This is the Story of my Life

Stress

2013-11-20T12:55:00.002-05:00

Stress. Is an ASS!

Time is another asshole.

Cheers

Big Sacrifices

2013-10-28T01:30:00.000-04:00

Good Afternoon lads,

Big Sacrifices...
Had to be done for a better future.

Have you done it before?
I'm sure you do.

It is hard but its the right way.

Cheers!

HD

I got my head checked by a Jumbo Jet!

2013-10-06T13:58:00.002-04:00

It wasn't easy..

It sucks missing someone.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
who doesnt miss you back

HD

Ps: First time ever writing on my new layout! :) Looks awwwwesome!

Ramadhan Mubarak

2013-07-09T15:15:00.001-04:00

Hello There,

I hope this post finds you readers (if any) well.

This is the first day of Ramadhan. I'm feelin very happy and very positive and VERY LIGHT.

Please forgive my wrongdoings. Please. I apologize for everything.

Im Happy. Alhamdulillah :)

All challenges ahead seemed sooooo tiny and soooo doable.

Thank you God.

Have a great Ramadhan and have a great year ahead.

Cheers!

HD

Of Something that we couldn't see

2013-06-23T17:41:00.002-04:00

Hello There.

I hope this blog finds you well.

Nearly 8 months since i last visited my blog. My own Blog.
There are lots of crossroads that I've been through over this past few months. Crossroads.
People come and go. Work load comes and go. Everything in the world comes and go..
Except family. They will stay in our heart and mind.

Friends too come and go. I've lost and discovered new friends in this past year.
True friends. Through my ups and downs.

Of something that we couldn't see coming..

I couldn't see what's coming. That's His job. Let's just ride it.

In 3 days, it would mark my one year.. One year since the last one left..
The last one who i thought would stay till my last breath.
I didn't see these coming.
Still they went away..

The ripples still haunts me sometimes.
Do i miss the moment? or do i miss the person herself? funny.
I know i'm stronger now emotionally but when i'm alone..
That's when i'm the weakest.

I don't really give a shit if people see me when i'm at my weakest.
I have nothing to hide.
If they like me, they will like me.
If they don't then they won't.

I'm happy that she finds someone that understands her more than i did.
As stated before, i will find my way. Nature will always find its way.
I'm glad that we met and our roads crossed for a few term.
I would never discover some parts of me if it wasn't because of her.

I'm learning to accept defeat and some stuff are meant to be unknown..
So, let it be..
Life is too short to be in my own bubble...

I'll have my time and savor my time..
I'll just go through this phase with a smile..

It hurts but things are just not meant to be :)

That is life. Spices of life.

I will find someone new.
My Liefje. Pronounced as Leafy.

Let it be if its 1 day, 1 week or 10 years from now.

I will wait for you Liefje.

Goodnight.

Love,
HD

What is Love?

2012-11-22T15:48:00.001-05:00

Hello there,

I've been searching the meaning of 'Love' for a while now.
I have yet to discover what is the true meaning of Love. What is it? What entice people for that feeling?
What attracts people to have Love?
Been in Love. Been there done it for a couple of times.
But having Love even the unconditional love.. is not enough.
Someone told me, Love doesn't make the world go around. I guess its true. Love only will not make anything work.

Marriage for instance, Love? yeah its there. What about money? Stability? Mental preparation?
Without them, it will not work. Right? Yeah true.

Life is right there in front of us. We still have to live our life without love or with love.
Life has to go on, a cliche i know, nonetheless, its true and overused.

I, myself, not searching for a relationship.
Not searching for Love. Not the number one priority now.
I have lots of love around me. My friends and family and not to forget the furry animals.
This is just a small hurdle, falling out of love is just a small obstacle that everyone has to face at some point of their life.

It will mature us. grow us. strengthen us. The experience will.

Maybe there will be a time where i will fully open my heart again.
I hope not in this near future. Don't want to poison my body and head with that empty shit!
Opps. Negative side is taking over. Sorry.
Positive. Be Positive.

Remember, Love to Him. God. Is different than loving the mortal life.
He will always Love us no matter what. So, Love him more.
Life is just temporary.

