Twinsomnia

Siri and Me

2012-01-26T10:58:00.000-06:00

So, I got an iPhone 4s a month or so ago from my work. I was so EXCITED. And one of the things I was the most excited about was having access to Siri, my very own personal assistant.

HOWEVER. Siri and I are having a bit of a personality conflict.

(It's not me, it's her.)

Like the other day, when I tried to call my parents.

Siri: What can I help you with?

Me: Call Mom and Dad. (This is how I have my parents' home phone listed in my contacts - MomandDad.)

Siri: Which mom? Mom or Mom and Dad? (Mom is my mom's cell phone.)

Me: Mom and Dad.

Siri: Which mom? Mobile or work?

Me: No, I said Mom and Dad.

Siri: Okay, Megan. Calling Mom, mobile.

Me: NO! (I hang up and try again.)

Siri: What can I help you with?

Me: Call Mom and Dad.

Siri: Which mom? Mom or Mom and Dad?

Me: Mom and Dad.

Siri: Would you like me to remember that Mom and Dad is your mother?

Me: Uh, yes.

Siri: Got it, Megan. Mom and Dad is your mother.

Me: Great. Call my mother.

Siri: Which mother? Mom or Mom and Dad?

Me: Oh.My.God.

Siri: I don't see "God" in your address book. Should I look for businesses by that name?

I think I might need to fire her.

Stop the Diem

2012-01-24T23:53:00.000-06:00

The boys have Kindergarten Round-Up tomorrow morning.

Um, WHAT!?!?!?

I may just skip town with them instead. If we keep heading west maybe they'll stay preschoolers forever.

It's Alive! Sorta.

2012-01-20T09:21:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am still alive.

You know the drill. Work has been kicking my arse. Also, I've finally accepted the fact that I cannot stay up later than 10:30 p.m., which is putting a crimp in my blogging time.

Maybe I will have to get up early and start writing in the morning. The horror! The horror!

Anywhoo, if you've missed me, you can check out a guest post I wrote for Nicole over at her new site, My Everything Else (she wrote formerly at Twins for the Show).

Go over, leave a comment, and let me know your user name if you want to play words with friends with me!! And follow Nicole while you're at it - her blog is awesome!

Political Incorrectness: It's What's for Dinner

2012-01-11T23:54:00.000-06:00

I called Scott the other day on my way home from work.

Me: Hey, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Scott: Fajitas.

Me: Ay yi yi yi yi yi yi! Awesome.

Scott: Were you just being Mexican or Indian?

Me: Uh, I am celebrating fajitas. Clearly I am being Mexican.

Scott: Well, it sounded Indian.

Me: What!? That was totally Mexican. Now if I was being Indian, I would have said Yi yi yi yi yi! See the subtle difference? One begins with an A and the other begins with a Y.

Scott: There is no Y in the Indian alphabet.

Me: Don't question my Indian knowledge, I am an expert on it.

Scott: Name two Indian tribes other than the Omaha and the Cherokee.

Me: That's easy - the Sioux and the Blackhawks.

Scott: One of those is a hockey team.

Me: Oh. Well, anyways, fajitas sound good.

I think I need to work on my culture awareness skills. And also my accents.

Greetings and Salutations

2012-01-05T23:35:00.000-06:00

So, Scott is a stay-at-home dad. Well, he was until we got a letter in the mail today addressed as follows:

His inner Neanderthal is offended.

It probably doesn't help that I bought him a t-shirt that says "Trophy Husband" on it for Christmas.

Christmas in Images

2012-01-04T00:30:00.000-06:00

Because it was all just a blur of wrapping paper, anyways. :-)

Hope you all had a lovely holiday season! Now on to 2012!

36 Things: The Finale

2011-12-20T00:11:00.001-06:00

Well, my birthday was on Sunday. Scott and I went out to celebrate on Saturday night and just had a disaster evening. I wanted to go out to dinner in this quaint part of town called the Old Market and then go see this movie I've been dying to see - Melancholia - at the arty movie theater downtown.

Well.

