Out of Love

Equal Rights for All Progresses Mankind Spiritually

2012-10-20T16:54:00.001-07:00

There has been a lot of talk recently about equal rights. The rhetoric, discussions, politics and all over the Internet and the television is reminiscent of the rise of Hitler and the state of Germany before WWII. Why do I say this?
People are angry. It is palpable when one is out and about in America today. Many people have lost their home or job or both. Life has been difficult. People know that they can't afford to put food on the table or do a lot of the things they enjoy in life. Their basic needs are barely being met. This was true in Germany as Hitler rose to power. In America, just like in Germany at that time, people need someone to blame. For some people the President is their target. For many people Liberals are their target. For some, Gay Equality and Women's/Reproduction and Abortion Rights are their targets. People are fearful due to the life situations they find themselves in. The conservatives take this fear, and do a good job of scaring people further into thinking it is a Christian issue, and a "judgement from God issue" who you choose to vote for. They are taking the issue of Gay and Lesbian Equality and Women's Rights as well as Abortion and Reproductive Rights, to scare people and separate them further. They do this by using their interpretation of God and the Bible to bolster their opinions. As they separate people on these issues, and scare them, the real issues disappear into the background.

The questions and thoughts that come in my mind are the following:

1. If God is Love, and God loves us unconditionally, isn't it illogical that God would then punish us for something that we do? This includes having a gay sexual orientation, having an abortion, or using birth control. God loves us. Period.

2. The economy was on the verge of complete collapse when Obama took office. Why doesn't the Republican party seem to take responsibility for this? It seems to me that if this was in the forefront, rather than gay equality, gay marriage, women's rights and reproductive rights...we would see very different stories in the news.

3. Fear. Do people realize that fear is inversely proportional to love? The more fear that we allow into our minds, the less love we can let in. People who are fearful of the world today, and of allowing equal rights for all are surely not filled with love. If God is love, then they are also not filled with God's light.

We cannot allow the media and the conservative right to manipulate us any longer with fear. Last time I checked, there is a separation of church and state in this country. If you look at the discussions of the conservatives, they are not honoring this separation. And they are utilizing "the fear of God", a very old concept in an old book called the bible which was written by men to control the masses. We must step away from this if we are to move forward spiritually and away from our primitive roots. Otherwise we are moving the backward, truly in the direction of dictators like Adolph Hitler. We are blaming sections of society for our problems instead of looking at the real issues.

We must instead join together in peace, kindness and tolerance. Every human being is loved by God unconditionally. We need not fear God. If there is any fear that is legitimate, I feel it is of those who hate and have prejudices against segments of our society for who they love or what they do. Even then fear will not change anything. Action, and making sure the laws of the land support all people equally...Straight, Gay, Women, Men, people of all religions, races and creeds. If we can do that, and strive to join with each other and understand one another, mankind will move forward.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Finding Your Own Happiness

2012-08-15T17:18:00.001-07:00

 
Life can be so difficult. When I think of all the stressors  present,

it can be overwhelming.  The truth is,

one can always find something to stress about.

The more I thought about that, the more I realized one can also always

find  something to be happy about. 
No one can do it for you, you have to want happiness. We choose our own

bliss, and if we spend some time each

day focusing on that instead of pain and heartache we find before long

that happiness will ensue. 
Take some time each day to think some happy thoughts   Whether affirmations,

like 'I choose happiness' or

'I live in love', or simply counting our blessings...we change our mindset to the

 happy, joyous side. 
We can find happiness even in the midst of chaos. And further, if our life isn't

 what we want it to be,

we can change it.  Even if you have been a victim in life,that time has passed and you are no longer

 a victim. You are in control

of your life. So put yourself in the drivers seat and choose happiness. It

will be one if the best choices

you ever make 
Out of Love, 
Bryhn 
xo

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Transition From Life to Death

2012-08-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

Death is just a part of life, a transition to another plane. Many religions have different ideas that they teach their followers about death. I have my own theories, arrived at through spiritual mentors, meditation, and my own communication and personal relationship with Spirit, or God.
It is my belief that everyone goes to Heaven. When we cross over from the Earth plane to Heaven, we will see what we thought we would see. God doesn't want to worry or stress us at that point, so if you have thought all your life that you would see your dead relatives, you will see them. If you thought you would see Jesus, or Buddah, that's who you'll see. After a while, that begins to fade, and you are truly just a soul, a ball of light with your soul essences inside love, compassion, sensitivity, and understanding. These essences are whatever size they were when you crossed over. You are surrounded by pure unconditional love. There is no concept of time really, but you will stay in Spirit as long as it takes to work out your omissions, or things that you "did wrong". Your soul will be with other souls vibrating at the same frequency.
When you are ready, you will decide to come for another Earthly life, and what you want to accomplish, how long it will take, and how you will do it. In essence, you will decide your path along with a group of your peers, with God, or Spirit oversight. Then, when ready, you will return to someone's womb randomly as a new life. Whatever you are dealt in that life will help or hinder you to learn your lessons and reach your goals. Abuse and pain at the end of the day can strengthen your soul essences if you work through it. A so called "perfect'" life may not provide the lessons you need. It's really all up to you in the end whether you choose to grow your soul or not.

