Olisa yarns

Movie poster mistakes

2012-01-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

The history of film promotion is littered with graphic design clangers and lazy cut-and-paste jobs. Here’s some of the shoddiest examples.

Bad Lieutenant
Aside from the lack of lizards - so vital to Werner Herzog's barmy remake - this is a nice-looking poster... perhaps too nice. Eva Mendes’s chest has been significantly, umm, enhanced via the magic of Photoshop. The results are unconvincing and probably a bit offensive.

The Accidental Husband
Firstly, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Colin Firth aren’t even looking at the falling Uma Thurman. Much more worrying though are Firth’s hands - they're freakishly big compared to the rest of his suspiciously puny body.

Bangkok Dangerous
Nicolas Cage's hair isn’t the only thing that's fake on this poster. Check out his arms; one is disappearing into the side of his leather jacket, while the other, seemingly holding a gun, is emerging from a weird, unnatural angle. In fact, wait a minute; he’s not even holding a gun at all! Who knows what’s going on here.

My Best Friend’s Girl
Another classic here that was so bad even the star slated it. Dane Cook (in the middle) took to his blog to compile a ten point list of mistakes. Criticisms included: "the left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull", his "perfect porcelain flesh" and a stare that looks like his character has "fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudson’s hair"

Sex and the City 2
As you’d expect, the film’s four creaking leads have been airbrushed to within an inch of their pampered lives in the poster. What we weren’t prepared for, and what’s disturbing us very much indeed, is the fact that Kim Cattral’s got two elbows.

Wanted
A pretty cool poster here featuring lovely Ange, but take a closer look at the arm holding the gun. Either Mrs. Pitt really needs to start eating more, or the freakishly long/thin arm and hand don’t match up. Wanted: a new designer.

"Human Zoo" Tribal women forced to dance for food...

2012-01-13T07:41:00.000-08:00

Rights campaigners and politicians Wednesday condemned a video showing women from a protected and primitive tribe dancing for tourists in exchange for food on India's far-flung Andaman Islands.

British newspaper The Observer released the video showing Jarawatribal women -- some of them naked -- being lured to dance and sing after a bribe was allegedly paid to a policeman to produce them.

Under Indian laws designed to protect ancient tribal groups susceptible to outside influence and disease, photographing or coming into contact with the Jarawa is illegal.

The tribe, thought to have been among the first people to migrate successfully from Africa to Asia, lives a nomadic existence in the lush, tropical forests of the Andamans in the Bay of Bengal.

India's Tribal Affairs Minister V. Kishore Chandra Deo promised to take action over the incident, terming it "disgusting" on Wednesday, and the home ministry has sought a report.

Survival International, which lobbies on behalf of tribal groups worldwide, said the video showed tourists apparently enjoying "human zoos."

"Quite clearly, some people's attitudes towards tribal peoples haven't moved on a jot. The Jarawa are not circus ponies bound to dance at anyone's bidding," said Stephen Corry, the group's director, in a press release.

In June last year, Survival International accused eight Indian travel companies of running "human safari tours" so tourists could see and photograph the Jarawa.

The London-based lobby group called for tourists to boycott the road used to enter the reserve of theJarawa tribe, who number just 403 and are in danger of dying out.

The Andaman and Nicobar tropical island chain is home to four other rare tribes -- Onge, the Great Andamanese, the Sentinelese and the Shompens, each numbering fewer than 350 members.

Another tribe called Bo died out in January 2010.

The Andaman police downplayed the video, calling it "old" and blamed the British journalist for forcing the Jarawas to dance for the tourists.

"It is obvious that it is the videographer who is breaking the law of the land and who is inciting the tribals to dance," senior Andaman policeman S.B. Deol said in a statement.

See the video:

The Nigerian Encounter with Terror

2012-01-10T04:45:00.000-08:00

President Jonathan, in a statement that could only be seen as an indictment of his gross incompetence, openly claimed that together with his executive arm, the legislative and judiciary arms, the security forces in the country too have been infiltrated by the dreaded terrorist group known to many as Boko Haram.

Under normal circumstances, in real countries that is, an admission like this would have drawn many criticisms and outrage from the citizenry, so much so that the leader would probably have resigned by now.

An extra-terrestrial would however be forgiven for expecting this kind of outcome in Nigeria.

But most Nigerians know better.

The fact is that a typical Nigerian leader isn’t one to give power up that easily and in any case, there have neither been many criticisms nor has there been an outrage by the citizens of Nigeria, as far as this damning admission of incompetence is concerned.

Naturally, one would ask why people aren’t talking that much about this scandalous revelation; and while I was at it, the not so farfetched answer popped into my head.

The President’s revelation is not news stupid! If anything, to most Nigerians, it is even an understatement of the fact.

Nigerians have always felt themselves terrorised by the ruling class, from a president that allocates N3,000,000 of national wealth per day for his daily meals, to the legislators whose yearly salaries and allowances it would take Obama four years to earn, to a judiciary whose pronouncement of “justice is served” only stretches further, the certain assurance of the injustice that awaits you should you not be ready to submit to the dictates of their crooked court robes which exude the repugnant stench of corruption, and finally to the security forces that will tell us that they are our friends, yet inflict on us with much impunity, a cruelty that puts to shame the brutality our slave masters and colonisers, who largely regarded us as beasts of burden, used to put us in check.

Why then should Nigerians be bothered that Boko Haram has infiltrated the ranks of the country’s leadership? To most of us, this is a case of one group of terrorists infiltrating another, and it makes no difference.

