Life is Simple, It's Just Not Easy.

Let's Try This Again!

2023-01-27T22:20:00.002-05:00

It's 2023... I haven't written in this blog for YEARS.

I am back and more ready than ever to keep up with this thing. I want to document the big events in our lives, my journey to weight loss, the fun adventures and growth that I have working on my Rebel Badges and the updates that I do to my house.

I want to work on me this year.

In all ways possible.

Come along on what is sure to be a wild ass journey.

Christmas and First Week of Dieting!

2014-12-12T12:08:00.000-05:00

Hiii friends.

Christmas fever is in full force here. I am spending all of my income from the Shop on gifts for those I want to spoil this season. The kids have waaaay too many gifts under the tree so I've been fueling my need for spending by shopping for random people -- for example... I am giving the mail man a gift card because he deals with at least 2 boxes a day from my sales. I hope he uses it to buy something warm :)

As far as dieting. I didn't make it through the week without cheating, I mean, honestly, who can skip the Christmas treats?

My results are:

-8 pounds
-2 waist inches

I would say that is a successful first week! I am heading into week #2 and I am feeling confident and excited. I hope to drop 5-8 more pounds this week by clean eating and using my drops.

My ultimate goal for Phase 2 is 20lbs. Let's go, Kayla, let's go!

I hope everyone is having a nice holiday season. I can't wait to share what "Santa" (aka, myself) brought me!

Xoxo!

Good Things!

2014-11-21T23:34:00.001-05:00

Hi friends!

So my last post was about Asa not having a job... well...

Monday, early afternoon, he got a call from an IT department lead for a marketing company and he wanted Husband to come in Tuesday and interview. Husband's interview was for 4pm and the company is located about 35 miles from home. I had taken a nap and woken up to a bunch of missed calls and messages so automatically, I assumed the worst. By the time I realized he had be calling for an hour, he was walking up the steps to our bedroom.

The department lead hired him ON. THE. SPOT.

He started Wednesday, not even a full day after he interviewed.

It seriously could not have been any easier. I cried like a baby when I found out the good news.
He is settling in to his new job fast and they are so pleased with his progress and quick ability to work. He's doing scripting and software development so he keeps finding mistakes that other people have made and making his boss suuuper happy :)

So now I will continue to wish evil things upon the bitch that made up stories and fired Husband (and got his unemployment denied). I hope she has a TERRIBLE Christmas. Karma is a bitch!

Babies are great - we just celebrated Little Miss being home from the NICU for 2 years on the 19th and Little Man gets his date on the 27th!

Stress Overload.

2014-11-07T22:01:00.001-05:00

The kids are in bed and I told myself that I would start taking the time to document the bigger moments in our lives -- so here goes.

A few weeks ago, Husband lost his job. It was a bunch of stupid shit that went on that lead to the ultimate firing - but it shouldn't have happened to begin with. He was with his old company for 5 years and he ONLY left because of the chance to work 1 minute from the house and be home every night for dinner, weekends off. We thought it was going to be the best thing ever but we were so wrong, so so wrong.

From the second week, his boss was treating him like shit. He tolerated it because well, he had no choice. He thought once they hired a second person to do the same job as him, that all of the crap would be evenly distributed. NOPE. She continued to treat Husband like shit and let the new kid get away with murder.

I mean, come on. He freaked bonused every 3 months at his old job, had a team of 20 people, barely had any negative feedback, he was a great employee.

Who fires someone at holiday time? With twins. Bills. A family. Honestly.
I have wished bad things upon this lady and I know that I shouldn't but I do. I am so stressed.
We are behind in all of our bills and I had to sign up for WIC. We are fighting with unemployment currently. He had an interview on Wednesday and we thought we would hear from them today and nothing. I am so scared.

So sick to my stomach.

I have 2 year olds!

2014-10-28T15:32:00.000-04:00

I started this blog years ago with hopes that I might be lucky enough to have a mommy journey to chronicle. Once the babies came, I knew it was going to be near impossible to keep up with updates. I can't say I am surprised but it also makes me kind of sad because I wanted to turn my blog into a book for them to read eventually.

Anyway! The Monsters turned 2 about a month ago and we gave them a PB&J themed party :)

It went great and we had a blast. I think there were like 40 people in and out the whole day, it was CHAOS in our moderate sized house. Next year, we are renting a hall FOR SURE. I can't handle the mess and the prep here. Nope!

What else? Oh, Husband lost his job last week so we are in a panic. He's been applying for jobs up to 90 miles away but I really don't want him to end up having to drive. I guess we will have to see what happens. We are going to run out of money sometime within the next 2 weeks so dude has to get a job, stat!

I've been working my butt off to promote and get through orders from the SHOP and it has been nuts. I am busier now than I normally am (which is great) and I am trying to be a mommy, wife, friend, daughter, sister AND student on top of it all.

Speaking of student.... I have gotten ALL A's in my courses, except for one! Dammit. She was too much a wench to give me decent grades ;) Nah, I am sure that I deserved the B, because I seriously hated that class more than you can imagine!

Off to put Little Dude down for a late nap becaaaause he's fussing and it is driving me nuts. Oh yes, naps are becoming non-existent. LORD HELP ME NOW!

