MOM- My Own Mind

Value Alignment in the New Year

2026-01-04T13:27:00.006-06:00

As the sun sets on 2025 and we usher in a new year, I've begun the ritual of reflecting on the past year and thinking intently about the upcoming year - a process that generally yields a new or renewed commitment to the achievement of specific goals borne out of that reflection. I have always viewed this as a healthy, comforting ritual that keeps me looking forward toward improvement. If I am thinking in depth and feeling ambitious, I think about goals across multiple spheres in my life - health, career, personal, spiritual, relational. This is where I often find myself at the start of the new year, and it has been a useful framework for establishing concrete steps that will help me form better, general habits in each area.

The last few years I've been less inspired by the process, feeling something important was missing but never quite sure what. As I began my process for 2026, I suddenly saw it: it was fragmented. This framework had me setting and chasing different goals across different spheres of my life. Though certainly helpful, that approach can only ever get me so far because by establishing disparate goals I was failing to acknowledge what lies beneath and connects them: my values and how I live them. My old process failed to acknowledge the deeper purpose of and interconnections between my goals - the evaluation, (re)assertion, and enactment of my values across all spheres of my life. Though promoting growth generally, it inhibited my ability to achieve alignment in my life.

My new year's reflection this year is centered in comprehensive value alignment. I am identifying areas of my life that are already well-aligned, identifying areas that could be strengthened in their alignment, and identifying areas that need to be (re)aligned. From there, I am assessing what (re)alignment looks like in area and setting my goals accordingly. So far, this process has been far more inspiring, productive, and grounding. It feels far less constrained and more centered in possibilities.

Gratitude for Imperfection

2022-10-16T20:48:00.009-05:00

Tonight I am reflecting on the beauty - and the necessity - of our imperfection. There isn't a single human being on earth that can understand the grand design - the totality of life - the wonder of our existence - by themselves. Not a single one. We simply do not have the capacity to understand this on our own - independent of others. We were built for connection. We were built for love. We cannot thrive absent it - we cannot survive absent it - and we cannot achieve absent it. We were built to help make each other more perfect - You see, our imperfections serve a critical purpose - they are where we are most prompted to narrate our lives - understand, explain, account, make sense. They are where we have the opportunity to become vulnerable - to open up space for others. Our imperfections create space for connection with others, and our connection with others is the only path to love. It is through our imperfections, not despite them, that we can find and grow in love and begin to understand the world in ways that extend beyond our individual capacities. I wrote something about inter-connectedness a while back in a blog post. I keep coming back to this in my thinking, and have since advanced in my thinking with this additional thought (after having returned to Buber, picked up Gutíerez, read Tutu and the Dalai Lama, and re-visited CS Lewis): It is in this space of imperfection, this space that we actively narrate, that we are most primed to meet the Other. And in meeting the Other in this space, we have the opportunity to meet the Divine. So, I am learning to be grateful for my imperfections - to embrace them- and I am doing it despite living in a societal system that not only discourage - but often shames them. May we all embrace our own (and others') imperfections as opportunities -gifts, really - for the connection we need, the love we were created for, and the growth to which we aspire.

Grace and Generosity?

2022-03-01T08:58:00.001-06:00

There's been a good deal of criticism around the word and concept of "resilience" in the last year or so - and while I do think we need to continue to recognize the benefits of resilience in the face of adversity, I think its equally important to problematize the idea, particularly absent boundaries or clear parameters. Resilience should be a short term solution to adversity - when it becomes an expected, ongoing response, suddenly patterns and expectations change, and conditions that were once considered exceptionally adverse for which exceptional resilience was required become the norm - a taken for granted state of being that we are all expected to navigate as a part of regular, every day life. In short, resilience without limits can and does change systems in ways that are less just and humane, creating a new normal that imposes unrealistic expectations on those within it. It's an important critique.

The same is true in our relationships with others. Relationships emerge in and through interactions - through interaction patterns. We've encouraged grace and generosity in our interpretations of others' behavior in interacting with us, we are all going through a lot and so should cut one another some slack. We're stressed, tired, anxious, not ourselves - we should let things go in our interactions with others that we might otherwise call out. Again, this has all been good - an important move in a time of exceptional stress situated in intersecting crises. Though, in the same way we need to be mindful of how our understanding of resilience changes the material conditions in which we live, we need to just as mindful of the way our relationships are impacted by these moves over time. This presumption of grace and generosity was important in the early days of what we've endured - and as time has gone on and this has continued to be the expectation, I'm noticing a clear pattern of relational change in some of the relationships in which I've been providing the most grace and understanding. What was once an exception has served to re-define these relationships in ways that are, at times, unacceptable to me. It's not surprising - 2 years is a long time and certainly a time frame in which new relational patterns develop. When these remain un-checked in the name of being generous or giving grace for that length of time, things change dramatically - and we need to reckon with the impact of these changes, one way or another.

A Brief Reflection on Milestones

2021-05-16T21:39:00.004-05:00

These last few weeks have been increasingly emotional as I prepare for my eldest's high school graduation and my youngest's 8th grade graduation. 4 years ago, as she was starting high school, I was caught off guard by how impacted I, as a parent, was during this transition. One moment, I was fine...just a regular Mom preparing for the next new thing in my kids' life. And the next minute, Wow. I was a mess. I wasn't at all prepared for the onslaught of emotions, insecurities, struggle, questions, and straight up panic this move would usher into my life. I mean, I figured high schoolers go through these things, but PARENTS of high schoolers? That was super unexpected. She was fine--I was a mess. I remember the week of Orientation, just before classes started shifting from excited and supportive Mom ready for this new stage of life to suddenly feeling totally lost--adrift in a sea of utter chaos--as my daughter was about to embark on a stage of life for which, yet again, I had no real road map. I mean, I didn't do high school all that well myself, now I have to guide someone else through it?? I couldn't shake the feeling that there was no way I was going to be able to protect her from all of these new problems and challenges. And, cognitively, I knew that wasn't the goal. Cognitively, I was excited for all the new opportunities and challenges, and growth that was sure to come. But emotionally, boy, my heart was not getting the message. I looked at the halls of that high school and figured they were just going to swallow her up while I stood outside smiling and waving, totally helpless to stop it.

The thing is, I had invested so much of myself in their lives up to this point, and I suddenly realized that this was about to look a lot different. The unshakeable feeling that our relationship was about to change forever--and in ways I could never even hope to predict. Our nice, neat little life--all three kids in one school, lots of family time, game nights, regular after school talks--it was all about to change. And then my panic got worse--I suddenly realized that in just a few short years she would be graduating from HS and moving away and it was all about to be over and....See? I told you. I really did start to spiral there as a parent for a minute.

But, like most things and like most parents do, I quickly got over it. I soon embraced the new experiences, joys, struggles, heartaches, and triumphs that came along with this new stage of life. They come at you pretty fast! Things did change, as they should, but that change ushered in a whole new set of wonderful experiences and surprises along the way. I was able to step back, relax a little, and watch her soar on her own. What she needed from me was simply space. She needed space to grow--to make her own choices, to solve her own problems, to craft her own life. She needed me to support her--just more at a distance. I quickly realized that it was that space that provided the opportunity for our relationship to grow, as I should have known it would, and suddenly I was learning, right along with her, all about this amazing young woman she was becoming. Over these last four years, I have had the privilege of watching her wrestle with the world around her, explore new interests, discard old ones, think things through, make decisions, solve problems, stand up for what she believes in. I've seen her show grace and empathy, strength and unapologetic confidence, and humility. I've seen her reject toxicity and hate and embrace warmth and love. I've seen her challenge others in productive ways. I've seen her admit her mistakes and learn from them. And, as I've watched her struggle, grow, and ultimately, shine, I've come to admire her in ways beyond what I could have possibly imagined four years ago. What I knew back then, but struggled to accept, was that letting go and embracing change was the healthiest thing I could do as a parent. As we face yet another transition, I am faced with the same dilemma--knowing I have to let go, but scared to do so. This time, though, this reflection provides me with at least the makings of a map.

At any rate, as I made a video for her graduation coming up this week, and I'm posting it here really for myself, as a way to preserve it in this blog that has developed as a catalogue of my own growth over the years.

Interconnectedness: A Personal Philosophical and Spiritual Reflection Moving into 2021

2020-12-26T14:14:00.020-06:00

It's the end of the year--an incredibly difficult one at that--and a traditional time for reflection. As a part of that process, I've been giving a lot of thought of late to our interconnectedness. It's a fascinating thing to contemplate, especially in a time of such divisiveness and polarization. As a scholar of communication, I view our interactions with others as the building blocks of our socially constructed reality and I believe no paradigm provides an inclusive, holistic view/understanding of the world. As a Catholic and person of faith, I believe that the world is much bigger and more meaningful than my individual life and I recognize and humbly accept the limitations of singular human understanding. Thus, it is my firm belief that, as humans, we are incapable of knowing the truth independent of one another, yet we are obligated to work toward understanding it together. With these particular set of beliefs and commitments, it's hard to get away from the fact that we are all architects in humanity's grand design--or individual weavers in the tapestry of human experience. This imagery--an ever-evolving tapestry representing the co-creation of humanity, or the human experience, to which we all contribute via the choices we make in interacting with one another--is one that has stuck with me.

We are, however, weaving (or building, if you like that metaphor better) largely blind to one another, and often hinder and actively work against one another by devaluing and/or dismissing each other in that process. Worse, we are blind to our own role in the process, and often work against ourselves-getting in our own way via self-doubt, with a singular focus on individual needs and concerns (what I call toxic individualism), etc. For example, in our mundane, day to day interactions, we have built--called into being--co-created--the social structures that maintain divisions between us rather than break barriers down to allow for the kinds of connections that would break us out of our limited understandings and challenge us to create a new, more meaningfully connected world. We participate in this without thinking. When we do think about it, we don't do so critically. If we recognize it, we may decide we are powerless to change and so absolve ourselves from doing so. Worse, we often fight to maintain those divisions and the social hierarchies they support as a way to protect our own interests. As we go about our daily lives, our goals are most often focused on the material needs of the lives we've created in connection with family and friends, co-workers and colleagues. These needs differ based on our position in the hierarchy, that we've created and perpetuated, along with the circumstances of our lives.

Often, we are just trying to manage our daily commitments and obligations with very little thought to any kind of bigger picture--other than a drive toward material success. Others are simply trying to survive until the next day. Our day to day interactions with others are about securing our basic needs and/or advancing our material goals, with little to no thought about anything else. This is true for all of us with the demands of daily life, but particularly true for those living in or near poverty, with addiction, with chronic illness, in abusive and/or other perilous situations, just to name a few of the many, many things that make life particularly difficult. The needs and demands of our lives and the struggles that we've been challenged by demand our attention--often ALL of our attention. And the interactions we have with others as we navigate these challenges construct our view and experience of the world that we inhabit--and the worlds these others with whom we interact inhabit with and for others in their lives. Each interaction we engage in those day to day moments serve not only to help us to get through and navigate these moments, but they also work toward constructing/perpetuating/potentially challenging the systems and structures in which we work and live. In that way, we are all responsible for these structures and the social hierarchies, advantages, and disadvantages that they create. So, just one example. Each time we witness an act of discrimination (or look past one) and say nothing because we're too busy or too concerned with the impact speaking up would have on our ability to meet our material needs, we contribute to the structures that inflict the inequity. Whether we intend to or not. We just do. We build it, along with every other person participating in society, through our interactions. Each time we benefit from the hierarchy that we work within over someone else and say nothing, we are perpetuating that structure. We are responsible for it. So, this part of my reflection speaks directly to the heart of who I am as an academic. But more than that, it speaks to who I am as a person of faith.

I see each of these interactions as contributing to this larger "fabric of humanity" that we are all co-creating together, whether we realize it or not. And often I fear that the fabric we are creating together in our interactions with our fellow humans is not one of which we should be proud. I know there are times in my life as I reflect back in which my contributions were less than stellar, and often misguided and hurtful to the larger picture of humanity.

So what does this fabric look like? Honestly, I don't know. I suppose it would be tough to know, as it is constantly being (re)created. Perhaps I'll never know, but I have faith that God will reveal it to me at some point in my next life. I would guess it has the potential to be more beautiful than anything I've ever seen or could possibly imagine. It's as unique and diverse as the world itself is. And each person will have contributed to it from the moment their life begins until the moment they die. The struggle, though, is how many of the most beautiful parts will be featured, and how many will be muted? And, central to my personal reflection here, what role do my contributions have in complementing the larger beautiful picture of ALL of humankind?

Here's what I believe. Though we cannot possibly see the tapestry in its entirety, I have faith that we're creating it. Together. And I believe we see tiny, tiny glimpses of our contributions to this fabric in the moments when we are made aware of the importance and impact of one of our day to day interactions on another's life--whether that's positive or negative. Sometimes we get word that something we said in an interaction years ago had a powerful impact on someone in a way we could not have possibly known. Maybe it helped them to see their personal value. Maybe it caused them to change their life path. Perhaps it hurt them deeply. Perhaps it silenced them. Marginalized them. Perhaps it centered them. Elevated them. Perhaps it strengthened them. These moments of clarity and realization, for me, are a tiny glimpse of the divine--a tiny glimpse at a fragment of the larger tapestry we are all weaving. Just a momentary glimpse that, if we're paying attention, we can recognize as Hope. It's the best we'll get until we are blessed to see more.

It's important to realize that this tapestry we are creating, blindly and largely unintentionally, is not perfect. It's not intended to be perfect. We're human, after all. But, it's indescribably beautiful because it's each and every one of us. It's hard to fathom that something so important is being created by so many as an afterthought, or worse, unbeknownst to us. But, I truly believe that it is, and that it is our most important project. Despite this, I myself have not been regularly committed to its intentional creation. Though I do think about it somewhat regularly, I have not done so as often as I should. Therefore, my goal for 2021 is to be more intentional about and mindful of my contributions to this work of art that we are all creating. I don't know exactly what that means yet--but I do know that it starts with a humble recognition that my view and contribution is limited, and no more or less important than any other contributor to this fabric, and continues with a genuine curiosity about the partial, tiny views that can be afforded if I truly listen to my fellow human beings across diverse positions and experiences. From there, I can figure out how humility and curiosity can translate into day to day mindful and intentional action that both directly and indirectly supports the myriad of diverse contributions to the creation of this beautiful and elusive tapestry, many of which I will admittedly not understand because of the inherent limitations of the human experience--but that I will love and respect, to create something beyond any of us. That's at least a place to start.

Holiday Grief

2019-12-22T14:53:00.004-06:00

Every Christmas I strive to take time out of the busy-ness of the season to really take in and appreciate the beauty in the spiritual meaning of this holiday for me as a Catholic. My goal, every year, is to have a spiritually rich and meaningful Christmas. Each year, I have varying degrees of success, and this year, I am failing miserably. It's not that I haven't tried. I lie awake at night reflecting on the meaning of the season, and, inevitably, I start to think of my Mom and how much she loved this season to her very core. We lost her June 18th of this past year. I remember her beautiful smile, I see her joy-filled eyes, and I hear her laughter. And I miss her. Terribly. I start to feel the intense ache in my heart of having her gone, and I begin to cry.

I know I'm supposed let these emotions come and give them the space that they need. I know I'm supposed to cry when I feel like crying. I know I'm supposed to not feel guilty about it. But, the reality is, I'm also supposed to embody the joy of this season for my family. It's what she always did for me, and it's what I want to do for them. The problem is, I don't feel joy. To be honest, I don't feel much at all, because whenever I allow myself to get emotional, it's overwhelming grief. So I turn it off, and I check the boxes off my To-Do list. I don't want to cry through our traditions. I don't want to bring my family down. I don't want them focused on my intense sorrow. I want them to be joyful, and to feel love and warmth.

The thing about this is, I had a plan for the grief going into this Christmas. Early in the season of Advent, I told myself this would be a difficult Christmas, so I developed a plan to help me manage it. It centered on staying busy, finding ways to honor my Mom, taking comfort and finding joy in memories, and enjoying the special moments in Christmas as they happen. Things were going really well for a while. I was staying busy, enjoying little moments, checking off my to do list.

As we draw closer to Christmas, however, it's become increasingly clear that while I could embrace the secular part of Christmas without much difficulty through the grief, I'm virtually incapable of opening myself up spiritually without breaking down into tears. I can't get through a Mass without crying, unless I just go through the motions and don't think about it. I can't pray without sobbing, unless it's an often recited prayer I repeat without thinking about it. I'm incapable of making a meaningful confession at the moment. I know this is part of it--but it's not a part I want my family to have to experience. I don't want them to have to bear witness to my pain during a time in which they should all be feeling so much joy and love. I want to share in happy memories of Mom without complicating them with tears. This post is the most reflection I have been able to muster this holiday season, and, I guess it's something. Better than nothing at all.

Complicating things, this grief creates an invisible barrier to connections with those around me. It's difficult to feel connected when you are struggling through managing unpredictable emotions. It's easier, and often more comfortable, to avoid people or to embrace surface level talk rather than making deep, meaningful connections. Sadly, these are the kinds of connections those who are grieving need. Grief at the holidays is a real thing--something I've always known and tried to respect in those around me, but that I've not experienced personally until this Christmas. It's a real struggle. My hope and prayer is that my holiday grief will eventually become a sort of holiday gift for me in Christmases to come. Something that helps me to keep my Mom close in the times that were most special to her.

To all those who are grieving this Christmas--I see you. I finally see you. And I hope you find beauty in your grief, and that you are surrounded by love.

A Life Lived in Love

2019-06-18T18:35:00.001-05:00

When someone you love to the core of your being passes from this life to the next, there is no road map to follow that can help you navigate the minefield of emotions, fears, deep sorrows, anxieties, and crippling grief. We lost my Mom today at 9:40am. She took her last breath just after we all said good-bye. My relationship with my Mom has always been close, one in which we could talk about any and everything--from plans for the day, laughing about goofy things we did or saw, to "kitchen talk" (things not meant for ears outside our family), heavy conversations about faith, morality, spirituality, and world affairs, to silly observations --and we thoroughly and genuinely enjoyed one another through it all. She had a beautiful spirit, one that immediately put others at ease and drew people to her. She has stood by all of us throughout our lives, in joyful times and in sorrowful times. She has helped us work through our problems, stood by us in our mistakes, celebrated our accomplishments with us, and prayed for us daily.

One of my fondest early childhood memories is really more of a feeling. A feeling of love, safety, and security. When I think of my childhood, one scene always pops into my mind: it's around 6pm, early October. It's getting dark, and Dad is not yet home from work, but will be soon. Mom is in the kitchen, making dinner--fried chicken, to be exact. I am laying on the floor in the family room watching WKRP in Cincinnati. I can hear the chicken sizzle in the pan and I can smell it cooking. I can hear Mom singing softly, laughing to herself. I'm hoping that Dad will light a fire in the fireplace when he gets home so I can warm my feet by it. When Dad walks in the door from the garage, he's carrying the pumpkin we will later carve into a Jack-O-Lantern. I am anxiously awaiting an evening together with our family by the fireplace. That moment--that scene--represents for me the feeling of being truly loved, secure, and supported throughout my childhood. I have drawn from this memory time and again to shape my own approach to parenting and to building a family. My Mom and Dad gave the precious, priceless gift of unconditional love to me, and to all of us. That gift helped me to feel so safe and secure in the home they created for us, to grow in love and confidence and support, and to look for that in my marriage and to provide that to my own kids.

My parents and I have been blessed to remain close over the years, and as a result I was able to hear Mom's laughter every day. That laughter filled me with joy--I loved to hear her laugh. She reminded me to not take life so seriously all the time, to stop and remember to be joyful amidst the chaos of life--to pick the daisies. The special moments, the laughter, the tears, the celebrations, the trips we've taken together, the early morning coffee talks, the late night talks, the thoughtful discussions about faith and world issues, the everyday conversations --all of these things have provided me and my family with beautiful memories to carry with us and to sustain us. These conversations, these moments, these precious memories that my husband and I and our three children share will be one of the ways she continues to live on in our family and, through our relationships with others, in the world around us.

Years ago, in 2001, about a year after Jason and I were married, I was in graduate school, earning my Master's Degree with the
intention of going straight into my doctoral course work. Our thought was that we would begin our family after I had finished my education. One Sunday morning, as Jason and I sat in Mass at St. Mary's, the priest was giving his homily. I cannot remember what the homily was all about, but I do remember a powerful pull--a distinct sense that I was being called to Motherhood. I had never had an experience like that before, though knew with 100% certainty that it was real and something I needed to heed. So, Jason and I went out for lunch after Mass and talked it over, and ultimately decided that it was far more important to us that our parents know our children--their grandchildren--than it was for my parents to see me earn a doctoral degree. We were blessed to start our family later that year. I had three kids--Julia, Tyler, and Ava. Because of that decision, and by the grace of God, my Mom was not only able to watch my children grow, she was able to develop beautiful relationships with each of them, a gift beyond measure. Though I had a small inkling of the importance of this at the time, I could not have possibly imagined the magnitude of it then. Grandma and Poppa are a part of their lives--their past, their present, and as a result, their future, and my Mom will live on in our family forever in our stories and in memories of ordinary and special moments filled with love.

My Mom also was able to see me earn a PhD and achieve a life-long dream to become a professor, something far less important than her knowing and loving my children, but special to me nonetheless, particularly given her support of me in pursuing that goal. She has always believed in and supported each of us kids, and, in my case, that love and support was instrumental in helping me to achieve this goal. I am so grateful she got to see it happen.

Mom and Dad spent many winters together in Florida, enjoying the sunshine, white beaches, and ocean waves. They always welcomed their family to join them, and Jason and I were fortunate to be able to take the kids to visit them on two separate visits. These are some of our most treasured vacations. Mom loved to share their time in Florida with her family, and she especially enjoyed sharing this with her grandkids and watching the wonder in their eyes and joy on their faces as they experienced seeing the ocean and playing on the white sandy beaches. Mom and Dad have seen each of my children come into this world, enjoyed pre-school and grade school programs, ball games, celebrated sacraments, holidays, birthdays, and just everyday life--my kids have grown up knowing what a special woman their grandmother is, sharing in her life and in her joy, and I can think of no greater gift than that.

My Mom has always seen the beauty in the simplest things. Like her own Mother, she believed in the importance of appreciating life, telling us often to stop and pick the daisies--to stop and enjoy life as we live it. She understood that life is lived in the everyday moments, and she never missed a chance to express gratitude for them. She truly enjoyed other people, and found joy in her relationships. Everyone who knew her could feel her love and joy. When we were kids, she would often invite neighbors in for a glass of tea and some "kitchen talk". She loved to sit on the porch or on the deck with Dad and kids running all around. She was at her most joyful when surrounded by her family.

She taught us all so much. For me, one of the biggest lessons I learned from her was to respect others, as well as to earn and expect their respect, giving me the space to disagree, as long as I was respectful in that disagreement. That lesson has stayed with me, and has served me well in my personal and professional life. I have

never been afraid to take chances, to embrace life, to dream big. I've never been afraid to speak up when I have something to say, nor have I been afraid to listen when others have something to say. My mom taught me the very basics of how to live an ethical life, one driven by critical self-reflection, an openness to those who differ from me, a curiosity about things I don't understand, and a combination of confidence and humility. She always encouraged me to be my own person, supporting me in exploring who I was and who I wanted to be, and perhaps most importantly, to see the beauty in the differences between people. She inspired goodness and humility in those around her. Growing up, I remember her always telling me how proud she was of me, all while telling me "now, don't get a big head!" She was always able to boost us up while ensuring we remained humble.

There was no problem that was too small or too big for her to help me through. I could talk to my Mom about everything, as a child, as a teen, as a young adult, and as a wife and mother myself. She helped me to be the best version of myself in every role that I play. I am filled with gratitude to have been her daughter, and I will miss our conversations more than I can express.

In the last couple of years, my Mom's health has declined. Despite the set-backs and their associated complications, she took it all in stride, and despite the frustrations of her illness, she offered her suffering to God, praying to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph through her last days. She managed her struggle with grace, offered it up to God, and took comfort in her faith as well as in the love of her husband, children, grandchildren, and friends. The dignity with which she bore her cross as she continued to decline in health has been a shining example of how to live your faith through struggle. She, along with my Dad, taught me all I know about living a faith driven, joyful life in service to others. She has now taught me how to carry that into death. She and my Dad have both been excellent role models, and when I am struggling, I need only look to the life they lived together to find my way through.

Mom's illness and suffering was difficult to witness, especially over these last months, though it did give those of us around her the chance to really enjoy her--to take in and appreciate the little things, to enjoy one another, to laugh, and to have many in depth, meaningful discussions over these last several months. It prompted us to make more time, to slow life down, and to appreciate time spent together. We took full advantage, and the kids, Jason, and I took several trips to back home to just visit Mom and Dad and spend time with them. Thanks to the generosity and selfless support of my husband, children, our family, and many wise and compassionate friends, I was given the priceless gift of time. I made several extended trips to visit them these last several months, soaking in and enjoying every moment. I enjoyed sipping morning coffee with them, talking about the upcoming day. I enjoyed preparing meals with and for them, I enjoyed sitting with them around the dinner table, talking through our day and reminiscing. I enjoyed going to Mass with them in the parish that I grew up in. In the last week of her life, I had been there on one of these visits. I worked with my Dad to help clean the windows and we made pork chop casserole together--portioning it out to freeze for them later. We laughed together even as it was clear she was struggling with her physical limitations. Two days after I left, she was admitted to the ER and from there, hospitalized. I returned to them with my family, and my kids were able to see her and tell her how much they loved her. I spent days by her bedside with my dad and siblings.

I spent some time with her later at night one night in the hospital. She began praying. Dad told me later that she would pray through many nights at home, calling out different parts of different prayers throughout the night. This particular night, she was really struggling to breathe, though, in between breaths, she would say "Help us live in Him", calling out the names of her children, her grandchildren, and her siblings. She would pray St Francis of Assisi's prayer for peace, and I would join in with her. She told me she worried about where she stood with God. I reassured her about the beautiful life she had lived, the countless lives she has touched as she's lived her faith, setting an example for others to follow and bringing true joy to our lives. I reminded her of the children she formed in the faith and the grandchildren being formed in it now. We reminisced about late night conversations with us and our teenage friends after a night out, focusing on faith. We talked about all the good she had done taking Holy Communion to Alzheimer's patients, and delivering Meals on Wheels. She seemed somewhat reassured, gave a big, peaceful smile told me she felt the love all around her. This conversation, in a darkened hospital room, holding her hand--the hand that has guided me and comforted me and encouraged me all my life-- is etched in my memory and will be one of the beautiful memories I take with me from this tremendously difficult experience.

In her last days, one of her constant prayers was asking God to "help us live in Him". She called this out in her sleep, she prayed this while struggling for breath, over and over again, repeating the names of her children and their spouses, her grandchildren, her siblings. She fought to pray these words.

Last night at 7:30, she left the hospital and was admitted to hospice. She was surrounded by the love of her family throughout her death, until the end. This time--all of it-- has been a gift that I have not even begun to appreciate--given to me by my husband, my children, family, and friends. I love my Mom. I'm 44 years old and I truly don't know how to be in this world without her. What does that even look like? She has always been my guiding beacon, the person I share my everything with--my joys, my sorrows, my fears, my greatest hopes, my biggest disappointments. She is who I talk with to make sense of my life, and now she's gone. It doesn't feel real. I had to run an errand--buy an outfit for her funeral--still, not something that feels real. I saw a woman and her adult daughter out shopping and laughing together. I nearly collapsed as all kinds of realizations rushed over me. She's seen her last Mother's Day, she's seen her last Thanksgiving, her last Christmas, her last Easter. I will never have another happy birthday call from her. I will never be able to go to Mass with her again. I will never be able to talk with her again. I will never be able to laugh with her again. Thank God Jason was there. I'm not sure I would have been able to drive home. This blog post does not do justice to the woman that she was, the impact that she has had, the love that she gave, the joy that she brought, or the loss that I feel. But it's a start.

Navigating our Brokenness: An SLE Story

2019-06-06T11:04:00.003-05:00

I don't often talk about my struggle with SLE, preferring to keep it contained in a dark little corner of my life and suffer through the inevitable flares in silence and solitude, re-emerging from my "lupus cocoon" when I've gotten through it and resume my regularly scheduled life, with those around me none the wiser. My first priority upon diagnosis years ago was my kids--I did not--do not--want them to see me as somehow vulnerable to and a victim of some stupid disease that really had no business interfering with my life. I wanted them to see that it does not limit me--setting what I hope has been an example of strength and fortitude for my kids. I've spent many years minimizing it, "proving" that it doesn't affect me, that it doesn't scare me, that it doesn't hurt me.

The thing is--if I'm being honest, none of that is true. It does all of those things--and more. I am fortunate, to be sure, that it is not worse, that it was caught before it progressed any further than it did--and it hasn't stood in the way of most of the things I've wanted to accomplish in life--things could be much, much worse and I am thankful each and every day that they aren't. Still, this last flare had me in bed for four days--unable to get up, wracked with joint pain, and perhaps the most scary for me, unable to think and process well, feeling alone and not well understood. As much as I try to limit the impact on my kids, it scares them to see me so sick from something that cannot be cured. They're old enough to know that this is not just some cold or flu I'm fighting. We joke to make light of it--and I think it helps--but it's beginning to feel different with them. They are wondering about it more and more--I could see the worry in their eyes when they looked in on me to be sure I was okay this last time. I don't know how to ease their concern, to reassure them as they grow and begin to understand the fact that I have an incurable, chronic autoimmune disease. It worries me, and I'm realizing that we are at a point in our lives that I have to stop hiding it and being more realistic about it with them. And that scares me more than anything--because now I need to face the fact that as much as I don't want this disease to affect me, I know that it does, and I know now that as much as minimizing it was good for my kids when they were younger, giving voice to it now may be what's best for their development and understanding moving forward. In giving voice to it, I run the risk of having others view me first through the lens of my illness--something I've fought hard to avoid since the time I was diagnosed. I'm fortunate--it doesn't limit me--and it's not expected to limit me--but it does affect me. It is a source of real struggle in my life--a struggle I've kept hidden for many years--and a struggle that, despite my best efforts to deny it, will always be there. It's nothing I can't handle, but I'm done handling it in secret. It's time, I think, to give voice to that struggle as a part of my truth in the hope that it will be more productive for my kids and, who knows, maybe even benefit others in some way.

I don't share this to garner sympathy--we all have our struggles, some worse than others--and all worth appreciating and honoring. I think in the midst of this last flare, it occurred to me how few people really know, understand, and appreciate the struggles that each of us endures. That takes time, attention, mutual trust, and intentional presence with others--something we rarely take the time to give. I've been doing a lot of reading that, when we boil it down, equates humanity with brokenness--we are all broken in some way-- and the struggle through that brokenness can be an opportunity to honor one another. Too often that brokenness is disregarded, glossed over, or worse, used as a weapon to de-humanize. My struggle with SLE is a primary struggle--a big part of my humanity--a part I have shielded from view--and I'm sharing it in honor of all those of us who struggle with things seen and unseen. I know that illness can be stigmatized--so can every other type of brokenness--and that stigmatization leads to some real assaults on humanity. I hope my disclosure here can serve as a small reminder to myself as well as to others to recognize that everyone we meet struggles with things seen and unseen, often those struggles are demeaned and maligned, but always those struggles are opportunities to honor our shared brokenness-our shared humanity.

Protecting our Democracy

2017-01-21T17:14:00.002-06:00

I've seen a lot of people post and/or make comments about how hard it is for them to understand why women are marching in protest of the Trump presidency. I am having a hard time understanding why anyone would begrudge a peaceful protest in a democracy that prides itself on government by the people, for the people. Now--I recognize that there were some protestors at the inauguration (not associated with the women's march) that were violent. That should not happen. Ever. Unfortunately it does happen--and, similar jaw-dropping acts of protest occurred in response to Obama. They occur in the name of people/issues/parties/platforms we support as well as in the name of people/issues/parties/platforms that we oppose. We simply see them differently and talk about them differently based on where we fall in relation to the transgressors. Not all of the protestors share the same values. Many of them disagree on fundamental aspects of what it means to be a feminist. I would be willing to bet that many of them would oppose one another on different social issues. What brings them together is the fear that this administration will continue to legitimize through rhetoric and institutionalize through policy decision-making discriminatory, racist, and sexist attitudes. If you paid any attention at all to the rhetoric of his campaign, it's a legitimate concern, whether or not you supported Trump. Not all of those who supported Trump share the same values: some embraced this rhetoric and voted for him because of it while others were disgusted with his rhetoric and voted for him despite it. We all had important reasons for casting our vote in a particular way, and these reasons were all based on our love of America. America, though, is complicated, and its best interests cannot be represented well in a polarized political environment.

Donald J. Trump is the POTUS. Many Americans have political differences with him and his administration, just as many Americans have political differences with Barack Obama and his administration. I hope that Trump does well--that he does better than I would expect based on his divisive and abusive rhetoric throughout the campaign. I truly hope and pray every day that he does well for all of America's citizens both in domestic matters and foreign affairs. That does not change the fact that I will embrace the responsibility I have as a citizen of a free democracy to hold him and his administration accountable for getting it right when it comes to the treatment of all Americans. I am concerned about civil rights under this administration. I am concerned about gender equality under this administration. I am concerned about the poorest among us under this administration. Maybe they'll surprise me--I hope that they do...and, as an educated white woman, I come from a position of privilege to this conversation--despite the clear abusive and sexist rhetoric of our POTUS--and this means that I bear even more responsibility in ensuring this accountability to all Americans. I have to do more than hope. I have to speak. I will speak in support of the current administration when/if I see them getting it right for all Americans. I will speak in opposition to the current administration when/if I see them getting it wrong. That is not just my right--it is my responsibility to be engaged as a citizen--not a member of a political party--but as a citizen of a free democracy. And I will do that. I commit to do that.

