valuable content and regularly, to increase your chances of getting ranked in popular keyword search results. By creating relevant and useful content the search engines will begin ranking you well for your relevant keywords. The main thing to remember about using keywords is to make sure they are relevant. For example if you place the keywords "making money" throughout a post about dog grooming, then the search engine will know you are trying to beat the system, and you will be penalized...Actually, that's not the best example as you can make money dog grooming if it is your business, but you get my point, hopefully.

Use keywords throughout your posts in as natural a manner as possible, you don't want to affect the way it reads. ( I am rubbish at getting keywords into my posts, although I'm sure you will have much more common sense than I have and will do just fine.) Most importantly, try and get your keywords in your title. As search engines give preferences to keywords at the beginning of your headlines/ titles.

Social networking sites.

If you spend a lot of time on social networks, then think about how many contacts you already have that could be visiting or buying from your site? Put a link to your site on your profile page, update your status page announcing your latest blog post or product with a link to it. Maybe use the first few lines of your post as a teaser, inviting them to click on the link to read more?

I really hope you have found some of these tips helpful, and found something new you can use? There are so many amazing blogs out there going UN recognized. If you have any tips of your own, about traffic or any aspect of blogging, or would like to write a guest post on my blog. Please comment, leave your tips or email me at meami_5@live.com. If nothing else it is always good to have your links on other blogs ;)

Too much of yesterday, today.

2010-10-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

Did you know only one in ten women who have suffered domestic violence break the cycle, and end up in a non abusive relationship?

I am one of those lucky few. And because of this, i try to relish my present life with my husband and beautiful children, and try to stay away from the past. Unfortunately, this week that option has been snatched away from me. So this is going to Be a very difficult post to write....but i will write it, both to exorcise my demons, and for every woman out there who has been through a violent relationship.

It has been over a year since i heard from him last. He found me on facebook ( even though my privacy settings were water tight- or so i thought. ) He looked me up just to abuse and threaten me. My family and I, have moved hundreds of miles to be safe from him. And when i say family, I also mean my parents. Who received as many death threats as I did. He even physically assaulted my mother.

The contact was just another mind game. He loved mind games, and was so proud of his ability to play them so well. He used to whisper in my ear when we were in a room full of people, exactly what he was going to do to me when we got home. Delighting in the details of the violence. Then he would watch me crumble. To the people in the room, he was charm itself, and they would think me a miserable bitch that only brought him down. Then he would whisper that i was mental.

" You're mad, and everyone sees it."

He told me with an inane grin on his face. Occasionally this lead to such self loathing, i would self harm, and when people saw the cuts and scars, they would shake their heads, and say " poor him, having to put up with that crazy bitch." So you see what i mean - mind games? In a way it was a lot worse than the violence.

This week it is our daughters tenth birthday. ( he doesn't remember the actual date, just that it is the beginning of Oct some time. I doubt he knows how old she is even. ) And so yesterday, the phone rang. I looked at the screen, and my heart hammered in my chest as I realized the dialing code was the area code where he lives. It could only have been him. I know no one else in that area. I don't know how he could have possibly got my phone number, and the fact that he does terrifies me.

I answered the phone...Silence, then the click of the dial tone.

I have spent six years rebuilding my life. I am happy. I am free. What gets to me is this, after all this time, all it takes is that one phone call. The threat of hearing his voice, and being transported back to that place years ago, where i was a weak nothing. I think what upsets me most, is no matter how much my life has moved on, no matter how safe my husband makes me feel, I can still be terrified by the threat of him.

Does this mean I am still the person I was then? Am I still weak? No it does not. No I am Not. The fear i feel is for my children. They remember nothing of their father ( Ben has brought them up since they were small.) or the violence they saw. They know it happened. I tell them what is appropriate for their age. But they will NEVER live it. They will never be exposed to his bile. I swear it. The strength I needed to leave him, came from them, and the strength I need now, will come from exactly the same place.

Creative writing- How to use your personal experiences.

2010-10-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

Some one once told me there are only fourteen plot lines in the entire world. Every plot comes back to one of the fourteen, they are just re-hashed and slightly altered. Don't ask me what the fourteen plots are though, because I'm stumped after thinking of five. Basically the three main sources of good writing, start with one of these four options.

Rob the cradle.

Use your childhood and drain every last drop from it. Willa Carther said;

" Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen."

This doesn't necessarily mean you need to write your childhood memoirs, after all unless your rich and famous who is really going to care about your childhood. There are exceptions of course. Dave Peltzer wrote three books on his childhood, and all of them are best sellers. Transform the material from your childhood experiences, use it to build characters for your work. Or create a whole new persona totally different from yourself, but using your childhood experience. Write down your first three memories and see if you can make a story out of any of them. When you can't remember any more, keep going and see where it gets you?

