ON THE RUN

125 Brain Games for Babies

2012-01-26T09:21:00.000-08:00

Here is an example of the Brain Games:
Brain Game #94: Where’s the Baby?

9 to 12 Months

What Brain Research Says: Researchers now confirm that how you interact with your baby and the experiences you provide have an impact on his emotional development and learning abilities.

• Find several pictures of a baby and hide them in different places.
• Chose places that are familiar to your baby—in the toy box, on the ceiling above the changing place, or under a plate on the highchair.
• Say, "Let’s go find the baby."
• Ask different questions: "Is it in the sink?" "Is it on the chair?"
• Finally ask the question, "Is it in the toy box (or other place)?"
• When your baby finds the picture, praise him and clap your hands.
• You can play this game with pictures of family members and friends.

Price: $14.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol

2012-01-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

I’m participating in an online blogger reality t.v. show. It’s actually not nearly as dumb, and only half as much of a pain in the ass as it sounds. It’s really rather funny. Think of it as “The Real World” but totally not real at all, in any way whatsoever. And most assuredly, none of us will get famous from it. Each of the participating bloggers will be taking turns advancing the storyline on their respective blogs. The setting is a fictional log mansion in Helena, Montana. Readers are encouraged to follow the storyline at each person’s site.

You probably should go here and here and here to read the first three “episodes” and get up to speed with what’s going on in the “house” thus far. Otherwise this next post you are about to read is going to make about as much as sense as Lady Gaga’s choices in awards show outfits. Feel free to leave comments at any and all of your stops. This could take a while dear readers, so bear with me, and please have fun with it! Check back often, visit the other blogs involved and follow along. This is the order we will be posting in:

The show’s host is Bob from Squatlo Rant

Sonia from LogAllot

Quincy from Thank, Q for Common Sense

Michelle W. from Mommy Confessions (That’s me y’all)

Michelle R. from Rantings of the Reckmonster

Lynn from Thoughts of A Randomista

Falen from Colorful Rants of A Fed Up Sista

Brandon from My Own Private Idaho

Alexandra from the Tsaritsa sez.

This is the story of 8 bloggers, picked to live in a house, and see what happens when bloggers stop being polite, and start getting real... Sorta.

Welcome to The Real Blogger Shore Amazing Undercover Idol.

Confession: I’m not really the homesick mommyblogger.

It's Day 3 in the mansion. So far, it's going okay...

Somehow the girls talked me into going to some backwoods bar last night, no thanks to Brandon and Q, who clearly tried to ditch us for greener pastures. Don't they know a mom of 3 with an opportunity to go to bed at 10:00 is not to be messed with? Still though, it wasn't half bad once they convinced me, You know, except for the whole, almost getting killed by a Paul Bunyan wannabe thing!

I hear someone coming. It sounds like Q. I smell the shrimp and fried chicken on him. "Hey girl, how you holding up?" he asked. "Well, except for holding my breath hoping the cops don't show up here today with a list of felony charges for us, I'm good." He added, "Squat called this morning. Seems Warren filled him in on our little adventure last night." "Was he pissed?", I asked. "Nah, but he did ask if he could get a copy of The Tsaritsa busting a move." "Well yeah, who wouldn't want that?", I said.

Just then we heard voices from down in the kitchen. We headed down to see Brandon and Reck chowing down on some breakfast. Sonia, Lynn and the rest of the gang had already retired to the living room to figure out what the hell 8 bloggers are going to do all day in Helena-freakin'-Montana. Q and I looked around. Where's the rest of the grub? Brandon guiltily looked around. "Oh great", I said. "You guys didn't even save us any breakfast?" "Aint that some shit", chimed in Q. "Come on girl, get Warren on the phone. We're firing up that limo and we're gonna find that damn IHOP I was talking about!"

As we headed towards the door, I could hear Falen say, "damn, I thought she was at least gonna clean up the dishes before she left."

Why the hell does everyone already expect me to clean up all the time? Just because I'm the mommy? ‘Cause I didn’t sign on to be anyone’s momma here. As a matter of fact, I’m still not quite sure why I did sign on. If I wanted to clean up after people, I could’ve stayed home. Shit, this dude has like a gazillion dollars. You’d think he could spring for some butlers or something to keep up after us while we’re here. I know he's read these blogs and knows these people are straight crazy! We've got one lousy housekeeper (sorry Jeanette) to pick up after all of us. And the ways these guys party, that girl has her work cut out for her! And how about those network execs? Why don’t they spend some of that fat wad of cash they are making off of us, and hire some maid services? This is bogus. And what about this? A damn 20 room mansion and not a pool boy in sight. Whatever.

While at IHOP, Q and I started talking about the "show". I told him that I overheard some of the girls saying that they were pissed because the stupid network guys had us all sharing rooms when there was like 6 more unoccupied bedrooms. Which reminded me, "these walls are paper thin, so watch what you say, Q".