For most Nigerians though, the security forces constitute the most dangerous of all terrorists because it is us that suffer their daily routines of brigandage and gangsterism, of which resistance guarantees you violence worse than every description of hell you’ve ever heard.

We’ve heard cases of hard working bus drivers being shot dead because they refused to allow themselves robbed of N20 by policemen who mount illegal roadblocks on highways, we’ve heard the case of the pregnant woman that was shot dead in front of a bank for no apparent reason, except that the officer was trigger happy, indeed, we haven’t forgotten the coldblooded murder of the Apo six, whose cries for justice still linger in limbo seven years after.

We also remember the terrifying images we saw of the extrajudicial massacre of countless civilians in Maiduguri, under the façade of fighting terrorism.

There seems to be no end in sight to the terror inflicted on Nigerians by the so called security forces. Just yesterday (09/01/2012), some people in different cities were murdered in cold blood, by terrorists within the same security forces. One of them, an innocent young man, Ademola Aderinlo, was first brutalised by these mad men in uniforms.

As if that was not enough, he was shot and killed in cold blood. His only crime was protesting against the removal of fuel subsidy by the present administration.

He never had the chance to defend himself.

The violent mad men terrorised him to death.

Mind you, these are just the acts of terrorism that we can account for. Countless others don’t even go beyond the knowledge of the terrorisers and the immediate families of the victims.

Ademola Aderinlo being brutalised by armed terrorists before he was murdered.

As I post this note, the good news of the arrest of the officers involved in the cold blooded murder of Ademola is making the rounds in the media, but don’t get excited yet; so also did good news of the arrests of the ones involved in the Apo six killings spread, only to be relegated to near irrelevance by the apathetic silence of time.

The truth is that until justice starts being served, and until it starts being seen to be served. Nigerians will forever remain hostages to one terrorist group or the other, be it Boko Haram, the security terrorist forces or the greedy gluttons in government and it will never make that much of a difference which one is infiltrating the other.

Idris Ajia.

When natural resources and Goodluck Jonathan are fucking up, magic can always be another resort

2012-01-04T13:56:00.000-08:00

With the recent event with the fuel subsidy horror going on in Nigeria, I contacted the magical ministry of communication (their headquarters is currently in Egypt.) and they have provided us with a couple of suggestions for our transport activities. All are completely magically powered, no fuel required.

Coming up on number one, is a popular transport item. It has been in use since the 1930's in Asia, but only became popular world wide in the 1990's.

Yes you guessed right, it is the Bujumbura all purpose flying carpet. It comes with baggage space and can support a family of seven. Known to go very high altitudes and in cold periods, just a brush to the side creates and invisible fore field protecting its passengers from rain, intense heat or even bird poop.
It's completely safe and comes highly recommended as the number ONE family friendly transport system.

Coming in at number two, is another popular transport system, popular in the western countries, England and Scotland especially.

Yeah you got it, it's the broomstick. Known to fly at staggering speeds. It is really not suitable for family travel but attaching it to a special carriage will solve that problem. This model is the CHIARUMBARUSCURO, with a flight speed of 250 miles per hour. There are other cheaper models which exist but which go at a much lesser speed and altitude.

We have the CHIARUSCURO BRAND BELOW, it is an earlier version.

We also have the CHIAMRUMBA, which has been fitted with a self:cushioning charm to avoid uncomfortable pains in the buttock region during long journeys.

A much cheaper model, is the CHIAMAKA edition

Another option is the VANISHING MONITOR SCREEN. It works in conjuction with facebook and skype.

It works very easily. Simply get a friend to upload the current picture of the location you want to visit or go to, and then by dialling 566284264723665 on your Skype interface, say "I solemnly regret voting for him." and wait just two seconds. IT can be very dangerous if not used properly, a couple of beta users ended up in the 1920's and 70's. Some even got themselves involved in conspiracies and stuff. Parental guidance is adviced.

The next on the list is...

The Americans always like to copy everything, and in a bid to make it better than the original they spoil things a bit. The Vacuumpalingax 261 is very effective in terms of speed but, it packs a lot of dust and sand, and it is known to cause giddiness and an intense feeling of being sucked down a tube.

The final items are not highly recommended except for the truly brave and insightful. They are transport animals such as

Hippogriffs

You can find most of em in Benin but you have to be extemely cooked because they cannot be seen with the naked eyes and if by accident you see them, chances are that they are the last things you'll see. They fly faster than any means of transport, and will attack anyone that tries to touch their riders which comes in handy with air robbery and stuffs like that.

we also have unicorns...

They are pretty useless since they can only be tamed and touched by virgins so, a lot of people won't be able to use this holy animal.

To get deals on all these means of transport please call 1800- I-solemnly-regret-voting-for-him, and I can work something out. Happy new year to ya'll.

Query for my new book: THE OTHER CHILD

2011-12-26T12:59:00.000-08:00

PLEASE WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THIS. I'm about to send this off to a literary agent, and I wanted to know your thoughts on it before I send. your comments are highly appreciated.

Mr. Peterson never gave Frederick details about his African background, tradition and beliefs simply because he was afraid that his son might get involved in dark magic and become bewitched, and it usually made him angry and disappointed whenever Frederick was more interested in hearing his best friend, Nwakaego, a superstitious African girl, tell him stories about Africa, instead of playing football and riding bikes like other normal kids his age do.

If only he had, Frederick would have learnt a few things like:

1. Singing at night brings evil spirits into the house.

2. Anything thing that can think, behave and talk like a human with no physical evidence that it owns a brain is not trustworthy.