Apparently everyone, their brothers, their sisters, their mothers, their fathers, their in-laws, their third cousins once removed, their college roommates, their old girl scout leaders and everyone else within a 50 mile radius of my city decided to go to the Old Market that night too. Because of a little thing called Christmas, I guess, which has once again proven that it is WAY too close to my birthday. GOD, Christmas. You are so flipping rude.

Anyway, we couldn't find parking for forever. Then we finally parked like 10 blocks away. Then we were late for our dinner reservations. Then by the time we were done with dinner, we had missed the movie. And then I was melancholy for Melancholia. Heh.

Anyway, Scott decided to cheer me up on Sunday, my actual birthday, by insisting that we finish the rest of my 36 things list THAT DAY. I was like "You straight up crazy," because in my mind I had already granted myself an extension to the end of the year. But then I thought, what the hell, this will be fun!

So we went for it.

4. Wash my minivan: DONE!

Scott took it in for me, since I have carwash-a-phobia. It's not a fear of the car wash itself, but the driving INTO the car wash part. You know, when you have to get your tire lined up on the track just so. (I have depth perception issues. Don't judge - it's a serious medical condition. To me.)

5. Eat a lot of peppermint bark: DONE!

This one was done early in the day, while I was still melancholy.

6. Go out on a date with my husband: DONE!

Did this one the night before - see sad story above.

7. Learn a dance with Ashley: DONE!

With video evidence, I might add.

9. Write a short story: DONE!

Kinda. Does this blog post count? It's sort of like a nonfiction story. Whatever, I'm going with it.

12. Finish reading Wuthering Heights: DONE! ALMOST! CLOSE ENOUGH!

I got through the Heathcliff/Catherine parts, so I say I'm done enough for high school english class, anyways. (P.S. Isn't it funny how in old novels they use verbs like "ejaculated" instead of "shouted"? Heh. Emily Bronte, you dirty girl.)

13. Take Aidan out for a date: DONE!

We had a little oreo backyard date.

(I paid).

14. Take Owen out for a date: DONE!

Owen and I had backyard cheez-its.

Only the best for my babies. Shhh-don't tell them I'm two-timing them.

15. Buy some new shoes: DONE!

I bought the kids their Christmas shoes last week. Yeah, I know they weren't shoes for ME but looking at the language I used up there, I just said I had to buy shoes, not that they had to be for me. So there you go, law school diploma. Thank you for being useful.

16. Learn how to make my mom's almond cake icing: DONE!

This one was easy peasy. All it is is 2 sticks of butter, 4 cups of powdered sugar, a tablespoon of milk and a tablespoon of almond extract. Mix it and enjoy.

17. Take a family picture with all five of us in it: DONE!

My mom took this pic of us at our family Christmas party on Friday night. We're all looking at the camera! Holy crap, it's a Christmas miracle!

18. Go out for strawberry margaritas: DONE!

There's nothing like a frozen strawberry margarita at 2:00 in the afternoon. I should really make this a weekend tradition, I think.

20. Make another wreath: DONE! WELL, I STARTED IT! AND THAT'S GOING TO HAVE TO DO, PEOPLE!

21. Watch that "Once Upon a Time" show: DONE!

Actually, I watched three of these while I was making the above-mentioned wreath. I think I like it. It's kinda weird, but I like weird shows, so I'm going to go with it.

22. Make homemade macaroni and cheese: DONE!

Well, technically, Scott made it a few weeks ago. But I ate it, so I say it counts.

25. Wear false eyelashes AND 32. Go out wearing bright red lipstick: DONE and DONE!

Yeah, so I only went out on my front porch. It totally counts. Also, FYI - when buying false eyelashes, please make sure to also buy false eyelash ADHESIVE to stick the things on with. Otherwise you might be forced to stick them on with lipgloss, like I did. Nothing but class over here, ladies.

29. Drink hot chocolate with marshmallows in it: DONE!

Quite a few times, actually. What! It's cold here.

30. Slow dance with my husband: DONE!

Got this one checked off yesterday, no problemo.

31. Figure out how to display our family photos on the wall: DONE!

Did this one awhile ago too, just haven't gotten around to posting about it yet.