There are bigger fish to fry. Bigger problems to solve. More Love for people out there. Huge challenge that i'm will to take up.

Just Bring It! My inner self scream and crave for more.

In Shaa Allah.

Cheers.

HD

P/S: No structure and Flow, I KNOW! just wanna write something on the blog. :)

Of Post Break Up!

2012-10-22T08:51:00.001-04:00

Good Evening Ladies and Gents,

So, it has been about... 4 months since i just broke up. Again! for the 3rd time. Damn!
I have no luck in relationship. BUT i'm the luckiest person alive that i have such great old and new friends and acquaintances. HOOAH!

Life has to go on and i did go on with my life. Discovering new great and awesome shit.
Getting OD-ed on weed which is UNCOOL! seriously.
Handhugs! which is the cutest thing i've ever seen in a while.
And generally, life is great and awesome. All the little stuff that we don't see, just shined and i am just blown away.
I'm overwhelmed by this new change in me and new path that is being laid down ahead of me.
I'm stronger and willing to walk alone through the new adventure in the near future.
Very excited and i'm overwhelmed.

I'm so lucky :)
Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for showing me other important things in life. Syukur.

Cheers!

HD

Brave.Strong.Smart

2012-06-25T07:27:00.001-04:00

I'm brave. I'm strong, I'm smart.

Dear Allah,
please make me braver, stronger and smarter to get through your tests and challenges.
Without You, i'm nothing.

Please, i beg for Your mercy. Please show me the way.

HD

WIT.

2012-06-24T05:09:00.001-04:00

WIT.
Pure wit. No.
W.I.T. What is this?
What is the perfect lingo to describe things that i am experiencing?

This rage.
Rage that is burning within.
Where does it comes from?
From the 7th Gate of Hell?

Where am i?
Am i falling back without knowing it, instead of 10 steps ahead?

What is this?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

Better be dead instead of this.
Shit that i don't understand.
Shit that i can't comprehend.

HD

Sometimes

2012-06-24T00:33:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, its very hard to understand.
Sometimes, its outrageous.
Sometimes, its overwhelming.
Sometimes, its stupid..
Sometimes, its weird.
Sometimes, only the bad shit flies in the air.
Sometimes, it is sucks.
Sometimes, my head just fills up with rage.

After a long period of time, some say its drifting apart.
Well, to me its life. You can never have the best all the time.
If you want the best all the time, be your own god. Create your own world.

Its fine.
Do whatever you think its best.

The world is good but sometimes, they just want turbulence.
Created by their own hands and mind.
Not to mention other elements.
Elements that consist of brainless zombies with their words emerged from their arse hole.

Why do you want to smell a rotten piece of corpse?
Why can't you smell the roses and stay that way.

Is this some stupid plan?
Plans that are a blueprint for a fucking disaster?

Its fine.
Its a typical blueprint.
Blueprints that are created by evil sects.

Shield that has been created long time ago will be on guard when it happens.
Brace for War.
War from within. A war that will teach vast lessons.
Wars that have been fought before.
Wars that will be the same and the outcome is the same.
Survival of the fittest.
Spartan training.
Blood, sweat and tears.

The fitness that comes from previous mindless battles.
Suck, it is. It does suck.

HD

Fragments

2012-05-23T16:06:00.002-04:00

Things. Person. And all the stuff that we have memories from.
All of them are important fragments that combine and collide with each other to visualize and create our own life. Life which sometimes leaves holes and gaps in order to grow. Which leads to brittle support and sometimes crumble down when the harsh wind blows.

Sometimes in life, we stumble upon something precious without us knowing it.

I'm lucky to stumble upon something that is greater than my life itself; You.
You. You are the most important fragment in my life which fills all the holes and gaps that life leaves behind.
You. You are the essence that makes my life perfect without holes and gaps that life leaves behind.
You. You make my life perfect and worth while to live in.
You. You are my life.

It took me a while to be myself again or i will never know that i will. Day after day, i feel this warmth that surrounds me before. Its becoming clearer. It grows day by day. It is sometimes unbearable to feel (in a good way). You've accepted me the way i am, the way i was. You choose to love me when i am a jerk. You choose to love me when i am a dork. You choose to love me when i push you away. You have the strongest will and power. You.. You are one perfect creation of God. You. You are just perfect.