Instead Frederick has to learn things the worst way when a spirit girl called Ify offering to help him learn how to play football and a lot of things to gain his father’s like appears to him, on the condition that he would let her possess him for a little while.

Andrew agrees, but not long after his grandmother Ofoduli, arrives from Africa.

With Nwakaego already suspicious, and with Grandma Ofoduli giving out hints in the form of folktales and legends to destroy the spirit girl, Nwakaego would have to find a way to trap the spirit before she takes over Frederick’s body completely, but not before Ify finds out what she’s up to, and kills her first.

With Frederick discovering moments of his life missing, and with Nwakaego’s disappearance causing a lot of despair within the family, Frederick would have to come clean and tell Grandma Ofoduli everything so she can help expel Ify before it is too late, which leads Frederick to learn one last crucial lesson.

When you’re in serious trouble, grandparents understand you much better than your actual parents do.

The other child is a 49,000 word multicultural fantasy book for middle grade readers with crossover potential for young adults and even older men and women of twenty to thirty something years.

fifty follower $50 giveaway Winner.

2011-12-26T12:34:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, how was Christmas, and the turkey hope it was tasty. Anyways, about the giveaway I conducted a few days back, I want to thank all of you that participated by commenting. I did the selecting of the winner using random.org, and the picture is below. I said I would mention the winner after Christmas right, or when i was up fifty follower.

Okay, i have no idea why the picture comes out smaller than I plan. Please click on the image to view. The winner is Jacinta Paul, please, send me your info and method of payment to vickyolisa73@gmail.com, and if possible, can u send a picture too so I can post it. Thank you so much you guys, keep reading, I'll be hosting another one pretty soon. I already sent you a mail.

Surprising Facts About Testosterone

2011-12-25T06:33:00.000-08:00

When most people hear the word testosterone, they think of aggressive behavior.

There is a link between the two—at least in competitive situations, such as with a peer or for a sexual partner.

However, there appears to be a subtler interplay between testosterone and behavior in other types of situations—in both men and women.

Here are a few facts about the "male hormone

Women in love have more.

Women in love have higher testosterone for the few months after a relationship starts than women who are single or in long-term relationships, a small Italian study suggests.

The opposite is true for men; those newly in love have lower testosterone than men flying solo or with a long-term partner.

As with early passion, though, the changes don't last. When the researchers tested the study participants again one to two years later, the differences had disappeared.

It can shrink your belly

Men whose levels of testosterone are below normal may lose their spare tire when treated with testosterone.

"Most of the studies show there's a reduction of abdominal obesity in men who are given testosterone," says Adrian Dobs, MD, a professor of medicine and oncology at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, in Baltimore.

Because the long-term effects of testosterone therapy have not been well studied, however, it is generally only recommended in men with below-normal testosterone levels and symptoms such as fatigue, muscle or bone-mass loss, or sexual dysfunction.

Making money affects it

Young men who are futures traders get a testosterone spike on days when they make an above-average profit, British researchers found.

And on the mornings when men's testosterone levels were higher than average, their average afternoon profits were higher than on their low-testosterone days, suggesting a possible cause-and-effect relationship.

More experienced traders showed an even stronger tie between testosterone and profits.

Too much can shrivel testicles

In men, taking steroid hormones such as testosterone as performance boosters can cause testicles to shrink and breasts to grow. For women, it can cause a deeper voice, an enlarged clitoris, hair loss from the head, and hair growth on the body and face.

In both genders, steroid abuse can cause acne, mood swings, aggression, and other problems.

Men working with an experienced doctor to treat low testosterone or women taking small amounts of testosterone under medical supervision are unlikely to have testosterone-overdose symptoms.

Sports fans get a winner's boost

In the run-up to a competition, whether it's wrestling or chess, a man's testosterone levels rise, studies have shown.

After the game, the winner's testosterone will increase even more. And fans' hormone levels seem to mirror those of their athletic idols. In a group of 21 men watching a Brazil vs. Italy World Cup match, the Brazil fans' testosterone levels increased after their team won, but the Italy fans' testosterone fell.

Fat can lower testosterone

Obese men tend to have lower testosterone than thinner men, Dr. Dobs says. It's not clear why, she adds, although one possible reason is that obesity promotes a state of widespread inflammation in the body.

"When there's fat cells, there's a lot of inflammatory factors," she says. "These inflammatory factors have been associated with suppression of testosterone synthesis."

Hands reveal hormone secrets

In men and boys, the right pointer finger is shorter in relation to their right ring finger than it is in girls.

This has even been found in other five-fingered creatures, such as rats. Scientists have found that the difference is a clear marker for fetal exposure to testosterone. The higher your testosterone level before birth, the lower your pointer-finger-to-ring-finger ratio.

Men with the lowest ratios made the most money and stayed in business for the longest time, according to the U.K. study of traders and testosterone

Low levels are linked to sleep apnea

Men with sleep apnea are more likely to have low testosterone, and treating sleep apnea can help return it to normal.

But if a man with sleep apnea is diagnosed with low testosterone alone, taking the supplemental hormone can worsen sleep apnea. That's why it's crucial for men with low testosterone to get a thorough workup by an endocrinologist so underlying conditions that can cause low testosterone, such as sleep apnea or pituitary-gland tumors, don't go undiagnosed, Dr. Goodman says.

It may hurt men's hearts

In 2010, researchers halted a study of testosterone therapy in older men because of a higher rate of cardiovascular problems such as heart attack in the group taking testosterone instead of placebo.

