Are We There Yet?

World AIDS Day

2010-12-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

Many of us get so wrapped up in our daily lives that we forget to pay attention to the rest of the world. We've all been guilty of whining and complaining about all that is wrong in our lives. Very seldom do we think about those who suffer every day. There are people living right next door to us who are suffering every day from intolerable diseases;ones that will plague them for the rest of their lives.

So today, I ask that we all pay a little more attention to those who constantly suffer. I have written a lot about the need for more activists to fight against Cancer. Today I am asking that we all start to pay a little more attention to fight against HIV and AIDS. For years people with HIV and AIDS have had to walk around with a scarlet letter. People automatically assume that people who have contracted the disease are careless, disgusting, immoral people who don't deserve our attention or sympathy. But those people are mothers, daughters, sisters, teachers, and friends. A killer like HIV and AIDS does not discriminate. But it does do is chip away at the soul. It plays mind games with the infected and causes them grief and strife. It tears apart families and leaves children to be orphans. A 2008 study by the CDC indicated that African Americans accounted for 52% of new HIV diagnoses and 48% of AIDS diagnoses, 32% whites, and 20% Hispanic or Latino. With such alarming numbers facing our communities, we can't help but take notice and take ACTION.

HIV/AIDS is no longer a disease that is only attributed to people who are homosexual or drug users. Many of the new cases are from people who contracted the disease from their partners. These are people who were in long term, monogamous relationships and had no idea that they were at risk. We have to be honest with ourselves and realize that it could happen to any of us. We have to do our part in fighting the spread of the disease by getting tested on a regular basis, wearing protection while having intercourse, and educating our children about the disease. Please take this pledge to spread awareness by leaving your name in the comments section of this post. We have to work together if change will ever come.

The Princess Diaries

2010-11-19T09:48:00.000-08:00

I was so excited when I first saw the commercial for the new Disney movie Tangled. It’s based on the classic tale of Rapunzel; which was one of my favorite bedtime stories. I remember begging my mom to read it to me every single night for months at a time. After she was done I would tie a scarf on to the end of my ponytail and pretend that I was the princess stuck in the tower. I went to bed dreaming that I would be a princess when I grew up.

My delusions of grandeur didn’t really go away when I grew up. Although I had never lived in a tower, did not have a ponytail that dragged on the ground, and did not have a prince with a white horse, I was still a princess in every sense of the word (at least in my own little world). I was lucky enough to have sort of a fairytale wedding complete with sabers and Dress Blues, and my prince did surprise me with a white Range Rover. However, whenever I left the house people seemed as though they never got the memo. No one was throwing rose petals at my feet or shouting out my name when I walked through Wal Mart. I mean, HELLO…did they not treasure the presence of a princess like my husband did? Geez!

To make matters worse, here comes that damn Kate Middleton. I have to say, as much as I hate that she is stealing my shine, I am kinda fond of the girl. She doesn’t seem as if she has let the allure of the fabulous life go to her head. Kate’s been seen in custom designed evening gowns, and jeans and t-shirts. I love a princess who is not afraid to throw on a pair of jeans and watch sports with her man. Now the entire world is watching her as she moves into the next chapter of her life.

Although the rock she is sporting is not even as big as the one Khloe Kardashian wears, Kate’s new gem is causing quite a stir. All of a sudden women are completely obsessed with the sapphire sparkler. It would be interesting to see how the obsession with the new princess to be will affect the fashion world. It seems Kate is giving the ‘Tangled’ Disney star a run for her money. The princess to be has already been flanked by a brood of security and an army of paparazzi blinding her as they document her every move. I guess when you think about it I’m kind of lucky that the Commoners have not yet discovered that I’m a princess. It gives me more room to breathe. I enjoy not having to stop for autographs at every stoplight; that’s hard work. And throwing rose petals at my feet would only mean that there’s more to clean. Who wants that? I guess I can deal with letting Kate share the spotlight. It will give me a break. In the meantime, all of London is happy that William put a ring on it...

Food for thought: The color complex

2010-11-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

When I first started my blog, I told myself that I would always present a diverse set of topics on my blog. I have never been one to embrace the over saturation of a particular topic.In fact, I find it a tad bit annoying when people continue to stress about the same topics day in and day out. I have many layers to me, tons of different emotions, and a basket full of issues that are important to me. So it should come as no surprise that I would write about tons of different topics. I don't believe in cookie cutter politics. I write from the heart, or I don't write at all.

With all of that said, I find myself once again blogging on the issue of race. Last week I blogged about Tyler Perry's new movie 'For Colored Girls', and the 'Black Girls Rock' event that aired on BET. Finding a bevy of positive press for black women is sometimes an awful challenge. Too often black women are depicted as mean,conniving,and downright bitter. Never mind the reasons why...they just are! At least that's the way society has pegged us. We walk around rolling our necks and snapping our fingers cussing out our Baby Daddy. When you see us in the store, we have four kids, no husbands, and we carry food stamps. Okay STOP right there! I'm sorry, but not ALL black women fit into that category. While there is a significant gap in the Black community for educated women with middle class lifestyles, there are still plenty of us who do fit the mold of a woman (not just a black woman) living the American dream. I have a problem with the stereotypes that the media has bestowed upon us, because unlike what the networks and Mediatakeout.com tend to report, my inner sister circle is cut from a different cloth. We carry briefcases, we hang our degrees on the wall, we read the classics, we go to PTA meetings. But somehow this all gets overlooked. I guess the image of the Black June Clever doesn't make headlines.

What's even worse for black women today is that we are also often stereotyped by our own community. Now I know that this may be a little forthright. I never intend to step on anyone's toes, but I tend to call it like I see it. It is shameful to me that for the past 33 years of my life I have had to 'prove' my blackness. My skin is a lot lighter than most of my friends, but my pain is the same color. Unless you've experienced it firsthand, perhaps you may never understand. For some of us, our experiences with racism are few and far between. I'm not naive enough to think that my plight is as difficult as my darker skinned sisters. In fact it angers me that the people I love should have to go through leaps and bounds to prove themselves on a daily basis. As if the history of American racism wasn't enough, our society has now created another divisive issue on 'being black'. Sadly enough black women are now dealing with the stereotype of being a "sell out". Because I have a degree, because I have white friends, because my kids speak proper English I am automatically black-balled. "She's not black enough, She's too black, she's trying to be white, she's trying to be black". Well excuse me for trying to continue to carry the torch that my ancestors carried. I refuse to apologize for upward mobility.

It pains me to think that the next generation may possibly inherit our ignorance. The beauty of being a woman is that we have a supernatural bond. It amazes me that we can turn such a beautiful thing into an issue that will divide us for life. When I speak about 'Colored Girls' I speak about ALL colored girls, not just African American women. I guarantee you that every colored girl on this planet has had her fair share of painful moments. Unfortunately its how the world works. If all else fails, at least I can pass on knowing that I did my part to change things. So here's to Colored Girls, and hoping we all enjoy the rainbow.

What a weekend for Colored Girls...

2010-11-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was monumental for black women. The movie ‘For Colored Girls’ directed by Tyler Perry premiered on Friday, and Sunday night BET aired Black Girls Rock! An award show honoring key women for their accomplishments and commitment to empowering the black community.