Xoxo,
Kayla!

My Eyes Burn!

2014-06-08T00:32:00.002-04:00

Ahhh, I am exhausted.

We have been saving up to redo some of the exterior of the house... such as painting the siding (because we can't afford to get new this year), refinishing the deck, building columns for the front porch, painting the front door, and adding new fixtures. I am HOPING this makes our house look a little less like an eyesore in a nice neighborhood. We also have everything we need in the garage to put up a new fence but just haven't had the time. We put up the kids' new swing set and playhouse last week :)

So we decided VERY last minute to take a trip to Myrtle Beach and we leave in, get this, 2 days! I am a big ol' ball of stress trying to get the house cleaned, my college course work done (because I'm an idiot and it's FINALS WEEK), all of our laundry done, suitcases packed, things planned, bills paid.... you get the point! Once we are there, I hope it is as stress free as possible (with 2 toddlers and an infant) and fun.

And, hilariously, right before I leave, I get 4 orders through my Etsy store. I am for sure placing that thing on vacation mode because I don't want to keep hearing the email alerts the entire time I'm having adventures with my family and best friend at the beach!

Until next post (probably from sunny South Carolina),

xoxoxo!

I'm BaaaCCckkKKK!

2014-05-25T05:15:00.001-04:00

Hello everyone in Blogger land! It's been 7 months-ish since I've written and I decided to write at least once a week. I have a few entries that are private, mostly for my memories, so I want to come back and share new things!

So what's been going on?

I'm almoooooooost at my 5 year mark of being in remission from Melanoma. I can't say I'm cancer "free" because technically, cancer never leaves your body, it's just dormant -- but I still tell everyone I am cancer free ;)

The twins are almost 20 months old - uh WHAT?
They are incredibly smart and so much fun anymore.
Developmentally, from being premature, they are a little behind for kids their age - but not far at ALL. In fact, they're actually amazing the NICU follow-up team with their smart ways. :)

We are still working on the house, as it was far from perfect when we moved in. We are currently putting all of our extra money into the outside. We just bought fencing for the whole backyard, and finally paid off the swingset that I put in layaway back in March. Our next project is closing off the deck railings and priming and painting the siding. We can't afford to pull off and redo the whole house this summer so we are hoping to have a little nest egg saved for siding next Spring.

My little business is doing amazing! I am busy enough to have an order about every 3 days, now. I am absolutely in love with my "hobby" and I am hoping that I can make enough money to cut back at work and stay home a little more.

Oh and I am taking courses online to finally finish up my degree. I will be done in May of next year but I think I am planning to go on to a Bachelor's with an additional certification in my area of choice.

As you can see, I have a ton on my plate but I have missed everyone in Blogger-land so I am back and here to stay -- this time I PROMISE!

Can't wait to snoop on everyone's blogs and catch up!

Xoxo -

Kayla

We're Still Around!

2013-11-01T14:12:00.000-04:00

I have been Blogger stalking a TON lately but I have had about -12 hours a day to actually sit and write one.

The babies are ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! How did THAT happen?

We are settled into our new house, finally.

I am working a lot more than I should be.... but... this is good because

My business (here) is doing great!! :)

Husband is changing to a new schedule which means we will FINALLY have a day off together - ON THE WEEKEND!

Annnnnnd how did I guess a baby would start to cry when I started to write this? ;)

Happy ICLW!

2013-05-20T18:15:00.000-04:00

If you're new here, I'm going to guuueeess you've come from ICLW :)

Well, welcome!

I'm Kayla! I'm 25 years old and I'm a mama to 7.5 month old boy/girl twins. They're preemies - they came 12 weeks early but they're so perfect it's painful ;) I'm a cancer survivor (Melanoma) and a huge advocate. Don't expect me to comment (nicely) on any posts regarding tanning/sunburns because it makes me so sad/angry :) What else? I'm married, I live in a small Ohio town and I take care of old people for a (temporary) living and run a small party decor making business, too (which you can find here)! Oh and we just bought a house - so eventually I'll post before & after photos of the renovations.

Happy ICLW - can't wait to meet new people! <3

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

2013-04-26T19:51:00.006-04:00

And by that, I mean blogging. :( Sadly.

I LOVE writing in my blog but with two 7 month old babies, my life isn't suitable for writing as much as I used to. I am going to take a vow to update at least once a month, I miss hearing from all of you (and as I type this, Little Man is next to me beginning to stir from his nap, crap!!!).

Anyway, I cannot believe I haven't updated since February. What the heck has been going on? Well...

*My Monsters are 7 months old, today! They're rolling, laughing all of the time, sleeping through the night, eating solids, intently playing with toys, and they are SO much fun.
*We closed on our house in March 1 and moved in at the beginning of April. It has been a construction zone since then. I'll be posting before & after pictures once it is all done *chuckles to self* -- whenever that will be!
*I've been looking for a new job, until then I've taken on making headbands. If I ever feel comfortable sharing my personal info, I will link my soon-to-be Etsy store and hope that you beautiful ladies might buy. :) I plan to make it a full time income for myself, selling party decor, tutus, photo props, etc - just have to get the idea launched. Thankfully, Husband doesn't think I'm bat-shit crazy for wanting to do this. I have my own room in the house to craft so maybe it'll actually be put to use!
*I donated my embryos (as mentioned previously) and that beautiful woman (whom I met in March!) transferred 2 of those embabies. Sadly, she miscarried after getting a BFP. They are having her do a blood panel to see if it something genetic going on but until then, we keep in touch and she WILL be transferring a 2 more embabies later on this year. I just love her and I cannot wait for her and her husband to be blessed with amazing little people like I have!