One area of concern that I am compelled to highlight at the moment is his consistent, strategic, insidious attack on journalism. Yes--journalists and news agencies have messed up. That does not mean they can't get it right. We need them to get it right. If this country needs to give anyone a second chance, it is the members of the news media. We are living in a time when the First Amendment is under attack. Our new POTUS has intentionally and systematically sought to undermine the media as dishonest. He is masterfully capitalizing on the very real problem of fake news--something that every American should be well enough educated about to discern and reject--by calling legitimate journalism "fake news" and positioning his twitter account--wrought with lies and discrepancies--as the only way to get "real news". He makes false allegations and uses fake statistics and strategically asserts that others held the positions that they never held but he himself championed (a technique called gaslighting)--and he is positioning this as "real news" as he discredits journalists that would challenge him and his worldview. He is systematically destroying the viability of our journalists to protect one of the most important elements of a free democracy--the press. What would the world be like if we only received news that was approved by those in power? There are millions of people around the world living in dictatorships that can answer that question for you if you care to ask it. A press that is free to challenge and hold to account the most powerful among us is absolutely critical to the proper functioning of a healthy democracy.

For those that have been paying attention, you realize that there is a website called Trump News. There was a book, written by Brandon Christopher Hall being sold at the Smithsonian on inauguration day that was filled with falsehoods, ranging from denying Trump's role in the Birther Movement to grossly downplaying the difference in the popular versus electoral vote, denying the strong evidence of Russian involvement in the election. In short, it creates a narrative of historical events that is wrought with untruths. It has since been removed, though its presence there is unsettling. He gave a speech this weekend to the CIA railing against the "dishonest media". He praised Fox News for the "positive review" of his inaugural speech. He gathered the heads of major news organizations during his transition to berate them for their coverage of him. He has given 1 press conference since July. He refused to answer a question from a major news network calling CNN "fake news". He denies that he said and did the things he's said and done--for which we have evidence that he's said and done--and, realizing that they are not well received, he then calls journalists that report on these things liars and perpetrators of "fake news". His words have had an impact--because words always do, and words from powerful people certainly do. Some of those people who hate CNN's liberal slant have used these words from our POTUS to completely discredit it and there have been reports that some have complained that it is being shown on televisions in public places. Whether you like or hate CNN--that's a real threat to our democracy. The systematic de-legitimization of news organizations that report on news and issues that are unfavorable to you and the praising of organizations that portray you positively is strategic and dangerous. He's grooming media outlets, rewarding those that portray him and his agenda in a positive light with access and words that legitimate them and he punishes those that cover stories that are unfavorable to him by refusing access-even during rare press conferences--and using his position of power to talk in ways that discredit them. These moves are more than just face-threatening...they will affect their bottom line and ultimately their viability...unless they "fall in line". What news outlet can survive that doesn't have access to the POTUS? We don't want a press that "falls in line". That is not conducive to a free democracy.

He is considering re-locating the Press Corps out of the White House. Just this weekend he issued an order forbidding government agencies from re-tweeting in response to a RT from Parks and Rec comparing crowd sizes to Obama's inauguration and Trump's. Should they be re-tweeting these things? Probably not--it's in poor taste. Should the POTUS issue an executive order censoring them on a social media platform? You decide. For me, I am concerned that this is even on his radar given all the other issues that this country faces--and that this administration faces. This may seem silly, but it belies a more sinister tendency--silence those who would oppose, challenge, or critique him. I hope you are getting a little uncomfortable as you read this--it's something that should make all of us squirm a little, no matter who you supported or what your political motivations/tendencies/leanings are. This is not a political issue, it's an issue of freedom and democracy. Check out the press conference held by White House Press Secretary for the Trump Administration, Sean Spicer in which he stubbornly asserts a falsehood about the size of the inaugural crowd in order to advance a narrative that inflates enthusiasm about Trump's presidency, refuses to answer questions, then threatens the press if they contradict that narrative: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/01/21/trumps-press-secretary-lashes-out-at-press-calling-crowd-coverage-shameful-and-wrong/?hpid=hp_hp-bignews4_spicer628pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&tid=a_inl&utm_term=.64e0ee5f8211.

As the weekend has progressed, I've updated some examples--on this weekend's Sunday morning talk shows his former campaign manager and current Counselor to the President, Kellyann Conway, persisted in her attempts to lay the groundwork to allow this administration to make any claim, no matter its veracity, in support of its preferred narrative, and to de-legitimize any attempt to criticize it. Her argument? Falsehoods are "alternative facts". There is no such thing--you are free to offer different interpretations of facts--you are not free to make them up as you go along. This tactic of disinformation has been a mainstay of this campaign and appears to be the cornerstone of this administration--and it, too, is dangerous. Even if not all Americans fall for it, some will. Some that don't fall for it will write it off as relatively innocuous. It will sow doubt and discord among the American people, not unify us. It will create a perpetual deniability for this administration, deniability of the most obvious and blatant facts and create an environment in which our government cannot be held fully accountable for its (in)actions. It feels like we're walking right into this new era of a government controlled narrative with our eyes wide shut. It's dangerous--and I hope that we can move beyond these polarizing political labels of Trump supporter vs Trump opposer or Democrat vs Republican or liberal vs conservative or any other number of polarizing labels in enough time to engage the issues that are now sitting before us as American people who care deeply about a free democracy in light of our new president and his administration. I hope we care more deeply about our democracy than about our political party. I hope that's true.

We don't have to agree politically to agree on the need to protect the tenets of democracy. We need a press free to investigate, report on, and challenge this administration--any administration. We don't need to agree politically to respect each others' right to voice their concerns. We don't need to agree politically to engage in thoughtful, productive discussions with one another. I've said this before and I'll say it again--I don't care who you voted for in this election or the reasons for that vote--unless of course, you care to engage in a thoughtful productive discussion about it that honors the legitimacy of all perspectives. It is precisely the expression of, mindful listening to, and thoughtful consideration of these differing perspectives, experiences, and worldviews that drives a healthy democracy. If you want to engage in that, that's great. That's productive. That's important--that has the potential for dialogue. I'm all for that. That's how we protect the land of the free, home of the brave.

Castle Christmas Greeting 2016

2016-12-13T12:21:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas! We were a little late getting Christmas cards ordered, so opted to try to spread holiday cheer in a little different way this year! We are thankful for a blessed year--our family celebrated Kathy's parents 60th wedding anniversary and Jason's dad's retirement! Our nephew/cousin, Nick, graduated from high school and began college. We've enjoyed wonderful time with family and friends all year, and have had some adventures as we spent some time in South Dakota as a family. Kathy and Jason took a trip to Philadelphia late this year, and we are looking forward to a family trip with Jason's parents to Ireland late next year.

We wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and hope you enjoy this short Christmas greeting, set to our family's favorite Christmas carol, from our family to yours:

Videos from Facebook 2008-2016: A Walk Down Memory Lane

2016-12-08T23:05:00.001-06:00

2008-2009: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts 2008-2009

2016-12-08T23:04:00.003-06:00

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 8:56pm CST

Ava loves to help put groceries away...today, as she pulled some of Jason's deodorant out of the sack she yells out, just as pleased as can be, "Look Daddy, you have new BO!"

Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 7:58pm CST

Jason told Tyler if he picked up his kleenex he could stay up 1 minute longer. Ty, in the spirit of a true negotiater, says, "Nah, it has to be longer". Jason says, "Fine, 1 minute, 1 second". Tyler, in a voice dripping with victory replies"Yeah...that's what I'M talkin' about" as he struts his way to the garbage can with the kleenex.

Friday, December 25, 2009 at 7:56pm CST

Ty and Julia playing Star Wars Legos on the Wii: Ty- "Come with me, Julia, or else I'll shoot ya". Julia- "It's not me playing, Ty, it's Dad". Ty- "Come with me, Julia, or else I'll shoot your Dad". My son.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 9:40am CST

is watching the kids "practice" for Christmas morning...and am reminded of me and my sisters trying to figure out the fastest way to get Mom and Dad and the boys up on Christmas morning...usually divide and conquer worked the best...

Thursday, December 10, 2009 at 2:39pm CST

Ty and Julia just got married. Julia in a fancy green dress, "pearls" and fancy hair. Ty in Nike shorts, no shirt, a Superman cape and a top hat. Ava was the flower girl in her unicorn costume from last year.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009 at 11:29am CST

me "Ava, did you pee on the floor". Ava "Yes". Me "Ava, you can't pee on the floor". Ava" Why not?". Me "Because it's gross". Ava "Oh. Okay". Glad we got that squared away. Again.

Friday, December 4, 2009 at 3:58pm CST

Julia is making a card for Santa to take to Jesus, as long as he can find his way to heaven. I think Rudolph's nose can light the way...

Friday, December 4, 2009 at 3:28pm CST

Julia just asked me if I knew how St Nick got rosy cheeks. "How?" I say. "He was whipped while he was in jail". So much for a bowl full of jelly.

Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 7:20pm CST

we got our letters from Santa today...and, when Tyler found out he was on the Nice List, he responded with..."hmmm...I thought for sure I would be on the Naughty List this year..." then followed it up with an involved "victory" dance.

Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 2:56pm CST

me: Tyler, stop licking yourself. Tyler: It makes me shiny.

Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 8:11am CST

Tyler had a dream last night that one of his friends at school needed help. I asked if he went to help her. He said, well, no. You wouldn't let me. Then he glared at me. I wonder if Spiderman's Mom felt like this?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 3:38pm CST

Tyler just walked up to me with a rose between his teeth and said he was not just any dancer. He is a boy dancer. So suave.

Monday, November 30, 2009 at 8:33am CST

so, Ava bites Julia. Hard. When we reprimanded her, she screams at the top of her lungs, as she's crying hysterically "but I'm a vampire! Vampires bite!" I'm ready to move onto Rudolph and Frosty for a little while...

Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 2:11pm CST

absolutely LOVES the flowers that my son picked for me to thank me for my hard work. I don't even care that they're all dead. They sit prominently on my desk in all their brown glory. I love these moments!

My son's assessment of me working: "It must be boring hitting those keys all day long". I guess I can see now why most kids want to be firefighters or police officers or some other such career.

Friday, November 20, 2009 at 3:09pm CST

has one child planning to run away to Mars and another planning to run away to the outer ring of Saturn. Apparently, nowhere on earth is far enough away for them right now. I think they're planning to pack pizza.

Friday, November 13, 2009 at 8:04pm CST

loves what a strategic thinker Tyler is...Jason is making a fire in the fireplace, and Tyler comes down with a big glass of water and hands it to Jason. He very deliberately (and in the deepest voice possible) tells Jason not to drink the water. It's there in case something goes wrong and we all get burned.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 10:24am CST

Ava had a bad dream last night. So bad, she is having a hard time telling is what it was. All she'll say is "Something bad happened to you guys". I just hate those kinds of "monsters"...hard to fight a child's bad dreams.

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 1:07pm CST

just learned that Ty has an imaginary girlfriend named Atricia. Apparently, she is coming over for a visit so he's cleaning his room. I already love her!

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 6:58pm CST

so, Ava bonks her head and is crying. Her big brother decides he needs to make her feel better, so, he begins a comedy routine that is quite extensive and, the grand finale is him depantsing himself. Anything for love.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 at 3:34pm CDT

Tyler asked me today what people do if Plan B fails? Hmmmm....

Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 9:17pm CDT

just had a major parental misfire...we are attempting to teach our kids the importance of saving their money for the things they want. Ty wants the Rancor from Jabba's Palace...we found out today he is a third of the way there. In his excitement, he screams out "I've been stealing money like crazy to get that Rancor!!!" WHAT??? Turns out he finds money on the ground and sneaks it into his piggy bank...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 8:32am CDT

Ava has gotten dressed in her swimsuit every day for the past week and a half hoping to go swimming. Each morning I look at her and say that today's not the day, since we need to get everyone healthy first. She looks at me, smiles and asks when the pool opens. Every day.

Sunday, October 4, 2009 at 7:48pm CDT

Julia just asked me if she needs to get a shot for leprosy. Apparently, we are combining the hype about H1N1 shots with religion class.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at 11:58am CDT

thinks the secrets that I hear from my three year old are SO worth the ketchup stain I now have on my shirt.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 2:35pm CDT

Note to self...when you ask your 3 year old if she needs to go potty and she answers, "Well...long pause"...chances are good she needs to get to the bathroom, and your best served to not get distracted with something else until she gets there.

Monday, September 21, 2009 at 4:41pm CDT

Julia and I prayed the rosary together for the first time this afternoon in Adoration. It was one of the sweetest moments I've experienced thusfar.

Friday, August 21, 2009 at 3:07pm CDT

wonders how to answer the following question posed by my son: "Mom, can you sleep at my camp out all night tonight? Dad won't miss you, we'll make a "paper you". He won't even know you're gone!"

Friday, August 21, 2009 at 12:46pm CDT

suspects that my three year old is not feeling well, judging by the uncharacteristic fit she threw at Barnes and Noble today along with her even more uncharacteristic threat to burp in my face while kicking and screaming when I told her it was nap time. Did I mention I'll be happy to get out this evening?

Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 5:38pm CDT

is watching Ava sleep on the beanbag as she tries to recover from no nap and her first swim lesson. Jason has Julia and Ty at gymnastics, so I get to work and consider just how great it is to see your 3 year old so full of excitement and joy all day that her little body just needed a good rest. Such a peaceful feeling!

Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 7:36am CDT

just overheard Julia tell Ty "I like you, but, I just don't want you killing my baby, that's all". Sounds reasonable.

Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 6:58am CDT

Tyler just told Ava that if she didn't let Mommy take her shower, Mommy will smell just awful. Like rotten bananas and bird feathers. That's nice. Great way to start my day. Guess I'll get my shower in now.

Monday, July 20, 2009 at 4:51pm CDT

was hit in the head with a lightsaber while running errands as Tyler attempted to obliterate a fly. Lightsabers have already been banned from the van for this very reason. I wonder if strip searching your children for contraband before entering the van

Sunday, July 12, 2009 at 10:21am CDT

just watched Ty tear through his birthday presents. It's hilarious to watch, once he figures out what something is, he drops it, half wrapped still, screams "thank you!" and moves on. It looks chaotic, but there is a certain precision to his system know

Monday, June 29, 2009 at 7:18pm CDT

is watching my 6 year old daughter beat up on the punching bag while listening to Just a Girl by No Doubt...my little girl :-)

Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 8:44pm CDT

loves that when Julia was asked by her t-ball coach what Mommy got for her birthday and she responded "a punching bag", the entire parent section laughed, paused, then asked her where she and Daddy bought it...

Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 7:54pm CDT

Tyler just informed me that he gave his stuffed Snoopy a bath by licking him all over. Now he needs a hairdryer.

Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 4:08pm CDT

Ty just killed the evil Bane to "smithereems" on his Batman videogame then had Jason take a picture of his destruction so he could remember it forever. Parental call= blow off as all in good fun or begin therapy? ;-)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 6:04pm CDT

loves that Ty is excited about Daddy's Master Tacklebox! We're getting ready for some Father's Day fishing, and Tyler is pulling this and that from Daddy's tackleboxes to make his "ultimate fisher guy's box"!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 5:39pm CDT

has just sent her first born baby girl off to her very first overnight at a friend's house. While I suppose I should feel good at the exuberance and complete lack of apprehension she demonstrated...it still stings a little!

Friday, May 1, 2009 at 10:30am CDT

just watched Ava trip for the 6th time today and, as she pulled herself up, the tears sprang to her eyes as she says to me, "Mommy, walking's not good!" Apparently not today, sweetie!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 at 10:05pm CST

is trying to get over the lecture her 6 year old gave her about putting others first...Jason and I need to learn how to do this so she can have a millkshake!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 9:43pm CST

thinks it strange that Julia calls Jason- King, herself- Queen, Ty- Prince, Ava- Princess and Mommy- Jester. Seriously?

Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 6:03pm CST

is being told by her 6 year old Diva that she is the Director of this whole shin dig...after effectis of American Idol Karaoke

Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 4:22pm CST

has finished putting everything together and is pumped to go tomorrow to pick out Julia's new pet fish...Lucy!

Monday, December 22, 2008 at 11:09am CST

is wondering why Ty keeps asking if he's on the naughty list...

Monday, December 22, 2008 at 7:33am CST

is laughing because all the presents we so carefully wrapped last night were strewn all over the house this morning...victims of the kids' excitement!

Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 8:37pm CST

is touched that Julia decided to decorate our sliding glass door with the Nativity Scene instead of Santa.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:08pm CST

is giggling as she listens to Jason trying to (unsuccessfully) convince Ava that she has to earn her Tinkerbelle undies..."no poopie in the potty, no Tinks"!

2010: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts from 2010

2016-12-08T23:04:00.001-06:00

Wednesday, December 22, 2010 at 10:23am CST

had an interesting conversation with the kids on the way to school this morning speculating what the activity is like at the North Pole right now. After talking about what the elves are doing, the reindeer exercises (to get ready for the big night), the packing of the sleigh...Julia's pretty sure that Mrs. Claus is stressed out. I tend to agree with her.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 11:30am CST

so, Ava is convinced that we live in China. Hmmmm...Nebraska---China. I am struggling to see the parallel here.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:01pm CST

the kids are singing "pee, poop, diarrhea" while they sniff each other's feet. It's like I'm being transported back to my school bus riding days. If I can transport back in time, these are not the days I would pick...

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:27am CST

Is taking Ava down to campus today so she can partake in an end of semester pizza party. She insists upon wearing her Santa dress. What do you want to bet I'll be carrying her halfway across campus to avoid "wrinkling" the dress only to leave the party with pizza sauce stains all over it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 at 5:39pm CST

the kids just came out into the kitchen, eyed the dinner table, and told me that the food looks good, but my presentation was sloppy. Seriously? Perhaps family nights watching Chopped on the Food Network need to cease and desist.

Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 10:42am CST

Julia asked me why God gave me a "bump" in my nose. Why, to make sure there was room for all my awesomeness, of course.

Saturday, December 4, 2010 at 6:28pm CST

Julia just told me that she thinks that she has a bigger problem with sugar plums than most kids. They've already started dancing in her head.

Friday, December 3, 2010 at 9:13am CST

Kathy Ford Castle added a new photo to the album: December 2010.

The kids got their letter from Santa...and Ty is just now learning that he made the good list this year....whew!

Friday, December 3, 2010 at 8:20am CST

I just gave Ava a kiss. She vigorously wipes her cheek, and I look at her quizzically. "Don't worry Mom, your kiss is still there, I just had to get rid of your saliva".

Friday, November 26, 2010 at 10:43pm CST

loves this time of year! The kids made their Christmas lists...Julia's includes "a merry Christmas for everyone", Ava's is "whatever you want to bring me is fine, Santa" and Tyler's is "one of everything, please". Little stinkpots.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010 at 7:16pm CST

Julia asked me if she is old enough to marry, and Tyler asked me if he is old enough to have Tur-duck-in.

Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 2:29pm CST

The kids are playing freeze tag. Poor Ava got "frozen" and after a few minutes, screams out "GUYS! Can I go potty!!??!??" As Julia and Tyler were debating this new gliche to their game, I pulled rank just in the nick of time...

Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 7:45am CST

Ty has discovered that gas is a great way to mortify his sisters in front of their friends. This is a power I was hoping he would never discover, and now that he has, I fear that no amount of reprimanding him will be enough to sufficiently mediate the satisfaction that he will derive from this in the years to come.

Friday, November 19, 2010 at 3:10pm CST

in an exasperated attempt to get Ava to stop jumping on the couch, I said "Stop it or you'll break your neck! That means you won't be able to walk or talk!" Tyler says, in a very serious voice "walk and talk rhyme. But this is not about rhymes, Mom". Yes, I know son.

Thursday, November 18, 2010 at 11:20am CST

I walked by Ava and hear her muttering the following: "I am the boss of this family. No one else. Me." This seems diabolical to me, and I'm pretty sure that Jason and I will need to plan some sort of counter-measure.

Monday, November 15, 2010 at 5:15pm CST

loves that Ava still cannot go to the bathroom without screaming "I have to go pee!!!!" at the top of her lungs. It's as if the process is not legitimate without this step.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010 at 10:32pm CST

Tyler got into trouble and spent some time in his room. After awhile, he comes down and hands me 11 cents to make up for his behavior. I explained to him that the money in his hand wasn't important and that he needs to be concerned about who he is and the choices he makes. He looked at me tearfully and told me he loved me. My concern is where in the world did my son get the idea that money could solve this problem?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010 at 8:06am CDT

told Jason I thought we might want to get up earlier to avoid being late. Tyler replied "The lady has a point, Dad".

Monday, November 1, 2010 at 7:55am CDT

just asked the kids what they were asking Santa for. Here's the impossible response I get: Julia "A golden retriever" (never mind that Ty's allergic), Tyler "Just one thing? Simple--Everything!" And Ava "I don't know--I'll get back to you". Looks like Mom and Dad have some expectation management work to begin.

Friday, October 29, 2010 at 8:04pm CDT

Tyler just came running down the stairs screaming "don't you know you can't start Star Wars without me?" It was frighteningly similar in tone to Dallas of the Outsiders screaming "don't you know a rumble ain't a rumble without me?"

Monday, October 11, 2010 at 5:10pm CDT

Tyler knows that the girls are hiding from him in their closet, yet, he sits here with me, eating candy corn. He apparently is all good with them hanging in their closet...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 at 7:46am CDT

Ava got mad at me, scowled, whirled around and air guitarred me. I have no response for this.

Friday, October 1, 2010 at 6:14pm CDT

Tyler just told me that he's pretending that he's a college teacher. My heart swelled with pride as I said "Ty! How sweet that you want to be like Mommy!" He quickly replies "What are you talking about Mom? I want to be like Indiana." Nice.

Thursday, September 30, 2010 at 7:31pm CDT

is listening to "Tales from the Playground". Tyler has Generals, Commanders and Police that he controls, as the Controller of all the Good Guys. When someone was accused of causing some form of mayhem, Tyler responds "Hmmm...that's my Commander. I'll have to have a little talk with him".

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 9:09pm CDT

Jason told Tyler that hot lunch tomorrow is sloppy joes. That kid didn't stop laughing for at least a half an hour. He went to bed still thinking that Jason was making it up.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 10:17am CDT

listened in on the kids' discussion last night right before bed and is still smiling because of it. Tyler told Julia that he misses her during the day, and, once in a while, he feels like he might cry because he misses her so much. But he doesn't. Julia advised him that he can stop himself from crying when he wants to keep it private by blinking his eyes real fast. Ava misses them both "super bad".

Friday, September 24, 2010 at 8:33am CDT

opened my eyes this morning to see Ava's smiling face inches from mine, giggling, and saying "Mommy, you're better than I love you". Sure beats the impromptu early morning haircut I woke up to last week...

Friday, September 24, 2010 at 8:02am CDT

loves that my house is a disaster, my parents will be here in a few hours, and my Mom has "ordered" me to sit down and have a cup of coffee rather than clean...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 at 6:53pm CDT

Julia is vying for an Academy Award right now...playing the part of the girl who's back was broken by her brother just as she was getting ready to clean up her toys. She's actually quite good.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 8:11pm CDT

Tyler just sang..."I need home-cookin...and a girl who's real good lookin'"....Ummmmmmmmmmmmm

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 7:25pm CDT

Tyler came home from school today and told us that his teacher sprinkles magical dust in their hair that makes them smarter and helps them to listen better. Ava came home today and told me that they checked her hair for bugs...interesting, unique perspectives on the day...

Friday, September 17, 2010 at 8:20am CDT

While at the store last night, Tyler told me I was evil. I, of course, refuted this comment. "In fact, I am arguably the source of all things "good" in your life". Julia responds "No, I'm pretty sure you're evil, Mom". I guess I know where I stand in the scheme of things around here.

Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 8:22am CDT

talked all about field trips this morning at breakfast. Julia's all psyched to learn about bugs at the Nature Center, and that I get to go with her (wonder how long that will last)...and when Tyler heard he will be riding a bus to a pumpkin patch out of Lincoln, his eyes got as big as saucers and he informed that he can't do anything illegal like that. Smart kid.

Sunday, September 12, 2010 at 6:03pm CDT

changing the kids' bed sheets is like going on an anthropological study with the varied representations of culture and endemic populations of stuffed animals residing within and between them...I need to start taking field notes...

Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:54pm CDT

my heart just melted. Tonight at bedtime, Julia looked at me through teary eyes and thanked me for being with her at the hospital. Then told me that if I see her crying, not to worry about it, because they're tears of joy. I <3 that girl!

Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 4:53pm CDT

Tyler and the one he calls "Crazy Dude" prayed for Julia today at school. Pretty cool. And, he saved some girl named Lillie's life. That or he walked her to the nurse's office. It depends on whose version you go with.

Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 3:06pm CDT

Julia hasn't eaten anything for more than 2 days. She has spent the bulk of that time in the bathroom. She starts to feel a little better, and I ask "Jules, what can I get you to eat?" She replies "gummy bears". Yeah. That's gonna happen. Like I want to see that in your throw up bowl. Gross.

Saturday, September 4, 2010 at 6:31am CDT

woke up to witness an unprecedented level of consideration being demonstrated at our house. As Julia is throwing up into her bowl, she stops in between heaves to tell me how thankful she is to have the bowl to throw up in, and that it's really best to throw up in a bowl or on a hard floor (as opposed to carpet). When Tyler learns of Julia's escapades, he remarks "congratulations on a good throw up, Jules".

Sunday, August 29, 2010 at 11:19am CDT

Julia told me that she is going to have lots of babies, and it's my job to help her when she gets stressed out.

Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 10:54am CDT

Ava is made at me. She made me a black heart and told me it was bad for me. Great.

Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 7:36am CDT

is wishing happy 8th birthday to my beautiful Julia! I can't believe that 8 years ago today, I became a Mom for the first time...we love you Jules!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 3:44pm CDT

today, Tyler learned that, though tackling and tickling your sister at recess seems like a good idea initially, is generally frowned upon at school

Friday, August 20, 2010 at 7:52pm CDT

Tyler is trash talking Winnie The Pooh on the V Smile. It's disturbingly funny.

Thursday, August 19, 2010 at 6:36am CDT

torture is listening to your tough as nails son trying not to cry because he 'isn't going to see my very much when school starts'.

Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 7:33pm CDT

just told Ava that she'll get a tummy ache if she eats too much candy. She replies "Mom, that's only if I'm having babies". Hmmm...

Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 9:38am CDT

nothing warms my heart like watching my kids attempting to return the wink I just gave them...

Monday, August 9, 2010 at 7:36pm CDT

Julia made friends with an older boy at Lost In Fun today. As we were leaving, he walked over to her and said "I'll tell you my name when you meet me here Friday at 4:30". Jason told Julia, matter of factly "Looks like you're going to stand up your first boy, Jules".

Saturday, August 7, 2010 at 6:32pm CDT

is fairly certain that, if there ever was hope that I would win the "2010 Mom of the Year Award" (unlikely, I know), it was erased this evening at 5:30 Mass when Ava screamed out "In your face, Mom" as she slapped me in the face. Good times. Good times.

Saturday, July 31, 2010 at 6:37pm CDT

Jason just told the kids that there could be no talking. As if this would solve the noise problem. Tyler is now groaning at the top of his lungs just to make a point.

Friday, July 30, 2010 at 9:50pm CDT

is thinking that kids say the sweetest things when they are falling to sleep. But Tyler's comment "That tooter saved the day, Mom" as he drifted off to slumber is not one of those sweet things...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 7:57pm CDT

Tyler told some kid on the playground "hey, Man, you don't want to frustration my Mom". Apparently, my reputation precedes me.

Monday, July 12, 2010 at 4:24pm CDT

Tyler got a huge watergun for his birthday. As he is laughing his diablolical/hysterical laugh and filling up the ginormous tank on the thing with water, Julia is eyeing him suspiciously and making up about a thousand rules of "fair play". I don't think he's listening...

Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 4:12pm CDT

wishes Ava would quit calling me her "efil fillain". She also keeps jabbing me with an imaginary inflatable sword to complete her mission.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 12:12pm CDT

Jason had the van radio station turned to a country station. Ty gets in the car, turns his nose up in distaste and told me to play some rock n roll. My boy.

Friday, July 2, 2010 at 8:56pm CDT

Ava's singing Cheeseburger in Paradise, Tyler is singing Hungry Like The Wolf and Julia is singing Cecelia. My work here is done.

Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 2:22pm CDT

listening to Tyler, Julia and Ava play doctor. Tyler "fixed" the girls and now they won't pay. Tyler explains that he knows they're too poor to pay...he had heard this from Julia's husband, apparently. "Do you know how I know this? Because I AM your husband!" I swear, we don't watch soap operas...so I don't know where they come up with all these dramatic twists and turns!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 3:20pm CDT

3 times I asked Ava to go to the bathroom before she went out to run through the sprinkler. 3 times, she told me she didn't have to go. 3 times. I set up the sprinkler, walk out to see how they are 5 minutes later, Ava dances up to me and yells "I just peed".

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 5:17pm CDT

Tyler killed a butterfly. Then he changed his mind and tried to revive him with a fresh strawberry.

Monday, June 21, 2010 at 2:07pm CDT

Me to Ava "if you wanna play with the big kids, you gotta clean with the big kids". Ava to me "Big kids are boring".

Friday, June 18, 2010 at 4:00pm CDT

the kids made me a surprise "meal" consisting of honey nut cheerios, sunflower seeds, graham crackers, Ritz crackers and cookies. I am to wash this down with a 2 gallon glass of milk.

Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 7:56pm CDT

nothing warms your heart like watching your Mom playing Mother May I with your kids. And watching them fall when they try to take scissor steps makes it even a little funnier...

Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 2:11pm CDT

is enjoying having my parents in town. We were able to take a tour of Memorial Stadium this morning, sort of a last minute adventure...very fun! Grilling out T-bones and broccoli tonight!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010 at 1:32pm CDT

walked in to the girls' room to find Ava shut in the closet, surrounded by stuffed animals, holding a flashlight, serving tea to her "friends". I was half expecting to find ET among the guests...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010 at 10:27am CDT

is amazed at my kids' ability to re-frame a situation into their unique perspective. I walked out and looked in the fridge and noted that we were out of cheese. Tyler walked out and looked into the fridge and declared that something strange had happened to our refrigerator. The cheese has disappeared. He is now in the process of solving this "mystery".

Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 9:34am CDT

new summer rule: "When daddy can't take you fishing, you cannot substitute the experience by pulling the guppies out of the fish tank with your hands and drying them off with paper towels".

Friday, May 28, 2010 at 3:54pm CDT

Tyler just came running upstairs yelling for Dad. I told him that Dad was working and that I would help him. Exasperated, he comes running up the stairs holding two obscure Star Wars figure guys. He says "Okay, I need to know if these are good guys or bad guys and blah blah blah you don't know. I need Dad". I guess he told me.

Friday, May 28, 2010 at 1:53pm CDT

Tyler just walked up to me and told me to be careful because our house is full of booby traps. I know, their names are Julia, Ty and Ava.

Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 7:43pm CDT

just heard Jason tell Tyler that he's asking to get into trouble. I then heard Tyler say "I don't think I'd ever ask to get into trouble, Dad".

Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 12:02am CDT

Julia asked me today if I would still be teaching college when she goes to college. I said, "I don't know, I think so". She responds with "Well, I want you to teach me Mom, so, you need to still be teaching then"...Hmmm...thought I was teaching you now...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 9:18pm CDT

has Tyler convinced that I have eyes in the back of my head. He believes that when I became a mom, they magically appeared. Today, while at the zoo, he asked if he could wait for me and Ava in the play area while we went to the bathroom. Umm....no. His loud response? "Mom! Just use the eye in the back of your head to keep an eye on me! It doesn't ALWAYS have to be getting me in trouble!"

Saturday, May 1, 2010 at 10:20am CDT

Julia got clocked the other day at the Children's Museum...totally smashed her nose up. After getting through all the tears, she looks at me, all happy like and says "Mom! I hope my nose will look like yours now!" Ummmm...wow. Thanks, kiddo.

is re-instituting Kids Cooking Nights for Fridays this summer...the kids have been working up their recipes all winter long...

Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 3:36pm CDT

Julia's words of wisdom today "this guy came in and told us that we have three needs...food, shelter and clothing. But, he's wrong. We need love. Without that, we wouldn't even be alive". Ava's words of wisdom today "Mommy? Don't throw up because it tastes bad".

Monday, April 26, 2010 at 3:45pm CDT

would not let Ava have M&M's today given that she threw up this morning. This decision was met with the most pathetic look in the world and an acid "You're not a very nice Mama!". Currently biting my lip to contain the laughter building up inside...

Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 11:04am CDT

While I was gone at Aunt Anne's Shower yesterday with Julia, Tyler and Ava took one of Ava's dresses and attached a paper head and paper legs and arms to it. This is Tyler's girlfriend. She is now present at all our family gatherings.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 6:13pm CDT

just said, in complete exasperation "Stop Asking Questions!" To which Ty replied, in all seriousness, "What is questions?"...and Ava echoed "Yeah, what is questions?". I have nothing more left today.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 12:48pm CDT

Ava just sang "here comes the bride, big fat and wide". Thank you, first grade boys. Thank you very much for giving my 3 year old this fabulous outlook. Now, enjoy your upcoming high pitched voice, zit filled, gangly early teen years. Then see how big, fat and wide the bride is. Sheesh.

Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 8:46pm CDT

Ty walked up to me tonight and said, "You know Mom, we don't have to wait until night time to give each other a hug and kiss". No, bud, we don't. Hang on a minute while my heart finishes melting...

Friday, April 9, 2010 at 6:17pm CDT

I heard Ava screaming bloody murder, so I went running upstairs to find that Ava had bitten Mickey Mouse and Julia had lectured her about it. Tyler (Micky's owner) was sitting next to Micky looking concerned. Now Mickey has a band aid with red marker on it attached to his head while he recovers under a blanket. As if these guys don't create enough "real" drama to deal with!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 10:38pm CDT

is reminiscing about the baby days...my youngest baby girl is turning 4 this summer and idolozes my oldest baby girl who is listening to the Jonas Brothers and talking about boyfriends...8 going on 16...and my son is talking about protecting his sisters...such a far cry from changing diapers and reading Goodnight Moon.