The reason isn't clear, but caution should be used in prescribing testosterone to older men in poor health, Dr. Goodman says. Declining testosterone in men is associated with health problems, but this doesn't mean giving older men testosterone will extend lifespans, he says.

Too much may kill brain cells

It's only known to happen in a petri dish, but Yale researchers showed that nerve cells exposed to high levels of testosterone were more likely to self-destruct. The hormone boosted a "cell suicide" mechanism known as apoptosis, which, under normal circumstances, is supposed to help the body wipe out cancerous or otherwise abnormal cells.

And the higher the testosterone level in the dish, the shorter lived the cells were. Exposure to low levels of testosterone, however, had no effect on the cells.

Crazy yet amazing photos

2011-12-24T16:39:00.000-08:00

A woman dressed up as a zombie takes part in a "Zombie Walk" at the Revolution Monument in Mexico City on November 26, 2011. According to the organization, 9,600 people took part in the event in an attempt to set a new Guinness record.

People walk past an activist during an Animal Naturalis demonstration to promote vegetarianism in central Barcelona, December 15, 2011

Brazil's Santos striker Borges celebrates his goal against Japan's Kashiwa Reysol during their semi-final match of the Club World Cup at the Toyota Stadium in Toyota, Aichi prefecture on December 14, 2011

A monkey drinks soda from a can during the annual "monkey buffet" in front of an ancient temple in Lopburi province, some 150 kms north of Bangkok on November 27, 2011. More than 2,000 kilos of fruits and vegetables were offered to monkeys during the annual festival to help promote tourism in the area.

Etibar Elchiyev poses with 50 metal spoons magnetized to his body during an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for "Most spoons on a human body" in Tbilisi December 14, 2011.

Kangaroos are seen during round one of the Australian PGA golf tournament in Coolum on November 24, 2011. The Australian PGA golf tournament runs from November 24-27, and features international players competing for the Kirkwood Cup.

Christian Esquivel of Mexico receives a punch from Shinsuke Yamanaka of Japan during their World Boxing Council (WBC) bantamweight title bout in Tokyo November 6, 2011

An Indian pedestrian walks past the newly constructed upside down architectural clubhouse 'Caracella Club' which stands in part of a recent development at Indirapuram some 30kms south-east of New Delhi on November 29, 2011. India's Real Estate developer ABA Group launched the unique 'upside down' building which takes inspiration from Roman architectural designs, reportedly the third inverted building in the world

William Chavarriaga, 49-year-old cleaner at the Olaya Herrera Airport, poses as a cartoon character "Popeye the Sailor" during an interview with local media in Medellin January 17, 2011. Chavarriaga, who looks like the character Popeye, said he has been entertaining his friends and colleagues from the past 30 years. He said he continues playing Popeye because he likes the attention.

CHICAGO, IL - OCTOBER 28: Halloween masks of Muammar Gaddafi, Osama bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein are offered for sale at Fantasy Costumes on October 28, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. The store, which had long lines at the registers at 4 AM this morning, is open around the clock through Halloween to help keep up with customer demand. Retailers nationwide are expecting record sales for Halloween merchandise this year with shoppers spending close to $7 billion dollars to celebrate the holiday.

Zoo performer Theerapone Manolai smiles as he puts his head between the jaws of a crocodile during a performance for tourists at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo, about 120 km (74 miles) east of Bangkok August 16, 2011. Kanthida Jantanct and Theerapone, both 28, from the province of Chaiyaphum, who have been crocodile performers at the zoo for almost ten years, earn at least 30,000 Baht (1,000 USD) per month for performing shows for at least 2,000 tourists, three times a day, to support their family.

Ana Julia Torres kisses Jupiter, a lion who was rescued from a circus 12 years ago, on September 17, 2011, at Villa Lorena shelter, in Cali, Valle del Cauca department, Colombia. Torres, a 52 year-old teacher, founded the Villa Lorena animal shelter 17 years ago, which protects about 600 animals seized from drug traffickers, circuses, animal traffickers or abandoned by their owners.

Revellers run away from a bull during festivities in honour of the patron saint of Masaya, San Jeronimo, about 25 km (16 miles) south of Managua September 30, 2011. The festivities for San Jeronimo last for three months and are considered the longest in Nicaragua

Things That Piss me Off #3

2011-12-24T12:54:00.000-08:00

It pisses me off when I ask someone for advice, and then they pause to think for a while before asking you what you think first. As if, if you knew what you think you would be having this conversation with them.

It pisses me off when someone advices me not to do something, but being me, I go ahead and do it, and when it backfires, they gloat and render that popular I told you so like it’s a fracking mantra.

It pisses me off when I’m trying to do something really difficult for someone, and just when I’m about getting a breakthrough the person impatiently comes and tries to take over, and then spoils everything finally. I always try to keep a straight face, but deep down I’m dying of laughter.

It pisses me off when Ajebutters try to form Ajepacos, and in the end they end up buying something worth 1000naira, for 35,000. Okay I exaggerated here, but you get.

It pisses me off when Some Nollywood actors and actresses try to act janded and use unnecessary cutlery in, and they’re not confident about it, or the food keeps dropping, or worse, the knife and fork are in the wrong hands. For Jenifa’s sake, use spoon. The keyword is some

It pisses me off when you comment on how nice someone’s outfit is, and instead of saying “Thanks” he/she tells you “I know.” When in the first place you were only trying to make them feel good about themselves, and the outfit was truly horrible.

