Life Matters

Open Letter to Laurie Baird, Kelowna Chapter Leader for Action4Canada

2023-06-25T11:54:00.013-06:00

Laurie Baird and members of the Action4Canada Kelowna chapter doing a prayer march around the School District 23 offices on April 7, 2023

Open letter to Laurie Baird who is the Kelowna chapter leader for Action4Canada, a Canada-wide organization that pedals in fearmongering and stoking hate against the 2SLGBTQ community.

Dear Ms. Baird,

The transphobic assault where a man belligerently demanded proof of gender for youth participating at the recent school sports event in Kelowna shocked and disgusted thousands of people around the world. This is on you, Laurie Baird. It is on you and the people like you who crusade as the moral gender police wreaking havoc on the lives of children who want nothing more than what every child wants. To be loved and supported, and to participate fully in life, school, and sports.

You masquerade as someone who is out to “protect the children”, when in fact what you’re doing is causing extreme anxiety and stress to gender-diverse and trans children and the parents who love and support them. This is what you’re doing when you hand out harmful and false literature as parents pick their kids up from schools in Kelowna depicting teachers as sexual deviants who show porn to children. This is what you’re doing when you hold prayer marches around school board offices with the intention of guiding the administration to follow your version of Christianity in public schools. This is what you’re doing when you encourage your group to undermine teachers, trustees, and administrators by attacking the use of SOGI 123 resources at school board meetings. This is what you’re doing when you protest with your signs at events that support queer youth.

Poster created by Baird that is being distributed in Kelowna

What you’re trying to do Ms. Baird is instil fear among the public by using misinformation tactics surrounding the support of 2SLGBTQ youth in schools. You want people to be afraid that having queer youth seeing themselves represented at school is going to turn straight or cisgender kids gay or transgender. You want people to be afraid that transgender youth are going to be a threat to cisgender youth in schools. You want people to be afraid that youth are going to transition without their parent's knowledge or consent. You want people to think that supporting queer kids in schools is part of some global agenda supported by big pharma. None of this is true. None. Any “evidence” you can point to is contorted and cherry-picked infotainment that has zero credibility or relevance in Kelowna. What you’re doing, is by definition, disseminating propaganda.

Baird and Kelowna Chapter members of Action4Canada
handing out defamatory pamphlets at Kelowna schools alleging that
teachers are using pornographic materials in public education

To where does this discriminatory behavior lead? It leads to what happened at the school athletic event in Kelowna. It leads to ignorance-based and hate-fuelled assaults that impact children and their families. It leads to youth being afraid for their future and being afraid to be visible. It leads to more youth suicides. It leads to increased hate crimes. It leads to more mental health issues. All of this is statistically proven.

Ms. Baird, it seems you have dedicated your retirement years to advocating against supporting 2SLGBTQ youth. I truly hope you consider the results of your work thus far. You are feeding a beast and it isn’t pretty. If you took some time to speak to the parents of queer youth you would quickly learn how damaging and hurtful your work is. Do you want this to be your legacy?

Wilbur Turner

Kelowna, BC

Dean Bruer, Senior Minister in Two-By-Two Sect Involved in Multiple Sexual Abuse Cases

2023-03-25T11:02:00.008-06:00

TW: CSA/Sexual Abuse

A worldwide non-denominational church group has just disclosed by way of a letter from the head minister, Doyle Smith in Oregon, that one of their senior ministers, Dean Bruer was found to have raped multiple women and children. Bruer was found deceased in a Government Camp, Oregon hotel room in June 2022, at which time he was the overseeing minister for Oregon. While it isn’t odd that someone died in a hotel room, it is highly unusual for one of this group’s homeless ministers to be staying alone in a hotel when one of the bases of their belief system is that ministers are to stay in the homes of members. Bruer was 67 years old and had been in the ministry for 46 years.

What is shocking about this case is what was disclosed in the letter. Evidence was found on the phone, laptop, and in the records of this minister of his crimes, yet the ministry failed to notify authorities or alert members until this letter was written nine months after the body was discovered, and even then authorities were not notified.

This religious sect doesn’t take a name but is often referred to as The Way or The Truth by members and outsiders refer to them as two-by-twos. The ministers are single, celibate, have no property, and live in the homes of members. Ministers are referred to as workers or servants and members are referred to as saints.