"For Colored Girls" was produced and directed by Tyler Perry and is adapted from the 1975 Broadway stage play, "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf," written by the poet Ntozake Shange. Perry’s take on the legendary play left viewers feeling closer to their fellow ‘Colored Girls’. While extremely intense, and sometimes very daunting, the 2010 version of the original play touched on modern day issues pertaining to black women. The award winning cast portrayed a variety of outlooks on the lives of Colored Girls. Whether they were ivory hued, golden brown, or ebony colored, every woman in the audience could identify with at least one of the characters. Though Perry changed the original format, he included lines of prose periodically throughout the film that allowed the script to stay close to its original roots. ‘For Colored Girls’ is a must see for women of all ages.

The televised premier of Black Girls Rock! carried the momentum of the weekend’s celebratory spirit. The event was filmed last month and was hosted by actress Nia Long, and featured performances from women like Jill Scott, Ledisi, Fantasia, and more. Black Girls Rock! was started by DJ Beverly Bond, and this year marks the first year that the awards show for the organization was televised. Black Girls Rock! provides arts education, public service opportunities, and mentoring to girls ages 12-17. Bond has figured out a way to inspire young black women, and give them positive images of black women who are doing things to ensure the success of our future generation.

The award show honored women of different backgrounds, different hues, and different talents. It resonated with the notion that black women of all different types endure hardships that should unite us instead of dividing us. Beverly Bond has proclaimed that “Instead of being defined, we’re defining ourselves.”

Though the entire event was spectacular from start to finish, the most powerful moment for me would have to be the very last performance that honored the late Nina Simone. Jill Scott, Kelly Price, Ledisi, and Marsha Ambrosius sang their rendition of Simone’s “Four Women”. Attendees of the event stated that the crowd was so moved that they insisted the ladies do an encore. I can imagine there was not a dry eye in the house after hearing the powerful medley. It was undeniably, the best performance I've seen all year.

Check it out for yourself….Do you know a Black Girl that Rocks? What did you think of the event? As always, I would love to hear your opinions…

Celebrate the Holidays with Shutterfly!

2010-11-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

It is so hard for me to believe that its already November. I am still recuperating from this summer. As the holidays approach, I immediately start thinking about family events, food, and lots and lots of pictures!

My family has nicknamed me "The Paparazzi". Anyone who knows me understands how much I LOVE capturing memories. Life can move so fast, and capturing moments on camera is something for a family to cherish for years and years. In this day and age it is good to have a way to ensure that your precious photos remain available to you for years to come. Shutterfly.com is a great website that allows to save your photos in an online album, and use those photos to make greeting cards, invitations, calendars, and more. Shutterfly has truly made my photo sharing experience a whole lot easier. With family scattered all over the country, Shutterfly's online albums allow you to upload your photos for storage, and gives you peace and mind knowing that your photos are safe. I cannot tell you how many times I have stressed about photos that have gotten damaged or missing. With an online photo sharing site, all of the guess work is gone, and your photos are available to you at all times.

Shutterfly has tons of products that make the holidays special. They have a variety of greeting cards and invitations for holiday parties and celebrations. One of my favorites is the line of Thanksgiving announcements and dinner invitations. These are perfect for sharing my Thanksgiving plans with all of my friends, and a great way to kick-start the holiday season and say goodbye to Fall.

Of all the wonderful products on the Shutterfly site, I would have to say that the Christmas photo cards are my absolute favorite. There are SO many designs to choose from. They're a great way to celebrate your family's own distinct personalities and share it with your loved ones. Shutterfly definitely puts it own spin on the traditional family Christmas card. With the variety of designs on the site, my biggest issue this season will be figuring out which one of their cards I like the best.

sigh

2010-10-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

We ALL have those days, so ladies don't look at me sideways. You know exactly what I'm talking about. The days when your coffee doesn't taste right, you get a ticket on your way to work, and you find out that you've had a run in your stockings all day long that no one told you about. To make matters worse, you come home to find that your cat chewed the stuffing out of yet another expensive throw pillow, and that milk that you planned on using for your casserole is two weeks past its expiration date. THAT is the type of day I'm referring to. (This is the point in which you all nod in agreement...)

I can't say that there is one certified quick fix for a day like that. After all, if there were, the makers of Robert Mondavi and Haagen Dazs would not be doing as well as they are. But it never hurts to try a few tips from others who've experienced those "not so great days". Here's a few pointers:

1-Shut down your computer early, and as you're walking out of the office roll your eyes (like you MEAN IT) at the girl who shares the cubicle next to you. She totally broke the girl code by not telling you about that horrendous run in your stockings.

2-Use the ticket you got that morning for confetti. You could use a little bit of decorating on the Honda. Shred that baby and tape the pieces around the tail pipe as you speed out of the parking lot early. (For some reason I'm thinking that this probably is some sort of safety hazard, but hey, a girl's gotta do something to lift her spirits.

3-Instead of making that casserole, make your husband or boyfriend a White Russian. The liquor in the drink will mask the flavor of the spoiled milk, and after a couple of those he won't care that dinner is late.

4-Your cat...well...its a cat. That's what they do. Accept Miss Kitty's attitude and keep it moving.

5-Read this post of mine that I wrote back in January of last year. I'm sure you'll find some good tips on balancing life-Balancing Life and Motherhood 2009

6-Spend some time in solitude. You'll find out that everything you thought was devastating is in fact just trivial. At the end of the day you can never prevent the little unknowns that life throws out there. Worrying about them won't fix them, nor will they prevent them from occurring again. Take a bath, close your eyes, and when you get out of the tub put your Big Girl panties on. After all, tomorrow's a new day....

Black Girls Rock!

2010-10-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

This day and age our young people need us more than ever. Our youth are faced with heavy issues that are slowly wearing down their self esteem and future goals. Thankfully there are organizations out there that are committed to helping our youth and boosting their self esteem. Black Girls Rock is a non-profit organization committed to building the self-esteem and self-worth of young women of color. The organization emphasizes ways that young women can empower themselves and take an active role in their community.

Black Girls Rock was founded by celebrity DJ and former model, Beverly Bond. It was established out of a reactionary movement to address the negative stereotypes of women of color in the mainstream media. The organization uses the arts as medium to inspire teenage girls to dream bigger and create new opportunities for themselves. The organization’s name was carefully chosen as a strong affirmation that young people indeed have the capability to change their own lives.

This year Black Girls Rock has teamed up with BET networks to televise its award show held at the Paradise Theatre in New York City. The event honors some of the most exceptional women of color for their achievements and contributions to our society. Some of the award categories include: the Rock Star Award, Social Humanitarian, Living Legend, and Who Got Next. The show will be televised on BET networks on Nov. 7, 2010 at 8pm EST.

With the increase in negative stereotypes in the mainstream media, it is refreshing to see that there are organizations and networks aiming to increase the amount of positive, inspirational coverage of women of color. Black Girls Rock has high hopes that by partnering with a major network such as BET that they will increase awareness of a such an important issue in our community, and offer positive alternatives to our future generation.

Honorees of the night included Actress/Media Mogul Raven Symone, Keke Palmer, Missy Elliot, Iyanla Vanzant & Legendary Actress Ruby Dee with amazing performances from Jill Scott, Monica, Fantasia, Keri Hilson, Keyshia Cole, Marsha Ambriusos and more.

