Off The Wall

Celebrating The Death Of A Terrorist

2012-11-21T16:03:00.000+05:30

A. A. Kasab

Kasab was hanged. It was a quick decision from Pranab Mukherjee who has been a President for less than 4 months. He assumed office on 25^th July 2012. According to our best judgment, we may assume that Mukherjee’s predecessor, Mrs. Pratibha Patil, was busy with other more important Presidential duties.

We must understand that after the hanging of Kasab, the noose is being tightened on Afzal Guru. People of the likes of Afzal Guru are political pawns. Kasab was a pawn. And every citizen could be a probable pawn. To clarify, the preceding statement should not be read that Guru is innocent.

As a citizen of India, this is not a time to ‘celebrate’ the death sentence. It’s the time to ask questions.

The question that comes to my mind is that why an Arnab Goswami of Times Now doesn’t shout for the thousands of innocents who are wrongly implicated and deteriorating in Indian Jails? Similarly, why is it that only Sarabjit Singh is the only Indian that all Indians care about? After the media coverage of vandalism, who pays the damage to the public and private properties that are vandalized by the members of infamous political parties?

Independent media is not independent the way we all assume. It is run like corporations, backed by corporations and corporations are backed by parties in command. This is something what we all know!

Dear citizens of India, please understand that this is all a façade to keep us occupied in verbal banter. To overlook the more important areas that directly affects our lives. Yes, the media asks the questions; but are these really important questions?

As citizens we should organize and with or without the support of media, let us not just ask questions; Arnab and company are doing a good job of questioning; let’s ask the right questions and follow up till we get the answers.

Authority was the second point of Henry Fayol’s 14 Principles of Management. I would like to word it as, ‘Responsibility without authority is difficult. Authority without responsibility and accountability is stupid’. But this adage, in India, unfortunately reads like this: ‘Authority without accountability is a political right and responsibility without authority is ordained for the people’.

The basic problem lies in accountability. Let’s start with the biggest question and to the people whom we know the best, i.e. ourselves; the question being: How can we become accountable?

Corruption and delay in administration, etc. etc. are like the bacteria in our intestines. They were there and will be there. They were and will be present in all the countries. Once we accept this, only then can we move ahead.

The difference in the largest democracy (India) and the some other smaller, yet functionally better democracies is that they are accountable. And I believe, our democracy is not. If governments and its officials have authority, they should be accountable for their actions. And the same should be true for the citizens.

When an ordinary citizen writes derogatory comments on a social networking website, he is held accountable and is arrested without proper procedures and then let of with an apology followed by an inquiry. But when an official, appointed by the government, be it a minor babu to a minister, commits a crime, there is an inquiry first and then action later! Is it because the citizen is more responsible than a public servant? No, because the public servants claims zero accountability as a matter of rightful inheritance!

It is a matter of accountability and nothing else. The RTI Act is a wonderful tool in the hands of the citizens to measure the public servant's accountability. It is already proving to be a thorn in their dhotis. But it is a curative measure. We need a system to make the public servant's accountability acting as a preventive measure to avoid further pain to the ordinary citizen.

The day people holding public office are made accountable, that day we would be a better democracy. Let us build a case for accountability.

For that we need to stop obsessing that we are the largest democracy. Large is quantitative, lets aim to be better, which is qualitative and that is what matters!

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Aamir Ayubi

Citizen of India

A Difference in Ambitions

2012-10-30T11:28:00.000+05:30

Absence of a worldly ambition doesn't mean an absence of ambition. Ambitions are different. Some people want to be rock-stars and some, choose to stay happy and peaceful. Too bad personal happiness and peace is misinterpreted as ‘no fire in the belly’ or being ambition-less This materialistic world loves ‘go-getters’. And that’s the problem with this world; there’s too much of going and ‘getting’ things for yourself. Till the time one doesn't ‘get’ things, one is not an ‘achiever’.

To this world I ask, “Why do you label ‘go-givers’ ambition-less, weak, under-achievers or failures?” Is it because they don’t fit a bill accepted by the majority? Or is it the fear that this minority of an aberration will shatter your illusive world?

It hurts that go-givers are never noticed. It hurts that go-givers are considered ambition-less It hurts that go-givers are sidelined.

Very few times the go-givers are forced to show their truth to the world. But I say, it is worthless do so. Because the world has blindly, voluntarily and without offering any thought, castrated itself to incapability to understand their stance.

When the focus is on getting, giving becomes an unviable option.

A deviation exists to question the majority of its conscience and thought. There is no way it can be silenced. Anomalies are wonderful. If you can’t celebrate anomalies, at least don’t squash it.

And to the world, I dare say, the go-getters are remembered when they pass away, but it’s the go-givers who are missed.

- Aamir Ayubi

Cartoons Against Corruption

2012-09-18T15:13:00.001+05:30

A lot has been said about Aseem Trivedi.

I have checked most of Aseem Trivedi's work on his blog. If one has some basic understanding of political cartoons or cartoon strips or comics in general; at first glance, one can understand that the his work is amateurish and merely stating what we all know. A good political cartoon evokes thought. It shouldn't necessarily state things 'the way they are' - for that we have prose left to lesser mortals like us .

(Branching out to make another point, even R. K. Laxman's 'Common Man' is observational or 'merely stating what we all know'. However his cartoons have a sixty year legacy hence nobody ever talks about it openly, albeit it is done very tastefully)

Trivedi's cartoons seems like a work of an angry school kid who is venting out his anger/frustration against his repressive school system.

Whatever little bit I have read about him in papers and journals, cartoonists, artists and writers unanimously have said - Aseem Trivedi is high on anger and low on talent. (unfortunately I do not have any link to support this but you would have to believe me)

Have you noticed that his cartoons are just expressing what we all speak in crude Hindi?

In a newspaper, a cartoonist who didn't wish to be named said, Aseem Trivedi shouldn't have been jailed for sedition charges, he should have been jailed for bad art.

Another confession. At least he did something which got the people talking and the world interested about the corruption in India. For that he needs to be saluted.

If I may offer an analogy to express Aseem's standing.

Aseem Trivedi : (Political) Cartoons :: :: Poonam Pandey : Twitter

Independence Day?

2012-08-14T22:36:00.000+05:30

On the eve of our Independence Day, I was pondering. It could either be the state of my mind, or the state of my State, that I penned these words...

*****

With a dream of Independence,
You laid your lives; my forefathers.

Scoundrels! You thought of the British,
You thought, they stole your Freedom?

How wrong you were my forefathers,
Lo! Worse than scoundrels your countrymen have become.

I'm glad you're dead, my forefathers,
For you would've died everyday a li'l.