Many people have different beliefs about death, but this is the one that has resonated most with me. I have been thinking about it a lot lately due to some recent deaths in my world. I feel comforted to know that my loved ones are surrounded by unconditional love and near their higher power for as long as they need. I know it's hard for them to see their omissions in that state because they feel so loved, but I would rather that than anything else. Depending on how they spent their last Earthly life, it may take them a long time to work things out. It doesn't really matter though, as I said, time is irrelevant.
Many blessings to all who are going through the loss of loved ones. It is never easy, even if the person was very sick. But we all have a path, and sometimes it is our time to go on. We must trust our God and the Universe on these things.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo
If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Finding Your Own Power

2012-07-30T18:05:00.002-07:00

When one has suffered in life, one often doesn't have the confidence to show their own power. In fact, we often deny how powerful we really are. When the going gets tough, we fade into the background and watch instead of showing our strength.There are many reasons for this behavior, but mostly it comes down to fear. And since fear is inversely proportional to love, the more fear we have the less we act out of love for ourselves and others, and accept love into our lives. Many people who have suffered in life, or not lived what one might call a "standard" life(if there is such a thing) have a higher level of understanding and are quite powerful if they allow themselves to be. Sometimes the fear of showing their own power is so strong that they appear meek and powerless. So how does one reduce the fear, allow the love in and in turn allow their power to shine? Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. One doesn't know if they can do it, but they do it any way. They "fake it 'til they make it" and find their faith in a higher power to carry them until they can fully do it themselves. Additionally, surrounding yourself with positive people who live in love is also a plus when one is trying to do this. Negativity is catchy, but so is positivity. The more positive you are, the better you feel, the more you attract positive people, and the negative ones seem to disappear and fall away. Then you will allow your strength to show due to improved confidence, positive thinking and reinforcement from those around you. As one develops, one is no longer leaping into faith, but instead one knows their strength and capabilities, and feels powerful. Here is the bottom line. There is no need to make yourself small and powerless. Take that leap to start with and see just how powerful you really are. And, then give yourself kudos for actually doing it. If you have been abused, you were knocked down and that is a horrible thing that was not your fault. But, you don't have to stay that way. Your life becomes your choice once you break the barriers and live in love, light and your own power. Out of Love, Bryhn xo
If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Perception

2012-07-27T20:48:00.001-07:00

Our perceptions of what is said and of situations are often clouded by previous experiences, intelligence levels, understanding, how much we focus and listen to what is said in a situation, and how sensitive we are to body language or what isn't said. When something happens between people, all of the above mentioned is swirling around the interaction. We are not aware of what the other person is really perceiving vs what we are perceiving. This is why good communication between people is so important. If one has been abused, certain situations also may trigger very negative past experiences. One may say something to their spouse, friend or sibling that they feel is innocent, and that person may react very poorly. This leaves the person who made the statement puzzled and confused. Or they just think their friend is crazy, when really it is their past getting in the way of the perception of the present situation.
It is vitally important to consider when there is a problem in communication between people that the problem simply could be in each individuals perception of the situation. It's a good idea to state your feelings, ideas and intentions clearly. If you are on the receiving end of something that hurts or bothers you it's a good idea to repeat back to the person what you heard, for clarification. If this doesn't help, you may sit when alone next and write down what was said, and then think about what bothered you about it. Make notes and write down everything that comes to your mind. If you have a trusted friend, talk with them about your findings. Chances are it was a trigger or misunderstanding. Of course there are those times when someone is just purposely hurtful. I say if someone is like that on a regular basis, maybe it's time to assess what purpose they serve in your life. Check in and see if that relationship is healthy for you. Surrounding yourself with positive kind people is part of taking care of yourself. When it comes down to it, perception is everything. Awareness of your perceptions and where they come from can only help with your growth.
Out of Love, Bryhn xo

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Acknowledging your Accomplishments

2012-07-23T11:50:00.001-07:00

Many of us strive for perfection. In our fast paced society, we also feel that we should accomplish large amounts of activity every day. We focus on the things that we don't accomplish, and dismiss the things that we do that really are accomplishments.

I know this firsthand, and attribute it partly to personality, and partly to the perfectionism that can develop when one has been abused. I have to remind myself that accomplishments, even small ones are still accomplishments. Today for instance, I was not feeling quite up to par, and I have a lot to do. I completed two important phone calls, filled out a form that I need to mail, and worked on this blog. A little while later, I said to my wife, "I'm so tired. I didn't get anything accomplished today." She reminded me of the things that I had done. Wow, I thought to myself. I did do something, why did I dismiss it as nothing?

We are conditioned to believe that unless we have moved mountains, we haven't done anything. Learning to count even the small things takes some work. So, in thinking about this for myself, I came up with the following:

1. As you complete tasks during the day, keep a list of them. When you finish something, write it down. Do this for every thing that you finish in the day.

2. At the end of the day, especially if you are feeling that you didn't do anything, look at your list.

3. Do this several days in a row until your mind is re-trained to look at things differently.

4. Don't be hard on yourself. Some days are good for just getting some rest and not doing anything at all. If you have a day like that, don't feel negative about it. Congratulate yourself for taking care of "you".

Perfectionism, and expecting a lot from yourself causes stress and anxiety. Take to heart the idea that Spirit sees you as perfect exactly the way you are. You are a unique creation, filled with light. Only "you" can choose to change your thinking. I am working on it, and I know that it will make a big difference in my own stress levels for the better. Please join me.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Praying and Meditation

2012-07-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of praying and meditation lately, and seeing wonderful positive results. I thought I would write about it as a reminder to everyone that absolutely anyone can pray and meditate and ask for what they need. It doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are, or if you consider yourself an atheist. Spirit, God, Buddha, Mohamed, Abraham, Jesus, Goddess- it's all the same. And, their positive loving energy is available to you and all of us. You are loved unconditionally. You don't have to do anything to receive this love, you don't even have to believe in it, it is there for you. If you need help with something though, you do have to ask for help. That is because we were given freewill, and can use it however we like. God hopes we use it for our own good, but she cannot interfere if we don't. She cannot interfere at all unless asked.

In times of personal strife and heartache, we often forget to pray and reach out for this unconditional loving energy and ask for that help. I have seen it in my own life. Things start to go wrong and I get triggered by something that brings my old patterns of behavior and abuse to the forefront. Then I am anxious and forget to reach out. I have to step back and remind myself or have someone who loves me remind me. So I finally reminded myself, and got some reminders from friends and my wife. And, I have seen the effects of reaching out. Even though I have seen the effects many times in my life, I am always amazed and humbled.

Just this morning, I was lying in the tub, praying for assistance as I need to see a doctor and have been having trouble getting into the one I really need to see. Within 5 minutes,my phone rang. It was that doctors office. The secretary said, "Bryhn, I just got a cancellation and the doctor can see you next Friday. Can you do that?" I paused for a minute dumfounded. "Hello, are you there," she said. "Yes, I am." I replied. "Yes, I will definitely take the appointment.".