For more information, or to donate to the organization check out:
http://Blackgirlsrockinc.com

Under a Rock...

2010-10-13T12:41:00.000-07:00

Yes people, I have in fact been under a rock. Not the type of rock that affected those determined Chilean miners, but more like a psychological rock-a defense mechanism perhaps. It seemed that as soon as I decided to bare my soul to the world, a huge wall built up around me. The writing on the wall said "Need a break...be back soon". (Amazing that I didn't even recognize my own handwriting) I guess the break was more needed than I thought. I haven’t updated my blog, and I missed my last deadline for my monthly column in ‘Her…magazine’. I look forward to writing my column in the magazine every month, but this month I was so busy that I completely forgot about it. I thought maybe I could throw something together at the last minute just to make the deadline, but I don’t produce junk. So what was better, a last minute article that didn’t measure up to my normal work, or simply foregoing this month’s issue? Of course I went back and forth, thinking to myself that I might lose a few audience members if I stayed away too long. But when push came to shove, it was either lose some of my audience or lose my sanity. For what it’s worth, I chose sanity.
You'll have to count it to my head, and not my heart. I really haven't intentionally dismissed all that is around me. I simply needed to focus more on pertinent issues around me. Like my 13 yr old stepson who is going through a sea of growing pains, or my tired and stressed out husband who is running a million dollar firm on a wing and a prayer, or my best friend who lost both her dad and her brother this summer. We were all VERY tired and needed a minute to regroup. There is only so much chocolate and wine in the world, and driving to a PTA meeting drunk and fat is NOT an option for me.

Amazingly enough, the world was still in tact once I poked my head out from under that rock. I had the impression that the rest of the world had been spinning ferociously and had left me behind. I expected to come out and see little green men in space suits walking around Wal Mart and the Dollar Store as if I had been gone for centuries. As busy as I am, 5 days does seem like a century for me. My friends, my emails, my Twitter updates had all been pushed to the back burner. But thankfully for me, they were all still waiting when I came back. And now I actually feel productive again. I have on heels and eye liner again instead of flip flops and baseball caps. I feel ME again! Time to go stick my roast in the oven…

Why Life Doesn't Suck...

2010-09-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

Recently I went out on a limb. As many of you may know, I am in the process of perfecting my love for the written word. Since I was able to speak I had a book in my hand with my imagination going wild. While I don’t share a lot of what I write, I do post some of my inner thoughts here on my blog.

So when I read about an opportunity to work with iVillage.com I immediately felt enthused. iVillage connected with TwitterMoms.com and shared that they were looking for contributors for their website. They were looking for interesting women with lots to say who could keep an audience entertained. That’s obviously me right? Well, maybe…
Taking part in this project would also mean that I would actually be in front of a camera, and not just hiding behind a screen pounding out on the keys. While I love people, and love to laugh and smile, I am not necessary in love with being in front of a camera. Something about looking at myself frozen in time with my voice sounded distorted seems a little daunting to me. But oh well, there’s a first time for everything.

So, I gave myself a pep talk, and I decided to go for it. My plan was to just go ahead and do it…I needed to apply for the opportunity as soon as possible before I changed my mind. If it went ahead and turned in my essay application right away I wouldn’t get too attached to the idea of me working with iVillage, and I wouldn’t be too disappointed if I didn’t make the cut. After all, there were thousands of people all over the country interested in this opportunity. Well, to my surprise they liked my essay. I got an email from the folks at iVillage a couple of days later saying that they loved my essay and wanted me to submit a 3 minute audition tape. The worst part is that I only had a few days to submit. This meant that I had not choice but to suck it up, or walk away. Procrastination was not an option at this point.

I tossed and turned trying to figure out an angle. I found myself obsessing and critiquing a video that was not even made yet. I wanted to give people a full view of who I was and what my life was like, but I only had three minutes to do it. With the help of my genius of a little brother, I managed to move a mountain in just under 3 minutes. I was amazed at how at ease I felt after I finally did it. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be getting ready to send a video of myself to a group of executives over at NBC. What the HELL was I thinking? I nearly passed out after I emailed the files.

Somewhere in the back of my head, I started to think that maybe the opportunity wasn’t for me. I don’t know if it was the fact that over 500 people were competing for 10 slots, or just the fact that I was stepping outside of my comfort zone. To make matters worse, the submissions were so great that the executives decided to go with 15 contributors instead of 10. While that increased my chances of getting chosen, it also increased my chances of rejection. I didn’t know whether to embrace it or stick my head in the sand.

Finally I got an email. I could hear my heart beating through my chest, and I almost knew what it would say. I was right. “While we appreciate your interest, we were not able to choose you at this time”. I was almost relieved. At least the torture was over, and I knew where to go from there. I felt extreme disappointment for about 2 minutes, and then I opened up a Word document and started typing. No need to live in the past, there were other opportunities out there to be seized. While I didn’t make the cut, I did, however live up to my own expectations. I managed to step outside of the box. I placed myself in a vulnerable position and put myself out there. 2 years ago I would never dream of doing such a thing. The old Eve would have played it safe and stuck her head in the sand. Its so easy to call yourself “a writer” if you hide behind the pen and never let anyone critique your work. I could tell you I was a magician if I wanted to but never make a single card disappear. But once you put yourself out there, you have to deliver. You can’t roll down the red carpet; you have to strut your stuff like Naomi Campbell. And that’s exactly what I was doing with my audition video. In my mind I had on the fiercest Louboutins a girl could find, and I was doing my thang. And once it was done I felt good about myself. I had just placed myself in a position where I had to deliver. I put myself in a place where life didn’t suck. Instead life had a bowl of opportunities just for me. So, instead of sulking and crying my eyes out I feel like life doesn’t really suck. In fact, life is pretty good if you ask me. Stay tuned to find out just how good…

Life unexpected...

2010-09-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

I've always felt like I was a bit misplaced in the world. I was born in Long Island, NY and spent the beginning of my life there. My family and I moved to NC when I was 14 and I've lived here ever since. I maintained close friendships with many of my friends from NY, and most of my family is still there so I always had a strong connection to my Northern roots. No matter how much distance is between me and the Empire State, it will always have my heart. My fondest memories were made there, and being a New Yorker has molded me into the woman I am today.

Ever since I stepped foot on Southern soil I have felt a little out of place. I never quite fit in with the Southern Belles around me, and I had kind of lost touch with my crew from NY. As you might imagine, dropping a teenager off in the middle of the South is like slow torture. Though I loved being closer to my grandparents, and loved my new friends in NC, something just never quite clicked. The first couple of years I lived here I got a lot of "You're not from around here are you?" or "You talk funny". I got tired of explaining my story to everyone I met, so for the most part I kept kinda quiet.

So when it was time for my high school class reunion I kinda had mixed emotions. Since I felt like I never truly bonded with my friends from high school, a class reunion was the last thing on my mind. I hadn't talked to most of the people I went to school with for several years at that point. Most of them had remained close throughout college. I found out about my reunion at the last minute....in fact, it was the morning of my reunion. Being that it was such short notice, I was unsure about whether or not I should go. I had no idea who would be there, if there was anyone I knew who would be attending, and I didn't have a date. For someone like me who likes to plan out my every move, I was not very intrigued with the idea. The idea of showing up to a reunion with people I hadn't seen in eons without anybody to keep me company was a little daunting.