In her book Preserving the Truth author Cherie Krop states “While the 2x2 Sect does not provide membership statistics, researchers, reporters, and others have come up with a wide range of figures. According to the Wikipedia page, membership for "Two by Twos" ranges from 300,000 to 4 million worldwide. In 2022, however, a more probable rough estimate is 75,000 current members worldwide.”

In full disclosure, I am an ex-member of this church and belong to a Facebook group of about 1K ex-members where this news broke yesterday. Most of us are in shock at the news and are familiar with many past coverups of sexual abuse and child sexual assault by members of the ministry.

When it came to the attention of the Facebook group members that law enforcement was not informed of the crimes that are referenced in the letter, group members reached out to authorities on March 23, 2023. Since then, and presumably due to this being exposed by ex-members, minister Doyle Smith apparently turned the laptop referenced in his letter of March 20th over to local authorities in Clackamas County, Oregon.

Due to the nature of the crimes and the possibility there are more victims, I believe this needs to be reported in the news so that victims can get the help they need. Although we were able to get a copy of the letter we have been told that ministers have been directed to read it to elders in the church but aren’t allowed to provide copies to anyone. As this minister worked in Alaska, Washington, Louisiana, Montana, Wyoming, Oregon, and Idaho, and traveled extensively due to his senior position, there could be victims in many places.

Clackamas County Sheriff's office can be reached at 503-655-8211 for victims or information regarding the case. The case number is 23-006111.

Private Investigator Hotline to report any cases of sexual abuse within the two-by-two sect:

Call the Hotline +1 503-386-4634 to report any tips regarding SA/CSA, money laundering, etc. All calls are confidential and are welcome from anywhere in the world.

All reactions:

Helle Madsen

Wellness Together Canada To connect with a mental health professional one-on-one: call 1-888-668-6810 or text WELLNESS to 686868 for youth. call 1-866-585-0445 or text WELLNESS to 741741 for adults.

Exposing the Hate - The Truth Behind Drag Protests

2022-12-07T23:54:00.009-07:00

Looking through social media posts about the planned Drag show protest in Kelowna today I noticed quite a few people were unaware of why protesters are calling Drag performers and transgender people groomers and pedophiles. I decided to write a blog post to give some background. I attended the event to show solidarity with the queer community and see first-hand what all the fuss was about. I was expecting the police would need to be called.

A poster inviting people to join the protest showed up on a social media page under the name of Graeme Flannigan with the title "URGENT: Protest All Ages Drag Show for Children." Nowhere was it billed as being an event for children.

The battle cry of this group is that these types of performances sexualize children. It is some of the same people and the same storyline used by those who organized to support Parents Voice BC school trustee candidates as they sought to end SOGI 123 in schools, a set of resources to help create safe and inclusive spaces for 2SLGBTQ+ students. They refer to members of the queer community and their allies as groomers and pedophiles. There's a lot more to this than a simple protest, and this wasn't the first one in the Okanagan. I'll get into that after I talk about the actual event.

Did the performance at the restaurant contain adult content? The event, produced by Rebellious Unicorns was advertised as "adult themed and minors must be with an adult." If you've been to a Drag show you know the language is often spicy. You also know that content is modified according to the audience. You will see quite a difference between a drag show at an adult-only venue such as a bar, vs Drag Storytime at a Library, or a show at a family restaurant. The organizers and owners of the establishment have left it up to the wisdom of the parents whether or not they wish to bring a child to this show. I attended the show and it was pretty tame compared to most other Drag shows I've been to. I noticed the performers being respectful of some kids who attended with their mom. These cute kids even brought their own signs and had their picture taken with the performers.

These kids brought their own counter-protest signs

"If these people really cared about children, they would be protesting the 215 children, or protesting the churches where sexual abuse happens," said Drag performer Ella Lamoreaux to loud applause from the sold-out room at the start of the show. (In May 2021, Tk'emlúps te Secwépemc Chief Rosanne Casimir announced that the remains of 215 children had been found near the city of Kamloops as part of a preliminary investigation at a residential school.)

Proud mom with her kids and the performers.
Photo Rebellious Unicorns

Kudos to Deb and Karyn at DunnEnzies for the community support and for creating a space for performances like this. I really appreciated their attention to everyone's safety at the event.