Now it doesn't always work that quickly. Spirit works in her own time, and in her own way. We have to have faith that when we ask for help, it will all work out in our best interest and it may not be in the time frame or the way we would like. Faith is so important in this.

I remember, initially when I started on my spiritual path not being sure about my faith. My spiritual healer suggested I start with blind faith. I didn't know for sure that God would help me or even know what I believed. So that is why it was blind faith. Fake it til you make it kind situation. So, for me the suggestion was a good one. In time, as I grew spiritually and overcame a lot of my issues from my abuse my spiritual gifts were emerging and everything became clearer. My faith changed from blind faith to the faith of knowing, a true faith that is beautiful and clear. The more I prayed and meditated and worked on my issues, the more the clarity increased.

I hope you will take some time for meditation and/or prayer in your own lives in whatever way works for you. You will see the benefits, and feel more positive.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Independence and Self Reliance

2012-07-06T19:46:00.001-07:00

Blessings to everyone, and I hope you had a great July 4th, or Independence day. I like to call it Independence day, with a capital I. I do this because it is a reminder that we are all capable of Independence and self reliance. No matter where your life has taken you, no matter how much help you must ask for to keep yourself fed, clothed and having shelter; you are still Independent. You are taking care of yourself and getting what you need, even when you ask for help. Sometimes, we all need some help from someone else to receive what we need. This doesn't mean that we are not Independent. It may mean that life's circumstances have brought us to a point where we must obtain some help. Being able to ask for help is a sign of maturity, being a survivor, and getting what we need at all costs. Of course the ultimate goal is self reliance. Sometimes life brings us to a point of not being able to display self reliance for a period of time. This doesn't mean that we won't get there again. Trust in yourself and others to help you when you need it, and then you can be there for the next person when they need it. It's a pay it forward situation. So, celebrate your Independence, and when you're ready to move to a self reliant mode, do so. It strengthens your spirit and your resolve to meet your life's goals and to grow in the light. Out of Love, Bryhn xo
If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

2012-07-04T16:53:00.001-07:00

Faith: Revisited

Sometimes, when it seems all is lost, and as if things are hopeless, we forget about our faith. When this happens, we don't realize what is available to us. The very thing that will open our minds and hearts in those moments actually is faith. Faith in ourselves, faith in others, and faith in our higher power.

The very idea that all is lost, feeling those feelings and thinking in that way…brings it to ourselves and we don't even realize it. In the beginning we can put our power into what we want, and accept the situation. Then, when we start to do something about it and believe in our wellbeing, everything starts to change. People will be drawn to help us, and our faith in human nature can expand, if we allow it. When we ask Spirit to help us, we get more of what we need. Our faith in our higher power builds. As this all occurs, our faith in ourselves will build too, because we have let other people into our lives and seen positive results.

Things don't always happen in our time frame. Sometimes, we have to wait for these positive things to happen. That in itself, requires faith. Praying and meditating will help bring positive energy and action. Things may not always happen as quickly as we would like or when we would like, but we must be patient.

I can assure you though, with faith, anything is possible. I have seen it first hand in my own life. As soon as I start going down that negative trail of feeling hopeless, what I get, is exactly what I put out. Old negative patterns of behavior show up, and I push people away. On the other hand, when I remember my faith, reach out to other positive people who love me, meditate, and pray, I see that the opposite result starts to occur. Give it a try, with no time frame set. Before you know it, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo
If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Reducing Fear to Unblock Love, Understanding, Power, and Abundance

2012-07-02T11:17:00.002-07:00

Fear, is a four letter word. This four letter word, can block everything and make our lives miserable, painful and anxiety ridden. It can take away our sense of logic and reason and ability to help ourselves in difficult situations. I know this first hand, as I have been known to let fear interfere with what is best for me due to my abuse background and old patterns of behavior creeping in under stress. I know that fear doesn't help anything, and in fact can block all the positive thoughts and positive attributes that I have. It can also manifest what I don't want, because I am focusing on that. So what do I do to stop it?

1. Meditate. Open up myself to the Universe, Spirit, God, whatever you call your higher power. Hand over the fear. I actually say out loud, "God, please take this fear from me, it isn't helping me. I want to find my strength, power and understanding. Please help me". I repeat this several times until I start to feel different. I can't explain it well, that feeling I get of handing it over. It's like a weight lifts off of me. Now, I may have to do this several days in a row. Fear can be very pervasive, unrelenting. Don't be discouraged if you have to do it several times a day for several days. You are doing a positive thing for yourself, unlocking, and unblocking this fear.

2. Now make a list of everything you need and want for your life. Whatever situation you have been fearful about, list also what you want the outcome to be. It may take you a coupe of days to make the complete list. This is okay. There is no time limit.

3. Begin meditating on your list of the positive things you want in your life, and the positive outcomes. You may want to organize your list in order of importance, and start by meditating on the first 3 top important things. Place a list of these three things on your refrigerator, in your purse, on your bathroom mirror, on your computer. If fear comes into your mind, look at your list and repeat the words out loud about what you want. You are manifesting what you want now, instead of what you don't want. When you've finished the top 3, go on to the next 3 and so on until you finish the list, until you have spent time meditating on the whole list.

4. If the fear starts to creep back up, go back to step one and repeat it until you are back at a place where the fear is released.

5. Now make a list of the things you have to do to reach what you want in your life. You may need help from a trusted friend or a counselor to help you with this list. Sometimes we know what we want, but it is hard to figure out how to get there.

6. Once your list is complete, promise yourself you will go through each thing and as you complete each item cross it off the list so you can see your progress. If you have a procrastinating nature, you may want to place time frames on the items on your list to help you to keep moving forward. We can only move forward in life, there is no sense looking back unless it is only to learn lessons to help you move forward.

As you reduce the fear and work on manifesting what you need and then creating it, eventually the fear will completely disappear. You will have overcome it by your own growth and action. I wish you the best of everything with this journey from fear to love, understanding, power and abundance. I know it isn't easy, but you can do it. Believe in yourself!