Nonetheless, after talking with a good friend, I was convinced to go. I set out by myself headed to the reunion expecting the unexpected. I was pleasantly surprised to find that there were tons of people with whom I'd forgotten about. I also discovered that we did actually have a bond with one another. I simply forgot about it as I moved on through adulthood. I managed to rekindle a few friendships as we reminisced about old times.

At the end of the night we all ventured off to a local lounge. Now this is where the expected becomes really unexpected...We managed to take over the entire place. In every corner there was someone from my high school sitting and laughing about old times. As I moved my way through the crowd I found a comfy spot next to an old friend and her brother. While I was waiting for my drink this VERY tall, very well spoken, very handsome dude caught my eye. He immediately pushed his way over to me and introduced himself. What was funny about him was that with all of his brawn and his suave Mack Daddy vibe, he was actually drinking a Shirley Temple! Not what you would expect for a tall, handsome brother like him. When he introduced himself I greeted him, and he immediately said...are you ready for this..."You're not from around here are you?" I let out a loud laugh. "And neither are you" I said to him. He gave me a flirtatious grin and quietly let me know that he was indeed NOT from around there. He was actually from the West Coast. A Cali boy to be exact. By the time the introductions were done, he had asked the waitress for a beer. A few minutes into the conversation I realized that I had finished my beer, and he had still not taken a sip of his. "This dude obviously doesn't drink, " I thought to myself. I called him out on his fake macho vibe and he let his guard down. "No. I don't drink," he said to me. "I just didn't want to look like a punk when I was talking to you". What?! Is this dude serious? I went to one of the top party schools on the East Coast, and he drinks Shirley Temples for a living...WOW

I couldn't figure out whether or not it was lame that he tried to trick me into thinking he was super macho, or whether it was cute that he thought enough to even try and impress me. He was laid back, loved surfing, but he was a Captain in the Army. Weird combo as far as I was concerned. I went back and forth with the issue over and over again...then I married him 2 years later. To this day I can still drink him under the table, and he still tries to impress me with his macho vibe. And I've learned to not take life so seriously. I spent years and years trying to figure out where I belonged instead of simply enjoying where I am. Instead of being confused about two distinct lifestyles, I embrace them. A Southern Fried Yankee...I'll take that. As long as I have my Surfer Boy Soldier by my side.
Happy Anniversary Baby. 2 years and counting!

Maintain your inner Diva all year long

2010-09-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

Between husbands, kids, dogs and other household fiascos, it's very easy for any woman to lose her mind. I probably have at least 10 internal temper tantrums per week. But of course I would never admit that to my husband or my son.

My No. 1 rule to maintaining diva status in the home is to never let them see you sweat. My husband and my son think I'm a mind reader and that I can recreate Rome in a day. They will never know how many times I feel overwhelmed, or just need a little more help.

My No. 2 rule is to cut yourself some slack! There are some days when you just have to say goodbye to the pearls and stilettos — and hello to a baseball cap and tennis shoes.

My No. 3 rule is to spoil yourself every once in a while. As women, we spend so much time taking care of everyone else that we sometimes take ourselves for granted. Every woman needs a spa day, a new pair of pumps or lunch with the girls during the week. If you manage your finances wisely and maintain frugal shopping habits, you can afford a little treat every now and then without breaking the bank.

My No. 4 rule is to not take everything so seriously. We all want to be perfect wives, mothers, sisters, but in reality no one woman is going to be perfect every single day. Sometimes you have to know which battles to choose. It will not be the end of the world if your kid does not have a dozen homemade cupcakes for his class party. There are some days when you just need a break. No one is going to scrutinize you for being human. Love yourself, love your life and allow yourself to make mistakes.

The first time hurts: A look back at my first blog post.

2010-09-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

The SITS girls have done it again. They have created another challenging but fun blogging event titled to Get Back to Blogging & Jump Start Your Blog event as a way to give all of in the blogosphere a jump start. Starting today, the ladies will announce a new writing topic each day. After completing the topic of the day, all of the ladies will go back to the main page and link their posts. Its a great way to connect and see how far we've all come in our blogging endeavors.

The event is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances and participants all have the chance to win an Electrolux Washer & Dryer, valued at over $ 4,000. I am keeping my fingers crossed in hopes to win the beautiful prize!

Today's topic was to upload your very first blog post. The ladies at SITS gave the option on whether or not we wanted to re-write the post, or simply leave it as is. I decided not to re-write my post, and simply deliver the raw uncut version. Here ya go....

12.09.2008
The first time always hurts just a little...

I wanted my first entry on my new blog to be something extremely fantastic. I wanted it to blow everyone’s minds, and send them running in a frenzy wishing they could read more. But as it turns out, my blog is just a blog. Not anything fantastic or mind-blowing. Not anything that will change anyone’s life. Simply a release of energy in 12 pt. type. No biggie.

I realized that I was making such a big deal out of it before I even began. I started and stopped so many times that I could not even keep count. I wrote rough drafts of blog entries I thought would be a good starting point, then erased them or spent countless hours editing. But that is not me at all. I like to deliver from the heart. Once I start to become completely obsessed about editing and delivering, I have lost a little bit of my “super-powers”.

Writing is different for everyone. Some do it strictly for the dough; others do it because it makes them feel good; and some do it because they think its “trendy”. You don’t know how many people I have seen who have called themselves Writers and Poets because they felt the need to prove to the world how “Intellectual” they are (ha!). You don’t get into something in an effort to perpetrate the fraud and take on something that will increase your popularity or stroke your precious ego. That is strictly an insult to people who truly love the art form. I have always loved to write. Now whether it was good or not is yet to be determined. But nonetheless, I stuck with it anyway in hopes in seeing personal growth. All the while, I had a strong sense of respect for those who were accomplished, accredited writers. I tried to soak up every little bit of knowledge and advice I could get from them. I never had the desire to write because I wanted to be “trendy” or be praised. I am just a girl with something to say. And I hope someone will listen-maybe even take something away from all of this.

I have no set format for my blogging. There are some days when I feel like being serious, and others when I just feel downright silly. Other days, I just need something constructive to do. I won’t promise my readers (if I have any) to find some life-altering changes or keys to success. I never know how I will feel from one day to the next. That’s the beauty of writing from the heart. I simply want to share. And right now, I am writing faster than I can post-which is GREAT! I can’t say that I won’t ever obsess about the contents of my blog, or whether or not people are reading it. I can’t even promise that everything I write will be any good. But I will promise that I will remain true to myself and continue to cultivate my craft.

Dear Summer

2010-09-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

Dear summer,
I’m sure going to miss you. Even though I knew you wouldn’t be here long, my heart couldn’t help but get attached. I will miss your flirtatious ways, and tempting vibe. And I long for our days poolside in the sun. Though we had some good times, I know its time to let you go. For some reason I tend to let you in my life, temp me for a few months, and then leave me out in the cold. I promised myself I wouldn’t go in too deep, but when have I ever been able to resist you?