Squat should really consider soundproofing these rooms when he gets back. I can hear every damn thing everyone's talking about. Speaking of Squat, I can’t believe he bailed on this whole thing. Whatever. He obviously doesn’t need the money that we’re all gonna earn from this. You’re looking at the next Snooki right here baby. Shit, if she can get paid $10,000 to speak at a COLLEGE, you know I’m gonna get 20K when this is done. At least I can spell college.

We headed back to the mansion. "Q, I'm gonna go call home. Thanks for breakfast." Thankfully when I got to my room, Falen must've been outside smoking (or hiding in the bathroom), so I had a few minutes alone. Everyone is still thinking that I am going to flake out and head home soon. I can see it in their eyes. They’re banking on the whole homesick mommy thing. Little do they know that I’ve been in desperate need of a vacation alone for like 10 years now! I mean sure, I miss the hubs and my kids, but come on... I’m in a HUGE mansion (granted it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere, but it’s all good). I’ve got one guy bringing me shrimp cocktail all the time because he feels bad for talking me into this crap. My roommate Falen is always trashed so I'll be borrowing her stuff when she’s passed out. I’ve got it made. I get to spend late nights in deep conversation about the yin and yang of the universe with Alexandra. Seriously, it’s nice to talk to someone about something other than freakin’ iCarly.

I’m just holding my breath wondering how long I can fly under the radar with this whole homesick mommyblogger shtick? Sooner or later they’re gonna catch me partying in the hot tub with a bottle of tequila and a pack of Marlboro Reds after they all pass out. The best part is how they all think that the drinking and smoking annoys me. Right now the only thing that’s really annoying me is that snoring that comes from down the hall. I think it’s Brandon, but I can’t be too sure.

Wait... someone is coming....where’s my phone... dammit.... Ahh there it is....

Yes sweetie. Uh-huh. I know baby. Mommy loves you too buttercup. Now kiss your brother and sister for me and tell them how much I miss them. And don’t forget to tell Daddy I miss him too. I'll call you at bedtime. Uh-huh. Buh-Bye.

Whew! That was a close one... I really should actually call home one of these nights....

I don’t think anyone is going to catch on for a while. Half of them are too drunk to remember my name, and I’m pretty sure the other half just think I’m pathetic. The only one who knows what’s up is Squat. And I KNOW he’s not gonna out me. Ever since I threatened to send that video of him trying on Lynn’s underwear before he left, back to the little wifey in Barbados, I’ve got him riiiiight where I want him.

Now if I can just make sure no one catches me looking at the other Michelle’s boobs, we’ll be okay. I'm thinking of asking her if she wants to go shopping with me. Are there malls in Helena? I need a new bra. Maybe we can find a Victoria's Secret. Although with that girl, the secret is already out!

Shit, they're calling... I think Lynn said something about going on a "Montana style adventure" today. I'm scared....

And with that I give it to Michelle R. from Rantings of a Reckmonster. Be sure to head over and check out what she offers up. And make sure to follow all of the blogs involved so you can keep up on the show!

View the original article here

Parenting Children: Do You Make These Mistakes When Your Child Misbehaves?

2012-01-23T22:53:00.000-08:00

Parenting children is a wonderful - except when kids misbehave. When kids act up, not only do we feel angry at them for deliberately breaking the rules, we worry for their safety, perhaps obsessing a little about whether they'll somehow manage to grow up to be responsible human beings.

It's easy for us to make the mistake of thinking that punishment is the only way of disciplining our children: then the battle becomes a fight to determine "who's stronger." Some children respond by assuming they are "bad" and need to be punished in order to be "good." Others end up feeling so discouraged and powerless that they lose faith in their own abilities. And a third group simply does what they want anyway-making sure we don't find out about it.

Love- Al Capone Style

Sometimes we're so fed up with our kids' behavior, we decide to try and threaten them into good behavior. The problem is that this works only once; after that we're forced to escalate, and the whole thing turns into a power struggle.

Not pretty.

In the end, both sides end up entrenched in their positions, with no way to bow out gracefully. And you probably won't even remember how the whole thing started anyway.

Name-Calling

Most parents would never admit to calling their children names, but if you've ever accused your child of "laziness," "sneaking around," or "irresponsible," then you've done just that. Assigning a label to a person never motivates anyone. It just leaves them feeling angry or beaten.

It also doesn't show tell them clearly what they need to do in order to make amends, which should be the ultimate goal of discipline.

"Always-ifying"

How often do you accuse your child of "always" doing something? What we really mean is that we are upset about having to deal with a situation that we thought was already under control. You may be disappointed and angry at your child, but saying "always" is not only unfair, it's probably untrue.

The Memory-Like-An- Elephant Syndrome

Sometimes parents, trying to avoid a confrontation, ignore a child's particular misbehavior. Eventually, though, the child - sensing their parents are ignoring them - starts to act up more, forcing the parent to discipline them.

