Shine Again

Spring

2014-04-28T15:27:00.001-04:00

It has been a long, snowy winter and spring is a welcomed sight. It seems as though the trees and gardens are even delayed in waking up from their long winter's nap.

After the summer drought in 2012 I dug up all of my flower beds, tried to rebuild the soil, and gave them a rest. I am looking forward to getting back to rebuilding them and enjoying one of my favorite hobbies.

Happy Thanksgiving

2013-12-03T21:44:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday of the year. There's nothing better than gathering together with friends and family for the sole purpose of gratitude. I love looking back over the year, seeing the faces around the table and realizing all of the experiences and journeys each person has taken since we had last sat down at the Thanksgiving meal. Some changes are obvious while other are internal. There is no guarantee that each story is "happy", with a perfect ending, but there's no doubt that God is at work in each life and the footprints of his faithfulness can be realized.

Happy thanksgiving to all! Here's a few snapshots of our various 2013 festivities. Get ready for picture overload.

According to Lydia, "Pie is art."


The fruit of our labor

Oldest and Youngest. The bestest of friends.

Lydia and Joseph

My baby girl, Rebekah.

Smile!

Oh, my.

Youngest girls and friends:)

Getting ready for the Turkey Shoot

Cousins. Just a slight family resemblance.

Black Friday window shopping

Aunt Julie and Levi

Barbara adoring the noodles

Cousins. Wow.

V and Chris

Doing the post dinner dance

Betty Gobble sporting the boa.

Egg Launch success

Vanessa, like the guard in the wizard of Oz:)

I think this about sums us up

Grace

2013-11-16T17:20:00.003-05:00

I remember distinctly a few years ago really struggling with letting other people invest in my children. We have always been surrounded with loving grandparents and supportive family, so I always felt that we had just the perfect situation.

Perhaps it had to do with being a home school family for 13 years before really branching out and sending the children out "on their own". (I'm using that term loosely.) We definitely were not the homeschoolers that never went out or denied our kids opportunities. Our kids have always been active outside the home, but I always cringed just a bit inside when one of the kids made a new "best" friend or became involved in an activity outside of my reach.

Writing that down makes me sound ridiculous, I realize, but truly for such a long time their world was my world and vice versa. That was our reality. But, as it must be, they've grown. Now it seems I have to schedule a time with my highschoolers to "hang out" with them. It's been a series of letting go little by little and really trusting in God to be their guide and teaching me to remain consistent and not to allow my insecurities to micromanage them.

The other night, one of our daughters, Hannah, was desperate to talk with me after school. She retold of how the mom of her best friend had called her into the at school (she works there) and through tears apologized. This is a family that welcomes Hannah to their dinner table several times a month, has her over to study and takes her on family outings. The entire family has expressed such genuine hospitality and love towards her. She had been over to their house a few weeks ago and witnessed a conflict that had occurred in the family. Nothing terrible, just one of those moments that we all have when we are trying to get out the door on time. It happens that our daughter since that particular night has been very busy and not been around them much.

This dear mom was convicted by the whole situation and was concerned that Hannah's absence was because of this scene (which she barely remembers by the way). She had prayed about it and wrestled with it and out of love for our daughter felt the need to confess and set things right. With tears she confessed all of this and asked for forgiveness. What an impacting moment, one that she will never forget.

Wow. What a blessing to know that Hannah has a woman such as this to look to. What a confirmation to me that God is using others to affect her and teach her about relationships outside our immediate family. I see the Lord's goodness and realize that I can loosen my grip a bit more. He's got her.

Changing Seasons

2013-11-06T09:47:00.000-05:00

Life is good. Life is full. Life is ever changing. I think that about sums it up. Having an upperclassman, a first grader and everything in between fills our days with lots of activity and lots of different areas of growth and change. Each day is a gift. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Our yearly family picture at the park.
Here's some of past pictures- 2006, 2007, 2008,
Not all of them are posted to the blog, I'll have to dig the and see if I can find more.

I've been loving to spend more time with Elizabeth and getting to know her better now that she's the "oldest" at home during the day.

This pretty much sums up how they feel about their dad.

This is how they "normally" act.

Hannah, almost 17.

This is a retake of the same pose a few years ago. Interesting to see the changes.

That's John. Still working on smiling;)

Lydia enjoys being the life of the party.

The Ninja among us.

Always the daddy's girl and he loves it.

Alike in so many ways.

