This is the Story of my Life

Fragments

2012-05-23T16:06:00.002-04:00

Things. Person. And all the stuff that we have memories from.
All of them are important fragments that combine and collide with each other to visualize and create our own life. Life which sometimes leaves holes and gaps in order to grow. Which leads to brittle support and sometimes crumble down when the harsh wind blows.

Sometimes in life, we stumble upon something precious without us knowing it.

I'm lucky to stumble upon something that is greater than my life itself; You.
You. You are the most important fragment in my life which fills all the holes and gaps that life leaves behind.
You. You are the essence that makes my life perfect without holes and gaps that life leaves behind.
You. You make my life perfect and worth while to live in.
You. You are my life.

It took me a while to be myself again or i will never know that i will. Day after day, i feel this warmth that surrounds me before. Its becoming clearer. It grows day by day. It is sometimes unbearable to feel (in a good way). You've accepted me the way i am, the way i was. You choose to love me when i am a jerk. You choose to love me when i am a dork. You choose to love me when i push you away. You have the strongest will and power. You.. You are one perfect creation of God. You. You are just perfect.

I.
I sincerely Love you with all my heart. ♥

Sleep tight honey.
I miss you.

HD

Control

2012-05-22T15:40:00.003-04:00

Good Evening Ladies and Gents,

Play the song above to get in the mood :P

To me the movie "The Next Three Days" about is about taking control of your life.
John did mentioned in his class "...what part of our life is truly under our control?" John took control of his life at the end of the movie but the authority that demands control will always try to eliminate people like John who just wants to be free from the Hamster Wheel of Life :) People who wants to take control of their own life will always be an outcast when they HAVE the control.

Finally, after a while i'm in a mood to blog on something.
On something which is called "Control"
Before i start, let me ask you this, do we have control in our life?
Are we in charge of everything?
Are we?

Since the existence of human being, we spend most of our time to take control of our life.
Take control.
We spend a lot of time to organize our life. We build clocks, calenders and try to predict everything, birth, weather, shares and a lot more.
But which part of our life are TRULY and SOLELY under our control?
For instance, our pay are controlled by the person in charge.
The universe are controlled by the higher power.
Heh, our nation are being controlled by politicians.

We are choosing to live in a reality of our own making.
We try to create our own reality in the world where we can never have control on.
Does this trait in humans making everyone insane?
Trying to be on top of everyone. Trying to take control of the nation. Trying to monopolize the business. Trying to be on time. Trying to skip the traffic. Trying to take control... OF OUR OWN LIFE!
Its not wrong. Not at all. Of course we want to have control over everything. That world will be a very beautiful world without worry, hesitation and tolerance; we can throw away "HOPE" into the burning fire of Hell. Kick that shit away. No use of HOPE if the world is under our control.

Ask yourself now,at this very moment, can you control your world? your reality in the making?
Could you? Can you?

In my point of view, there is nothing that we can control. Nothing. There's too many possibilities!
Too many variation of possibilities. 1% chances - 100% chances to 100000000% chances on one possible outcome. ON ONE POSSIBLE OUTCOME. We are talking about moving a JUST a SINGLE muscle on our body. Just one step to do something there's THOUSANDS of possible outcome. The minute our brain emits some chemical to process them to lead them to our muscle to move them to make our coffee. Anything can happen. Our brain stops working. Our muscle cramps. The cup is cracked. The coffee is stale. The machine mechanism does not work. Our colleague bumps into us. Our muscle tore. A LOT, INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.
Therefore,
To control is to eliminate any kind of UNWANTED possibilities. Agreed? The dictionary should change their definition yes? The definition in our dictionary nowadays are too specific to a certain situation.

We can't have control really in this deteriorating reality. Well, except our feelings, mind and attitude to the situation that we perceive we can control.

Change our attitude, surround yourself with positive feelings and set your mind to LIVE A GREAT LIFE! :)
When things does not bode well, well its not in your control. Take a hit and move on! Taunt your life to hit you and TAKE THEM with a smile.
Leave them behind and try something new. Do not worry or hesitate because we DO NOT HAVE CONTROL no matter how much we try. We are just a human being. A human being. Only the divine power has control over everything.