What is behind these protests and the specific false claims about groomers, pedophiles, and the sexualization of children? This is an organized attack against the 2SLGBTQ+ community that started in about 2021. Its roots are in the USA where it has become a political weapon to target public education and the transgender community. The term pedophile has long been used as an attack on the gay community to create stigma and fear. Its resurgence has come about in a fight by extremists against marriage equality and transgender rights. It surfaced over so-called "bathroom bills" that sought to prevent transgender people from using washrooms that matched their gender identity with claims that it would allow pedophiles into women's washrooms, equating being transgender with pedophilia.

The term groomer refers to someone who manipulates victims and coerces them to agree to abuse and thus reduce the risk of being apprehended. Sexual abuse is a criminal offense.

Protesters were being asked by a performer why they were there, outside DunnEnzies on Lakeshore Road on December 7th. The individual circled was seen assaulting a counter-protester who was standing in front of his sign. One of the protesters seemed agitated and was bouncing back and forth on his feet like he was itching for an altercation. The RCMP were called and interviewed the people involved. Some of the same individuals protested a Halloween party for queer youth in October.

The anti-2SLGBTQ+ crowd does not use the terms pedophile and groomer legitimately but has co-opted them for a weaponized attack on the community. These attacks gained global attention in 2022 in part by publicity surrounding the "Don't Say Gay" bill passed in Florida. Politicians and right-wing pundits have fanned the flames of this harmful rhetoric which has spread into Canada. Action4Canada, a nonprofit extremist organization in Canada is a big influencer of the events we have seen in the Okanagan such as the one on December 7th. Pamphlets associated with this organization were distributed in Kelowna during the October 2022 municipal election falsely claiming that teachers are showing students pornographic material.

Content from the Action4Canada pamphlet on SOGI 123 distributed during the Kelowna 2022 municipal election

According to Action4Canada's website, "The LGBTQ have (sic) been hijacked by radical activists who are attacking the core freedoms and rights of all Canadians. The political activists are not interested in equal rights, diversity, or inclusion. Their objective is forced compliance and acceptance of their adult sexual proclivities and ideologies." Groups like this have always attempted to sexualize and demean the queer community, and to create stigma and hatred with the end goal of erasing us. They promote politicians who lean toward their extremist views (their ideology is backed by Judeo-Christian biblical principles) which is just another way of saying they want their hard-core beliefs to become part of the governing laws of the country. All this does is promote hatred which turns into violence and death. Violence against the queer community, and particularly transgender people is on the rise. We can look at the Pulse and Club Q tragedies as an example.

Counter-protestors at an event in Salmon Arm, October 2022
Photo Jessica Rae

I attended a Transgender Day of Remembrance last year in downtown Kelowna. This annual event remembers and honors the lives of transgender people who lost their lives during the year. There was no event this year and one of the people who organizes it said they didn't feel safe doing so due to the rise in these types of protests. I really hope that we can find a way to effectively create safe spaces for our community and that we don't have to experience violence before something is done. While I don't have all the answers as to how to counter the damage these anti-2SLGBTQ+ movements are doing, I do feel that educating the public and exposing their lies would be a good start.

If I had one question for the protesters what would it be? Since there is a lot of content that families may watch on TV that shows much more PG-rated content than I witnessed in the Drag show today, my question would be "Are you going to stand in front of every family home that has a TV with your protest signs, or how exactly do you intend to fully censor such content?" Like Ella said, it really isn't about the children. If you look at Action4Canada's website, this hate is what fuels their fundraising.

What is Hate Speech? The Attack on SOGI 123

2018-09-30T21:14:00.005-06:00

Laura-Lynn Tyler Thompson (r) and Jenn Smith at the anti-SOGI protest in Victoria, BC which they organized on September 29, 2018, where dozens of counter-protesters also gathered. Photo - Black Press Media

To quote Laura Lynn Tyler Thompson who names herself as CEO of Laura Lynn Tyler Thompson Ministries "Disagreement with an ideology is not hate." Thompson has been in the cross-hairs of furious parents of LGBTQ kids, their allies, and many groups related to K-12 education across British Columbia because of her crusade to have SOGI 123, which she calls an ideology, removed from schools. Some of Thompson's critics have labeled her social media posts as hate speech. SOGI 123 is a set of resources for teachers to help create safe schools for all students regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This was implemented two years ago by BC's Ministry of Education and has been adopted by all 60 school districts across the province.