33. Eat sushi: DONE!

Had sushi takeout for dinner last night. In the immortal words of David Lee Roth, I wish they all could be California rolls.... Ba dum dum.

34. Plan a vacation: DONE!

Kinda. I "plan" to take a vacation this year. Close enough.

35. Rearrange the furniture in the living room: DONE!

I did this the same day I arranged the family pictures. Maybe one day I shall post about it.

ANNNNNNNNND, drum roll please!

36. Turn 36. And try not to cry about it: DONE!

Well, I might have cried a little. But not very much, because I was so dang busy yesterday doing all this stuff. Boy, that Scotty is a smart boy, is he not? I think I married the king of distraction.

Santa Claus is Coming to YOUR HOUSE!

2011-12-13T23:27:00.003-06:00

Santa came to my house on Sunday. Seriously, he did.

One of my friends bid on him at an auction type fundraiser thingy a few months ago. Totally legit, I swear. Anyway, she won, so Santa was required to come entertain her at a place and time of her choosing. And since she's awesome - and also because she probably didn't want to spend an afternoon having a cozy tête-à-tête with Santa - she decided to share him with all of our kids.

So my friends and I planned a little shindig for our families, but we didn't tell the kids that Santa would be coming. We said we were just going to have Christmas cookies and what not, whatev, no big deal. Oooh - Christmas subterfuge!

Anyways, we were all on the edge of our seats waiting for Santa to show up at 1:00 sharp. Well, my girlfriends and I were. Our husbands were all in the other room talking about sports or maybe cars or other boy stuff. Seriously, it was like a junior high party. The girls in one room, the boys in the other. Although come to think of it, the boys chose the same room that the Christmas cookies were in. Sneaky bastards.

The kids were all upstairs playing, so the plan was that Santa would just come on in, let out a "Ho Ho Ho!" and then the kids would appropriately FREAK THE EFF OUT. But unfortunately, I forgot that my house has windows. So they all saw Santa pull up in his car in the driveway. Oh well!

They were all still quite excited anyway, although Owen did ask me suspiciously "Mommy, where are Santa's reindeer?" I told him maybe he dropped them off at a farm to let them have a drink or something. What! I was under pressure.

Anyway, all of the mommies got out their cameras and totally flash stunned Santa when he came in the door.

But then he got comfy and settled down to business.

Ashley volunteered to go up to see him first. Shocker, I know. She said she wanted one of the bells from his sleigh - totally copped from Polar Express. Santa has apparently never seen Polar Express and sounded a little wierded out about her gift choice, so he talked her into a My Little Pony instead.

Owen was decked out in his Buzz Lightyear gear since it was ~~Halloween~~ ~~a special occasion~~ ~~Sunday~~ a typical day of the week. He asked Santa for slippers. Gotta teach that boy to dream a little bigger, no?

Aidan asked for the "fastest choo-choo train in the world!" Not sure where that came from. Last time I asked him what he wanted he told me a Light Bright, dangit.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun. My kids could not stop talking about how Santa "CAME TO THEIR HOUSE!!!!!!" Hopefully they'll be just as impressed when we see Santa again (different make and model) at my family's Christmas party this weekend. I'm a little nervous there may be a few questions about why Santa looks and sounds different than when he was at our house. Short-term memories, don't fail me now!

Update on 36 by 36: Time is Running Out!

2011-12-11T22:34:00.000-06:00

Well...my birthday is next week. YIKES, I have a lot left to do.

But, so far I've finished the following:

19. Bake cookies: Done!

23. Take a day off just for me: Done!

Kinda. I took Friday off to go to Ashley's Christmas program. I may have worked from home, but just a little.

24. Drive around and look at Christmas lights: Done!

Did this the other day...didn't have my camera on me. Boo.

27. Watch "The Polar Express" with the kids: Done!

Watched this last night on the Disney channel. I'd never seen it before and totally cried like a baby. Oh, how he belived at the end! And then Josh Groban sang "Believe"! It was too much. (The kids thought I was psychotic.)

Anyways, I'm moving right along! Kinda, considering I only have one week left. But you know me, I love a challenge.