You came this year and rescued me from the itchy sweaters and the cold nights by the fire. Soon thereafter it was me and you…sitting on the deck with a glass of wine, taking long walks late at night, and of course our most precious memories-our days by the pool. That was where we bonded the most, just me and you blocking everyone out. MP3 player on, a Corona in my hand, and straw hat to cover my eyes. Never mind the kids jumping in the pool, or the cell phone ringing in the background. We had bigger fish to fry. We were on a mission to connect. We were on a boat ride to solitude, saying goodbye to tension, and passing by regret. We had places to go and memories to make when we got there. Me and you were like peas and carrots.

But yesterday you told me you were leaving. I knew it was coming soon, but my fragile heart was in denial. It seems like just yesterday you were there when I tried on my new bathing suit. I can’t believe its time for you to go yet again. Every year I try to make you stay a little longer, but this year I must say has been the worst. I feel like a lost puppy as I say goodbye to you. You see, this summer was different. Our bond grew stronger this year. Not only did we have fun, but we tackled some big issues as well. I will never forget how you held my hand as I cried and searched for answers. And I will never forget that we started the season out with the best margaritas I’ve ever had!

You see Dear summer, it’s hard to forget you. I think the boys will miss you too. We’ve all gotten used to you and we love the fun you bring. We’ll have to get used to heavy coats and indoor games. I’m giving you my white Capri pants and my white wedge heeled sandals. I hope you take care of them, and bring them back in good condition. I hope next year is just as fun, except without the sunburn and the peeling skin. In the meantime I’ll be here watching the clock and waiting for your next trip home.

My 6 word memoir

2010-09-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

So, one of my LinkedIn group members from ‘Writing Mafia’ posed a question to the group: Try and sum up your life in only 6 words. Of course I thought he was bananas at first, but when I thought about it for a second I realized that life really isn’t all that complicated. We as human beings make it that complicated and create tons and tons of new work for ourselves every day. When you really think about it, most people are pretty predictable. No matter what your outward personality suggests, one thing rings true for all of us-we ALL crave human contact in some form or another. A large part of me wishes I didn’t crave that aspect of life so much, but I do. But even a people pleaser like myself still needs some downtime. I have learned in life that being a people pleaser pretty much guarantees that you will be burned out 80% of the time that you walk this earth. Thankfully for me, the advent of text messaging and Smart phones have allowed me to distance myself enough to reclaim time for myself.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is my cousin Alex. Alex would prefer to engage in the least amount of human contact as possible. But even for that cynical techie who is extremely annoyed by dumb questions and sentimental overtures, a small amount of human contact is still necessary. Periodically Alex will engage in small talk at a local Starbucks for an hour or so, or until the ditzy blonde sitting next to him pisses him off with a dumb question.

I’ve learned not to take myself too seriously. Of course it took me about 30 years to learn that, but hey I like to stop and smell the roses along the way. My life has been plagued with cooky scenarios that make me feel like someone is playing a cruel joke on me. Every possible stroke of bad luck has presented itself to me and attempted to destroy any plan I have ever put together. I have learned not to look at that as a bad thing. Instead of crying over spilled milk, I learned to be resourceful. What I learned whenever drama presented itself is that my life story is ten times more interesting because I have always taken a non-traditional path to success. I have gotten REALLY good at picking up the pieces and starting over.

Once I freed myself of my compulsive worrying and over-analyzing-"or did I actually free myself? Should I have freed myself? Maybe I shouldn’t...It’s probably too late...No, I think I still have time"-everything I did thereafter was a walk in the park. Life became as simple as the directions on a shampoo bottle-Wash, Rinse, Repeat. No matter what scenario you are faced with, once you learn your own strategy to life, you are home free.

So, after 30 years of obsessive compulsive behavior-Wow, 30 years?!...Maybe it wasn’t quite that long...Well, maybe it was...Have I destroyed all my chances of...Okay, I realize I have a tendency to be too hard on myself. But the beauty about life is that every day you wake up you are presented with a new opportunity to change your story. So, my 6 word memoir is ‘Are you Serious? You Can’t Be!' That's the whole story of my life, and the interesting path I’ve taken. The beginning of the story may change a little bit, but the ending is always the same. As long as I’m in the Driver’s Seat, nothing else really matters.

My Shutterfly experience

2010-08-27T05:26:00.000-07:00

I got my very first camera when I was 9. I will never forget it-it was a blue and yellow Fisher Price camera. I guarded that camera with my life. It was my new best friend. Days after I got it, I was begging my mom to go back to the drug store for more film. A couple of months ago I was looking through some old photos and found pictures that I had taken with that camera. It immediately took me back to my childhood. Its amazing how a photograph can connect your soul to memories of the past.

Today things are a little more modern. I now sport a digital camera, taking pictures of every flower, bridge, and birthday cake that I can. My family calls me "Ms Paparrazi". They joke about it, but they know they can count on me to preserve our family memories. When I graduated from college I used Shutterfly, an online photo sharing website to store all of my photos from the big day. It was one of the best things I could do in order to share the memories with my family and friends that could not attend. I used the photos I uploaded to make Thank You cards with a picture from the Graduation album. Everyone loved them! When my husband and I got engaged, I used a photo from one of our first dates and uploaded it to Shutterfly to make personalized Save the Date cards. I thought it was cute that all my relatives had our picture hanging up on their fridge!

Today I still use Shutterfly to connect with my in-laws on the West Coast. Its such an easy way to allow people to stay connected, and I love the fact that you can use your online photo albums to make cards and gifts. Its perfect for family Christmas cards and Birthday party invitations.

A picture says a thousand words. And for me and my family, capturing those words from moments from our past mean the world to us. I'm glad to have Shutterfly at my fingertips to enhance my creative moments.

*The good folks at Shutterfly have offered free promo codes to Mom Bloggers. I would love to share their gifts with you, so leave me a comment on what your favorite Shutterfly photo gift would be. I will randomly choose one winner to receive a Promo code for 10 free 5x7 flat stationery cards!

To enhance your photo sharing experience visit www.shutterfly.com, and visit Shutterfly on Facebook and Twitter.

Back to School Blues

2010-08-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

I think I’m worse than the kids when it comes to going back to school. Though I will be extremely happy not to hear, “Can I…Will you…Please…Can I” every 5minutes, I am also pretty anxiety ridden and afraid I’ll hear a bunch of “Mrs. B, your son…Mrs. B, we had an incident today”. Middle school has been pretty horrendous for us so far, so I’m praying that this year goes a lot smoother than last year. If not, I’m in danger of losing my mind.

I’m sure that every parent would love to think that their child is a perfect angel 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but my mother taught me to be realistic…I am not in denial and thinking that my child is the most innocent creature on earth. After all, not every child can be as perfect as I was when I was growing up ;-)
But is it so much to ask that they not get in trouble so much that all the guidance counselors at their school know your name, rank, and serial number. I have become a local celebrity at my son’s school. I can hear the teachers now, “Hey, there’s that lady…You know, the one who writes that column for the magazine about relationships and parenting…Yeah, the one whose son gets written up every week”. For the love of God, can we just get through more than a week without any phone calls or emails? And at some point I would love to show up at the school NOT wearing large dark sunglasses and a baseball cap. I would also love to be able to park up front instead of down the street behind the building because I’m embarrassed to seen more than once a week. I’ve even thought about applying for a teaching position at my son’s school. Not that I think it will completely alleviate any problems that may occur, but just so I don’t have to come up with an explanation for why I’m at his school every day.