Then the parent suddenly blows up, and starts meting out punishments for the present behavior, and all the previous ones as well.

What the heck is that?

How would you feel if your boss came up to you one day and said, "Bob, that was a really lousy sales presentation you did. Seeing that presentation reminded of that screw up you made in 2008 with that new lead...and come to think of it, you messed up that sales call last year too. I think you're in for a reevaluation."

The Holy Roller Syndrome

Our intention might be to let our kids know how serious their actions are, but lecturing and moralizing are infantilizing and a turn off. Kids (and parents) never feel inspired to change when they are ranted at, rather than spoken with.

This is not to say that you can't tell your child what the consequences are of their actions. You can.

But the time to do that is NOT when they are angry. They won't be able to hear you anyway.

The Comedian is IN

Sarcasm may be in on your favorite TV show or movie, but it's deadly at home. No one likes being laughed at, or being the butt of a joke. Young children usually don't get the sarcasm anyway, and older children either feel hurt - or inspired to respond in kind.

In short, relating to your children means remembering they are people do. Even though our job as parents is to teach children the right values, and the right behaviors they need to be responsible people, we need to lead the way by modeling responsible, respectful behavior.

At the end of the day, that means we need to put our feelings to the side, and do what we know will lead to lasting change and happy, responsible children.

Had enough of parenting children who tantrum, backtalk, and engage in endless power struggles?

END misbehavior now.

Sign up for our FREE newsletter at http://teachingthefuture.net, and you'll learn the powerful tools you need to raise happy, responsible children.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun... (not spend all their time doing their hair-duh)

2012-01-23T19:52:00.000-08:00

Confession: I envy those cute matchy-matchy moms- ever so slightly!

Here in New Jersey, tomorrow is the first day of school. I know that this instills much anxiety in a lot of people. I know that some kids, tween girls especially, will stress for hours or even days over what to wear the first day back. At my house, not so much.

You know those moms who spend an hour ensuring that their kids clothes are all matchy-matchy, every hair is in place, bows and barrette and baubles adorning each one? Yes? Well, I'm definitely not one of those moms.

My girls especially, tend to look like a cross between Cyndi Lauper circa 1982 and, well, me when I've just rolled out bed in the morning.

My son is going through his new found independent stage. He wants to pick out his own clothes. Yesterday he wore a green and yellow t-shirt, couple with navy blue soccer shorts with stains on it. he topped it off with light blue and red sandals. He looked fabulous. I got lots of funny looks from parents in the grocery store, the doctor's office, and pretty much every where we went. He was oblivious of course- as it should be.

My middle daughter just turned 7. She wears a bathing suit almost every day. When she's not, she can be found sporting the same exact outfit every single day until I have to forcibly pry it from her body in order to wash it.

My almost 10 year old is finally getting the hang of the whole coordinating pieces, matching colors, etc. But, she is 10, and has never been one of those fashion diva types. She'd rather be doing just about anything then spending time on her appearance.

I suppose I should be thankful for all of this. It saves tons of time in getting ready, and vast amounts of money on having to pick out the perfect outfit, or the latest trend.

Where do they get it you ask? Well, I've never really been one to spend much time on my hair or my nails or my clothes. I'm a wash and wear kind of girl. So, this all stands to reason. In fact, I've said on numerous occasions that some of my "outfits" have earned me a permanent spot on people of walmart dot com- even when I'm not actually at Walmart. Yeah, it gets that bad.

So this year I resolve to get up every morning, well before the kids, and shower and dress (in something other than shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops), to at least attempt to do my hair, and do something with my face. If my calculations are correct I am almost certain I can make it through the entire school year the first report period the first day.

So, do you stress if your kids don't look picture perfect? Or do you let 'em roll in the dirt in their "Sunday clothes"?

View the original article here

101 Life Skills Games for Children: Learning, Growing, Getting Along (Ages 6-12)

2012-01-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

101 Life Skills Games for Children is a resource guide for parents, teachers, and therapists featuring games that teach important life lessons to younger children and teens. Aimed at children ages 6 to 12, this useful, fun game book is organized into three chapters: I-Games, You-Games, and We-Games. The games address aggression, resentment, honesty, flexibility, stereotypes, performance, self-confidence, respect, and group conflict. The book also offers new strategies for such problems as how to integrate the new girl into the group and how to stop boys from fighting in line. Based on years of research, the book packs skill-building games with step-by step instructions and clearly specified objectives to help children grow as individuals and as part of a group.

Price: $14.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

You Say Potato...