Little Blessings

2013-01-11T15:31:00.002-05:00

January 11, 2013

I'm trying REALLY hard to be disciplined in my spending. In October I put myself on a pretty strict budget for our consumable items. $125 a week for grocery/household purchases. $80 a week for gas for our two vehicles and $20 spending money on whatever (this usually spills over into grocery spending or going out to eat.) When people hear this they usually gasp in disbelief. Is it easy? Not always, but it is possible.
I have become quite proficient at being able time the manager's specials at our local Kroger: Monday-Bread, Wednesday- Meat, Friday- produce, dairy and dry goods. I only go to the store once a week, so I try to alternate the days so I can stock up and those $.25/ loaf breads or those 40% off packages of meat and stick them in the freezer for the following month.
I've also started using coupons again. It's by far a tedious task that I often assign to my children to organize, but it really is worth it in the end, especially on toiletries and household goods. Since I'm not at all brand loyal, coupons make all the difference. I've been tracking my coupon saving for a while and usually save $50 a month using them. Worth the time? Maybe not, but that is 10% of my monthly budget, so I'll take it. I hope to get more proficient this year with coupons, but only have limited time to devote to them.
Perhaps my favorite way to save is by shopping at a scratch and dent grocery downtown. They have a large variety of items that changes regularly. The large majority of it is organic and all natural grocery items. They also carry gluten free convenience foods and mixes for a fraction of the regular cost. It's a half an hour drive and I inevitably get lost every single time, but I always come home two hours later thankful for the blessing of such a valuable resource for our family.
Just to show you the value. Today I took the kids and purchased all these items for $94:

Three boxes of all natural fishy crackers (12 indiviually wrapped packages in each)
2 gluten free pancake mixes
6 boxes of gluten free mini chocolate chip cookies
20 small lunch sized bags of kettle chips
20 frozen Bosco breadsticks
12 frozen ball park microwave bun/hotdogs
1 huge can of organic diced tomatoes
2 bags of pumpkin granola
3 boxes of kashi instant oatmeal
2 bags of huge chipotle sandwich wraps
4 bags of small soft tortilla shells
6 boxes of organic chicken broth
3 boxes of Little Debbie Snack Cakes
6 pounds of organic no salt butter
2 bags of candy
2 boxes of wine crackers
2 boxes of Glutino crackers
2 boxes of Hodgkin's Mills organic
2 boxes of tea
4 boxes of Starbucks mini vanilla scones
3 bags of organic corn tortilla chips
2 bags of gluten free soft tortilla

Yes, a lot of these are convenience foods, but they are saving me a bundle. We pack around 20 lunches a week. I figure that if I would go and buy all this at regular price I would spend well over $500. I thank God for little blessing such as these that continually remind me of His provisions for our every day lives.

If you live in the Indy area check out Angelo's. Trust me, it's worth the trip.

Be all there

2013-01-04T09:24:00.001-05:00

January 2, 2013

I spent a few hours this morning at a Starbucks talking with a friend about the challenges of homeschooling, training, chores, various curriculum, special needs, expectations, challenges.... I'm often drawn into these conversations and remember clearly the years when I would wake up in a sweat and seriously question whether or not I was doing the best for my children in homeschooling. After trying not to hyperventilate, I would attempt to fall asleep praying, but not often having even the right words to express my heart.

I'd like to assure you that it's going to be alright. A child which is provided with one-on-one instruction every day for school in their elementary years and allowed to read to their heart's content is going to get what they need to succeed. Being by their side, you are going to see the missing gaps of understanding. You are going to have plenty of time for them to master what they need to know. You are forming and shaping their character by daily living it out before them even though you don't have the hour you had hoped to focus on that character building lesson or read three chapters of the Bible. They are watching. They are learning. They are getting it, even though you don't see the end product right now.

What's the key?
Be there. Be all there.
Not on your phone.
Not paying bills.
Not cooking dinner.
Not reading facebook.
Not sending texts.
Not watching the clock.
Not serving the curriculum's schedule or demands.
Not checking boxes.

This is easier said than done. Life is hectic and overwhelming. Without multitasking how is it all ever going to get done? I'm guilty of doing each of these things (well, not the texting, I still haven't taken the leap there) and done a great disservice to children in doing so. When school time is focused on me, then they suffer.

More than that, there are countless opportunities each day when the books are closed that growth and development are in full swing. No, I never had the time to go through a character development curriculum with them despite all good intentions. I never had the ability to take the kids to the craft classes at the library. I used to feel major guilt and remorse about this until the day I realized that each moment at home is that opportunity. Embrace these moments before they pass.

What's the key?
Let them follow you around.
Let them ask "why?"
Let them try to do something hard or beyond their years, even if it's not perfect.
Let them hear about how you are not perfect, mistakes you've made.
Let them get their hands dirty and make a mess.
Let them listen to you tell stories.
Let them see you listening to their stories. Stop what you're doing and look them in the eye.
Let them hear "yes" (especially when it involves making a mess)
Let them pretend and take the leading role once in a while.
Let them talk. Ask them questions about themselves. Then ask them more questions until they run out of words to say.
Let them follow through with an idea, even if it's an inconvenience.

Certainly each child has their quirks and very unique challenges to learning and life. Some are quite evident and others not so much. I couldn't speak wisdom into much of what my friend was sharing, but one thing was clear. This mom was passionate about her son. She's going to figure this out and he's going to thrive under her loving care. The amazing thing is that God has specifically given each child to each mom to teach, mold and shape in only the way she can. Mom and kids- we were made for each other.

Giving Thanks

2012-11-22T19:22:00.000-05:00

I found myself with big tears running down my face this morning when John climbed up into my lap for an extended morning hug. I think I could have held on forever. As his sweet little hands patted me on the back again and again, my mind was turning over and over again of the realness and magnitude of God's grace and His expression of it in everyday life.