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Reviving Your Strength

2012-06-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

When life is tough, and it seems like things happen one after another it wears on our strength and spirit and can bring up negativity, and overall weakness. We forget to take care of ourselves properly, and our strength becomes depleted more and more every day. So how do we revive ourselves and carry on?

Firstly, admitting your on empty is important. When things have been rough, and you simply have had enough, recognizing this state is the first step. Then, take an assessment of yourself.

1. Have you been drinking enough water?

2. Have you been eating healthy food?

3. Have you been getting enough sleep?

4. Have you been taking your medication properly?

5. When was the last time you did something for yourself, something you enjoy? When was the last time you laughed?

6. If you are a spiritual person, have you reached out for God and asked for help and healing if you need it?

As you answer these questions, keep some notes and look it over. You will be able to tell what areas you need to start working on. Give yourself some time to work on each area, but start today. You are important and if you don't take care of yourself, who will? If you can, take out a calendar and make notes for each day. Write on it what you are going to do, and when each day is done, make a check mark next to the things you accomplished for yourself. Write things on it like drink 4 glasses of water, eat at least one healthy meal, sleep 8 hours, watch or read something funny. It may seem simple, but when life is rough, many of us skip these so called simple things, which are the very things that will help us to keep up our strength.
In a week or two you will not be on empty any more, but you will start to feel your strength return. Just eating and sleeping properly for several days in a row can change your whole outlook on life and make you ready to attack your issues that need addressing with new strength and vigor.
You must realize that YOU are the most important person to YOU. If isn't selfish to put yourself first. That's why for instance on an airplane they say put your Oxygen mask on first and then help others in the event of an emergency. Because unless you take care of yourself, it is impossible to help others without depleting yourself completely.
Only you can really see to it that you are in good health, and know when you are ready to take on the world. Love yourself, take care of yourself and remember your higher power loves you unconditionally. When you do these things for yourself and remember this, you can take on anything.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Emotions vs Logic

2012-06-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

If you are an emotional person, you know how hard it is to find your logical self in the midst of emotional situations. I wrote recently about the double edged sword of sensitivity, but this writing is a little different as it focuses more on how to put some logic in your mind and find your logical self to increase your happiness and growth.
So, if you are an emotional person, the emotional side of you may feel hurt, when people say or do hurtful things, and when you are weathering life's trials and tribulations.

Learning to add a dose of logic is just what is needed to help you to see things clearly, make good decisions for yourself and not feel hurt. It isn't easy, especially for those of us who are sensitive and live in our hearts. We almost squash that logical side even when we are aware that it is the logic that will get us through and help us find solutions rather than wallowing in our pain.
It is also quite common for the emotional sensitive to feel hurt by what others say and do very easily. So how do we learn to change it around, and put our logical foot forward?
I am a sensitive, and so I know first hand that it isn't an easy transition, but it can be done. So what are some steps that I take?

1. Firstly, I remind myself when someone says something that hurts me, especially if it is about me or my wife or children, that those are their feelings and thoughts. They don't represent THE truth, but THEIR truth. That person has their set of experiences which bring them to some conclusion which may or may not be what the truth really is. I repeat this to myself over and over. I tell myself "those are their feelings, and they are entitled to them. I don't agree". This takes the edge off of the pain to start with.

2. Then, I stop any crying and painful acts, as they only hurt me. It doesn't hurt anyone but yourself to cry and feel bad. I remind myself that I am beautiful, wise, kind and caring, and deserve the best of everything. Even when I didn't believe that was true(due to my sexual abuse), saying the words, repeating them, calmed me. This calming, helps to bring you to the point of logic.

3. For me, meditation then works well. If I am not in a place I can just sit and meditate like at work or at a party, I go to the bathroom and start my meditation. I ask my higher power to help me through this situation. I ask my higher power to help me to see things clearly and logically. As I have said many times, if you believe in God (and it isn't required), you must ask for help when you need it. So, once I do this, it doesn't take very long, and it changes the whole feeling inside of me. If I am in a place that I can meditate, like at home, I sit quietly and visualize myself as whole and competent, and capable. Though I am a caring sensitive, I can look at things logically. I visualize myself that way, capable and logical.

4. If it is a decision I have to make, I then make a list of possible solutions. Thinking about solutions rather than the problem, brings me to the logical point even further. I may call a trusted friend or family member to help me brainstorm for solutions. My friends also give me a good dose of humor, which I find helps me to really switch off that emotional pain that is not needed or helpful in the situation at hand. Then, I choose one or two of the solutions to pursue, and start to implement them. Taking action, if that is what is needed, makes me feel even more capable and whole. It reminds me of my power as an individual.

5. If it was just something someone said that hurt me, after the meditation under step 3, I am usually finished with that and can let it go. If I can't, I write them a letter with all my feelings and why it hurt me. I then burn it, watching it go to ash. I am done with that comment. It means nothing to me now. I have let it go.

The more logical one can allow themselves to become the less pain they will experience in life especially from what others say and do. If you are a sensitive, it is a gift that can be used to help yourself and others when you have it under control. But, don't use it to hurt yourself. Remember, we are here to be happy and grow, and living in the light with a good dose of logic will only help you to do that.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

If you like this, please take a look at my book Out of Love on Amazon Kindle. Thank you!

Creating an Environment of Peace

2012-06-26T17:06:00.001-07:00

Most of us want peace in our lives, and yet we seem to flow in to chaos without even thinking it through clearly. The best way that I know to create an environment of peace contains three things:

1. Surround yourself with people who love and understand you. We all have friends and family who seem to love and understand us, but then fill us with expectations and fears. It is important to look honestly at those who we surround ourselves with. The more honest and positive one is, the more likely the negative people who have unreasonable expectations or who don't understand us will slip out of our lives. The, the positive, caring, loving ones,who want to be there for us, will stay. Those who create a loving environment increase the peace in our environment.