Thompson has also been involved in recently organizing a coalition of evangelical pastors to create what they call the West Coast Christian Accord (WCCA) to not only fight against SOGI 123 but also to proclaim their views on Christianity relative to LGBTQ people, with specific mention of transgender individuals and same-sex marriage. Their proclamation which may be viewed here, when boiled down, seeks to erase anyone who doesn't conform to their views. In fact they describe transgender and gay people as simply having adopted a transgender or gay self-perception which can be dealt with by the person denying their gender identity or sexual orientation and seeking help from God to deal with their affliction. The accord proclaims that marriage is only recognized as being between a man and a woman. As an aside they also state that eternal salvation is only available through Jesus Christ, so it seems they don't recognize any other spiritual beliefs such as Buddhism or Islam. Yes, it is 2018!

Thompson is currently seeking election to the Burnaby School District as a trustee where she intends to fight against SOGI 123 and impose her extreme religious views upon the public school system.

What is the meaning of hatred in the context of the Canadian criminal code? The various laws which refer to "hatred" do not define it. The Supreme Court has explained the meaning of the term in various cases which have come before the Court. For example, in R v Keegstra, decided in 1990, Chief Justice Dickson for the majority explained the meaning of "hatred" in the context of the Criminal Code:

Hatred is predicated on destruction, and hatred against identifiable groups therefore thrives on insensitivity, bigotry and destruction of both the target group and of the values of our society. Hatred in this sense is a most extreme emotion that belies reason; an emotion that, if exercised against members of an identifiable group, implies that those individuals are to be despised, scorned, denied respect and made subject to ill-treatment on the basis of group affiliation.

More recently, in 2013, Justice Rothstein, speaking for the unanimous court, explained the meaning of "hatred" in similar terms, in relation to the Saskatchewan Human Rights Code:

In my view, "detestation" and "vilification" aptly describe the harmful effect that the Code seeks to eliminate. Representations that expose a target group to detestation tend to inspire enmity and extreme ill-will against them, which goes beyond mere disdain or dislike. Representations vilifying a person or group will seek to abuse, denigrate or delegitimize them, to render them lawless, dangerous, unworthy or unacceptable in the eyes of the audience. Expression exposing vulnerable groups to detestation and vilification goes far beyond merely discrediting, humiliating or offending the victims. [Source]

Is Thompson then guilty of hate speech through her WCCA affiliation, her social media posts and rally rants? Are she and her colleagues attempting to create ill will toward people who identify as LGBTQ, to scorn and despise them, or to delegitimize them? If you read her social media posts and the replies of her followers you may conclude that she is establishing her targets as dangerous, unworthy, and unacceptable in the eyes of her audience. I will leave it to you to decide if what she is communicating is hate speech.

The rally on the Legislature Lawn will be an opportunity to stand against the travesty of BC School's overstepping the bounds of decency in Canada by... https://t.co/wC3QNnOD0E
— Laura Lynn Thompson (@LauraLynnTT) September 29, 2018

Over 1,000 church leaders band together to fight radical sex ed in British Columbia | News | LifeSite https://t.co/BVC2qLisGD
— Laura Lynn Thompson (@LauraLynnTT) September 29, 2018

I am however concerned about what I consider a bigger problem. Through her affiliation with the evangelical scoundrels, and I am being generous with that term, and in creating what they call an accord they are teaching that to be anywhere on the spectrum of LGBTQ is wrong, and living life as your true self is a sin in the eyes of God. There are multiple problems with this thinking. The ones that immediately come to mind are: 1) Hate crimes against LGBTQ people are already higher in proportion to general members of the population. Religious teachings that being LGBTQ is morally wrong and that God is punishing the world because of tolerance of this immorality only encourage people who are brainwashed with this religious extremism to develop hatred leading to such crimes. 2) Youth who are subjected to this doctrine from their parents and religious community, or dare we go there, from public educators, and are LGBTQ or may be questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation, are much more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and consider, attempt or commit suicide. [Source] We already know the story of Leelah Alcorn, a transgender teenager who took her own life because her parents couldn't bring themselves to accept her gender identity because of their strongly held religious beliefs.

The rainbow in all of this, no pun intended, is that the anti-SOGI activism has rallied people across the province and country to come out in solidarity and in the last few days the hashtag #SOGIis4me has been trending nationwide. We can all remain vigilant in calling out darkness when we see it and raising our voices in support of our vulnerable youth.