On the eve of That day, you wished Utopia,
On This eve, we give you Dystopia.

*****

Happy Independence Day?

Are You Really Awake Or ... ?

2012-03-16T11:56:00.000+05:30

You get up in the morning and you don’t know the reason why you got up.

You know what you need to do. You need to go to work, punch in the hours to keep the meter running. You finish work and you return home and stare the idiot box trying to find your life in that pretense. Or you might socialize with friends or family. Or if you consider yourself distantly enlightened you might spend some time with yourself. Or if you have are remotely connected to your true human side you might indulge in a hobby.

These are the WHATs of your lives which are lived in the WHENs and WHEREs and HOWs. Your lives are defined by the WHATs, WHENs, WHEREs and HOWs of this world.

Where were you born? What do your parents do? What education you have? What kind of a job you have? How did you do get into a relationship with that person? How could they do something like this? Etc. etc. etc. etc...These questions will only be answering the frivolous.

The real question you need to ask yourself to get a true answer is WHY.

It will answer the simplest to the toughest questions you have.

For example you want to buy the latest cellphone. Most of you will say it’s the best phone as it has the best OS or it’s an Apple/Nokia/etc. product or it’s the ‘in thing right now’ or I have the money so I want to buy it. These answer s satisfy the WHATs and HOWs. If you want a true answer ask why you need the latest cellphone? Try it!

The humble yet insightful WHY is capable to answer a life altering question of something as important as the future of your relationship. If you’re with someone for their looks, sex, money, fame, societal status, etc., you are fooling yourself and the other person. Ask yourself the question, WHY do you need to be with the other person? Ask this sacrosanct question in solitude and listen to the true answer. Try it!

If you take a moment and recap the questions that Life has posed at you, by now, in all likelihood, you would have realized that most of your dilemmas can be answered with the WHY.

The WHY will truthfully answer all your questions but you need courage to ACCEPT them and ACT upon it.

It’s not at all easy to act upon the answers.

Deep inside you all know that the WHY will answer all the questions that your life has ever thrown at you. Perhaps you also know that the path you need to take. Then why won’t you tread ahead?

You do not act upon the answer because you are afraid to fail. You fail to act upon the answer because you are afraid that you won’t know what would happen if you succeed!

Humans need courage not only to rise up from failures, but also to embrace success.

The day you gather this COURAGE to act upon the answers to all your WHYs, will be the day that you will WAKE UP and not merely get up.

Focus.

2011-10-05T16:45:00.001+05:30

It has been almost 3 months since my last blog post. A lot has happened in these past 3 months. About all that. later.

Sharing a passing thought in a different way. Hope you like it. :)

The Bibliophile's Problem

2011-07-08T14:08:00.000+05:30

I follow a writer-artist's blog. He is an American and his name is Grant Snider. One of his posters describe's a bibliophile's problems artistically. I have put it below as a picture.

You can view his posters at his website http://thoughtballoonhelium.blogspot.com/

Why 'Chutiya' Is Not An Expletive.

2011-07-05T16:28:00.003+05:30

For Reader's Discretion: The following is an attempt to explain the usage of the beloved, much loved, adored and most commonly Indian remark Chutiya. If the word sends the yucky feel down your spine, please read the other 61 posts on my blog ;)
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When most of us listen to the Hindi word Chutiya and its two most commonly used derivatives, Chutiyapa and Chutiyagiri, we get a little uncomfortable.

A lot of these people take offense because literally, it means, 'born through the vagina' and the profane 'cunt born'.

Unfortunately the people who take offense don't know that the word may have come into existence from the above explanation, but it does not mean the same thing!

For ex. the exclamation 'Oh Shit' is not uttered when someone encounters faeces in it's innumerable sizes, shapes, textures, smells and forms! Is it?

Chutiya can be defined as 'a uniquely Indian expletive which is endearing and rather harmless compared to other abuses, classifying the recipient as an idiot, ignoramus or someone behaving stupidly'. (definition sourced from www.urbandictionary.com)

Chutiya is a word which is often found in the lexicon of many households, which is equally uttered by women. This should not surprise you. These people know that the word is not a verbal abuse, but a term to describe a moron. The usage is similar to the American slang word 'dumbo' to describe a stupid and especially dim-witted person.

We must understand that our Hindi word is very dynamic and usage is prolific. Our word is neither an expletive nor a verbal abuse, it is slang-ish. ~~verbal banter.~~

We are smart enough to understand the difference between an expletive and a verbal exclamation.

A person will take offense of this friendly world, depending on the context in which it is spoken. Let me ~~exemplify it for you~~ give you a few examples.

Ex. 1: An employee has been asked by his boss to do a simple task, and yet he keeps on failing to complete it, and the boss in frustration says, "Abbe Chutiye", then the recipient will get angry because in this case, the boss is directly commenting on this employee's intelligence and capability, leading to anguish in employee's mind.

Now, see the same word when spoken in a different context .

Ex. 2: A group of friends decide to watch the latest release 'Babloo Can't Dance' and Pappu volunteers to get the tickets, but when he reaches the venue he realises that he has forgotten to bring money to buy the tickets. When Pappu calls one of his friends, he yells at him, "Abbe Pappu, kya chutiya hai be tu! You wait, I''ll come there with the money". In this case the recipient won't get angry and most probably when the friend comes, Pappu himself will have a good laugh at his stupidity.

In both the cases, the doer acts stupidly. When the word is uttered in a formal setting (Ex. 1) it is interpreted as a verbal abuse; but, in a casual setting (Ex. 2) it is interpreted as a remark highlighting the doer's stupidity, which the doer himself, in all probability, would laugh at.

The most common derivative of Chutiya is Chutiyapa and Chutiyagiri. Both the derivatives mean the stupid action of a stupid person. So Ex.1 could have been, "Kya chutiyagiri kar rahe ho?" and ex. 2 could have been, "Kya chutiyapa kia yaar?"

Why am I trying to write a 'scholarly article' on this word? The word which the society dubs as an expletive but yet the people living in it love to speak? Because words in itself do not have a meaning. One word has different connotations depending on it's usage, context, setting, tonality, etc. We cannot blatantly penalize people for using a word!

The matter here is not of this one word, but words in general. Think about it...

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1) Thanks Mihir for pointing the grammatical errors.
2) This shows that I should not post the first draft or in haste!

Miss Those Days...

2011-07-05T12:52:00.002+05:30

Miss Those Days...