I'm going to try to get Husband to let me have a peaceful few hours in his "man cave" in the next few days so that I can read and reply to blogs. I'm dying to join an ICLW and some blog hops! Until next time... here's a picture overload =)

Little Man :)

Little Lady

Our HOME! <3

Both of my shitheads are in a spitting phase.

After her hospital stay. :(

He loooves his sweet tatoes!

Embryos, Weight Loss, and House Buying.

2013-02-04T20:23:00.004-05:00

Sooo... I'm going to try to type out a REAL update. Let's hope the babies will keep their peepers shut long enough for me to get this finished up!

First things first:

I mentioned in my last post that we've donated our embryos to a great couple. Husband and I have done our part of the process and she is coming to Ohio for her consultation and mock transfer next week. I wish I were going to be meeting her then, but it is a quick trip out. We WILL be meeting in March. I feel amazingly at peace with our decision and even more full inside than I ever could have imagined. The soon-to-be Mama and I keep in touch via text/Facebook for now but once HER journey really begins, I hope she is ready for me to bug her daily. :)

What else? OHHH... we are in the process of buying a house. Yeah! No one ever said it was THIS MUCH WORK to buy a house. We get messaged daily with something else we need to turn in. We were told we'd originally close around March 8 but got the call last week that we would have a few week delay and probably wouldn't even get to move in until MAY! Blahhhhh. We have to paint every room in the house and add new carpet to the upstairs. Oh and remove wallpaper in the babies' play room. Wallpaper. Yuck.

I'm on a diet... well, KIND of a diet. I allow myself to eat junk when I have urges (rarely) but I'm drinking some diet shakes and eating healthier. I only drink 1 soda a day (if that, I haven't had ANY today) I got to 220lbs pregnant with the twins. I started my weight loss journey at 202lbst. Today, I am 197.5 (keep in mind, I only started this diet on Thursday). I AM POSTING A BEFORE PICTURE SO IF YOU DON'T WANNA SEE STRETCH MARKS AND DISGUSTING ROLLS, LOOOOOK AWAY!

I've got a long way to go but I know I can do it! My goal is 130lbs. That's the only weight I've ever felt confident being. Wish me luck!

So we've decided to let the babies sleep in bed with us -- big mistake. It is nice because they sleep through the night now....but only in our bed. If we put them in their cribs, they scream and sleep like crap. I'm selfish and I HAVE to get stuff done so I need them to sleep at night. I guess we will have to break them of this eventually.... but for now, our queen size bed is smashed full of 4 people and 2 cats. :)

I had a mole removed from my forehead a few weeks ago and THANKFULLY - it wasn't cancer! Now, lets hope my cancer scan next month warrants results as good as the ones I just got. Keep your fingers crossed.

Ohhh how about a baby update - since I know most of you are here for that :) They're holding their heads up. smiling, (almost giggling), they've both rolled over (out of anger, but IT STILL COUNTS, damnit). Little Man is in 3-6 month clothes and size 2 diapers. Little Lady is in 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers. Ready for a picture overload? Okay, here goes.

My big 4 month old babies!

Baby Man

Baby Lady

Baby Man

Off to read blogs and TRY to get caught up after my month long hiatus! <3

2013!

2013-01-20T19:09:00.000-05:00

I am a terrible blogger -- but in my defense, having twins kiiiind of changes everything ;)

I don't have much time (or energy) to update right now either but I wanted to let everyone know we're all doing great in small town Ohio! I will take a few minutes and highlight some of the bigger things that have happened recently.

Christmas was great! Babies were spoiled (and I'll post pictures later).
I went back to work part time and I am exhausted.
The babies have been sleeping in 5 hour increments at night - but wanting to eat every 3 hours during the day.
B smiles intentionally now :)
A is on her way to smiling but she is kind of a grumpy baby.
We found out they both have GERD and medicine has been incredibly helpful.
We are HOUSE HUNTING! Actually, we think we found one we are gonna put an offer on this week! Cross your fingers for us.
The babies weigh 10 and 11lbs now! Huge difference from 2lbs, huh?
We have decided to donate the embryos and we selected a couple. She will be transferring on almost the EXACT same schedule as I did! I hope she gets twins, too :) :)

Unfortunately, I am going to have to cut this short because my son has decided his swing isn't doing the trick to keep him asleep. Sigh.

Baby Pictures & Growth Spurts.

2012-12-17T05:03:00.002-05:00

UPDATED 12-21-12:

Hello! If you're visiting from ICLW, it's nice to meet you. :)
I'm Kayla! 25 years old, mama to preemie twins (that are now '6 days old' adjusted age) and married to a cuuuute, loving, man. I live in a small Ohio town and I'm a cancer survivor!