Live your life like there will be no tomorrow. Love your life more. Love it.
Love the positive and negative parts of your life. Its A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE where nobody can feel it except YOU! Life give you shit, YOU SMILE! :)

Hopefully, everybody will smile more after reading this.

Lots of Love!
Cheers!

HD

Busy

2012-02-02T12:53:00.000-05:00

Currently, we are pretty much occupied all the time.
Most of the time we will be discussing on what is our business plan and etc..
Well, my attention span won't last long.

Sorry hun and thanks for having a very huge patience.
So, there's nothing big to update but our opportunity for this year is very promising.

Let's hope for the best and all the best to you out there.

Cheers!

HD

Schranz

2011-12-14T13:37:00.000-05:00

Its been a while since i could hold my head up high. hahaha..
NO thats not it.

Actually, its been a while since i listen to Schranz!
Industrial piece of shit.. claimed some people...

But yeah industrial kind of sound. Kinda.

Sounds like you are riding an awesome TRAIN! :D
Believe me.

HD

Goofy. Rest In Peace My Dear.

2011-10-29T02:02:00.003-04:00

After nearly a month fighting with kidney failure.

Goofy.

At 12.40pm 29th October 2011, she left us for a better place.
She has been in and out of the vet.
The last time she went to the vet, the doctor told us that she has 1-2 weeks left.
I told Goofy to wait for my mom to come back from NYC.
She did...
She understood what i said.
She was fighting like.. she just doesn't wanna go yet.
She can't drink and we have to jab her with water everyday.
Until last night.. it shattered me seeing her condition.

I told my mom that she is waiting for you to come back.
My mom messaged me to tell Goofy that she loves her.
I shed tears when she told me that.

I told Goofy that its alright to go.
Mama said she loves you.
Its alright to not wait for mama.
Approximately, 12hours after that, my siblings and i were right beside her, to be with her for her last breath.
That just made me burst in tears.

After 9 - 10 years, she lived with us.
Since she was born. :(
She is a part of this family. She is like my younger sister.
Years! Our joy and our tears.
:'(

I'm sorry Goofy for my wrongdoings.
I'm sorry if i didn't take care of you properly.
I'm sorry if i made you stay longer.
I'm sorry if it hurts for you.

Look at her. She was alright in the pic.
She was sooooo close to us all.
She likes to jump and sleep on us.
and she purrs.
She was the most girliest among her siblings and cousins.
She likes to groom herself every time.

I miss you already Goof Goof :'(

I will always remember you and I love you soooooo much!!

Thank you for being a part of our life.

You will always be in our heart.

Rest in Peace Goofy. I love you and i miss you already and i sayang you.

I will see you soon :)

HD

ROCK BOTTOM

2011-10-19T15:33:00.000-04:00

Rock Bottom.

I know that today i reached my rock bottom.

It has been 4+ months since i started doing business..

Today, marks my lowest point.

Wow.

It wow-ed me till i can't think at all.

I got screamed in the public!

I was waiting alone for him and he came by with his right hand man.

My business partner has some other chores to do.

His son came during the screaming session.

I was like NO.. NO.. NOOO not in front of his son..

It went like this..

We were having a drink and when i told him what's the problem really was which apparently not a problem to him! WTF!

We are just taking precaution but then he has other plans which WE DID NOT KNOW!

Why cant you focking tell us? That everything will be okay even though our paper work or licence is NOT SUFFICIENT! FOCKING SHIT!

He asked me question that is very vindictive.

As if he wants to hear what he wanna hear.

With his loud voice. When i didnt say a word.. awkward silence between us which makes me blurt out STOOPID answer..

My mentor screamed at me. With his angry eyes.

He said he will pull off all the projects that we have.. :(

And he told me that do not come and see him again.

Now, he is my ex-mentor then.

Sigh, that was sad.

It was unintentional fault.

I didn't know it was wrong.

I was embarrassed like seriously very.

I guess it was never meant to be.

I felt relieve, really.

I know that doing business with him is going to be tough.

I dreamed about this before. I know its going to happen.

Out of all days, it happened today.

Which tomorrow, our first project will be awarded to us. :"(

Now, its gone in the midst of the FECKING AIR.

Now, we are back to square one.

Its okay :)

As much as i love the challenge, i'm very frustrated that my mentor just left me that way..

In front of his right hand man and HIS SON!