When I slept without thoughts
When I woke up with a smile
When I played in the sun
When I ran in the rains
When I loved school
When I hated holidays
When I never knew what worry was
When worry was just a word in the dictionary
When I never fretted what the world would think
When I didn't need to explain my actions
When I lived for 'today'
When tomorrow was the next 'today' I eagerly waited for
When things were simpler
When nobody had an agenda
When pocket money was always enough; always
When sailing boats in the gutter was the best thing in the world
When the word 'sex' meant gender

When going to the park was the 'greatest desire'

When I wiped the fallen-on-floor candy with shirt and ate it

When my friends snatched and ate that fallen-of-floor candy

When friends were real and just cared for candies

When we all just cared for candies.

When We Were Growing Up

When We Wanted To Be Grown Ups

But We Didn't Know That When We'll Grow Up

(We'll) Miss Those Days...

The Social Network Wars - Google Strikes Back?

2011-07-01T17:01:00.000+05:30

'MySpace' was the original cool social network before the advent of the 'facebook' age. News Corp had bought MySpace for $ 580 million back in 2005. Yesterday, MySpace was sold for a paltry $ 35 million! Read the report here.

On 28th June 2011, Google unveiled it's secret project called Google +. It is yet another social network initiative from the Google stable. Prior to this the three failed attempts were Orkut, Wave and Buzz respectively.

Whether Google + would 'kill' facebook or not, only time would tell. Here's a fantastic blogpost which says why facebook should fear Google +.

On trying Google +, I liked it's much better privacy control options. The concept of circles is fair and fast. Circles are the subgroups of my 'Friends' (Friends being facebook jargon here) which I make.

What's wonderful is that nobody knows in which circle you have added them! You decide what to share with whom. For example if you want to share your honeymoon pictures with just your family, you choose that and only your family can see that, rest others wont.

But there is one thing that can potentially kill another company. In this linked post you can read that how Skype can potentially lose out. Google is offering free video chat with 10 people simultaneously, FREE OF COST! Skype too offers free video chat but it's revenues are based on the paid services.

I'm not a software or web developer, but these recent developments in the span of few days and the current information have got me thinking:

MySpace was the undisputed champion and was running high on valuation till facebook showed up and slayed it!
Google launches it's Google Plus initiative.
MySpace was sold for a fraction of it's acquisition cost by News Corp.
Should Microsoft, owner of Skype, be worried? Did the 'Googlers' laughed their a$$e$ when Microsoft paid $ 8.5 billion for Skype? Will Skype's fate be similar to MySpace?

Do we see a change in the fortunes of the companies mentioned here? Let's wait and watch!

Life, in Apple Style

2011-06-28T10:38:00.000+05:30

iBorn

iCry

iLaugh

iEat

iDrink

iFart

iBurp

iShit

iWalk

iSmile

iSpeak

iSchool

iWrite

iFriend

iPlay

iEnjoy

iDirty

iClean

iStudy

iHate

iTry

iWin

iLose

iPuberty

iHorny

iLove

iMiss

iSad

iLove

iHit

iHappy

iDream

iCreate...iHuman

iKnw

iUnderstand

iDream

iGraduate

iListen

iDream

iWork

iMoney

iRest

iDream

iHope

iMarry

iSex

iKid

iDream

iHope

iWork

iMoney

iWork

iMoney

iWork

iMoney

iBored

iRemember

iVacation

iDream

iHope

iWork

iMoney

iWork

iMoney

iWork

iMoney

iHope

iOld

iForget

iPray

iCry

iDie

In between all this, you forgot the most important one

iLive.

Why Gandhi Is Not In Peace Even In Heaven

2011-06-24T17:30:00.000+05:30

The entire Indian freedom fighters clan is in heaven and seeing how their ‘free’ country is deteriorating every passing day. So to divert their attention from the negativities of the world which is alive on earth, our clan decides to watch a film. They decided to watch Peepli Live instead of the smash hit. The two foremost ‘leaders’ are discussing:

Lal Bahadur Shastri (LBS): I’ve come to know that this one is produced by that short actor who has been publicized as a perfectionist. What’s his name?

Mohandas Gandhi (MG): You need to read Bombay Times along with the regional dailies. You must keep an open mind Lal. That guy’s name is Aamir Khan. I don’t know why he has replaced his surname from the original Hussain? Do you know that this was the official selection to be sent to the Oscars?

LBS: Sir jee I know your affinity with the Oscars. The film made on your life won many naked golden man trophies naa. Hehehehe…

MG: You read my mind my fellow. Let’s watch the film.

And he announces that this film will be viewed without an intermission and requested Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose not to revolt for this!

After watching the film, all our national heroes are dejected.

LBS: These guys start so many schemes in our names and do not deliver it to the poorest of the Indians. We are witnessing the carnage from above but I never thought it wouldn’t reach cinema. I’m glad. But do you think the film will help anyone?

MG: I think both of us know the answer! So let’s not talk about it.

LBS: I still want to believe that HUM SAB EK HAIN.

MG: After doing so much for ‘our country’ and opting for the 3^rd class accommodation in heaven too due to my ideologies, everyday looking at earth, I feel that KYA HUM SAB C****** THE?

Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose: (thinking)…we should have watched that other smash hit Dabanng, at least for once Bapu would have received some solace in his death.

...................................................................................................................................................................

The above post is a satire directed towards the existing 'leadership' of India; just in case, if you did not get it!

Why Growing Up In 80’s And Early 90’s Was Cooler Than Growing Up In Noughties?

2011-06-23T16:46:00.002+05:30

I am a child of the mid 1980’s and early 1990’s. Things were much more serene then. In our summer vacations we just used to go to the ground and get ourselves dirty by playing cricket, football, hopscotch, kho-kho or the Indian favourite gilli-danda. We actually ‘followed’ cartoon shows religiously because they used to be aired only during the vacations! Yes, that era of bland programming of Doordarshan when ‘Fun-Time’ at 11 a.m. was really some fun, when Duck Tales and Tale Spin ruled the roost. Giant Robot was much cooler than Optimus Prime because he could be summoned by a kid with a simple ‘Come on Giant Robot’!

But nowadays, there is a cartoon overload on television. Tom & Jerry, Pink Panther and Scooby-Doo are long forgotten and the new, ‘full of crap’ cartoons have taken over. The only violence that we saw in the cartoon was thrashing of plates and cats and dogs chasing each other in some healthy natural banter. And now we have 10 year old characters 'fighting’ with weapons!

I'm sure we all lived with Mario of the Super Mario Brothers fame to save the pixelated princess and despised to see this again and again!

Eighties and nineties were the days when corporal punishment was existent and practiced in all schools and homes. When I meet my school friends or reminisce about my school days, apart from recalling our teachers whom we had a crush on, we remember how a certain teacher thrashed us or thrashed a friend.