Not every day is exciting and some are just plain hard. Not every struggle or conflict is instantaneously overcome, most are, in fact, painful. Not every moment is full of success, but time marches on and there's another opportunity to try it yet again. In the midst of all that can be tiring and rigorous and stretching in the dailiness of life, grace does abound.

God is at work. He gives comfort, companionship, answers, endurance, provision, direction....His presence.

He's given us a table and food for it day by day.

He's given me these seven children, each individual, each with their own unique lives, to teach me more about how to serve and pour out unconditional love. And when I think I have nothing left to give, God supplies what is needed for me to be their mom. Each day with them is a gift.

He's given me a soul mate who loves me through each day and never stops leading even when it's tough.

He's given me support through my big crazy family who are always there to help at a moment's notice offering a prayer, a practical help, a cup of tea or just a word of encouragement.

He's given me parents who continue to love and support me even at age 40 and He's provided them a home now in their semi-retirement only 10 minutes away.

He's given me life long friends and special times away to reconnect and be refreshed.

He's given me Christian fellowship and the faithful teaching of His Word week by week which remind me and teach me again the sure promise of salvation.

He's given me health and time to enjoy to the beauty found even in the smallest things.

With the abundance of His Grace I am overwhelmed.

It's not about me

2012-05-10T21:34:00.001-04:00

Okay, seriously? Where did this school year go? It's been a busy and full nine months. Two kids in school. Five kids in homeschool. Deadlines. Activities. Games. Projects. Successes. Disappointments. Failures. Frustrations. Firsts. Transparency. Breakthroughs. Laughter. Secrets. Togetherness. Tension. Hugs. Life.

There is not one word that could sum all that I've learned this school year. Yes, I did finally master all of the states and capitals and can now diagram about any sentence you put in front of me. (Even homeschool moms have a lot to learn.) My real growth, however, has been in realizing that being a mom isn't all about me.

I've spent many hours on my knees these past months just begging the Lord for wisdom. Where do we set the boundaries? How can I respond in love, yet with the truth? What do I do with my own fears of failure? How do I face of the reality of the fragility of our teens?

In a few short years, they will be out on their own. What will our relationship be when that day comes?

I believe that the answer to that questions has to do with my responses, words and actions towards them today. They aren't young children to be micromanaged, dressed up in matching clothes, scolded and set aside for bad behavior, expected to silently nod or perform for others at a moment's notice.

No, they are young women. Thinking, growing, ever changing young women who are formulating their beliefs about who they are, what they believe and who the will ultimately love and serve. Their journey is their own.

Though, their struggles and triumphs really aren't a reflection of me as a mom, I've come to realize that I still play an important role. I'm neither in the center of it, nor am I a just on the sidelines. My position is precarious and confusing. I have learned (by default, I might add) that my slightest reactions, words, or actions speak volumes into their lives. My availability to listen empathetically when I'm tired or frustrated, my willingness to engage them through conversation when I would rather lecture, my commitment to follow through with discipline with a heart of discipleship.... these will cultivate the young women emerging before my eyes.

God, give me the grace to realize every day that it's not about me.

Reflections on 40 Days of Juicing

2012-04-03T09:07:00.003-04:00

I set out the day after my 40th birthday on a journey of unexpected consequences. I determined to juice for 40 days. Many people asked me what program I was following. Well, in typical Monica style, I was developing my own along the way. I had watched several documentaries about the positive effects of juicing and read a few books. I thought that it would be a reasonable way to take hold of some less than desirable eating habits, clear my thoughts and initiate my way into the next phase of life.

I exclusively juiced for the first 10 days and drank only water ( and chewed on a lot of ice chips). The next 10 days I added a green smoothie that included at times greek yogurt. I also allowed myself protein in the form of eggs or raw peanut butter each day. The last 20 days I juiced two meals a day and ate raw foods for the last meal.

Was this a waste of time? No.
Was it hard? At first, yes.
Was it expensive? No, in fact I saved money.
Do I regret it? Not at all.
Would I do it again? Absolutely.

I'm still digesting (ha!) all that I've learned, but here are a few of my reflections:

1) Food is overrated. Juicing made my mind so much clearer and the energy I received from juicing went a lot farther. I had no afternoon sugar slumps or stomach aches that I often get from eating food or difficulty falling asleep at night.

2) I realized that I had some sort of weird addiction to food when I woke up the second night after juicing and had a panic attack. The fact that I had not eaten (though I had ingested plenty of calories for the day) just about sent me over the edge. Weird.

3) There is nothing sweeter and more satisfying than natural fruit juice. After having real apple juice, a candy bar seems sickening.

4) The flavor and satisfaction of the taste of fresh vegetables and herbs is beyond anything I've ever experienced from food. My mouth is watering right now thinking about it.

5) I can prepare food for my family and sit down with them and enjoy a meal even if I'm enjoying something different. (There goes that excuse.)