I am a straight, cisgender woman who believes all people are equal regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. SOGI 123 was created to help end discrimination against LGBTQ+ people (many of whom are my friends and family members) but also #SOGIis4ME pic.twitter.com/BNJqf9b3gg
— Willow Reichelt (@WillowReichelt) September 29, 2018

Are Thompson's strongly held religious beliefs and attempts to take Canada back to the dark ages of religious and legal oppression of LGBTQ people only serving to incite fear and hatred and keep the masses uneducated? Hasn't it always been the objective of religious extremists to keep people uneducated to make them more pliable to their dogma? It is no wonder that Thompson and her group want to keep youth uneducated. These evangelicals are a dying breed and are struggling for survival.

Every Wall Has a Door

2018-09-30T19:08:00.001-06:00

Photo by Peter Hershey on Unsplash

I'm on the phone with a very dear friend. They are struggling with one very fundamental life question. "Am I fulfilling my life purpose?" This person is despondent and talking about giving up on life, thinking they had wasted so much of their life and it seemed to them futile to carry on. My heart is aching listening to this conversation.

How will it be possible to say anything that would make a difference? What coaching would be possible? What popped into my mind was something Dr. Wayne Dyer said. "Look at every person as the unfolding of God." This question burned to be asked, "When did you decide to give up on yourself?" The answer "When I was seventeen I made a very stupid decision and since then I have wasted so much time. Now I'm in my fifties. What a waste."

I responded with "You did something when you were seventeen that was the right thing for you given where you were, the circumstances you were in, and the tools you had. Nothing can change that, so when are you going to stop going back to that moment trying to fix it?" The silence was palpable. I could hear my friend sobbing. After a moment I heard a whispered "I have never heard that before, and it makes so much sense."

When you hit a wall stop for a moment. Look at the stories you've made up about yourself. Have compassion for your young self. Look for the crack of light that comes from under the door. Freedom is waiting.

A Bullied Boy - When Will it Stop?

2010-10-05T23:05:00.002-06:00

It started with orange seeds. I could feel them hitting the back of my neck and head, some of them going inside my shirt collar and sticking to my back. I shrunk down in my seat, working very hard at pretending it didn't bother me, trying to be invisible. Any attention would only have all the kids on the school bus laughing and staring at me. The seeds were being spit at me by the girl in the seat behind me. I could hear her snickering with the kid beside her. When I ignored her she leaned forward and whispered "Retard, retard, you're such a retard you should be dead." "Retard" was the worst word to use on someone back in 1967. Then she started kicking the back of my seat. I was frozen in my seat, afraid to fight back, afraid to say anything. It was drummed into me, I was a wimp, a sissy, a freak. It was said to me so many times by the kids on the bus, the kids at school. I was a discard, an outcast, a boy who no one wanted. This was what I made it all mean. I was embarrassed at myself, at feeling helpless at the taunting voices, the threats, the pointing, the laughing, and the whispering. Nothing I had done made any difference. The worst part was I had no idea what started the bullying. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but obviously something was really wrong. The grown-ups just said things like "Sticks and stones can break your bones but names can never hurt you." That just didn't make sense to a ten year old. Even though I heard it from teachers and my parents. The only people I thought could do anything about it didn't.

Every day I was terrified to get on the school bus. My parents had me wear a Peter Pan hat to school. It was the most "uncool" thing to have to do ever. No one else wore hats. I have no idea why it was necessary and I was too scared to disobey. Why couldn't it have been a ball cap at least? I didn't have the courage or presence to stick it in my bag or hide it under my coat once I got out of sight of the house. The hat was the subject of ridicule day after day. One afternoon on the way home from school one of the boys grabbed my hat and threw it out the bus window as we travelled along the gravel road. At first I was only present to everyone laughing and then I thought "Now I won't have to wear it again!" No such luck, the bus driver stopped the bus and told me to get off and go pick up the hat. I struggled down the aisle getting punched and slapped all the way to the front of the bus. Tears stung my eyes while I tried to pretend I wasn't hurting and scared as I stepped down the stairs onto the dusty road looking for my hat. I hated my life. I hated all the bullies.

I dreamed I could fly. I would fly over the top of all the kids in the schoolyard. The schoolyard and the washrooms were the scariest places of all at school. These were places that likely didn't have teachers present and the bullies could do whatever they wanted. I would try to go all day without using the washroom just to avoid the bullying. At recess and lunch break I would try to find a place to hide in the school where a teacher wouldn't find me and send me outside.