I will PROBABLY do all blog commenting in one day because I'm limited for time but I comment frequently on the blogs that I follow. Hoping to find more blogs to read! :)

First of all. I will start with the second half of the title.

GROWTH SPURTS!
No one told me to expect these to be SO damn miserable.
My kids have been sleeping fine but when they are awake all. they. want. to. do. is. EAT.
OUNCE AFTER OUNCE!
Little Man ate 5 ounces in an hour recently.
Little Miss ate 7.5 ounces over a 4 hour span.

These are the babies that generally eat 3.5 & 3 ounces every 4 hours.
Now, they're awake wanting to eat every 30-60 minutes.

I don't feed on demand because the NICU has them on a schedule that worked out very well for all of us -- however, I've been HAVING to feed on demand to keep my sanity. Everyone else is like "oh my baby slept more and ate less during a growth spurt". Well, whoopdiedooooo. My babies aren't your babies and my babies are being children of the corn. :)

The worst part is, they aren't both sharing the awful schedule. One day it'll be him and then the next day, it'll be her.

Anyway. I guess I'll post some pictures of their cute faces to remind me that there is a good side to this parenting thing.

Little Man

Little Miss

Little Man

Little Man & Little Miss

Little Miss

Little Man & Little Miss

They're both quiet for the next 2 minutes, I'm sure -- so I'm going to close my eyes!

La La La

2012-12-11T05:11:00.002-05:00

Obligatory blog post here!

I don't really have much to update on.
Just busy creepin' on all of your blogs :)

And pinning.
Pinterest is so damn addicting.
And SO easy to use when one hand is busy feeding a tiny person their bottle.

Will update again in a few days - hopefully with the babies professional pictures. :)

Twin Update.

2012-12-05T22:50:00.001-05:00

Fiiiiirst of all: My real life friend Sarah has joined Blogger recently and I figured I'd show her some love! I know I have a few regular readers so maybe you should head over and say hello. :) She seems to be making a name for herself in the blogging world (Sarah, I have joined some blog hops because of you)! ....because I have SO much free time ;)

Alright... time for a baby update, right?

Little Man is 6lbs 11oz
Little Miss is 6lbs 14oz
They are both eating every 4 hours -- which makes it a smiiiidge easier to get some sleep, but not much. Husband goes back to work on Tuesday and I'm feeling really anxious about being left to do ALL of their feeds, except for the midnight ones, by myself. I'll be alright because IF I go to sleep after their 8pm feed, I can sleep from about 8:30pm to 3:30am.

The only issue for the last two days has been the damn vaccinations they had Monday. The OOONNNNLLLLYYYY side effect they've had is fussiness! No fever. No lack of appetite. No extra sleep -- in fact, they've been awake MUCH more than usual! I'll be alright, I have about 4 more weeks before I have to go back to work. Maybe we will be in more of a routine by then? Maybe? Maybe?

(Hopefully)

We did our family Christmas photos yesterday. It was a BLAST and I cannot wait to get them back. I will photo bomb the heck out of you once I get those back from the photographer.

Before I go... all of you moms out there. When you had your babies, did it really put a damper on your marriage at first? Husband and I have been really nit-picking at each other lately and I'm assuming it is because we are lacking sleep. That, and I feel like I am doing more than he is... I won't get into it much more than that, unless you guys express that it isn't JUST my marriage.

Alright, picture time! Are you ready?

Top Left = Little Man
Top Right = Little Miss
Bottom Left = Little Miss
Bottom Right = Little Man

Happy Heart.

2012-11-30T19:06:00.000-05:00

Both babies are home now!

I have been SO sooosososososoooooooo busy.

But they're so worth it.

My heart has never been happier <3.

I will probably be a little low on comments/replies for the next few weeks - I'm getting used to them being home.

Frozen Embryos.

2012-11-25T22:03:00.000-05:00

So Husband and I have been doing a lot of talking -- and as of now, we have decided there will be no more babies in our future.

Of course, the twins might get to be a few years old and could change our mind but until then, we've been in talks of what to do with the 6 frozen embryos we have left.

I have mentioned to Husband more than once that I want to look into donating the embryos and surprisingly, he is on board!

At first, it really hadn't crossed my mind... and then I started to think into it a bit more. The only thought I really had was "Is it kind of weird that Little Miss & Little Man will have biological brothers and sisters out there, that they'll never know?"

No. It isn't weird at all. Why? Because Husband and I have been through shit. We've been broke to the point of having bank accounts in the red and living off of $20 for an entire month. I've had cancer, surgeries and chemotherapy. The chemotherapy ruined my ovaries ability to grow and release eggs. Clomid, all 3 doses, failed. IVF #1 resulted in OHSS and hospitalization. FET #1 was a success but morning sickness was immediate. I was hospitalized a few times for dehydration and didn't work for 14 weeks right at the beginning. Went into pre-term labor at 26 weeks. The twins came at 28 weeks.

So what does that have to do with WHY I want to donate these embryos?