I.
I sincerely Love you with all my heart. ♥

Sleep tight honey.
I miss you.

HD

Control

2012-05-22T15:40:00.003-04:00

Good Evening Ladies and Gents,

Play the song above to get in the mood :P

To me the movie "The Next Three Days" about is about taking control of your life.
John did mentioned in his class "...what part of our life is truly under our control?" John took control of his life at the end of the movie but the authority that demands control will always try to eliminate people like John who just wants to be free from the Hamster Wheel of Life :) People who wants to take control of their own life will always be an outcast when they HAVE the control.

Finally, after a while i'm in a mood to blog on something.
On something which is called "Control"
Before i start, let me ask you this, do we have control in our life?
Are we in charge of everything?
Are we?

Since the existence of human being, we spend most of our time to take control of our life.
Take control.
We spend a lot of time to organize our life. We build clocks, calenders and try to predict everything, birth, weather, shares and a lot more.
But which part of our life are TRULY and SOLELY under our control?
For instance, our pay are controlled by the person in charge.
The universe are controlled by the higher power.
Heh, our nation are being controlled by politicians.

We are choosing to live in a reality of our own making.
We try to create our own reality in the world where we can never have control on.
Does this trait in humans making everyone insane?
Trying to be on top of everyone. Trying to take control of the nation. Trying to monopolize the business. Trying to be on time. Trying to skip the traffic. Trying to take control... OF OUR OWN LIFE!
Its not wrong. Not at all. Of course we want to have control over everything. That world will be a very beautiful world without worry, hesitation and tolerance; we can throw away "HOPE" into the burning fire of Hell. Kick that shit away. No use of HOPE if the world is under our control.

Ask yourself now,at this very moment, can you control your world? your reality in the making?
Could you? Can you?

In my point of view, there is nothing that we can control. Nothing. There's too many possibilities!
Too many variation of possibilities. 1% chances - 100% chances to 100000000% chances on one possible outcome. ON ONE POSSIBLE OUTCOME. We are talking about moving a JUST a SINGLE muscle on our body. Just one step to do something there's THOUSANDS of possible outcome. The minute our brain emits some chemical to process them to lead them to our muscle to move them to make our coffee. Anything can happen. Our brain stops working. Our muscle cramps. The cup is cracked. The coffee is stale. The machine mechanism does not work. Our colleague bumps into us. Our muscle tore. A LOT, INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.
Therefore,
To control is to eliminate any kind of UNWANTED possibilities. Agreed? The dictionary should change their definition yes? The definition in our dictionary nowadays are too specific to a certain situation.

We can't have control really in this deteriorating reality. Well, except our feelings, mind and attitude to the situation that we perceive we can control.

Change our attitude, surround yourself with positive feelings and set your mind to LIVE A GREAT LIFE! :)
When things does not bode well, well its not in your control. Take a hit and move on! Taunt your life to hit you and TAKE THEM with a smile.
Leave them behind and try something new. Do not worry or hesitate because we DO NOT HAVE CONTROL no matter how much we try. We are just a human being. A human being. Only the divine power has control over everything.

Live your life like there will be no tomorrow. Love your life more. Love it.
Love the positive and negative parts of your life. Its A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE where nobody can feel it except YOU! Life give you shit, YOU SMILE! :)

Hopefully, everybody will smile more after reading this.

Lots of Love!
Cheers!

HD

Busy

2012-02-02T12:53:00.000-05:00

Currently, we are pretty much occupied all the time.
Most of the time we will be discussing on what is our business plan and etc..
Well, my attention span won't last long.

Sorry hun and thanks for having a very huge patience.
So, there's nothing big to update but our opportunity for this year is very promising.

Let's hope for the best and all the best to you out there.

Cheers!

HD

Schranz

2011-12-14T13:37:00.000-05:00

Its been a while since i could hold my head up high. hahaha..
NO thats not it.

Actually, its been a while since i listen to Schranz!
Industrial piece of shit.. claimed some people...

But yeah industrial kind of sound. Kinda.