Rob the grave.

Not as creepy as it sounds. I simply mean, study the lives of your ancestors. Pick out something that might look like an interesting tale and tell it as your story. Use the information to spark off other ideas, and fill in the gaps in your knowledge with your imagination. This way you can shape the story the way you want it to go, and maybe fit in a beginning, middle or end you may have in mind.

Rob from books.

Not literraly6 of course, that's plagiarism and you will probably get sued. Learn from what other writers have to say, and write variations on themes. It may seem a little naughty at first, as if your stealing other peoples ideas and can't think of any of your own, but bearing in mind there are only fourteen themes in the world, this can't be helped eh? Many great works of fiction have come from other peoples work. Homer wrote The Odyssey and the Iliad out of battle reports; Virgil wrote The Aeneid on Homer's work and continued it, and Dante wrote The Inferno based on Odysseus' trip to the underworld. Do you see what i mean?

Whats to stop you writing a modern day Enid Blyton's famous five? The ideas are endless. If you can't find a story from real life, look into what other peoples books are doing. After all this is your medium. When you read something that really impacts you, take it from there. You only need to use it as a starting point, and your imagination will do the rest.

Your personal experiences.

Always use what is going on in your life. No matter how boring you think it seems. Sometimes just a piece of dialogue is enough to provide you with a fantastic idea. If your looking for a good piece of dramatic writing, then recall a physical or verbal fight and construct a scene around it. Struggle, war, quarrel, or any conflict is a fast paced source of stories.

Write about a moment of terror you have experienced.

Write about an incident you avoid remembering, or can't remember clearly, and write about it. By writing about these difficult experiences you will create something that matters to you, and if you write it clearly and use the five senses while writing it ( smell, sight, touch, sound, taste ) then it will evoke such a clear picture for the reader, that they will care about it too.

Another year.....another wrinkle.

2010-10-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

I've only just stopped wailing, crying and saying things like, "My youth has go-onne." About turning 30, when BAM, my 31st birthday is looming. Not only that, but my daughter is ten next week. I have a ten year old daughter? Huh? When did that happen?

She doesn't seem to need me for much anymore *Said in whiny high pitched voice* She asked me for a drink, so i said " OK baby, I'll get it for you in a sec." A few minutes later i walked into the kitchen, to discover she had done it already. She does EVERYTHING herself!

I feel so redundant. I constantly suggest we pretend she is a baby again, and she should let mummy dress/wash/bathe her, but she just looks at me like I'm crazy, hmph! No one knows what us mothers go through *tut. All mothers go through this right? It's not just me?

I really don't want to turn 31. I have a five year plan I'm supposed to have completed by the time I'm 35. A plan i definitely have not started yet, well..more specifically a book i need to have written by the time I'm 35. It really does have to be done by then, as my brain cells are dying at an alarming rate, and i have no idea if i will be able to string a sentence together by then. *wink.

How to find your blogging voice.

2010-09-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

If i have to read one more blog post about what you had for breakfast ( with photos for goodness sake ) I am going to scream! This is the sort of blog post, i have come across time and time again when browsing blogs, looking for ideas for my own posts. And then there are the pro blogger, who insist you need to find a niche for your blog, and stick to it.

Personally i don't agree. There may be several things you are interested in writing about, and why should you have a different blog for each one? That's just not good time management. How are you going to find your blogging voice, if you just write about one thing, and who really wants to spend hours reading a blog about model airplanes? The main thing is blogging is supposed to be fun. There are five main types of blog pots, why not try your hand at each of them and see what suits you? Find your blogging voice, and have fun.

The personal experience post.

This is simply a written account of something you have experienced. Try and make it an experience that will interest people ( please no more accounts of what you've had for breakfast, lunch or any other meal.) It doesn't have to be dramatic, as long as readers can relate. Maybe the experience has taught you a lesson some how, or changed your view point, or helped you understand a situation you otherwise would not have understood.

The real life drama post.

It is truly amazing what some people go through and live to tell the tale. If you can put into words an account of your , or someone Else's dramatic true life tale, then you will have something unique your readers will be interested in reading. If you can't find anyone who has had such an experience, then write about something you have seen on the news or read in your local newspaper. Such stories are all around us, fires, flood, tornado's or even someone who has been reunited with a long lost relative. These events happen to the people in our lives every day.

The personality post.