Don’t get me wrong, my son is not a complete demon. He has his good days too. I look forward to the days when the teachers call to let me know that he was especially nice to the new kid today, or that he got extra credit for turning in assignments that aren’t mandatory. And the greatest feeling in the world was the time his teacher called to tell me that he had gotten an A in his toughest subject-Math. Funny thing is that he has this sort of charm that convinces his teachers not to stay mad at him. In fact, there have been a few instances where they have tried to cover for him when he’s in trouble. Of course I saw right through them ‘cuz I know my son, but I thought it was cute that they even put forth the effort to try and save him. It really shows that they care. Its funny people say that some of the smartest kids constantly get in trouble in school out of boredom and lack of a challenge. I have seen weeks where he has gotten in trouble every day but still made honor roll. So what I’ve figured out is that he needs a challenge. He needs to constantly stretch his brain muscles. So little by little, I give him a few more challenging activities like reading, story writing, and at home science experiments. He gets so engrossed in the process of creating something that he is eager to focus on his schoolwork and get it done early so he sit and think of what his next project will be. At first it killed him because it cut into his television time, but as time went on he enjoyed it a lot more and felt proud of himself for his new accomplishments.

It’s hard to create a healthy balance between learning and fun. While I want my kids to be as happy as possible and have fun throughout their life, I also want to make sure that I’m doing my part to prepare them for the world to come. A kid that values learning will grow up to be an adult who values learning, then passes it on to their own children. No kid ever died from their parents making them read or from getting a couple of extra credit assignments done. And no parent ever died from putting forth a little more effort and making sure that their kids stay challenged and stay on top of the current learning environment. In fact I think it has created a stronger bond between us. So in the spirit of learning, I embark upon a new year and welcome the challenges ahead. Who knows what life will bring for us, but 8th grade here we come!

Here's a clip of one of the greatest back to school commercial ever!

Lying, Tiger, and Jesse-Oh My!

2010-08-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

2010 has been a bed full of adultery for celebs. Over and over we saw celebs publicly dealing with accusations of adultery and fornication. While adultery is not necessarily a new trend in Hollywood, it seems that the media has managed to tap into the business of making these scandalous affairs mainstream. Photographers and Journalists go out and find the dirt and Social Media enthusiasts make sure that everyone knows about it. Years ago it was considered only hearsay when we heard that celebs were cheating. We usually never knew that a celeb was cheating until someone died and left their fortune to their mistress or pool boy. But today there is TMZ, Radar Online, and a million others in between who offer instant gratification for those of us who enjoy juicy gossip. Unfortunately, on the other end of that juicy gossip is someone who is hurting by the actions of their loved one.

Many people were shocked early on in the year when the Tiger Woods scandal broke. I wasn’t very surprised though; in fact I always suspected that he was possibly cheating on his wife. His personality suggests that he is in fact very full of himself. And people who are full of themselves usually seek out gratification and ego boosts. Then there’s Jesse James; the biker bad boy with sleeves of tattoo art. After marrying America’s Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock, the media painted him as this perfect Prince Charming who came to rescue Sandra and heal her broken heart. Well Jesse was not Prince Charming; he was just a man. Regular men make mistakes just like every other regular person on earth. Being married to Sandra Bullock does not give him any type of super human powers that make him exempt from indiscretion. All it does is ensure that his indiscretions become public knowledge.

But men aren’t the only ones who cheat. The latest celeb to be involved in a cheating scandal is American Idol winner Fantasia Barino. The award winning R&B singer made headlines when her affair with a married man became public. Unfortunately for Barino there is no hell equivalent to a woman scorned. Barino is now being sued by the wife of her married boyfriend. Although Barino has insisted that her boyfriend told her that he was legally separated when they met, the drama got so tumultuous that Barino actually attempted suicide because she wanted to escape all the mess.

While chat rooms and coffee shops all over the place are flaming Fantasia for her involvement with a married man, these same people sit around and praise Angelina Jolie; forgetting about her questionable involvement with a once married man. Many have turned a blind eye to the romance of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, forgetting that when their romance first started to blossom, Brad was still married to Jennifer Anniston. Although Jolie has never come out and admitted that she “stole” Brad from Anniston, we can all connect the dots. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened. To make matters worse, the infamous Jolie/Pitt ‘W Magazine’ spread was like pouring salt into an open wound. Jolie and Pitt posed for the magazine and were portrayed as this picture perfect family out of the 1960’s. Today they travel the world getting photographed as the picture perfect family of the new millennium. Just because they have a dozen cute little kids following behind them doesn’t mean we should forget how these two got together. I will still love a good Angelina Jolie flick, and I will still love a good Tiger Woods golf tournament, but I will take it with a grain of salt. Celebrities are just like “normal” people. They make mistakes just like everyone does. And because they live this glamorous lifestyle where they are put up on a pedestal every day, many of them feel entitled to get any and everything they want, regardless of who it hurts. Others have such low self esteem that they crave the attention and the reassurance they get from others around them. Their intrinsic need for acceptance is usually the main driving force behind their venture into show business. We can’t expect that just because a person has made a life for themselves in the public eye that they will receive a prize for dignity and moral standards. Marriage in this country has become a ‘has been’, and the rates for divorce are sickening. It comes as no surprise that celebrities who feel they are exempt from the rules will lie and cheat to get what they want.

I can only wonder what the celebs involved in these scandals think about their image in the public eye. Do they sincerely feel that they owe their fans an apology, or do they simply oblige and give an insincere apology just to get the media off their back? After the public apologies usually come more praise from their fans and more camera time. So for the well connected celebrity, a scandal is not a setback. It’s more like an opportunity to get free press. These days people don’t have to make a change after their indiscretions; all they have to do is issue a statement from their publicist, then do a stint in rehab. Whoever is hurt in the process is just a part of the territory. All is fair in Love and War…Yeah, right!

Check out John Legend's 'She Don't Have to know'

Fit for life: 5 Lessons every kid should know

2010-08-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

Becoming a parent is never as easy as it looks on TV. Every mainstream TV sitcom always shows the image of the perfect family living a picture perfect life. But in reality there are tons of questions, issues, and concerns that all parents have to deal with. The good thing is, if you teach your kids at an early age the essential rules for life, you can enjoy a headache free retirement.

Five lessons every kid show know:

1-Always treat your friends and family with respect-Showing appreciation for friends and family can bring you a lifetime of good fortune. Establishing good relationships early on will guarantee that kids have a supportive family network later on in life.

2-The 4 food groups ARE important-I learned this the hard way. Because I was so adamant about not drinking milk as a kid, I find myself a little less healthy than some of my peers. A healthy person has a better chance at being a successful person.

3-Stand up for yourself-"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything". Teach your kids early on about keeping their sense of morality in any situation.

4-When in doubt, believe in Faith-Some of life's greatest blessings are given when we are doubtful about everything around us. Many of life's greatest momenta are achieved because we had the Faith to go out on a limb.

5-Learn how to do fractions-I hated fractions, just like a lot of people. For the life of me I could not see why I needed to fractions to become a lawyer, a dancer, or a writer. But take my word for it, I guarantee you they will come up later on in life!

“I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Nanny McPhee Returns blogging program, making me eligible to get a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.” (make sure to link to: http://nannymcphee.twittermoms.com/about)

Just another day at the office...Jet Blue employee goes mad

2010-08-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

Jet Blue employee Steven Slater had a very eventful day at the office. While working on a flight on a Jet Blue plane at Kennedy airport in NY, Slater got into a heated exchange of words with a passenger that accidentally hit him in the head with his luggage. He cursed at the passenger, then got on the microphone and blasted the passenger so everyone else could hear him.

After making his announcement, Slater grabbed 2 beers from the galley and jumped out of the emergency exit. He's charged with criminal mischief, reckless endangerment and trespassing. Since making the front page of several New York newspapers, Slater has since received tons of encouraging messages on his FB page.

Neighbors say that he is stressed out b/c he is caring for his mother who has been diagnosed with terminal Cancer. This is exactly where the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) should have come into play. Though I am not familiar with Mr. Slater’s situation, nor Jet Blue’s policies, it seems that people like Mr. Slater should be given the option of taking time off to care for a loved one, instead of staying at work and going all “Kanye” on his passengers.

Caring for a loved one with a terminal illness can be an emotional nightmare. It also presents a financial strain on the family. I can’t help but wonder what Slater is going to do now without the financial cushion of his job at Jet Blue. Perhaps a cameo on Jersey Shore and a face off with Snooki….

Have a Steven Slater moment of your own to share? I'd love to hear from you!

With a mouth like Whoopi...

2010-08-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

We all know that going on The View is like being on the front lines of the Irag war. If you can’t stand the heat, get the $^*@ out of the kitchen. It is no secret that anyone who goes on The View has to have skin as tough as an alligator. Well, the ladies of The View voiced their strong opinions once again on Wednesday’s episode of The View when they interviewed Bravo’s Real Housewives of DC cast mates. Though the show doesn’t air until tonight, the highly anticipated show has already received its fair share of press due to the ever so controversial Michaele Salahi. Salahi made headlines earlier this year when she and her husband were involved in the infamous White House crashers scandal. Though the show features 5 women, much of the press has been surrounded by Salahi and her husband’s controversial escapades.

On Wednesday’s episode of The View, the ladies addressed some of their disdain for the extreme amount of coverage surrounding the State Dinner controversy. It was no surprise to hear that most of the women on the cast of the Real Housewives of DC do not care for Salahi, and are ready for her 15 minutes of fame to be over with. Cast member Mary Schmidt Amons expressed that she was “Tired of hearing this and talking about it” when questioned about the incident, while Lynda Erkiletian suggested that Salahi and her husband live a “phony and fake Bonnie and Clyde life”. As the cast members tried to steer away from the “crashing incident” the ladies of The View were relentless in the quest to get to the bottom of it. In the midst of Sherri and Joy’s interview, the every so blunt Whoopi Goldberg walked on the set from back stage, touched Mrs. Salahi from behind and whispered, “Can you please get back to the White House incident”. Being a regular View watcher, Whoopi’s actions did not surprise me at all. This was definitely not the first time I have seen Whoopi interrupt a segment. However, Mrs. Salahi apparently found it very disturbing and was shocked at Whoopi’s actions. After the incident Mrs. Salahi expressed that she was upset and burst into tears accusing Goldberg of hitting her from behind. Never one to back down from a good bar fight, Goldberg immediately became enraged at the accusations. Needless to say, the backstage conversation was filled with tons of $%&@ and #%^^, and led to yet another media frenzy surrounding the Salahis.

While Micaele Salahi insists that she is very offended by the media’s determination to paint her as a party crasher, she insists on bringing a media circus with her everywhere she goes. She insists that she and her husband were invited to the State Dinner and would never do anything as unethical as crash the White House. Most of the media coverage will in fact insist that she and her husband were wrong in showing up to the White House and “sneaking in”. The past year has been filled with a “He said, She said” soup of allegations. My personal take is that this is probably not the first time someone has sneaked into a political event at The White House or elsewhere. The only difference is that this may be the first time that someone did it with a camera crew from a major network following their every step. I personally do not have concrete evidence that Salahi is a party crasher, but I do have evidence that Salahi is definitely a fame whore and a drama queen. Once you open up your doors to a camera crew all is fare in love and war. I do not buy Salahi’s over dramatized sulking and attempts to “get over” the White House incident. If that were the case, perhaps Salahi would not be attempting to auction off her infamous red Sari that she wore to the dinner. It is my belief that as the Salahi’s lifestyle of fame and fortune started to go downhill they did as any other shallow fame whore would do-they pulled out the big guns. For Michaele and Tariq Salahi having their every move filmed and seeing themselves appear in countless news articles feeds their inner demons. I only hope that they get what they’re looking for and be careful of what they ask. The lifestyles of the rich and famous can be a beast.

What are your thoughts on the Whoopi/Salahi controversy? See their sides of the story below.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38576262/ns/today-entertainment/ ~Michaele tells her side

http://theview.abc.go.com/ ~Whoopi tells her side

The state of the the union: Marriage and money

2010-08-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Most American girls have the same dream of finding their Prince Charming, getting married, having children, and living happily ever after. A woman's wedding is usually the happiest day of her life. In that moment, everything will seem perfect for her: the dress, the flowers, the presents, and everyone gushing all over here like she is a Princess. What most people don't tell us is that the marriage is usually nothing like the wedding. While the wedding day is filled with bells and whistles, the marriage is usually filled with dirty laundry, sick kids, and mounds and mounds of debt. Americans have begun to live way outside of their means, and most of us are only a paycheck away from being homeless.

With the increased exposure of Reality TV stars, the emphasis on money, glitz, and glam is silently ruining our children's futures. My opinion is that the use of the word 'reality' is in fact a pun on words. Though there are cameras there constantly filming their every move, most of the time there is nothing real about it at all. People are naturally inclined to be more aware of their actions when a camera is stuck in their face. Its Psychology 101-the easiest predictor of human character.

To say that money is the root of all evil is probably an understatement. Instead the phrase should read “Money is the root of all evil, the backdoor to hell, and the sliding board to disgust”. Money is the #1 issue in which most married couples argue. Perhaps the coverage of money issues is the only thing real about Reality TV. We have watched couples from most of the Real Housewives franchises argue and fall apart because of money. We’ve seen Tamra, Lynn, Jeana, Teresa, Danielle, Lisa, Nene, and Sheree all battle their financial woes. The Real Housewives of DC’s Michaele (one half of the infamous White House dinner crashers) and her husband are reported to be in debt up to their eyeballs. I’m assuming that as the show airs more of their financial battles will be made public.

Leave it to these women to try and convince everyone that their perfect little lives are filled with champagne brunch, caviar facials, and waterfalls that spout out gold coins by the hour. Unfortunately for them, they all eventually get exposed and a bit of reality finally emerges and rises to the surface. The truth is that many of these women live way above their means and amass a tremendous amount of debt trying to convince the world that they are royalty. In a few instances we have seen how this issue has the potential to ruin a marriage. Real Housewives of OC’s Lynn Curtain almost left her husband due to his dishonesty about their finances. When Lynn was served with eviction papers and realized that she may not be able to indulge in weekly Botox parties with her “friends” she panicked.

I am very curious to know what goes on behind closed doors with the other housewives who face financial peril. While no one wants to live their life in a cardboard box running from creditors, you have to wonder how strong these marriages are if they fall apart at the first sign of financial trouble. You also have to wonder at what point do both parties in the marriage decide to take responsibility for the downfall. I sincerely hope that the viewers of Reality TV do not adopt the same principles as our shallow TV stars. A few more decades of their superficial financially motivated partnerships and the healthy existence of marriage will absolutely be a rarity.

Tales from the sick bed: 5 Things I’ve learned while laying in bed

2010-07-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

1-I can only watch re-runs of Real Housewives of NJ but so many times. After the 5th episode I start to hear Mafia music in the background as I plan my vengeance against my neighbors with my dog Grandpa Fluffy.

2-Some people will not exactly embrace a phone call from a friend while she is sick in bed. I am still trying to convince some people that it was not a man who prank called them from my phone.

3-There is a tiny space on the ceiling of bedroom where there is only one coat of paint. I can see shades of orange peeking through my now subtle beige paint color.

4-My Grandmother does not give a damn whether or not I am sick. She will still call to boss me around at any hour that she pleases.

5-Snooki from the Jersey Shore really does look like an orange Oompa Loompa.

Girl Power

2010-07-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Being a Superwoman is not always easy. Some days I am able to perform my miracles effortlessly; other days I can't even figure out how to put my cape on straight. There are some days when my hair is flat, my polish is chipped, and the biscuits are just a tad overdone. The silver lining in all of it is that I have a supportive network of women to help me get back on track. It usually starts with a distressed phone call, followed by a round of margaritas, some laughs, a few curse words, then back home to iron my cape for the next day.

I have to say that I am luckier than most women. My Mom is my absolute best friend. She tells the greatest jokes, listens to me whine, and in the worst case scenario she can run really fast in a pair of high heels (those of you who don't know how important that last skill is obviously haven't spent a night out with me and my mom, but I digress...). Whenever I'm going through a rough time I can always count on her to make me feel better. She gives great advice, and doesn't pressure me about having babies every day (just once a week for her). She's also a very savy businesswoman. Watching her in action is like getting the greatest education ever. And for me its free! How cool is that?!

The only downfall to all of this is that striving to be as great as my mom is a really tough job. She's such an incredible woman, and I strive to be just like her. I can remember when I was a little girl I would watch her getting dressed for work every morning, and she always looked incredible. She had this inner confidence that just made everyone stop dead in their tracks. Living up to her is tough job. Luckily for me my mother also taught me that a woman's greatest glory lies inside of her. Sure my mom is fantastic, and sure I've always wanted to be just like her, but I will never be her. I'll only be myself. And being myself is pretty doggone great too! There is nothing worse than a beautiful woman with low self esteem. We all have unique traits and desires that make us who we are. So even though we look, talk, and dress similar, our goals and dreams are quite different. Our differences are what make us such a great match. As women we all have many layers, and sharing those layers is the very thing that makes being a woman so much fun. I love the fact that all my girlfriends are totally different. We can all learn from another, and take bits and pieces with us along for the ride. So every night before I go to sleep, I say my prayers and thank God for such a wonderful circle. Life would be pretty dull without my Sister circle.

Mr. Mom-The Rise of Single Parent Dads

2010-07-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

It used to be the norm to see the average American family consist of a Dad who went to work every day and paid the bills, and a Mom who stayed at home and took care of the kids. Unfortunately, as time has progressed fewer of these cookie cutter families exist. Surprisingly, the divorce rates in the US are actually declining. However, the fact still remains that many are waiting to get married at a later age than they did decades ago. But just because people are getting married later on in life doesn’t necessarily mean that they are waiting to have children later on in life. About 40% of children in the US are born out of wedlock. So it should come as no surprise to point out that many children in the US are now being raised by their fathers instead of their mothers. In fact, in many situations, women are voluntarily giving up custody of their children and giving custody to the fathers. Decades ago it may have been hard to imagine that men would be taking over the role of single parenthood; but with more women working outside the home or continuing their education at a later age, single parent dads are starting to become the norm.

It’s refreshing to see that not only are men taking a more active role in raising their kids, but they are also sending a message to their sons that raising children is not just “women’s work”. Men are turning to their support systems-family members, church members, online parenting groups-to ensure that their kids are living full, well balanced lives. The Caveman-Bring Home the Bacon days are gone, and today’s men are now volunteering to car pool and holding Girl Scout meetings. But of course with every great progression comes a heap of criticism. Many are complaining that men are receiving accolades for something that women have been doing alone for centuries. They feel that men should not be put on a pedestal for stepping up and taking on the responsibility of raising children. I do think that we need to take into account that women are born with a natural propensity to nurture. But does that change anything? Does that mean that men are going “beyond the call of duty” when they take on single parenthood? What are your thoughts?

Your Guide to Amazing Summer Hair

2010-06-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

Summer is here, and Divas everywhere are ready to hit the outdoors and soak up some rays. Although many women may feel that they should be focused on finding the perfect swimsuit or the perfect sandals, it’s very important to also make sure that your hair care routine is not an afterthought. Hair is more vulnerable to damage during the summer, and with the majority of our summer activities being held outdoors, it is important that we take care of our tresses. Just as you would protect your skin with sunscreen, protecting your hair is equally important. Here are some tips from the pros to make your summer hair care routine less stressful.

Switch up your routine-Instead of blow drying your hair, let it air dry. Because hair is exposed to heat and UV Rays more often in the summertime, minimizing the amount of heat applied to your hair follicles is important for maintaining healthy hair. Trying a new style like wearing your hair pinned up or in a loose ponytail will help manage frizzy hair and minimize stress on your hair in hot summer heat. And don’t be afraid of getting too close to those scissors. Getting your ends trimmed on a regular basis is a good way to manage damaged, split ends. Apply a leave in conditioner or use a frizz control serum for a smooth, polished look.

Vitamins and Supplements-“Feeding” your hair is an important part of keeping your hair looking and feeling healthy. Because so many of us are constantly on the go during the summer, eating a proper balanced meal is not always an option. Experts suggest taking supplements to make sure you give your hair the proper vitamins and minerals it needs to grow. Drink plenty of water, and make an effort to try products that are all natural. There are some great hair serums that make your hair look beautiful and shiny, but many of them contain silicone or other chemicals that can leave your hair looking dull and lifeless over long periods of time.

Extra protection-Exposing your hair to chlorine or salt water can shock your hair and cause damage. Take a tip from the ladies of the 1930’s and 1940’s by wearing a swim cap. While it may take a little getting used to at first, you can still find a way to protect your hair and be stylish at the same time. Also, if you expect to be spending an entire day outside, try a large brimmed sun hat or stylish scarf.

Using a deep conditioner, jojoba oil, and even sunscreen can help keep your hair from frying in the summer heat. If you notice that your hair is getting frizzier throughout the summer, it is usually a sign that your hair is being damaged by the sun. Use a gentle shampoo, and rinse with cool or lukewarm water in order to seal the hair cuticles.

For more info on how you can keep your hair healthy and manageable during the summer months visit www.frontrowstyles.com