6) Food has had the wrong place in my life. I've known this, but it became much clearer when I was unable to manipulate my diet to meet my emotional needs. These past forty days have been a particularly stretching time for me. Because I was not able to eat away my cares, I found myself running to the only One who could truly help me.

7) Despite popular opinion, there is a difference between eating 1400 of "whatever I want" and 1400 of juice or raw foods. In the last 40 days I've dropped 11 pounds without exercise or starving myself. Obviously, the composition of food is a huge factor in health and weight loss. It's like my body is saying, "Thank you for caring."

8) I think I've finally found a way of eating that make sense to me, is truly healthy and sustainable.

I'll keep you posted.

Winter Wrap Up

2012-02-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

I've been without a computer to download pictures for a few months, so here's my attempt to catch up on life at our house this winter.

Our first and only pet, Samoa, celebrated her first birthday with a "carrot" cake and all.

Making Valentine's and Cookies

A warm fire and a little imagination. Rebekah and John are always making up games.

An indoor campout with neighbor friends

We've had hardly any snow, but I think Betsy gathered every last scrap from the yard to make these guys.

Remembering Grandpa

2012-02-21T22:12:00.003-05:00

Just two short weeks ago, we were saddened by the news of Sean's grandpa's passing. Though he had been ill for some time, his death was nonetheless a shock. I'm so grateful that myself and my children got to know him well through the years. We each have special memories of our own and it was such a delight to be able to share those together. I'll especially cherish the hours I spent being his "nurse" on various occasions, especially my last visit a few weeks ago that stretched into hours as I introduced him to the card game, Kings in the Corner, that I used to play with my grandpa. I think we played it for three hours. I grew up very close to my grandfather, who left a big void when he died when I was about 10. When I got married to Sean, Grandpa Ahart immediately adopted me as his own and always called me his granddaughter like I'd always been in the family. He will be missed.
Though it's been a sad at times, tears have been mixed with a lot of laughter and hugs as the family has gathered around the memories.

Turning Forty

2012-02-19T18:53:00.006-05:00

Today I turned forty.

In many ways it has been just like any other day: school, housework, grocery, dinner, a DVD....

In many ways it has been special: kind words from friends, a chocolate cake from my sister, little notes, big hugs....

I suppose for some that turning forty marks the half way point, so it must be all downhill from here. I see it differently. I've been blessed remembering all the many, many people that God has placed in my path along the way. There is much lifeyet to be lived and so many that I pray God will use me to bless in the coming years. More of Him. Less of me.

A dear friend reminded me of this song today. I think Keith Green's lyrics sum up what turning forty has meant to me.

Make my life a prayer to you
I wanna do what you want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise

I wanna shine the light you gave
Thru your son you sent to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know you're really there
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/k/keith+green/make+my+life+a+prayer_20077345.html ]
Chorus
Well I wanna thank you now
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say
Oh you're coming again
Coming to take me away

I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that set me free

I wanna tell the world out there
You're not some fable or fairy tale
That I've made up inside my head
You're God the son and you've risen from the dead

I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me

The love that set me free

Part of Me

2012-01-25T14:06:00.004-05:00

My kids have been reading through my blog this past week and enjoying themselves immensely. It's brought up a lot of memories, howling laughter and conversations between them. This is the first time ever that they've been independently interested in what I've written, yet I've been hit with a twinge of guilt. "Mom, why did you stop writing? You should have told about that one time.... I like hearing your voice on paper."

I know. I know.

I am a bit inspired, though, that this little blog is serving the purpose for which it was composed- to give our children a bit of insight into our lives, relationships and history together while passing along my own thoughts and perspectives as God is changing me day by day. It makes me smile to think of the seven of them ten, twenty, even thirty years from now having these writings and pictures in a permanent record and at their disposal at any time. My smile grows even bigger when I imagine my grandchildren learning about their own parents as little boys or girls.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a co-worker who is an author. She was sharing about her passion for writing and how she answers the question, "What do you do?" Though she is a full time NICU nurse, she always responds, "I'm a writer." Writing is what flows naturally for her It is what she must do. It is what she most loves.

I found myself tearing up as I told her about how I have written since I was a child and used to enjoying keeping up a blog. My emotions surprised me. It was much the same feeling that comes over me when I think about playing the piano.

We live in a soundbite kind of world. Little bits of information here or there fill our days. No stories. No details. No time to put it down or take it in.

Perhaps it's time for that to change.

Learning to Be Mom

2012-01-09T13:52:00.002-05:00

I am currently reading Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller and in just one chapter I've been majorly convicted on many levels.

Perhaps one of my biggest challenges of the past year has been in how to parent our teenagers. I found myself in a cycle of frustration, disappointment and anger as we worked through some new and challenging issues.

Instead of dealing with the heart issues, I spent a lot of time asking questions like, "Don't you know better and this? You were not raised this way, were you?" I think that having homeschooled our children for so many years I (wrongly, I might add) feel responsible for and entitled to children who would 99% of the time do the right thing.

When things weren't going "my" way, too many times I responded hastily and in sin. I'm thankful for the grace we can give to one another, because we have ultimately been given grace by God.