2012-01-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

Confession: I am not bitter. So, I want to thank everyone who voted for me in the first annual Stunner Blog Competition over at Thank Q, For Common Sense. I did not win. Repeat, I did not win. Yeah, I know. I did come in a very respectable second. Which is not bad considering the number of really good blogs that started out the competition. None as good as mine mind you, but still... not too shabby. What did I learn from this? I learned that I am more competitive then I thought I was. I learned that if you have 4,000 followers on Twitter, 2,500 on Facebook, and roughly 1,000 subscribers, getting just 2% of them to vote, is like pulling fucking teeth. I learned that my friends and family are awesome. Wait. I already knew that. I learned that people on the internet can be mean. Wait. I knew that too. And I learned, most importantly, that people in Idaho don't read blogs. I mean really? If the state of Idaho would've gotten behind me, I totally would've won! I should have gone with my plan to email the Governor of Idaho to get him on board. Oh well. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.That being said, when all was said and done, I was beaten by a spud. Brandon, of My Own Private Idaho (aka @spud_slinger) took home top honors. And suffice it to say, I may never eat a french fry again. Fucking potatoes.

View the original article here

Teaching Math to People With Down Syndrome and Other Hands-On Learners: Basic Survival Skills (Topics in Down Syndrome) Book 1 (Bk.1)

2012-01-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

The author, an experienced educator, was inspired to write 'Teaching Math' to meet the needs of hands-on learners after observing the difficulty her adult son with Down Syndrome and his peers had in applying math skills to everyday life. 'Teaching Math' gives parents and teachers high-interest, hands-on strategies and ideas for teaching math to learners of all ages.

Price: $24.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

Not-So-Porno-PTA.

2012-01-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

Confession: I may not always wear underwear but at least I teach my kid not to be a bully.

Some of you may remember the post titled Porno PTA. It's right here, so if you don't recall, or never read it, go ahead. I'll wait.
It's the one about me forgetting to wear underwear to back to school night. It's been a long running fave of mine, and several others as well.

No long winded post today. No discussion of all the crazy events going on in the world right now. Let's face it that's not what you come here to see. But I did want to take a minute to mention that tonight is back to school night once again. And I just got showered and dressed (10 hours ahead of time I might add- I know- are you proud of me or what?). Anyway, the point is I PUT ON UNDERWEAR! Yay me! So, while I probably won't have anything interesting to post later tonight, at least you can rest easy knowing that I won't be showing my goodies to the new vice principal, or anyone else I may encounter tonight.

I may however be showing someone my Philly attitude. Seems as though the "mean girls" are giving my #1 a hard time at school again. Not really bullying or anything, but just not including her, or letting her play with them, making her cry. I know it's just little girls being little girls, but it sucks when it's your kid being excluded. I try to teach my kids to behave better than that. Oh well. Now that my blog is super public and everyone and their Grandma now knows that I am the woman behind the blog, maybe some of them will read this and talk to their kids about being mean. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Probably. You know who you are.

View the original article here

The Anxiety Cure for Kids: A Guide for Parents

2011-12-31T19:32:00.000-08:00

A comforting, practical guide to helping your child deal with anxiety

Fear, worry, stomach pains, self-doubt-- these are all classic symptoms of anxiety in children and teenagers. Anxiety affects both boys and girls, regardless of age, size, intelligence, or family specifics. And the only way your family can be free of anxiety is to confront it every time it appears. This book will show you how.

The bestselling authors of The Anxiety Cure present a reassuring guide to help adults and children understand the way anxiety works. Using characters such as the Dragon and the Wizard, The Anxiety Cure for Kids explains how to overcome the negative impacts of anxiety and turn anxiety into a positive opportunity for the whole family. It outlines specific action steps to regain full control of your anxious child's life. You'll learn how to communicate effectively with your child, help him or her confront fear, and boost your child's feelings of accomplishment and self-esteem. The book also includes helpful advice for anyone who works with anxious children, such as teachers, coaches, therapists, and school nurses. The plentiful exercises and tips reveal how to:
* Recognize the symptoms of anxiety in your child
* Evaluate your child's need for medication and/or therapy
* Utilize a journal to gain a clear perspective
* Assess the role of your family in anxiety disorders
* Set goals for the future-- including what to do if anxiety returns

Overcoming anxiety in children takes time and persistence-- but it can be done. By making changes little by little, your child can get well and stay well. The lessons in The Anxiety Cure for Kids have helped many children break free from anxiety and, with your family's help, your child will too.