Holiday Dress-Up

2011-12-06T23:26:00.003-06:00

Ah, the holidays. There are so many awesome things about them, not the least of which is getting to dress my kids up in holiday outfits. Love! My kids are going to be decked out in Target gear this year. Seriously, they had some dang cute stuff in stock.

I bought Ashley this sweet little sweater dress - it's more silvery than white in person.

And these sparkly shoes to go with them. OH, how I want a pair for myself!!!!!!!!!!

The boys will be wearing matching holiday sweaters. It's my right as a mother of twins to dress them that way. Trust me, I've earned it.

The standard go-to khaki's...

And these cute little shoes!

When I came home with them Scott was all "WHERE are they going to wear those shoes?" And I said, "They'll wear them on Christmas!" And then he said "But where ELSE will they wear them?" And I said "Uh...church?" And then he laughed at me because we never go to church. But let me tell you, we just might start, that's how cute these shoes are!

As for me, I'm trying to think of any excuse I can to go buy this little number from Kohl's.

I have nowhere to wear it to, but clearly that has never stopped me before.

Update on 36 by 36

2011-12-01T23:42:00.001-06:00

Well, I'm moving right along with my list of 36 things - with only 2.5 weeks to go!

You know, I think this might have been the best idea ever. I'm not only totally enjoying myself, but I also feel this big sense of accomplishment every time I finish something on the list. It's quite satisfying.

10. Decorate a Christmas tree: DONE!

The kids totally helped with this one. Actually, they pretty much did it all. But I made sure all the ornaments had hooks and what not, so I'm calling this one done based on that plus my supervision of the whole deal.

(P.S. I'm so jealous of all of you that get to have real trees. I'm stuck with a fake one and a pine scented Glade plug-in. Damn Scott and his fire safety consciousness.)

8. Soak in the Jacuzzi: DONE!

Now this one was actually not planned by me! Scott surprised me by having the tub filled up when I got home from work the other night. It was so niiiiiiiiiiiiiice to just relax and have some time to myself. And I didn't feel guilty about doing it because it was on the list so I HAD to do it. You know, it was just me being responsible and what not. Gotta check those items off, people.

I've done a few other things too that I'll be blogging about soon. Let me tell you, this list is making turning 36 a lot more fun.

Cold Office

2011-12-01T12:54:00.002-06:00

Today definitely feels like winter.

There are flurries of snowflakes flying around outside my window, my office is FREEZING, and all I want to do is be home, wrapped in a blanket, sipping on some hot chocolate.

But, at least it smells pretty in here. One of my clients sent me flowers as thanks for all the work we've done for him this year. Aren't they so Christmasy?! I love them.

And, I'm trying out a new hair look today - the side pony. I hear it's back in style. Or if it's not, I'm going to try to bring it back, because I like it.

Now I just need to figure out a way to bring back leg warmers...

Beware of the Christmas "Classic"

2011-11-29T11:04:00.001-06:00

The other night, the kids were clamoring to watch the claymation Christmas classic "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." Or, as Aidan calls it, "Ru-Dog." You know, cause he's so hip.

Anyway, I thought I had seen it when I was browsing through Netflix instant streaming a few weeks ago, so I agreed. But after I fired it up, I realized it was not the classic Rudolph I'd seen, but some random animated version instead. The kids were not pleased at first, but I convinced them to stick it out because the Netflix description said there would be a few other "Christmas Classics" on after Rudolph that maybe they'd like. I was thinking Frosty, Christmas Carol, etc.

WRONG.

I'm in the kitchen getting dinner ready when all of a sudden I look up and see the TV screen is showing a little ditty called "Santa's Surprise", which apparently was made back in the '40's and Holy Racist Stereotype Animation, Batman! Oh.My.God.

Good lord, Netflix. Maybe it's time to shelve some of these "Christmas Classics". Or at least don't put them in the warm fuzzy "For Kids" section.

[Picture removed b/c it bugged me.]