It pisses me off when people lie to me stupidly, like I’m an idiot. If I am being lied to, I expect to be lied to properly and with some respect.

It Pisses me off when people ask for followers on twitter then when they get their huge numbers, they unfollow you.

It pisses me off when I try to call someone and they don’t pick, then the next moment you try calling again, their numbers are busy. Seriously, am I that irrelevant.

It pisses me off when my internet subscription is ended and I’m in a WIFI hot spot zone but when I try to log in I discover they’re all password protected.

It pisses me off when parents compare us kids to other kids as if they’re so much better than us.

It pisses me off when I’m not sure if the subtweet if for me or not.

It pisses me off when I’ve gotten comfortable under my blanket, and suddenly I realize I have to go to the toilet.

It pisses me off when I decided that I would go to bed early in order to wake up to read, instead I spend the whole night watching movies.

It pisses me off when a student gets 93% in his test and is crying and feeking bad when other people, myself included barely made it past the 54% cut off mark.

It pisses me off when I’m stuck with one line from a song, and I have no idea where I heard it from or who sang it.

Rihanna Shows Off New Grill

2011-12-23T06:05:00.000-08:00

Pop superstar Rihanna has never been shy about tattoos. So why should a grill for her teeth be any different? The 23-year-old recentlyshowed off her new golden grill in a sneak peek for her upcoming video "You Da One."

Rihanna's new dental accessory is causing no small amount of interest on the Web. The grill appears be to be gold and covers only the lower half of her mouth. For those who aren't well versed, most grills are removable, but sometimes the grill is permanently attached.

Of course, Rihanna is far from the first person to cover her teeth with gold or diamonds. Kanye Westand Lil' Wayne have both done it. In fact, Lil' Wayne's grill is pretty much permanent. During aninterview with Jimmy Kimmel, he said, "The grills ... the grills, they come out. These don't, I'm going to die with these. So these are my teeth. I can go to the dentist and switch them out, but it's surgery."

No word on whether Rihanna made a similar commitment. However, the language Rihanna uses in a video that shows her getting fitted for the grill implies that it isn't permanent. "I'm getting a grill made," Rihanna mumbles, "for an upcoming video shoot." To us, that translates to: "Don't freak out, fans; it's temporary."

That would probably be a smart move, businesswise. In addition to having a singing career, Rihanna is a spokesmodel for CoverGirl. Something tells us the company wouldn't be too thrilled if Rihanna couldn't remove her golden grill during photo shoots.

Check out Rihanna getting fitted for her grill in the video below.

What if Disney Princesses were desperate housewives: Free MTC or LIFE Giveaway to my UKR/Naija followers

2011-12-22T09:56:00.000-08:00

To my facebooks friends, I posted this picture on facebook. Well, here is the deal. If you can give me the names of all these princesses, and the names of the desperate housewives they portray, I am giving away free life credit to a lucky commenter if the comments get to fifty. If the comments exceed fifty, I will be giving one lucky commenter MTC subscription for a month.

To enter this contest you have to already be following me on Google connect and network your blog.

To my readers that are not in Ukraine, you can also join in the fun, or better yet, click on THIS LINK for the international giveaway. It would however be nice of you to answer for the fun of it if you have the time.

The giveaway is valid until I close the thread.

Freaky picture Wednesday: The Ultimate Symbiosis

2011-12-21T13:07:00.000-08:00

I don't know what made me seek out this picture. I think I was looking for a picture to portray the caption: Do not mock God, and I found this.

Now I'm sure at one point in our life we did Biology no matter how elementary so I believe we all know the meaning of symbiosis.

WHat's that I hear? You don't?

Okay symbiosis is a close and often long-term interaction between different biological species... Symbiotic relationships include those associations in which one organism lives on another (ectosymbiosis, such as mistletoe), or where one partner lives inside the other (endosymbiosis, such as lactobacilli and other bacteria in humans or zooxanthelles in corals).

Now I know what you're going to say, those animals don't exactly live on each other, or it contradicts what the definition of symbyosis reads, well, for the sake of this post, let's assume there's no contradiction.

But isn't that nice. Imagine a world where a lion uses it's claws to scratch a deer or a goat's back because it can bear to see them scratch it themselves on hard floor and walls or a world where a baboon helps a lion plait its mane of hair into neat cornrows so that they don't interfere when he is having a meal.

Or better still imagine when a lioness can leave her kids with a hyena, while the lions are having a night out just so she can sneak into another lion's den and have a one night stand, instead of remaining with one lion forever just because he happens to be the most dominant male in the den.

Or a crocodile chatting up with a hippopotamus about when the tide is going to be high so they can remain on a healthy meal of just fish and grass.

Or a snake paying a couple of beavers with it's shed skin just so they can build underground tunnels complete with cooling and irrigation systems, where it can pass freely without having to startle humans.

Let's face it, all these are far realistic dreams than the dreams we harbor that someday, all of mankind will turn a new leaf and start being considerate, praying for one another, and helping out where they can. I hope you enjoyed freaky picture Wednesday post, I hope I see something freaky soon to top this post.

Rihanna – You Da One (Video Shoot)

2011-12-21T10:06:00.001-08:00

BLACK AND WHITE CHRISTMAS PARTY: Free ticket giveaway

2011-12-21T01:24:00.000-08:00

You’re excited about the BLACK AND WHITE CHRISTMAS PARTY. OBVIOUSLY!!!!

It shows in your eyes, in the way you talk about it, even in the outfit you’ve selected just for that night. Heck you might have even selected three outfits but you’re not sure of which one to wear. Or worse, you’re not even sure you want to go!!!