OH GAWD!

I survived that hellish and agonizing and suffering moment.

Never again.

NEVER AGAIN I WILL LET MYSELF BEING PLACED IN THAT SITUATION!

NEVER!

Putting my shit back together for a glorious day tomorrow!

Soft Side

2011-10-18T16:53:00.001-04:00

Listening to Dustin O'Halloran

Woke up from my sleep thinking about her

This post is dedicated to my lover who loves me like i am the only guy in the world.

Good Evening to all my respected readers,

I've learned that to blame the external causes proves that nothing good comes from it.

I've learned that forgive and forget is very powerful and strengthening.

I've learned that other people may experienced more hellish situation than me.

To begin with.

My soft side..

My long gone soft side..

My soft side went for a trip for a very long time until recently they decided to come back.

My soft side hid under the hard shell of rage and anger.

My hard shell of bastard-ness has been smashed by you.

You did it, little by little.

Until you touched them..

Your supple love just glistened with nectar of life.

Your Love

Is simply magical

You,

I just want you to know that you've changed me.

You've changed me into a better person.

A person who learns how to reason.

Reason on how to be a bigger entity.

An entity that i never dreamed of being together.

When we first laid eyes at Pennsylvania Hotel when you were at NYC for a holiday.

A person that shows a lot of "dont mess around with me" kinda aura.

I never knew that you will be my significant other.

I've always noticed the chemistry we had and have though.

Ahaa. :)

Tonight. I really miss you.

On the webcam, sleeping beside me.

I have that void that i have not feel for such a long time.

The void that only you could fill it up with your laughter and your beautiful eyes and more.

This void causes a heartache that i thought i will never be that soft to feel it.

Oh, im wrong, im so wrong.

You've showed me how to love again.

How to love you more!

How to love.

*sigh*

Looking back.. its such a long and agonizing journey for me.

and i've caused a lot of pain to other people too.. which i completely detest!

You took my hands and showed me the way..

to the brighter side.

Illuminating. Certainly.

You,

I just want you to know that i miss holding your hands..

I just want you to know that you are my life.

My world revolves around you.. well most of the time LOL.. without the PS3 yeah...

Just kidding.

My world do revolves around you.

Usually, when i play my game, i have you around...

but now, i don't even want to touch it..

Sayang,

Over the couple few days. i am a little bit emotional and mellow. I'm sorry.

I can't remember when was the last time i really look into your eyes..

Just look at you.. holding your hands, side by side..

and say that I Love You.

Baby, I miss you a lot.

Come back fast! :)

Come back really fast.

I need you here with me.

Hamster Wheel

2011-09-25T14:37:00.000-04:00

Hello there boys and girls,

It has been a while since i last posted a new post here in my blog :)
Im very happy to tell you that ive left the company for a month now and IM OFF the hamster wheel.
Im doing business on my own now and it is great :)

I have a very supportive partner but sadly she will join me soon because of our financial status will be strong with her help.
Im trying to change my negative attitude into a very positive attitude.

T Harv said "My inner world creates my outer world"
Will change my roots to get great results not only good but GREAT!
Yes and YES!

We are currently venturing in many types of businesses such as Construction, Information and Communication Technology (ICT), Event Management, Printing, Training, Trading, Lighting and Green Technology. We got great supports from our parents and friends.

I am encouraging my friends and family to become an entrepreneurs!!
Im happier than before! I love it! I love the challenges :)
I love my partner which is my business partner too! :)

If you need more information please visit our page.
http://www.facebook.com/TYHResources
We will create our logo soon :)

Cheers!
HD

This will be..

2011-07-18T12:50:00.002-04:00

Hopefully, this will be my last task at this company.

Will be resigning soon..

and hopefully, yeah.. we will see.

Been preparing a lot for the exhibition this coming wednesday.

Logistics, display item, booth, VIP, dinners, reservations... bla bla bla blaaaaaaa

Its been over 2 months for the preparations.. well of course, aside other jobs, not to mention the hellish ad hog jobs...

I'm being treated like a robot.

I wont be one. Will be running away from the hamster wheel!

All the best to me!

LMAO

2011-07-09T22:37:00.002-04:00

Let's Munch An Orange

Life

2011-07-09T14:27:00.003-04:00

Life.