Sounds like you are riding an awesome TRAIN! :D
Believe me.

HD

Goofy. Rest In Peace My Dear.

2011-10-29T02:02:00.003-04:00

After nearly a month fighting with kidney failure.

Goofy.

At 12.40pm 29th October 2011, she left us for a better place.
She has been in and out of the vet.
The last time she went to the vet, the doctor told us that she has 1-2 weeks left.
I told Goofy to wait for my mom to come back from NYC.
She did...
She understood what i said.
She was fighting like.. she just doesn't wanna go yet.
She can't drink and we have to jab her with water everyday.
Until last night.. it shattered me seeing her condition.

I told my mom that she is waiting for you to come back.
My mom messaged me to tell Goofy that she loves her.
I shed tears when she told me that.

I told Goofy that its alright to go.
Mama said she loves you.
Its alright to not wait for mama.
Approximately, 12hours after that, my siblings and i were right beside her, to be with her for her last breath.
That just made me burst in tears.

After 9 - 10 years, she lived with us.
Since she was born. :(
She is a part of this family. She is like my younger sister.
Years! Our joy and our tears.
:'(

I'm sorry Goofy for my wrongdoings.
I'm sorry if i didn't take care of you properly.
I'm sorry if i made you stay longer.
I'm sorry if it hurts for you.

Look at her. She was alright in the pic.
She was sooooo close to us all.
She likes to jump and sleep on us.
and she purrs.
She was the most girliest among her siblings and cousins.
She likes to groom herself every time.

I miss you already Goof Goof :'(

I will always remember you and I love you soooooo much!!

Thank you for being a part of our life.

You will always be in our heart.

Rest in Peace Goofy. I love you and i miss you already and i sayang you.

I will see you soon :)

HD

ROCK BOTTOM

2011-10-19T15:33:00.000-04:00

Rock Bottom.

I know that today i reached my rock bottom.

It has been 4+ months since i started doing business..

Today, marks my lowest point.

Wow.

It wow-ed me till i can't think at all.

I got screamed in the public!

I was waiting alone for him and he came by with his right hand man.

My business partner has some other chores to do.

His son came during the screaming session.

I was like NO.. NO.. NOOO not in front of his son..

It went like this..

We were having a drink and when i told him what's the problem really was which apparently not a problem to him! WTF!

We are just taking precaution but then he has other plans which WE DID NOT KNOW!

Why cant you focking tell us? That everything will be okay even though our paper work or licence is NOT SUFFICIENT! FOCKING SHIT!

He asked me question that is very vindictive.

As if he wants to hear what he wanna hear.

With his loud voice. When i didnt say a word.. awkward silence between us which makes me blurt out STOOPID answer..

My mentor screamed at me. With his angry eyes.

He said he will pull off all the projects that we have.. :(

And he told me that do not come and see him again.

Now, he is my ex-mentor then.

Sigh, that was sad.

It was unintentional fault.

I didn't know it was wrong.

I was embarrassed like seriously very.

I guess it was never meant to be.

I felt relieve, really.

I know that doing business with him is going to be tough.

I dreamed about this before. I know its going to happen.

Out of all days, it happened today.

Which tomorrow, our first project will be awarded to us. :"(

Now, its gone in the midst of the FECKING AIR.

Now, we are back to square one.

Its okay :)

As much as i love the challenge, i'm very frustrated that my mentor just left me that way..

In front of his right hand man and HIS SON!

OH GAWD!

I survived that hellish and agonizing and suffering moment.

Never again.

NEVER AGAIN I WILL LET MYSELF BEING PLACED IN THAT SITUATION!

NEVER!

Putting my shit back together for a glorious day tomorrow!

Soft Side

2011-10-18T16:53:00.001-04:00

Listening to Dustin O'Halloran

Woke up from my sleep thinking about her

This post is dedicated to my lover who loves me like i am the only guy in the world.

Good Evening to all my respected readers,

I've learned that to blame the external causes proves that nothing good comes from it.

I've learned that forgive and forget is very powerful and strengthening.

I've learned that other people may experienced more hellish situation than me.

To begin with.

My soft side..

My long gone soft side..

My soft side went for a trip for a very long time until recently they decided to come back.