Sunday, April 4, 2010 at 8:31am CDT

The Easter Bunny dropped a bunch of jelly beans all over the floor again...he's much too jittery when he hides his eggs. Tyler just informed me that he is going to go "watch" his candy to make sure nothing happens to it. The girls have been "accidentally" eating candy all morning. Happy Easter everyone!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010 at 12:01pm CDT

Tyler asked for a girl's phone number today. Of course, she didn't know it. So, he asked her Mom. Her Mom replies "It's in your preschool list". Ty responds "Why won't you give me your number?" This child needs some coaching on "smoothness".

Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 8:02pm CDT

Tyler "Does Indiana Jones have a Mom?" Me-"Of course he does, someone had to give birth to him!" Tyler "His dad could have". After beginning to say that this was anatomically impossible, I stopped short, realizing the trap I was walking myself into. Instead, I replied "Dads don't have what it takes to give birth". Talk about stategic ambiguity...

Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 10:43pm CDT

Tyler and I were talking today about "tears of joy". He told me that the only time he ever had tears of joy was when he and Daddy completed all the levels on Star Wars Wii. I love that kid.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 2:24pm CDT

"Mom, are all kings fat? Mom, why are leprechauns all fast? Mom, Why are leprechauns so small? Mom, Why don't leprechauns give us their gold? Mom, why do we take leprechauns gold? Mom, can we go to the end of a rainbow? Mom, what's Jesus' phone number?" That was one of the longest car rides ever. And I've never felt so inept.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 2:50pm CDT

so, I'm cleaning Tyler's face. He yells, "Hey, don't do that Woman!". Hmmm...High time for a little heart to heart, my young son.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 at 6:58pm CST

Just read to the kids that one particular type of dinosaur was over 12,000 lbs. Ty says "Whoa. Is that even bigger than YOU, Mom?". Thanks for that. Guess I'll hit the gym 5 days a week instead of 3 from now on.

Monday, March 1, 2010 at 7:28pm CST

Ava and Julia are trying to decide which sticker packets each one gets. Ava says "Give me one!" Julia responds "Just a minute, let me find the worst one". Ava says, matter of factly, "Oh, but, I really don't like worstest ones". Seems reasonable.

Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 1:01pm CST

The kids made a "To Do" list today. Top on the list was "Get Dirty". Strange that they need to remind themselves to do this.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 5:24pm CST

Julia gets in the van today after school and promptly informs me that she's going to have kids without getting married?? I get home and, as I'm processing this, Tyler asked me if I peed in the chair?? Ava then punched me hard and told me she liked my booty.

Monday, February 22, 2010 at 7:33am CST

had another night filled with steam showers, "looking at the stars" to get cold air and vomiting (Ava). Woke up to find our pet fish nearly dead..spent the morning doing emergency fish revival so Julia could say good-bye. I'm taking Julia to the dentist today where she will get her first shot of Novacain. This was not the way I had hoped to kick off the week...let's hope for an early week turnaround!

Friday, February 19, 2010 at 9:28am CST

Ava climbed into my lap, snuggled into the cutest ball you've ever seen and said "Mommy...I have a teeny tiny bit of pee pee in my pants". Thanks for the heads up, Monkey.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010 at 1:07pm CST

Ava keeps asking me to tickle her booty. Loudly.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 7:00pm CST

pensively considering what I just witnessed--Julia coming out of the kitchen after finishing dinner waving her hands in the air and singing "slimy hands" over and over again. Then, she falls into the wall--hands first--and runs upstairs dragging them across the wall. I have no more questions about why I feel the need (though certainly not the motivation) to re-paint every 6 months.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 3:51pm CST

Julia, while doing her religion homework, says to me in the sweetest voice "Mommy, and it's okay if I don't spell it right, because God will always know what I'm trying to say". So true, Little One. So true.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 2:59pm CST

is listening to Ty (he's 5) and Jason (he's 35) negotiate the finer points of Star Wars Legos. I can't help but smile listening to my boys discuss all things Jedi.

Monday, February 15, 2010 at 5:42pm CST

had a nice early evening workout at the Y, came home to find the kids running "Julia's Fantastic Tattoo Shop". I am apparently next in line for one of these enviable tats.

Saturday, February 13, 2010 at 6:35pm CST

just got smacked by a flying Ty...jump off the stairs, down to a somersault and ending with super high jump...as I was trying to get to the stairs. He was doing his signature move and I got in the way. He told me that his moves are pretty hard on the head. Indeed.

Saturday, February 13, 2010 at 4:43pm CST

came running downstairs at the sound of a loud CRASH only to find that the kids are playing The Olympics. Our house is apparently a skii jump.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 7:11pm CST

just caught Tyler fantasizing (talking aloud, just like his mama) about the day that he owns his own house and can play the Wii whenever he wants. In this fantasy, I lived next door and brought him pie whenever he wanted. Nice to know I have a place...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 10:16am CST

mentioned that we were thinking about planning our first real camping trip as a family this summer. No sooner were the words out of my mouth did Ty come downstairs, backpack packed, hat on, sleeping bag in tow as he asked "When's summer?".

Saturday, February 6, 2010 at 11:43am CST

Ava just handed me a dress. I asked her "Are you gonna be Cinderella?" She replies "No, I'm gonna rock n roll in it". That's my girl!

Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 5:56pm CST

I love our dinner conversation. Julia muses "So and so keeps hiding his head from me". Me "Hmmm...when did that start?" Julia "Yesterday". Tyler reasons "He probably saw his head in the mirror and didn't like the way his head looked so he's hiding it from you". And so it's settled.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 3:50pm CST

how's this for a guilt trip from our little Master of Guilt (Julia)? "Mom, I've been reading my book of bible stories in bed, but, I can never get past the Moses one because you guys always tell me to stop reading and take my flashlight away". This girl really knows how to work it!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 8:37am CST

Julia asked me today why I have so many voices. When I asked what she meant, she said that when I read Huck Finn, my voice was harsh and sounded like I was from somewhere else, but when I read Little Women, my voice was softer. Interesting observation, Little One...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 7:51am CST

I asked Ava if she had done what she was told. "No, because I didn't want to". Okay. As long as we're clear.

Monday, February 1, 2010 at 6:54pm CST

I asked Ty why he got sent to his room. He answers "Because I'm a goofball, Mom".

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 7:15pm CST

Ty found some like-minded friends today at the Ager Play Hall. Amidst their running and hooping and hollering about Jabba the Hutt, the boys yelled, almost in unison..."Jedis stick together! Down with Jabba!" I'm not sure who Jabba was in their little game, but, I was glad it wasn't me with that pack of crazies running around!

Monday, January 11, 2010 at 1:32pm CST

Ava- "Moms aren't pretty". Me- "What?" Ava -"Moms aren't pretty, Mom. Only girls are pretty". Me- "Oh. What are Moms then?" Ava -"Moms are just the parents of kids". Thanks for self confidence boost, Avs. I was running a little short today, kiddo.

Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 9:45am CST

loves that when I play Star Wars with Ty, he refuses to let me enter the battle. He won't let any bad guys near me. "Mom, just wait there, I'll take care of these guys".

Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 6:50pm CST

just heard Julia get out of cleaning the messiest part of the house by telling Tyler that since he was the "expert" cleaner, he should tackle it, to which he readily and proudly agreed. Ahhhh, my young apprentice, your training is nearly complete.

2011: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts 2011

2016-12-08T22:57:00.001-06:00

Friday, December 30, 2011 at 4:27pm CST

I told Ava to take a bath, and asked Julia to help her. A little while later, she comes down, hair wet, clean clothes and says "Um, Mom? I think I forgot to clean my body and to wash my hair"-then proceeds to give me a huge bear hug. What she lacks in effectiveness and efficiency, she makes up for in cuteness.

Friday, December 30, 2011 at 1:34pm CST

Tyler has turned our family room into a Pokemon battlefield and the girls have turned our whole upper level into a dance floor. I'm not sure exactly where to be.

Sunday, December 25, 2011 at 7:50pm CST

playing Othello with the kids. As I sat considering my next move, Ava, growing impatient, looks up at me with her sweet, 5 year old little eyes and, in a gruff voice from someplace insider her I have not yet been introduced to says"Go ahead, Steve". My concern immediately went from which move is best to how I can profit off the obvious fact that she is channeling a professional poker player.

Sunday, December 25, 2011 at 1:00pm CST

will find peace as soon as my senses have become accustomed enough to all the new noises generated by the various gadgets from Santa to tune them out at will. The one device that was damaged by the altitude of Santa's sleigh is the one that makes no noise (Kindle) at all.

Saturday, December 24, 2011 at 7:48pm CST

Ava just asked me for eggnog--and then in a hushed, serious voice, adds "But Mom, do NOT put anything in my nog". Well shoot.

Saturday, December 24, 2011 at 5:40pm CST

the kids have staked out positions all over the house for spying Santa's sleigh, complete with secret signals for an unexpected sighting. Between Norad and their look out points, it's entirely possible this could be the year they spy him leaving presents--I just hope he is still willing to leave them...

Saturday, December 24, 2011 at 9:48am CST

Julia got a Wizard Science kit from Grandma and Poppa and just walked by me saying "When I'm done with this I'm going to turn Tyler into a frog". Without batting an eye, Tyler said "First test it out on the refrigerator--I want to be a cool looking frog". At least they're thinking this through.

Friday, December 23, 2011 at 8:19pm CST

on this Christmas Eve Eve, I sit here listening to Julia coughing up a lung and Ava dry heaving into a bowl. I wonder if Santa would prefer it if we left Clorox Wipes and hand sanitizer instead of cookies and milk?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 10:15pm CST

Tyler came up to me tonight and simply said "Mom, thanks for teaching me to read". Those moments where I see our kids embrace their own ability and agency, are some of my most powerful moments.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011 at 7:35pm CST

kids finished homemade hot chocolate and, as the kids gather around the tv to watch tonight's bowl game, I hear Tyler say "Dad, you're the best Dad anybody could ever ask for". Heart melting...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011 at 5:25pm CST

Ava asked me for paper and the stapler. 20 minutes later she walked up to me with a paper watch on her wrist, saying "Mom, I would prefer it if you would let me have a snack now instead of after dinner...my watch says its snack time". Totally got burned.

Saturday, December 17, 2011 at 6:40pm CST

*FAIR WARNING* to all neighbors and unwitting passers-by: The reading of Where the Red Fern Grows has apparently infested our house with "Dog Wanting Disease" and the kids' proposed cure is to earn and save their money--this, it seems, will involve street performances involving ballet and break dancing.

Friday, December 16, 2011 at 7:36pm CST

Ava and I were laughing hysterically because Butterscotch randomly raised his hand as if he had something to say. Right in the middle of our laughing fit, Ava stops and says "Oh, Mommy. That's such a great memory. I'm going to go draw that in my Memory Book". And then she left me, mid-laugh.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011 at 5:57pm CST

Tyler lost his DS...and so now he has resurrected "Finger Guy"--- a never ending drama involving our hero, Finger Guy, and his nemesis Hand Guy. He has an endless supply of storylines and, best of all, I can't take this toy away (at least not legally).

Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 9:02pm CST

Julia read the second chapter of Where the Red Fern Grows to us this evening...and, with wide eyes, Ty stops her and says "Wait a minute. You mean they make traps that can catch stuff? Really? I've been waiting my whole life for this news!" Fabulous.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 6:22pm CST

The girls are upstairs talking about puberty. I'm downstairs taking notes on all the information being generated between the two of them. For instance, did you know that you can't get Swimmer's Ear until you've been through puberty?

Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 9:44pm CST

Tyler comes down after we thought he was asleep, Magic Treehouse book in hand and a look of absolute resolution on his face, and says "Mom, I need to read". I spent the next 45 minutes exploring the world of Jack and Annie as they embark on missions from Merlin. If you're going to maneuver a later bed time, may as well get some more reading time in!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 7:37am CST

Tyler just told me that the only word he knows how to say is "no" for the next couple of weeks. I handed him a dictionary and told him he better study up if he wants to talk to me at all for these next few weeks.

Sunday, December 4, 2011 at 10:01am CST

felt the magic of Christmas when we took the kids to see Santa Friday night, as Santa finished talking with our kids, nailing everything about them and making them feel like he knew each of them personally, he pulled both Jason and I aside and talked with us about the beauty of childhood and parenting, and with a wink, thanked us for being such great parents to the kids. I truly think I may have finally met the true St Nick this weekend.

Saturday, December 3, 2011 at 10:04am CST

I just overheard Tyler and Julia talking about cooking together as a family. Tyler was talking about learning how to cook even better than Mom and Dad, and Julia responded "well, I don't compete with Mom when we cook---we have a very good cooking relationship, and I just don't want to ruin it".

Tuesday, November 22, 2011 at 6:30pm CST

I walk out into the kitchen to find Tyler pouring a glass of water over his head. Before this all registers, I hear "Hey Mom! Dad! This really hits the spot--you should try it!" Thanks bud--I'm all set for now.

Monday, November 14, 2011 at 7:52am CST

Me "Julia and Tyler, you're doing a much better job keeping your rooms clean". Ava "Well, I'm doing a much better job at making myself burp". Clearly my silence about this developing ability was not as powerful as I would have liked it to be...

Sunday, November 13, 2011 at 6:23pm CST

performed an important "Momly" duty tonight in conducting a reading session with the kids despite a clear need on the part of one blossoming reader to brush teeth. Once I made said reader aware of this issue, there was no hesitation at all on the part of this little reader to make it known that I, too, suffer from the same offensive breath. In fact, I would say there was much joy and satisfaction being taken in this proclamation. Touche' my young reader. Touche'.

Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 7:59pm CST

Tyler "I accidentally drew on myself with permanent marker". Me "Really? I accidentally spent your allowance on my coffee today".

Wednesday, November 9, 2011 at 7:15pm CST

Ava just told me that worm poop is magical because it helps make the soil rich. I suppose that's one way to look at it. Of course, I'd be just fine not considering worm poop at all, but, since we're talking about it, at least it's positive.

Monday, November 7, 2011 at 6:54pm CST

at dinner tonight, we spent the evening taking in the excited energy from our kids--Julia completely energized from her first day at Spanish; Tyler on fire with all the strides he's making with his reading; Ava going on and on about her letter sounds...it's such an amazing thing to see the passion ignite over and over again for them as they embrace their education!

Sunday, November 6, 2011 at 11:02am CST

Ava just walked up to me, out of the blue and said "Bring it. Bring it on!" With pleasure, my dear daughter--once I figure out what the "it" is I am bringing.

Friday, November 4, 2011 at 7:49am CDT

after a wonderful family dinner at Hu-Hots last night, Ava, quite unexpectedly yelled out "Man, I love pig!!". Apparently, they quality of their pork is too exceptional to be contained.

Thursday, November 3, 2011 at 8:44am CDT

this morning, as I asked Jason if what I was wearing looked alright, Tyler responds "Mom, it's impossible for you to look bad. You're too pretty". My boy. And he hasn't asked me for anything yet either.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011 at 7:07pm CDT

Julia "There's a likely percent chance for snow tomorrow, Mom". Oscillating between precise and ambiguous--well played, my young daughter.

Thursday, October 27, 2011 at 10:12pm CDT

today, I watched my son do his part in the All Saints Day Parade as St. Michael the Arch Angel. I sat there, rushing through an incredibly busy day, for 30 minutes, with tears in my eyes as he proudly, and boldly, said his lines. Tonight, by a roaring fire, Julia confided in me that she had "tears of joy" watching Ty today. Warm fuzzies all around...

Friday, October 21, 2011 at 5:11pm CDT

"Daddy! Mommy! We just saw a wild cow!!!" Amazing what re-framing a car trip as a safari adventure can do...

Friday, October 21, 2011 at 4:52pm CDT

From the backseat of the car, Tyler just commanded his sock monkeys to play dead if they wish to survive "the next attack". I often contemplate that strategy myself...

Friday, October 21, 2011 at 10:41am CDT

Julia-- "you know things have gotten pretty out of control when Mom starts lecturing us with words we don't understand". Yes. And if you want to understand me, you better shape up.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 8:02pm CDT

Funny. Ava has a pumpkin shaped space open in her tummy--apparently one that can only be filled by a Brach's pumpkin shaped candy corn. I didn't even know that was anatomically possible. Quite a marketing advantage for Brach's, I'd say.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 10:56am CDT

Ava went to the bathroom and informed me that she is going "Number 4". This is one of those parenting moments where you realize that it's better not to ask questions.

Monday, October 17, 2011 at 7:33pm CDT

Ava ate her caramel apple and decided that her teeth just aren't big enough for "all that good gooyness".

Monday, October 17, 2011 at 6:58pm CDT

Tyler just asked me if I have Santa's phone number. It is my sacred duty to withhold such information from children wishing to plead their case.

Friday, October 14, 2011 at 4:51pm CDT

our children offered us a "Spiritual Bouquet" for our anniversary-- a beautiful card and a list of prayers they will say for us. I have never received such an amazing gift in all my life.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 6:59pm CDT

Julia--"Mom, do you have a minute to cuddle with me?" I can think of nothing I'd rather do more.

Monday, October 10, 2011 at 8:43am CDT

Ava-- "Mom, how can you still be talking when I ate your head?" And this will be the question that permeates my thinking for the day.

Sunday, October 2, 2011 at 4:10pm CDT

Ava comes out of swim lessons and screams at the top of her lungs "Guess what! I didn't pee in the pool this time!". As I tried to stifle a laugh I realized the lap swimmers that share the pool with her every week seemed a bit uncomfortable. #kidsarehorrifying

Thursday, September 29, 2011 at 8:11pm CDT

the best part of children's laughter is the point at which the silent convulsions that ensue after prolonged laughter are punctuated with a desperate snort for breath.

Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 7:29pm CDT

Why, no matter where I go, am I "base" for all tag related games and activities? And importantly, how do I change this state of affairs?

Monday, September 19, 2011 at 8:14pm CDT

Me "Tyler, come dance with me!" Tyler, 'Mom, dancing with you is bad with a whole bunch of bad on top". When did I get transported back to high school?

Monday, September 12, 2011 at 8:41pm CDT

had a long talk with Tyler tonight about dealing with different friend issues. As we were wrapping things up just before bed he says to me "Hey, umm, Mom? One more quick question. How does someone take over the world?" I wonder what those kids talk about at recess.

Sunday, September 4, 2011 at 7:11am CDT

Tyler looked at me this morning-- Hey Mom, what's the code to turn off the alarm? Seriously, Ty? Do you think I would relinquish what little power I have left?

Friday, September 2, 2011 at 7:32am CDT

This morning, while changing out laundry, Robin--of the dynamic duo Batman and Robin--fell out of the clothes. I found myself wondering why Batman would send Robin on a mission like this by himself and then began to question the value of Aqua Man in the whole SuperHero Squad if he isn't going to take on the water related missions. Clearly I need more sleep.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011 at 7:43pm CDT

The lights flickering on and off randomly, Ava screaming-- "You aren't the boss of me!", Tyler screaming "I'm soooo dirty" and "No one hits me except me!", Julia rolling her eyes muttering "Whatever". I'm on sensory overload at the moment.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011 at 4:32pm CDT

Tyler just said he found a paperclip from the 1990's behind our couch. He said this as if the 1990's were ancient...equal to pre-historic times. I think I just felt at least 4 wrinkles spontaneously develop.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 7:24am CDT

the other day the kids and Jason came down to campus with me to drop a few things off. Julia grabbed a Journal of Communication and informed me that she needed to start reading it so she could get ready for college. It now goes with her everywhere and looks great with her new 3rd grade student planner and English textbooks...

Friday, August 19, 2011 at 7:49pm CDT

after dinner tonight, Julia says she's glad she got to lay around all summer. I'm taking her to the doctor in the morning to check for damage to the frontal lobe of her brain, affecting memory and perception.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 8:36pm CDT

Ava "Me and Teddy are back together". Me "I hadn't realized Teddy was on the outs-- what happened?" Ava "Yeah, Scooby and I started hanging out--he was my best toy for a while. But, now Teddy's my best toy again".

Sunday, August 14, 2011 at 7:35pm CDT

Julia, in a panicky state, comes running upstairs "Mommy! Daddy! We have an emergency!" Alarmed, Jason and I yell back "WHAT?" Julia responds "We zipped Tyler up in a suitcase and now we can't unzip it!" Oh.

Friday, August 12, 2011 at 8:26pm CDT

Jason "Ty, that's way too much jelly on your toast".. Ty "Well, then I guess it's a good thing I like jelly, isn't it?" Smart Alec.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 at 3:08pm CDT

while vacuuming the half of Ty's room that is clean, a loud, unnatural sound escaped from the vacuum cleaner. He comes running upstairs, points to the half of his room covered with papers and various artifacts and yells "you didn't disturb my laboratory, did you, Mom???"

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 at 9:50am CDT

Julia and I had a bet about Jonas Brothers lyrics....when I showed her what the lyrics were (and that I was right), she looks at me and says "yeah...don't always trust computers"...I love that girl!

Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 10:29am CDT

Ava-- "YES! I can lick my armpit!" We celebrate all victories, great and small.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 7:04pm CDT

Ava asked me what my grandpas were like and I told her that they were nice men, but I never knew them. She asked me why not, and Julia interjected "Because they died in the Civil War, Ava". Apparently, we have very good genes.

Monday, July 11, 2011 at 5:52pm CDT

...silence...soon broken by all three kids walking out of their rooms with dripping wet rags, beaming with pride and an explanation offered by my 4 year old "Mommy, we're scrubbing down our rooms so they look shiny". Oh for crying out loud.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011 at 3:19pm CDT

all three kids have completed all three summer reading programs--and, just as we wrap the last one up, Ty walks up to me with his self-made summer reading program to "get us through the rest of the summer". Good, cuz I'm not sure what I would have done with myself.

Sunday, July 3, 2011 at 9:35pm CDT

girls asleep, standing with my son at his bedroom window watching the pre-4th of July fireworks in anticipation of lighting our stash off tomorrow. He looks at me and says "The thing is, I wish I had eight eyes so I can be sure I don't miss any of them!" I love the 4th of July in Lincoln!

Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 6:33pm CDT

Ava looked at me tonight with a pensive look on her face...then decided to assert her thought. "Mom, the reason my tummy hurts is that I didn't hear it when it told me to stop".

Wednesday, June 29, 2011 at 12:21pm CDT

Julia asked me if we could make cookie dough and watch an old movie together. My kind of girl :-)

thinks it's great that my son was so excited to give me my birthday present from the kids that he couldn't wait one more week. I'm not even gonna think about the fact that the gift is a Wii Fishing Game and that he has already "called his shot" so to speak in identifying the exact fish he will conquer first.

Saturday, June 18, 2011 at 6:51pm CDT

just helped Julia purchase her very first digital camera with the money she's worked so hard to save--what a great feeling to see the look on her face!

Thursday, June 16, 2011 at 8:29pm CDT

tonight's activities: listening to Tyler read Green Eggs and Ham, participating in Julia's newly established "Research Club", explaining the value of a well balanced dinner, illustrating the difference between being a leader and being a tattle tale, offering a cursory explanation on how babies are made, playing a supporting role in Tyler's latest Batman episode and watching Jason rid the backyard of varmints.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011 at 6:28pm CDT

Ava just ran up to me, crying hysterically, screaming that Julia ate her brain. Is it bad that my response was that she better not have eaten it this close to dinner?

Thursday, June 9, 2011 at 7:27pm CDT

after dinner tonight, Tyler looked at me and said, "You are pure magic, Woman". I'm not sure if I should be amused or offended. So I'm going with amused.

Monday, June 6, 2011 at 10:32am CDT

Ava got a call from her "boyfriend" this morning---the two of them cooked up a plan to go to the park this Friday...she has requested that I bake "something special" for their play date. I guess I better get on that.

Sunday, June 5, 2011 at 9:00pm CDT

after failing miserably in my attempt to brush Ava's teeth due to incomprehensible giggling and excessive squirming, I was met by Tyler who took my hand ever so gingerly and told me that I am "a very good woman with a kind heart".

Wednesday, June 1, 2011 at 11:32am CDT

Ty walks up to me..."Do you know who I am?" No, Ty...who are you? "I'm that cool kid who has bugs in his pocket." And then he pulls out a collection of plastic bugs.

Sunday, May 22, 2011 at 8:52pm CDT

my 4 year old is standing outside the bathroom door (she wasn't as quick on the draw as her older sister), completely naked, screaming "this is so awkward!!!!"

Sunday, May 22, 2011 at 10:03am CDT

in his ever-evolving quest to earn more money, Tyler has decided that he will begin passing out "speeding tickets". If any of us (presumably Mom and Dad) are caught "speeding", we will be responsible to pay a $75 fine directly to him. I'm thinking it's time to reverse the tables a bit---perhaps every time he gets sent to his room, he should pay us, say $100?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 7:48pm CDT

What an incredible day! After a great evening playing ball with the kids, we all came in and read---at which time time we discovered that Ava's sounding out Dick and Jane!! Tyler's reading Level 2 books and is excited to move to chapter books (his motivation and confidence have sky-rocketed lately) and Julia's reading one of my all time favorites as a kid---The Black Stallion--LOVE watching her read those stories!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 3:44pm CDT

got home from working a bit this afternoon and noticed Ava drinking from a McDonald's cup---I asked her what she was drinking. She responds "Diet Dr. Coke. What are you drinking?"

Friday, May 13, 2011 at 7:46am CDT

The other day, we got a call from the school principal. About Tyler. Jason took the call--and, when she said who she was and why she was calling, Jason apprehensively asked what this was about. She asked him "Do you have a goatee?" Yes. "Do you wear glasses?" Yes. She said she and the teachers have been getting a kick out of Ty's rendition of the Easter Bunny for the last couple of weeks, and she wanted to be sure he knew to be looking for it as it will be coming home today....

Monday, May 9, 2011 at 8:22pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added a new photo to the album: May 2011.

Julia raised 5 caterpillars to butterflies this Spring---all 5 were let go just before we left for our Kansas City trip...

Saturday, May 7, 2011 at 11:44am CDT

Tyler gave me, among other beautifully crafted pictures, a gift certificate for a spa night. I asked him what he was going to do for me on my spa night. His response? "I don't know. I figured you could handle it".

Thursday, May 5, 2011 at 10:06pm CDT

We were watching the super cool parts of Spider Man with the kids and then Peter Parker kissed his lady love. Jason promptly turned it. Julia yells out "DAD! How am I supposed to learn how to do that if you won't let me watch that??" I never knew Jason could turn so many shades of purple. It was pure entertainment.

Saturday, April 30, 2011 at 9:16pm CDT

does not have the words to explain how much I value the innocence of my children--this evening, Julia saying the "s" word in reference to "stupid", Tyler telling me that Batman is going to get into trouble if he keeps driving the Batmobile so fast, and Ava asking Jason to write me a note that says she "loves me really, really big".

Sunday, April 17, 2011 at 10:52am CDT

Tyler came downstairs all frustrated with Julia and said "That woman won't let me do ANYTHING". Between this and the beer comment, I'm beginning to feel like Rip Van Winkle....did I sleep through this kid's childhood????

Friday, April 15, 2011 at 8:12pm CDT

My world just fast-forwarded 15 years. While sitting at Bagels and Joe today, I overheard Tyler telling his buddies that he felt like he was drinking a beer (it was applejuice). As I sat there, open-mouthed, one of his buddies asked him for a drink of his beer.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011 at 7:13pm CDT

sat down this evening over a pan of brownies fresh out of the oven and a glass of ice cold milk while I listened with Jason and the kids as Ava explained that she switched boyfriends today. Can't think of a more perfect way to spend my evening.

Saturday, April 2, 2011 at 3:45pm CDT

the dishwasher stopped working. Tyler reasons that someone must have put a bomb in it. Ava begins to see smoke (that isn't there) and all three kids are now certain that we have been attacked by scoundrels and villains. Seems about right.

Friday, March 4, 2011 at 9:10am CST

there are few things that make you feel smaller than having your eldest daughter look at you through teary eyes after you've spent 20 minutes curling her hair in the middle of your morning chaos exclaiming "I wanted curly, Mom...not Poofy!" I thought it looked elegant, not poofy. Oops. Mom Fail.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011 at 8:21am CST

Tyler sat down to read to Ava last night and, as they were settling in, he says, quite matter-of-factly, "Aves, I need my reading glasses to do this right".

Thursday, February 24, 2011 at 7:41pm CST

asked Julia what she learned after visiting Morrill Hall with her classmates for their field trip today. She replied "I learned that boyfriends/girlfriends can go to Morrill Hall together. Oh, yeah, and that diamonds are crystals." Interesting.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 7:38am CST

Julia has just said she wants to punch Jack Frost. I agree. Let's punch his lights out.

Monday, February 14, 2011 at 10:22pm CST

today Tyler sat looking at me while surrounded by a big pile of Valentine's Day treats from his friends and thanked me for his V-Day present from Jason and I. Suddenly, his expression darkened as an unpleasant realization appeared to overcome him. After a couple of minutes of tortured deliberation, he walks up to me and hands me a Blow Pop from his stash and says "Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy". I love that kid!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 10:37pm CST

now has pierced ears. As does Julia. We had a mother daughter moment this evening involving bodily mutilation to express our feminine beauty. Thanks, Claire's. For the holes in my ears. And thanks for throwing in the complimentary solution to prevent infection.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 8:56pm CST

Ava "Excuse me. I did a burp that tastes like pizza." Clearly, she is long winded just like her mother.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 2:25pm CST

While at the Doctor's office today, Ava was offered a "Barbie" sticker. Her response "Are you kidding me? I can't stand Barbie!" Cinderella has not yet eaten my daughter.

Sunday, January 30, 2011 at 7:04pm CST

has a very real concern that Tyler will ask his teacher tomorrow how to kill someone with a rope. Another blind spot in our reasoning when selecting Clue for Family Game Night.

Sunday, January 30, 2011 at 9:08am CST

absolutely loves that every time we go out to dinner, Ava tells us what she wants to order by singing "Cheeseburger in Paradise".

Saturday, January 29, 2011 at 7:26pm CST

Tyler just told me that he wants to make a copy of his head so he can jump on it. You have to admit, there is some logic hidden in there.

Monday, January 24, 2011 at 9:30am CST

Ava just informed that the Fresh Beat Band is coming over today. I suppose I better nail down anything that looks like it could be used to play music so those delinquents don't make off with it.

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 6:33pm CST

smiles every time Julia tells me something is instresting...she's so pensive, and thinks deeply about things...and to hear her say the word just slightly wrong is kind of a neat look into where she's headed through where she's been.

Friday, January 7, 2011 at 6:10pm CST

my son just came out to me, carrying a plastic tea cup carrying Julia's newest kitchen creation entitled "Lemonade's Bay" and proclaimed it our new Castle Family Christmas Drink. Julia best write this down...

Thursday, January 6, 2011 at 9:00pm CST

So, today before preschool, Ava went to the bathroom and, without warning she says "Mommy, will you wipe my butt hogs"? Huh? All day long, I've thinking about what awful show I had unknowingly let her watch...and then, it hit me..."butt hogs" was her interpretation of "buttocks". Still regretting anatomically correct terminology.

2012: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts 2012

2016-12-08T20:12:00.006-06:00

Sunday, December 30, 2012 at 8:16pm CST

Ty "So, romantic comedies are like when the people puke right before they kiss each other, right"? My son---such a little charmer...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 5:56pm CST

Ava "Why doesn't Voldemort have a nose?" Tyler "Because evil stinks, Ava". My work here is clearly done.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012 at 8:07pm CST

You know it's been a great Christmas when your 6 year old looks at you and asks "Mommy, is today a dream?". Merry Christmas to one and all!

Monday, December 24, 2012 at 11:27am CST

Baking pies, watching movies and listening to the kids run "Christmas Morning Drills"--on a never-ending quest for the most efficient way to get everyone downstairs on Christmas morning.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 12:40pm CST

Today, while eating lunch with Ava's kindergarten class, I made the mistake of mentioning that now, after eating Doritos, I probably have Dorito breath. Guess how many kindergarteners let me smell their breath today? Guess how many of them had pleasant smelling breath?

Monday, December 17, 2012 at 3:36pm CST

Tyler gets in the van after school today and announces "Mom, I'm awfully suspicious of myself". This does not bode well for the rest of us.

Monday, December 17, 2012 at 7:45am CST

In the midst of the morning chaos, Julia looks at me and says, "Mom, do you think you're going to have another baby?" Hello Monday. Nice to see you again.

Thursday, December 13, 2012 at 9:21pm CST

While Ava was home sick today she made "Ava's homemade booty wash".

Wednesday, December 12, 2012 at 4:18pm CST

So, yesterday, my son nearly had a heart attack. He opened the mailbox to find a letter addressed to him with no return address. Upon opening it, he found a personalized autograph from his favorite football player, Rex Burkhead. What a great guy to take the time to respond to an awe-struck 8 year old's letter. I honestly don't think that kid has calmed down since that fateful trip to the mailbox.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 7:15pm CST

Tyler got sent to his room during dinner. When we called him back down so he could finish eating, he told us he was going to call the police to bring him dinner because his parents wouldn't let him finish his, and he was pretty sure that was against the law in Nebraska.

Saturday, December 8, 2012 at 9:17am CST

Poor Ty is having a rough go of it this week. After dishing out yet another consequence last night, I sat him down to give him a pep talk and explain that these consequences are an important part of him learning how to be responsible and accountable. After a long talk, he gave me a hug and said he understood. I am pretty sure, however, that I will be featured as some sort of evil villain in his next comic book.

Thursday, December 6, 2012 at 5:14pm CST

This morning, as I was serving up breakfast, Tyler looks at me and says "Mom, why are you so dressed up today?" Considering that I was wearing a ratty sweatshirt from the Lincoln Race Track and an old pair of jeans, I asked him what he meant. He responds "Well, you're not wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt". Sadly, my writing mode attire is having a lasting impact on his picture of me.