I want to provide a child or children to a couple that cannot create their own miracle.
I was interested in surrogacy for a long time before I even had my own child because I've read some of the blogs on there that literally made me burst into tears. With my own pregnancy being SO terrible and the premature babies, I won't carry for anyone else - but I can donate these frozen embryos and give someone an amazing gift. I can't even imagine "throwing away" these little beings, which is essentially what WILL happen if we choose not to pay for the storage again.

We have the option of TWO more 100% FREE IVFs through our insurance, so if it comes down to needing assistance to get pregnant again (if I choose so in the future), then I have that to turn to.

If you were being faced with this situation, what would you do?

November ICLW :)

2012-11-22T19:05:00.001-05:00

Welcome if you are here from ICLW! Hello, it's been awhile if you're a regular reader! <3

For those here from ICLW, I'm Kayla. I'm a new mama to boy/girl twins - born at 28 weeks in September. I'm happily married and for the time being, I'm a stay at home mom. I'm a cancer survivor and I've been through some of the worst shit a person can go through -- and I'm still sane! (Well, some might think otherwise) Haaa haaa!

So, I have some big news. Little Miss came home from the NICU! Yeah, we sprung her from that joint. :) She came home on Monday the 19th after 54 loooong days in the hospital. She is doing great, she sleeps in 3-4 hour blocks and only wakes up to feed when we wake her up! I am NOT glad she was in the NICU but I am SO thankful for the amazing schedule they put her on. :) I am responsible for the 1pm, 5pm, 9pm and 5am feeds. Husband does her 1am and 9am feed -- such an awesome schedule. I AM going back to work in January but only 18-24 hours a week - maybe.

When Little Man comes home, he is on a different feeding schedule. His feeds are at 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, midnight, 3am and 6am. We will have to figure that schedule out because that...is going to be exhausting. Hopefully we can get him closer to his sisters schedule -- but not TOO close. I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle two screaming starving babies. :(

I almost forgot... Little Man is stuck in the NICU because he is still having breathing episodes or the "A's & B's". Mostly after he is done eating, but sometimes randomly. This is when his heart AND his breathing stop or fall to really low numbers and he requires a nurse to bring him out of the spell. He had been spell free for a few days and was aaaalllll set to come home ONE day after his sister. Right before I was leaving on Saturday, he had a spell and turned blue.... and I cried the entire way home.

It hasn't been easy for me to have one baby here and one baby 100 miles away. We call a bunch of times each day and I hope so bad that he stops these spells! I need my little stinker home or it is going to keep wearing on me.

I think that is all I really have for now, I should get to commenting for ICLW or I will get behind!

Xoxoxo.

Edited to add:

Little Man weighs 5lbs & 8oz
Little Miss weighs 5lbs & 10oz!

Growing so fast!

November Already?

2012-11-09T15:28:00.002-05:00

Jeez, I have no idea where the time has gone.

Is it seriously November? And not just November but almost the middle of the month!
I am supposed to still be pregnant -- I should be carrying our twin for another 14 or so days... whhhattt.

The babies are growing quickly.
Little Man is 4lbs, 11oz
Little Lady is 4lbs, 12.5 oz

They're taking bottles (but not all of the time, they tend to wear themselves out and still need tube feeds). They are still having breathing spells here and there. They're ALMOST out of preemie clothes! They... are just. plain. incredible.

We have been staying with some friends during this NICU thing but it is starting to wear on us -- soooo, I finally caved and got info on the Ronald McDonald house. I think we are going to check in this week and give it a shot. Who can pass up free meals, free laundry, and free shuttles to the hospital? Plus, it'll give me a chance to get the babies to fully breastfeed.

I am planning on returning to work at the beginning of the year so I am praying these peanuts are home by the end of this month. I want plenty of time to spoil them in our home. :)

Some sad news: Husbands grandfather passed away this morning. He hasn't been back to California for almost 2 years and I'm so completely floored that he didn't see his Grandpy before he passed. He was set to go out in September and well.... I had babies! He is going to go out after Thanksgiving, at least that is what I was told. It just happened so plans are up in the air, currently. I just want to hug Husband (who went to work this morning despite the bad news).

Life sure does have its ups & downs. :(

MY WORLD! <3.

ICLW!

2012-10-21T19:15:00.002-04:00

It has been FOREVER since I've done an ICLW -- so I'll write an intro post and then give a REAL update!

My name is Kayla and I'm a new mommy of TWINS! My babies were born at 28 weeks gestation and they're still in the NICU. They've been alive for 25 days and in those 25 days, they've managed to change my entire world and fill me with more love than I have EVER known. I'm a cancer survivor (Stage 3 Melanoma) and I struggled with infertility for years. I did an IVF in January and ended up with OHSS and had to recover before I moved on to a FET in March.

For my regular readers, here is an update:

The babies are BOTH off of oxygen and... are you ready for exciting news?

THEY ARE WEARING CLOTHES!

I almost cried when I saw them in outfits on Friday. The nurses didn't tell us because they wanted to surprise us :) This was almost as exciting as the day we lifted up their bed cover and saw them off of CPAP and on nasal canulas. :) My little babies are growing and changing daily and I am so anxious to get them home!