Christmas, Christmas, Time is Here

2011-11-28T11:29:00.000-06:00

We are all in the Christmas spirit over here. Last night I did some major damage to my Christmas shopping list via some online shopping at Amazon. I think I am D-O-N-E for the kids except for their stocking stuff.

They're each getting four *big* presents this year. You know, it is really freaking hard to shop for three kids that are basically the same age. I want to get them each unique stuff that I know *they* will like and that will make them feel special, but DUDE, it is hard to pick what item will go to what kid. Especially when you've got identical four year old little boys who like the exact same things.

So this year I made it easy on myself and basically bought them all the same stuff. It will make for kind of a repetitive Christmas-morning present opening session, but at least this way I know nobody will be disappointed that someone got something WAY MORE AWESOME than they did.

The biggest thing they're each getting is a LeapPad.

Which is also kind of a selfish present because I am hoping these will make them leave my iPad alone, for the love of all things holy. I was getting a pedicure a few weeks ago and the lady doing my toes told me to snatch these up because they were going like hotcakes. I'm so glad I listened and bought them at the time, because they are now sold out or way overpriced everywhere I've looked. I have half a mind to sell them on eBay and make a little profit, but that's a little grinchy of me, I suppose.

I had a major panic attack about these things last night, though, because I didn't understand what else I needed to buy. I kept seeing these download card thingies for $20, and then read about apps costing $7 or more to buy, and then game cartridges that were like $20 or so. So I was like, crap, what else do I need to buy!!?? But I think I figured it out after a little research.

The download card thingy is just a gift card - no need to buy that.
It comes with 4 apps, so no need to buy any extra right now.
I did decide to buy them each a game cartridge, though, because what the heck, I needed another present and I figure they will eventually share the three of them.

So, I got Ashley a Dora game, Aidan a Mr. Pencil game, and Owen a Cars 2 game.

etc. etc.

For their third present, I got them each a pillow pet. My kids have been talking about pillow pets for what feels like CENTURIES, so I figured it's time they got one. Plus, these were a major deal on Amazon last night at 55% off. Woot!

Then, I mixed things up a little bit. Ashley's been talking about these lalaloopsy dolls, and I thought they were cute, so what the heck.

Fourth present, booyah!

And then I got both Aidan and Owen a lego set.

This is where I felt bad getting each of them the same thing, cause legos seem kind of boring and I know they will share. BUT, I just had this sad vision of one of them happily playing with legos on Christmas morning while the other one stared wistfully at them. So, they're both getting legos. I've accepted it and moved on. Kind of.

Now I get to move on to buying stocking stuffers, which is my FAVORITE part of Christmas present buying. Scott always gets annoyed at me because I spend too much and buy things that don't fit in the stockings. He says it should be candy canes and M&Ms only. To that I say, "Bah humbug, good sir!" I've already got plans to stuff slippers, a doctor kit, and a zhu zhu pet in Aidan's stocking. And that's just getting started. It's gonna be a tight fit but I'm gonnna make it work. 'Tis the season!

Bloggy Makeover

2011-11-26T17:01:00.000-06:00

Happy belated Thanksgiving! Hope you all had a great one.

I got to cross TWO items off my 36 by 36 list:

2. Cook Thanksgiving turkey: DONE!

28. Bake a pumpkin pie: DONE!

The turkey turned out delish. I didn't do anything fancy...just stuffed it with my family's secret stuffing recipe and baked it for forever. I had a total of 13 people over, so I feel very pleased that everyone was fed and happy. And nothing was burned. Hooray!

In other news, I totally redid my blog look. What do you all think? (I'm quite pleased with myself.) I even made a new button. If you have my old one, please grab the new one when you get a minute (if you're into that sort of thing).

Here, I'll even put it right here for ease of access:

Tonight Scotty is grabbing some take-out for us and we are going to watch a movie. I'm excited to just CHILL. The last few days have been hectic, hectic, hectic. I kinda feel like I need a vacation from my Thanksgiving vacation, if you know what I mean.

Hope you all have a lovely rest of the weekend! :-)

Breaking Dawn Recap

2011-11-22T11:28:00.011-06:00

So, I went and saw Breaking Dawn.