Monday, December 3, 2012 at 6:08pm CST

Ty: "Mom. Dad needs to teach me how to use a hammer. And a hacksaw." Yeah. No he doesn't Ty: "MOM! Yes he does! It says so in my Cub Scout handbook!" Yeah, well, this wouldn't be the first time we bucked the system, Ty.

Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 7:55pm CST

At basketball clinic and Ty and Ava come running up to me, Ava in tears and Ty rolling his eyes. Never a good sign. Ty comes up "Mom. It's not a big deal". Ava, through sobs, explains that she hit Ty in the face with a basketball. As I process that the wrong child is crying, I give her a big hug and tell her how sweet she is for worrying about her brother. She looks at me and says "I'm not worried about him! I'm really embarrassed!" So much for my warm fuzzy Proud Mom moment.

Saturday, December 1, 2012 at 11:24am CST

"Ava, stop making noise." Ava- "Okay, I'll play my homemade trumpet then". I think she's missing the larger concept here.

Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 4:55pm CST

Ava's homework tonight was to practice acting out position words. So, she acted out above, below, etc. Really kind of cute to watch. Then, we got to "bottom". Things started to go south at this point, but, I was able to get her back on track. Until we got to "behind". There was no regaining control after that.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 at 8:39am CST

Julia just told me that she's going to keep her Christmas list "reasonable" this year. I asked her what reasonable meant. She answers "You know, Mom, like, I'm not asking for world domination or anything, so, it should be just fine. Don't worry". Well good.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 8:46pm CST

Ava just told me she can't wait to eat the turkin for Thanksgiving. I looked at her, smiled, and said "you mean turkey?" She smiles and responds, "No, Mommy. I don't mean turkey. I mean turkin. It's French. Adios, Mate!" Clearly I lack a certain cultural sophistication.

Sunday, November 18, 2012 at 6:57pm CST

Just told the kids over dinner about the year I asked for Rudolph for Christmas in an attempt to demonstrate that you don't ALWAYS get exactly what you want. Rather than getting some sympathetic nods of understanding, I was berated for being so silly as to ask for Rudolph on what is clearly his busiest night.

Thursday, November 15, 2012 at 6:36pm CST

Tyler, unable to find clean pants, yells "Hey, let's have a naked-o-thon!!" Let's hope this is a reflection of a healthy sense of self confidence and not foreshadowing to the college years.

Thursday, November 15, 2012 at 4:04pm CST

Taking a break from writing, playing the "Animal Guessing Game" with Ava. Her clue "We share Aunt Sisters with him". What? "Mom, we share Aunt Sisters with him, it says so at Morrill Hall!" Answer-- Gorilla.

Sunday, November 11, 2012 at 11:06am CST

Ava woke me up this morning screaming "Happy Veterinarian's Day!" With a heart full of gratitude, I'd like to say thank you to all the veterans and their families that have sacrificed so much so that we can raise our children in a country where they have the opportunity to learn, grow and become someone who can use their talents to make a difference in this world. Happy Veteran's Day.

Thursday, November 8, 2012 at 8:53pm CST

Julia has quoted John Tesh to me on at least three occasions in the last week. I honestly never thought that guy would come back to haunt me.

Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 10:38am CDT

Explaining politics to Ty--talking about the electoral college, popular vote, term limits, swing states, and after we got through all of this, he looks at me and said, "So, kind of like Senator Amidala and the Republic?" Yes. Exactly like Senator Amidala and the Republic. Substitute light sabers for political calls, and you about have it.

Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 11:21pm CDT

Thinking about my day today, it dawned on me that today was highly educational. While at the zoo with my children, I learned some very important things. I learned that Ava's favorite animal is now a horse (formerly a monkey), Julia no longer likes potato chips and has an affinity for crocodiles, andTyler thinks Rex Burkhead is the best football player to ever walk the face of the earth (apparently replacing Taylor Martinez). A day well spent, I'd say.

Saturday, October 20, 2012 at 12:24pm CDT

The doorbell rings...and all three kids come running to the window to see who it is--upon realizing it was no one we knew, they all start running around like crazy, screaming in alarm "Get back...get away from the door! It's a solicitor!!! Stay back!! Solicitor, Solicitor!!" What do you wanna bet that guy never stops by our house again?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012 at 5:02pm CDT

Helping Tyler study for his prayer test "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed art thou when you're swimmin'..." I guess we have a little more practice to do...

Thursday, October 11, 2012 at 4:18pm CDT

Julia wrote a recipe for me. I can't not share it: "Recipe for Kathy Castle" 4 cups of love 5 bags of intelligence 4 1/3 tsp of strictness 4 1/2 cups of teaching 10 hunks of listening 11 bags of faith 8 pounds of understanding 13 bags of researching Warm for 5 minutes with hugs. Top with smiles - From the Kitchen of Julia <3

Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 8:51pm CDT

I surprised the kids with sugar cookies in the shape of jack-o-lantern's today. They were so excited. And now two of the three of them are in tears over them. One's crying because s/he snuck bites out of someone else's cookie on the sly and now feels guilty. Another is crying because s/he noticed the aforementioned bites, as well as the "crumbiful" mess she makes with the cookies. The third is laughing because of all the tears. And finally, as this emotional moment climaxed, they each admitted that none of them even liked the cookies anyway. So, that was a good call on my part.

Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 8:41am CDT

All three kids are out in the backyard yelling "thank you!" to Jack Frost, raking leaves, rolling around in them and generally having a blast. While I am sure my neighbors are less than appreciative, I myself am really enjoying my coffee and the relative silence inside my house.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012 at 6:23pm CDT

Ava's writing in her journal. It's highly sensitive, private stuff. We are not allowed anywhere near it. It remains hidden in some undisclosed location when she's not writing in it. She doesn't allow us to even look her direction when she's writing. Somewhere along the way she's going to realize that asking me to spell each word she wants to write out for her sort of defeats all her protective measures.

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 9:25am CDT

Ty, in a moment of reflection, says "Man, there are times I wish I was allowed to say shut up to people. Be quiet doesn't always cut it".

Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 3:54pm CDT

Ty and Jason camped out last night with Cub Scouts, and tonight the two of them are going to the NE game together. I told Ty to hang tough today and, if he gets tired, it's okay to let Dad know and they can leave the game early. He responds with "Mom, you're not a man, you've never been a man and you will never be a man." It seems he is learning a few things at school. Now we just need to work on taking all that knowledge of his and formulating a relevant argument.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012 at 3:54pm CDT

Tyler looked at me all wistfully and said "I can't wait for the snow to come so we can walk out and be all cold and then get all cozy with hot chocolate and a lot of blankets and a warm fire. Plus, I want to hit you with a giant snowball, Mom." I'd kind of like to hit him with one too, truth be told.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012 at 6:08pm CDT

Just overheard a conversation that the kids were having about how Ty's football and Ava's ballet conflict on Monday nights, making it so I have to miss one or the other of them. Initially a cute little discussion reflecting on what I told them about how no matter how much I want to make everything they do, I can't be two places at once, it quickly and disturbingly devolved into a discussion about the possibility of splitting me in two so I could make all their events. I don't think I'm going to sleep very well tonight.

Monday, September 17, 2012 at 8:52pm CDT

Hi Julia here Mom just bought me that multi-color pen that writes in ten different colors for school I'm excited peace out!

Sunday, September 16, 2012 at 8:38am CDT

The boys tripped our security alarm this morning, sending everyone into a screaming panic. All in all a successful sleepover, I'd say.

Saturday, September 15, 2012 at 12:20pm CDT

Tyler's having his first sleep over at our house tonight. Julia, in an effort to negotiate this evening, tells Tyler that if he and his friend are good, she might give them each a piece of her candy. Tyler responds with "Umm, sorry Jules. Good isn't part of tonight's equation. The whole reason I invited him over was to NOT be good." At least we all know where we stand for the evening :/

Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 10:16am CDT

Ty threw his first ever touchdown pass last night!! I missed it, though, because Ava had her first ever ballet lesson. While waiting for Ava, Julia and I had our first ever Mother/Daughter study session-kind of a fun new twist on our relationship--books spread out all over the table, both of us reading and writing--Julia using my articles as scrap paper to work out math problems...me taking notes on articles using her math book for leverage.

Thursday, September 6, 2012 at 3:52pm CDT

I overheard Julia telling Tyler to "wait until Mom's stressed out and then ask her". Shortly after that, I heard the kids talking about "the technique"...which from what I can gather, involves puppy dog eyes. Game on, kiddos. Game on.

Saturday, September 1, 2012 at 1:56pm CDT

Ty "Guys, we have to do 5 chest bumps when the game starts". Me "Ty, I don't do chest bumps. I'll do butt slaps, but not chest bumps". Julia, "I don't do either chest bumps or butt slaps, how about high fives?" Ava, "I'll do five thumb sucks". Welcome to Football Saturday at our house.

Saturday, August 25, 2012 at 8:52am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle shared her photo.

Happy Birthday to Julia this weekend! She's 10 years old tomorrow. So hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday I was trying to figure out the right way to give her a bath...calling my mom freaking out, convinced I had ruined my 4 day old baby because she was so mad she was screaming and crossing her eyes at me after we took her out of the bathtub. We survived that and have enjoyed an amazing 10 years...and it just keeps getting better!

Sunday, August 12, 2012 at 7:15pm CDT

Ava just ran up to me and said "I only ever smell my own". Curious, I asked her to elaborate. She simply looked at me with an expressionless face, stuck her thumb in her mouth and ran off. Which, really, is okay, because I'm pretty sure that's overall good rule to live by, no matter the situation. I'm good with that.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012 at 7:14pm CDT

Tyler comes to me, all tearful and sad eyed, "Mom, I broke one of your action figures". As I walk with him to the scene of crime, I see one of my Willow Tree statues laying in pieces on the floor. I looked over at him, and he looks at me with big, sad brown eyes, holding the now decapitated head up for me to examine "Mom, it's worse than I thought. I killed her".

Friday, August 3, 2012 at 1:45pm CDT

Tyler, "I was born with the gift of boyness". Julia, without batting an eye "I think I'd see if you have a gift receipt". Sheez. It's getting rough around here.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012 at 9:16pm CDT

Julia, walking away from my computer "Mom, I love Amazon. I just had a little shopping moment". Heart pounding in my chest, I race to the computer to assess the damage--and realize with great relief that her Amazon wish list is substantially bigger, and no new orders were made. Dodged a major bullet there.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 at 6:44pm CDT

I am not at all ready for the kids to go back to school--it's always kind of a sad time. But, I can tell I'm getting closer because I find myself slipping into dreams of of the peace and silence that only fall can bring. During one such moment, I was shocked back into reality by Tyler, who jumped front and center into my view screaming about how excited he is for Christmas as he presented me with our 'to do' list for this years holiday season-scribbled out in the margins of the school supply list we have yet to address. *Sigh*

Sunday, July 29, 2012 at 9:15am CDT

Woke up with Ava less than an inch from my face. "Mom, I love you, you great big woman!" Ty yells "AVA! She's not a great BIG woman! She's a GREAT WOMAN!" Julia "None of this ever goes like we plan". I wonder if they've got a great big cup of coffee stashed away for me somewhere?

Friday, July 27, 2012 at 10:59am CDT

Some little guy in Ava's golf group made a snarky remark about Ava yesterday. Ty heard about it and kept his ears open today. I guess he made another snarky remark today, to which Ty responded "Hey Kid. Bad things are gonna happen if you insult my sister again". Atta boy, Ty. Now, I'm going to turn my phone off in case this child's parent calls me about terroristic threats.

Thursday, July 26, 2012 at 7:50pm CDT

Ty "What do we celebrate on Labor Day?" Julia, "We celebrate all the women who go into labor so we can be born". Yep, I'm goin' with that.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 10:57am CDT

Tyler and Ava talking about marriage: "Mom's not really a Castle. Dad got to change her name when they married. She's a fake Castle." Ava, shock and awe in her voice, "Mom's a fake?" Ty "yeah, she gave birth to us and so WE'RE Castles, but she's not real". And this is how the world turns for the eight and under crowd. So glad we're not in school--I can only imagine what the talk on the playground would be...

Monday, July 23, 2012 at 7:49am CDT

Ty: "Mom, why do I have to let girls go first all the time? Adam didn't let Eve go first when they were created." Me: "Yeah, and look where that got him, Ty. Down one rib." Oh. Right.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 at 3:39pm CDT

Took the kids to Morrill Hall today to see the new exhibits and the movie, A Starry Tale. When Ty saw the trailer included a girl with long flowing hair, he immediately said "the only way I'm going to survive this movie is if I think about how I will save the world when the aliens attack". Well, at least he has a plan.

Thursday, July 12, 2012 at 2:17pm CDT

I took the kids to the library on campus the other day to pick up a book. We had to use the back alley elevator that takes you to the half floor and always reminds me of Harry Potter and the in between platforms they use to get to Hogwarts. Thinking myself clever I told them they better not mention He Who Shall Not Be Named. As we stepped out into the half floor, we were hit with a weird gust of wind or something, and Ava screamed (loudly) and refused to leave the elevator, convinced of Voldemort's presence. Parenting Fail.

Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 4:03pm CDT

Screams from the backseat of the car are generally harmless. On this particular day, my quick glance back revealed blood all over Ty's smiling mouth, dripping down his chin. As I took in the gory scene, I tried to make sense of it. Then I hear-- "Mom! Will the tooth fairy be alright with all the blood?". Ok. Now I can breathe.

Friday, July 6, 2012 at 2:38pm CDT

Tyler's making up Super Heroes for his new comic book. Fire Guy, Aqua Man (don't have the heart to tell him that he already exists), Sock Monkey Guy...and Gun Boy. I'm trying to convince him to change Gun Boy to Gum Boy--seems like he could have all kinds of creative battles and hero-like action with a guy that knows his way around his Hubba Bubba. So far, no dice.

Monday, July 2, 2012 at 9:43pm CDT

Tyler, in a not so smooth attempt at confirming his suspicions about his birthday presents (still several days away) "So, Mom. Is there a reason you have a Lord of the Rings Lego Set in your closet? I mean, you don't really seem like the Gollum type".

Sunday, July 1, 2012 at 12:32pm CDT

Tyler "can we get cream of pizza soup?" Brilliant!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012 at 2:06pm CDT

Tyler "Hey Mom. I've been thinking. I've got a lot of stories to tell, so, if you can find a movie maker set, I'd take it".

Friday, June 22, 2012 at 4:14pm CDT

FAIR WARNING: Ava is walking around asking people if she can smell their armpits. I've advised her of the potential ramifications of this particular request. She seems disinterested in and remains unswayed by my cautionary words.

Monday, June 18, 2012 at 10:45am CDT

I just overheard the kids talking about how dogs have puppies. Tyler asks "I wonder how many they lay at a time?" Ava says "I don't think they lay them. I think Mommy had us the same way dogs have them". Well, yeah, but, not EXACTLY. Sheez.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 7:55pm CDT

Ava hurt herself tripping over a toy train in a valiant attempt to get away from the fly that Tyler was chasing with a fly swatter. Crying, she runs to me completely naked (just out of the bath), hurt and scared. Tyler, completely concerned about his little sister, says, "Hey Ava, if it makes you feel any better, there are fly guts all over the window". Grimacing, I thank him for his big brotherly help, and set Ava down. She promptly runs to the freezer to get the boo boo bunny. And hurts herself again.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 6:07pm CDT

Ty's getting ready to take his bath and I asked him to move the bathing suits first. He responds "what's a bathing suit?" Exasperated, I tell him he's not being funny. He responds "Seriously, Mom-I don't know what those are". I look at him, determine he's not trying to make a joke and I respond "Swim trunks for girls". I actually see the light go on over his head. Sometimes I forget how easy it is for a kid to see things only from his or her own experience.

Friday, June 8, 2012 at 10:49am CDT

The other morning Ava and I were playing fairy tales. That afternoon we ran to the store and she asked me for a pack if gum. When I said no, she yells "you evil witch!" in her princess voice. The cashier hands me my receipt all wide eyed and shocked like. Yeah. That's how we roll, lady.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012 at 8:28pm CDT

Ava just asked if we could institute a new rule--if one kid gets invited to a sleepover, the other two need to be able to go too. I think this is a FANTASTIC rule, though I'm fairly certain it will cut down on our number of invites :-)

Friday, June 1, 2012 at 5:23pm CDT

Julia looked at me yesterday as we were snuggling and wistfully commented that she wished time would stop for just a little while so she wouldn't grow up so fast. My little one isn't so little anymore...

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 6:43pm CDT

Walking in the door from vacation, Ava announces "the best thing about being a kindergartner is I get access to knives". As I am pondering how she has come to that conclusion, Tyler jumps in with "Mom, I'm going to make you so proud. I'm going to shoot birds out of the trees with my slingshot so we can eat chicken". Apparently, our trip to the mountains has awakened something deeply primal in my youngest two children.

Thursday, May 24, 2012 at 5:38pm CDT

Ava "Mom! I can pee like a boy!" Fantastic. Can you use Clorox wipes like a Mom?

Thursday, May 24, 2012 at 10:30am CDT

Ava "Mommy! I congraduated into Kindergarten!" That's one of the most efficient statements I've heard in a long time.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012 at 8:17am CDT

Tyler: "The more I think about it, the more I think that everyone that doesn't agree with my ideas is just not very smart". Clearly I have some work to do with this one...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012 at 3:55pm CDT

As I'm struggling to pull the over-flowing trash out of the trash can, Tyler, from behind me yells "Hey Mom, watch this!" Clearly struggling and frustrated, I say "Ty, does it look like I can watch anything right now?" Ty "No. Hey Mom, watch this!" :/

Monday, April 30, 2012 at 3:37pm CDT

Ava was telling the kids about the boy who asked her to be his friend while we played at the park this afternoon. Tyler, immediately on guard says "Wait a minute. A boy walks up, out of nowhere and asks you to be his friend for no reason? What do you know about this guy? I think you need to think a little bit more about this". Big Brother Protection Mode in overdrive.

Monday, April 30, 2012 at 12:50pm CDT

Ava "Mom, it's Mommy and Ava day today. Get your credit card ready." What the what?????

Monday, April 30, 2012 at 10:43am CDT

Took the kids to the library yesterday and, while these two sweet little girls and their sweet mother were searching out fairy books and all things sugar and spice, my three kids were enthusiastically looking through the Goosbumps series, specifically trying to find "Vampire Breath" and "Revenge of the Garden Gnomes". After a reproachful look from said sweet little mom, I looked at my kids and said rather loudly "You know what garden gnomes LOVE to eat? Fairies!" Sweet Mom and girls began looking for books elsewhere...

Saturday, April 21, 2012 at 10:48am CDT

In explaining that there's nothing to be afraid of in the dark, Tyler looks at me as if I was the poster child for stupidity and says "yeah, nothing to be afraid of but the Hideous Creatures of the Night". Well, yeah. Nothing but those.

Monday, April 16, 2012 at 7:07pm CDT

Tyler "Let's get out back and hunt monsters!" Julia "Why don't we sit on the deck and discuss things?" Ava "I'm going to sit on the deck and play with my thingy".

Sunday, April 15, 2012 at 12:55pm CDT

Tyler is jumping on his bed with underwear on his head while he plays the harmonica. That's how we roll.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012 at 8:10am CDT

Julia "What do I smell?" Ava "You smell some AVA! And it smells GREAT!"

Thursday, April 5, 2012 at 6:31pm CDT

Ava "Mom, I tied myself to my chair."

Wednesday, April 4, 2012 at 4:51pm CDT

Ava looks at me reproachfully today as she said "You said it would warm up in Spring! It colded up, Mommy!"

Monday, April 2, 2012 at 12:07pm CDT

Ava is trying to get me to pull out her just barely loose tooth. I say to her "Ava, honey. Mom is kind of an expert on teeth. Trust me". Ava's response "Ummm, Mom? Last I checked you weren't a dentist". Seriously?

Sunday, April 1, 2012 at 7:39pm CDT

Tyler "I'd take a few more wings, Mom". Wait, didn't you finish your dinner already. "Well, I thought so, but then I burped and things changed".

Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 12:35pm CDT

Right now I hear Tyler screaming "Woo! Woo! Wooooooo!" and periodic gushes of water being dumped over some poor child in my front yard.

Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 10:25am CDT

Tyler "Can I put peanut butter on my cereal instead of milk?" Yet another question I would have never expected to answer in my lifetime.

Thursday, March 29, 2012 at 11:32am CDT

Ava "Mom, I forgot what strawberries with sugar tastes like. Sure wish I could remember". What she lacks in subtlety she makes up for in cuteness.

Thursday, March 29, 2012 at 7:54am CDT

Julia to Tyler "It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open". Tyler "What? What? How do you know?" It seems Julia has thrown down a gauntlet...one that Ty will spend the next several days trying to take up.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012 at 5:18pm CDT

I told the kids that I saw a leprechaun amid a bunch of clover at the park a few days ago. Just for a quick second...cuz, you know, they're so fast. Anyway, Tyler gets as in depth a description as I could muster given the brevity of my sighting, and has been using this description to fuel a massive leprechaun hunt with his buddies at recess every day. Today, some little girl walked up to him and told him "Tyler, your Mom lied about the leprechaun. They're not real". Tyler looks at me and says "Mom. those are fightin' words". Yes. Yes they are son. Tell that little killjoy to come say that to me. No. I didn't say that.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 at 9:34pm CDT

Tyler "Um, Hey Mom? I have a quick question before I go to bed. How do you make a baby?" Fantastic end to my Tuesday.

Monday, March 26, 2012 at 1:21pm CDT

I spent the morning working and the early afternoon making one of Ava's "dreams come true" by helping her build an elaborate fortress at the park out of rocks, sand and sticks. More work this late afternoon and this evening will be a fun filled fishing adventure--great day--if I can avoid whiplash.

Friday, March 23, 2012 at 4:10pm CDT

Tyler went up to Jason and said "Close your eyes and open your mouth, I have a surprise for you". And he did. How do

Friday, March 23, 2012 at 11:37am CDT

Ava has adopted this strange behavior of running at me from a distance and ramming into me as hard as she can. Over and over and over again. Maybe she's part Mountain Goat. Is this a show of affection or an attempt at dominance? It wouldn't be the first time Animal Planet has informed my parenting style.

Monday, March 19, 2012 at 5:52pm CDT

Just sent Tyler to his room--and he starts playing a soulful little number on his harmonica. He says I gave him the blues.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012 at 9:22pm CDT

Me "Kids, go to bed." Ava "No thank you". This might not be a bad time for me to differentiate "order" from "request".

Saturday, March 10, 2012 at 9:06am CST

Me "Tyler, I don't want to hear any whining at all this weekend". Tyler "Great. You just ruined my whole weekend plan, Mom. Thanks". Smart Alec.

Thursday, March 8, 2012 at 6:00pm CST

Julia: The chicks I got (at school) just hatched! 9 of them hatched. Here are their names: General peep, Willow Jr., Cheese head, Cheese puff, Billy Bob Jr., Chicken little, Pipsqueak, Fuzz ball, and Ming Ming! I came up with the name Cheese puff. I also wanted to name one Disco chick.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012 at 2:19pm CST

Ava "Mom, do monkeys have peewee places?" Me "Yes, they do. Let's not talk about this anymore".

Monday, March 5, 2012 at 7:05pm CST

Ava "Is Julia done gurgling yet?" Me "What? She's researching for her report". Ava "No, Mom, she's gurgling!" Julia "AVA! I'm GOOGLING"!

Friday, March 2, 2012 at 8:53am CST

The kids made a "Big Foot Bed" out in our backyard last night, hoping to lure the giant beast into our backyard. As I surveyed their handiwork, I found a paper plate with peanut butter on it laying in the middle of the bed--an attempt to further entice their target. Given all the creatures drawn to peanut butter that I would rather not have anywhere near my house, it's clearly time for me to enact Operation Sasquatch Elimination. First step-- incite unreasonable fear of the ferocious man eating beast.

Monday, February 27, 2012 at 4:41pm CST

In looking at the picture Ty made of him and Juia and Ava sledding down a hill, I gave him a big kiss and told him that it warmed my heart that he pictures winter with so much love for his family. He responds "Um, Mom, didn't you notice the hot chocolate? I'm trying to beat them to the hot chocolate shop". Of course.

Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 3:34pm CST

Tyler "Mom, this summer, I'm going to find Big Foot. I'm gonna need a lot of peanut butter".

Tuesday, February 21, 2012 at 6:36pm CST

Hi people this is Julia speaking I am a lucky duck because I get to see my cousins on Friday and I rarely get to see them! I am so excited!

Saturday, February 18, 2012 at 7:02pm CST

Ty "Zombies don't hurt you, they only eat your brain". Might not hurt to pick up one of those human body books and have a discussion. Or two.

Friday, February 17, 2012 at 3:16pm CST

Tyler has been saving since shortly after Christmas for Skylanders for the Wii. Every day he's been counting his money and calculating how much money he has in the bank...and then today, both Julia and Ava decided to help him out and combine their money with his...and they bought it together for the three of them. I took three ecstatic kids to Target today to pick up their hard earned game. Warms my heart.

Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 8:18pm CST

Ava was running around naked tonight screaming and yelling, freaking out the cat and prompting a predatory attack on her buck naked shoulder, Julia hit her head...on her own knee... and Tyler's got a bum wheel due to a wipe out on the stairs. Let the post Valentine's Day sugar crash begin

Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 3:53pm CST

Julia just told me she's going to Paris on her golden birthday. Seems like a pretty fantastic dream. I just realized that, on my golden birthday, I was 7 months pregnant with her--another pretty fantastic dream.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012 at 3:28pm CST

Valentine's Day according to Tyler: "Tonight is Crush Night Mom. I'm going through all these things to find proof of who is crushing on me".

Monday, February 13, 2012 at 7:12pm CST

"MOM! I figured out how to do a video on my DS--tomorrow I'm gonna make a horror video--you can be my star!!" Just what every Mom longs to hear...

Sunday, February 12, 2012 at 8:05pm CST

Perhaps one of the funniest things, when you completely remove yourself from the chaos, is listening to all three kids fighting. Julia yells some totally articulate generalized grievance while Tyler belts out some forceful accusation...and then there's Ava. Completely flustered and spitting mad, screaming out all the wrongs the two of them have ever done to her while replacing all "r" sounds with "w" sounds. It's like listening to Daffy Duck scream at Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam.

Saturday, February 11, 2012 at 1:53pm CST

Julia's making signs for her teammates to hold up to help cheer on her basketball team this afternoon. They are the Panthers, and on each sign, there is a fun fact about Panthers "Did you know, Panthers are the strongest cats on earth?" Followed by "proof" of each fun fact. These signs seem more scientifically inclined than your average cheer props.

Monday, February 6, 2012 at 8:02pm CST

Ava talked me into playing Little People with her, then unceremoniously tossed a farmer at me and ordered me to "act lame" while she played with the cool pieces. ????

Monday, February 6, 2012 at 7:02pm CST

Julia came home from school today and said she wants to drop Spanish because it's cutting into too much of her family time. <3

Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 10:45am CST

Ava "Mom, I don't like being a big fat tick". Me "Honey, no one likes being a big fat tick. But being a big fat tick is the only way you can go play in the snow". Ava "Alright, I'll be a tick, but I won't like it"."

Friday, February 3, 2012 at 7:30pm CST

As we are preparing to make milkshakes/malts after dinner, Tyler grabs the syrup, opens it and points it at Julia. Jason and I simultaneously yell for him to drop the syrup. His response "What could possibly go wrong? I have a magical butterfly in my pants". Oh. I hadn't factored in the butterfly. Carry on.

Monday, January 30, 2012 at 7:51am CST

just told the kids to relax and enjoy the ride. Tyler "Hey, Lady. That's some good advice". Well, Bud, they don't call me Mom for nothin'.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012 at 3:27pm CST

Tyler comes home from school and pronounces "The day is coming, all people of the world. The day is coming when I will tell you all exactly what I think!". Then he went into the kitchen to grab an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. I wonder if the suspense will kill me?

while reading Batman with Tyler this afternoon after school, I hear Ava exclaim "Holy Shrimp! Why'd you do that Julia?" from the kitchen. After clarifying that it was, in fact, shrimp that I heard, I have to admit that I am a little impressed, despite what this might mean about what has, or has not, slipped out unintentionally in her presence. Can't say I've ever used a crustacean to express myself, but, it kind of works.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 12:31pm CST

Ava is making a robot to carry with her so she doesn't miss me so much when I'm on campus. I wonder if she could just rip out my heart and stomp all over it.

It's messages like this that make me long for the spontaneity of my life before children...of course, one little "Mama, can I cuddle with you?" usually puts things back in perspective. Usually.

Friday, January 20, 2012 at 4:12pm CST

Tyler has picked out his bachelor pad for when he and his buddies go to college. Too bad one of his buddies' parents currently reside there.

Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 8:02pm CST

Ava denounced her belief in my Mom Powers today. When I asked her how she explained my inexplicable level of awesomeness in the absence of said powers, she sat there for a moment and then rescinded her denouncement. I can rest easy for a little while longer with the knowledge that somewhere in her mind she still believes she might see the eyes in the back of my head.

Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 4:54pm CST

Tyler handed me a gooey, half sealed, battered envelope and, with big, innocent eyes asks "Mom, will you lick this closed so I can give money to the poor?" Sure son, I'll take one for the team. Ew.

Sunday, January 15, 2012 at 1:01pm CST

tyler..."Hey Mom, I cleaned my room, then I took a picture of the girls' messy room". My little over-achie

Friday, January 13, 2012 at 5:51pm CST

funniest moment of my week--- leaving to *voluntarily* take the girls to Claire's and Ava coming screaming out of her room, pants half on, piggy bank the size of her head bobbling in her hands, tears streaming "WAIT! I need to get my $10!"

Friday, January 13, 2012 at 1:56pm CST

Ava sitting on the potty and Tyler sitting outside the bathroom door reading her a story---that's brotherly love.

Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 6:11pm CST

so, Ava has pink eye and as I noted eye matter in her until now unaffected eye, she yells "I have madness in the other eye too?!".

2013: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts from 2013

2016-12-08T20:12:00.004-06:00

Monday, December 30, 2013 at 7:19pm CST

Ava "Mom, I want nothing more than to attack you right now". Under most circumstances, I would be highly concerned about this statement--however, given that I am teaching her how to play chess, I think I can let it slide.

Sunday, December 22, 2013 at 1:33pm CST

Ava- "Mommy. I'm going to show you a video of me jumping off the basement wall. And it's funny, so I want you to laugh, not get me in trouble. Do you think you can do that?"

Friday, December 13, 2013 at 7:38am CST

The kids are calling out the oppressive nature of Mistletoe. "No stupid plant can tell me who to kiss! I have a right to kiss who I want, when I want!" #Christmasactivitism

Tuesday, December 10, 2013 at 3:51pm CST

My first grade daughter just nonchalantly walked by an 8th grade boy and said "Yo. 'Sup, Man". Surprised, I looked at him and asked if she was talking to him. He laughed and said "It's cool. It's a thing we do". WHAT?

Sunday, November 24, 2013 at 9:48pm CST

Ava "Mom. I'm afraid The Burrito Balls may be in trouble". Me "Why's that honey?" Ava "We keep dropping like flies and I think there won't be enough of us pretty soon" Me "Well, I'll be a Burrito Ball if you want" Ava "Thanks, but you're not really Burrito Ball material Mom. Anyway, I don't think you'd like it" And so there I am. Living on the margins of the Burrito Balls.

Friday, November 22, 2013 at 5:37pm CST

I showed Ava a paper I am working on. She casually thumbs through it, hands it back to me and says "I regret looking at that, Mom".

Thursday, November 21, 2013 at 10:41pm CST

Today, Ava walked up to me and said "Hey. I think I see a Mommy who should be getting a hug. And she's so beautiful!" Let's try, just for a moment, not to focus on the fact that I had just settled up allowances. The moment is so much more sweet without that.

Monday, November 18, 2013 at 8:42pm CST

"If you make me pee my pants, YOU'RE cleaning it up." Excellent Monday night conversation.

Thursday, November 14, 2013 at 5:36pm CST

Ty and I just had an in-depth conversation that ended with us simultaneously questioning whether or not The Force was mostly just static electricity gone wild in a galaxy far, far away. Mind. Blown.

Friday, November 8, 2013 at 9:50pm CST

Tyler "Mom, I'm going to ask for this for Christmas. I think you should know that there's a possibility that it will explode. But I doubt it's very likely. Okay. That's what I needed to say".

Friday, November 8, 2013 at 9:31am CST

Ava was up coughing most of the night last night resulting in two half hour long steam showers in the middle of the night and precious little sleep. This morning, as I stumbled to the coffee maker to find sweet salvation, she looks at me all bright eyed and excited about having the day off and says "So, Mom-what's on the agenda for today?"

Tuesday, November 5, 2013 at 4:04pm CST

Tyler is asking for a Kindle Fire for Christmas. This is a newly articulated request, so, when I asked him why he wants it, he said "Mom. It has a Mayday button. Do you know what I could do if I had a Mayday button?" I wonder if Amazon has thought this new feature through...

Sunday, October 20, 2013 at 1:53pm CDT

Tyler-- "Mom, when you talk about your job, you speak a completely different language. I don't get you at all. Are you sure you're not from Mars?" Most days I would say I'm not at all sure about that.

Saturday, October 19, 2013 at 12:11pm CDT

Ava just asked me who was going to draw the pictures for my dissertation when I write it. I think it's clear that she should be the illustrator.