Can I convince you?

Well, what if I tell you that there are going to be three separate DJs to provide you with mind-blowing music from hip-hop to R&B, including dance hall?

What if I tell you that there’s going to be free drinks for ladies and VIP members, or that stars such as Charmlex, Mr. Flo (lugansk) Pablo, Chriz, Shine and Aliciaka Lucy would be performing at the event?

As if all of that is not enough to convince you, what if I add that DJ Euphoria, the official DJ is going to be spinning her discs topless.

Why are you still reading this!!!!!

GET YOUR GINGER ON!!!

Because come 25^th of December, by 22:00 we’re all going to be Kharkov bound, and the rest ain't up to yours truly.

NB: Just in case you are feeling lucky, add a comment stating how much you want to go for the party, who knows you might be the lucky recipient of the free tickets I will be giving out.

If Mary and Joseph Used Facebook.

2011-12-20T22:21:00.001-08:00

Biggest Celebrity Splits of 2011

2011-12-20T13:05:00.000-08:00

Two months after Kutcher had a one-night stand with San Diego party girl Sara Leal, Moore ended their six-year marriage. "As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life," she told Us.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18758#ixzz1h6rzkZ3s

On July 15, the spouses of seven years -- and parents to twins Max and Emme -- announced their split. "This was a very difficult decision," they told Us in a statement. One major issue? "He hated the fact that she was a sex symbol," a source said.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18744#ixzz1h6sQiAOr

More than 10 million viewers tuned in to see the couple's E! wedding special, but after 72 days of marriage, Kardashian filed for divorce from the NBA player in October. "Sometimes things don't work out as planned," she told Us in a statement.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18568#ixzz1h6sXVO3y

The spouses terminated their 25-year marriage in May after Shriver learned that Schwarzenegger had fathered an illegitimate child with their maid, Mildred "Patty" Baena. Two months later, Shriver -- who has four kids with the former California governor -- officially filed for divorce.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18482#ixzz1h6scIKOX

In February, the "La La" singer filed for divorce from the Fall Out Boy rocker after nearly three years of marriage. "We remain friends and deeply committed and loving parents to our son Bronx, whose happiness and well-being remains our number one priority," they told Us in a statement.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18490#ixzz1h6sie0d2

In November, the hotelier and the E! comedienne called it quits after less than a year of dating, Handler's rep confirmed to Us. Unlike her previous beaus, Handler rarely made fun of Balazs, "because he has kids, so I have to be nice."

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18499#ixzz1h6t92kYX

The Scream 4 star and the Ukrainian heavyweight boxing champion ended their two-year romance in May. "Even though we've decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends," Panettiere told Us.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18501#ixzz1h6tIGzeK

The Formula One racing champ and The X Factor judge began dating in 2008, but their love affair ended in October 2011. "They were just never together and saw no end to that," a source told Us. "Being apart that much never works, so they decided to end it."

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/biggest-celebrity-splits-of-2011-20111511/18749#ixzz1h6uRoiQ8

2011's Pop Shockers

2011-12-20T12:37:00.000-08:00

It's good fun looking back at the year in crazy for musicians. As long as we have the likes of Courtney Love, Chris Brown and Steven Tyler around, there's going to be something that'll cause us to shake our heads in puzzlement. Here's a wrap-up of wacky things musicians were up to this year.

In October, Diddy also had to make peace with the gay community after calling a fellow bar patron an anti-gay slur -- for drinking the wrong brand of vodka. The guy was drinking Grey Goose; Diddy shills for Ciroc. In a series of apologetic tweets, he pleaded, "I'm sorry for the ignorant way I represented myself ... I know better and I am better ... I have a responsibility that I promise I will live up to. I'm more disappointed in myself than you'll ever know."

In November, Justin Bieber's squeaky-clean image almost took a dive when he was accused of fathering a child after a bathroom tryst. He fought back hard, volunteering to take an immediate paternity test and then bringing the entire legal weight of the Bieber empire down on his accuser. She quickly and quietly withdrew her lawsuit. Likewise, Taylor Swift quickly put down a fake topless photo of herself with threats of strong legal action against any website spreading the fake. It sent a message: Don't mess with the young ones; they'll fight back.

Chris Brown lost his mind on "Good Morning America" in March when he was asked about Rihanna, even though he knew beforehand he'd be asked about Rihanna. While insisting in the interview that he had "moved past that" in his life, his actions suggested otherwise. Several screaming fits, a couple of confrontations, a thrown chair, a smashed window and one trashed dressing room later, Brown was photographed storming down a Manhattan street, shirtless. He later tweeted, "I'm so over people bringing this past s--- up!!! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for there bulls---." When Charlie Sheen is your defense, you've really messed up. In the months since, however, Brown seems to have regained his footing, and notched serious hits to boot.

Rihanna, on the other hand, has clearly moved on. While other celebs tried to stem leaks of nude photos, Rihanna went topless in an Irish wheat field in September while filming a music video for "We Found Love." The farmer who rented her the land for the shoot promptly got off his tractor gave her a proper dressing-down. Seriously.