3. Go see a movie in a movie theater: DONE!

11. Go out with my girlfriends: DONE!

And over all, I loved it! EXCEPT for the dog-talking scene. That was too much, even for me. I almost hacked up a lung I was laughing and then coughing and then laughing so hard. My poor friend Molly who was sitting next to me was trying to hang on to the seriousness of it all, but I quickly brought her down. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out.

"Jacob, grrrr, I am alpha!"

"Woof, snarl! No you're not, I am alpha!"

Tears.

Anyways, favorites:

I loved that they played the prom song from the first movie when Edward and Bella kissed at the wedding. Le sigh.
Loved Bella's dress. Gorgeous.
Dude, the makeup folks did a killer job on Bella when she was pregnant. She looked SCARY thin.
Loved the toasts at the wedding.
Edward looked SO HAPPY (during the first part of the move). I love happy Edward.

Not-so-favorites:

Aforementioned dog-talking scene.
Coulda used a little more gore on the birthing scene. I know, I'm gross.

So have any of you seen it? What did you think??

Progress from the Plague

2011-11-19T15:42:00.002-06:00

After I wrote that last post, OMG my sickness came back and kicked me in the arse with a VENGEANCE. I finally went to Urgent Care on Thursday (since I am a doofus and don't have a primary care doctor - I know, I know) and got some antibiotics, so I think I'm finally on the mend. Good lord, at least I hope so.

Especially because tonight I am going out with my girlfriends for a night of BBQ, Edward Cullen, and cupcakes. Ooh la la! Hopefully I won't hack up a lung while I'm out. Could be touch and go.

Have made very little progress on my list of 36 things so far, although I did buy a cute winter hat today.

Check!

And I get a night out with my girlfriends and a movie in the movie theater tonight, so score. I'm on my way! Even tuberculosis can't hold me back from my Edward. Although, isn't that what he was dying from originally before he got vamped? Ah, the irony.

Sicker than a Dog (and it was a really sick dog)

2011-11-13T23:13:00.001-06:00

You all, I have been SO flipping sick the past few days. I stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday and basically just slept and coughed and hacked. My stomach is so sore from coughing, I think I broke a rib. Although ribs aren't in your stomach, right? Hell, my ribs probably migrated to my stomach what with all the violent coughing.

Maybe I have tuberculosis.

I haven't gone to the doctor, because they always wait until after I pay my $30.00 copay to tell me that it's viral and they can't do anything about it. So let's hope this time it's viral, otherwise I might be dead from a raging bacterial infection in a few day's time.

Blah.

In other news, I had to say I know my list of 36 things is totally slanted towards the fun stuff in life. Which makes me seem kind of silly and frivolous, I suppose, in retrospect. But, you all, I spend so much of my life wrapped up in my kids and my work that my blog is pretty much the only place I can say, "But what about meeeeeeee??????" So I say it, and I say it often. Maybe I shouldn't. Yeah, of course I should. (3 points if you can name the song)

Also, I find that as my kids get older, I grow more uncomfortable writing about them. I always said to myself that I'd stop writing about Ashley once she learned how to read, and well, ding dong, the girl is literate. Not that she'll be pulling up my blog for light afternoon reading anytime soon, but I feel now that she's her own little person, and it's not my place to be carving out her online persona. I still want to blog, of course...I just need to switch focus a little. So I'm trying to figure all that out.

Whoo, that got a little heavy. Blogging while doped up on cold medicine, hooray!

Anyhow, so my list of 36 things is just one way I'm shifting focus a little. Because come on, we all love a narcissistic blog, am I right, ladies!? Bueller?

Regardless, I'm gonna live it up the next month, trying to meet my list of 36. Which this sickness has put a damper on, unfortunately. The way things are going, I might have to wear false eyelashes and red lipstick on the same day to make up some time. The horror! The horror!

36 By 36

2011-11-09T23:51:00.001-06:00

See, when I am struggling with blobbiness, it is important to write about it. Because then I get great comments from you all on how to fix it.

I am really liking Funny in My Mind and Marcia (123 Blog)'s ideas about making a list of things to do and then blogging about it. But I'm gonna add my own little twist to it too, since you know me, I like to get twisty. I'm going to do 36 things - 36 things before I turn 36!