As the conflicts have faded into the past, I have been reflecting on what I've learned about myself as not just a mom, but as a child of God. Just as I'm still learning what it means to be God's child, I have so much more to learn about what it means to love the children God has entrusted me to mother.

The book's chapter was about the idols in Abraham's life and his willing sacrifice of Isaac. Here are some excerpts from the book that specifically challenged me:

"I must be able to say, 'My desire for completely successful and happy children is selfish. It's all about my need to feel worthwhile and valuable. If I really know God's love- then I could accept less-than-perfect kids and wouldn't be crushing them. If God's love meant more to me than my children, I could love my children less selfishly and more truly.'"

When a child is an idol a parent:

Overdisciplines them/ Needs them to be "perfect"
Underdisciplines them / Can't bear their displeasure

Then the child fails to meet expectations the parent becomes angry, cruel or violent because of their disappointment.

"God's rough treatment of Abraham was merciful- until Abraham had to choose between his son and his God he could not see that his love was becoming idolatrous."

"If anyone puts a child in the place of the true God, it creates an idolatrous love that will smother the child and strangle the relationship. "

Intentional

2011-12-29T14:30:00.006-05:00

This is my word for 2012. Intentional. Being purposeful does not come naturally to me. I am an ideas girl who likes to make big plans and yet the follow through is often lacking. This can be an assest when flexibility is needed, but frustration arises when the day/month/year has past and all there is to show for it is a lot of could've/should've/would've.

Instead of my typical New Year's resolutions, I've instead set some specific goals in several areas of my life. These aren't just aspirations, but actions that can only be done with intention. I'll leave the end result to God.

Spiritual: Memorize Colossians 3. Join or lead a Bible Study for some portion this year. Read through the Bible with a 3 year plan.

Relational/Family: Write one hand written note per week and actually send it. Pray individually with each of my children once a week. Go on a "date" with each of the kids once a month (even if it is just going to the store together.) Show one intentional act of love to Sean each day in word or deed.

Financial: Establish a written, monthly budget. Balance the books each Saturday. Organize and collect coupons for shopping. Carry cash to pay for consumables (food, gas, misc, clothing, eating out...no debit card for these).

Social: Host one family a month for dinner. Blog once a week.

Physical: Move on purpose at least 20 minutes per day (even if just walking in the evening). Work out at the Y with Sean in the morning at least once per week. Avoid completely white foods (sugar, flour, rice, potato.... Sounds extreme, but I'm all or nothing when it comes to food).

Career: Read two books related to lactation. Attend one seminar or conference in my area. Complete my education requirements at work on time and attend 50% of staff meetings.

It looks like a lot, yet each could be achieved by simply being aware, being available and being willing to be intentional.

Recap

2011-10-19T09:32:00.003-04:00

Oh, how I wish I could blog again. I do miss sitting down with this old friend. It's not only therapeutic, but the best way I know of recording our lives. But, alas, life must be lived and little time or energy is left at the end of the day it seems.

So here's all that has transpired in these last few months:

1) We just finished our first 9 weeks of school. We are LOVING Classical Conversations and the depth and scope of the program. I already feel that the kids have learned more grammar (my weakness) in this first section than I would teach them in a year. I'm especially excited to see how this program plays out for my younger ones who will get the information up to six times over the course of grade school. The burn out on homeschool that I was experiencing at this time last year has dissipated. What an answer to prayer.

2) Having a high school student keeps me hopping! Hannah just finished volleyball season and begins 4 months of basketball next week. It is so rewarding to watch her spread her wings a little farther balancing heavy a academic load, new friends, sports, church activities.... Even if I'm just in the stands watching, I don't want to miss a thing! It's been painful at times, yet she's figuring it out. I'm so thankful for our relationship and that she remains open with us. Having her dad at school and as a teacher is just an added bonus. In fact, many nights we have to kick her out our room after talking so we can get some rest.

3) Lydia, too, is finding her way through 8th grade. We couldn't be more pleased with the school she is attending. The respect that is displayed there between students and teachers and visa versa is profound. We purposefully placed her where Hannah had not been. It's got to be hard being 13 months behind your sister and so completely different. We didn't want her to have to struggle with comparisons. She's working really hard and applying herself like never before. There have been a lot of tears, but also a lot of growth that could not have come otherwise. She even tried out for the volleyball team and had a great time!

4) My sister and I held our second consignment sale last month. There's something about having a business that I really enjoy. I love the planning and casting the vision for what is to come. More than that, though, I believe in what we are doing and am excited for others to benefit. Working closely with Barbara has only added to the blessing. We are a good team in that we are alike and different in just the right ways.

5) On the homefront, I feel like I'm loosing control of my house. Nothing new there. I began painting and rearranging the rooms downstairs. This has been an ongoing project which now leaves us with practically nothing to sit on and many other chores undone. Why is it that any extra home projects always spill over into chaos everywhere else? I'm rereading some books and looking for a routine to rein this mess in. I'm open for suggestions.