Price: $14.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

The Information Super Highway

2011-12-31T02:42:00.000-08:00

Confession: Car rides with the kids don’t suck as bad as they used to.I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed that our 8ish hour car ride isn’t yielding me more blog-worthy moments. Used to be I could count on a ride like this to yield several melt downs, at least one full-blown tantrum, and countless WTF moments for your entertainment. Not so much this time.Granted, we decided to divide the trip in half. Leaving instead at night and stopping halfway to our destination for sleep. I’m not sure that really even matters though.Each of the kids is a full year older than they were on our last lengthy car ride undertaking. Perhaps this has brought a new level of maturity? Perhaps they have grown up enough to sit quietly in their seats and refrain from slapping the crap out of each other any time one of them breathes in the other’s general direction? Naaaah that’s not it. It’s the golden age of electronics, my friends.I know some of you have been on board with this method of a mobile babysitter for years now. But, I am fairly new to the game. Here’s how it works. In addition to the suitcases, toiletries, etc. that we packed for our trip, we have.. dun dun dun.... the electronics bag! The bag, once condemned by this mother for use as a vacation staple, is now touted and revered as the vacation ride sanity saver. It’s amazing how this parenting thing can really cut our core values right down to shit, isn't it?This bag, which I once would have said had no place on a trip that was supposed to be chock full of togetherness and outdoorsy goodness, is truly a get-there-without-killing-each-other life saver. 2 regular iPods (the kind that just play music- remember those?)A host of movies and electronic gamesNow some might say, as I once did, that a long ride such as this is a great time for family bonding. Playing punch-buggy, the license plate game, and singing car-trippy songs, should be enough to sustain everyone and keep you rolling from state to state to state... and yes, another state! To these people I say, you try driving in a car with my kids for a few hours and see how that whole sing-songy nonsense works out for ya. You’ll be tossing them the Angry Birds before you can say New Jersey Turnpike. Trust me.So, for those of you hoping to get a some funny car trip confessions, I apologize. All of the kids are busily rotting their brains and giving themselves carpal tunnel at the same time. But, we’ve got miles to go before we sleep, so I’ll be sure to keep you posted.I’d call home to check on the house/dog sitter, but she’s probably busy playing wii and texting.

The Big 4-are you freakin' kidding me-0

2011-12-30T23:07:00.000-08:00

Confession: It's my birthday. I'm 40. That is all. I have to go to bed now, it's midnight- that's way to late for people my age. Also, I need to start getting to bed earlier so I can start getting up at 4 a.m. drinking black coffee and cleaning my house every day. Learn to love early bird specialsCall about my new car insurance discountLook into getting one of those discounted bus passesBuy sensible shoes to avoid falling (I hear it's easy to break a hip at this age)If you have any other suggestions for me now that I'm 40, feel free to chime in. Otherwise, I'll see you all in line at the all-you-can-eat buffet on senior discount day.

View the original article here

Preschooler's Busy Book: 365 Creative Games & Activities To Occupy 3-6 Year Olds

2011-12-30T18:57:00.000-08:00

365 FUN, CREATIVE ACTIVITIES TO STIMULATE YOUR PRESCHOOLER EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR

This book contains 365 activities (one for each day of the year) for three- to six-year-olds using things found around the home. It shows parents and day-care providers how to:

Save money by making your own paints, playdough, craft clays, glue, paste, and other arts and crafts supplies.
Prevent boredom during even the longest stretches of indoor weather with ideas for indoor play, kitchen activities, and arts and crafts projects.
Stimulate a child's natural curiosity with fun reading, math, and science activities.
Encourage a child's physical, mental, and emotional growth with ideas for music, dance, drama, and outdoor play.
Celebrate holidays and other occasions with special projects and activities.
Keep children occupied during long trips or cross-town errands.

The Preschooler's Busy Book is written with warmth and sprinkled with humor and insight. It should be required reading for anyone raising or teaching preschool-age children.

Price: $9.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

Artwork, ABCs, and More Fun Things to Do

2011-12-30T14:53:00.000-08:00

Stop by here every Saturday for a family activity, a site for the kids, a shopping site, a site offering humor or inspiration about parenting children with special needs, and a site that's just silly or fun, all designed to get you through your weekend with kids amused and spirits intact. Today's list:

Activity: An Absorbing ExperimentKids' Site: ABCya.comShopping: Official R-Word StoreInspiration: Give Thanks for Your Child With Special NeedsJust for Fun: Special-Needs Christmas Carols 11 Sounds That Your Kids Have Probably Never HeardRead the full text here: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/106713#ixzz1fRlpW11i--brought to you by mental_floss!

View the original article here

The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us

2011-11-23T20:14:00.000-08:00

A senior writer at Time magazine explores what scientists and researchers are discovering about sibling bonds, the longest- lasting relationships we have in our lives.

Nobody affects us as deeply as our brothers and sisters-not parents, not children, not friends. From the time we-and they-are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to, how to conduct friendships and when to walk away. Our siblings are the only people we know who truly qualify as partners for life.

In this groundbreaking book, renowned science writer Jeffrey Kluger explores the complex world of siblings in a way that is equal parts science, psychology, sociology, and memoir. Based heavily on new and emerging research, The Sibling Effect examines birth order, twin studies, genetic encoding of behavioral traits, emotional disorders and their effects on-and effects from-sibling relationships, and much more.

With his signature insight and humor, Kluger takes big ideas about siblings and turns them into smart, accessible writing that will help anyone understand the importance of siblings in our lives.