What is the first thing on your mind when it comes to life?

The thing that you're thinking, that's the main goal of your life.

Or maybe not. Just saying.

Life.

There are ups and downs.

Someone told me that whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

Live you life.

Be sad, Be happy, and so on..

Yeah of course.

Life has crossroads.

Sometimes our life's crossroads is the same as someone else's

Thats when you meet them..

Sometimes, you will walk together with them for a long time and when it comes to another crossroad, .. that's when it hard..

Hard to say goodbye.

Hard to see your friend or whoever that is chooses another road.

Hard, it is hard..

But life goes on.

Its been a while since i blog, so my structure.. is not there. hopefully you know where im coming from.

wait... i never had structure before in my blog. LOL

Let continue!

And sometimes... only happens rarely...

You will have somebody to walk together till the end of days.

That's when you dont have to worry to stop by at other crossroads.

Because you know, the next road you will choose, there is someone beside you.

Life can be hard sometimes.

Life shows you that you're human.

Life add spices to your life.

Life is ALIVE.

To tell you the truth.. ive lost my point.. shit...

but whatever it is, for those who are sad out there.. remember!

that there's always something good awaits you... maybe not around the corner..

but they are coming.. TIME is important..

TQ lads.

Cheerios!

Work

2011-07-01T08:17:00.001-04:00

Work

Or what ever you wanna call it.

BDM just checked in to our office.

Not liking it at all.

Im supposed to be the BDM!

Not him!

damn it

Gonna see whats up.

Boring tul.

Fights

2011-06-29T13:04:00.002-04:00

Im getting too old for this.

I will keep quiet if i have nothing to say

My mouth only know how to fuel the fire

and my anger just add dynamite to it sweet huh?

I dont know what to do now.

To even think about it.. it makes me mad

I dont even know what is it about anymore..

weird fuck

Stevens Reunion!

2011-05-22T10:39:00.003-04:00

Just got back from my alma mater's reunion!

My third reunion with my Stevens family actually.

Our alumni is really active with events.

and i can only turn up to few of them.

We went to Mid Valley to try out the new Laser Tag thingy.

hahahah funny, in New York we didnt wanna try it but in Malaysia yeah we do wanna try it..

Nevertheless, it was fun!!

ahahha we kick asss!!

Camping and shooting the little buggers cheating shit! :)

I managed to get the high score for one of the session! Hihihihi!

We managed to catch up on our working jobs and stuff.

As usual, Apok with his funny and witty words ahahaha.. using all the cliche words at work..

like liaise, shall, procurement and more

I miss them so much!

The fun stuff that we shared during my 4 years life at the States!
Our successful seniors!

One of them is the MD of her own company! wow.. hebat!

And all of them is SOMEONE at their respected offices.

I think Stevens has a very good breed of alumni.

Hopefully it will continue on as we are adding more members each year.

As the self proclaimed Social Chair of Stevens MASA Alumni, Im happy that we still make time to see each other and have fun together. :)

Cheers!

The Land Before Time

2011-05-09T09:16:00.002-04:00

I'm listening to one of The Land Before Time soundtrack.

To tell you the truth, James Horner is a good composer.

Fecking awesome.

Well, im not gonna talk about that movie.

What is time?

Time?

According to the dick-tionary: A nonspacial cunt-inuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future..

...........

fuck this is boring.

Apparently, Najib introduces 1ASEAN?

LOL!

I hate to say this buttt... TOLLLDDD YAA!!!!!

I FUCKIN TOLD YAAA!

FUCK its true. damn it.

So theres nothing we can do now huh?

damn it.

NWO is coming.

Brace for it.

On the other hand...
Last week, she and i was out with our new found friend from Swiss..

well actually he is our client.. but not a client anymore.. a friend.

He knows about us..

We brought him around and shit..

not only him, but I DISCOVERED NEW PLACE IN KL!
LOL!!!

Enough bout that.

Im still regretting that i missed my friend's wedding!
FOR FUCK's SAKE!!! FUCK!!!

URGH! cannot forgive myself

The thing is.. on Saturday, i was out with my family.. relaxing.. not doing any shit..

till the night comes.. where we celebrated mother's day. and then straight away i picked my swiss friend up and when to zouk and changkat.

FUCK MAN! FUCK!