(I turn 36 on December 18th. It's already November 9th, people. I need to get cracking.)

Luckily Marica is bossy, so she gave me two things for my list already:

1. Take fall pictures of the kids: DONE!

2. Cook Thanksgiving turkey

Hmmmmm. Now for the rest....

.....

..........

Crap, I can't think of anything.

Lemme try harder.

3. ........

SHOOT, this is hard. Okay, here we go:

3. Go see a movie in a movie theater (Boring, but whatever, let's get this list moving)

4. Wash my minivan (it's scary dirty)

5. Eat a lot of peppermint bark

6. Go out on a date with my husband

7. Learn a dance with Ashley

8. Soak in the Jacuzzi

9. Write a short story (Hey, it's not a book, but it's something!)

10. Decorate a Christmas tree (free pass)

11. Go out with my girlfriends

12. Finish reading Wuthering Heights

13. Take Aidan out for a date

14. Take Owen out for a date

15. Buy some new shoes (Scott's gonna love this one)

16. Learn how to make my mom's almond cake icing

17. Take a family picture with all FIVE of us in it (whoah)

18. Go out for strawberry margaritas

Shit. I am only half way done.

19. Bake cookies

20. Make another wreath (ruh-roh)

21. Watch that "Once Upon a Time" show (I hear it's good.)

22. Make homemade macaroni and cheese (anyone have a good recipe for this? I've been wanting to make it lately.)

23. Take a day off just for me

24. Drive around and look at Christmas lights

25. Wear false eyelashes

26. Buy a cute winter hat

27. Watch "The Polar Express" with the kids

28. Bake a pumpkin pie

29. Drink hot chocolate with marshmallows in it

(I am noticing a theme here involving food and drink. Apparently I define excitement in my life by being well-nourished.)

30. Slow dance with my husband

31. Figure out how to display our family photos on the wall

32. Go out wearing bright red lipstick

33. Eat sushi

34. Plan a vacation

35. Rearrange the furniture in the living room

36. Turn 36. And try not to cry about it.

DUDE. I am going to be busy.

Project De-Blobbify

2011-11-07T21:59:00.001-06:00

I took my mom out to lunch the other day. Over her salad, she said the following to me:

"You need a project."

And she was right. I do need a project. Which is weird if you know my personality, because I am kind of a couch potato. But after awhile, if I don't have a project, I start to feel like a blob. A boring blobby blob.

So. I need a project. An interesting project. And by interesting, I mean BIG.

At first, I thought I would write a novel. Isn't it NNWM or some such acronym for writing a novel in a month? But then I spaced, and now it is November 7th, so whoops, not much time left for that. Also, I don't have any ideas for a topic or a plot or a character, which seems kind of important.

Then I thought, maybe I will start a photography business. I've taken fall pictures for three friends for fun this year, and I thought well, heck, maybe I should do this for some strangers and charge something for it. Still mulling this one over.

I also want to redecorate my living room. Unfortunately, this one is not very feasible since Scott put me on a Target moratorium the other day when I went to buy laundry soap and came home with two shirts, tights and card stock (and I even put the third shirt BACK, harumph).

I HAVE decided that I am going to cook the Thanksgiving turkey for the first time this year. Usually my mom handles it since my family members are all turkey fanatics and you do not want to be the person who screwed up the turkey on Thanksgiving. But I'm gonna do it this year. I'm a 35 year old woman with three kids for God's sake, it's time I learned how to cook a turkey.

So I guess the turkey could be my project. But how lame is that. I'm one step away from wearing holiday sweaters with that plan.

So what projects are you all working on? Got any interesting ideas for me? Or a book topic? I'll take those too. No pressure on what you come up with, it just needs to be perfect is all. No biggie.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T10:51:00.001-05:00

A Second Open Letter to the St. Louis Cardinals

2011-10-28T18:08:00.001-05:00

Dear St. Louis Cardinals,

Hoo-boy, that was a crazy night last night. But you won! Hey, good job.

So.