Friday, October 18, 2013 at 8:52pm CDT

Ava ran up to me and sang "I'm not lovin. I'm not even buggin'. I'm just huggin'." Then she gave me a huge bear hug and ran away. Crazy kid.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 at 7:04pm CDT

I asked Ty how he was doing after school. He responds "You know what, Mom? I just really need some time hanging with my frogs. Do you get me?" Yes, son. Sort of.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013 at 7:04pm CDT

I took Julia to the doctor's office today to have her ear checked out for a possible ear infection. We left after learning that her ears looked perfect--no infection whatsoever. We get in the car feeling all good and as I'm pulling away, she says "You know how sometimes I just sort of black out? I kind of did that in there". WHAT the WHAT?!? I hit the brakes, whip around and look at her. She stops, gives me a confused look and says "Wait, Mom-- no-- I mean, space out". I haven't quite come down from that little scare yet.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013 at 7:20pm CDT

Tyler proclaimed to us this morning that no one at St. Peter's brushes their hair and that we are making him look stupid by making him brush it every morning. After I pointed out to him that my primary job as his mother is, in fact, to make him look stupid, I asked him if all those kids have the same attitude about brushing their teeth. He rolled his eyes at me and said "of course, not, Mom. We're not animals". So, at least there's that.

Saturday, September 21, 2013 at 10:01am CDT

Julia woke up this morning and said "I love my life, Mom!". Ava woke up this morning and said "I love the weekends, Mom!" Tyler woke up this morning and played the fart app Jason downloaded on his i-phone to ensure good smiles at our last family photo session.

Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 3:59pm CDT

"MOM. You can't help me here. It involves getting past a locust, and that's really not one of your strengths". That kid has my number.

Saturday, September 7, 2013 at 2:04pm CDT

So, in preparing to send the kids with Jason to the game today, I took a break from loading them up on water and instructing them on holding hands even if they think it looks dorky to write Jason's cell number on every possible artifact I could (hands, arms, hat rims, paper in pockets). Tyler stops, grabs his hat from me before I could desecrate it with Jason's cell phone number, puts one arm on my shoulder and says "Now, Mom. Don't you think things have gone a little too far here? This hat is for autographs only".

Thursday, September 5, 2013 at 6:54pm CDT

Ava "there are times, like right now, when I like Quiet Mommy the best". Right.

Thursday, August 29, 2013 at 7:33am CDT

Julia-- "Mom, is it hard to believe that your daughter is 11?" Me- "Yes, it is, Jules. Is it hard to believe that your Mom is 39?" Jules--"Nope, that sounds about right".

Wednesday, August 28, 2013 at 8:02pm CDT

Ava "Mommy, ice cream has been spotted. And it needs to be eaten. By a girl whose name is Ava." Clearly I need to review active voice with my young first grader.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013 at 5:23pm CDT

Ava "Mom, why can't your meetings all be here at home? That way I could come down and squeeze you whenever I wanted".

Tuesday, August 20, 2013 at 7:30am CDT

Tyler just walked up to me and told me that he is using his last 31 minutes of summer to create a countdown until next summer.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013 at 9:55pm CDT

I went to Deetz today and bought Ava the bongo she's been wanting for her birthday. The guy there had seen us in there looking at various instruments, remembering all three kids and their various instrumental preferences (Ava-drums, Ty-guitar, Julia-piano) and he asked me when I was going to get a bus to start touring with the kids. Made me smile. And consider how sweet that would be...

Monday, July 22, 2013 at 10:28pm CDT

I gave Ava a kiss goodnight tonight and was met with "Oh yeah. There's the sugar, Mommy". Yep. That happened.

Monday, July 15, 2013 at 10:01pm CDT

Tyler turned 9 this past week and has now decided that he will be my guardian. Based on the intensity with which he proclaimed himself my defender/protector, I feel sorry for the next guy that cuts me off in the Target parking lot.

hursday, July 11, 2013 at 6:13pm CDT

"Ahhhh! You made me feel like I was gonna pee!!!" Yes, folks, I've still got it. The Mominator.

Thursday, July 11, 2013 at 9:44am CDT

Ava "Mom, I'm hungry" Me-- Just a minute, I'll get you snack. Ava "It's okay, I just ate my burp". Brilliant.

Monday, July 8, 2013 at 4:35pm CDT

I was texting a friend of Julia's on her behalf, because that's my newest pre-teen Mom duty--social life receptionist-- and Julia says "just don't use any of those big college communication words. I know what you mean, Mom, but most people don't".

Friday, July 5, 2013 at 6:16pm CDT

Ava just ran into our living room while Jason and I were talking and yelled "I just wanted to let you know that I am not planning to interrupt you guys!"

Wednesday, July 3, 2013 at 4:02pm CDT

This week I've learned: 1) Ava plans to adopt all of her babies, and they will all have different colored skin because she doesn't think we have enough cultures in our family. Further, she hopes I'm up to being a grandma to her 10 or 20 kids. 2) Tyler plans to never have kids because that would mean he'd have to marry a girl 3) Julia is far too mature for these kinds of conversations, so her opinion on the matter has not been disclosed.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013 at 6:52pm CDT

Famous Last Words "Do NOT fling fly guts on me!" Guess what got flung on me after Julia identified the two horse flies in our house as Public Enemy #1?

Funny is eavesdropping on Ava as she cracks herself up practicing one-liners she thinks are going to "zing" each member of the family.

Friday, June 21, 2013 at 3:38pm CDT

The kids started fighting during their water fight this afternoon. About 10 minutes into their punishment--sent to rooms--, Tyler comes down and says he wanted to tell me what happened from each of their three perspectives. He proceeded to lay out for me what happened and how each of them felt/probably felt during the fight. Quite a bit more time making the case for his own perspective--but definitely some good thought put into how the girls felt. Proud Mom Moment!

Sunday, June 9, 2013 at 2:38pm CDT

My afternoon at the ballpark--"I'm cold, I'm hot, I have to pee. I'm bored, I'm not, I cannot see". Next time, I hope to leave Dr. Suess at home.

Thursday, June 6, 2013 at 9:24pm CDT

At tonight's baseball game, Ty prefaced every at bat by bending down, grabbing dirt and rubbing his hands together, Jackie Robinson style. 42 had quite an impact...

Monday, June 3, 2013 at 1:41pm CDT

I took Ava and Tyler to camp this morning, and as I leaned in to give Ava a kiss good-bye, she hissed at me and ran off to join her friends. It rattled me so much I tripped and fell face forward leaving the school. If she thinks she's getting home made cookies for tomorrow's lunch, she's got another thing coming. I'll pack some Tender Vittles.

Friday, May 31, 2013 at 9:30pm CDT

All three kids fighting at the store after the ballgame--all three kids required to hold hands until we got to the car. It was the funniest, most awkward punishment I've ever imposed. So I think I'll do it again.

Thursday, May 30, 2013 at 7:16pm CDT

"Ava can I take your picture?" "This is all you get Mama-- work with it!"

Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 9:16pm CDT

And...we end mother's day with sweet kisses goodnight and Julia's comment "Mom. I'm glad I'm pretty much a mini-you". Me-- Jules, you've got your own personality. "I know, Mom. But same hair, same eyes, same ability to freak out all the time. We're pretty similar." Super.

Monday, April 29, 2013 at 3:59pm CDT

Tyler "My friends and I have a plan. After homework is done, we're getting in our boxer shorts, going to the basement and watching some tv". When did my son start consorting with Al Bundy?

Saturday, April 27, 2013 at 12:01pm CDT

"Hey Mom! Open your mouth and close your eyes!" Yeah right. This isn't my first rodeo, kiddo.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 at 3:57pm CDT

Great, Ava just told Julia and Tyler that some kid called her a turd and grabbed her head at recess. Julia's asking for details--name, classroom, dismissal group. Suddenly, Tyler pipes up."Ava--go get the yearbook, I need to see what he looks like. Where can I find this kid? We need to arrange a meeting so I can handle this". As I step in to intervene, I nearly get knocked out by the Karate Kid Flamingo kicks Julia's doing in a show of solidarity. Yep. This is exactly what I need.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013 at 7:50am CDT

Tyler walks into my room while I was changing, falls to the ground and screams "My Eyes! They burn! Make it stop!" How'd he know I needed a confidence boost this morning?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013 at 7:52am CDT

I had Julia change her leggings because there was a hole in them. I was met with "UNBELIEVABLE!" as she ran upstairs to change. I mused under my breath "Am I really that hard to believe?". All of a sudden, Ty walks up to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and says in a deadly serious voice "Yes Mom. Sometimes you really are hard to believe".

Saturday, April 6, 2013 at 2:08pm CDT

Tyler "I want to live in the less calm part of Lincoln, Mom". Sweetheart, I don't think you have much of a choice. I'm pretty sure that part of Lincoln lives within you.

Monday, April 1, 2013 at 2:51pm CDT

I heard a MAJOR crash and went running outside in a panic to make sure all three kids are okay. I look them over and half say/half yell "What happened????" To which Tyler replies. "Nothing! I fell and the gutter reacted."

Sunday, March 31, 2013 at 1:58pm CDT

Ava "So, Jesus died on the cross for me and the Easter Bunny brought me a bunch of candy. What's your Easter present to me, Mommy?" I get taking a back seat to Jesus, but I don't need some rabbit throwing me under the bus.

Sunday, March 31, 2013 at 7:19am CDT

Happy Easter, Everyone! Or, as Tyler whispered to me during Easter Vigil Mass last night...."celebrate good times, come on!"

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 at 10:06pm CDT

Ava climbed into bed with me so she could snuggle in and tell me about her day. Julia and Ty figured out where we were and jumped in with us, laughing and giggling. Ava leans in and whispers, "Why'd they have to ruin our moment, Mommy?" Love that girl.

Monday, March 25, 2013 at 4:57pm CDT

I was asking the kids about their first day back after vacation. After a lot of excited jibber jabber, Ty looks at me and says "Well, there was one bad part for me today. I sneezed all over my buddy in church". Hmm...seems like maybe your buddy got the raw end of that deal, Ty.

Saturday, March 23, 2013 at 8:28pm CDT

Walked into the man-made swamp that seems to have replaced my bathroom after baths to hear Ava scream "I didn't splash at all you believe me right, Mom?" Hmm. Let me think that one through, Aves.

Saturday, March 16, 2013 at 2:01pm CDT

Ty thinks Alabama looks pretty "Squatchy"

Friday, March 15, 2013 at 6:54pm CDT

Ava's warning: "I think I have to go to the bathroom and I think I can hold it for a minute". Luckily, we found a place right next to some after hours taxidermy operation.

Thursday, March 14, 2013 at 5:19pm CDT

Ava: "Mom, I'm going to just warn you right now. I know what 12 + 12 is and I'm not afraid to tell you."

Monday, March 11, 2013 at 4:48pm CDT

Ty "I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be a heart doctor. I think I'd hurt a lot of people". Solid rationale.

Friday, March 8, 2013 at 8:47pm CST

Tyler looked at me tonight and said "Mom, when I'm in trouble, your eyes look right through me. It gives me the shivers". And don't you forget it, young man.

Friday, March 8, 2013 at 4:05pm CST

Today after school I told Tyler "I'm proud of you, buddy". He responds with "You wouldn't be proud of me on the inside, Mom. Trust me". Um. Right. What?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013 at 9:11pm CST

Ava "Dr. Suess should write a book about how to wipe yourself". Yes. Yes he should. And now, for the next several days, in whatever down time I can muster, I'll be thinking about what a book like that might look like.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 5:20pm CST

I walked into the kitchen and heard Tyler say "Ssshhhh! The Dark Lord has returned!" Does anyone have any thoughts on how I might re-frame this in a way that's just slightly more face-saving?

Saturday, February 23, 2013 at 9:34am CST

In honor of their love of pancakes, Tyler and Ava have re-written Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's to Hey Aunt Jemima.

Thursday, February 21, 2013 at 2:21pm CST

Ava tripped Ty and he landed face first in the snow. To make it fair, Ava dove head first into the nearest snow pile.

Monday, February 18, 2013 at 4:14pm CST

So today, I took the kids shopping for dance shoes, leotards, warm jammies and new shoes. While out wrangling up all this new stuff for the kids, I bend over to make sure the shoes Ava has on fit her well, and notice that there is the beginning of a hole wearing in the seat of my jeans. Noting that I was a whole 5 minutes ahead of schedule, I spied some cute jeans that I thought I'd quick try on before running Tyler over to his friend's house for the afternoon. I quickly snagged the jeans, delegated responsibility for Ava and Ty to Julia and darted in the fitting room. For the first time in my life, the first pair of jeans I grabbed fit great...and they were on sale, so, I was starting to realize that this was, in fact, the perfect storm. As I walked out feeling oh so good about myself, all three kids are standing there, laughing hysterically at me. Not willing to let go of this wonderful feeling, I ignored them...until Julia says to me "Uh, Mom? You know that was the men's dressing room right?" Horrified, I looked up and realized there was also a camera on me as I strutted out of the room. So, if you see a news story about a pervert lady stalking men in the dressing rooms at Shopko---that would be me.

Saturday, February 16, 2013 at 8:19am CST

This morning I hear Ava scream at the top of her lungs-- "Happy Appendix Day Ty!" Happy First Penance to my handsome young man!

Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 5:10pm CST

Ty "So, the principal came in and said she needed three strong children. She picked me. I can't say I'm surprised".

Tuesday, February 12, 2013 at 7:31pm CST

Ava walked up to me and said "I love Valentine's Day. Except that my eyebrows always get sticky". Interesting take.

Sunday, February 10, 2013 at 7:31pm CST

Me: "So, Ty, what sport do you like to play the MOST?" Ty-- "Umm...I don't know. Probably football. And basketball. And tennis. And baseball and golf. Soccer maybe, too. Yeah. Probably those." So much for narrowing things down a bit.

Friday, February 8, 2013 at 5:44pm CST

Ty just called his buddy, ran upstairs to his room for privacy, loudly and deliberately recited the exact time, then scheduled their next phone call. In 20 minutes. Something tells me I'd better get out ahead of this one.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013 at 10:42pm CST

Memorable Mom Moments: 100th Day of Kindergarten. First child: Julia brought 100 stickers-purchased specifically in celebration of the occasion. Second child: Tyler brought 100 fishing lures that we scrounged up the night before the occasion. Third child: Ava brought "100 pieces of air" to make up for the fact that we completely blew the 100th day off. It's all in the birth order.

Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 9:58am CST

Last night, after telling me that I'm ruining his life because I won't let him buy a dog with the $20 bill he handed me, Tyler looked at me and gave me a hug and said "I missed you today Mommy". Man, I hope he never outgrows that.

Thursday, January 17, 2013 at 9:42am CST

Tyler is getting two teeth pulled this afternoon. In a strategic move designed to lessen his anxiety, I didn't say anything until this morning. Our conversation on the way to school "Mom, will it hurt? Is it scary? Has this ever happened to you? Is the needle big? Will there be blood? Will it be foggy out? Will it be cold out? How cold will it be? How much will it hurt? Is this normal? How many kids does this happen to? What do they do when they find out?". I'm Not sure my strategy worked.

Sunday, January 13, 2013 at 8:54am CST

Sounds of Sunday-- Ava barking like a seal in the bathtub (croupy cough), Tyler narrating every move he makes in the third person as he practices his sports announcing, Julia's commentary contradicting Tyler's take on things peppered in for good measure...

Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 9:44pm CST

Listening to Tyler and Ava laugh themselves silly as he reads silly poems to her from my childhood copy of "Where the Sidewalk Ends" never gets old.

Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 9:25am CST

Tyler looked at me all lovingly yesterday and said "Mommy? You know what? You've got one of those super cool Dumbledore moles." It's kind of hard not to get a big head around here, with compliments like that.

2014: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts from 2014

2016-12-08T20:12:00.002-06:00

Tuesday, December 9, 2014 at 7:18pm CST

I love that, even at 40, my Mom is still calling me up to make sure I don't miss Rudolph.

Sunday, December 7, 2014 at 7:53pm CST

Sitting at Mellow Mushroom. Ava looks at me and says "what is this place? French? Alabama? What?"

Friday, November 28, 2014 at 7:40am CST

I just learned that I am ruining Tyler's life in three distinct, yet equally important ways: (1) I won't tolerate him saying "crap" or "suck" when expressing frustration, making him look like a goody two-shoes (2) I have blocked cartoon network, preventing him from engaging in 80% of lunchroom conversation (3) He gets sent to his room when he rolls his eyes at me If nothing else, I'm thorough.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 at 11:50am CST

Upon hearing my discussion with Julia about spending Thanksgiving with family this year, Ava walks up to me and said "Mama, I just need a clarification. Are we or are we not making our own turkey tomorrow?" I explained that we were not making a turkey tomorrow. She presses me further with "Okay, one more clarification-are we or are we not going to have leftovers?" My ensuing response of "no" lead to a minor panic episode. Sometimes I really miss being able to get away with a little parental ambiguity.

Monday, November 17, 2014 at 9:35pm CST

Ava "Mom, so, have we made arrangements for you to be buried close to where I'm living?" Damn. I knew I forgot something on my To Do list.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014 at 7:45am CST

Ava was asking me if the people living in Hungary were hungry. I said probably some of them are hungry, just like here in the US. She thought for a moment, looked at me and exclaimed "It just makes sense that they should all move to Turkey then!" That's how we roll--solving the problems of the world over pancakes...

Tyler: " I can't be an evil clown for Halloween. It's against my identity. I might have to just be a zombie". Surprisingly, this makes sense to me.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 at 8:13pm CDT

Today we said goodbye to what was perhaps the best amphibian on this earth. Good-bye dear, Fang. You have been a wonderful companion to Tyler this past year and a half. I'm not sure how Bob will carry on without you--we'll miss your middle of the night croaks and the way you out-smarted all those crazy crickets. You're forever in our hearts. And, apparently, our backyard.

Saturday, September 6, 2014 at 9:22pm CDT

Ava is planning out our family's future. We are going to own an animal conservatory that caters to wolves, tigers, lions, horses, deer, bears and monkeys (in the attic). We will also have dolphins, swordfish, and sharks. Each of the three kids will specialize in one of these animals (the others we'll just wing, I guess). We will provide education for the public. Jason and I have a special role--we will be responsible for providing the food and for cleaning up the poop. Things aren't looking all that great for our retirement...but, on the bright side, I guess we can look forward to family togetherness.

Friday, September 5, 2014 at 5:17pm CDT

Tyler "My homework this weekend is to practice talking loudly. I don't think I need to practice that". No, Bud. I think you're good.

Sunday, August 17, 2014 at 7:25pm CDT

Ava "Mom. I think you're pretty tough to live with 8 other feet that smell like mine". It's hard to be humble in the face of such praise.

Friday, October 24, 2014 at 8:42pm CDT

Tyler "Hey mom, you know how everybody knows that one kid who if he ever gets handcuffed, you know he'll be just fine?" Uhhhh...no--why, is that you? "No way! I'm not that guy! I'm the guy that knows the guy. And that's all I need". Fun Friday night conversations...

Thursday, August 7, 2014 at 8:49pm CDT

Ava comes up to me dripping wet and wrapped in a towel. "Hey Mom. I just got out of the shower. I didn't wash my hair and I didn't wash my body". Productivity has clearly plummeted in this house over the summer...

Monday, August 4, 2014 at 8:33pm CDT

Ava and her friend are singing together in their new band. The song they are singing goes a little something like this: "Oh you're a person! Yes, you're a person! And there's no way to change that, At least not yet So I love that you're person Until the day you're not a person Anymore..." Despite the somewhat creepy lyrics, I'm growing fond of the tune.

Saturday, July 26, 2014 at 6:37pm CDT

Tyler "Mom, you can talk Dad into about anything. I mean, I've got a gecko for crying out loud. Can't you talk him into letting Ava get a hamster?" It is in moments like this that I get a small glimpse into our Thanksgiving Day conversations 20 years from now.

Saturday, July 26, 2014 at 9:34am CDT

This morning our whole family excitedly gathered around Daniel the Gecko's new home and watched him eat his very first calcium laced crickets. I guess it's time to admit that we're a strange family.

Monday, July 14, 2014 at 12:32pm CDT

I told the kids that we're heading to the Omaha Zoo tomorrow and Ty yells in excitement "Oh GREAT! That's where I'm fighting the revolution!" So, not exactly what I expected...

Sunday, July 13, 2014 at 3:01pm CDT

Tyler "Mom, now that I'm 10, I think I should fill you in on some of my plans..." Should be an interesting conversation this evening...

Monday, July 7, 2014 at 5:15pm CDT

Tyler, after I asked him what movie he'd like to see on our upcoming movie date. "That depends. If I'm in a bad mood, I want to see giant monsters. If I'm in a good mood, I want to see criminals". So, he's kind of a fly by the seat of his pants kind of a guy, I guess.

Saturday, July 5, 2014 at 9:15pm CDT

Ava "Mom... Is it okay if, from now on, I take an hour a day to close my eyes and just think?" Ummmmm.... Let me think---Yes.

Friday, July 4, 2014 at 9:49pm CDT

Tyler, amid the all the fireworks and chaos that epitomizes the 4th of July in Lincoln: "My favorite thing about the 4th of July....seeing dad run".

Thursday, July 3, 2014 at 10:30pm CDT

My 11 year old looked at me tonight and observed "Mom, in this family, we support each others' dreams". Wow. That's a powerful thing to hear your child say.

Sunday, June 8, 2014 at 9:47pm CDT

As I sat her and typed another inquiry about fundraising for my niece, Ava walks up to me and says " Another one? Let's face it, Mom. If you can do anything for anybody--you'll do it". I couldn't stop the tears.

Friday, June 6, 2014 at 12:06am CDT

Ava looked at me tonight after getting home from a long evening at (multiple) ballparks and said "Home is different from every other place, Mom". I asked her what she meant, and she said "Home is just...comfortable. And lovey. And snuggly", Exactly, sweet girl. Exactly.

Thursday, May 29, 2014 at 8:30pm CDT

Ava- " Mom, you're an interesting Mom. And juicy, too". So, that's one I'll tuck away for a rainy day.

Monday, May 26, 2014 at 2:30pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos.

Ava-- "This is the most fun I've had since the last time I had this much fun!"

Thursday, May 22, 2014 at 7:26am CDT

Ava has decided that for her birthday she wants a "Mommy Doll"---a doll that looks exactly like me. So cute. Or diabolical. I guess we'll wait and see if she decides to ask for pins next.

Friday, April 11, 2014 at 7:47am CDT

Ava "Mom. I LOVE you. Even though yesterday, for a minute, I didn't." Me "Oh. Well, good. I'm glad to hear I'm back in the game, kiddo" Ava "Yeah. You can't really blame me. It's hard to love someone when they're yanking your tooth out of your head". Me "True dat, Aves. True dat."

Wednesday, October 15, 2014 at 8:30pm CDT Bottoms up. Its probably been 15 years since my last shot of Nyquil. Heres to a good nights sleep and a better tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 at 8:58pm CDT Julia's present to us ?" Me "When I first did what? Attempted to eat my fist? I can't say that I've ever done that, sweetie". Ava "Mom! You're ridiculous. When did you first kiss someone's face off?" Me "Again. Can't say that I've done that. Yet."

Sunday, March 16, 2014 at 9:34am CDT Congratulations to my nephew, Nick Funk on his confirmation today! The girls and I wish we could be there with you all, but we are so glad Jason Castle and Tyler are there with you to celebrate!! We are thinking of you and all the Funks on this very special day!

Thursday, March 13, 2014 at 8:42pm CDT Wisdom gained from a first grade diorama project: When play dough lets you down, place all your trust in Legos.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014 at 8:44pm CDT To watch Jaws, or to not watch Jaws. That is a question. That I face right now. In this moment.

Monday, March 10, 2014 at 5:05pm CDT Ahhhh---the sounds of basketballs bouncing, kids giggling and yelling, bikes and scooters screeching to a halt and slamming to the ground as more kids stop by and join in the fun--the NC (Neighbor Club) is back in full swing!

Friday, March 7, 2014 at 3:55pm CST Ava "I've got a LOT of Mama-Lovin' to do this weekend!" I think that sounds like a GREAT weekend plan :-)

Friday, March 7, 2014 at 12:52pm CST I would have been much happier on this Friday if the person whom I ordered my broccoli and cheddar soup from for lunch either (a) hadn't recognized me as Catholic and/or (b) not felt compelled to inform me that the soup I had been looking forward to all morning was made from a meat-based broth. So here I sit with a bagel and a pickle. Thanks for that.

Thursday, March 6, 2014 at 6:07pm CST "Turn around when possible". Perhaps the most frequently heard phrase in my life and one of the (many) joys of being directionally challenged.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014 at 8:05pm CST Ava "Hey Mom, You wanna see my Whoopsie Maker?" That might be the fastest "No" response I have ever produced.

Monday, March 3, 2014 at 4:05pm CST I had a dream last night that I was at the Oscars with Harrison Ford, and he told me that he never made a good movie in all his life. He looked at me with very sad eyes and just as I thought he was going to drop some profound reflective wisdom on me, he said, "You know, Kathy? Making movies ain't like dustin' crops".

Sunday, March 2, 2014 at 9:44pm CST As we begin the week trying to climb out of the polar vortex---take heart. Bob and Fang are eating their crickets again--Spring is coming...

Saturday, March 1, 2014 at 10:12pm CST In the middle of Ty's last basketball game of the season this afternoon, Ty jumped into the stands from the court, runs to the top of the bleachers (where I was sitting) to whisper to me that he loved me. He then proceeded to jump back onto the court and foul (hammer) the kid he was defending. Love that kid.

Saturday, March 1, 2014 at 4:28pm CST What an amazing weekend working with Dr. Wayne Beach on his NIH grant funded research investigating family communication in cancer. Such an amazing opportunity to learn from a wonderful scholar, researcher, and person!

Thursday, February 27, 2014 at 7:43am CST I've decided to wear a scarf today--something I don't often do. Ava looked at me and said "Hi Mom. You look terrible in that." So, there's that.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014 at 1:10pm CST Hi Everyone! My 12 year old niece, Megan, was recently diagnosed with leukemia (ALL). Her dad (my brother, Tom Ford) has said that Megan is drawing a lot of strength from reading messages of support and has requested that we share her page, Megan's Mountain. If you can, please take a minute to click on Megan's Mountain and like this page to show some support for my beautiful niece and her family. We are all walking alongside her as she climbs this mountain, and will fight this battle with her every step of the way. Your messages of support would mean so much to her!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014 at 7:45am CST Tyler's been up and ready for school since 6:30am--and has been singing karaoke ever since. Loudly.

Monday, February 24, 2014 at 12:04pm CST There are days it is seriously difficult to remember that my job as a parent is to prepare my kids for difficulty, not necessarily protect them from it.

Sunday, February 23, 2014 at 3:53pm CST At home this evening, finally relaxing after an incredibly long week. Reflecting a bit on the events of the week--I'm thankful for so many things, but mostly for faith, family, and friends. We all have mountains to climb, and when we find ourselves tossed at the foot of one-- its these three that make that climb possible. As we get ready to climb Megan's Mountain, these three things will be the key.

Saturday, February 22, 2014 at 9:40pm CST My son just screamed at his sister, then apologized to Bob for scaring him. Bob the frog.

Saturday, February 22, 2014 at 9:15pm CST Kathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos — with Lisa Franzen-Castle and Ryan Castle. Parents of the year -- out karaoking with the kids on a Saturday night-- happy birthday uncle Ryan!!

Friday, February 21, 2014 at 2:11pm CST The Three Amigos and founding members of The Burrito Balls.

Thursday, February 20, 2014 at 12:53pm CST Kathy Ford Castle with Tessa Hughes. Went up to have lunch with Ty today at school and found myself in the middle of a "water chugging contest". 4.65 seconds is the time to beat, in case you're interested.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014 at 11:03am CST As Ava asked if she could read the article I was reading about managing stigma in "invisible" illness, Julia told me that she hopes I can help her with her Statistics homework when she gets her PhD. Tyler has decided that he might be a doctor--he's just not sure of what yet. All of these things make me happy :-)

Saturday, March 29, 2014 at 7:18am CDT

As soon as I opened my eyes this morning, Ava is 2 inches from my face and says "Don't panic, Mom". As I try to wrap my head around what exactly she means, Julia comes running up screaming about how Tyler was trying to do CPR on her. Tyler follows laughing his head off. So--it's going to be that kind of day. SO happy to be bringing our brand of crazy to Des Moines today as we get a chance to spend some time with my brother Tom Ford, Tara, Megan, and Noah! Planning a fun day celebrating Tom and Noah's birthday with pizza, cake, carnivals and all sorts of good times!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014 at 9:15pm CDT

Ty- "Mom. I'm planning to get drafted to the New Orleans Saints for football, The LA Lakers for basketball, and the Kansas City Royals for baseball. So, I think you should probably get some new luggage".

Tuesday, March 25, 2014 at 4:11pm CDT

Hi Everyone, This is Julia, and I have a quick question. I have a homework assignment that involves me getting 20 or more people's answer to a specific question. My Mom and I created a survey together and I am now posting a link to that survey (it's just one question) in the hopes that twenty or more people will answer the question. If you have time, could you please click this link and answer the question? Thanks!!!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014 at 9:39pm CDT

Ty "I've always wanted to jump on a hospital bed and scream my head off" Julia "I've always wanted to try coconut milk from a real coconut" Ava "I just want to go to bed". I'm totally on board with that one--sweet dreams, munchkins...

Sunday, March 16, 2014 at 7:06pm CDT

Ava "Mom? How old were you when you first, you know, <exaggerated kissing sounds against fist>?" Me "When I first did what? Attempted to eat my fist? I can't say that I've ever done that, sweetie". Ava "Mom! You're ridiculous. When did you first kiss someone's face off?" Me "Again. Can't say that I've done that. Yet."

Friday, March 7, 2014 at 3:55pm CST

Ava "I've got a LOT of Mama-Lovin' to do this weekend!" I think that sounds like a GREAT weekend plan :-)

Saturday, March 1, 2014 at 10:12pm CST

In the middle of Ty's last basketball game of the season this afternoon, Ty jumped into the stands from the court, runs to the top of the bleachers (where I was sitting) to whisper to me that he loved me. He then proceeded to jump back onto the court and foul (hammer) the kid he was defending. Love that kid.

Thursday, February 27, 2014 at 7:43am CST

I've decided to wear a scarf today--something I don't often do. Ava looked at me and said "Hi Mom. You look terrible in that." So, there's that.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014 at 7:45am CST

Tyler's been up and ready for school since 6:30am--and has been singing karaoke ever since. Loudly.

Monday, February 24, 2014 at 12:04pm CST

There are days it is seriously difficult to remember that my job as a parent is to prepare my kids for difficulty, not necessarily protect them from it.

Saturday, February 22, 2014 at 9:40pm CST

My son just screamed at his sister, then apologized to Bob for scaring him. Bob the frog.

Friday, February 14, 2014 at 3:50pm CST

I took notice of the fact that the shower curtain rod in our bathroom had been bowing--and this was worsening day by day. The other day, I heard a crash and Tyler yell "I'm okay!" As I run upstairs and survey the scene, I realize that our shower curtain rod has been doubling as a pull up bar. 5 stars for creativity, I suppose.

Sunday, February 9, 2014 at 6:42pm CST

Ava walked up and asked me where she could get a bobby pin. I produced said bobby pin for her and that asked what she planned to do with it. "It's for my spy kit Mom. The less you know, the better".

Saturday, February 8, 2014 at 11:30am CST

Tyler is attempting to negotiate a "discount" on his punishment. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how he's envisioning the justification for and actual implementation of this discount--but it makes perfect sense to him, and he's awfully passionate about it.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014 at 8:08pm CST

7 years ago, on a night very much like tonight, I would sit by a fire and read to Julia (then 4), Tyler (then 2), and Ava (newborn). I remember thinking how hard it was to keep their attention for very long, and, as I simultaneously read and juggled kids, I remember longing for the time when we could all sit by the fire and read our own books together. Now here we are, right at that moment I once longed for--and it's pretty awesome. But then again, so was that moment 7 years ago. :-)

Tuesday, February 4, 2014 at 4:13pm CST

On this evening's agenda: 1) Flushing 3 ice cubes down the toilet 2) Locating and placing spoons in beds 3) Find pajamas to wear inside out Here's hoping for a Snow Day tomorrow!

Sunday, February 2, 2014 at 8:17am CST

As I was deep in concentration reading an article over coffee this morning, I suddenly hear the Imperial March and see Tyler making his grand entrance into the day, Darth Vader style.

Monday, January 27, 2014 at 5:42pm CST

You know things have gone horribly awry when, after a quick attempt to play basketball, all the kids storm into the house in opposite directions-each one wearing a look of death- one child to his room to slam mini-basketballs against the wall, another child to the piano to pound the keys as hard as she can, and the third child pacing back and forth trying to figure out with whom she should align.

Friday, January 17, 2014 at 7:37am CST

Tyler looks at me this morning and asks "What. Are you going to a hoe down or something?" Either something in my wardrobe choice this morning has gone REALLY wrong, or oh so right.

Thursday, January 16, 2014 at 3:35pm CST

Today, after school, Tyler looks at Ava, sighs and says "Ava. I've had some time to think about it, and, I owe you an apology". Ava, confused, asks him why. He responds "For not accepting your apology yesterday". Funny how things weigh on their minds...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014 at 7:40am CST

Ava presented me with this trophy last night for "the yummiest dinner ever".

Sunday, January 12, 2014 at 5:31pm CST

Today, during Mass, Ava leans over and says "Mom--give me the sugar". I put my arm around her and give her a little squeeze and she responds "Aww, yeah. That's the stuff".

Wednesday, January 8, 2014 at 7:04pm CST

Things that warm my heart <3: 1) Julia, upon hearing Ava "play dumb" with a friend--"Ava. Don't do that. You're way too smart for that". 2) Ava, asked to make a list of goals for 2014, lists "spend more time with Mom" at the top (not exactly sure how that's humanly possible...unless we homeschool) 3) Tyler appointing himself ultimate protector and defender of our family 4) Ava telling me she doesn't want me to get my PhD because she doesn't want me to be "famous" because she doesn't want to share me

Sunday, January 5, 2014 at 6:37pm CST

So, in Des Moines at Mass, you receive the body and blood of Christ at communion, whereas in Lincoln, you receive the body of Christ only. Tyler, having never gotten Communion in Des Moines since receiving First Communion, took the blood of Christ this weekend. When I asked him how it was, he thought for a moment and responded "Refreshing. It was refreshing, Mom". Indeed.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014 at 10:34am CST

Julia, reflecting on a disagreement she had with Ava, says "You know, the thing that's so problematic is that I just don't know what I could have done differently". Sometimes it's like looking in a mirror with that one.