I was planning to bring him along on sunday because I TOT THE FREAKING WEDDING IS ON SUNDAY!!!!! :(:(:( SHIT!

damn it.damn it damn it damn it damn it!!

On Sunday, we brought him to Bukit Bintang aand there's a freaking nice bar at the top of LOT 10! LOL! i dont know that.

wow! i never thought KL is that beautiful! :)

fuck. enough of this.

im hungry and grumpy.

for fuck sake

fucking stupid title with a fucking stupid post.

Good fucking job.

fucken fuck.

fuckkooss!

Business And Friends

2011-04-19T10:49:00.004-04:00

How many of you have engaged business with your buddy?

Hell must be lots of you guys.

How many of you lost some of your friends because of business?

HELLHACKSHIT, must be LOADS of you. Expected!!

Business and friends should go well together.NOTTTTTTTTTTT!

Why?

Because of the trust and time we spend together as a friend.

We must be thinking, heck, he/she wont stab me in the back.

Thats wrong.

Everybody can stab you in the back.

Money could split marriage. Heh, and now this, just a friendship. Friendship is peanuts when compared to marriage.

Businesses also changed the personality of the so called friends.

I have a friend which im still in contact now.

He is very excited with new connections and 'big budget' projects.

Well, and now he looked down on me.

Brags about the projects.

Brags about the connections.

When i have some contacts to introduce to him, he questioned the credibility of my contacts..

No cikai2... No shit.. hm..

Show me ONE project that you've close than you can talk shit.

Just ONE!

Money doesn't come rolling to your feet.

There is no such thing as free lunch.

There is no substitute for working hard.

Ive handled a lot of projects.

Ive handled clients from Australia, Germany, Singapore, UK, Spain, JAPAN(we are JVing with) and well Malaysia of course.

Ranging from few thousand dollars to billions of dollars.

To close a fucking project is not just as simple as "Oh i have a 7 billion project, do you have any contacts that could do the project? Commission has to be split 50/50"

What about the groundwork for the feasibility of the project?

What about Letter of Award?

If its a Direct Nego, well show me the papers! the details of the project

Not just simply as one fucking meeting and you will get the 1% commission!

When people see the big budget.. there goes their values, there goes their friends, there goes everything, rude and very condescending.

To do a project worth 420million is hellish.

And youre talking about 7 billion project.

and you talk to me like youve been doing business for years!

Ive been working in this company for just 4 months.

But the experience ive obtained is priceless.

Few of my projects failed!

2 of them failed even during the introduction.

and one of them failed to just execute the project.

Why?

No fucking paper trail.

The trend in Malaysia nowadays is to cheat the contractor by getting some shit money upfront and then only they will reveal the papers for the project. Then youll realize that you dont have enough budget to start the project because some people above took the money and put it in their pockets without doing any shit.

Ive been taught to save our ass first with paper trails.

Even though it will take a lot more time to signed an agreement but at least you have the terms and condition to save your side.

I have contacts. Im beginning to create my own networking web.

Its interesting. And its interesting to meet up with successful people in the business world.

One of them is the CSL owner. Just a simple phone but he is a billionaire.

Volume is the secret.. the volume that you sell to the customer to get lots of profit because you have low margin for each of the product.

I have less experience in business if compared to my significant other.

Im happy that i have a teammate to double check my moves.

Hopefully we will close one deal!

Get the commission the right way and away we go :)

Insya Allah..

Katy :(

2011-04-12T11:58:00.006-04:00

Let me tell you a story about a kitten.

A strong little kitten.

One day, I was hanging out at 7-Eleven with her.

No where to go and to hang out at.

Halfway through the session..

Suddenly, i heard a sound..

Sound of a kitten meowing.. far away from me.

I could hear her voice calling for her mom maybe.

As expected, i ran towards the voice..

I cannot ignore the sound, which happens to be ME. My philosophy maybe or just my way of handling the situation.

As i get closer, the sound is getting clearer.

It was dark. The sounds of cars rushing through the road and there she was.. in the drain..

trying to climb her way out.

I checked the surroundings whether theres her siblings somewhere near.

None to be found including her mom.

So, i picked her up. :)

aahhhh the warmm fuzzy feeling.

She was calico in color and very small.. around 2 weeks? or so..