This type of post is a sort of profile, or interview. OK, so you are not going to get the chance to interview Brad Pitt, but there are thousands of UN known people who are unique, and would be interesting to readers. People are interested in people, what they are like, what they have to say, and what they are doing with their lives. A really great way do to this type of post and get your blog noticed, is to find some one who writes a blog you enjoy, and ask if you can do a profile of them on your blog. Chances are they will then write about your post on their blog,n attracting their readers instantly. Ask them what tips or advice they have to offer ( especially good if you do have a niche blog.) What they have learnt in the time they have been blogging, etc.

The opinion post.

Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Especially good if you have a strong opinion on a controversial subject. You will evoke just as strong a reaction from your reader, and they will comment on your blog, starting a discussion, which in turn will get people coming back to your blog time, and time again.

The how-to post.

Again, great if you do have a niche blog, but great to add variety to your blog. Share your knowledge on what you want to talk about, tips you have picked up, even cooking recipes you have found particularly good. Base your articles on your personal experiences and what you have to offer from your own life. You don't have to be an expert ( I am certainly not ) you just have to tell people what you have found to work for you.

Trying out each of these different methods, can only serve to enrich your blogs content, and offer more variety for your readers, even if they only return to your blog to see what you are going to write about next, it can't be bad can it?

The top 15 most annoying male habits EVER!

2010-09-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

1. Their idea of childcare is to stick the kids in front of finding Nemo.

2. They always have to have the last word in an argument, and refuse to acknowledge that "Just because" is not a reasonable or valid point.

3. They always manage to drop their dirty socks next to the laundry basket, instead of in it.

4. They leave tiny hairs all round the sink after shaving.

5. They think we don't know about their secret porn stash.

6. They complain we spend money on celebrity magazines and then nick them before we get a chance to read them. ps. just for fun, tease them about reading girls mags and watch the big vein in his temple throb.

7. They crumple the pages of said magazines.

8. They pout like little boys when they can't have sex.

9. When nagged into doing the hoovering, they always manage to make it look worse than before they started. What do they do, empty the hoover bag on the floor?

10. They then sit around looking smug because they know you won't ask them to hoover again for another month.

11. They only ever have money for a takeaway if it's their turn to cook.

12. To them walking the dog means tying it up outside the bookies for an hour.

13. They think you having a twenty minute bath counts as 'me time'.

14. They try and pass x box games off as great gifts, claiming "as we always complain they spend so much time on it they thought they could buy us one we can play together." How considerate!

15. He- oops, i mean THEY use our pretty candle holders as ashtrays if they can't find one nearby.

Ladies i'm sure you can think of many more, so please send them to me. And as my wonderful 5 blog followers are mostly men ( ok so one of them is my husband- hi honey!) I bet you can think of just as many for us. So, email me at meami_5@live.com with your lists for women, and i would LOVE to post them on my blog.

Going ape!

2010-09-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

Friday night, the kids were in bed, and the big brother final was on. When almighty hell broke loose outside. Some idiot was screaming and shouting at the top of his lungs. This went on for about twenty minutes, when i finally lost my rag. I stormed outside to be greeted by one very drunk man, pacing up and down the street, yelling " SADIE, SADIE, COME HERE GIRL."

" Excuse me, but my children are in bed trying to sleep, do you mind keeping your voice down?"

I asked politely, with murder in my eyes.

" I've lost my dog."

The drunken man whined.

" Alright, but you've been shouting for twenty minutes, she obviously isn't here, can you just keep it down? My kids are sleeping."

In reply to which i received a torrent of abuse. Now, i have to admit when it comes to drunks, i am definitely not the most tolerant of people, so at this point i completely lost my rag, and became what i can only describe as "hopping mad." I definitely even hopped a little. Rant over, i stormed back inside, to find my husband rolling on the floor laughing.

" What the hell is so funny?"

I pouted. Giving him the glare. ( the "watch it, or no sex for a month" type glare.) So, he finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me;

" You looked so fierce, and hard out there, giving this big bloke what for, with your bright blue dressing gown, covered in cute little monkeys."

I looked down, and sure enough i was wearing the dressing gown my seven year old daughter picked out for me last Christmas, grinning monkeys covering every inch. The whole damn street has now witnessed my bad ass attitude, while sporting the un-sexiest nightwear known to man...or monkey, for that matter! Hmmm.... maybe Ben can do the school run for a while.

My writing projects have been going well this week. I wrote a short story called "Taking Liberty" ( it's in my blog, so if you want to take a peek, and tell me what you think, you can find the link in my archives and links tab, at the top of this page.) I submitted the story to a writing review site, and the response has been amazing! One of the reviews said:

" I would not be surprised to find this in a book of short story's i just paid good money for. Excellent twist, and commercial quality."