Price: $26.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

Websites Keep Divorced Or Separated Parents Informed and Minimize Conflict

2011-11-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

For about the same price as one large cup of coffee per week, separated or divorced parents can communicate and co-manage their child's schedule without ever having to talk to each other. A growing list of Internet-based subscription services allow parents to enter and update their child's schedule enabling each party to access the information at any time. Thus, parents who prefer not to talk to each other can be informed of their child's schedule and keep them "on schedule" when it is their turn for visitation. Lack of information or misinformation about children's schedules is often a great source of frustration for parents that can lead to anger, resentment, and greater deterioration of the already strained relationship between parents. This in turn can cause negative emotional distress to the child. Indeed, children have traditionally become the messengers of their own schedules to both parents -- creating all kinds of opportunities for finger pointing. Hearing the angry exchanges between parents, children begin to believe that it is their fault. The increased anxiety children feel can adversely affect their schoolwork, socialization with friends, and general happiness. Additionally, with both parents having easy access to their child's schedule, there is less chance of missed doctor's appointments, sports practices, parent-teacher meetings, music lessons, etc.

Internet subscription services also require parents to be accountable because neither parent can claim not being told about an event if it has been entered into the program. The date of each entry and event is electronically recorded -providing a detailed history. Should a dispute arise, the history can be reviewed.

The most helpful of these programs can even enable parents to plan many months ahead. This is especially helpful for scheduling business commitments, vacations, and special activities for birthdays and holidays. Careful planning keeps everyone on track and understandably creates fewer issues for parents to fight over.

While some of these Internet services offer many bells and whistles, it is important to find one that provides only the features you need and are likely to use. My advice is to keep it simple. All that most parents need is scheduling, appointment reminders, two-way communication and possibly expense tracking. Some services also offer file sharing and photo exchanging. Find a service that has a free trial period so you can see if you like it. Otherwise, you could sign up for a service that appeared simple but is actually complicated or cumbersome.

How do you find these services? Do a website search using the term "joint parent's calendar" to see what services are available. One that I like because it is easy to use and has a free trial is http://www.jointparents.com In more than 25 years as a family law attorney, I can tell you that the conflict arising from separated and divorced parents trying to keep track of their child's schedule causes unnecessary turmoil. If you're having trouble jointly managing your child's schedule, let an Internet-based program assist you.

Charles D. Jamieson, Esquire, is the founding partner of The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. in West Palm Beach, Florida. He has practiced family law for more than 25 years and has represented individuals or acted as a legal consultant in divorce and child abuse cases throughout Florida, as well as in more than 20 states during his career. Mr. Jamieson can be reached at 561-478-0312.

Parenting a Young Athlete

2011-11-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

It's hard to attend a children's sporting event these days without running into those terribly enthusiastic parents who yell and jump around in the bleachers in an attempt to motivate their sons and daughters. Some even screen-print photos of their children onto t-shirts or contact the coach in advance to discuss how much playtime their child will receive. But will heckling the umpire or hoisting a banner really encourage a child? Instead of focusing so much on success, parents can use sporting events as opportunities to encourage their children to pursue more intangible values like cooperation and determination, no matter who wins.

Each year children have more and more activities to choose from, both in their schools and in private clubs. With the rising popularity of martial arts, rock climbing, and yoga, kids today have many interesting options that their parents probably didn't. While it is important to motivate children, parents can help keep their children's aspirations reasonable by encouraging a child to select only a couple activities. In the face of so many great opportunities, parents sometimes fail to set proper limits and eventually let their children become over-scheduled and stressed. Being involved in too many separate activities can create pressure on children who may feel they need to excel in every area. Even if she is only involved in a single activity, a child should be allowed to simply have fun playing the game, instead of wondering if she is living up to her parents' expectations.

By expressing their support in appropriate ways, parents can help their children relax in the face of challenges. For most children, a parent who consistently shows up with a smile and an encouraging word is much more helpful than an overzealous parent. By regularly attending a child's activity, the parent creates a foundation for building self-confidence and stability. Even if the child has aspirations of pursuing professional sports down the line, parents should ensure that the child cultivates various skills and grows up to be a well-rounded person. By encouraging the more intangible benefits of sports participation like problem-solving, persistence, and concern for others, parents can ensure that their children will gain lifelong skills that will serve them even outside of sports.

Though athletics can help children build self-confidence and social skills, an overwhelming schedule can negate many of the benefits of organized sports. Instead, parents should sit down with their children and determine which activities will actually suit them best without adding stress. By making the decision together, and setting appropriate boundaries, parents can create an environment in which their children will flourish.

While cheering and homemade signs can brighten a child's spirits during a competition, the most important motivator is simply a reliable parent who cultivates the general well-being of their child. Instead of heckling the sports officials, parents should maintain friendly relationships with their children's coaches and trainers, thereby modeling maturity and respect. Parents can help their children maintain reasonable expectations by emphasizing playfulness instead of competition, and lead them toward success by praising their strengths instead of their final scores.