I know you all must be tired. (I'm tired of baseball, too.)

But let's just win one more, okay? One more, for my hubby.

In case you forgot - I've shared him with you all summer. And fall. And part of the spring too. So, you know, I deserve this.

(Yes, I know he's also seeing the Nebraska Cornhuskers on the side. Believe me, I have a strongly worded letter out to them, too.)

So anyways. Good luck tonight and all that! Hope it's not too cold out there. Keep your shirts on. Make sure you catch all the balls. Run fast and don't miss any plates. Hit the ball places where the other team isn't. Try not to step on any squirrels.

But really. No matter what happens, I guess I'll see you in the spring. I always do.

Love,

Megan

An Open Letter to the St. Louis Cardinals

2011-10-24T22:09:00.001-05:00

Dear St. Louis Cardinals,

Hello there. Please win a game soon. Otherwise my husband's head might explode, and well, I like his head. It still has all its hair, which is saying something for a guy in his mid-30's. Granted, it's a little grey, but who's to blame for that now, Cardinals, hmmm?

Anyhow.

Just win a game. Maybe tonight, if there's time. Or the next time you play.

Then again, it would be nice to have my TV back. Hmm.

Love,

Megan

Berry Bad Idea

2011-10-23T22:17:00.001-05:00

I want to have another baby *just* so I can buy this Halloween costume from Old Navy. ACK.

I think I just spontaneously ovulated.

Squirrels with Mushroom Sauce

2011-10-21T10:43:00.001-05:00

Scott and I have implemented a monthly meal plan in our house (inspired by the lovely Katherine over at The Katherine Wheel) - more on that process later!

It's been fabulous - for me and Scott. The kids are still in mourning over the loss of their favorite dinner staple of "yellow pasta" (boxed penne with butter and parmesan). What can I say, they've grown very attached over the past few ~~years~~ months.

Anyhoo, the other night we had frozen chicken patty sandwiches. Nothing fancy, but hey, something different! The boys were moaning and groaning about it. "I no like chicken sandwiches!" "I no want eat chicken sandwiches!" "I want yellow pasta!"

Scott finally had enough and yelled "For God's sake, it's a giant CHICKEN NUGGET!"

(They didn't buy it.)

Ashley also had an epiphany during that same dinner. "Hey mommy! Did you know there's the chicken at the farm and then the chicken that we eat! Two kinds of chicken! With the same name!"

Maybe nicer mothers would have shielded her a bit longer from the cold reality that the chicken from the farm IS the chicken that we eat. But I just laid it out there for her. She took it well.

So well, in fact, that I didn't shield them the next night either when they started complaining about lasagna. Lasagna, for crying out loud! It is noodles, cheese and sauce.

Aidan said "I don't like basagna." I said "Yes, you do, it's yellow pasta. There's yellow pasta in it!" But Aidan held strong. "I just eat the yellow pasta part." And then he picked off the cheese.

What?! What kid refuses melted cheese?* Craziness.

Anyway, I got frustrated, so I announced "You guys don't even know how lucky you are. I watched a TV show last night about zombies and the only thing the people found to eat one night was SQUIRRELS and MUSHROOMS."

The kids looked horrified. Scott gave me a stern look. But I was undeterred.

"Mommy, why did they eat squirrels and mushrooms?" asked Ashley.

"Because the zombies took over the world and the people were hiding in the woods and the only thing they could find to eat was squirrels," I replied.

"And mushrooms," added Ashley.

"Yes," I said. "And I'm not even going to tell you what the zombies ate."

Scott looked at me really sternly now.

"Mommy, what did the zombies eat!?!?" asked all the kids in unison.

I ignored Scott's piercing gaze and blurted out "They ate.....the people!!!"

"Ewwwwwwwww!!" they all said.

"Yup," I said. "So you guys really should not complain about lasagna."

They were all quiet for a moment. But then Ashley turned to me with wide eyes and whispered..."But mommy...what did the squirrels eat?"

Not even phased.

***

*The same kid who won't eat ketchup. KETCHUP. I didn't think it was possible for a kid to not like ketchup until I had the boys.