I remember my Art & Craft teacher Mr. Maher thrashing me almost black and blue in the fifth grade; the funny part is neither then nor till now, do I know the reason of the thrashing! Maher sir was a brooding dark fellow over six feet tall with a soft voice. I think God installed his baritone into Archana Puran Singh or Lillette Dubey!

I remember, this one time we were all set in our school bus on way back to our homes and my friend Muzaffar was lame enough to yell “Aye Kaalu” (Yo Blackie!) to Mr. Maher who was passing by. He didn’t intend it to be audible, but then a yell is supremely audible, isn’t it? And then Maher sir entered the bus and we all cornered up into our seats and he smelled the extreme fear that was oozing out of Muzaffar’s face. Muzaffar was, and is, a very fair guy and he had turned red by the time Maher sir had finished thrashing him. After he left, we did not know what to do, whether to laugh our asses out or to console Muzaffar! We settled for gulping down the vision of the battering and telling Muzaffar that “it’s OK’, at least he didn’t call his parents, which would have earned him some more red marks at home, if you know what I mean. But today, we ‘laugh our asses off’ over that incident.

Those were the days when parents too spanked us, when required. I think they raised their hands only to correct us when we were wrong and never to curb us. Today I look at kids, yelling in the malls and black mailing their parents for buying the seventeenth ‘Ben 10’ toy in 3 months and the parents trying to reason with them how they have sixteen at home and how a seventeenth wouldn’t help. And like the previous 16 times, they fail to ‘win the argument’ and buy the toy. At times like these I feel like going and telling them, “Beat that kid, the prick needs some spanking and he’ll shut his mouth and behave!”

I’m not ‘pro-beating-your-kid’. I’m ‘pro-beat-that-kid-when-he-is-unreasonably-demanding’ (I remember Russell Peters's stand-up comedy act of Beating Your Children as I write this)

These are the two things that I’ve noticed. I think you value things when they are scarce. That’s why we loved cartoons and I still go gaga over Tom and Jerry watching it for the 649^th time and still laugh. That’s why my generation knows the value of money and is not as materialistic as the current generation kids who are growing up. That’s why I still kept my He-Man (click & enjoy the opening theme) action figure for over 2 decades, and parted only when it broke and could not be displayed upright in the glass cabinet. We love our parents for beating us at the right time and that’s why we are reasonable and not demanding and will never be demanding with our peers, friends, families, spouses and children. We love our teachers for being imperfect and yet showing us the way towards excellence.

There was something magical about growing up in the eighties and the nineties.

Monsoon's Arrival...2011

2011-06-06T16:37:00.000+05:30

So I finally arrived in Mumbai on Thursday, 2nd June and caught everyone unaware. And like every year no one was prepared for me. And yet like every year the people thanked me for coming.

There is something magical about my arrival. When I touch people on their heads I can read their thoughts. And I read this guy's thoughts...

This was after years that he strolled on my arrival without the fear of getting wet. He enjoyed my company like he used to when he was in school. He simply did not care! He was glad that I touched his face. So many times he looked up.

Oh how I loved his smiling face,
His shoes all wet, he didn't care a damn.

For once he forgot time's race,
And turned a child, from a man.

Also on the other hand there were many who were cursing me for my early arrival. Why is it that the people love me and then hate me as the season progresses? It's not my fault that there are traffic jams, water logging, dilapidated buildings tearing apart, etc.

Blame thyself oh human beings! I bring life with me, and you find devastation in life too...

We Don't Want Self Sacrifice, We Just Want You To Fuck Off

2011-06-04T16:57:00.001+05:30

Japan was never alien to catastrophes, human or natural. The recent natural disaster has also spilled over to man-made disaster. Japan is now facing a nuclear crisis.

The Tokyo Electrical Power Company (TEPCO) has deployed it's workers to its nuclear plant. What touched me was the report of the Japanese elderly. Here are some people who are in their last years and willing to offer help by sacrificing themselves by being exposed to lethal radiation. They are offering to go to the plant and do what is required.

Their argument is that young people have a higher chance of cancer due to radiation. (Cancerous cells multiply very slowly in older human beings. It's approximately 50% slower) They are in their final years or maybe days. Besides it was during their youth that nuclear power was set up. So it is their responsibility to cover up their mess. Why should the current young generation pay for what they have done! WOW!

Read the short CNN report here.

Now this got me thinking about "my country's elders". The elders who are leading our country. The elders who want to have everything till they die. Forget self-sacrifice, the elders who are willing to kill the youth if it is required. I wonder when will the elders move away and let new blood come in?

God, Please Introduce Accountability to Indians!

2011-05-26T17:33:00.001+05:30

As usual after waking up, I take the newspaper and browse through the front page. I hardly ever read the front page because it is filled with gross, nauseating and heart breaking negative news, which, if I read, will surely make my day worse!

But today a headline grabbed my attention.

Wrongfully arrested, diplomat's daughter sues NY for $1.5m

A certain Ms. Kritika Biswas, daughter of Debashish Biswas, vice counsel at the Indian consulate in New York, was arrested on false charges of sending obscene and threatening anti-Semitic hate mails to teachers of her school in December 2010.

For a change I read the whole story under the headline. You too can read it here.

Now most of the people who would read this story would be enraged that how could the administration arrest an innocent 18 year old girl? How could ‘they’ mistreat one of ‘us’? I’m sure Indian media would take this story and play it for a while and will surely give a racial undertone to it. Everybody will make a hue and cry about mistreatment of Indians by the Americans, etc., etc.

After reading the whole story, I didn’t feel enraged or think there was racial discrimination. I felt good about Ms. Biswas! No I’m not a sadist!

Ms. Kritika Biswas is in a country where she can actually sue the administration of a city for being mistreated. And if she is innocent, then I’m sure she will receive compensation, not necessary the entire $ 1.5 million. This compensation is for mental and physical stress undergone due to the unfortunate incident.

Now, picture the same scene in our glorious motherland, India. You don’t even need to picture it in your mind; this is the story of thousands of people in this country. But it is not reported in the papers. There are no cases filed against the administration. Because we, the people know that nothing will happen. THERE IS NO ACCOUNTABILITY in our system.

Accountability: The Indian Style...

Ms. Biswas can appeal because she knows that she is in a land, where accountability is of the highest importance and where it is expected; it is something that we Indians can just dream of. A citizen there can sue the administration if he falls into an uncovered manhole and breaks his leg. But here, people have died and nothing has happened.