2. Eliminate unnecessary items and decrease the clutter in our immediate environment. Lots of things we don't need, disorganization, and unnecessary expenses can create chaos. So, taking some time to de-clutter, will improve the peace in our environment.

3. Take some time for yourself every day, even if it is only 15-20 minutes. Doing something for yourself and checking in with yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually is very useful. One can sit quietly and meditate, check in to see if one is eating properly, or simply take care of any necessary tasks for oneself and one's health. As you do this daily, you will see that your sense of calm and peace increases. It improves the sense of peace you will feel within, in your internal environment.

There are many more ways to create an environment of peace, however, these three items are a basic beginning, and take time to implement. I think in a later blog, I will address some more elements to creating a peaceful environment. Those of you who want to start with these, and then continue with this journey later will find it useful. Blessings are sent to all who are trying to create an environment of peace. As you do this, like a ripple in a pond it moves outward into our greater environment.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

How Receiving Unconditional Love in A Relationship Changed my LIfe

2012-06-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

I know I have written about unconditional love before, especially in reference to God and myself. I have not written about how receiving unconditional love on the Earth plane really changed me for the better.

Because of my abuse, I really didn't believe that people loved me in a relationship. In my heart, I felt love for them, but I felt that their love for me was the kind that consisted of, "I love you....now change". So when I got married for the second time a couple of years ago, and the person said she loved me, I felt she did, but I figured over time she would expect me to change many things about myself. I didn't know that she meant she loved me unconditionally. I loved her unconditionally. Sure, I could see her faults and negatives of character. We all have them. Everyone has baggage to one degree or another. When choosing a mate, we just have to decide if it's the kind of baggage we can live with.

Over the last two years, we have gone through many challenges and tests of this love. She has seen the good, the bad and the ugly in me, and I in her. But we still love each other unconditionally and come back to that place of love, kindness, and forgiveness.

How has this changed my life? It is freeing firstly. I can always be myself and I don't have to worry. that it will change her feelings for me. Secondly, it has boosted my confidence to complete things I wanted to complete many years ago, and to try new things. Thirdly, while I know my kids and dogs love me unconditionally and that is very special, having a wife who also does adds to my sense of family. Finally, feeling loved unconditionally by my wife drives me even harder to want to grow my soul and my character and be the best person I can be. Even though she loves me the way I am, I want to do the best I can by her.

I have been fortunate in this life too, to have friends who love me unconditionally. I feel like they are really family, especially since my parents and brother are dead. I wanted to mention them here even though it is a little off topic...because they are so special to me.

When choosing a mate for a relationship, make sure that person really loves YOU, and isn't asking you to change a number of things to be with them. Sure, we all have to be flexible when sharing living space, and a life together to make it work. But, I am talking about you as a person. If they are saying I love you, now change this about yourself...it isn't really unconditional love. You deserve to live a life as yourself proudly and with respect and caring, just as you are. If you want to work on yourself and make positive changes in yourself, it is your decision. If you decide to do that, it sure is nice to have someone loving you unconditionally through it.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Celebrate Your Individuality

2012-06-24T15:52:00.001-07:00

I was thinking today about the various people that I know, some close to me, some not, and how I love each and every one of them for their individuality.

I know that our society expects us to conform, to be like everyone else. I also know that we are herd animals, and especially when we are growing up we really want to be a part of the herd. It's hard when we are different, when we don't quite fit in. When we are young, kids can be so mean to what I am going to call "outsiders". The one's, like me, who don't really fit in.

As we grow up, we still may feel like being an outsider isn't a good thing. It may be hard to find people for close friendships, or for lovers. People may use negative words to describe us, like weirdos or freaks. But, the truth is we are all individuals and our individuality should be celebrated!

Being an outsider, often means that one is highly intelligent, sees the world as it really is and wants to make positive changes in it, has talents that many people don't have, and/or may not fit in the "norm" definition of beauty. They usually think outside the box, and have ideas that are magnificent.

Every person, in fact is completely different from the next even if they are trying their hardest to fit in to the herd. We each have a different set of genetics, personality, intelligence, likes and dislikes- just to name a few things. So even if it seems like a clique of people are so much alike, the truth is each one is an individual.

I believe the more one celebrates their individuality and cultivates it, the more of a positive contribution they can make to this planet of ours. They also can find their path in life more easily when they are behaving and celebrating themselves. So don't worry if you seem to not fit in. Yes, when one is young, it can make life more difficult. But it does get better. As one ages and grows into themselves if they allow themselves to, life is happier and more fulfilling.

Be yourself as much as possible. You are a beautiful individual with your own special purpose. If you believe in a higher power, I know that higher power loves you unconditionally and without strings, just as you are. I hope that you learn to love yourself that way too.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Everyone has the Right to Their Own Beliefs

2012-06-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been going through some difficult times. I work hard to stay positive, and for me God is a comfort and I feel God's light helps me through difficulties. I also ask for help from God when I need it, as I believe that one has to ask for the help they need. God gave us freewill and will not interfere with it unless we ask it to. To me God is unconditional loving energy, free to everyone, loving everyone. For me, organized religion is not helpful. I can pray anywhere and I don't have to follow others man made rules.

I do not expect everyone to believe as I do. In fact, I find it doubtful that everyone believes as I do. I don't understand then why people of various faiths find it necessary to put their beliefs onto me. Why is it that they feel that they must tell me if I don't follow the rules they follow I am going to a place they call Hell? I don't even believe in Hell.

I think that we do make our own Hell on Earth sometimes with the choices that we make. Especially if these choices are detrimental to our health and well being. But, truly, I believe we are all going to Heaven when we die to work out our problems until our next lifetime. We grow or recede our soul essences in each life, those essences being love, compassion, sensitivity and understanding. We then take them to the next life. In Heaven, I believe we are surrounded by God's unconditional love and it is difficult to see our transgressions from our last life due to this, so sometimes we spend a long time in Spirit, in Heaven doing this. Then when we are ready, we return to the next life. Again, I don't believe that everyone has to believe as I do. Each individual has the right to have their own set of beliefs.