I became a bookworm. I started getting books from the library and read one or two books a week. I lived in the fantasy world of the characters in the book. It was my escape. I just wanted school to be over. I thought maybe it would be less in high school but gym class seemed like the ultimate opportunity to get incessantly slammed while playing sports. I hated sports. Somehow I was a fine target, someone who never fought back and in not reacting physically only irritated the bullies into trying harder.

I never thought I would be writing publicly about how school was for me. I had been ashamed and felt stupid during my days at school. Even though I was an A student, that didn't seem to make any difference. I had become a target and totally lived into that created environment. Today I'm thankful for the steps I took to develop my self-confidence and create a life where love and generosity replaced bullying.

Recently there have been suicides in the news. Children who took their young lives because they didn't see any other way out of the misery and shame of being bullied. There have also been some courageous people who have shared their stories.

I believe that bullying will stop when parents start breaking the cycle. Who knows where it all starts, but I think it starts at home. Children who are bullies are demonstrating their power and control when they feel like they have no power or control over important areas of their life. Maybe they're not listened to at home. Maybe they're bullied by parents or siblings. There are lots of anti-bullying campaigns and I'm sure they're making a difference. Bullying is still happening and children are dying. Sometimes little bullies grow up to be big bullies. What do you think would make "the" difference in ending bullying?

Photo Credit

Remembering a Great Dad

2010-09-30T22:08:00.000-06:00

I bobbed up and down on the yellow vinyl seat as the 820 John Deere tractor labored across the summer fallow field pulling the cultivator with field harrows dragging behind. The musty smell of freshly turned earth combined with crushed weeds filled the air. Gulls squawked as they followed along overhead watching for mice. Going up the next hill the tractor began to lose power and even as I shifted the gears down I had to push the hydraulic lever up to raise the cultivator shovels, easing the load on the tractor to be able to make it up the hill. The loss of power was a slipping clutch.

It was a hot July day in 1971. I was fourteen years old - a skinny farm kid with nerdy glasses. Always curious about how things worked I often watched as Dad fixed the machinery on the family farm. I remembered him describing a time before when the clutch was slipping on the tractor and he did what he called "setting the clutch" to fix it. I knew I couldn't finish cultivating the field and I was a bit worried about not getting the job done before Dad got home. He was away at a convention for a few days. I knew he wouldn't be too pleased if the job wasn't done. I drove the equipment into the yard and up next to the shop. After digging around in the drawers in the shop I found the manual for the tractor. I leafed through the grease marked pages and found the instructions for setting the clutch. I took the clutch apart and followed the instructions. After a few tries it seemed that it was fixed. I did a test run around the yard and then went back to finish cultivating the field. I was very proud of my achievement and couldn't wait to tell Dad what I'd done when he got home. I really wanted him to be proud of me.

Dad didn't show much acknowledgement. In fact, he didn't take my word for it and took the cover off the clutch to look at it. My experience of my Dad was he was mostly very gruff and unappreciative as I was growing up. It is only in the past few years that I began to appreciate my Dad and be able to acknowledge his greatness. He had some quirks like we all do, his humanity was quite evident, and he was an amazing man. When he was fourteen his father left the family, leaving him as the oldest of six children to work the farm with my Grandmother. He left school with a grade eight education. Even so, there wasn't much he couldn't do. He built our house, knowing how to frame, build rafters for the gable roof, do the electrical wiring, the plumbing and with the help of my oldest brother custom built the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. He was the "go to" man for the neighbors to bring their broken farm equipment and he was a pretty good welder. In the early days when a group of neighbors formed a telephone cooperative Dad was involved and helped install poles and lines bringing phones to the community. He did all of this with a grade eight education. I never did get to ask him how he learned all of these things. It just seemed like he was a natural expert.

Dad, October 1 is the anniversary of your passing in 1994. When I remember you now I am grateful for everything I learned from you, from fixing tractors to doing home renovations and everything in between.

Life's Reset Button: The Equinox

2010-09-22T18:48:00.000-06:00

What I'm grateful for, what I want more of in life, and what I'm willing to release and let go of... that is what one of my friends shared with me today in connection with the fall equinox. One of her practices is to make a list of these three areas at the time of the equinox. What I heard was it is an opportunity to hit life's reset button. The equinox is when the sun is lined up with the equator and is a metaphor for balance. Pause for a moment, take a breath, take inventory, see what it is that I have to be grateful for, look at what would make a difference if it were present in my life, and look at what would make a difference if it weren't present in my life.