2015: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts from 2015

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Ava's Chick Names: Mr. Puffington, Mr. Cluckington, Cheeseball, Snickers, Junky Funky, LBJ 111, Pipsqueak, Sunshine, Spongebob. Ava wanted Sir Puffington.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015 at 9:18am CST

Watching The Year Without A Santa Claus and Ava observes that Snow Miser controls all of the North. Since the United States is in the northern hemisphere, Heat Miser has no control at all of the North Pole and concludes that the argument between these two brothers makes no sense. Third Grade Global Awareness = The Downfall of the Miser Brothers.

Thursday, November 26, 2015 at 10:49pm CST

Kathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos.

Today, like every day, I am thankful for the love that fills our hearts and surrounds us each and every day. We spent a quiet day at home and missed seeing our extended family in Falls City, Vinton, Omaha, and Des Moines--though look forward to seeing everyone later in this holiday season. This past year we have seen the love, strength, and beauty of family. We have seen the value of and benefits from hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. We have seen the importance of nurturing your faith. We have seen the power of friendship. We have seen the strength that comes from living according to your values. We have seen the peace that comes from honoring your history. It's been a beautiful year, one for which we are incredibly thankful.Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Tuesday, November 24, 2015 at 10:03pm CST

The girls and I were going through my books and Ava pulled out my Bible from high school. In it, she found two letters from my TEC retreat--Tim Ford and Tom Ford--If I didn't thank you for those beautiful sentiments all those years ago--thank you. You're both amazing brothers.

Friday, November 20, 2015 at 9:45pm CST

My 9 year old daughter just asked me how we know that Jesus' skin was white. I told her it likely wasn't. She asked why all of our pictures show him as white. That, my young daughter, is an excellent observation and an even better question. It'll be fascinating to watch her wrestle with her many, many questions as she grows...

Thursday, November 19, 2015 at 7:42am CST

In the last two weeks, we've had two birds fly full speed directly into our windows. Neither of them, of course, lived to tell their tale to their fellow feathered friends. I am beginning to suspect that our local aves population has deteriorating eyesight and would likely benefit from some sort of species-wide intervention. That, or they are just angry. Angry Birds.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015 at 7:35am CST

Ava, after enduring my morning verbal "are you ready for school" checklist, rolls her eyes in complete exasperation and says "UGH! I HATE having such an ORGANIZED Mom!" Life's rough, kiddo. Go brush your teeth.

Monday, November 16, 2015 at 4:10pm CST

My kids have the homework blues tonight...going to put on a fire, a little early Christmas music, make a roast, and bake cookies to help them cope.

Friday, November 13, 2015 at 12:10pm CST

As a parent, I strive not to protect my children from struggle, but to create a safe space in which my kids can falter, learn, and grow with parental guidance. Too often we define ourselves and other parents based on parental decisions revolving around access and/or exposure to things. Though important to manage what kinds of things our children are exposed to, more important is the parent-child conversation surrounding this access and exposure, particularly when you consider that some of the most important work we do as parents is guiding our children through difficulty and teaching our children how to manage their own lives independent of us. Our time with our children is alarmingly brief, and, though we are always a model and with any luck, a resource for them, our ability to actively guide them through problems is even shorter. Protecting them from struggle and contexts that may lead to struggle is instinctual and opening them up to struggle seems counter-intuitive---but, in my view, it is essential. Rant complete.

Thursday, November 12, 2015 at 7:28am CST

Tyler has officially surpassed Julia in height, spurring me into panicked action. Anyone have recommendations for someone local who can do family pictures at a reasonable price? I need one more before the kids are towering over me--and Ty only has 3 inches to go to catch me.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015 at 7:36am CST

Happy Veteran's Day to my father, DickJoan Ford, and all those who have served or are currently serving our country. Your service and sacrifice are appreciated all year round, but on this day, we honor you and your families in a special way for all that you have given in the name of our freedom.

Monday, November 9, 2015 at 3:35pm CST

So, at tomorrow's daily Mass, Julia reads, Tyler serves, and Ava is in the choir. I told the kids that maybe I should give the homily. They all heartily disagreed.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015 at 8:07am CST

As I was commenting on the absolute beauty of the leaves turning colors this fall and noticing just how gorgeous this particular fall has been, Tyler chimes in and says "you know Mom, you're talking about death. They're dying. And you're enjoying it". So that's my feel good thought for the day courtesy of my astute, smarty-pants young son.

Sunday, November 1, 2015 at 11:55pm CST

It shows my messy house and the fact that my 11 year old son is up WAY too late--but a very special moment! Go KC! #foreverroyal

Saturday, October 31, 2015 at 10:45am CDT

I realized this morning that though my children know Michael Jackson's Thriller, they have never seen the full length video. When I called them over to show it to them, Tyler immediately groaned and said "Is this another lecture with a life lesson or is it something cool, Mom?" I promised him something cool--and Michael did not disappoint. Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015 at 7:35am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 4 new photos — with DickJoan Ford.

Happy 80th Birthday to an amazing man--my father! Your strength, love, and commitment to your family have been and continue to be an incredible gift. We love you!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015 at 5:14pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 10 new photos — with DickJoan Ford.

Happy 59th Wedding Anniversary to my Mom and Dad! Your love for one another and all our family is a true inspiration. We love you!

Saturday, October 17, 2015 at 11:48am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 17 new photos.

Enjoyed a glorious fall morning horseback riding through Indian Cave State Park! Jason Castle

Monday, October 12, 2015 at 9:57pm CDT

This weekend has been jam packed with incredible inspiration from so many different people and experiences. The power of being present with others and to embracing the transformation that occurs in that presence; the importance of listening to and being guided by our children rather than simply directing them; that it is in serving others that we find true joy; how much more rich life is when we seek to understand, learn from, and celebrate others. And, when someone offers you earplugs at a rock concert, ALWAYS accept them.

Sunday, October 11, 2015 at 11:11pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos — with Jason Castle.

Rockin' with Night Ranger, Foreigner. And Def Leppard

Sunday, October 11, 2015 at 2:06pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 2 new photos.

Jason and I missed our chance to see Tony Bennett for our anniversary so we're taking the family to see Def Leppard instead!!

Thursday, October 8, 2015 at 8:57pm CDT

Ava looked at me today and said "Mom. Something's bothering me. I don't like that girls are talked to differently than boys. It's like boys are normal, like what we should be, and girls aren't as good. I don't like it". I asked her to give me some examples, and she did--really good examples. So, I told her that one reason I do what I do is to help people be more aware about how they talk and what that means for being a boy and being a girl. I asked her what she thought she might be able to do about it. "I don't know, Mom. I plan to make surfboards when I grow up." Good talk, kiddo.

Saturday, October 3, 2015 at 1:30pm CDT

Ava "Mom, I know you're not a big time inventor or anything, but you need to help me invent a teleporter. Unless it's already been invented--then you need to help me invent an unteleporter". A girl with a plan.

Friday, October 2, 2015 at 6:00pm CDT

Friday night at the Capital Humane Society with my favorite 13 year old and some beautiful kitties who need loving homes!

Sunday, September 27, 2015 at 9:42pm CDT

Spent a beautiful weekend with my family--not celebrating or having fun, but getting the rare and treasured opportunity to help my parents--the people that have spent their lives helping me. My beautiful mother is getting stronger each day. Even through this extremely difficult week, we were able to laugh together, reminisce a bit, and talk things over. And, let me tell you, there's nothing like being awakened at 2:30am from semi-sleep in a hospital room "recliner" with a shrill "KATHY! Where do you think the Pope is now?!?" I am so hopeful that she continues to recover and that she and my dad can settle back into life back at home starting tomorrow. Please continue to pray for them both. They are truly the most amazing couple I know.

Saturday, September 19, 2015 at 5:06pm CDT

In the middle of one of my "you better check yourself before you wreck yourself" looks to Tyler, he looks at me and says "Mom. Give it up. I know you're laughing under there". Foiled again.

Monday, September 14, 2015 at 10:15pm CDT

Ava "Mom, this is my office. I love it. I'm a doctor too, you know". Me "Oh? What are you a doctor of, Ms. Ava?" Ava "I'm a doctor of something. And it's pretty important. Just like you. And I have a meeting now. So, love you. Bye."

Tuesday, September 1, 2015 at 1:24pm CDT

<3 <3 Happy 80th Birthday to the most amazing and inspirational woman I know. Thank you for teaching me to live each day with love, laughter, curiosity, and faith. I love you more than words can say, Mom. You are such an amazing blessing to me, my family and all those who know you. <3 <3 DickJoan Ford

Sunday, August 30, 2015 at 2:27pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 9 new photos.

As much as I worry about Ty playing football, the kid is in his element out there. Even as the youngest kid out there, he's holding his own. Let's have a great, safe season Assurity C team! Play tough # 74!

Saturday, August 29, 2015 at 6:21pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 16 new photos.

Beautiful day at the Henry Dorley Zoo and Wildlife Safari for Julia's birthday celebration! Anne Ford Wegner

Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 7:09pm CDT

While the kids and I were making our way from the van to the front door after school today and after hearing all about their days, I was talking about the chores I needed them to take responsibility for the rest of the week. Suddenly, I get hit in the head with the casings of some kind of seed or nut and I look up to see a squirrel angrily chattering at me and then watched as it scurried off, apparently satisfied that its point was well made. Guess what, rodent? The kids are still doing laundry this week.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 7:31am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 5 new photos — with Jason Castle.

Happy 13th Birthday to this beautiful young lady! You've brought so much love and joy into our family! We couldn't be more proud of you and the beautiful person you are! We love you.

Friday, August 21, 2015 at 9:08pm CDT

Julia "Mom? So, Mick Affy scanned my computer and there were no issues found, so, can I just x out of it?". Wait, what? Who's Mick Affy and what is he scanning? Julia "You know. Mick Affy. Don't worry, Mom. He never finds anything", Thank you McAfee. Glad to know you're hard at work.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015 at 9:27am CDT

Well, it finally happened. I have been precluded from posting Back to School pictures of the kids. Not only that, all three of them wanted to be dropped off, no waiting for them to make sure they got to their respective areas okay, no walking up and making sure they are all good...just open the van door and jump out with a "bye Mom!" Nothing but the first sounds of silence for three months to ease the pain. I guess I can live with that :-)

Sunday, August 16, 2015 at 6:24pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 11 new photos — with Jodi Ford Safris and 2 others.

What a beautiful weekend! It was so incredibly meaningful to receive my doctoral degree with my husband, children, parents, sisters, and friends by my side and a host of other family, friends, and colleagues with us in spirit. I was reluctant to do much to celebrate, so thanks to Jason Castle, my amazing husband, for insisting that we slow down and celebrate the occasion. Though each and every moment in life is special, some moments are simply more memorable. Thanks to all who made this moment just that. <3 Anne Ford Wegner

Tuesday, December 22, 2015 at 9:18am CST

Tuesday, November 24, 2015 at 10:03pm CST

Monday, November 16, 2015 at 4:10pm CST

My kids have the homework blues tonight...going to put on a fire, a little early Christmas music, make a roast, and bake cookies to help them cope.

Friday, November 13, 2015 at 12:10pm CST

Thursday, November 12, 2015 at 7:28am CST

Monday, November 9, 2015 at 3:35pm CST

So, at tomorrow's daily Mass, Julia reads, Tyler serves, and Ava is in the choir. I told the kids that maybe I should give the homily. They all heartily disagreed.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015 at 8:07am CST

Friday, November 20, 2015 at 9:45pm CST

Tuesday, November 17, 2015 at 7:35am CST

Thursday, October 8, 2015 at 8:57pm CDT

Saturday, October 3, 2015 at 1:30pm CDT

Monday, September 14, 2015 at 10:15pm CDT

Sunday, September 27, 2015 at 9:42pm CDT

Friday, August 21, 2015 at 9:08pm CDT

Wednesday, August 19, 2015 at 9:27am CDT

Sunday, August 16, 2015 at 6:24pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 11 new photos — with Jodi Ford Safris and 2 others.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 at 8:07pm CDT

Julia, after seeing that I was disappointed with the new recipe I tried this evening, "Don't worry, Mom. It's not the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. I ate a magnet once".

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 at 6:24pm CDT

My little inventor just built her first motor!

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 at 6:55pm CDT

Julia and I are officially volunteers at the Capital Humane Society! There's just something so special about seeing your child develop the things she's passionate about. Looking forward to some great time together helping animals in need of care.

Sunday, August 9, 2015 at 2:48pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos.

Ava's Golden Birthday Extravaganza! A trip to Build A Bear followed by loads of fun at The Amazing Pizza Machine and a shopping trip to NE Crossing. Ending the day with Stromboli and lemon merengue pie. I think we'll all sleep good tonight!

2016: A Walk Down Memory Lane: Facebook Posts From 2016

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Tuesday, December 6, 2016 at 10:19am CST Kathy Ford Castle shared Mike Castle's post — with Jason Castle. Congratulations to my father and mother-in-law on retirement (Mike Castle)! After many years of serving the Falls City community as a State Farm agent, Mike is retiring at the end of this month. You and Jean have both truly been "Good Neighbors"! A girl couldn't ask for better in-laws and I wish you both well in the coming years! We look forward to enjoying more time with you as you ease into retirement mode!

Friday, December 2, 2016 at 4:48pm CST I've volunteered to adapt a small portion of my college level conflict communication curriculum for our 8th grade students at St. Peter's. I had lunch with some of them in between my classes today. It is so affirming to hear them talk about how much they are learning and how important the content is for them right now in their lives. Warms my heart. Plus, I got to drink chocolate milk out of a bag.

Sunday, November 27, 2016 at 8:48pm CST As I sit by a warm fire with my family in our cozy little home listening to a brutal wind howl outside, I can't help but remember the homeless man that made his bed night after night in a corner of the entryway of our hotel in Philadelphia. He had cardboard boxes that he neatly tucked away during the day. One morning I walked outside just in time to see him climb out from under his makeshift shelter and watched as he carefully put his meager belongings away. I've thought about him often over the past couple of weeks. Not sure why he resonated with me so powerfully, but I can't shake the thought of him shivering in the cold each night. I hope and pray he finds relief and comfort, and I hope my family can find a way to make a meaningful difference for those who find themselves in this situation.

Thursday, November 24, 2016 at 4:52pm CST Post-Turkey/Pre-Pie Castle Family Reflections of Gratitude by the Fireplace: Faith. Health. Love. Family. Friends. Joy. Laughter. Comfort. Education. Perspective. Community. Impact. Home. Bananas. Football. Potatoes. Socks. Some of us weren't in as "deep" of a place as others...Wishing you all warmth and love this year and always.

Sunday, November 20, 2016 at 11:06am CST As I've said so many times, I have no words for what I am feeling right now. I've had an even more difficult time explaining it to my children, particularly as they ask questions about some of the things they heard over the course of the campaign and in the aftermath of this election. Here is my best attempt to both make sense of and explain this important historical moment to my children. Important to remember, I am no artist nor great social activist--though in those few times in life when I find myself without words, I wish I were both of those things. In any case, I am relying on other artists and great minds to help--thank you Pink Floyd and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thursday, November 17, 2016 at 7:38am CST For those that say the spike in hate crimes and incidences of racially motivated harassment are being exaggerated. They're not. They are occurring on our campus and campuses across this country as experienced, witnessed, and reported by myself and my colleagues. They are occurring across this nation--people do not feel safe and in many instances are not safe. This is where we are now--We all have a role to play in rejecting this and taking a clear stand against it. Please don't defend it, ignore it, or deflect it. Deal with it. Stand against it. Be a part of the solution of this incredibly real problem. This breaks my heart in ways I don't even have the words to describe.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016 at 7:28am CST Last night I was still recovering from our recent trip. Exhausted, I crawled into bed at 8pm. Tyler came into my room hoping to study. I looked at him and said "Hey Bud, I'm fighting a flare right now, can we study tomorrow?". Immediately he puts his books down and proceeds to carefully tuck me into bed and kiss me on the forehead. My son is kind of the best. <3

Sunday, October 23, 2016 at 9:58pm CDT So much of what drives my passion for teaching is the end goal that I strive to achieve for each and every one of my students. I have such high hopes for what we can accomplish together--and it drives my dedication and compels me to sweat even the tiniest of details. As the days unfold I have moments of triumph and moments of defeat--and in those moments I wonder if I set my goals too high...until I realize that getting all of my students to commit to take even one step, let alone several, toward my lofty goals for them is high quality education. And I'm motivated to put that much more toward facilitating their individual journeys. Blessed to be an educator.

Sunday, October 23, 2016 at 5:38pm CDT Kathy Ford Castle added 6 new photos — with Jason Castle. Undefeated at the end of regular season play! Way to go Assurity Team B! Play tough in the championship next week!

Saturday, October 22, 2016 at 8:14pm CDT Kathy Ford Castle added 24 new photos — with Anne Ford Wegner and 4 others. Happy 60th Wedding Anniversary to Mom and Dad! What a beautiful, memorable celebration of an enduring love! We are so blessed!

Kathy Ford Castle shared a memory. Big week for our family! First, a Happy 60th Anniversary to my parents and today, a happy birthday to my Dad! Thank you for being such a great model for all of us, Dad. We love you!!

Thursday, October 20, 2016 at 5:12pm CDT Kathy Ford Castle shared Anne Ford Wegner's post. Would have come up with my own tribute for these two beautiful souls, but my sister Anne Ford Wegner said it perfectly. HAPPY 60th ANNIVERSARY to my WONDERFUL parents! DickJoan Ford

Tuesday, October 18, 2016 at 6:50pm CDT As I'm trying to help Julia with a situation, she stops, exasperated and says "Mom! I can't say that! It sounds like something a 40 year old would say but coming out of a 14 year old's mouth!" After reeling from the sudden and inexplicable attack on my age, I continued to try to help her figure out a Halloween costume. I heard myself saying: "Okay, fine. But, we still need to figure this thing out. Are you saying you want to look just like Katniss, or do you want to sort of look like Katniss but with your own spin on it, or do you want to look like yourself looking like Katniss?" Having a teenager is frying my brain.

Monday, October 17, 2016 at 10:03pm CDT Kathy Ford Castle added 8 new photos. Ty usually plays O-Line--but got put in at Defensive Tackle this past weekend--got his first sack! Jason Castle

Saturday, October 15, 2016 at 9:10pm CDTJust put the finishing touches on my newly developed communicating in conflict curriculum for Julia's 8th grade class. Will be a bit of a transition moving from my college classroom to teaching 8th graders--hoping I can offer them some info that is valuable to them as they move along their life journeys.

Friday, October 14, 2016 at 7:22am CDTKathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos — with Jason Castle.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! We've had an amazing 16 years and I look forward to many, many, many more years together---can't wait for all of the adventures that await us!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016 at 8:27pm CDT Ava's making homemade stress balls using balloons, shaving cream, and flour. As I walk into a kitchen that looks even worse than what you might expect in light of this creative project, I overhear her sarcastically muttering to herself "I wish I could take these things to math class. Math is stressful". She's not wrong.

Thursday, September 29, 2016 at 8:27pm CDT Julia: "Today I totally freaked out. But it was inside my head so no one could tell." Me, in an attempt to be supportive and encourage her to tell me more: "Oh, yeah. I do that all the time." Julia: "Really? It seems like you freak out in public a lot". Me: Deadpan stare Julia: "What? That was funny!" Me: "I'm laughing inside my head. Can you tell?"

Tuesday, September 27, 2016 at 9:37pm CDT Ava "I read in a book that friendships you have when you're a kid don't last". Me "Well, do you think you should believe everything you read?" Ava "MOM! I didn't read it on the Internet! It was a BOOK!" #sourcecredibilityinthedigitalage

Saturday, September 24, 2016 at 10:56am CDT Julia "Mom, as much as I hate to say it, I think you might have been right". Sweeter words have never been spoken.

Sunday, September 18, 2016 at 12:56pm CDT Today as I sat in Mass watching my 12 year old son serving on the altar and my 14 year old daughter singing in the choir, I couldn't help but think back to all those Sundays over the years when Jason had to sit with and manage 3 very young kids at Mass by himself while I sat off the altar, serving as a reader. I do miss reading, but am so glad to support my children's commitment of their time and talent at Mass.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 at 8:47pm CDT Jason and I were going back and forth editing an email together--disagreeing on the best way to respond to a situation. In the midst of the furious typing, frustrated looks and sighs, and the passing of the device back and forth as we each took our turn deleting and re-phrasing the response I stopped and realized what I'm sure we already knew. We, as a couple, suffer from over-collaboration. And I think we need help.

Monday, September 5, 2016 at 9:39am CDT

Tyler just told me, angrily, that what I was asking of him wasn't feasible. Totally surreal to see your words thrown back at you in a heated parenting moment. Of course, I saw his feasible and raised him an insolence. Checkmate, young son.

Sunday, September 4, 2016 at 7:09pm CDT

Enjoyed a wonderful dinner on the deck talking with my girls about "life". Out of nowhere, the conversation turned to the gendered nature of children's programming. I sat in stunned disbelief as the moment I longed for so many years ago when I sat captive to the likes of Max & Ruby, Caillou, and Barney unfolded before my eyes. First they tore into Dora and Diego, then Max and Ruby, and they were absolutely merciless with Caillou. Best. Night. Ever. #parentingredemption #wevecomefullcircle

Thursday, September 1, 2016 at 7:08am CDT

Happy Birthday to the most amazing woman I know! Your love, support, patience and wisdom have seen your children through life's trials and tribulations. Your example of faith, love of family, and valuing everyone--similar and different from you-- have served as a beautiful guide as we found our own way in this life. Your beautiful spirit and love of life is a gift to all those around you--your children, your grandchildren, friends, family. Enjoy your birthday, Mom. Love you!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 at 9:01pm CDT

Called to make a dinner reservation and, when it came time to give him my name, the guy laughed. Intrigued, I asked what was so funny. He responds with, "Is your name REALLY Kathy Castle?" Why, yes, good sir, it is indeed. "It just sounds like you made it up. You know, like a cartoon alter ego". Actually, no, I don't know. Do tell. You can imagine that this was a fascinating conversation.

Friday, August 26, 2016 at 8:22pm CDT

At the skating rink for Teen Night. I had planned to read in a corner but I forgot my books and ended up at a table in the middle of all the action. So far I've witnessed two break ups and been made privy to a planned coup of a 6th grade classroom somewhere in Lincoln.

Friday, August 26, 2016 at 4:12pm CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 9 new photos — with Jason Castle.

Happiest of birthdays to our Julia! You are a true joy and light. These last 14 years as your Mom have been amazing. It is a joy and a privilege to walk this path you, Jules. We love you always and forever!

Thursday, August 25, 2016 at 5:17pm CDT

Tyler put his football pads on. I walked by him and, overcome by the smell of sweaty football pads, I suggested we give him a shot or two of Febreeze before he heads off to practice. Tyler stops dead in his tracks, turns to me and retorts "I am NOT going to football practice smelling like a flower, Mom. We all stink. It's football." Well, I guess he told me what's up.

Saturday, August 20, 2016 at 8:29pm CDT

I'm spending my evening finagling Pandora's live stream feature to line up a live stream of Metallica's concert in Minneapolis tonight for Tyler. Just one of the many times I feel I I'm simultaneously embodying the best and worst mom ever.

Saturday, August 20, 2016 at 5:24pm CDT

Saturday night before classes begin, sitting on the deck, grilling out, adding readings to the syllabus I "completed" a month ago. So much for early prep. :-/

Wednesday, August 17, 2016 at 8:44am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 4 new photos.

First day 8th, 6th, and 4th grade! The kids reminded me multiple times this morning that this is my last year of ever having them all at one school. I swear, they get some sort of sick twisted pleasure out of seeing me tear up when they go off to school. Stinkers.

Friday, August 12, 2016 at 10:15pm CDT

Ava: "Mom?" Me: "Yes, honey." Ava: "Sometimes Tyler's really generous...and sometimes he's just a butthead". Me: "Huh. Yeah,I'd say that sums up 12 year old brothers pretty well. Can you think of a better word for it? Ava: "Better than butthead? No, I think that covers it." I love our little talks.

Thursday, August 11, 2016 at 6:48pm CDT

At the pool this afternoon, playing around with the kids. We're all laughing and having fun when, out of nowhere, Tyler looks at me and says "Mom, don't worry. When you're 80, I'll throw you across the pool without any problem". Well, son, I wasn't worried, but now perhaps I am a little bit...

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 at 9:21am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 3 new photos.

Happy Birthday to this one of a kind young lady! Her amazing sense of humor, kind and loving heart, and love for all things unique and different from herself bring joy to our lives every single day! We love you, Aves!

Monday, August 8, 2016 at 6:48pm CDT

Each year Jason and I attempt to perfect our back to school shopping experience. Each year we start out so hopeful, almost naive, with our spreadsheets and our tag-team plan of attack. Each year we give the kids explicit instructions for their part in the master plan. Each year we walk into the back to school aisle confident and ready to tame the beast. And...each year we under-estimate the palpable tension and aggravation emanating from each and every other back-to-school shopper. It's nearly visible, this dark cloud of anger, impatience, and resentment. You can almost feel it overwhelm you. It somehow overtakes you and scrambles all your well-laid plans. And so it is that this year, like every other year, we returned home, broken and beaten, with nearly 50 more pens and markers than we needed and at least one random protractor. Stupid back-to-school.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 9:35am CDT

That's it. I'm completely done with voice to text. Tried to send a text to a friend that said "I appreciated what the girls did". Instead it came up with "I want the girls dead". Seems like there's some room there for trouble.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 11:42pm CDT

Tonight, when I picked Ty up from baseball practice, I watched as he took several long drinks from a hose at the baseball field. When he got in the car and I commented on his decision to drink hose water he responds with "Mom. Just let me be an athlete." Here I thought being an athlete was about blood, sweat, and tears. Struggle. Sacrifice. Commitment. Humility. Passion. Team. Nope. It's about garden hoses.

Monday, July 18, 2016 at 12:58pm CDT

Tonight we have our first free weeknight since the start of the summer. No baseball, no softball, no golf, no swimming, no volunteer obligations, no need to run anyone anywhere. Just home. Together. <3

<3 listened="" listening="" literature="" little="" live="" lives.="" lives="" ll="" location="" lofty="" lone="" long="" longed="" longer="" look="" looked="" looking="" looks="" lot="" loud="" love="" loves="" loving="" lt="" lucas="" luck...most="" lucky="" lunch.="" lunch="" luther="" m="" made="" maisano="" majestic="" make="" making="" mama="" man--i="" man="" manage="" many="" marked="" markers="" maroon="" marriott="" martha="" martin="" mary="" mass.="" mass="" master="" math="" matson="" matter="" max="" maybe="" mcbride="" mccabe="" me:="" me="" meal="" mean="" meaning.="" means="" media="" memorable="" memories="" memory.="" mendment="" merciless="" message="" metallica="" michelle="" middle="" midnight="" midst="" might="" mike="" mind="" minds="" mine...="" mine="" minecraft="" mini="" minneapolis="" minutes="" mis-handled="" miss="" mockingjay="" model="" mom.="" mom="" moment.="" moment="" moments="" monday="" monica="" monster="" month="" months="" moon="" more.="" more:="" more="" morgan="" moriarty="" morning="" most="" mother-daughter="" motivated="" motorcycle="" motorcyclists="" mountain="" mouth="" move="" movie...="" movie="" moving="" mt="" much="" multiple="" museum="" music.="" muttering="" my="" myself="" mystery="" n="" naive="" name="" narratives="" nation--people="" nation.="" nation="" national="" nationwide.="" nature="" nbc="" nca="" near="" nearly="" nebraska-lincoln="" nebraska.="" need--this="" need="" needed="" needles="" needless="" needs="" negative="" neigh="" neither="" nervous="" never="" new="" newly="" newman="" news="" next="" nice="" nieces="" night.="" night="" nightly="" nights="" no="" nominated="" none="" nope.="" nor="" not.="" not="" note="" notes.="" nothing.="" november="" now--we="" now.="" now="" nowhere="" nudge="" o-line--but="" obama.="" obligations="" observation.="" occurring="" october="" oday="" odd="" oddly="" of.="" of="" off="" offer="" often="" old.="" old="" om.="" om="" ometimes="" on.="" on="" one-on-one="" one="" only="" onto="" open="" openly="" opportunity="" opposing="" opposition="" oppression.="" or="" orchestra="" orders="" orientation="" original="" osclg.="" other.="" other="" othering="" others.="" others="" our="" ours="" out.="" out="" outcome="" over-collaboration.="" over="" overcome="" overhear="" overlooked="" overtakes="" overtly="" overwhelm="" own="" ownership.="" packet="" pads="" pain="" painful="" palmer-wackerly="" palpable="" pandora="" panning.="" panning="" papa...="" paradise.="" parent.="" parenting="" parentingredemption="" parents="" park--this="" park.="" park="" parker---7="" part="" participate="" particular="" particularly="" partner="" partners="" party.="" passing="" passion.="" passion="" passionate="" passionately="" past="" path="" patience="" patti="" patty="" peaceful="" pens="" people--and="" people="" perfect="" perfectly.="" performance...="" perhaps="" person--someone="" person="" personal="" perspective="" perspectives="" pet.="" pet="" peters="" pets="" philadelphia--great="" philadelphia="" philly="" photo.="" photo="" photos.="" photos="" physical="" physicist="" picked="" picture.="" picture="" pictures="" pink="" pius="" place="" plachy="" plagiarism="" plan.="" plan="" planned="" plans.="" play="" playground="" playing="" plays="" please-no="" please="" pleasure="" ploy="" pm="" pocket="" poignant="" point="" pointing="" political="" politics.="" pool="" poor="" pop="" positions="" positive="" post.="" post="" posting="" potential="" power="" powerful="" practice.="" practice="" prairie="" preferences="" prejudice="" prejudicial="" prep.="" preparing="" presence="" presentation="" presentations="" presidency="" president.="" president="" presidents.="" pressure="" pretty="" pretzels="" primarily="" privacy="" privilege="" privy="" problem.="" problem="" problems="" proceeds="" process.="" processes="" productive="" productively="" profile="" program="" programming.="" project="" protect="" protest.="" protractor.="" providers.="" pub.="" public="" pull="" pulled="" punch="" pursue="" pushed="" put="" puts="" python="" quality="" question="" questions="" quite="" quote="" racially="" racism="" racist.="" racist="" rademacher="" raised="" random="" re-connecting="" re-phrasing="" re="" read.="" read="" reader.="" readily="" reading="" readings="" ready="" real="" realize="" realized="" realizing="" really="" reason="" reassuring.="" receive="" received="" recent="" recently="" recipes.="" recognize="" recognizing="" recovering="" red="" reeling="" refers="" reflect="" reflects="" regional="" regular="" rejecting="" rejection="" rejuvenates="" relate="" relationships="" relishes="" relying="" remember="" remembered="" reminded="" rep:="" repeal="" repeat="" repeatedly="" reported="" represented="" reptile="" requiring="" research="" resentment.="" reservation="" resist="" respect="" respond="" responds="" response="" responsibility="" responsible="" restaurant="" retention="" retorts="" returned="" reviewing="" rhetoric="" rice="" rich--she="" ridiculous="" right="" rights="" rink="" risen="" rish="" ristorante="" rnc="" road="" robust="" rock="" rockin="" rocky="" rodent.="" rodent="" role="" roles="" rolls="" room="" rooted="" rough="" ruby="" rule="" rumors="" run="" running="" rushmore="" s="" sack="" sacrifice.="" sacrificed="" sacrificing="" sad="" safe.="" safe="" safety="" said="" same="" sarcastically="" sat="" saturday="" sauntering="" saw="" say="" saying:="" saying="" says--="" says="" school.="" school="" scrambles="" scratches="" searching="" season--and="" season="" second="" seconds="" section="" see="" seeing="" seek="" seem.="" seems="" seen="" seething="" selection...="" selection="" self-evident.="" selfie.="" semi-witnessed="" send="" sending="" sense-making="" sense="" separate="" september="" seriously="" served="" services="" serving="" set--well="" set="" several="" sexism="" sexualizes="" shannon="" share="" shared="" sharing="" shaving="" she="" sheep-="" shift="" shopper.="" shopping="" short="" shot="" should="" showed="" shows.="" shy="" siblings="" sick="" side.="" sighs="" significance="" simultaneously="" since="" singing="" single="" sir="" sister="" sit="" sitting="" situation.="" situation="" skate="" skating="" skip.="" smell="" smelling="" smile="" snake.="" snake="" snuggling="" so="" social="" societal="" society="" soft="" softball="" solution="" solves="" some="" somehow="" someone="" something="" sometime="" sometimes="" somewhere="" son.="" son="" songs--and="" songs="" sort="" sorts="" soul.="" soul="" souls="" sounds="" sourcecredibilityinthedigitalage="" south="" sox="" spare="" special="" speech="" spending="" spike="" spin="" spirit="" spoiling="" spoken.="" spouts="" spreadsheets="" squeeze="" st="" stacie="" stage="" stand="" standing="" star="" stare="" start.="" start="" started="" state="" states="" status="" steal="" step="" steps--thanks="" steps="" steve="" stevenaitchison="" stigmatization="" still="" stilll="" stink.="" stinkers.="" stomach="" stop="" stopped="" stops="" stored="" stories="" story="" streak...="" stream="" stress="" stressful="" strike="" strikes="" strive="" strongly="" struggle.="" student="" students.="" students="" studies="" study.="" study="" stuff="" stunned="" stupid="" sturgis...or="" substance="" such="" sudden="" suffer="" suffice="" suggested="" summer--2="" summer...="" summer.="" summer="" sums="" sunday="" sundays="" super="" support--and="" support="" supported="" supporters="" supportive="" sure="" surface.="" surface="" surreal="" swans="" swear="" sweat="" sweaty="" sweeter="" swimming="" syllabus="" symphony="" system="" t="" table="" tackle="" tag-team="" tailgate="" take="" taken="" taking="" talent="" talk="" talking="" talks.="" tame="" teaching="" team.="" team="" tear="" tears...="" tears.="" technology="" teen="" teenager="" tell.="" tell="" tense="" tension="" tensions="" terms="" terrifying.="" text.="" text="" than="" thank="" thankful="" thankfully="" thanks="" that.="" that="" the="" their="" them="" then="" there="" these="" they="" thin="" thing="" things.="" things="" think="" thinking="" third="" this.="" this="" thoroughly="" those.="" those="" though="" thought="" thousand="" through="" throughout="" throw="" thrown="" thunder="" thursday="" ties="" timber="" time...="" time.="" time="" timeline.="" times="" tiniest="" tired="" tirelessly="" to="" today--still="" today....we="" today.="" today="" together---can="" together--and="" together--disagreeing="" together.="" together="" told="" tom="" tomorrow="" toni="" tonight.="" tonight="" too.="" too="" took="" tootsie="" tore="" totally="" touches="" tough="" tour="" toward="" tracks="" tradition.="" tram="" transfer="" transform="" transition="" treating="" tree="" trending="" trials="" tribulations.="" tribute="" trick="" tried="" trinity="" trip.="" trip="" triumph="" trouble.="" troubling="" true="" truly="" trump="" truths="" try="" trying="" tuck="" tuesday="" turn="" turned="" turning="" turns="" twice="" twisted="" twitter.="" two="" ty="" tyler.="" tyler="" typing="" uh.="" ultimate="" uncritically="" undefeated="" under-appreciated.="" under-estimate="" unfair="" unfold="" unfolded="" unfortunately="" unhealthy="" unique="" united="" universities.="" university="" unl.edu="" unl="" until="" unwelcome="" up.="" up="" updated="" upon="" upright="" ups="" upworthy="" us....="" us...="" us.="" us="" using="" usually="" v="" valid="" valuable="" value="" valuing="" van="" vary="" ve="" very="" veterans="" vg="" vice="" video.="" video="" videos="" views="" vilifying="" vincenzo="" violence.="" violence="" virginia="" visceral="" visible="" visiting="" voice="" volunteer="" voorhees="" vote.="" vote="" vox.="" wackernagel="" wait="" waiting="" walk="" walked="" want="" wanted="" warner="" was="" wasn="" watch="" watched="" watching="" water="" way--than="" way="" ways="" we="" wedding="" wednesday="" week="" weekend--got="" weekend="" weeknight="" weeks="" wegner="" weight.="" welcomed="" well-deserved="" well-laid="" well...="" well.="" well="" went="" were="" weren="" west...="" western="" wevecomefullcircle="" what="" when="" where="" which="" while="" white="" whitesnake="" who="" whole="" why="" will="" willing="" wind="" winding="" wisdom="" wish="" with="" within="" without="" witness="" witnessed="" woah.="" woke="" wolf="" wolves.="" wolves="" woman="" women="" wonder="" wonderful="" word="" words="" wordsmatter="" work.="" work="" working="" world="" worried="" worry.="" worse="" worst="" would="" wrestling="" writing="" wrong.="" wrote="" wyvill="" x="" yeah.="" yeah="" year="" years...="" years="" yes="" yet="" yikes="" you--="" you--your="" you.="" you="" young="" your="" yourself="" zone="" zoo="">Friday, July 15, 2016 at 7:16am CDT Kathy Ford Castle shared a memory. This is easily the most emotional memory FB has shared with me. It's hard to believe this was 2 summers ago. Words cannot express how grateful we are for Megan's continued recovery and for the incredible love and support our family experienced in so many ways during such a difficult time. My thoughts and prayers continue for all those families struggling with illness, particularly pediatric cancer.