Sometimes I think that others are trying to "save" other people by getting them to believe as they do or follow the rules they are following. So I am not saying that they have bad intentions. We must remember though, that we are all individuals. Pushing our beliefs on someone else can cause heartache, misunderstandings and pain for them. So, even with good intentions it may not be the kindly thing to do. For some people organized religion is a comfort. Many of the rules of organized religion are good rules to lives by. But this does not mean that everyone has to do as the next person, or that organized religion is for everyone.

I do think that by sharing our beliefs in the light of understanding with others, it can open their mind to different ideas. It may change someones mind about what they think as well, which is their choice. But it is not our job to make someone think a certain way. I believe God gave us all a mind to think with and a soul to grow. It is our choice how we use it and judgement from others is negative and not helpful.

So, I believe we feel happier and better in life, when we behave as ourselves and think for ourselves. If you aren't sure about your spiritual beliefs, do some reading and meditating. Keep a journal. There is no rule about what you have to do, but if it bothers you and you want to decide what you think, those are the suggestions I have. If you don't believe in a higher power, that is your choice and you are entitled to that. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Some people like to operate from trying to scare others into following one thing or another. Fear, can sure be powerful. But, I know that love is more powerful. The more love you let in, the less fear you will have and others who are trying to scare you into their beliefs have less of an effect.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject. I hope you are all having a beautiful day.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Getting Through Unexpected Problems

2012-06-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

We can't always prepare for problems, or control how our life is going to turn out. In fact, most of the time, we can't prepare at all except to learn to accept that life is going to throw us curve balls. Problems are going to arise that we didn't expect.

What we can control is how we react, and how we behave in the face of unexpected problems. The more logical we can remain, the easier it is to come to solutions and it takes less toll on us. It is very difficult to do. When unexpected problems come up, especially big problems, it is not uncommon to become very emotional.

I myself recently had a very big problem, and it was difficult for me to remain logical. First, I was in shock. Then I fell apart and had a melt down emotionally. After this, I was able to logically sort through the issues to make some decisions.

Having just been through this, I can say that when unexpected problems arise, the initial phase is not the time to make decisions unless it is absolutely necessary. Allow yourself to go through the emotional upheaval you need to, if you do need to. Once this has passed, (and it's good to give yourself just a small amount of time to do this especially if decisions need to be made), and you can be more logical and careful, start to make your decisions and do what needs to be done.

Learning not to react, learning to be as logical as possible, working through our emotional issues...these are all things that we can do generally for our own sanity, so that when problems arise we are emotionally prepared. Other than that, we must realize that life is a journey and an adventure, with ups and downs. Learning everything we can about ourselves and growing in the light and positivity, is always useful in any situation.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Faith

2012-06-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

I like to think of faith in 3 parts: Faith in oneself, faith in others, and faith in a higher power.
They are all intertwined, though if you don't believe in a higher power the other two are just as important.

When we have faith in ourselves, we believe in ourselves. We know what our strengths and challenges are and what our character is about. A good dose of honesty is important here, with just enough ego to be positive and strong. Not too much so that we aren't over inflating who we are and not too little so that we are underestimating ourselves.

Faith in others is important too, and just like faith in ourselves, we must be honest about how much faith to put in other people. People cannot live up to how much faith we put in them sometimes. And, really, when we do that we have let ourselves down by not looking at them honestly. That is not to say that we are always right. Sometimes the mask people wear, if we are unable to see beyond it, makes us believe that they are capable of more than they are. When deciding how much faith to put in someone, look at their behavior and character and be honest with yourself about it Then you will know how much faith you can place in what they say and do, and what to expect.

Faith in a higher power, I believe, can only help. When you have faith in God, or whatever you call it, it can lift you higher and help you to see things more clearly. Praying and meditation can give you answers like nothing else. And, when you are confident about what you believe and what you get from that meditation and prayer time, your faith strengthens.

So, the key to faith, like trust, is starting with yourself and then moving outward from there. Blessings to all today.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Staying Calm in the Face of Problems

2012-06-19T07:37:00.002-07:00

It can be very difficult to stay calm when there seems to be chaos all around us and we have problems. These problems could be not enough money, food, people bothering us or being mean to us, needing help and not knowing how to get it or any number of other things. So how do we stay calm in the face of these problems. Here are some things that I find helpful, and I hope you do too:

1. Meditation for total body relaxation. I find sitting quietly and closing my eyes, going through my body parts and asking them to relax to be very helpful. If you have some quiet music to put on in the background, then go ahead and do that. If you don't like music very much, or find it distracting, then sometimes just the quiet and focusing on you for 15 minutes can really help to clear your mind and relax your body. Your body will want to go into "fight or flight" and when it does, it will tighten up and just make things harder for you. So give it a try, and if you can't shut off your head, just keeping saying the word focus to yourself, or go to the next body part and focus on it. You say it in your head for instance, 'I'm focusing on my feet and my muscles in my feet are relaxing now'. Then move to your lower legs. Go through all the way up to the top of your head. If you need more help figuring out how to do this look up total body relaxation on line or send me a comment.

2. Write down each problem in a list with a line down the middle of the paper, Then on the other side of the line, write at least one solution for each one. If you can't think of one, it's okay, Leave those blank. If you have a trusted friend or family member show them the list and ask for solutions. Just doing this switches your mind from the problems to the solutions. Some problems, may not have a solution right now, and that is also okay. You are also getting the negative thinking of just problems, to 'what can I do about it' and this can be a big help.

3. If you believe in a higher power, whatever you call it, ask it for help, Directly ask for what you need. Be specific. I believe God can't interfere with our freewill, but if we ask for it, we will get it though not always in the form expected. This prayer, if you will, is also a positive step you can take for yourself.

4. If you are feeling anxious, take a walk. If you can't do physical activity much, just sit and move your arms and legs as much as you can to blow off some of the anxiety you are feeling. The activity is healthy and it helps you again to do something positive.