Ethan has been an online writer for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in sports, finance, and product reviews, you can also check out his latest website on HP iPAQ PC rz1710 which reviews and lists the best HP iPAQ Pocket PC rz1710 for your personal and business needs.

The Art of Successful Parenting

2011-11-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

Love is no doubt an essential part of parenting, but it has to be judiciously mixed with knowledge, patience, courage, consistency, and the virtue of learning from own mistakes. A well-behaved child is not the result of luck, stresses the author in her informative and practical book 'The Art of Successful Parenting'.

She advises parents to keep an open mind as any preconceived notions may prove obstacles to effective parenting. What applied to them in their childhood, maybe out of place today. For one, most families have gone nuclear. They do not have the support system provided by the large network of relatives found earlier. Today, in many families, both parents are working, which draws away their exclusive attention from their children.

The author has dealt with the need for parents to be good role models for their offspring, helping children take their own decisions, developing self esteem, inculcating responsible behaviour, motivating them, assisting them in home work difficulties, maintaining a cordial family atmosphere, educating correct manners and etiquette.

Children, the author warns, may not always be angels. They can be quite problematic at times. Patience and courage are attributes, which, rank high up on the virtues needed to be good parents. Children, in their own little ways, can be manipulative, scheming, vengeful and violent in speech and behaviour. They are imitating their elders and enacting scenes they have witnessed. Parents need to ensure that they themselves do not teach children through their own habits, wrong undesired behaviour. Children learn from their environment. They observe their parents and later teachers.

Parents should not be spiteful. Even in misbehaviour, children often repeat what they have seen. Parents need to keep an open mind, correct and admit their own shortcomings, and cooperate with their children in developing and creating a progressive and positive environment at home. The Art of Successful Parenting teaches us how to enjoy bringing up your children, and providing the offspring with a joyful, fruitful environment.

Binay Srivastava

iMommy

2011-11-07T16:07:00.000-08:00

Confession: I (not so) secretly enjoy my kids' entertainment. I'm turning 40 this year. Yes, 40. And while I've had to assume the role of a 40 year old woman in many ways, like a career, raising children, maintaining a home and family, in some ways I have never grown up. Never is this fact more apparent then when I find myself alone in a room watching (and laughing at) iCarly, long after the children have left to pursue other activities. Come on, it's a good show.Admit it, you do it too. Maybe when you turn on the television, still tuned to Nickolodeon, you pause to watch a few hours minutes of Spongebob before changing the channel. Or perhaps you find yourself sitting with the kids pretending like you are doing something important like paying the bills, while you're really smiling along to Good Luck Charlie or yes, Hannah Montana. Or maybe you find yourself giggling like a school girl to what has possibly become my new favorite show, I'm in the Band. Seriously. Have you seen it? It is laugh out loud funny. I'll take that over half of the "grown up" crap that they have on these days.Sure I've loved my grown up shows over the years. But I'll take a good episode of Wizards of Waverly Place over Desperate Housewives any day. Sssshhh just don't tell the rest of the PTA. I just can't shake my love of the tween epics. To this day my favorite movies remain the movies I loved as a girl of 12 or 13; movies like The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink. And some of my favorite shows are shows I enjoyed when my bedtime was still 9 p.m. Wonder Years ring a bell for anyone? Kevin Arnold's era of innocence flashbacks brought me to tears every single week. How about Dawson's Creek? No one was happier than I was when Joey chose Pacey over Dawson.I won't apologize for singing along with the gang in the High School Musical series. Nor will I deny my desire to see another Camp Rock film released, you know, once Demi Lovato gets out of rehab and all. Yep, I'm a great big old tween at heart.And with all that said, if you find me listening to Justin Bieber, just shoot me. An almost 40 year old woman has to draw the line somewhere.

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The Red Green Show - Guide to Parenting [VHS]

2011-11-07T03:13:00.000-08:00

You know Red Green. He's that bearded guy on TV who hangs out at the Possum Lodge with his impossibly nerdy nephew Harold and a bevy of well-meaning but relatively clueless friends. This hourlong video culls clips that refer to parenting (mostly older children and teens) and grandparenting from the 10-year run of The Red Green Show. Green and friends offer teens advice on tattoos, how high to wear their pants, and what to "just say no" to ("arson, murder, theft, drug trafficking, and real estate sales"). Harold, meanwhile, has thoughts of his own on teen violence. He imagines turning it around for charity. "Imagine the United Way gang versus the UNICEF Way gang in a fundraiser, huh?" The most imaginative moments are drawn from the show's Handyman Corner segments and involve such delights as how to "teen-proof" a car (hint: a church pew is involved) and how to turn a bunch of used tires into a girl's bedroom furniture set. --Kimberly Heinrichs

Price: $9.99

Click here to buy from Amazon

Why You May Want Your Teen to Be on Facebook

2011-11-06T17:05:00.000-08:00

A friend of my son was recently the victim of a fake Facebook page put up in his name. I've been trying to help him get it taken down ever since, direct-messaging with the imposter and a classmate we suspect is involved, and it's disappeared a couple of times before popping back up again. I've found that Facebook makes it difficult to report a fraudulent page and to get it removed if you're not already on the service.