<3 listened="" listening="" literature="" little="" live="" lives.="" lives="" ll="" location="" lofty="" lone="" long="" longed="" longer="" look="" looked="" looking="" looks="" lot="" loud="" love="" loves="" loving="" lt="" lucas="" luck...most="" lucky="" lunch.="" lunch="" luther="" m="" made="" maisano="" majestic="" make="" making="" mama="" man--i="" man="" manage="" many="" marked="" markers="" maroon="" marriott="" martha="" martin="" mary="" mass.="" mass="" master="" math="" matson="" matter="" max="" maybe="" mcbride="" mccabe="" me:="" me="" meal="" mean="" meaning.="" means="" media="" memorable="" memories="" memory.="" mendment="" merciless="" message="" metallica="" michelle="" middle="" midnight="" midst="" might="" mike="" mind="" minds="" mine...="" mine="" minecraft="" mini="" minneapolis="" minutes="" mis-handled="" miss="" mockingjay="" model="" mom.="" mom="" moment.="" moment="" moments="" monday="" monica="" monster="" month="" months="" moon="" more.="" more:="" more="" morgan="" moriarty="" morning="" most="" mother-daughter="" motivated="" motorcycle="" motorcyclists="" mountain="" mouth="" move="" movie...="" movie="" moving="" mt="" much="" multiple="" museum="" music.="" muttering="" my="" myself="" mystery="" n="" naive="" name="" narratives="" nation--people="" nation.="" nation="" national="" nationwide.="" nature="" nbc="" nca="" near="" nearly="" nebraska-lincoln="" nebraska.="" need--this="" need="" needed="" needles="" needless="" needs="" negative="" neigh="" neither="" nervous="" never="" new="" newly="" newman="" news="" next="" nice="" nieces="" night.="" night="" nightly="" nights="" no="" nominated="" none="" nope.="" nor="" not.="" not="" note="" notes.="" nothing.="" november="" now--we="" now.="" now="" nowhere="" nudge="" o-line--but="" obama.="" obligations="" observation.="" occurring="" october="" oday="" odd="" oddly="" of.="" of="" off="" offer="" often="" old.="" old="" om.="" om="" ometimes="" on.="" on="" one-on-one="" one="" only="" onto="" open="" openly="" opportunity="" opposing="" opposition="" oppression.="" or="" orchestra="" orders="" orientation="" original="" osclg.="" other.="" other="" othering="" others.="" others="" our="" ours="" out.="" out="" outcome="" over-collaboration.="" over="" overcome="" overhear="" overlooked="" overtakes="" overtly="" overwhelm="" own="" ownership.="" packet="" pads="" pain="" painful="" palmer-wackerly="" palpable="" pandora="" panning.="" panning="" papa...="" paradise.="" parent.="" parenting="" parentingredemption="" parents="" park--this="" park.="" park="" parker---7="" part="" participate="" particular="" particularly="" partner="" partners="" party.="" passing="" passion.="" passion="" passionate="" passionately="" past="" path="" patience="" patti="" patty="" peaceful="" pens="" people--and="" people="" perfect="" perfectly.="" performance...="" perhaps="" person--someone="" person="" personal="" perspective="" perspectives="" pet.="" pet="" peters="" pets="" philadelphia--great="" philadelphia="" philly="" photo.="" photo="" photos.="" photos="" physical="" physicist="" picked="" picture.="" picture="" pictures="" pink="" pius="" place="" plachy="" plagiarism="" plan.="" plan="" planned="" plans.="" play="" playground="" playing="" plays="" please-no="" please="" pleasure="" ploy="" pm="" pocket="" poignant="" point="" pointing="" political="" politics.="" pool="" poor="" pop="" positions="" positive="" post.="" post="" posting="" potential="" power="" powerful="" practice.="" practice="" prairie="" preferences="" prejudice="" prejudicial="" prep.="" preparing="" presence="" presentation="" presentations="" presidency="" president.="" president="" presidents.="" pressure="" pretty="" pretzels="" primarily="" privacy="" privilege="" privy="" problem.="" problem="" problems="" proceeds="" process.="" processes="" productive="" productively="" profile="" program="" programming.="" project="" protect="" protest.="" protractor.="" providers.="" pub.="" public="" pull="" pulled="" punch="" pursue="" pushed="" put="" puts="" python="" quality="" question="" questions="" quite="" quote="" racially="" racism="" racist.="" racist="" rademacher="" raised="" random="" re-connecting="" re-phrasing="" re="" read.="" read="" reader.="" readily="" reading="" readings="" ready="" real="" realize="" realized="" realizing="" really="" reason="" reassuring.="" receive="" received="" recent="" recently="" recipes.="" recognize="" recognizing="" recovering="" red="" reeling="" refers="" reflect="" reflects="" regional="" regular="" rejecting="" rejection="" rejuvenates="" relate="" relationships="" relishes="" relying="" remember="" remembered="" reminded="" rep:="" repeal="" repeat="" repeatedly="" reported="" represented="" reptile="" requiring="" research="" resentment.="" reservation="" resist="" respect="" respond="" responds="" response="" responsibility="" responsible="" restaurant="" retention="" retorts="" returned="" reviewing="" rhetoric="" rice="" rich--she="" ridiculous="" right="" rights="" rink="" risen="" rish="" ristorante="" rnc="" road="" robust="" rock="" rockin="" rocky="" rodent.="" rodent="" role="" roles="" rolls="" room="" rooted="" rough="" ruby="" rule="" rumors="" run="" running="" rushmore="" s="" sack="" sacrifice.="" sacrificed="" sacrificing="" sad="" safe.="" safe="" safety="" said="" same="" sarcastically="" sat="" saturday="" sauntering="" saw="" say="" saying:="" saying="" says--="" says="" school.="" school="" scrambles="" scratches="" searching="" season--and="" season="" second="" seconds="" section="" see="" seeing="" seek="" seem.="" seems="" seen="" seething="" selection...="" selection="" self-evident.="" selfie.="" semi-witnessed="" send="" sending="" sense-making="" sense="" separate="" september="" seriously="" served="" services="" serving="" set--well="" set="" several="" sexism="" sexualizes="" shannon="" share="" shared="" sharing="" shaving="" she="" sheep-="" shift="" shopper.="" shopping="" short="" shot="" should="" showed="" shows.="" shy="" siblings="" sick="" side.="" sighs="" significance="" simultaneously="" since="" singing="" single="" sir="" sister="" sit="" sitting="" situation.="" situation="" skate="" skating="" skip.="" smell="" smelling="" smile="" snake.="" snake="" snuggling="" so="" social="" societal="" society="" soft="" softball="" solution="" solves="" some="" somehow="" someone="" something="" sometime="" sometimes="" somewhere="" son.="" son="" songs--and="" songs="" sort="" sorts="" soul.="" soul="" souls="" sounds="" sourcecredibilityinthedigitalage="" south="" sox="" spare="" special="" speech="" spending="" spike="" spin="" spirit="" spoiling="" spoken.="" spouts="" spreadsheets="" squeeze="" st="" stacie="" stage="" stand="" standing="" star="" stare="" start.="" start="" started="" state="" states="" status="" steal="" step="" steps--thanks="" steps="" steve="" stevenaitchison="" stigmatization="" still="" stilll="" stink.="" stinkers.="" stomach="" stop="" stopped="" stops="" stored="" stories="" story="" streak...="" stream="" stress="" stressful="" strike="" strikes="" strive="" strongly="" struggle.="" student="" students.="" students="" studies="" study.="" study="" stuff="" stunned="" stupid="" sturgis...or="" substance="" such="" sudden="" suffer="" suffice="" suggested="" summer--2="" summer...="" summer.="" summer="" sums="" sunday="" sundays="" super="" support--and="" support="" supported="" supporters="" supportive="" sure="" surface.="" surface="" surreal="" swans="" swear="" sweat="" sweaty="" sweeter="" swimming="" syllabus="" symphony="" system="" t="" table="" tackle="" tag-team="" tailgate="" take="" taken="" taking="" talent="" talk="" talking="" talks.="" tame="" teaching="" team.="" team="" tear="" tears...="" tears.="" technology="" teen="" teenager="" tell.="" tell="" tense="" tension="" tensions="" terms="" terrifying.="" text.="" text="" than="" thank="" thankful="" thankfully="" thanks="" that.="" that="" the="" their="" them="" then="" there="" these="" they="" thin="" thing="" things.="" things="" think="" thinking="" third="" this.="" this="" thoroughly="" those.="" those="" though="" thought="" thousand="" through="" throughout="" throw="" thrown="" thunder="" thursday="" ties="" timber="" time...="" time.="" time="" timeline.="" times="" tiniest="" tired="" tirelessly="" to="" today--still="" today....we="" today.="" today="" together---can="" together--and="" together--disagreeing="" together.="" together="" told="" tom="" tomorrow="" toni="" tonight.="" tonight="" too.="" too="" took="" tootsie="" tore="" totally="" touches="" tough="" tour="" toward="" tracks="" tradition.="" tram="" transfer="" transform="" transition="" treating="" tree="" trending="" trials="" tribulations.="" tribute="" trick="" tried="" trinity="" trip.="" trip="" triumph="" trouble.="" troubling="" true="" truly="" trump="" truths="" try="" trying="" tuck="" tuesday="" turn="" turned="" turning="" turns="" twice="" twisted="" twitter.="" two="" ty="" tyler.="" tyler="" typing="" uh.="" ultimate="" uncritically="" undefeated="" under-appreciated.="" under-estimate="" unfair="" unfold="" unfolded="" unfortunately="" unhealthy="" unique="" united="" universities.="" university="" unl.edu="" unl="" until="" unwelcome="" up.="" up="" updated="" upon="" upright="" ups="" upworthy="" us....="" us...="" us.="" us="" using="" usually="" v="" valid="" valuable="" value="" valuing="" van="" vary="" ve="" very="" veterans="" vg="" vice="" video.="" video="" videos="" views="" vilifying="" vincenzo="" violence.="" violence="" virginia="" visceral="" visible="" visiting="" voice="" volunteer="" voorhees="" vote.="" vote="" vox.="" wackernagel="" wait="" waiting="" walk="" walked="" want="" wanted="" warner="" was="" wasn="" watch="" watched="" watching="" water="" way--than="" way="" ways="" we="" wedding="" wednesday="" week="" weekend--got="" weekend="" weeknight="" weeks="" wegner="" weight.="" welcomed="" well-deserved="" well-laid="" well...="" well.="" well="" went="" were="" weren="" west...="" western="" wevecomefullcircle="" what="" when="" where="" which="" while="" white="" whitesnake="" who="" whole="" why="" will="" willing="" wind="" winding="" wisdom="" wish="" with="" within="" without="" witness="" witnessed="" woah.="" woke="" wolf="" wolves.="" wolves="" woman="" women="" wonder="" wonderful="" word="" words="" wordsmatter="" work.="" work="" working="" world="" worried="" worry.="" worse="" worst="" would="" wrestling="" writing="" wrong.="" wrote="" wyvill="" x="" yeah.="" yeah="" year="" years...="" years="" yes="" yet="" yikes="" you--="" you--your="" you.="" you="" young="" your="" yourself="" zone="" zoo="">Thursday, July 14, 2016 at 9:06pm CDT Today I committed the first of what I can only assume will be many teen-parent faux pas when I inadvertently sent a picture of Julia with a Pokemon on her head to a group of her friends. Lucky for me, I've amassed a good deal of experience in framing things. What was once a mistake is now a highly complex, well-thought out lesson on the dangers of irresponsible use of social media. Plus, I caught the stupid Pokemon.

<3 listened="" listening="" literature="" little="" live="" lives.="" lives="" ll="" location="" lofty="" lone="" long="" longed="" longer="" look="" looked="" looking="" looks="" lot="" loud="" love="" loves="" loving="" lt="" lucas="" luck...most="" lucky="" lunch.="" lunch="" luther="" m="" made="" maisano="" majestic="" make="" making="" mama="" man--i="" man="" manage="" many="" marked="" markers="" maroon="" marriott="" martha="" martin="" mary="" mass.="" mass="" master="" math="" matson="" matter="" max="" maybe="" mcbride="" mccabe="" me:="" me="" meal="" mean="" meaning.="" means="" media="" memorable="" memories="" memory.="" mendment="" merciless="" message="" metallica="" michelle="" middle="" midnight="" midst="" might="" mike="" mind="" minds="" mine...="" mine="" minecraft="" mini="" minneapolis="" minutes="" mis-handled="" miss="" mockingjay="" model="" mom.="" mom="" moment.="" moment="" moments="" monday="" monica="" monster="" month="" months="" moon="" more.="" more:="" more="" morgan="" moriarty="" morning="" most="" mother-daughter="" motivated="" motorcycle="" motorcyclists="" mountain="" mouth="" move="" movie...="" movie="" moving="" mt="" much="" multiple="" museum="" music.="" muttering="" my="" myself="" mystery="" n="" naive="" name="" narratives="" nation--people="" nation.="" nation="" national="" nationwide.="" nature="" nbc="" nca="" near="" nearly="" nebraska-lincoln="" nebraska.="" need--this="" need="" needed="" needles="" needless="" needs="" negative="" neigh="" neither="" nervous="" never="" new="" newly="" newman="" news="" next="" nice="" nieces="" night.="" night="" nightly="" nights="" no="" nominated="" none="" nope.="" nor="" not.="" not="" note="" notes.="" nothing.="" november="" now--we="" now.="" now="" nowhere="" nudge="" o-line--but="" obama.="" obligations="" observation.="" occurring="" october="" oday="" odd="" oddly="" of.="" of="" off="" offer="" often="" old.="" old="" om.="" om="" ometimes="" on.="" on="" one-on-one="" one="" only="" onto="" open="" openly="" opportunity="" opposing="" opposition="" oppression.="" or="" orchestra="" orders="" orientation="" original="" osclg.="" other.="" other="" othering="" others.="" others="" our="" ours="" out.="" out="" outcome="" over-collaboration.="" over="" overcome="" overhear="" overlooked="" overtakes="" overtly="" overwhelm="" own="" ownership.="" packet="" pads="" pain="" painful="" palmer-wackerly="" palpable="" pandora="" panning.="" panning="" papa...="" paradise.="" parent.="" parenting="" parentingredemption="" parents="" park--this="" park.="" park="" parker---7="" part="" participate="" particular="" particularly="" partner="" partners="" party.="" passing="" passion.="" passion="" passionate="" passionately="" past="" path="" patience="" patti="" patty="" peaceful="" pens="" people--and="" people="" perfect="" perfectly.="" performance...="" perhaps="" person--someone="" person="" personal="" perspective="" perspectives="" pet.="" pet="" peters="" pets="" philadelphia--great="" philadelphia="" philly="" photo.="" photo="" photos.="" photos="" physical="" physicist="" picked="" picture.="" picture="" pictures="" pink="" pius="" place="" plachy="" plagiarism="" plan.="" plan="" planned="" plans.="" play="" playground="" playing="" plays="" please-no="" please="" pleasure="" ploy="" pm="" pocket="" poignant="" point="" pointing="" political="" politics.="" pool="" poor="" pop="" positions="" positive="" post.="" post="" posting="" potential="" power="" powerful="" practice.="" practice="" prairie="" preferences="" prejudice="" prejudicial="" prep.="" preparing="" presence="" presentation="" presentations="" presidency="" president.="" president="" presidents.="" pressure="" pretty="" pretzels="" primarily="" privacy="" privilege="" privy="" problem.="" problem="" problems="" proceeds="" process.="" processes="" productive="" productively="" profile="" program="" programming.="" project="" protect="" protest.="" protractor.="" providers.="" pub.="" public="" pull="" pulled="" punch="" pursue="" pushed="" put="" puts="" python="" quality="" question="" questions="" quite="" quote="" racially="" racism="" racist.="" racist="" rademacher="" raised="" random="" re-connecting="" re-phrasing="" re="" read.="" read="" reader.="" readily="" reading="" readings="" ready="" real="" realize="" realized="" realizing="" really="" reason="" reassuring.="" receive="" received="" recent="" recently="" recipes.="" recognize="" recognizing="" recovering="" red="" reeling="" refers="" reflect="" reflects="" regional="" regular="" rejecting="" rejection="" rejuvenates="" relate="" relationships="" relishes="" relying="" remember="" remembered="" reminded="" rep:="" repeal="" repeat="" repeatedly="" reported="" represented="" reptile="" requiring="" research="" resentment.="" reservation="" resist="" respect="" respond="" responds="" response="" responsibility="" responsible="" restaurant="" retention="" retorts="" returned="" reviewing="" rhetoric="" rice="" rich--she="" ridiculous="" right="" rights="" rink="" risen="" rish="" ristorante="" rnc="" road="" robust="" rock="" rockin="" rocky="" rodent.="" rodent="" role="" roles="" rolls="" room="" rooted="" rough="" ruby="" rule="" rumors="" run="" running="" rushmore="" s="" sack="" sacrifice.="" sacrificed="" sacrificing="" sad="" safe.="" safe="" safety="" said="" same="" sarcastically="" sat="" saturday="" sauntering="" saw="" say="" saying:="" saying="" says--="" says="" school.="" school="" scrambles="" scratches="" searching="" season--and="" season="" second="" seconds="" section="" see="" seeing="" seek="" seem.="" seems="" seen="" seething="" selection...="" selection="" self-evident.="" selfie.="" semi-witnessed="" send="" sending="" sense-making="" sense="" separate="" september="" seriously="" served="" services="" serving="" set--well="" set="" several="" sexism="" sexualizes="" shannon="" share="" shared="" sharing="" shaving="" she="" sheep-="" shift="" shopper.="" shopping="" short="" shot="" should="" showed="" shows.="" shy="" siblings="" sick="" side.="" sighs="" significance="" simultaneously="" since="" singing="" single="" sir="" sister="" sit="" sitting="" situation.="" situation="" skate="" skating="" skip.="" smell="" smelling="" smile="" snake.="" snake="" snuggling="" so="" social="" societal="" society="" soft="" softball="" solution="" solves="" some="" somehow="" someone="" something="" sometime="" sometimes="" somewhere="" son.="" son="" songs--and="" songs="" sort="" sorts="" soul.="" soul="" souls="" sounds="" sourcecredibilityinthedigitalage="" south="" sox="" spare="" special="" speech="" spending="" spike="" spin="" spirit="" spoiling="" spoken.="" spouts="" spreadsheets="" squeeze="" st="" stacie="" stage="" stand="" standing="" star="" stare="" start.="" start="" started="" state="" states="" status="" steal="" step="" steps--thanks="" steps="" steve="" stevenaitchison="" stigmatization="" still="" stilll="" stink.="" stinkers.="" stomach="" stop="" stopped="" stops="" stored="" stories="" story="" streak...="" stream="" stress="" stressful="" strike="" strikes="" strive="" strongly="" struggle.="" student="" students.="" students="" studies="" study.="" study="" stuff="" stunned="" stupid="" sturgis...or="" substance="" such="" sudden="" suffer="" suffice="" suggested="" summer--2="" summer...="" summer.="" summer="" sums="" sunday="" sundays="" super="" support--and="" support="" supported="" supporters="" supportive="" sure="" surface.="" surface="" surreal="" swans="" swear="" sweat="" sweaty="" sweeter="" swimming="" syllabus="" symphony="" system="" t="" table="" tackle="" tag-team="" tailgate="" take="" taken="" taking="" talent="" talk="" talking="" talks.="" tame="" teaching="" team.="" team="" tear="" tears...="" tears.="" technology="" teen="" teenager="" tell.="" tell="" tense="" tension="" tensions="" terms="" terrifying.="" text.="" text="" than="" thank="" thankful="" thankfully="" thanks="" that.="" that="" the="" their="" them="" then="" there="" these="" they="" thin="" thing="" things.="" things="" think="" thinking="" third="" this.="" this="" thoroughly="" those.="" those="" though="" thought="" thousand="" through="" throughout="" throw="" thrown="" thunder="" thursday="" ties="" timber="" time...="" time.="" time="" timeline.="" times="" tiniest="" tired="" tirelessly="" to="" today--still="" today....we="" today.="" today="" together---can="" together--and="" together--disagreeing="" together.="" together="" told="" tom="" tomorrow="" toni="" tonight.="" tonight="" too.="" too="" took="" tootsie="" tore="" totally="" touches="" tough="" tour="" toward="" tracks="" tradition.="" tram="" transfer="" transform="" transition="" treating="" tree="" trending="" trials="" tribulations.="" tribute="" trick="" tried="" trinity="" trip.="" trip="" triumph="" trouble.="" troubling="" true="" truly="" trump="" truths="" try="" trying="" tuck="" tuesday="" turn="" turned="" turning="" turns="" twice="" twisted="" twitter.="" two="" ty="" tyler.="" tyler="" typing="" uh.="" ultimate="" uncritically="" undefeated="" under-appreciated.="" under-estimate="" unfair="" unfold="" unfolded="" unfortunately="" unhealthy="" unique="" united="" universities.="" university="" unl.edu="" unl="" until="" unwelcome="" up.="" up="" updated="" upon="" upright="" ups="" upworthy="" us....="" us...="" us.="" us="" using="" usually="" v="" valid="" valuable="" value="" valuing="" van="" vary="" ve="" very="" veterans="" vg="" vice="" video.="" video="" videos="" views="" vilifying="" vincenzo="" violence.="" violence="" virginia="" visceral="" visible="" visiting="" voice="" volunteer="" voorhees="" vote.="" vote="" vox.="" wackernagel="" wait="" waiting="" walk="" walked="" want="" wanted="" warner="" was="" wasn="" watch="" watched="" watching="" water="" way--than="" way="" ways="" we="" wedding="" wednesday="" week="" weekend--got="" weekend="" weeknight="" weeks="" wegner="" weight.="" welcomed="" well-deserved="" well-laid="" well...="" well.="" well="" went="" were="" weren="" west...="" western="" wevecomefullcircle="" what="" when="" where="" which="" while="" white="" whitesnake="" who="" whole="" why="" will="" willing="" wind="" winding="" wisdom="" wish="" with="" within="" without="" witness="" witnessed="" woah.="" woke="" wolf="" wolves.="" wolves="" woman="" women="" wonder="" wonderful="" word="" words="" wordsmatter="" work.="" work="" working="" world="" worried="" worry.="" worse="" worst="" would="" wrestling="" writing="" wrong.="" wrote="" wyvill="" x="" yeah.="" yeah="" year="" years...="" years="" yes="" yet="" yikes="" you--="" you--your="" you.="" you="" young="" your="" yourself="" zone="" zoo=""> Thursday, July 14, 2016 at 5:46pm CDT Listening to C.S. Lewis' The Abolition of Man. I often forget how much I love audiobooks.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016 at 9:14am CDT

Kathy Ford Castle added 6 new photos.

Happy birthday to the best son a mom could ask for! Life is never boring with you! Hope you have a wonderful day Ty!

Monday, July 11, 2016 at 9:47am CDT

The second half of the summer can only mean one thing--Doctorpalooza 2016! This year's event promises to be exciting as ever--with a line up that will be *especially* thorough--including the always exciting colonoscopy. Should be a banner year.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 5:23pm CDT

Me to Tyler "Put that sunscreen on or I will embarrass the living crap out of you!" And that right there is a sure indication that we have entered the Dog Days of summer.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016 at 9:11pm CDT

I tried to do a cartwheel today. It ended about as you would expect it to end--me in a crumpled mess on the floor. Just to be sure, and because I am apparently a glutton for punishment, I tried again. Same mess. Same floor. I'm afraid that memories of my cartwheeling days will have to suffice.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016 at 10:38am CDT

One of the things I love most about parenting are the fascinating conversations I get to have with my kids as they grow. Just in the past week, I had an intriguing conversation with each of them. Julia and I had an in depth discussion about human dignity and how difficult it is for people to respect it despite its simplicity as a human right. Tyler and I had an in depth conversation about politics. It was so interesting to hear his perspective, listen to the kinds of questions he was asking, watch him carefully consider what I was saying. Ava and I had a chance to talk about diversity and why so many people shy away from others who are different from them rather than trying to learn and grow from our differences. What a joy it is to be Mom to these amazing kids!!

Thursday, June 16, 2016 at 9:38am CDT

Got to bed last night after a late night at the ballpark watching Ty play baseball. Got up this morning and dropped him off at basketball camp and then stopped by and picked up 40 medium sized crickets that I covered in calcium powder to feed Daniel, his gecko and Bob his frog. Got some tips on how to help his gecko shed his skin and set things up to finish that. Ahhh...boys.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016 at 8:21am CDT

Last night at Ava's softball game I sat in the stands and watched as, out of nowhere, a coach from the opposing team attempted to pick a fist fight and nearly hit one of the coaches for Ava's team. It was so bad that Jason had to physically step in between the two, putting himself in danger, to prevent it from escalating to violence. This was completely unprovoked, coming after one of our coaches asked the umpire for the count on our batter. These 9 year old girls not only had to witness a terrible incident in which their coaches/dads were threatened with physical violence, they had to listen to this coach swear and belittle the coaches from the dugout throughout the game. Jason has been a volunteer coach for years, our kids have played ball in several different leagues and we've never witnessed anything so awful.

Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 7:03pm CDT

So, apparently, my children have yet to fully grasp Newton's 3rd Law of Motion: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction as evidenced by the full on BBQ sauce shower I received this evening at dinner courtesy of Tyler. While vigorously shaking the bottle during a rather in depth conversation we were having, he realized, far too late mind you, that the cap was not properly secured. I however, realized this almost immediately, as mid-sentence, I was covered from head to foot with smokey flavored goodness. 2 showers later, I still smell like liquid smoke.

Friday, May 27, 2016 at 4:38pm CDT

First 48 hours of summer finds us swimming, playing baseball, practicing golf, riding bikes, and playing frisbee at the park despite a slight weather setback consisting of severe storms/flash flooding. We're off and running!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 at 9:32am CDT

Ava: "Mom, I think I'm going to hire 2 body guards tomorrow". Me: "Why on earth would you need 2 body guards?" Ava: "I don't NEED them. The boys at school need something to do other than bother me, so I'm gonna hire them to guard me. It will keep them so busy they won't have time to bother me" She's a wise one, that girl.

Saturday, April 2, 2016 at 7:23pm CDT

After confirming her hunch that the Easter Bunny isn't real, thus crushing my youngest daughter's belief in all things magical, I have provided Ava with evidence that unicorns are, in fact, real. I went from zero to hero in a matter of milliseconds.

Friday, April 1, 2016 at 6:50pm CDT

With summer activity planning in full swing, I stepped back for just a few moments today and surveyed how our summer is shaping up. I've got 1 in baseball, 1 in softball, 2 in 2 different basketball camps, 1 in a 3 on 3 basketball league, 1 in football camp, 2 in golf league, 3 in golf clinic, 1 in Precious Pre-Teen Leadership camp, 1 in Zoo Crew, 1 in Vet camp, 1 in Test Tube Science camp. I'm almost certain I've forgotten something in my preliminary assessment, and I'm honestly afraid to think about it much more without a glass of wine in hand. T he first kid that exclaims "I'm bored" this summer has cat litter duty for the entire month of June.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016 at 6:34pm CDT

I had a world-altering experience today while shopping for produce. As I was reaching for my obligatory bag of Halos, Ava looks up at me quizzically and asks "Mom? Is the Easter Bunny real?" Holding onto my Halos just a little too tight and forcing a plastic smile , I panicked inside myself. I was not prepared for this. I knew it was coming, I've known since Christmas that we weren't far away from this conversation. But here I was smack in the middle of the produce aisle ready to kiss one whole phase of our lives goodbye. And I wasn't ready to do it. I looked at her carefully and, quickly weighing my options, I realized with a heavy heart that our time had come. This was her second time asking and it is about the same age both Julia and Tyler found out. Sadly, I confirmed her suspicion. I watched as everything clicked into place in her mind and prepared for the other questio ns that would inevitably follow. So, I have spent this evening dismantling a carefully crafted narrative of holiday magic, wonder, and love as it is personified in Santa and the Easter Bunny and started the process of attempting to craft a new narrative defined by the holiday magic, wonder, and love that we create for each other o n Christmas and Easter. It's a little surreal--and a lot sad. But mostly, I'm excited to see how our family evolves in our holiday traditions.

Monday, March 21, 2016 at 5:22pm CDT

2 kids down with strep, one kid whose "throat feels funny". Lest you think Spring Break is all pedicures, cocktails, beaches, and massages, think of me as I provide an endless supply of popsicles, gatorade, ibuprofin and antibiotics to my sick clan . Think of me as I fortify myself, my one remaining healthy child and my husband with orange juice and umpteen thousand vitamins. Think of me as I work endlessly to create and sustain a Lysol shiel d in my home. Think of me as I duck between sick beds and my computer as I try to figure out the best, most educational way to bring my semester to a close for my students. Think of me as I attempt to finish off several papers in an attempt to m eet the looming NCA deadline. Or, if you prefer, give me a call and invite me out for glass of wine. That works too :-)

Sunday, March 20, 2016 at 10:19pm CDT

It's a pretty amazing thing to realize that on four separate occasions today I drew from communication research to inform my approach to parenting. Today I talked to my kids about: (1) identity messages and the power each of them has to accept or challenge others' assertion about who they are (2) I had occasion to highlight the responsibility they bear to create space for difference in their talk (3) I had a frank conversation about drug use/abuse, and directly informed by research in our discipline, I articulated clearly our expectations of them in relation to that (4) I had an in depth conversation about body image issues and the role that media plays in shaping ours and others expectations It's nice to know the discipline I've dedicated my professional life to can inform my personal life in such important and productive ways!

Saturday, March 19, 2016 at 11:36am CDT

Spending this cozy day home with the family watching basketball (except for Julia, who is off doing what she loves working with animals on her first day of Zoo Crew for the season), making lasagna--my dear late cousin Amy's recipe--with homemade sauce that simmers all day and fills the house with a heavenly aroma. Moments like these highlight the warmth and love of family. Happy Saturday, Everyone!

Saturday, February 27, 2016 at 9:11pm CST

Driving home from Ty's b-ball game, I was talking to him and one of his teammates about the value of free throws. As I challenged the logic of their premise and asked them to articulate a better argument, Julia pipes up from the backseat--"ssshhhhh everyone! It's time for "Smart Moments...with Mom". I'll show you smart moments...