5. Look at your diet. Are you eating properly? If you don't have enough food, look around for free lunches at different churches or places where you live. Look for food pantries too. Don't let pride get in the way of common sense. You need to take care of yourself first, and having some nutrition can really help. Limit your salt and caffeine if you can, to keep yourself calm. You can also find much information online about nutrition to help you, If you have health insurance, most plans now also offer a nutritionist visit as part of their preventative health. So, you can also look into that.

There are many more things that you can do than I have listed here. The main thing is to do anything that is positive and calming for yourself. We all have problems, and unfortunately, even when we clear up the one's we have now...some more will appear at some point. Think back on other times that you had a problem and how eventually it was okay. Everything is temporary. Except for this: You are loved unconditionally, and I know that God, Spirit, Goddess, Buddha, Mohamed, Jesus...whatever you call it...loves you and wants you to take care of yourself and be well. I pray and hope that whatever problems you have are short lived and some of the items I listed help you.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

A Note of Thanks

2012-06-17T17:30:00.004-07:00

Today I am so grateful that so many people picked up my book and took advantage of it being free on Amazon. I hope that it helps each and every one of you in some way. I hope it shows you that no matter what happens in your life, you can find happiness and peace.

A long time ago, one of my spiritual mentors taught me a little affirmation or prayer, whatever you want to call it. This affirmation, reminds me who I really am, and what I am
capable of when I am feeling down or anxious, or like I can't do something. I repeat it to myself several times, and it always helps. So here it is, for all of you. I hope you find it useful:

"I am the kingdom, the power, and light, for God loves me and lives within me, his child of the light". You can change it to Goddess, Spirit, Buddha, Jesus...whatever works for you.

I'm sending blessings and love to everyone tonight. Happy fathers day to all who are fathers, and to the fatherly energy that exists in all of us.

Namaste,
Bryhn
xo

Don't forget my book is still free until 11:59 Pacific time. If you have a chance after you read it, please go back and write a review on Amazon. I know it is a lot to ask, and everyone is very busy, but if you have a moment please take the time to do this if you are able. It helps others to know if they would like to buy the book. Thank you.

Love & Kindness Transforms a Difficult Day into a Beautiful One

2012-06-16T21:23:00.001-07:00

Did you ever just have one of those days where everything goes wrong? I had one of them yesterday. Everything just seemed to go from bad to worse. The harder I tried to make things work out, the worse it got. I sat and prayed for God's help at one point, and then continued with my trials and tribulations. My beautiful wife was with me, thank goodness. Though things weren't going well, every time she looked me right in the eye, and smiled, my heart filled up. Then we stopped by to see an old friend, and this person gave me a huge hug. She also held my hand as we talked and I could feel the love from her.

When we left her, we were driving along, and we ran out of gas. I felt myself start to get upset. My wife jumped out of the car and immediately asked the woman in an SUV behind us if she would help, and gave her $20 to go and get us a gallon of gas. A man, jumped out of his car and pushed us out of the way of traffic without us even asking him. The woman returned, and gave us back our $20. "Don't worry about it, it's on me", she said. "You guys look like you've had a hard day". What a gesture of kindness and love from people who didn't even know us. I calmed right down.

So, my point is this. Even in our darkest moments, when we let love and kindness in, our light still shines. And, I do believe that the praying I did, helped. I believe that God answered my prayers. Even though things were still happening that weren't so good, we received help immediately, and love and kindness from everyone we ran across.

The love we receive feels so good especially in difficult moments, and helps us make it through. In life, attitude is everything, and love is always like a salve that makes everything better.

Out of love,
Bryhn
xo

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love My book will be free to everyone starting at 12 am standard pacific time to 11:59 pm standard pacific time on June 17th. Just follow the link above.

The Negative Self

2012-06-16T07:46:00.001-07:00

We all have a negative side to one degree or another. If you are a spiritual person, I am sure one of your goals is to reduce your negative self and increase the real you or your positive self. Some people call the negative self, the shadow self, or your chameleon. It's not the real you, but the part that grows out of fear, when you are giving in to your negative character traits or feel insecure..

This negative self was born in childhood. Usually, something happens that creates it. Something the child doesn't understand. It can be something small, an overheard conversation that scares the child because they don't understand or misunderstand it, or something large like abuse. Childhood sexual abuse, emotional, or physical abuse will most likely create a chameleon. This chameleon takes the brunt of the pain, so the child doesn't feel it as much. This is why often people do not remember what happened to them as the chameleon holds onto it all. Then, when in their 30's, 40's or 50's (those are windows of opportunity to grow and the mind is maturing), the memories start to come back and the fight to reduce this chameleon self begins. The very thing that protected them in childhood from the pain, then becomes a problem. This is because when you are more chameleon or negative self than the real you, you are highly negative. Keeping friendships, relationships, and even loving yourself becomes very difficult. If you are in a fearful or insecure life situation, it will just grow and grow. Sometimes you may have an attack of extreme negativity where you behave almost like a child would have a tantrum.

To reduce it is complicated really, but I will say this. The one thing that the negative self cannot fight against is real love and truth. Facing the truth about yourself and receiving unconditional love from a healer or trusted friend or partner- or better yet all three- through this process is key to overcoming it. I suggest finding a spiritual healer who can help you through it. If you start to have memories or very vivid dreams write them down. Keep a journal of all of it, and don't let the fear build. This is a good thing, the real you is coming out in the process. Your mind is maturing and trying to show you the truth. I will also warn against befriending this negative self. It wants to take over, and have you not be you. The very thing that protected you will hurt you and cause you to be very negative if you befriend it. Do as many positive things as you can to reduce it. The more love there is, the better you are to yourself the less it has to work with.

Becoming your true self is a process, especially if you have been abused. Be kind to yourself and take the steps to start the process. Though it isn't easy, it is well worth it. As the more you grow in the light, the positive, love and peace, the more happiness you will find for yourself.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

Truth

2012-06-14T21:45:00.003-07:00

There are many people who live in this world, in their own world of illusions. They don't want to hear the truth, and you can't be sure if what comes out of their mouths is the truth. These situations are very difficult. Day to day, I find that I must follow my own intuition, my own mind with people. It doesn't work well when I am upset or emotional. So if in a difficult situation, I have to step back from it and attempt to ground myself to find my more logical approach.