But i know i cannot get attached to this kitten.

I just have to help her.

I called my lil brother to bring up the torchlight so that i could search the drains and

My house was nearby.

When i left her on the ground, she will come for me..

Sigh :(

Found an empty box and i placed her inside.

She was so small and fat.

Im sure her mom is nearby.. so i just left her alone in the box hoping her mom will get her back.

But.. nothing, no sign of a cat at all

And there was a pack of wild dogs coming to that area.

Im not taking any chances.

I took her home. My mom told me that i have to take care of the kitten not her.

But i know she will love the kitten too eventually.

The next day, we bought bottle for kitten and her milk to nurse her

:) She didnt eat the night before.

So, she drank the milk... and she slept.

We left her for work.

For the next 2 weeks, i woke up at 4am

just to give her the milk and my mom will take over during the afternoon as i wont be at home.

We clean her up, we gave her milk, we watch her grow,

and sometimes when shes done with the milk she will sleep on me.

Purring.. :(

She likes to be cuddled up in a towel and she will sleep in it.

She was sooo cute.. and her eyes.. ahhhh cute

her mouth and her smell.. smell of kittens.. :)

VERY VERY CUTE

My mom began to love her too! haha!

She was very active..

Ran around the house..

Hopping.. played with my other senior cats.

As days go by, she getting bigger and bigger.

She ran around the house.. we laughed seeing her cute behavior

hahaa.:) just effing cute

But one day, she had diarrhea.

Brought her to the clinic and the doctor said she needs to be de-wormed.

A week after, she began to eat but still shes having diarrhea.

Brought her to the clinic again.

Still she needs to be de-wormed..

We gave her the medicine, glucose for energy and milk.

I have to force feed her.. :'( I feel bad now..

i want her to live of course..

Then, she got active again but still having the diarrhea..

I began to ignore her.. because i tot she's getting bigger now

and we've past the crucial time to nurture her which is during her nursing period.

Every time i went to the kitchen, she will be meowing..

at times ill let her out and clean her up

gave her food and water.

but at times.. ill ignore her.. :(( fuckkk...

Sometimes i feel angry at her because.. i got lots of work to do..

but i have to clean her up..

Every morning before i go to work, ill give her food and if i have time ill clean her up..

Then, today, i had a meeting in Cheras.

It was late, and my mom called me..

I told her that im in the meeting and ill call her back.

After an hour, i call her up..

and she sounds... like she cried.

and i asked her why did she called?

She said "The kitten"

I was like " what about the kitten?"

She said "She died"

I was so shockeddd! :(

I cried on the spot.

YA was there and she began to comfort me.

As i reached home..

This is the fucked up part..

The part which makes me burst in tears.

I went to the kitchen..

Saw her food on the kitchen counter...

I began to cry..

No more meowing for food.

No more..

No more of her purring asking for food or out from the cage..

It was empty..

Her cage was empty..

Her bed was empty..

It was clean and not messy..

No more little paws reaching out from the cage..

I saw her bottles on the kitchen counter

It kills me..

I feel bad

Im regretting everything..

I know i could take care of her a little bit better.

I know i could treat her a little bit better.

I know that she could live longer.. :(

She was alright yesterday..

I saw her last night.

She was purring..

and i said.. go to sleep Katy.. youve eaten just now.

I didnt manage to pat her for the last time.. :(

I didnt manage to give her food for the last time.

The sand is still red..

My mom buried her at our backyard..

I have her pictures..

I have her videos..

:'(

I can still hear her voice meowing in my head... :((

I feel so sad...!!!!!!!!!

Im angry at myself.

I know i can treat her better.

I feel bad.

My whole house is gloomy. My mom is still sad.

TO Katy:

I know you are not here anymore.

I love you.

Even though i didnt give you enough attention.

I tot youll live longer.

Im sorry.

Im so sorry Katy.

You'll always be here in my heart..

Im sorry. and i love you.

:'(

Rest in Peace Katy

Stress Ball

2011-03-30T07:56:00.004-04:00

Its 8.00pm.. i just reached home.

I just have another 30 minutes to relax and im off to work again... SHIT!

I have anger management problem yeah i know that shit.

Luckily i have some furry friends at home to greet me..