A Michael Jackson "tribute" concert in Wales in October was widely derided as a money grab, and despite the presence of talents such as Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Ne-Yo (right), Jamie Foxx (left), Smokey Robinson and Gladys Knight, ticket scalpers took a huge loss on the event. Jennifer Hudson bowed out of the show, without even bothering to tell the producers, but through Twitter

Riri rants: RIHANNA RAGES OVER MAGAZINE'S RACIAL SLUR

2011-12-20T12:20:00.000-08:00

Just days after Rihanna tweeted about a confrontation she had with a tighty-whities-clad bigot at a hotel in Portugal, she's taking a stand over another prejudiced party. On Monday, the Barbadian chanteuse slammed the editor of popular Dutch fashion magazine Jackie, which published an article that referred to her with a combined racist and sexist term, mashing together the n-word and the b-word.

Feel free to take a moment to slam your head on your desk and wonder if the world really is going to end in 2012.

The piece, translated by Parlour magazine, which also has a screenshot, is accompanied by a photo of Rihanna and is execrable in every way.

"Rihanna, the good girl gone bad, is the ultimate [n-word][b-word]," it reads, before implying that she's from Jamaica and casually calling her caboose a "ghetto a--."

RiRi was not pleased.

"I hope u can read english," she railed to Jackie Editor-in-Chief Eva Hoeke on Twitter, "because your magazine is a poor representation of the evolution of human rights! I find you disrespectful, and rather desperate!! You ran out of legit, civilized information to print!"

Notes Rihanna, "There are 1000's of Dutch girls who would love to be recognized for their contributions to your country, you could have given them an article. Instead, u paid to print one degrading an entire race! That's your contribution to this world! To encourage segregation, to mislead the future leaders to act in the past!"

And then she really picked up steam.

"You put two words together, with the intent of abasement, that made no sense," the chart-topper fumed. "Well with all respect, on behalf of my race, here are my two words for you ...[BLEEP] YOU!!!"

Best as we can tell, the intent of the Jackie piece was to show moms how to dress their daughters like Rihanna, in "pink shizzle and everything that glitters." (Yes, the word "shizzle" was used, a journalistic crime that should result in prison time.)

The magazine's editor addressed the controversy on Facebook, insisting the "author meant no harm," and the double-whammy slur "was intended as a joke" (because racism is apparently a rich comedy vein to tap).

Acknowledged the editor, "It was naive to think that this was an acceptable form of slang -- you hear it all the time on TV and radio, then your idea of what is normal apparently shifts."

Who said it Celeb quiz, add answers as comment below.

2011-12-20T11:40:00.000-08:00

Lots of stars made the news in 2011, but a handful of them provided quotes that we will take with us forever. Scroll through and see if you can figure out which celeb dropped which memorable one-liner this year.

Christina Hendricks and Katy Perry have crowd-pleasing curves, but which one turned to a higher power to get her body?

"I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11. And God answered that prayer above and beyond, by, like, 100 times, until I was like, 'Please stop, God. I can't see my feet anymore. Please stop!"

Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz both have the funds to bathe like royalty, but which one joked that their high-end cleanse is not brand-specific?

"There's this rumor I only wash my face with Evian water. It's the craziest thing! I mean, there are so many other kinds of bottled water I wash my face with."

Lea Michele and Owen Wilson both have noticeable noses, but which one was interested in seeing it in a different dimension?

"In 3D, my nose is going to look fabulous."

Anne Hathaway and Natalie Portman have both had their dating ups and downs before falling in love, but which star says they weren't exactly every guy's type?

"I'm convinced that a few guys I've dated are gay, and they won't admit it."

Sarah Silverman and Snooki know that everybody does it, but which says it sometimes happens when she least expects it?

"When I'm really excited about something, I poop."

Both Brad Pitt and Sean Penn have grown up a great deal over he years, but which one says he is completely different dude today?

"I spent the '90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic."

Freaky picture Tuesday: My Harry Potter moment. Warning, Hexed post for non Hp fans

2011-12-20T09:54:00.000-08:00

I was coming back from a friend's place, walking pretty quickly because for one thing, it was cold, and for another it was really dark and it was an alleyway where hippies and other drunks usually hand around. And then, at one desrted clearing, near a pile of unspeakable things, I saw this:

To an untrained eye of course it's an ordinary dirty old boot, but to an experienced Harry Potter wizard's or witch's eye, or Harry Potter fans such as myself, we know what this is. It's a portkey no doubt. Thank God for Blackberry, I was able to capture this epic moment.

Any one who has read Harry Potter or at least watched the movie knows the function of a portkey.

A portkey is an object enchanted to instantly bring anyone touching it to a specific location. Most of the time, a portkey is an everyday object that would not draw attention to a muggle. Things such as boots, hangers, hair brush and a list of other random things are good examples of portkeys. Traveling by portkey is said to feel like having a hook somewhere behind the navel, pulling the traveler to their location

Which brings me to my last picture. I think it goes without saying that I might have to disinfect that glove but I just could not resist, I'm sure other HP fans would agree. So I touched it, and even though it was about half an hour later, I reached my location, HOME.

Watch the video guys, thanks.

North Koreans weeping hysterically over the death of Kim Jong-il

2011-12-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's just me sha, but the cry too much, haba. It has even inspired me to read on his history deeper. What do you guys think?

I am crying now too.

My Aunt Raped Me At 13!" - Ice Prince Panshak Zamani

2011-12-19T13:13:00.000-08:00

“I started singing in the choir when I was about 15,” he begins. “And at 13 I had my first sexual encounter. I would not say it was a good thing at all. It’s something I regret whatever it was. It wasn’t a sweet experience at all. I had this aunty, though we were not related, she was just a neighbor who was living close to us, who came into my room and slept with me.
“It wasn’t a good experience at all. I was scared, very scared. I saw hell. It was a terrible experience. I am not excited talking about it at all. Sex is not that good. I think sex is over-rated. I don’t know.
“She just came into my room and just forced me to do it with her… Oh, let’s not talk about it. I was so young and innocent. But she made me lose my innocence. The woman is still alive. I don’t think I have even seen her since then.”