Aah! I want this for my city. But this wonderful city of Mumbai is nothing but a whore for the pimp-politicians who come every year, do some business through it and leave it bleeding for some other mother fucker to do business with it. And we Mumbaikars are its kids who helplessly watch this whore who provides for us. I think it is true for the entire country, not just Mumbai!

All of us are fed up potholes. The potholes are of all shapes and sizes, all depths, at all locations. They are so prominent that you can find them even on flyovers and highways. I even wrote a satirical post about it here.

What I’m going to enlighten you will blow your minds off. Do you know that a UK citizen can claim for damages if his car has suffered mechanical failures due to potholes? Do you know that UK pays out more than £ 50 million as compensation claims due to poor roads? Don’t believe me, check it out here.

It feels so great to read and know that these countries are accountable! As an Indian citizen, I do not want a lot from the government. I just want accountability. Simple! But the people of this country were enslaved for over 3 centuries and went scot-free on 15^th August 1947. For over 3 centuries there was somebody else who was accountable to us. We went to ‘them’ with our problems. We forgot what it means to be accountable. We still do what we did in those three enslaving centuries, we blame each other and want somebody else to come and clear the mess.

The majorities of people choose to stay mute and try to make a living and do not pay heed to things like potholes even though it is the cause of their botched up cars, injured backs, stress, high blood pressure and rage. This majority stays silent because it is busy trying to make a living.

Amongst the miniscule minority who pays heed and are aware, who tries to change and does something to change, are unfortunately defeated by the system. They end up feeling sorry for their standard of life and sorry for their country and insulate themselves.

And then there are the smart ones who do not want to compromise! These people in search of nothing but good standard of life move out of this country to some place where they do not have to worry about petty issues. The media calls it brain drain. I call it ‘Accountability’s Gain’.

I feel, I do not know what to do. If there is someone who knows how to bring accountability in our system let me know. Maybe we can start something which can be a spark a revolution which will lead to this country’s latent metamorphosis.

Like any other of the few ordinary educated, informed and well read citizens, it pains me because I know that the grass indeed is greener on the other side.

Thank You God For…

2011-04-26T17:44:00.000+05:30

Giving me parents
Blessing called a sibling
Giving me life
Letting me live till NOW
Blessing me with a fantastic working condition human body
Never having to struggle for food even a single day
A wonderful home
My education
Giving a mind that is continuing my education and will not cease
All the experiences
A few, but good friends
The teachers that came in my life
Keeping me safe from major sins (the minor ones, I don’t blame You ;) hehehe…)
A job for sustenance

I don’t know whether you take requests like the local city RJs on the crappy radio stations, but I would be obliged and even more grateful if you just bless me with another thing; then it would read,

Thank you God for… Peace of Mind

[This is a request that the most human kind play on Radio GOD; it surely reaches You, but I think while returning, Your message gets messed up! I hope that when You answer this time, the frequency reaches my channel ;) ]

Why Do Women Remain in Self-Detrimental Relationships?

2011-03-21T18:02:00.003+05:30

Few of us were having a conversation about relationships and why do some girls/women end up in not so loving relationship. For my post, the relationship (partner) to be considered is between a woman with her boyfriend, husband or live-in.

These were a few questions and some general statements that we discussed:

When in a relationship, how and why do they (female friends) change so much?
Are we right being perplexed, yet concerned for our lady friends?
How and why do head strong ladies, too, get marginalized in a relationship? (Assumption being most women do)
Why do girls (head strong too) fall for complete jerks? (Jerks here are selfish and manipulative bastards, hell bent to marginalize women)
Why do jerks land up with good women?
Nice guys finish last but they do get nice girls. (I felt this could be a self soothing and hopeful statement)

This was my my insight for these not-so-grave, yet solemn questions.

I usually am good, at observing human behavior and supplement myself, sometimes by reading about it too. We human beings are complex creatures because of our complex brains which is a self destructive combination of logic and emotions, which are never perfectly balanced. I believe some of us are balanced, but that too, only few instances in a day.

The questions had no single answer. The answers are very subjective rather than being objective; subjective not from my perspective, but from the perspective of any lady in the above given questions/situations.

When in a relationship, how and why do they (female friends) change so much?

How can a person change so much? I really don’t know! Human behavior is unpredictably irrational at times; which, the person realizes, only in retrospect.

Are we right being perplexed, yet concerned for our lady friends?

Yes. But I think one may be over reacting. What they do as a couple is their business. One is not trying to find faults; one is just being thoughtful as a friend who genuinely cares and concerns and hence one may be noticing her too much and trying to find out answers. But frankly my dear, don’t give a damn!

How and why do head strong ladies, too, get marginalized in a relationship? (Assumption being most women do)

There can be an unending assortment of reasons spread over the table of difficulties of women! But in Indian context, it could definitely be the concept of ‘sacrifice’ for the good of the husband/family.

Why do girls (head strong too) fall for complete jerks? (Jerks here are selfish and manipulative bastards, hell bent to marginalize women)

As far as settling for jerks as husbands, the only good reason I think is that they maybe ‘better’ bread winners. ‘Better’ in financial terms and the kind of social standing their ‘family’ has in the ‘society’! Apart from this I see no sense. This is surely a fact, which probably, none of the women will express openly. And if there is, I still haven’t found it.

Why do jerks land up with good women?

A woman will not settle down with a jerk boyfriend but there is a high probability that she may settle down with a jerk guy via arranged marriage due to at least, the one reason, I cited above. (There maybe more reasons) If she remains (bf/husband/live-in) with a jerk she knows, then surely something is wrong with the lady, emotionally! Or maybe the sex is just so great that rest doesn’t matter!

Nice guys finish last but they do get nice girls.

Read the statement again. Read!!! Have you read it? If you’re a nice guy, you would know that you finish LAST. But as the world says and is trying to condition us by saying positive things about blah blah blah blah blah… yes you’ll get some nice girl and eventually settle down and blah blah blah blah… Got it? So feel what ever you want to feel. (My perspective)

The concern with guys like us is that we think a lot, are well read, socially aware, don’t have standard opinions, will always go with the right side as we don’t follow factions of thought processes and hence choose to believe and more-or-less stay balanced in spite of the observed prevalent irregularities which highly perplexes us.

Thinking is something that is deep rooted and we’re a rare kind in today’s society which just doesn’t think. I don’t know if I’m too bold to acknowledge that we are the last league of ‘gentlemen’ in our times, at least in the immediate society we stay in.

I’m not an anti-feminist, pro-feminist, male-chauvinist, or any other god forsaken adjective used to describe men or women. I’m just plain-fucking-nice!