6) It's finally feeling like fall here. I'm going to my college reunion next week with my roommates and favorite girlies in the world. Can't wait! I'm also very much looking forward to this season of Thanksgiving and hosting our families again. God certainly has given us much to be grateful for.

First Day of Homeschool 2011

2011-08-10T13:31:00.007-04:00

We had a great first day getting organized and oriented to the year ahead. Our school is down to five now as Lydia will be attending a local private school for 8th grade. Being that this is my 10th year of homeschooling, we decided it was time for a change. The curriculum has become increasingly eclectic through the years and thus increasingly complicated for the teacher. Therefore, this year we will be streamlining and participating in Classical Conversations. We are blessed to already know many of the families in the group as friends. I think I'm the most excited since I know what great things are ahead!

In attempts to make our first day extra special, we started with cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Then we sat down and we came up with the "school rules". We each contributed one. Not much changes from year to year, but I always love the way the put things in their own words.

1. Don't cry. Either ask questions or get some help.

2. Don't interrupt mom.

3. Obey the first time.

4. Put away your books every day. If you can't find a book, you owe mom a dollar.

5. Ask for permission to use the school art supplies so they don't get lost. (That was mine:)

6. Drink a bottle of water while you do your school work.

Next, we brainstormed some snack and lunch ideas and field trips. We discussed the daily schedule, too. Though it can't be the same everyday, we strive for routines.

Since we are going to be referring to a lot of timelines this year, the kids made their own timeline of their life starting with their birth and spanning into the future. Here's what they created. I think I'll keep these precious papers for a very long time.

Miriam, 6th grade. She's not thrilled about being the oldest this year, but honestly I'm looking forward to spending some time with this special girl.

Elizabeth, 4th grade. I love the way that she thinks in pictures.

Joseph, 3rd grade. He even included the date for when pictures of Pluto will be transmitted back to Earth. Who knew?

Rebekah, 1st grade. How could my baby girl be a first grader already? She's so ready and very excited!

John, PreK. I love the picture of him being a doctor when he grows up. He loves to help people especially when they need a bandaid.

Finally, we spent some time making up our own, pocket sized dry erase assignment sheets. This will be just a quick check list of daily responsibilities on one side and school assignments on the other. They had fun picking out the clip art and fonts. It became a little lesson in computer skills.

Wings to fly: Finances

2011-08-07T12:08:00.003-04:00

How can it be that I'm a mom of a high school student? This seems nearly impossible since I, myself, just graduation from college. And yet, it is reality and I am actually excited to see what lies ahead as my older girls start to spread their wings. At the same time that Hannah goes to high school, Lydia will beginning a journey of her own. Her first school year outside of our home. They are ready and for once, I think I am, too.

When I consider that in four short years our oldest will be entering adulthood, I'm struck by all that still needs to be taught from our end as parents. We decided that the Freshman year we are going to be focusing on teaching our kids to budget, earn, spend, save and give wisely. The truth of the matter is that these things have to be learned through experience and practice with room for error. What a better place to learn that while still at home and early enough to get a firm grasp on it.

I can in no way take credit for this idea. I read it in a book last spring and thought it was brilliant. With some tweaking here's what we are doing:

1. We each made up a budget separately considering all of the out of pocket expenses that she incurs throughout the year beginning in August. Her catagories included: giving- tithe, gifts, clothing- necessities and wants, school- fees, supplies, lunches, sports- uniforms, camp fees, participation fees, game snacks, books, fun money. We encouraged her to research cost and try to think of every single thing that she might need money for and the real price.

2. We went out to lunch and had a "budget meeting" to compare. We had very similar categories and bottom line. After some small adjustments we signed it into agreement.

3. Sean and I are going to provide 80% of her budgeted needs in 2 payments (August 1 and January 1). She will be responsible to work, plan or readjust her budget for the remaining 20%. Each year of high school our provided percent will decrease and her responsibility will increase.

4. Now she is on her own to organize and keep track of where her money goes. We promised ourselves that we won't bail her out if she gets in a pinch. This will be a lot easier for me since at least I know that she has a roof over her head and food on her plate.

We've made it clear that although she has her "own money", we still are the parents and have the right to veto any purchase (specifically inappropriate clothing). Also, she has agreed to spend this money on the things specifically listed in her budget, so there will be no hoarding it back and then announcing a Spring Break trip to Florida. Truly, I wouldn't imagine these things happening. She is very sensible, but sometimes it is good to just get it all out there.

The younger kids have been watching this whole process carefully and are starting to take ownership. Miriam and Betsy are having some friends over for a sleepover next week. They went to the store with me to make out a budget of what they would need for rootbeer floats, crafts, candy, batteries for flashlights. They found some work to earn money and went back a few days later to make their purchases. They didn't even want me to walk with them in the store or help them through the checkout.

Overall, I'm looking forward to no unexpected costs creeping into the family budget, but yet I am also realizing I need to do some planning and extra shifts of my own. We are going to be shelling out a lot of cash here in the near future.