I'm grateful for my beautiful children and grandson. I'm grateful for loving friends. I'm grateful to be living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world - and we're going to have a full moon tonight, the first time on the equinox since 1991. It's a beautiful clear day so I'll be going for an early evening walk to enjoy the view. That is just the beginning of my list. I will complete it before I go to bed tonight.

What is it I would like more of in life? One thing that would make a difference is being compassionate. Mostly with myself. Then I can be that way with others more. More money would be good too. Not that there is a lack, I'm very grateful for what I have. I find that having more allows me to take on bigger projects that make a difference. I would like to be able to sponsor more children through World Vision.

What do I want to release from my life? I have recently purged closets. I have so much more space now. It feels good. I would like to release resentment. Sometimes I get a build up, kind of like scales in the kettle. After a while you start to notice it. People do things that are annoying. I'm letting that go. This isn't a one-time fix either. We're all human and we need to take stock once in a while.

What are you grateful for, what do you want more of, and what are you willing to let go of?

Grandma Kept Her Ice Cream in the Window

2010-09-21T14:23:00.001-06:00

Adversity = Opportunity. Pffft! Really? I don't know if my grandmother would have used those words. She was though a very clever woman whose resourcefulness as a single mother provided for a big family during the great depression. She once told me the story of chasing down a rooster in the farm yard to catch and cook because two strangers walked in from the road who hadn't eaten for a few days. In her later years she lived in a small cottage in our home town. It was a very old building, poorly insulated and drafty in the winter. She was very proud of her quaint little place and took care in making it warm and inviting. Her unique style of decorating included painting over the old linoleum floor with a solid color and then painting a repeating pattern over it using a potato that she had cut into a star shape.

Grandma loved having her grand kids stay over night. She delighted in serving us treats and one of her specials was a dish of ice cream with a fig newton cookie on the side. (As an aside the "store-bought" cookie was pretty special to a kid who only had homemade stuff at home - how things have changed!) The only unusual part of this for me was that Grandma kept her ice cream in the window. This was only in the winter of course! There was a space between the inside and outside window above the wash stand. The inside window conveniently had a latch and swung open on hinges much like a cupboard door. The cold Alberta winters made this a great place to keep the ice cream frozen. If I recall correctly the refrigerator didn't have a freezer compartment, so the only time she could have ice cream available was in the winter.

“There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.” Washington Irving

Adversity and miserable circumstances are often the excuses for being miserable, frustrated and feeling helpless. Not so with Grandma. She always seemed to find ways to be ingenious in spite of the circumstances. What examples do you have of turning a hard circumstance into a treat?

Bringing Harmony to Life: A Small Village in Africa and the Canadian Tenors

2010-09-20T18:09:00.000-06:00

Have you ever heard the Canadian Tenors? Last week I found out they were performing at UBC's Chan Centre in Vancouver and I went with my friend Michelle last night to hear them. I have one word to describe the evening "moving". What is it about this kind of music that moves me so much? Perhaps it is a combination of the orchestra, band, and the voices of four good looking guys in suits who can sing. Ha! Really, though I think the aspect that moves me most is the harmony. In music, harmony is the use of simultaneous pitches (tones, notes), or chords [wikipedia]. I have always had a love for harmony in music and this quartet is expert in bringing harmony to life.

The concert gave us a taste of children singing and dancing in Africa as it was a benefit for the village of Bulembu in Africa. The audience at the Chan Centre was exposed to the work of the Bulembu project through video of the Canadian Tenors visiting there recently and hearing them share about their experience. You can find out more about the project at http://www.bulembu.org/. This village became a ghost town after a mine closed down there. The village has now been purchased and is a project to provide homes, vocational training and sustainability for 2,000 orphans by the year 2020. The Canadian Tenors are playing a huge role in bringing attention and fundraising to this project. Bulembu is located in Swaziland, a country with just less than a million people and over 40% of them living with HIV/Aids.

The evening was magical, inspiring and I got to experience the harmony of the Canadian Tenors as well as contribute to a project that is very important to me - making a difference for children. I also can't help but think of the harmony that is brought into these children's lives through this project, many who have never known what it is to have parents.

An Unforgettable Day With Yulin and Sidney Rittenberg

2010-09-12T22:28:00.000-06:00

Sometimes in life an incredible experience opens up unexpectedly. Today was one of those days. How often does one get to meet a man who has known all of the Chinese leaders since Mao, was accused of being a spy, led a political rebel group in China, been in solitary confinement in a Chinese prison for sixteen years and turned all of this into a successful consulting business?