I am really hoping they can come home at 35 weeks gestation (less than 3 weeks)! but it just depends on their breathing. As of now, they're still having breathing spells directly after they eat. They put little Man on a pump that regulates his food over 30 minutes and that seems to have helped him a ton. I am actually hoping they plan on putting little Miss on the same thing, as she tends to drift after a feed, too.

I am having trouble keeping up with their demand of milk. I feel like a bad mommy but 2 days in this past week they've had to have formula only because they were out of milk! :( I'm pumping about 2oz each session but it just isn't enough when you have little piggys! Speaking of their eating habits....

Little Man is at 3lbs 6oz

Little Lady is at 3lbs 1oz.

These have probably changed since those were their weights from 2 nights ago but I won't know their current weights until I call in at midnight tonight and ask for them :)

I am beyond exhausted with the 2 hour (one way) trip to see them and even more tired than usual because we've been staying with friends.....and their 3 year old son wakes up at 5:30am EVERY single day. Normally we sleep in their basement and it is quiet and whatnot -- but their family was in town this stay and we had to sleep in their living room. I am actually so exhausted that I fell asleep sitting up today and missed a friends baby shower. :( Blah. I KNOW it's only going to be more exhausting when they get here but the damn travel is getting to me (and getting to be really expensive).

I'll update again in a few days buuuut before I end, I'll post a few pictures of the peanuts.

my baby :) first outfit and weighing 3lbs 6oz!

my peach :) first outfit and weighing 3lbs 1oz!

Twins Birth Story (and days leading up to it!)

2012-10-15T17:23:00.001-04:00

Well, I wanted to get this written before I forget because I fully plan on getting a book made of my blogging for the babies to read when they're older (but I need to go back and edit a lot...including cuss words! hahaha).

I mentioned a tiny bit back in September that I was admitted to the hospital because I was 1cm dilated and 80% effaced but I never came back to update that situation -- well, I mean, you guys can probably figure out what happened considering the kids are here now.

My first stay at the hospital included: 2 days of being starved to death because they wouldn't give me anything but ice chips and water to take my medicine. It also included sleeping on a terrible bed that was hard foam with the bottom half "breaking away" for delivery. One really sore, terribly placed IV. A million hands in my crotch. Living on the monitors for days. One student attempting a catheter two times before the rude ass nurse torture my pee hole and shoved it in herself. Terrible hospital food (except the yummy stuff Husband would bring for me). 2 steroid shots. A ton of Mag Sulfate. One meth addicted roommate who was screaming at her nurse every 10 minutes because she wanted her drugs early (and by drugs I mean, she was on prescription pain meds, a methodone pump, nerve pills, etc..) and because she was also on the ice chip diet and she WANTED BROTH SOOOOO BAD! *insert eye roll here*

Anyway, I was released from the hospital on September 19th and told to do NOTHING at home. I did absolutely nothing except for take 5 minute showers and get up for food or to use the restroom. I knew how serious the situation was and I really didn't want to risk having the babies come early because I couldn't stand to see some dishes in the sink.

So, I relaxed the first few nights at home and then on September 22nd, I started to have really weird pressure. I seriously thought it was just Braxton Hicks contractions because it was only the lower half of my stomach tensing up -- and from the other contractions that I was having, it really didn't feel annnnything like that! So, I slept through the night and ignored everything.

Sunday, September 23rd - I was having the same pressure as the day before but it was coming a little closer and was feeling a little more intense. I told Husband if it didn't stop by 4pm, that I would suck it up and head to the local L&D for a cervix check. It didn't stop so I called my mom and she drove me to the hospital. My OB was already there and they had no one in labor so he was in my room checking me within 5 minutes of being there.

My cervix was 4cm dilated and 100% effaced.

I went back on Magnesium Sulfate immediately and they called the local ambulance company for yet another 2 hour trip to the larger hospital.

When I got to the big hospital, they checked me immediately and I had progressed to 5-6cm in the ambulance and it was back on more Mag Sulfate. I absolutely refused the damn catheter this time around so I had to pee in a bed pan. I DON'T EVEN CARE, I would rather piss in a pan than have a tube inserted into my crotch yet again!!! It did make me feel disgusting but I stopped caring about that after the first 5 pees.

They were able to slow down my contractions! I was admitted on the 23rd and made it until the night of the 25th before all hell broke lose :) (However, they hadn't let me eat for 2 days and I wasn't getting much sleep so I was really rude to the doctor on the 25th -- and I got myself some food! But something deep inside of me was telling me not to eat TOO much... I have no idea how my body knew but it did so I just sipped on liquids and picked at the breakfast I was given).

My nurse came in around 11pm on the 25th for vitals and I told her I felt like I was having contractions. She checked the monitors and I was having some but they weren't all picking up so she stood there for a few, felt way more than was being recorded and said she would be back in 20 minutes. She asked us to document times of the contractions so we did....and I had 6 within those 20 minutes and I was having the urge to poop. She called my doctor in and he checked me.