Then I think about what I know about that person. You see each person cannot be trusted at the same level. You must think about each person, their character, their personality, their attitudes and learn to have trust and faith in your own judgement. If something someone is saying doesn't feel right, follow your own mind and instincts and go with what you think. If you are being pressured into a decision, and it doesn't feel right, stick to your own mind and state that you will have to get back to them. Don't worry if they don't like it. You are the most important person to yourself. And, what you think and feel matters the most.

Frequently, when we trust someone further than they deserved, if we think back on it, we had that awareness at the time. This doesn't always hold true, but it is a frequent occurrence between people.

Learning to trust in yourself, and have faith in yourself and follow your own mind, that is a most valuable tool.

In love and light,
Bryhn
xo

Your Path

2012-06-13T19:24:00.003-07:00

Photograph by Oxygen Edge Prints $25

What is your path in life? The answer to this question, is not always easy. I can say, that when I am on my path, I feel it with all my being. My heart is full, and my soul is at ease. I feel connected to Spirit or God (or whatever you call it). I have had many lifetimes within this one, but when I am helping people to be more positive, to see their true being, to get past all the hurts and pain they have suffered in their lives, I know this is where I am supposed to be.

How do you find your path? Take a good long, hard look at your life. Think about the times you feel most at ease and what you were doing during those times. You may even want to list out those times vs times when you didn't feel that way. As you look at this list, the vision of what your path is becomes clearer. If you can meditate, meditate on the question. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring yourself back to your question. Ask Spirit directly to show you, and as you begin to see it, follow what you see with some faith. Faith is definitely a key component to allowing God to help you with this question. Faith in God, but also faith in yourself.

You may come to more than one conclusion from your soul searching. This is okay. Try things out that you come up with and look at them carefully, watching your internal and individual response to what you have found and the activities you try out. If you have found your path, I can assure you, you will know it. If you haven't, don't fret. Just repeat the process again, until you feel you have reached your path. If you have a spiritual friend or mentor, discuss what you have found have them help you sort it through. If not, do it with yourself. Review your notes if you took them, meditate on what you have found and what you have tried. Sometimes it takes a little time and effort to find where you truly belong. The experiences along the way are valuable and teach you more and more about yourself.

I wish you the best in your search for your path in life. We all have one, and when you find it, if you stick with it, your happiness will reach new heights.

Out of Love,
Bryhn
xo

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love

Tranforming Negative Thinking to Positive Thinking

2012-06-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I've had to learn to take the negatives and turn them into positives. I feel I am naturally a positive person. But, I grew up with a Dad who said frequently things like, "Hope was a ship that sank", and so any positive thinking I had around him was squashed. But, I saw my mother, thinking positively about most everything. I saw the two sides of it, and how it made her life seem happier, even though they were living together in the same world of happenings, good and bad. I really think that positive thinking makes all the difference to leading a happy life, no matter what is going on in your life. Everything isn't always going to be rosy, but we don't have to let it bring us down if we change our thinking just a little bit. Here are some ideas I have:

1. Stay away from the black and white thinking. Most children think in black and white, and don't really learn to see the gray areas until they are older. Sometimes, especially if we have been abused, we are stuck at a young emotional age and see things in black and white terms. By getting away from that kind of thinking, we see that there are lots of opinions and views on the same subject and that opens our mind. Words like always, never, and perfect should mostly be erased from our thoughts. (Except for the fact that God sees you as perfect in every way). These words though, leave no room for changes. When something awful happens, if we see it in black and white, we forget that there are parts of our life that are still happy and good, worthwhile and positive. So the black and white thinking leads us to make a small thing into something very big, and exaggerated. For instance a statement like:
"You never care what I think" vs "Right now, I don't feel that you are really listening to me or caring about what I am saying and it hurts me". The first one is black and white and seems impossible, doesn't it? The second one is talking about the here and now, and the specific situation in gray terms. It is specific, and the person has room to respond in a positive way.

2. Reduce the emotion, and add some logic. This is difficult especially when between people if there is a rift and you feel badly, But the emotion, if it grows, causes fear. Fear, reduces loving feelings, and creates paranoia at times, and even brings up insecurities. Use whatever tools you have to reduce the emotion. Take a walk, listen to some happy music, meditate, call a friend and talk about something else. Then come back to the situation and try to logically review what it is, what you can do about it, what you can say that will be positive. Write it all down if it helps you. The less emotional you are, the more logical you will be and then you will be looking for solutions to problems instead of feeling negative or bad.

3. Replace negative thoughts with new, and positive ones. This is hard, I know, especially if the negative thoughts have been there a long time. Take a moment and write down all of your positive attributes. ALL OF THEM. No matter how small you might think it is, Put it on the refrigerator and/or your bathroom mirror. Replace any negative thought about yourself with one of the positive things you wrote down, If it isn't about you, then you'll have to take it as they come. When a negative thought pops in your head, replace it with a positive one like "live love" or "life is what you make it". If you need more look around online for positive affirmations. Write them on pieces of paper and keep a jar of them in the kitchen. Pull one out every day, or any time you feel negative. You are transforming your thinking.

4. Celebrate Your life. Yes, it is your life. You create it, and don't minimize even small triumphs. Set backs will occur, bumps in the road if you will. If you overcome one, celebrate. Look at negative happenings as lessons for you. As I say over and over, we are meant to be happy. Little celebrations over life's triumphs brings positivity in more and more. So enjoy!

As individuals, we are the only ones who can make ourselves positive. As you become more positive, negative people in your life may disappear. They won't understand your change and won't want to be a part of it. This is okay. More positive people seem to magically appear. They want what you've got, and you feed on each others positivity.

You can transform your thinking, and in turn yourself to be a very positive person, no matter what life circumstances are thrown your way.

In love and light,
Bryhn

If you like this, you'll love my book, 'Out of Love'.
The link is below:
Out of Love