I was honored to visit with Yulin and Sidney Rittenberg in their home near Seattle along with friends from Vancouver and Victoria. This couple inspire through sharing their stories and experiences from China. Sidney moved to China as a young man in 1944, met and married Yulin while there and then returned to live in the United States in 1979. Sidney was put in prison on two occasions while living in China, first for six years and then for ten years, both in solitary confinement. He had originally moved to China working as a linguist and made acquaintance with leaders of the communist party. He and Yulin now operate a consulting business providing services for large corporations doing business in China. Remarkably, at the age of 89 there is nothing dull about Sidney. There was some discussion about the exchange rate of the Yuan to the US dollar. Sidney pulled out his iPhone 4 and quickly provided the answer. Later, while getting ready to go out to lunch together he sat at the dining table and used his iPad to look something up. He exudes wisdom, and his quit whit and love warmed my heart. He enjoyed telling us about some of his work with Mike Wallace from 60 Minutes. He said during one of the interviews Mike turned off the recording and looked at Yulin and said, "Are you married to this man?"

Sidney's book "The Man Who Stayed Behind" was co-written with Amanda Bennett in 1993. He shared with us that he is writing a new book which he plans to have finished next year.

(Click the photo for a larger image)

Lunch Visit - L to R: Josanne Holland, Yulin Rittenberg, Mark Holland, Ramona, Sidney Rittenberg, Wilbur Turner, Larry Ho

I captured some of Sidney's wisdom from our visit to share with you.

"Everyone is afraid of trauma. Trauma is only afraid of one thing. That is being opened up and examined."

"I tried to remember everything about what happened during the time in prison. I didn't want the skin to grow over any wounds and then have pain in the future and not know where it was from."

"A person's life purpose can be seen through a trajectory of their actions. They may or may not be able to see it themselves."

"Your purpose in life is like a rudder. It will keep you on course. You can be locked up and many things taken away from you but your purpose cannot be taken away from you. When I was in prison misery was constant however there was always an edge of happiness because I still had my purpose."

"When you feel bad and you big deal it, the feeling goes away."

There was much more - likely a book could be written just about the day. To top it all off we went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch and my fortune cookie says "Remember three months from this date! Your lucky star is shining."

Lick Your Bowl Clean - Life Is Not a Rehearsal

2010-09-10T19:25:00.000-06:00

Early evening pedestrians drifted by the windows on Robson Street. Music from the movie "Nine" wafted from the small black cube speakers high on the wall. The sign in the window of the Japanese diner style restaurant said "Gyu Don Ya". At the window counter a young man pushed the last grains of rice awkwardly around his bowl with a pair of chopsticks. Seeming oblivious that anyone was watching he dropped the chopsticks on the counter, picking the bowl up in both hands. Leaning forward he began licking the inside of the bowl, turning it carefully until he had every last grain of rice and sauce that had eluded the chopsticks.

I watched silently from the bar counter, at first a bit shocked. This was clearly the actions of a five year old and this man was clearly in his twenties. Then, as I began to think about what I had just seen a new thought began to develop. Even though this man's mother may have swatted him on the back of the head for such behaviour, no harm had been done and certainly no food had gotten wasted. As I always did when someone I didn't know did something interesting, I gave the man a name. This time it was Eric. Eric, I thought must have really enjoyed the meal. Maybe it had been a while since Eric had such a good meal. It was even entertaining watching Eric's friend giving him an elbow poke and glancing around the room to see if anyone was watching, trying to look like he wasn't looking around the room.

Later, when I arrived home from dinner I began to reflect on the encounter. I realized how often I conformed to "norms". I thought about my recent "chopstick experience". Just the previous Monday I was having dinner at Guu with one of my Asian friends. I hacked at the tofu in the Japanese stew with a pair of chopsticks, trying unsuccessfully to cut it. My friend asked "Can I help you with that?" Being very determined and thinking to myself "What is he going to think of me that I don't know how to use chopsticks?" replied, "No thanks, I'm sure I can defeat this piece of tofu" and laughed, trying to sound confident.

As I continued to reflect, I asked myself "What am I rehearsing for? Is it time to start licking the bowl of life clean?" I answered in a very loud voice "Yes!" If there had been a cat in the room it would have been startled.

Are you afraid to lick your bowl clean? Are you afraid who may be watching?

Photo Credit Flickr