Saturday, February 27, 2016 at 4:56pm CST

Ava has asked me to read her To Kill A Mockingbird. My heart is soaring!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016 at 5:19pm CST

As the Schwann's guy rings the doorbell, Jason says with determination that he's going to tell him that we're done buying from him. We open the door, and he greets us with an explanation of his recent, unexpected open heart surgery. As Jason is ordering pizzas, ice cream, and a load of other things we weren't going to purchase, he tells us that the surgeons used a cow valve in his surgery. As we wrapped up our interaction, Tyler looks up and says-- "Did I hear that right? Did he get attacked by a cow?". Strange evening.

Sunday, January 10, 2016 at 8:57am CST

Julia, clearly perplexed, came to me last night and told me that her cell phone was making a strange beeping noise when she tried to call one of her friends. Distracted, I told her to use the home phone. A couple minutes later she comes to me, now visibly frustrated, saying that our home phone was making the same noise. I took the phone from her and held it to my ear. Busy Signal. #growingupdigital #generationgap

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 5:23pm CDT

Me to Tyler "Put that sunscreen on or I will embarrass the living crap out of you!" And that right there is a sure indication that we have entered the Dog Days of summer.

Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 7:03pm CDT

Tuesday, July 5, 2016 at 9:11pm CDT

Tuesday, June 21, 2016 at 10:38am CDT

Thursday, June 9, 2016 at 1:09pm CDT

Tyler, sounding truly conflicted, "Man. Being an athlete AND a musician is tough! Do I want to spend my time at Scheels or at Dietz??"

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 at 9:32am CDT

Thursday, April 7, 2016 at 7:37pm CDT

Ava and I have been enjoying nightly "tea times" lately. Evenings with a book, some riveting conversation, and a cup of hot tea. Life's simple pleasures yield some of life's biggest treasures :-)

Saturday, April 2, 2016 at 7:23pm CDT

Tuesday, March 22, 2016 at 6:34pm CDT
I had a world-altering experience today while shopping for produce. As I was reaching for my obligatory bag of Halos, Ava looks up at me quizzically and asks "Mom? Is the Easter Bunny real?" Holding onto my Halos just a little too tight and forcing a plastic smile , I panicked inside myself. I was not prepared for this. I knew it was coming, I've known since Christmas that we weren't far away from this conversation. But here I was smack in the middle of the produce aisle ready to kiss one whole phase of our lives goodbye. And I wasn't ready to do it. I looked at her carefully and, quickly weighing my options, I realized with a heavy heart that our time had come. This was her second time asking and it is about the same age both Julia and Tyler found out. Sadly, I confirmed her suspicion. I watched as everything clicked into place in her mind and prepared for the other questio ns that would inevitably follow. So, I have spent this evening dismantling a carefully crafted narrative of holiday magic, wonder, and love as it is personified in Santa and the Easter Bunny and started the process of attempting to craft a new narrative defined by the holiday magic, wonder, and love that we create for each other o n Christmas and Easter. It's a little surreal--and a lot sad. But mostly, I'm excited to see how our family evolves in our holiday traditions.

Saturday, February 27, 2016 at 9:11pm CST

Tuesday, January 26, 2016 at 5:19pm CST

Sunday, January 10, 2016 at 8:57am CST

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 5:23pm CDT

Me to Tyler "Put that sunscreen on or I will embarrass the living crap out of you!" And that right there is a sure indication that we have entered the Dog Days of summer.

Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 7:03pm CDT

Tuesday, July 5, 2016 at 9:11pm CDT

Tuesday, June 21, 2016 at 10:38am CDT

Thursday, June 9, 2016 at 1:09pm CDT

Tyler, sounding truly conflicted, "Man. Being an athlete AND a musician is tough! Do I want to spend my time at Scheels or at Dietz??"

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 at 9:32am CDT

Thursday, April 7, 2016 at 7:37pm CDT

Ava and I have been enjoying nightly "tea times" lately. Evenings with a book, some riveting conversation, and a cup of hot tea. Life's simple pleasures yield some of life's biggest treasures :-)

Saturday, April 2, 2016 at 7:23pm CDT

Saturday, February 27, 2016 at 9:11pm CST

Tuesday, January 26, 2016 at 5:19pm CST

Sunday, January 10, 2016 at 8:57am CST

We Must Not Turn Away: Election 2016

2016-11-20T18:52:00.001-06:00

I don't often find myself without words--and I continue to struggle to know how to explain the rhetoric and actions that have unfolded in this particular historical moment to my children. I wondered...how do you teach your children to love, accept and support all others in the midst of this moment in our history? Then I realized, the best thing I can teach them is to stand up for what is right and to never, ever turn away from injustice:

A perspective on the 2016 presidential election

2016-10-16T16:19:00.000-05:00

Like most of America, the 2016 presidential election is on my mind. Every election season, tensions rise, emotions run high, and people shut down from talking "politics". This is truly a shame. Our democracy is based on we the people. We should be discussing the pros and cons of our candidates. We should be talking about what we think is best for our country and why. We should be doing this in a civilized, respectful way--and we should be open to one another's thoughts and opinions. Of course, very few of us experience campaign seasons in this way. Very few of us engage in positive, constructive conversations with others--that is, others that disagree or hold different opinions. We talk all day long with people who agree with us--but that's not terribly productive, is it?

This election is unique. Like all elections, it's important. No candidate has emerged as a champion of the people or as a principled, ethical leader. We just aren't there as a country--though I hope and pray that we get there someday soon. This election, some people whole-heartedly back Hillary Clinton. Others whole-heartedly back Donald Trump. Most people seem to be where I see myself--not in strong support of either candidate while recognizing that it is my civic duty and moral obligation to vote. So, in light of this, very early in this process I put aside the fact that I disliked both candidates and got down to the business of trying to learn as much as I could about each candidate. I did this by seeking information from a variety of sources, always seeking to balance what I saw as inherent biases toward one or the other candidate. Ultimately, what I learned is that both of our presidential candidates are liars and opportunists. Both are interested in self-preservation and personal power. These interests in power are framed very differently--and we can speculate all day as to why that is--is it because one is a woman and one is a man? Is it because one is a career politician and one is an "outsider"? Both of these candidates have been caught in lies and deceit repeatedly over the course of their respective careers--and neither has been held to account for these actions. Both of these candidates have engaged in fraudulent, secretive behavior to advance personal gain at the expense of those with less power than them throughout their respective careers. If past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior--there is nothing that sets these two candidates apart for me. Nothing.

With this in mind, I turn my attention to trying to evaluate which of these two candidates is best able to lead the country based on how they articulate their positions on the key issues facing this country and all of this country's citizens. We all learned very, very quickly, that this was not going to be a campaign season that would afford us the opportunity to talk about the issues that are important to us, the American people. It was clear from the beginning that this was going to be about 'Crooked Hillary' against 'The Outsider Candidate'. Based on this frame, the media clearly privileged Donald Trump in their coverage in 2015-2016--affording him 3 times as much media coverage as any other candidate seeking a nomination and resulting in a media bias in his favor. News outlets couldn't get enough--and he reaped the benefits. We then shifted to making sexual assault central to this campaign. Make no mistake--the Trump campaign initiated this shift and continued to fan the proverbial fire of this shift right up to the point that it began burning him. Now, even as his top surrogates chastise the media for highlighting this issue, the candidate himself won't stop talking about it--at his rallies, through twitter.

So--since the Trump campaign not only opened the door to centralizing this issue but continues to keep it front and center--this has become a central tenet on how I will evaluate these two candidates. Why? Because sexual assault is an incredibly important issue. Rape culture is an incredibly important issue. It's not the issue that I started this election cycle prioritizing in terms of evaluating a presidential candidate--I honestly assumed that both candidates that earned a major party nomination would be on the same page with regard to squashing rape culture and the sexist attitudes that inhibit the women of this country in achieving their full potential. Sadly, I was wrong--and now it has become a very important defining issue of this campaign. This is about protecting who we are as a nation. Plain and simple.

This leads me to one of my core values--and one that guides my evaluation of each candidate's positions and policies. I place a high value on our responsibility to preserve the dignity of every human being. Preserving human dignity is a complex edict. Human dignity means that every human life is treated with dignity and respect. Dignity and respect. Take a look at our two candidates. How is Trump treating anyone with dignity and respect? He marginalizes all those who are different than him--and these are populations that are, in fact, vulnerable. He mocks the disabled. He mocks the dying--asking them to "hang on long enough to vote him in". He mocks minorities. If anyone dares disagree with this man, he ridicules them, calling them pathetic losers, ugly (too ugly to sexually assault--ANOTHER serious issue).

I know many people feel trapped and see this election as one of the most painful elections they've ever been through because some feel, based on religious beliefs, beholden to the one candidate that claims to be pro-life despite his consistent hateful and divisive rhetoric. To those friends of mine who feel that they must vote Trump because of his articulation of a pro-life stance, I would emphasize the importance of evaluating the character of this man. Evaluate his history. He only articulated a pro-life stance when he began seriously considering a run for the presidency--he was pro-choice for most of his adult life. We all know and understand that politicians--even novice politicians--know how to hold blocks of voters captive. All they have to do is pick a key issue for big blocks of voters and say that you support it. This one was an easy one for Trump--it's the Republican stance that many, many voters hold as a deal-breaker in the voting booth. So, he simply changed his stance from pro-choice to pro-life to hold the vote of a certain percentage of the electorate captive.

Now, it's one thing when you have two politicians with long standing records supporting their respective views. In that situation, I can see taking both politicians at their word on their stated positions on the matter. We do not have that this election cycle. Let me say that again. We do not have two candidates with a long standing record of opposite views on the issue of pro life. What we have is one candidate who has a long standing record of being pro-choice (Clinton). We have another candidate who has a history of being pro-choice, but a recent switch to pro-life (Trump). This candidate does not tout a pro-life agenda in his speeches or on the campaign trail---he's too busy tearing down women, minorities, and other whole segments of our population. This candidate has repeatedly lied about his positions WITHIN this election cycle. This is not even a candidate who, over the years, shifted in his positions. He is changing them on an almost daily basis in some cases. He denies that he holds positions, that he said things, that he supported things--that he clearly supported/said/articulated as a position. What's worse, he often falsely and strategically projects his previous often debunked or unpopular positions onto his opponent (e.g., the birther conspiracy) in an effort to discredit her. I do not trust that Trump is pro-life in any sense.

Another indication of Trump's failure to demonstrate a respect for human dignity is his clear racism and sexism. This election has involved the unprecedented legitimization of racist and sexist rhetoric. Donald Trump has been endorsed and is actively supported by white supremacists, nationalists, Holocaust deniers (e.g., David Duke of KKK fame). He spews rhetoric that not only further marginalizes the already subordinated minority groups in this country, but incites fear, anger, hatred, and violence. He makes gross, sweeping generalizations that are unfounded and that spread fear and hate for anyone that is different in any way. His words are having an effect--because words do matter. Particularly the words of someone held up as a model for our youth--something that *should* go hand in hand for being a nominee for president of the United States of America. School teachers across this country are noticing and reporting a "Trump Effect" on the playground and in their classrooms--where kids are using racist talk to bully children of different ethnic background. Take a look at people that identify as Trump supporters on Twitter--the things that are being said would make any decent human being sick.

Donald Trump clearly sees women as nothing more than decorative objects that exist for his, and other men's, sexual pleasure and entertainment. That cannot be disputed. This has come out in so many sickening ways--from recordings of him talking about how he regularly sexually assaults women to women coming forward recounting stories of him engaging in the very behavior he referred to as "locker room talk". Locker Room Talk. Let's stop for just a moment and think about this. Trump indicates that talking about sexually assaulting women is just "guy talk"--normal talk between guys when talking about women. For those that insist that words don't matter, I ask you to consider the following: His own son-a wealthy, privileged, powerful man-- said just the other day that women who can't tolerate sexual harassment should get out of the workplace and "go be kindergarten teachers". This is a man who makes decisions about employment and promotions regularly. Go watch North Country -- a movie chronicling the experiences that led to the Lois E. Jenson v. Eveleth Taconite Co. class action sexual harassment lawsuit--and tell me that this doesn't matter. His campaign sends maps around of how the election would look if only men voted to describe momentum to donors, completely discounting the women of this country, and his followers began a twitter hashtag aimed at repealing the 19th Amendment. If this does not convince you that this is dangerous--go watch the Hunting Ground. This powerful documentary talks about rape culture on college campuses. Words matter. Re-read the case of Brock Turner, Standford rapist. Words matter. These kinds of attitudes, shaped and expressed in words, create a culture permissive of racism, rape, and harassment. I shudder to think what the implications would be should Trump become the next president of the United States.

This all sounds pretty bad, I know. Sadly, it doesn't stop here. It only gets worse. Because this candidate has begun to amp up his talk undermining the very foundation of our democracy. He has begun calling into question the legitimacy of our voting process--setting the stage for an excuse for his overblown ego if/when he loses this election. Again--in a move that clearly demonstrates that his only interest is in his own self-preservation, he is suggesting that our democracy is "fake". He has encouraged his supporters to watch polls--and engage in voter intimidation. His supporters have taken this to mean that they should single out anyone who doesn't look like they speak "American" and stand over them in the polling booth. He is encouraging racial profiling and voter intimidation. He has, over the course of his campaign, repeatedly suggested to his supporters that they could exercise their second amendment rights and take action against Clinton should she win--and his supporters are calling for bloodshed and talking assassination. These kinds of sentiments are now beginning to color his campaign and supporters.His supporters are calling for a revolution in the event of a Clinton win. Mike Pence has said just this morning that he and and Trump would accept the outcome of this election should Clinton win--but why should we believe what Mike Pence says about what Donald Trump will do? The two of them don't agree or even talk about their position on anything. Pence has one plan to deal with Syria--Trump disagrees. Pence accepts that Russia is actively attempting to influence this election--Trump rejects this idea. Why would what Pence say about Trump's plans at the end of this election cycle mean anything at this point?

We can also talk about Trump's claim that the media is rigged to favor Clinton. CNN is rigged. Fox News is rigged. MSNBC is rigged. Saturday Night Live is rigged. All the newspapers are rigged. All because they are reporting on the things he himself is saying. Now--clearly there is and always has been media bias--with different news outlets leaning to the right and to the left. This is why we have to take it upon ourselves to seek out unbiased and balanced information from a variety of news sources. Shame on us if we get all of our information from one news outlet--that's simply irresponsible. Trump, though, is suggesting that the media is one big, unified entity that is colluding to keep Trump down. Let's not forget all the free press that Trump got in 2015-2016--the very media coverage that propelled him into his position as the Republican Party's presidential nominee. Now he is driving the issues that they cover--he won't stop talking about them. He made sexual assault a key issue in this campaign--and now he's dealing with the fall out of that. This is not the media creating a problem for Trump. This is Trump and his inability to control himself creating a problem for Trump. He openly wonders why a junior senator can't change our nation's laws all by herself. His lack of experience and education about how our government works is what's causing the problems for Trump. His lack of knowledge about the breadth and depth of issues facing this nation is what's causing the problems for Trump.

Despite how troubling all of this is--perhaps the most troubling is what is becoming more and more clear each and every day of this election season: Trump's dictatorial tendencies. He has always attempted to control press access and the way in which he is portrayed in the press. He has begun ridiculing and restricting press access at his events--to the point that reporters are now showing up at his rallies with security. He has denied the public access to his tax returns--why? Don't we have a right to know who he's tied to and what allegiances-foreign and domestic-he has if he wants to earn the privilege of leading this country? He has threatened to jail his political opponent should he win--this is terrifying! What's he going to do when the next candidate challenges him--or, God forbid he get into office, when his term limit is up? He has threatened to sue news outlets that publish unfavorable stories--this is a pattern stretching all the way back to the beginning of his career. He openly admires Vladmir Putin. Openly admires his leadership style and denies what top intelligence officials have told him about their conviction that Russia is attempting to influence this election. He defends Putin. Top officials in his campaign have been linked to Russia. This is really scary stuff. It is all the more reason why we need transparency with Trump--something we've NEVER had. He is secretive and denies us access to things pertinent to our decision-making process.

Finally, let's talk about transparency. Clinton's campaign has been laid open bare for us all to see. Not only her tax records, her record of public service, and now her illegally obtained emails. Lots going on there that should concern us--but at least we know what's there. We know virtually NOTHING about Trump. We don't know where his money has come from, we don't know how much he has despite the fact that his primary claim to credibility is that he is "incredibly wealthy and incredibly successful". The little that we do know of him suggests that he is a liar, that he craves power, that he has contempt for anyone that is different from him, that he will ridicule, attempt to sue, and even jail anyone who opposes him, that he has almost no self-control, that he is vengeful, that he is disinclined to listen to those who advise him, that he has no respect for the commitments this country has made around the globe, that he lacks even a basic knowledge about how our government actually works, and that he will wield the power of the oval office to further his own interests and avenge his hurt ego. That's what we know about Mr. Trump.

This election is not like other elections. Most elections we think about our situation, we think about the candidates platforms and ideologies, and we try to consider how they will affect our own situation. We can't afford to think that way in this election. We just can't. We're talking about electing the leader of the free world. We're talking about electing someone to look out for the best interests of all of our citizens. We're talking about electing someone to protect the democratic foundation on which our society is built. This is about much, much more than improving our economic situation or understanding "the art of the deal".

In the end, we all have to decide for ourselves. For some of us, there is a clear choice. I know that I feel as comfortable as I can feel that I am making a well-informed, thoroughly vetted, morally sound choice in doing what I can to keep Trump out of office. I know that each one of us is agonizing about our choices, each one of us cares deeply for our country, each one of us thinks our position is the best one. I know that some reading this will disagree with me to the core of their being--and I respect that. Because I respect this country and the principles on which it was founded. I respect our democracy and the power and responsibility that goes along with being a citizen. I hope you at least consider my point of view. Think it over. Then, if you want to sit down and talk about it--I'd love to do so. I think we need a whole lot more of that in this country. We should enjoy this process--not dread it. This election is important. In my mind, it becomes more important by the day.

Children Are People, Let's Parent Them That Way

2016-06-06T16:20:00.001-05:00

As a parent over the years I've lamented more times than I can count the fact that children are not treated like people. People are human beings with an innate sense of human dignity, a unique past, present, and future, who bear an innate responsibility for themselves and for others. Children are often positioned in our parenting culture not as unique human beings in this sense--rather, they are positioned as perpetually inadequate to manage their own lives and as projects that need to be perfected. In this way, children are seriously under-estimated as people, and it's impairing our ability to raise our young people to be resilient, responsible, happy adults.

When we first become parents, our children are like projects that we need to avoid messing up. As new parents, we have our newborn babies and spend inordinate amounts of time trying to absorb as much cultural wisdom from "experts" as we possibly can to ensure we are "doing it right". Most of this wisdom is grounded in the idea that parenting is a science that we should be working to perfect. There are how to books, websites, magazines, talk shows, parenting groups, hotlines...the works...all aimed at helping us achieve some perfect parenting model that will produce responsible, self-confident, happy, successful children. This yields a set of parenting standards by which we often judge our own and others' parenting decisions. The problem here, of course, is that no two people are alike. No two adults, no two kids. No two families. A good parent recognizes the needs of each individual child in light of this and makes the best possible decision for their child(ren). This looks different across children, across and within families, across and within cultures. These normative standards can be quite pervasive--prescriptions about what a responsible parent will and won't allow for their children. Prescriptions about how a responsible parent will respond when faced with specific issues. These prescriptions comprise a set of social standards that are paramount to a "one size fits all" approach to parenting--effectively creating a parent social identity by which parents measure themselves and others. This is in direct conflict with the undeniable truth that children and parents are themselves unique individuals. Parents have a responsibility to make parenting decisions based on the unique needs of their individual children, yet they manage this responsibility in the context of a social identity that limits their ability to do so.

Another consequence of children being positioned as projects that we as parents need to perfect is the idea that mistakes are bad. Sometimes, in the name of "good parenting", children are denied the basic human right to make--and, importantly, learn from--their own mistakes. These are the children who, as they enter school and develop relationships with peers, have parents who follow them into their junior high, high school, and even collegiate classrooms to argue for better grades or deadline extensions or excused absences. Children whose parents have made it a habit to take up arms to fix their children's quarrels, disagreements, discontents, blunders, and mistakes in their younger years find themselves with children who are more prone to mental health issues when faced with a world that expects them to navigate difficult circumstances, make their own decisions, and that doles out consequences when those decisions are poor. In essence, kids are being denied the ability to develop basic life coping skills--and it's making them miserable (http://qz.com/642351/is-the-way-we-parent-causing-a-mental-health-crisis-in-our-kids/). With college students' resiliency on the decline, (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201509/declining-student-resilience-serious-problem-colleges) this trend to view children as somehow in need of protection from making and learning from their own mistakes is one that deserves more in depth exploration. Children have to learn how to manage difficult times on their own. It's a real problem--and one that we see regularly at the collegiate level.

Sometimes this denial of a basic human experience--making and learning from mistakes--can contribute to even more severe consequences for these children and all with whom they interact as is highlighted by several notable cases. One example--Ethan Couch, AKA "Affluenza Teen" (http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/12/12/the-affluenza-defense-judge-rules-rich-kids-rich-kid-ness-makes-him-not-liable-for-deadly-drunk-driving-accident/)--stands out. The whole defense of this kid rested on the fact that his parents protected him from any and all consequences as he grew up and he was not held accountable for driving drunk and causing a fatal crash, forever changing the lives of 3 families.

It (should) go without saying that each child needs different kinds of guidance, parenting, support in order to grow and mature into self-confident, self-sufficient, self and other-aware, responsible members of society. It (should) go without saying that this support shifts over time as our children grow and develop as people. It (should) go without saying that the primary job we have as parents is to prepare our children to live their lives independent of us, and part of this process is allowing them space to fall down, fight their own battles, make mistakes, and move forward with our love and support. Our job is to let go--slowly at first--and guide them as young people who are growing, learning, and preparing to embrace all that life as an adult entails.

To Nominate or To Not Nominate?

2016-03-05T18:35:00.002-06:00

As I lay in bed fighting off a horrific cold, I've done what a lot of us have done as we've watched the cringe-worthy debates, rallies, primaries, and caucuses that define our political process. I've thrown my hands up in disbelief. But the process continues on--ramping up as we move ever closer to an eventual nomination. Let's just slow down for a minute here, folks. We just saw the documentary, The Hunting Ground, win an Oscar. This documentary highlights the fact that 16% of college women will be raped, and 88% of those women will not report it. We are all outraged by this. We all agree, I hope, that women are not sexual objects that are perpetually available for men to take whenever and however they wish. This, to my mind, is one of the reasons that the documentary The Hunting Ground, and others like it, are so powerful. Yet, we are seriously considering nominating a man for the office of President of the United States who systematically objectifies women, reducing them to their sexuality at every turn. When a women asserts a position of power in challenge to his own, he dismisses her as being menstrual. We have seen, in these debates, the candidates position their penises as topics worthy of discussion while they are interviewing with the American public for the highest office in the land. How am I, as a woman, supposed to feel valued in this process? How am I, as a mother to two daughters, supposed to feel confident that the next leader of our great nation will value my daughters as individuals? To teach them to value themselves as people and not sexual objects? How am I as a mother to my son, supposed to teach him that men and women alike should be valued for who they are, not their sexuality--when those that we are watching interview for the presidential bid devalue women and sexualize both men and women in this way?

I watched The Hunting Ground this weekend--a documentary that tells an incredibly disturbing story of rape on college campuses and how young women who are victims of this crime are systematically silenced and/or how their stories are co-opted by institutional interests. The documentary, however, is not only disturbing...it is hopeful and inspiring. These women were able to organize together and enact change. They fought a culture that first attempted to silence them and second, when their stories were articulated, effectively de-legitimated them. These women supported each other in the absence of institutional support--and reached out to other women experiencing the same kind of institutional and cultural violence instead of support to not only create space for these stories, but to organize together to ensure their stories were heard AND legitimated--and ultimately challenge the prevailing narrative of rape on college campuses. How can we be confident that our presidential candidates, who so willingly reduce women and men to their sexual organs on the debate stage--will take this epidemic seriously? The answer? We can't.

I've got news for each of you seeking the presidential nomination. Words matter. They shape and, unfortunately for you, reflect attitudes. Communication shapes reality--and the words that you choose on that debate stage or in that rally or in any other public forum matter a great deal. You are seeking to lead us. Your words reach a large audience--making them particularly powerful. With great power comes great responsibility. And quite frankly, in my book, none of you are worthy of that responsibility.

So, as we look around at each other in disbelief as this political process unfolds like a circus, let's not forget the incredibly serious implications of the circus we're witnessing. The rhetoric they are spewing has already been legitimated--and this only gets worse as the process continues toward the nomination. I went into this election season hopeful that I could evaluate differing perspectives and ideas on the issues that I see as most salient in moving us forward as a nation. Instead, I'm finding myself in the midst of an election season that threatens to move us backward and rather than looking hopefully to the future, I see us fighting to at least maintain what progress we've already achieved.

Dissertation Dedication and Acknowledgments

2015-07-30T07:31:00.002-05:00

DEDICATION

This dissertation is dedicated to my husband and three children, without whom none of this would have been possible. My husband, Jason Castle, deserves special recognition. He has always believed in me and in us, and has been my rock throughout our married life, of which this particular endeavor is just one part. Jason has the most incredible ability to balance and prioritize all the important elements of life—and his incredible dedication to our family and his commitment to pursuing our dreams have been what has made this journey possible. Not only has he provided me with strength, unconditional love, and encouragement along the way, he has been instrumental in helping our family maintain a healthy balance between work and play. It was his willingness to take on so many of the day-to-day responsibilities and stress of family life that enabled me to strike a comfortable balance between scholar, wife, and mother—a balance that was necessary for me to successfully walk this path these last four years. He is the love of my life, an incredible husband and partner, and an even more amazing father to our three children.

Our three children, Julia Castle, Tyler Castle, and Ava Castle, have also been instrumental in this accomplishment. Their patience, support, love, and pride in this pursuit has served as fuel for this journey. Each one of them has shown support in so many different ways, though a few things stand out as worth mentioning here.

Julia has always taken an interest in the topics of my studies—asking questions, offering thoughts and insights, and setting her books up next to me so we could study together. I have always valued our discussions about research and the impact it can have on improving our world. Most recently, her reflection on and appreciation of the fact that, after being diagnosed with SLE myself, I centered my dissertation research on the experience of SLE in the hopes of improving the health and well-being of those struggling with SLE, served to confirm for me that our children see the real-world impact of educational pursuit. Her insights always amaze me and I look forward to seeing where her intellectual curiosity takes her in life and to many more thought-provoking and heartfelt discussions over the years. I am so blessed to be her mother.

Tyler has been tenacious in his support of this goal—he has always been able to sense when the balance between family and scholarly pursuit felt overwhelming to me, stepping up with a well-timed “You can’t give up, Mom, I’m so proud of you!” His passion for the importance of this pursuit and his unwavering confidence in me have been more important to me than I can express. He is, without a doubt, an incredible son. I look forward both to supporting him wherever his commitment, tenacity, and passion take him and celebrating his many inevitable accomplishments.

Ava’s big heart and unconditional love have also been instrumental to this journey. Her patience with this process is unparalleled. After a full day of work and a full evening of reading and writing, Ava was always right there to sit and cuddle with me, make me laugh, tell me that she loves me, and make me feel so special even as I sat there exhausted from the demands of the day. She has always been able to help me re-focus my attention onto our family even during my most stressful times over these last four years. She is a true blessing, and I look forward to both many more cuddles and laughter and to seeing how she ends up putting her unique personality and talents together to make her dreams come true.

I am so proud of each member of our family and the way we all worked together to earn this Ph.D. I am so grateful for each of them and their unconditional love and support. I hope and pray that the path our family has followed will inspire our children to find happiness both in the pursuit of their dreams and in the love, comfort, and support of their families.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

In reflecting on my educational experience that has culminated in earning a doctor of philosophy in Communication Studies, I have many people to thank in addition to my husband and children. First, my parents, Dick and Joan Ford, for the unconditional love and support they have surrounded me with throughout my life. They always encouraged me to pursue my dreams, challenge myself, and to always keep learning. It is because of them that I ever believed this was possible. It is through their loving guidance that I learned the importance of a strong work ethic, believing in myself, nurturing my faith, and serving others in all my endeavors. Though I could list a million different instances where these two amazing people showed me their love and support, I think the most poignant examples lie in their everyday sacrifices that made clear that they prioritized our family over everything else in life. Because of them, I always felt loved, valued, special, safe, secure, and comfortable in my own skin. This foundation that they provided me has enabled my every success and provided me with the ability to learn from every failure. I treasure them with my whole heart and attribute my academic success to them.

I would also like to acknowledge my siblings, Tim Ford, Tom Ford, Jodi (Ford) Safris, and Anne (Ford) Wegner, whose love and support have always provided me with a sense of security and whose unique personalities and approaches to life have long served as a foundation for one of my most fundamental beliefs—that all perspectives are inherently valid and necessarily incomplete. This foundational personal belief has served as a guide for my personal life as well as for my academic career. Each one of them is amazing, and I am proud to be a member of this incredible family.

In addition to an incredible family, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge those individuals who have been instrumental in shaping my education. First, Dr. Kathleen Krone, who advised my master’s thesis and encouraged me to pursue my Ph.D. It was because of her that I believed I was well-suited to doctoral studies. Second, though many of my educators encouraged me to think beyond my own perspective, Dr. Phyllis Japp was instrumental in helping me to challenge myself to do so in every situation. Dr. Kristen Lucas, a friend and mentor, who recognized the need to push me out of stagnation and into the next step in my educational journey. Without her, I fear I may have never taken that leap into applying to the doctoral program. Dr. Jordan Soliz, who both encouraged me to work toward my Ph.D. and who has, on so many occasions, said just exactly the right thing to help me embrace the struggle inherent in the educational process. Dr. Dawn O. Braithwaite, who has been so supportive of my education over the years and who has helped me develop an incredible respect for the value of qualitative research. I also extend my gratitude to Dr. Jody Koenig Kellas, my doctoral advisor and mentor, who has gently yet consistently challenged me to interrogate what I think I know. Her commitment to my success, both as a scholar and in balancing my personal and academic life, has been key to my achievements. It is through her guidance and tutelage that I was able to come to terms with who I am as a scholar of communication studies—and that is a gift for which I will forever be grateful.

I would also like to thank the women who shared their SLE experiences with me in interviews or surveys. Their stories have shaped my own sense-making about SLE in powerful ways. I am so appreciative of their trust and candor, and look forward to building from what I’ve learned to improve how we live with and relate in SLE.

In sum, I am grateful to have had the great fortune of knowing and developing relationships with a host of incredible people who have nurtured me in some way or another over the years. I am as humbled by as I am appreciative of these individuals and so many others who have been instrumental in shaping my life today. I hope and pray that I can have a similar influence on the lives of others over the next several years.

Coming Full Circle

2015-06-24T23:03:00.000-05:00

This evening, while braving an especially hot night at the ballpark watching my son play baseball, my almost 13 year old daughter asked me: "Mom? Is lupus genetic?" I thought for a minute, not really sure what to tell her...the fact that I have lupus does predispose her to it (and a multitude of other autoimmune diseases), but, it's not "genetic" per se. I settled on the truth, emphasizing that we've been in close discussion with her pediatrician when I was first diagnosed and were assured that there was no need to be concerned. I went on to explain that one of the best things about my diagnosis has been how much I've learned about autoimmune conditions and lupus so I know what things to watch for. She sat there for a minute and said "You know, I wasn't really even thinking about that part of it. I was really just thinking about how cool it's been to watch you. I mean, you got diagnosed with lupus right before you started working on your PhD. And now here you are four years later doing all this research to make life better for people who have lupus. It's really neat".

I said when I first started this blog that it would be a reflection on my journey as a parent in academia, simultaneously working to raise her children and earn a PhD. Back when all of this started, I knew that I would be changed...as a parent...and as an academic...by these two roles so central to my identity. Parenting has affected my academic and scholarly life in meaningful and important ways. Similarly, my scholarly life has shaped my approach to parenting. What I hadn't realized at the time was just how symbiotic the relationship between these two roles would become.

You see, I began my PhD in Fall 2011. I was supposed to start in the Summer of 2011, but that spring I received some unexpected, potentially life-changing news. I had lupus. My body apparently didn't like itself, and had decided to wage war...on itself. As the news soaked in, I realized that this was not exactly like a common cold or the flu...this was a disease that could attack any and all of my organs...and was something that could dramatically limit me. So, rather than starting classes as planned, I spent the summer learning everything I could about "The Great Imitator". It turned out, I was fortunate. The disease was caught early, I was placed on preventative medication, and I just had to learn how to manage the occasional flares.

I have worked full time and taken classes part time since then, all the while continuing to learn more about this mysterious thing called lupus. It became clear to me early on that this was something I needed to explore more fully...and it became a research interest, eventually morphing into my dissertation topic. I knew that I wanted to make a difference for others battling lupus...those that perhaps did not have the benefit of an early diagnosis. I've heard so many stories and learned so much about the incredibly diverse ways that lupus can attack both a body and a spirit...and I wanted my research efforts to be centered on helping others impacted by the disease.

I've spent a good portion of my time pursuing my PhD scared to death that I was sacrificing too much as a parent. It's not something you do as an after-thought...this pursuit is all encompassing. Was I being selfish? What if my kids grew up feeling like my PhD was more important to me than they were? What if they somehow got the idea that I didn't have time to talk through their problems? What if...?

But tonight, Julia's comment at the top of the sixth inning laid all those fears to rest. Her insight helped me to see the value in what they've seen these last four years. She helped me to see that my academic and parenting lives have been working in concert this whole time...just as I suspected they would when I started this blog. In those times where I second-guessed myself, the kids were watching and learning. Those times when I was busy reading, writing, and researching, they weren't suffering. They were learning how to pursue a goal. They were seeing the importance of pursuing a passion. They were learning how to work hard to achieve...and to balance that with family. They were learning that true success lies in how well you serve others. They were learning that life is full of possibility.

What an incredible journey this has been for our family. I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings...