My online Journal

My Time

2010-11-07T21:41:00.001-06:00

I know You're moving, Lord

but it's been so long since I felt it.

I know You have a plan,

but right now I just can't see it.

but before I was born

you knew me and

called me yours

Is this my time?

Time o step out in faith

Time to change the course of events?

If not, Lord, stop me now.

This hesitation in my soul

is either wisdom from you

or my own foolish fear;

give me strength to follow through

My spirit is willing, lord

but my flesh is so weak;

Is this my time?

Time to step out in faith

Time to change the course of events?

If not, Lord stop me now!

'cause you set your plan in place

and perhaps you made me

for such a time as this

This is my time

Time to step out in faith

Time to change the course of events

If not, Lord, stop me now.

Your Love is Strong

2010-07-22T17:05:00.001-05:00

By Jon Forman

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Chorus (3x):
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

(Chorus 3x)

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prison

Let Your Mercy Fall

2010-06-29T07:50:00.003-05:00

by Matthew Kingsley

When I think of What you've done
I think back to where I've been
Lost and drowning
Selfish and Proud
Still you Rescued me
You set me on Solid ground

Let Your mercy fall on me
May Your grace now wash me clean
Let Your Love ever be
Beckoning my soul to Thee

Jesus, Savior, Lamb of God
How can I now comprehend
how high and deep,
tall and wide
Is your love for me?
Help me understand that love.

Let Your mercy Fall on me
May Your Grace now wash me clean
Let Your Love ever be
Beckoning my soul to Thee

Spirit, may I ever be
Shaped and molded like the One:
Holy, blameless
Faithful and True.
Shine Your face on me
Till my work on earth is done

Let your mercy Reign in me
May your grace be clearly seen
Let your love ever be
testimony seen in me.

Run To You

2010-06-09T10:30:00.002-05:00

by Third Day

I was tired of waiting
Playing all the games and
Living in a place that was not for me
So I thought it was time
For me to get what's mine
And to do it all, everything I dreamed
What I thought was the best of me turned to be
All the worst I could find

If I run to you
Will you hold me in your arms forevermore
If I run to you
Will you hold me in your arms forevermore

Now I got a feeling
That I've got to leave and
Find a way back to where I came from
Though I don't deserve it
I know it's unheard but
Living here without you, my life is done
I confess that I shouldn't have run from you
Now I know I was wrong

Nowhere to run to
And no one to turn to
I'm dying out here on my own
Long before I even thought of returning
Your arms are wide open
Waiting for me to come home

Shifting Sand

2010-04-02T10:07:00.001-05:00

by Caedmon's Call

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear, it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith
Then I'd be secure

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace, stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
Slithering staff, a leprous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace, stand on grace

Let Love Grow

2009-12-21T10:34:00.000-06:00

by Paul Coleman Trio

You know that you're such a lonely child
Did you ever let me know?
You say our love was an oversight
And now that you're gone you can grow

And there you go

Love is emotion and wanderlust
And feelings too deep for a song
But love is decision and sacrifice
And without them love can't go on

But there you go
There you go

Bring back the flowers of spring in this heart
Heal up the wounds that have torn us apart
Fall like the rain in the midst of a drought
And wherever you go

Let love grow

Time to pick up these pieces and start again
And draw a new map of the world
The regeneration of all of creation
Begins with a soul that will turn

So here I go
Here we go

Where should I Go?

2009-10-14T20:59:00.001-05:00

by the W's

I don't know where I should go
Around the corner or through the door
Some days, some how, some way, it just won't show
To the top and down again or all the way back home
Where oh where should I go?

So the time has come for me to think about
How it's gonna be this time next week
Should I care or should I stare at the wall in front of me?
Let it stop, or let me see

Which way to go, how will I know, I don't think this is the way
No words to use, no one should know, just exactly what to say
All I know is I don't want to stay where I'm at today
Where oh where should I go?

I don't seem to know where I should really go
Some days, some how, some way, just won't show
To the top and down again or all the way back home
Where oh where should I go?

Which way to go, how will I know, I don't think this is the way
No words to use, no one should know, just exactly what to say
All I know is I don't want to stay where I'm at today
Where oh where should I go?

Which way to go, how will I know, I don't think this is the way
No words to use, no one should know, just exactly what to say
All I know is I don't want to stay where I'm at today
Where oh where...

Which way to go, how will I know, I don't think this is the way
No words to use, no one should know, just exactly what to say
All I know is I don't want to stay where I'm at today
Where oh where...
Should I go?

Start Again

2009-09-26T17:06:00.001-05:00

Caedmon's Call

I have a constant need for motion
I need to leave the past behind
to see all the good things I left dying
come to life
for so long I let the lies deceive me
and I let them take their toll
but I’m growing tired of the illusion
I am in control

you are there in all my histories
my victories and pains
you are there in all my shadows
with forgiveness you are waiting

when I need a place to hide
when I need a place to hide

I need hope to start again
I need hope to start again
you give me hope, and I need hope to start again

into my own hands I take matters
cause deep in my heart I stole the throne
where you have always led so faithfully
I know
doesn’t it seem I’m always running
and most of the time it’s not to you
(all other ground is sinking sand)
give me faith to know
your promises are true

here is the place where I face my secrets
and where I lay them down

Breaking

2009-08-07T14:12:00.000-05:00

By Anberlin

Do you memorize theatrical lines
That seem to lead them in
Play the role with a good girl heart
Hide the tangled webs within

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so
Who do you want to forget
Who forgot you long ago

Do you still feel him
Calling in the air tonight
Do you still feel it
Seems like you've done this before

You make breaking hearts look so easy
Seems like you've done this before
You’ve got breaking hearts all but down
Have you done this you’ve done this before

You make stealing hearts look so easy
Where is that girl I adore
You’ve got breaking up all but down
And I can’t love a thief anymore

Do you collect the souls you’ve lost
In the top of your dresser drawer
Count the number of tears displaced
On lonely bedroom floors

A machine where your heart once was
Slowly takes the place of you
Only hold the memories now
Of a love I thought I knew

Do you still feel him
Calling in the air tonight
Do you still feel it
Seems like you've done this before

You make breaking hearts look so easy
Seems like you've done this before
You’ve got breaking hearts all but down
Have you done this you’ve done this before

You make stealing hearts look so easy
Where is that girl I adore
You’ve got breaking up all but down
And I can’t love a thief anymore

You make breaking hearts look so easy
You’ve got breaking hearts all but down

You make breaking hearts look so easy
Seems like you've done this before
You’ve got breaking hearts all but down
Have you done this you’ve done this before

The best you could hope to be is
Now just a bitter sweet memory and
You make breaking hearts look so easy

Petrified Heart

2009-08-05T10:50:00.002-05:00

By Caedmon's Call

This old heart's been left
Out on my sleeve
And I have paid as it's been rent
Into pieces

Seems everyone I've loved has
Taken a bit of my insides
I'm scattered as the woman whose body
Was torn for the twelve tribes

When did my heart get so petrified
When did it get so hard to feel
When did my heart get so afraid to love
When did it get so hard

And the easy-living Gnostic proud
Use their knowledge
Like a wreaking ball to tear me down
Flooding me with their fallacies
I can't walk on this water
I'm starting to drown

When did my heart get so petrified
When did it get so hard to feel
When did my heart get so afraid to love
When did it get so hard

Strike this rock with your rod
I'll take the blows
Till your living water begins to flow
As it flowed from the Man of Sorrows' side
On that day when his body
Was torn for the twelve tribes
Torn for the twelve tribes

When did my heart get so petrified
When did it get so hard to feel
When did my heart get so afraid to love
When did it get so hard

Lead Me to the Cross

2009-04-07T23:42:00.000-05:00

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

These Ordinary Days

2009-04-02T21:31:00.001-05:00

Not much for conversation, I still find need to pray
Cause sometimes I get tired of walking through these ordinary days
If nothing else I get to see you, even if we never speak
The harm of words is sometimes we don't
Quite know what they really mean

I don't know where, I don't know how
I don't know why, but your love can make these things better

Let me lay down in this field, stare up at the sky
I hope the days and clouds turn into something as they pass us by
And maybe you could settle for a skyline faded blue
I hope that you might settle for this love I have for you

I don't know where, I don't know how
I don't know why, but your love can make these things better
I don't know where, I don't know how
I don't know why, but your love can make these things better
I don't know where, I don't know how
I don't know why, but your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better

Jars of Clay

Let that Be enough

2009-04-02T08:33:00.000-05:00

Wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles spend their time collapsing

Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough

Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough

Hold Me Jesus

2009-03-30T17:11:00.001-05:00

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Flood

2009-03-29T23:08:00.000-05:00

Rain, rain on my face
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud

But if I can't swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again

Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground

Psalm 13:1-6

2009-03-28T20:59:00.005-05:00

O Lord , how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don't let my enemies gloat, saying,"We have defeated him!"
Don't let them rejoice at my downfall.

Introductions

2006-10-25T22:49:00.000-05:00

OK, OK, I know, This is the first post I've made on this blog, and as of this moment, unless by some great coincidence, you have little to no idea of who I am. Suffice it to say that I had, at one point, a blog on xanga that has since atrophied. Perhaps with all the desktop tools that are available with blogger.com, it'll be easier to continue posting on a regular basis.

First off, I enjoy reading. As such, I have recently started tuning in to The Secrets podcast by Michael Stackpole. In it, he is currently in the middle of a series he calls 21 days to a novel. I will try to post on here whenever I complete another step (day)

At this point, I don't know if i shall release my work yet... more on this later.