Home Again

2011-06-28T07:36:00.005-04:00

Someone mentioned to me this week that it takes half as much time as a person is gone from home to get back into the routine. What a true statement. We've been home from our vacation a week now and I'm still trying to put life back into the order. We got an unusually amount of rain while we were away and the yard, tree and beds resembled something from the amazon.

Vacation was in one word, WONDERFUL. It was worth every effort and sacrifice to get there, that's for sure. My favorite part by far was just being together. No outside obligations. No deadlines. No interruptions. No schedules to juggle. Just being us.

This trip was particularly meaningful to me as it is the last summer before our oldest goes to High School. Our family's schedule is about to go to places never before seen. Four more years and our first child will possibly be leaving home. Time is more precious now than ever.

It filled my heart to see all of the kids playing together and relating to each other in their own different ways. A walk on the beach. Digging together in the sand. Playing pool games. Riding bikes. Reading books aloud at night. Talking for hours in the back of the van. Laughing. I am sure that our youngest will remember this vacation as a special time with their older siblings.

Another highlight for me was when my parents visited for a few days. One of my favorite childhood memories was when my dad took in me in the ocean for the first time and we played for hours. He was like a kid out there, as side of him I hadn't seen and yet endeared me to him even more. Twenty five years later it was just as much a thrill for me.

My mom and I had time just to talk and talk and talk. I always learn so much from her about what it means to love my children, so I am always so inspired after I've had some time with her. It was a special treat to do our talking with the waves lapping at our toes and drinking iced tea while watching the kids play.

On the way home we enjoy the hospitality of Sean's long time friends and fellow math teachers, Jim and Jane. They live in Georgia on a beautiful lake, which the children enjoyed after 10 hours in the van.

Here's the last set of pictures from our trip.

Crafting

2011-06-14T20:42:00.006-04:00

The past few months I have enjoyed crocheting these hats for young girls and infants. I have not been pleased with any of my crocheted flowers and gave it up until now. I was inspired by some silk flowers I saw in a boutique and decided to create my own. What do you think?

2011-06-14T20:42:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth

2011-06-14T20:23:00.004-04:00

Elizabeth,

You can't be described in just a few words. From the day that you were born 10 years ago today you have shown yourself to be a girl who walks her own path. One would think that a girl who had three great older sisters would follow along in their shadow. But not you. You have your own style, your own ideas and an imagination that just keeps going. I love that about you.

Tonight as we ate your cake everyone shared what it is that they love about you:

Lydia: "Elizabeth is joyful. She always is smiling."

Hannah: "Betsy is friendly and always welcomes all people no matter who they are. She is also cheerful."

Joseph: "Elizabeth is wise. She always steps in when there is an argument and helps me get out of it. She my friend."

Rebekah: "She reads to me and likes to spend time with me and play with me. She makes my life fun."

John: "I like her hair and her face."

Daddy: "Elizabeth is friendly and smart. She brings others into our home and makes them feel welcome."

Me: "Betsy always thinks about others before herself. She's an example of living selflessly. She also is a quick learner and excited to learn something new and teaches her brothers and sisters."

Miriam: Well, Miriam just cried. Eventually she was able to say, "Elizabeth is my best friend and I love her so much."

I hope you know what an impact you've made on all our hearts in just these first ten years, sweet girl. Our lives are incredibly blessed because you are here.

I love you and can't even begin to imagine where God will take you in the next ten years. I can already see glimpses of a beautiful young lady shining through.

Love you, forever,
Mom

How we got here

2011-06-02T13:08:00.004-04:00

We just arrived in Cape Canaveral, Florida, to enjoy a three week vacation. We left as close to the end of school as possible and drove through the night to get here. I've been reluctant in many cases to tell people about our time away. Saying it seems a bit excessive. Three weeks? A family of nine? In a beach house?

Three years ago we were blessed with a similar opportunity through the Lily Teacher Fellowship. We never even conceived of such an idea on our own. As a long shot, Sean applied for this grant which would enable our family to live in Florida for a month, enjoy the local library and rec center, attend family Space Camp, explore Kennedy Space Center in detail and take in all the nature to our heart's content.

I think it is fair to say that experience redefined what vacation would mean to our family. Being able to stay in one location for an extended period of time allowed us all to step away from the pressures, busyness and dailiness of life to connect and grow closer together. At home our lives are very busy and if any of you know Sean and myself personally you know that the work never seems to stop. While we certainly did not lay on the beach everyday, but we did play together, explore and make memories. It was incredible.

Two things have happened since our last trip here, Sean has begun working for Texas Instruments traveling around the country providing instruction for other teachers. This means that much of the summer he is coming or going. No more lazy days of summer for this teacher. Secondly, we became serious about budgeting/saving with the intent that we could repeat our last trip on our own dollar. In fact, it was in the Cape Canaveral Library that I read Total Money Makeover for the first time and we laid out a plan to get out of debt. Please note that we aren't in a perfect place financially. It's a journey with many detours. But we were convinced with some ingenuity we could provide this vacation without incurring debt.