3 Reasons Why Zor Ka Jhatka was Totally Wiped Out!

2011-02-07T11:20:00.003+05:30

Zor Ka Jhatka - Total Wipeout has been 'totally wiped out' by the viewers! Here's why:

1. Pathetic programme packaging.

2. Contestants - Totally washed out contestants whom nobody wants to watch.

3. Host/Commentator - Shah Rukh Khan! WTF was he thinking to host a show like this(no guesses...it was the money). He can be a good host (KBC-2) but he is not a good commentator.

The concept was not innovative at all. Indians have been exposed to a similar concept in the form of Takeshi's Castle on Pogo TV. And the only thing that made it popular was Javed Jaffery a.k.a. JJ!

Takeshi's Castle got the above 3 parameters perfectly right.

1. Packaging - Just the plain video with no unnecessary added animations. Crisp Editing. Only the hilarious and painful endeavours made it to the show.

2. Contestants were the common people. No 'known' faces. (Because it was an old show where reality shows had real people, not faded nobody's who once appeared on TV!)

3. A concept like this requires smart commentary, not star power. JJ had us in splits with his hilarious comments. (He was not required to stand in shiny suits. His voice talent was the 'Pulled' the audience ) I still catch the re-runs on Pogo and still laugh on his comments. His commentary was the reason that people loved a stale Japanese show!

The show has not been able to garner TRPs and will soon be called a failure. I have heard the knell.

The channel 'Pushed' the show very hard and tried shoving it up by garnishing it with Shah Rukh Khan. The ever intelligent viewer just moved aside (did not watch) and the channel, itself, shoved the show into oblivion!

10 Chrome Extensions to Simplify Your Life + 1 Super App.

2011-02-04T12:39:00.000+05:30

I'm not an IT person but I have a reasonable interest in technology and especially the Internet.

There are a few tools which has made my computing and browsing experience very pleasant. I wanted to share it with you all.

App: Evernote

Imagine you're sitting in front of your desktop at work and are getting bored. (You don't need to imagine that. It's a fact! Hehehe) Your mind wanders off and you get a great idea for a party or an idea for your blog or remember the things you have to do when you go home or the grocery list for the weekend. What do you do? You use Evernote. It's a fantastic note taking tool for people who use multiple PCs and own a Smart Phone. When I say note taking, I mean things ranging from your personal to do list to office to do list. When you are surfing the web, you find something interesting that you might want to read in the future, or maybe a photograph that you liked, etc. etc.

How is it different from a Post-It Note?

You can sync it to your free account. All you have to do is visit the website, download and install the application on your work PC/Laptop and home PC/Laptop, register and you're done. If you're traveling and don't have the application, you can check your data online on Evernote's website.

You can tag the notes to sort them. You can print notes directly or email them! You can attach files, pictures, tables, hyperlinks, etc. And if you own a BB, iPhone or an Android phone, you can sync it too!

This helps me a lot as I blog and I can write ideas ASAP and don't need to worry about 'idea retrieval'. Also all of us find great links which we write somewhere because it could be useful, but when the time comes, we fail to find it!

Most of us have practically stopped using pen and paper. This is a fantastic tool for anything. People have composed novels and business plans using this app! Try it. Watch a 2 minute introductory video below.

(Also see, Evernote widget below)

Browser: Google Chrome

We all started with Internet Explorer but gradually moved to open source browsers like Safari, Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome. I have used all the mentioned browsers. Google Chrome beats Mozilla Firefox by a considerable margin. The most important aspect of Chrome is its speed. It is light and loads lightning fast as compared to a reasonable Firefox. (I'm not comparing with Safari as it is an Apple browser. Even though it is awesome, the usage of Safari is relatively low compared to Chrome in this part of the world.)

Incognito mode in Chrome: Do you know that everytime you browse, you leave behind a history in the browser. Many a times we manually delete our browsing history but Chrome can take care of this. All you have to do is open the window in the Incognito mode (Ctrl+Shift+N) or in the Tool function on the Right Hand Side of the browser, click to open the drop down menu and click Incognito Window.

When you browse in this mode and close the window, the history isn't saved. It's deleted automatically! It's advisable to use this at computers at public places and work. (If you have a collegues or seniors poking their noses)

I'm assuming that most of us use the bookmarks functions so I'm not going to say, how it helps me in my browsing. Its the extensions which has made me a fanboy of Google Chrome.

Extensions are widgets (mini - applications) in the browser that a user needs to install.

Below are the widgets that are extremely helpful for anyone.

1. Google Dictionary

It happens with most of us that we don't know the meaning of a particular word while reading something interesting in the mail or general browsing. Install this and all you have to do is double click the word and the meaning pops up!

2. X Marks

People who have the habit of bookmarking, this is the best tool to sync your bookmarks. So that you can access it from anywhere.

3. Last Pass

We all have multiple accounts and passwords like Facebook, Twitter, GMail (or any email), blogs, communities, etc. Just install Last Pass and save the login information of all your sites. You have to create a master password for Last Pass. Just key in the master password once when you start. Done. You dont have to fill all the other details. When you open facebook (or any other site), it automatically logs you in! I have over 12 different websites where my log in has become hassle free!

The only catch is, do not use it on your work PC. You don't want the colleagues to access your information ;) And if you have multiple users at home,don't worry, there can be multiple accounts.

4. You Tube Downloader

Once you install this all you have to do is just click and download ;) There will be a download option just below the video window which is usually not there. (It's not developed by Google but works well)

5. Evernote Web Clipper

You're browsing your favourite website or blog and you like something you see. Just highlight the text or photo and click on the Evernote widget icon on the top right hand side of your Chrome browser. It will save and sync it to your Evernote. Simple.

6. Facebook for Google Chrome

You can't login everytime to facebook but yet want to receive updates and share status updates. Install this.

7. Chromed Bird (Twitter)

You are regular Tweet-er and passionate about following your favourite celebs or your friends. Just install this and let this be a small window to the Twitter world.

8. Remind Me

If you're addicted to browsing, this is for you! RemindMe allows you to setup reminders while browsing and sync them between computers.

9. Awesome Screenshot

We all have have a print screen facility in our PCs, but this takes the clipping experience to a higher level. There is a multitude of options to share too.

10. Add This

This is for the browsing butterflies who want to share interesting links with the world ASAP!

There are thousands of productivity apps/widgets on the official Google Chrome Extension site along with some fun apps too (if you really have the time for whiling away time!) This is the Official Google Chrome Extension home page.

Internet and technology can assist us, if we use it in that way. Hope you found this useful.

Leave a comment if you use any. Or if there are some awesome extensions you already use and is noteworthy to be shared.