9cm. I was freaking 9cm dilated. -- This is EXACTLY what I knew would happen. I would labor to the point where it would be essentially worthless to get an epidural. But they still had the anesthesiologist come in for an epidural just because of the delivery method. I had TWO damn epidurals. The numbing wasn't bad but the part where the thing went down my SIDE instead of my SPINE kind of hurt. The second one went in and I was given medicine -- and left to lay there for 30 minutes while they prepared the OR.

The waiting was the worst part. I was a ball of emotions but at the same time, I hadn't slept much in days so I was having a hell of a time staying awake. We tried calling my parents and my brother but no one answered. This was the worst part because everyone was supposed to have their phones on loud in case this exact scenario happened. I knew they would NEVER make it to the hospital on time (they were 2 hours away!) but knowing my mom would be there when it was all said and done was ALL I wanted (and it didn't happen).

I was wheeled into the OR, completely stripped of all of my pride (surrounded by 8 people, all staring at my crotch). I kept telling the nurse I had to pee before we went to the OR and she never offered the bed pan, not once! So when we got into the OR, they did an ultrasound to check the position of the babies and my doctor saw my VERY FULL BLADDER and drained it....in front of a room full of people. I did get sick one time in the delivery room but I think it was from the medicine & moving all at once! They had me move from my hospital bed to the OR table and it was really exhausting when I couldn't feel anything BUT my vagina!

So anyway. I pushed about 5 times and Adalie started to crown. Seriously, the epidural didn't numb anywhere in the girly bits so I felt this entire thing. Crowning was the worst part - but it really felt like I had to go #2 reaaaally bad, so it wasn't the worst thing in the world, I guess. My doctor broke my water (which apparently sprayed all over him, says Husband). Adalie was born at 2:51am and came out making noises. I can't say they were screams cause they were totally little noises, almost like a kitten would make. I didn't cry, all I could say and think was "She's so small, Husband" he was able to take a picture of her and she was taken to the NICU.

The stretch between the babies delivery time was bigger than I expected because my shitty cervix decided to close back up... to 8cm! They gave me Pitocin for a few minutes and then I seriously felt my son basically sliding out. 2 pushes and Braxley was out at 3:15am! He had his picture taken by his daddy and off he went to the NICU with his sister!

I didn't tear at all, placenta came out quickly and I was given my giant old woman diaper and shipped to a recovery room. After an hour, I was taken to a post-partum room where Husband and I were given an entire tray & goodie bag FULL of snacks (because I had been starved for days)! We weren't allowed to see the babies until around 6:30am (and staying awake to see them was a struggle after delivery and medicine).

They were super perfect, tiny little peanuts.

They are still little amazing babies, growing stronger each day.
I guess it was just their time to come.

Husband says they wanted to cuddle with their mommy sooner than later. Isn't that cute? :) Haha.

Twin Update & Photo Bomb :)

2012-10-12T10:37:00.000-04:00

It has been a few weeks since I've updated so I wanted to check in and give everyone an update :)

The babies are 2 weeks and 2 days old now! They'll be 31 weeks gestational age tomorrow.
Husband and I visit them 5 days a week and allow ourselves 2 days a week at home to rest, relax and do things around the house. The nursery STILL isn't 100% done yet but it is getting there.

I'm pumping every 3 hours except for at night, I allow myself to sleep from midnight to 6am. While most people frown upon skipping a huge chunk like that, I was a miserable human being AND it hasn't messed with my supply. I am now pumping entire storage bottles in one session so I feel awesome about how much I'm feeling the itty bitty babies.

They are FINALLY back at their birth weight and going strong!

A was taken off of oxygen completely last week and she made it 4 days before she had a major spell. Unfortunately, that spell was in my arms. Her heartrate dropped to 80 and her oxygen hit 70% and it was the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. The nurse came over and roused her up a bit and she was fine -- they said she just got too comfy with her mommy and that was the first and only time it happened. They did put her back on oxygen after that spell but she is on 1/32 coming through the nasal canula, which is the lowest setting. She is eating 24mLs of food via her tube every 3 hours and getting vitamins :) Next step: BOTTLES!

B is also on 1/32 dose of oxygen, he pulls his canula out every few seconds and little man has pulled his feeding tube out many times (so has his sister)! He finally pooped which was a huge relief because his stomach was so swollen his first few days of life. He is eating 23mLs of food and he juuust started his vitamins, too. :) He hasn't had any major breathing spells, just little ones here and there and he has been a champion about correcting them himself.

Husband and I are so ready to have our little pumpkins home! The hospital says the earliest they'll be released is 35 weeks, so we are hoping our little fighters come home in 4 short weeks! They just have to be able to breathe while they eat, breathe on their own, go potty normally, weigh 4lbs, and sit in a car seat for an hour with no spells. Not too much to ask of a preemie, right? :P

I'll leave you guys with their 2 week photos and some outfits of their Halloween and Christmas clothes!

Braxley @ 2 weeks old :)

Adalie @ 2 weeks old :) She ripped out her feeding tube right before this.

The diaper cake my mom made us for the baby shower

First Halloween outfits!

First Christmas outfits!

INTRODUCING....

2012-10-01T16:05:00.001-04:00

Adalie

Braxley

That is correct... I had the twins on September 26 at 2:51am and 3:15am.