Knowing that this is the last summer for our family to be without a high school student (practices, jobs, camps, obligations,earning money for college...) and realizing that the youngest ones had no recollection of our last vacation together, we decided last August to start working and saving for a three week get away. Everyone was excited at the thought of returning to the same place. I thought that it would be a little easier to set aside the money, but found out otherwise in December when my hours at work began to be cut. Sean's extra work has become a necessity so we had to get a little creative.

Here's how we did it. I hope it will encourage you to dream big for your family and consider how you might work together to meet a goal.

1. We cut back on weekend trips and field trips this school year. No overnights in hotels- we just drive through the night.

2. We sold baked goods whenever we had a chance- garage sales, events at Sean's school, other people's garage sales.... (Actually, I think that my own kids probably raised half of the money themselves when I told them they had to pay $.50 like everyone else.) We used coupons and sales to buy premade cookie dough when possible to cut down on the cost.

3. We had a fall and spring garage sale. We earned several hundred dollars through these sales just from stuff we had around the house and really didn't use. We also sold our no longer used books/CDs/DVDs to Half Priced Books. A little bit here and there adds up over time.

4. We kept a jar and saved every bit of change we could. Last week we rolled almost $300 in coins.

5. We held "Babysitting Saturdays" at our home. This was a family effort in which we opened our home to kids from 4-7:30 on selected Saturdays, had a structured play time, craft and a light dinner. My younger children thought this was the best thing ever to have so many playmates over at once. I'm hoping the older girls continue this business on their own. It was a hit!

6. Sean had two regular tutoring jobs throughout the school year. We held back the checks and cashed them all right before the trip just to make sure the money didn't slip through the cracks.

7. We bought our gas on a gas card that gave a 5% rebate. I'm not a fan of credit, but I am a fan of rewards. As you can imagine, gas for a 15 passenger van is a huge expense.

8. We bought and cooked most of our meals in Indiana, froze them and hauled them in coolers. Prices are much higher here and it's a relief to know dinner is already made (from meat that I bought on sale.)

9. We cleaned houses. The older girls and myself put ourselves out for hire to do any job or project inside or outside. Usually the people had a list and we worked our way through it. We charged $30/ hour and stopped when we were told.

10. God provided- a generous thank you gift from a student's family, a bucket of change from a family member, gift cards, an unexpected refund check.

Was it worth it? I think the picture says it all.

It's so much fun to see the boys explore Kennedy Space Center. John really thinks that he is going to go up in a rocket.

White Walls

2011-05-01T17:03:00.003-04:00

I have just begun reading Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller have already been convicted of some hidden idols in my life that are hovering around in the corners. No, these are not small wooden icons or elaborate golden statues. These are the things, ideas, people and activities that I elevate to a place that is only the Lord's. I bow down to them with my affections, time, energy and hope. Many of these are seemingly harmless (oftentimes good) pursuits. Yet, No matter how I dress them up, when I have reserved for them the special part of my heart and mind that I've devoted to God, they are idols. Counterfeit gods.

Today in church our pastor told of his recent travels to Japan where he taught some theological classes there. One Japanese man was excited to share his conversion story. He told of the first time that he walked into a church. He stood and the doorway and was astounded by what he saw. It sent a chill down his spine and changed his life forever.

A white wall.

Ahead of him was a worshiping congregation of believers with nothing before them but a white wall. This man knew then that he had found truth.

Being from a background of Buddhism, idol worship was all that he had ever known. He knew enough to know that a mere statue could not save. His encounters with God had been littered with idols. This freedom from idolatry that he witnessed within the church was what led him on his road to Freedom.

When people see me I want them to see nothing but white walls. May there be nothing in my life to hinder the Truth from going forth.

I've got a lot of cleaning up to do and I'm only on the first chapter.

Tough Love

2011-04-25T11:40:00.003-04:00

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor. (Isaiah 61:3)

Watching our children wade through the murky waters of teens is difficult. They are not perfect, nor am I. They are searching for purpose, direction, and identity in a sea of peers, expectations, new experiences, youthful desires. Their thinking is not always logical. Their decisions are impulsive. Their emotions run ahead of them.

What do I do when what initially appeared to be a childish decision has become a consistent part of their character? Am I to blame for not being persistent or jumping on it sooner? Could I have pursued another route or have I failed to see the heart of the problem too late?

If they were a toddler, the answer seems obvious. Immediate consequences. Restoration. Try again. With some young children the lesson is quickly learned. With others the reinforcement day after day is required, but with consistency and unconditional love it is received in time.

I am not willing to let our teenagers raise themselves. The world would be more than willing to scoop them up and carry them along. But I will face the conflict and the hurtful looks if that is what it takes. I will be the bearer of unwanted discipline and wipe away the tears if that is what is required. I will stay up all night and pray and repent of my own sin as it glares back at me. I will trust and stand of God's promises of fruitfulness, peace and life for those who follow Him.

Christ did not leave me in my sin to please myself. He reached down. Called me. Saved me from myself. Walks with me through this life. Molds me. Shapes me. Disciplines me as only a Loving Father can. Restores. Redeems. Rejoices over me.

That's tough love. That's what I'm living.