Yusuf Pathan - A Humble Encounter

2011-01-28T15:02:00.000+05:30

Today, at Vakola Masjid in Santacruz (East), Mumbai, Yusuf Pathan walked in for the Friday Namaz. He was dressed simply, in a white shirt and a blue pair of denim. He looked peaceful in his newly grown beard, Mashallah! There was no air around him. He walked in the mosque like a common man looking for a place to sit. He sat 2 rows behind me.

As soon as the prayers got over, he decided to leave. No sooner did he reached the gate and wore his shoes, than a few men surrounded him for an autograph! "Yusuf bhai, one autograph please." "Yusuf bhai, please step out and click a photograph with us." The requests poured in with a Dolby surround sound effect!

And Yusuf replied, "Please let me go!" Now when I looked at him uttering those words, they were only out of humility. He was visibly embarrassed as if the paparazzi caught him with his pants down! His 'please let me go' actually meant, "I have come here to pray just like you guys. Why are you acting so strange. Did you forget we are in God's house?"

He hurried away to the Toyota Innova waiting a few metres ahead and jumped inside. Little kids started knocking the window and grown up men waved their hands. All Yusuf did was, bow down to tie his shoe laces and embarrassingly lifted his hands up without looking at the crowd.

This was indeed a humbling experience. Why? I have seen minutely famous personalities acting like superstars when they are around common people. Forget them, when we ordinary common folks achieve something, we act like royalty. And here was Yusuf Pathan, arguably the greatest Indian hard hitting batsman, showcasing the class associated with real gentlemen.

All I did was, see him walk, read his face and look at his eyes. And the one word to explain his personality was - HUMILITY.

I wish we common folks could learn a lesson from a sporting superstar of this nation.

A Beautiful Antithesis.

2011-01-21T17:09:00.000+05:30

A few days ago, on GTalk , I was chatting with Faiz, my friend from Rizvi Academy of Management. In general we were grumbling about our jobs. (That’s our favourite past time…all the friends….hehehehe)

Now, Faiz is a very funny guy and is know as an ever jovial fellow. Rarely serious type kind of guy.

Our conversation was wavering from jobs to work life and ambition and hobbies, etc. etc. At the end of our conversation Faiz mentioned something and I want to leave you all with the intense thought he shared.

The words haven’t left my mind and probably will stay with me for a long time because it is philosophical, yet realistic. A beautiful anti-thesis!

Guzar aur guzaarish mein kitna fark hai!

(There’s such a difference between what we have/go through and what we desire!)

How To Create Luck.

2011-01-17T14:44:00.001+05:30

How Can You Get ‘Lucky’?

Luck can be ‘created’! Don’t think that everyone can win the jackpot lottery. That is just pure luck-by-chance or ‘dumb luck’. The luck which can be ‘created’ is something different. It is when you are at the right place at the right time and with the right person when luck can be created. It is circumstantial. When you are at the right place at the right time and with the right person, you may get an opportunity upon which if you may act, will lead you to a path which may make you happy or you may gain something fruitful, and in retrospect, you’ll say, “I got lucky”!

Want to know how. Let me give you some examples from my life.

In 2003 (right time)I took admission in Smt. MMK College (right place) to pursue BMS. During that time I was a shy teenager and on the first day was looking around for people I could befriend. Mihir (right person) was the first person who looked at me in the eye and smiled. I smiled back (Action/Interest) and we got talking. This is how I gained a best friend for Life. He teaches me a lot by sharing his experiences and has broadened my world view and contributed immensely to my personality. I have a better learned man as my best friend. I GOT LUCKY!
After graduation, one of my friends, Sonil, got a freelancing writing job. He (right person) called me and asked if I’d be interested. I replied in the positive. (Action) This is how I got my first job ever as a freelance journalist and more importantly stumbled upon my hidden talent of writing. I GOT LUCKY!
In 2008, I missed the MBA MH-Common Entrance Test (right time). A friend (right person) told me about Rizvi Institute of Management Studies (right place). I applied (Action) for the autonomous PGDBM course and got through on merit. I GOT LUCKY!
In 2008, my cousin Mustafa graduated and wanted to pursue MBA in Mumbai. I told him (right person) about Rizvi Institute of Management Studies. (right place) He applied and got through on merit. In this course of time I befriended (Action) him by breaking all the awkward ice between us and my cousin became my best friend. My brother is my best friend. I GOT LUCKY!
An acquaintance of a Professor (right person) told him about an opening for a business writer in a company. He remembered that I used write. In April 2010, during placement season, (right time) he told me about the job. I went for the interview (Action) and got selected. That’s how I landed up my first job. I GOT LUCKY!

The above events of my life may seem insignificant to the reader, but the magnitude of these events do not matter to explain the concept that I’m insinuating. The important thing is to note that had I not been in the right place at the right time and with the right person, my luck would have been different! YOU & me, yes, WE could have never been acquainted! Let me elucidate the above list.

Had I not skipped my 2002 HSC exams, I might have taken admission in the same college but I wouldn’t have met Mihir! But, I passed in 2003, got admitted to Smt. MMK College on the last day of admission and that’s how luck transpired!

Had I not acted on Sonil’s offer, I wouldn’t have been writing THIS and YOU wouldn’t have been reading this!

Had I not missed my Entrance exam and been in Rizvi, I wouldn’t have had the wonderful experiences of making friends, a family member as a best friend and my first job would have been different!

So how can you create luck? What is the difference between a lucky and not-so-lucky person? I’m quite convinced that there is a lot of difference.

The simple differentiator is taking ‘interest in the other person’!

I took interest in the other person and that’s how it led me to various ‘achievements’. There must be a deep intellectual curiosity that one must have, or need to cultivate.

We must have the humility to be interested in more people and the above illustrated luck will come our way.

You Need 2 Things To Succeed In Life, Ignorance and Confidence.

2011-01-14T12:56:00.001+05:30

I never really understood the meaning of the quote ‘Ignorance is Bliss’ until recently.

Before we could utter identifiable words, we became part of the education system. Most of us attended kindergarten school by the time we were 3 years old. Most managed to graduate, i.e. 2 years of kindergarten and 15 years of formal school and college or university. Some of us were courageous enough to attend a post graduation or Masters, so add another 2 years. Some rare bright minds manage to pursue a Ph.D. which is another 3 years. So this is where most people fit:

Graduate: 17 years of education
Post Graduate: 19 years of education
Ph.D.: 22 years of education

Assuming that most of us are graduates, it’s a really sorry situation to be in! Our minds have been ravaged and distorted in these 17 or more years. We have been told so much about everything, that we have stopped thinking for ourselves.