I'm thrilled! I also wrote a guest post for a great site called piggybankpie. It's a great site for bloggers. The article is called "Ways to overcome writers block" . There are some great tips in there, and something for everyone, so check it out at piggybankpie

You have got to be kidding me??

2010-09-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

Late last night i received an email, nothing shocking there. It appeared to be from a Mr. Nom Cho, although when i looked closer the true location of the email was from some one called Michelle. Mr Nom Cho stated that he works for a bank in japan, one of his wealthy clients died leaving 24 million unclaimed, just sitting in a bank account. This client has no next of kin, and he was in desperate need of some one to claim to be this clients relative. If i did this i would receive 30% of the 24mil!!

Can you believe it!! Gob smacked i am, totally gobsmacked. It has to be the oldest trick in the book. So i sent him/her this email in reply.

OK, just kidding! Here's what i sent to him/her:
Sir,
I have just three questions for you.
1. If you are who you say you are, why did your email address come up under a different name?
2. I suppose you are going to ask me for my bank details next?
3. Not really a question, but still.. If you are going to try and scam people why use the oldest Internet scam around, you haven't even varied it, just used word for word, the oldest trick in the book!

Emma Johnson.

So, tutting away, i forgot about it, and then the cheeky ba*$!*d emailed me this message:

Dear Friend,

i must let you understand that the name you saw in my first mail was dull to a computer error that is why i as that you should send me mail with my other e mail address, i know you we think that i am trying to act funny but the fat is that i must do things that know one we know about in my country and my bank may know that i am the one that contact you so you shoud try to understand why i did that.

so i we advice you to get back to me so that we move on, i am not going to ask yu to send me your account information all i need from you is for you to help me stand as the next of kin so that both of us an move this funds down to your country.

You should not have anything to worry about, I will do everything lawfully required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking, and you have my word and I agree to your 30% fare deal. There is no risk involve all I want is your cooperation to make the transfer a success, the transfer will be done legally An attorney In the name of Mr. Woo Cheng a Korean Citizen will prepare the necessary Affidavits, which shall put you in place as next of kin; he will obtain the necessary clearances from the Hong Kong authorities that will cover all the aspects involved in this transaction. This attorney shall handle all matters of probate on your behalf, he will have all the documents perfected, and with these documents he shall come forward to my bank to apply for the immediate release and transfer of the funds to the account you shall open on your behalf, hence your presence may not be required here in Hong Kong Unless you so desire. I have been a banker for many years and I know perfectly how the system works. Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that, it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If you work seriously, the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days.

READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME:

Firstly, how old you are, you should note that this project is highly capital intensive, this is why I have to be very careful, I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before though I will be coming to your country after the successful transfer of these funds out of my bank for the final sharing, but still I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project.

I am now in contact with a foreign offshore online bank in the United Kingdom; I will intend that you open an account in your name in this foreign bank hence we will not be making use of your personal Bank account. The money would be transferred to your account which you will open in the foreign bank for both of us in your name, this is the best way, I have found; it will protect us from my bank. I want us to enjoy this money in peace when we conclude. So you should listen to my instructions and follow them religiously. Also you have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name, as my bank will be aware that it is from me, this is where I NEED YOU.

As result of this, you will have to open an account in the corresponding bank. I will obtain a certificate of deposit from my bank, it will be issued in your name, and this will make you the real owner of the funds. After this, the money will be banked online for both of us. We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts though at this time I would have come over to your country to meet with you. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the transaction the legal right.

Before I commence, I will need you to send me a copy of any form your identification (Driver's license, Work ID or International passport). I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. As soon as I get these from you, I will commence the paper work with the assistance of my attorney. I hope you will understand why I need all these, the money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project, I will also send you my Identities and family album upon receipt of your identification. I will send the name and contact details of the United Kingdom Bank to you as soon as I have confirm that we could make use of it because I have to be sure that it is an affiliate of my bank that can protect the funds before you can commence communication with them.

Once again please ensure that you keep this project CONFIDENTIAL, do not discuss it with anybody, because of the confidential nature of this transaction and my work. Please reply soonest with the required Identification

Can you believe it? Oh, so that's a relief, you don't want my bank details you just need my passport!! Well sure...go ahead...you want one of my kidneys with that!!! OH PLEASE!!

This jerk really does not give up. Got me wondering though, i mean i bet they would be able to sell my passport for thousands right? The sad thing is, people actually fall for these scams, people HAVE fallen for these scams! Hmmm how embarrassing. So beware people, these losers are out there, and to the con artists writing these crappy emails...LEARN TO FREAKING SPELL!!!!