My soft side hid under the hard shell of rage and anger.

My hard shell of bastard-ness has been smashed by you.

You did it, little by little.

Until you touched them..

Your supple love just glistened with nectar of life.

Your Love

Is simply magical

You,

I just want you to know that you've changed me.

You've changed me into a better person.

A person who learns how to reason.

Reason on how to be a bigger entity.

An entity that i never dreamed of being together.

When we first laid eyes at Pennsylvania Hotel when you were at NYC for a holiday.

A person that shows a lot of "dont mess around with me" kinda aura.

I never knew that you will be my significant other.

I've always noticed the chemistry we had and have though.

Ahaa. :)

Tonight. I really miss you.

On the webcam, sleeping beside me.

I have that void that i have not feel for such a long time.

The void that only you could fill it up with your laughter and your beautiful eyes and more.

This void causes a heartache that i thought i will never be that soft to feel it.

Oh, im wrong, im so wrong.

You've showed me how to love again.

How to love you more!

How to love.

*sigh*

Looking back.. its such a long and agonizing journey for me.

and i've caused a lot of pain to other people too.. which i completely detest!

You took my hands and showed me the way..

to the brighter side.

Illuminating. Certainly.

You,

I just want you to know that i miss holding your hands..

I just want you to know that you are my life.

My world revolves around you.. well most of the time LOL.. without the PS3 yeah...

Just kidding.

My world do revolves around you.

Usually, when i play my game, i have you around...

but now, i don't even want to touch it..

Sayang,

Over the couple few days. i am a little bit emotional and mellow. I'm sorry.

I can't remember when was the last time i really look into your eyes..

Just look at you.. holding your hands, side by side..

and say that I Love You.

Baby, I miss you a lot.

Come back fast! :)

Come back really fast.

I need you here with me.

Hamster Wheel

2011-09-25T14:37:00.000-04:00

Hello there boys and girls,

It has been a while since i last posted a new post here in my blog :)
Im very happy to tell you that ive left the company for a month now and IM OFF the hamster wheel.
Im doing business on my own now and it is great :)

I have a very supportive partner but sadly she will join me soon because of our financial status will be strong with her help.
Im trying to change my negative attitude into a very positive attitude.

T Harv said "My inner world creates my outer world"
Will change my roots to get great results not only good but GREAT!
Yes and YES!

We are currently venturing in many types of businesses such as Construction, Information and Communication Technology (ICT), Event Management, Printing, Training, Trading, Lighting and Green Technology. We got great supports from our parents and friends.

I am encouraging my friends and family to become an entrepreneurs!!
Im happier than before! I love it! I love the challenges :)
I love my partner which is my business partner too! :)

If you need more information please visit our page.
http://www.facebook.com/TYHResources
We will create our logo soon :)

Cheers!
HD

This will be..

2011-07-18T12:50:00.002-04:00

Hopefully, this will be my last task at this company.

Will be resigning soon..

and hopefully, yeah.. we will see.

Been preparing a lot for the exhibition this coming wednesday.

Logistics, display item, booth, VIP, dinners, reservations... bla bla bla blaaaaaaa

Its been over 2 months for the preparations.. well of course, aside other jobs, not to mention the hellish ad hog jobs...

I'm being treated like a robot.

I wont be one. Will be running away from the hamster wheel!

All the best to me!

LMAO

2011-07-09T22:37:00.002-04:00

Let's Munch An Orange

Life

2011-07-09T14:27:00.003-04:00

Life.

What is the first thing on your mind when it comes to life?

The thing that you're thinking, that's the main goal of your life.

Or maybe not. Just saying.

Life.

There are ups and downs.

Someone told me that whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

Live you life.

Be sad, Be happy, and so on..

Yeah of course.

Life has crossroads.

Sometimes our life's crossroads is the same as someone else's

Thats when you meet them..

Sometimes, you will walk together with them for a long time and when it comes to another crossroad, .. that's when it hard..

Hard to say goodbye.

Hard to see your friend or whoever that is chooses another road.

Hard, it is hard..

But life goes on.

Its been a while since i blog, so my structure.. is not there. hopefully you know where im coming from.

wait... i never had structure before in my blog. LOL

Let continue!