Barcelona beat Santos to win Club World Cup

2011-12-19T00:54:00.000-08:00

Lionel Messi grabbed a classy brace as the "artists" of Barcelona out-classed the Brazilians Santos 4-0 to lift the Club World Cup Sunday and confirm their status as the best team on the planet.

The clash between the European and South American champions in Japan had been billed as a showdown between Messi, widely acknowledged as the best player in the world, and 19-year-old Brazilian sensation Neymar.

In the event, it was no contest -- either between the two supreme talents or their teams -- as Barcelona picked up their second world crown after winning the competition in 2009, when Messi was again the difference.

Barca boss Pep Guardiola called his men "artists" and dedicated the 13th title in his three-and-a-half years in charge to striker David Villa, who flew home after fracturing his shin in the semi-final and faces five months out.

"We missed him very much. I talked to him a lot (since the bad injury) and I want to talk to him tonight," said Guardiola, full of praise for his side who wore t-shirts in honour of their missing team-mate.

"They were like artists," he said, turning to their spectacular performance that secured the official title as the world's best side and saw the Catalan club net a cool $5 million.

"What was envisioned in their minds happened on the pitch."

Messi, set up by Xavi, got the first after 17 minutes, before Xavi put Barcelona 2-0 up just seven minutes later to put them firmly in control, as prodigious forward Neymar struggled to get a sniff of the ball.

Cesc Fabregas, who pulled the strings in midfield, got the third on the stroke of half-time as the Spanish champions, who were at full-strength, threatened to run riot for the packed house of 68,166.

Messi got his second eight minutes from time as he rounded the keeper to roll the ball in after the influential Dani Alves threaded the ball through to him.

"We are extremely happy and our performance, especially in the first-half, was very satisfactory," said Guardiola, who declined to single out one player for more praise than the rest.

"I've tried to get the players to work together as a team and use the strengths they have. Our players have been playing very well, but it's important to keep that level going."

His opposite number Muricy Ramalho said there was no disgrace in defeat.

"Barcelona have played various teams around the world and nobody can beat them. Eventually some team may, but I don't think it's possible now," he said.

"This was not embarrassing and it was not a blow to us. We need to be humble -- we were beaten by the best team in the world," he said, adding Messi was without doubt the best but that Neymar would one day take that title.

Barca had the better of an open first 15 minutes, Messi forcing a save out of Rafael Cabral after skipping a couple of half-hearted Santos challenges.

Shortly after that the Argentine was at it again, taking a dinked pass from Xavi and lifting the ball delicately over Cabral from just a few yards out to put the Catalans into an early lead at the International Stadium in Yokohama.

It was all Barca, so it was no surprise when they went further ahead on 24 minutes, full-back Alves driving down the right wing and cutting inside to set up Xavi, who rifled the ball past an exposed Cabral.

Television cameras quickly focused on a glum-looking Neymar.

Still Barca and Messi kept coming. On 26 minutes he was denied by a terrific last-gasp tackle when through on goal, and three minutes later Fabregas struck Cabral's post after he was set up by Xavi.

Fabregas and Barca would not be denied, as the former Arsenal man grabbed the third just before half-time after more good link-up play -- including an audacious back-heel -- from the irrepressible Messi.

Belatedly, the Brazilian side were up for it after Ramalho had sent them out onto the frigid pitch well ahead of their opponents.

Neymar should have found the net when clean through on goal just before the hour, but Victor Valdes saved well with his legs. It summed up the teenager's night.

Messi put the gloss on a polished performance from him and his side as he showed trademark deft footwork to dance around Cabral and walk the ball in for the fourth.

Fifty followers, $50 International Christmas Giveaway and lots of Freebies.

2011-12-18T13:27:00.000-08:00

Okay so I posted something on my facebook profile status, and got the most amazing comment ever.

The picture didn't appear as big as I hoped so here's my status: I WRITE LIKE JK ROWLING REALLY?

random/friend on face book: Yeah you kind of do, I started reading your book on my kindle and the writing's similar.

On that awesome note, I decided to do a giveaway YAY!!!!

To enter this contest, you have to follow me either via Google friend connect, or Facebook or Twitter. Following me on all three qualifies you for three entries, which means your chances are tripled.

The buttons are on both sides of blog. When you're done, be sure to leave a comment with your name and address, as i mark fifty followers, or immediately after Christmas, I will announce the winners. Yeah it's that simple.

But there's more:

In addition to the fifty dollars, I will be giving away my books too free but too only my Ukrainian readers. It is important to know that my book is the best selling book in Zaporozhye amongst the Nigerians, Indians and some English speaking Ukrainians, and only the Krok book has beaten its sales by a very small margin. There is no Nigerian or Indian in Zaporozhye that has not heard of the book. I've gotten a lot of requests from people from Lugansk, Crimea and Kharkov, and I've decided to answer.

If the cover of the book is not amazing enough, click on the image and read the summary

Method of Payment would be either by PayPal for my friends in countries where Paypal is functional, or Western Union to my Nigerian readers and others.

For my readers in Ukraine, I will simply use Privat monet, and send a copy of the book through post.

As the views on my blog increase at a GP rate, I think you can now place ads.

Willow Smith (Feat. Nicki Minaj) - Fireball

2011-12-17T15:03:00.000-08:00