They're in the NICU (obviously) and doing great. Clearly this experience is a day-to-day event and some days are better than others. These pictures were from their first day alive and our girl doesn't have the breathing tube anymore. Both babies are on CPAP and doing great. Adalie is feeding through her tube 9mLs every 3 hours and Braxley is feeding through his tube at 2mLs every 6 hours. His stomach has been a bit distended so they are worried he isn't processing food juuust yet.

We are expecting them to come home around their gestational age of 36 weeks so we have about 6 weeks to go before they're home and being cuddled in my arms. I will say time this far as flown so I hope that it continues to do so -- and that they keep on being the fighters that I know that they are.

I will update in a day or two with newer pictures and the birth story (boy, it is a doozy). Until then, I'm going to pump until my boobs fall off and continue to kangaroo care with my peanuts.

Also, the babies were on 28 weeks and 4 days old when I had them.

I never knew I could love two tiny living beings so much.

100th post.....Contractions. :/

2012-09-17T22:10:00.004-04:00

Long story short, on Wednesday - husband and I were in the nursery and he was putting together the baby swing. I was just sitting in the chair and felt a gush of fluid and a lot of pressure. We went to labor and delivery where my vagina was completely proded and it was NOT my water but.

I AM contracting.... a lot. I'm 1cm dilated and 80% effaced. Baby A is so low that she is literally just waiting to make her appearance. They sent me home Wednesday night with some pills to take if I felt contractions. Took one at 10:45am on Thursday and felt contractions ALL day long... Went to labor & delivery around 4:30pm and from there, things have been INSANE.

I was brought via ambulance to a very prestigious hospital with a high level NICU. I got here around 10pm on Thursday night and was instantly hooked to monitors, given fluids, steroid shots, shots to stop contractions, magnesium sulfate, the whole nine yards. The contractions haven't stopped at all but had slowed down. They didn't let me eat for TWO days in fear that I might deliver the babies early.

On Saturday they moved me to the high risk floor where I was put into a room with a meth addicted pregnant woman. She was insane from the start, I will write a whole different post on this.

Things have been preeeeetty quiet since Saturday. I'm still contracting, still exhausted but I am still growing two tiny babies so this stay is serving its purpose. Tomorrow is a cervix check and a fFN test to make sure they aren't going to come within the next 2 or 3 weeks. If the tests come back clear, I AM RELEEEEEEEASEDDDD to go home and do nothing.

So, that's where things are in Kayla land. :) Hopefully I have nothing else to post soon but if these babies come soon, be prepared for tons of updates.

Ohhh... and I am only 27 weeks.

26 Weeks (+1 day)

2012-09-09T19:47:00.002-04:00

I'm already 26 weeks in this pregnancy adventure.
I am in disbelief at how fast the time has been flying so far... but now that I am out of work, the days are dragging.

I'm super glad that I have the option to be out of work, I HURT SO BAD. Holy shit, my ribs feel like they're being yanked open 24/7 and -- I never sleep. Ever. I will sleep about 3 hours a night and then every couple of days, I will be so exhausted that I sleep ALL day.

What else is going on?
We've tried TWO times now to get pictures of Baby B's face -- but he keeps refusing. Tomorrow is our third and final attempt at seeing him but it is getting uncomfortable to have a tech pressing on my stomach for 45 minutes at a time when it is clear he isn't going to turn around. The good news is, he has adorable little legs and a penis he isn't afraid to show. Well, I don't know how the penis thing is going to be good in the future, but ya know... :)

Their nursery is done! Other than hanging pictures, buying curtains and finding a rug for their floor. I also washed all of their clothes (because I posted about this on Facebook and apparently I'm really far behind, according to other parents?)... but I haven't figured out a way that I want to organize them. Sooo they're hanging out in their cribs, piled to the very top of it, actually.

The baby shower is in less than 4 weeks now! Hopefully people actually LOOK at the registry because THESE BABIES DO NOT NEED CLOTHES, BLANKETS OR BATH ITEMS! And I know that we are going to get a ton of all of those. All that we need are car seats (A's family is supposedly buying those or sending us a gift card to do so, hopefully before the damn shower), we need breathable bumpers, I want a few types of bottles, I need a diaper bag annnd... I'm thinking a bottle sterilizer because it is a hassle to get behind our stove to turn it on. (It is gas and it is SUPER old so we turn it off at the switch each time).

In other news, the weather is BEAUTIFUL OUT! I have the window open AND a pumpkin candle lit. It is going to be in the 80s later on this week but I'm hoping it continues to stay this weather. Lord knows the fat pregnant lady could use a break from the heat. I waddle AND huff & puff now.

Ew, I just remembered that Tuesday I have to go to the dermatologist and get two moles removed. This means stitches and a week of worrying that the results are going to come back bad. :/ And then directly after the derm visit, I'm seeing the Oncologist. It is my 6 month visit... should be interesting for them to exam me when I'm this large, hahaha.

I just hope that ALL goes well, dammit.

Oh, and I'm 26 weeks now but the last belly picture I took was at 24 weeks (I don't do them weekly) so I'll post that for your viewing pleasure.

Twin belly two weeks ago @ 24 weeks! :)