And sometimes... only happens rarely...

You will have somebody to walk together till the end of days.

That's when you dont have to worry to stop by at other crossroads.

Because you know, the next road you will choose, there is someone beside you.

Life can be hard sometimes.

Life shows you that you're human.

Life add spices to your life.

Life is ALIVE.

To tell you the truth.. ive lost my point.. shit...

but whatever it is, for those who are sad out there.. remember!

that there's always something good awaits you... maybe not around the corner..

but they are coming.. TIME is important..

TQ lads.

Cheerios!

Work

2011-07-01T08:17:00.001-04:00

Work

Or what ever you wanna call it.

BDM just checked in to our office.

Not liking it at all.

Im supposed to be the BDM!

Not him!

damn it

Gonna see whats up.

Boring tul.

Fights

2011-06-29T13:04:00.002-04:00

Im getting too old for this.

I will keep quiet if i have nothing to say

My mouth only know how to fuel the fire

and my anger just add dynamite to it sweet huh?

I dont know what to do now.

To even think about it.. it makes me mad

I dont even know what is it about anymore..

weird fuck

Stevens Reunion!

2011-05-22T10:39:00.003-04:00

Just got back from my alma mater's reunion!

My third reunion with my Stevens family actually.

Our alumni is really active with events.

and i can only turn up to few of them.

We went to Mid Valley to try out the new Laser Tag thingy.

hahahah funny, in New York we didnt wanna try it but in Malaysia yeah we do wanna try it..

Nevertheless, it was fun!!

ahahha we kick asss!!

Camping and shooting the little buggers cheating shit! :)

I managed to get the high score for one of the session! Hihihihi!

We managed to catch up on our working jobs and stuff.

As usual, Apok with his funny and witty words ahahaha.. using all the cliche words at work..

like liaise, shall, procurement and more

I miss them so much!

The fun stuff that we shared during my 4 years life at the States!
Our successful seniors!

One of them is the MD of her own company! wow.. hebat!

And all of them is SOMEONE at their respected offices.

I think Stevens has a very good breed of alumni.

Hopefully it will continue on as we are adding more members each year.

As the self proclaimed Social Chair of Stevens MASA Alumni, Im happy that we still make time to see each other and have fun together. :)

Cheers!

The Land Before Time

2011-05-09T09:16:00.002-04:00

I'm listening to one of The Land Before Time soundtrack.

To tell you the truth, James Horner is a good composer.

Fecking awesome.

Well, im not gonna talk about that movie.

What is time?

Time?

According to the dick-tionary: A nonspacial cunt-inuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future..

...........

fuck this is boring.

Apparently, Najib introduces 1ASEAN?

LOL!

I hate to say this buttt... TOLLLDDD YAA!!!!!

I FUCKIN TOLD YAAA!

FUCK its true. damn it.

So theres nothing we can do now huh?

damn it.

NWO is coming.

Brace for it.

On the other hand...
Last week, she and i was out with our new found friend from Swiss..

well actually he is our client.. but not a client anymore.. a friend.

He knows about us..

We brought him around and shit..

not only him, but I DISCOVERED NEW PLACE IN KL!
LOL!!!

Enough bout that.

Im still regretting that i missed my friend's wedding!
FOR FUCK's SAKE!!! FUCK!!!

URGH! cannot forgive myself

The thing is.. on Saturday, i was out with my family.. relaxing.. not doing any shit..

till the night comes.. where we celebrated mother's day. and then straight away i picked my swiss friend up and when to zouk and changkat.

FUCK MAN! FUCK!

I was planning to bring him along on sunday because I TOT THE FREAKING WEDDING IS ON SUNDAY!!!!! :(:(:( SHIT!

damn it.damn it damn it damn it damn it!!

On Sunday, we brought him to Bukit Bintang aand there's a freaking nice bar at the top of LOT 10! LOL! i dont know that.

wow! i never thought KL is that beautiful! :)

fuck. enough of this.

im hungry and grumpy.

for fuck sake

fucking stupid title with a fucking stupid post.

Good fucking job.

fucken fuck.

fuckkooss!