Which hey it lower down the stress level a bit :)

Back to the fucking story.. I will be fuckkkkeeennn angry

Especially when it comes to some fucking bullshit 3rd party twat fuck.

Well, i was alright throughout the day.

And suddenly a friend of mine ask me about his situation,

where some guy touched her gf's arms..

Spontaneously, i answered ill be piss if i dont fucking know that guy.

If a friend.. yeah.. considerable READ THIS CONSIDERABLE! I didnt say oh i will be okay..

I SAID Ill weigh that shit.

I was sitting down doing my work.

And yeah, you guessed that right. It was some guy who i fucking hate, gosh i wanna fuck his head up, touches my girl's arm. Even though it was a friendly note or heck who the fuck knows, that guy might be a fucking pervert just looking for a chance or some shit. Fuck him seriuosly..

Because i know that fucked up guy has feelings for her since the first day im at the office!!! FUCK!

DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN.

FUCK that shit if u think i shouldnt be over protective.

Well, i shouldnt

I KNOW i shoudnt

But shit bound to happen when we tend to chill..

Micro manage every shit so you know whatever you do if things didnt happen, its not your fault..

Fuck im so stressed out.

VERY FUCKING ANGRY!

urgh.. enough drama please.

I hate 3rd party.

Listen to this, i fucking hate 3rd party,

If only i can wipe out every fucking single one of them.

I can live happily ever after.

FUCK!

Im very stressed out at work, at home and now even this shit!

Im working like a dog. with fucked up payment. shit fuck bastard!

I have to deal with every sort of shitty people.

Who wants money who wants benefits from us

who wants shit!

I have to pretend to be a very cool fucking person in front of some hot shots.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its getting to my nerve really quick!

I need to let go of stuff that i cant control.

I need to learn how to be cool.

I need to learn NOT TO CARE. but wait when you dont care the other party will say you dont love them that much! hmm WELL CHOOSE! you want me to be protective or not protective!

I need to be able to keep my composure.

I need to know how to channel my fucking anger somewhere else.

I think i need to buy a stress ball.

I need that.

btw, one more time you stupid dude.

I see you do shit, youre fucking gonna get it.

I dont give a fuck.

ill bitch slap you back to wherever shithole you came from!

I need a stress ball.

Special Post: Just For Her

2011-03-27T12:33:00.006-04:00

Good Evening People.

And Good Evening to you My Love.

Its 1230am, 28th of March 2011.

Before that, this post is gooey and lovey dovey. Before you go further, gotta make sure that you can handle that. :P

Its been nearly 3 months together.

And i feel like I've known you for such a long time.

At this rate we are going, i know we are very much strong to get to the next stage.

But, Im sorry if im a little bit childish.. haha hopefully youre gonna get childish too!

HAHAHA which hey, sometimes we are childish!

"College student!" The best compliment we got today.

Speaking about compliments.

Nobody ever compliments me like you do baby.

Your remarks to me just now.. just blew me away...

Never felt like being on a pedestal before until just now.

I want you to feel the same way because..

You bring me to the stage where im not scared of relationship and love anymore.

Commitments and marriage or more.

I have to thank you for that.

Youre Perfect.

I love the way you are.

Youre somewhat like a guardian angel.

My guardian angel.

You really know how to handle me.

You accept my flaws.

You know how to make me happy

You know everything about me.

Youre Beautiful

Youre Brilliant

You have very high confidence level

Youre Hot and CUTE!

GOSH!

Oh Youre a good kisser too! <-- DAMN GOOD!

Im lucky to meet you and make you mine!

So freaking lucky to make you mine

Thank you for making the decision to see me at Empire..

If not, we are not going to be here right now.

The way you look at me.. is full of love.. and lust (sometimes) hahaha

The way you hold me..

The way you talk to me..

The way you console me..

The way you cling to me..

Everything about it is soooo perfect.

Safe to say, I never met someone who is this perfect like you.

And sayang, im not blinded.

I weigh the pros and cons.

I know that you are perfect for me.

Im bagging this fish home.

You're a very big catch and ill keep it by my side

Everytime i see you, i will be happy.

Remember our lunch just now?

We laughed our ass off at the table.

Cant ever talk after that.

Plus, im close to your family.

I love hanging out with them

I love playing games with them

Never been close to any family before.

I will always love you, and i believe that you are for me.