Unfortunately, whatever we are today is not because of us, it’s because of what we are told. And making that a base, we acted. We never knew or questioned about the things we were told. Did we? Did YOU?

Our mind is filled such elaborate, convoluted, highly structured and sophisticated GARBAGE that we have become victims of our ‘education’.

Why do I say so?

Tell me, how many of us ‘highly educated’ people of society really realize our true human potential? I can’t even give a percentage, but it’s a handful out of millions of us.

Who made it really big and make really big? Or to put it eloquently, who really come close to or achieve their real human potential? IGNORANT people!

Yes, Ignorance is bliss!

When you are ignorant, you don’t know the rules of the world. When you don’t know the rules of the world, you make your own rules and follow it. When you make your own rules and follow it, you are the master of your ‘own world’. And that’s how you achieve for what you were born.

Ignorant people are fearless. Why? Because they don’t know the rules. And when you don’t know the rules, you are not afraid to break them. Simple!

Let me exemplify. You stand in a long queue at the railway ticket counter because that’s the rule and that’s the ‘right’ thing to do. An ignoramus walks to the counter, shoves his hand with some currency and walks away and hops that train. And what do you do? You stand there and stare and do what? Most would gulp their anger. Some would sigh audibly. And one of you might shout! And by the time you buy your ticket, you missed you train, but the ignoramus was already ‘ahead of you’.

That’s true in life too.

Many of you would argue that education is the means to a content life because the learned men said so. These learned men who have passed away lie dead in their graves and are quoted in universities! Had they been practical, they’d been entrepreneurs and their names would have been alive on the things they made which helped humanity!

You need two things to succeed in life, ignorance and confidence.

– Mark Twain

Read the above quote once again. What are you watching? Read again!

Now, in context with Twain’s quote, think of every entrepreneur you know. Billionaires, millionaires or even the happy small time entrepreneur we all know in our societies. The two qualities mentioned by Twain are the heart of fearlessness. And I quoted the example of entrepreneurs because they are the most fearless people that the world today knows and respects.

Did that quote give you goose bumps? It would, if you are dissatisfied with what you’re doing after being ‘educated’.

I believe the ‘education system’ does more damage by instilling more fear than confidence.

Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore knew the essence of education.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high

Where knowledge is free

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments

By narrow domestic walls

Where words come out from the depth of truth

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way

Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit

Where the mind is led forward by thee

Into ever-widening thought and action

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

The education we wanted was ‘where the mind is without fear’. And look what we got? We have lost reason and we are lead forward only by our fears, not into the heaven of freedom, but shackled in restraint, enslaved by the false rules, only to be searching for true guidance.

Due to the ‘distorted education’, you just know a lot. When you know a lot, you think a lot. When you think a lot, you develop fear. When you develop fear, you fail to act. When you fail to act, you are stagnated. When you’re stagnated, you don’t grow. When you don’t grow, you DIE!

The damage is done. We all have to unlearn the false ‘facts’ and ‘rules’. That’s what I mean by ignorance. Probably that's what Twain's soul whispered in my ear! That’s how Ignorance will save you.

Why Adam(Man) Is Simpler Than Eve(Woman)?

2011-01-11T12:55:00.000+05:30

Man has been the simpler than woman since God decided to mould some clay and breathe life into it to call the man as Adam and the woman as Eve.

God gifted the beautiful Garden of Eden and asked them to stay there and enjoy in their naked tranquility. There was once simple thing to do - God told them not to eat the fruit of The Tree of Knowledge. Peace.

Now this is what must have happened with Adam and Eve. (The following scene is fictionalized)

Adam: This is just so cool. All I have to do is just roam around, eat and pray and enjoy life. Nothing to do. I love God. He made it so simple for us. And as far as the Tree of Knowledge is concerned, I'll never go near it. Wait! Where's Eve.........shit.....

And just around the Tree of Knowledge was Eve 'talking' to herself: (Moving her hands through her head and checking her image in the nearby pond) Gosh!!! It's so boring here. All I have to do is talk to myself. I hate thinking. Thinking is so like....Adam. He hardly talks! I'm Eve. I like talking. I wish there was someone whom I could talk to. I wonder what the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge tastes like. Yaaa! I wish there was someone who could tell me what to do. The Garden of Eden is awesome, but I'm sure the Forbidden Fruit is the most awesome, that's why God kept reserved it for Him/Her-self (Just in case some feminist pops up and says God is a Woman :p) Oh, how I wish I could talk to someone...it's so boring...

The Serpent near the Tree of Knowledge was listening to Eve's rants. FYI, the serpent has the ability to speak and reason and is identified with the wisdom of this world. (Some people joke that the reasoning ability was not required as he was speaking to Eve; all he had to do was 'talk'...hehehe)

Serpent to Eve: Yo wassup baby? Damn....you're hot! How you doing? (And then the Serpent checked Eve out from top to bottom. I think he had tasted the Forbidden Fruit)

Eve to Serpent: Wow...I have company..yoohoo! What are you? Who are you? What's your name? Where do you stay? Wanna have lunch with me? Do you know what the Forbidden Fruit tastes like?

Serpent to Eve: Slow down girl...I'm just a serpent, not a woman! Well, all I know is that the Forbidden Fruit is actually not forbidden. It's the best fruit of the Garden and ......................

......... as soon as Serpent was about to give the reason...Eve plucked a fruit and had a bite, and at that moment Adam came. As soon as she gulped the morsel she looked at Adam and ....

Eve to Adam: Well hello, handsome! I never knew you were soooooo HOT...this fruit has made me 'look' at you in a different light. Winking to the Serpent, if you know what I mean? ;)

Adam (sighing): Why did you eat it Eve? Why? There were 6.384 billion types of fruits in the Garden. I just tasted a few hundred and you had to screw this up...why? It was so SIMPLE...God told not to eat the Forbidden Fruit, but you did exactly the opposite. Now God will throw us out. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Now what? Ah shit! Because you tasted the Forbidden Fruit, both of us are gonna be thrown out, might as well take a bite..

And Adam takes a bite....and then he realises why Eve was finding him HOT! And then God shouted and they covered their modesty with some leaves.... and the rest is history! (Well, God was pissed off and he cursed the Serpent and demoted Adam and Eve to Earth and we cribbed unhappily ever after)

All the first man and woman had to do was chill...that too in the Garden of Paradise! But, the woman could not understand one SIMPLE instruction and screwed it up for both men and women, and we all are here on Earth, still the same. Men making life simple and women tangling and complicating stuff.

I'm not a misogynist. It's just that....it's a fact that women have to accept that they love to complicate things and men are simpler. And don't blame me, it's a problematic 'quality' passed on to the female DNA by Eve.