Let hope for the best okay baby?

Lets go and sleep now, tomorrow is a working day.

Dear sayang,

Thank you :)

and again! Im nottttt blinded!

I know what im seeing

I know when i see values and assets. :D

Youre my GREATEST Love.

I really really reallyyyyyyyyy love your EYES!

Geram tgk!

I sayang you a lot k sayang!

Thank you for finding me and bring me to my track.
Living the dream life that im longing for.

Your Love,

Clock is Ticking

2011-03-24T12:08:00.006-04:00

Time waits for no one.

Everyday i feel like the day is getting shorter and shorter!!

Why?

Because i got a lot of tasks to do..

Every morning, when i open up my outlook..

There you go.. the tasksssssss that i haven't done or some follow up has to be done.

Sigh. Its really hard to juggle sometimes but as times go on, i began to keep my composure.

Even though ill be a drama king along the process... heh! I dont care! :)

I got no time for my girlfriend

My family! urghh

My football FC! Dahlia FC..

My Friends..

sigh been neglecting them for quite a while..

Its not totally neglecting, its just that i HAVE A LOT of work to do.

I just got back from a meeting, and guess what.. its 12am in the morning now.

Fuck! im so tired. My eyes are swollen, my nose is runny,

I feel like i will have a cold.

SHIT! Hate that.

My brother is out with his friends

Sigh, if only i have the privilege to do that.

Now its all about money and getting stable before you get married.

Tomorrow is gonna be a long day also..

Better Sleep Now!

Cheers

Condolences to Sureen's Family.

2011-03-24T12:04:00.003-04:00

Dear Sureen,

I know you are having a bad time. I dont know what to say.

Just be strong for your family. I know its cliche.

But things like this.. made us speechless.

I want to stop by your house today.. urgh. i got lotsa meeting.

Im sorry. Sigh. Ill try and stop by soon.

Stay strong dear.

Al- Fatihah.

Barf

2011-03-16T20:01:00.004-04:00

Im barfing uncontrollably!!!

AHHHHH!!!

This morning i show something that i detest!!

Disgust!

I gagged!

Gag me with a FORK!

So my throat will bleed!

Ill throw up blood!

HOLLY SHIT!

Someone eats their own words!

The world is full with hypocrites!

OHMYGOODNEESSSS!!!!

Okay i just gagged again.

Tasted my vomit in my mouth.

YUCK!

Muntah muntahhh!!

okay gotta do my work!

Meeting at 10am

Meeting meeting meeting!

Killzone 3

2011-03-16T10:38:00.004-04:00

KILLZONE 3 is awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Played it for weeks now :)

My brother bought the collectors edition where you can download additional maps for free.

The multiplayer mode is flawless.

Warzone mode is the best

Add me up!

haha im not that good though.

Still trying to learn.

FPS is THEEE Game for ps3.

Great graphics, great storyline.

Modern Warfare 2 is great.

Waiting for Modern Warfare 3.

Gonna be released at the end of this year.

I guess.

Not a fan of Black Ops.

Played it but i think the Modern Warfare lineup is awesome-r

WOot wooootttt!

One thing

2011-03-16T09:58:00.003-04:00

One thing about haters is.. they are pests!

hahahahahahaha!

Cheers mate.

True i dont know shit about 'cinta'

HAHAHAHAAH

but who cares.

Thanks for filling up my traffic.

Really appreciate it.

Manchester United is..

2011-03-16T02:46:00.003-04:00

EVERYWHEREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Look at the picture above!

I found it today.

Its about some pro-Libyan supporters who managed to take over the city which is controlled by the rebels

Manchester United.. in the middle of the upcoming civil war

Manchester United!

Glory glory man Uniiiiteddd unittteddd

Glory glory

By the way, we won yesterday!

HOOAHH!!

This is the Story of my Life

Fragments

Control

Busy

Schranz

Goofy. Rest In Peace My Dear.

ROCK BOTTOM

Soft Side

Hamster Wheel

This will be..

LMAO

Life

Work

Fights

Stevens Reunion!

The Land Before Time

Business And Friends

Katy :(

Stress Ball

Special Post: Just For Her

Clock is Ticking

Condolences to Sureen's Family.

*Barf*

Killzone 3

One thing

Manchester United is..

Barf