Oddly enough, the whole thing has made me think seriously of getting my son involved with Facebook, despite the fact that like his fake-paged buddy, he's shown little interest in such things. I'd like him to have a verifiable online identity before somebody makes one for him. The incident has also driven home the need to closely supervise kids who are using Facebook, since apparently creating a bogus account is dangerously easy to do. My son's classmates don't realize the trouble they could get into impersonating a peer or the hurt their fun causes, but a grown-up in their household ought to. I wonder where that grown-up is.

For those who have considered letting their teen with special needs get a Facebook page, I've put together some suggestions for keeping him or her safe online. And if you've never thought about it, I've got five reasons why you should, starting with the one mentioned here. Is your child on Facebook? If you've developed some supervisory strategies of your own, share them on the Readers Respond page.

Photo Illustration by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

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Will This Depiction of Down Syndrome Be a Horror Story?

2011-11-05T23:20:00.000-07:00

It's National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, so it seems only appropriate that a show debuting tonight includes a character with Down syndrome, providing work for an actress with Down syndrome. But appropriate is the last word anybody's going to use to describe American Horror Story, an FX series from the creators of Glee and Nip/Tuck that, depending on your taste for this sort of thing, will be either deliciously over the top or poisonously so.

The show, which debuts tonight, October 5, at 10 p.m., deals with a family who moves into a luridly haunted house (and inexplicably stays there, because, come on). Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton star as the Harmons, but the character we're interested in here lives next door. According to an Associated Press review by Frazier Moore, "Jessica Lange plays Constance, a busybody Southern belle with an even more intrusive daughter, Adelaide, who (like Jamie Brewer, portraying her splendidly) has Down syndrome. Adult but childlike, the irrepressible Adelaide keeps busting into the Harmons' home."

Could be interesting. Could be insulting. Glee has done a good job of featuring an actress with Down syndrome, Lauren Potter, in the role of Becky. But critic Alan Sepinwall, writing on the HitFix site, suggests we shouldn't expect the same sensitivity here as he runs down the show's everything-including-the-kitchen-sink approach:

"You want to throw out all the goodwill you generated on 'Glee' by writing three-dimensional characters with Down syndrome and give Lange's character a daughter with Down's who's there only as creepy set dressing? Have at it! ... It's rare that I get angry at bad television - usually it just disappoints me - but a scene in the second episode featuring Lange's daughter (played by Jamie Brewer) made my blood boil at its tone-deafness."

Well, there's something to look forward to. Also raising questions about what sort of territory we're getting into here is a New York Times review by Mike Hale that starts: "If you like the jar with the baby's leg, wait until you see the jar holding the baby's head. If one actress with Down syndrome doesn't provide enough Tod Browning-style otherness for you, don't worry -- there are two."

In a world where there are precious few characters with disabilities in entertainment, and fewer still that are played by actors with disabilities, one hates to put propriety tests on every part and plotline. Still, I think we could all do without the use of Down syndrome as shorthand for scary freakishness. If you're watching the show (which I won't be, for reasons that have nothing to do with disability depictions and everything to do with the fact that I creep out easily), share your thoughts about it in the comments here.

(And in other "visibility is a mixed blessing" news, Disability Scoop reports that South Park has an upcoming episode titled "Ass Burgers." Sigh.)

Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images

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What Makes a Child Eligible for Special Education in Your State?

2011-11-05T10:19:00.001-07:00

My son has had the same special-education classification all through his schooling, but my daughter's shifted throughout her years in the system, as labels that fit her well got changed or eliminated and labels that really didn't became the most expedient option. Figuring out how a kid who is obviously eligible for special education is made so officially has always seemed a little bit like the proverbial sausage-making to me; as long as the end product is acceptable, you don't really want to know what goes into it.
If you're in a position where you want to know what categories are available in your state and what goes into filing a child under one of them, I've put together an article that should help. With the help of a page on the National Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center (NECTAC) site that links to special-education laws in each state, I located the list of disabilities that make a child eligible for special education in each state and assembled them into one document so that you can find our own state's list and see how it compares to others. You can then follow a link to find out more about the definition and eligibility criteria for those disorders.
"Special-Education Eligibility Categories, State-by-State" joins a number of other state-specific articles with information about early intervention, special education, and transition to adulthood. Do you have experience with special education in your state that you can share with other parents? Add it on the Readers Respond page.
Photo by Terri Mauro

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The Art Of Parenting

2011-11-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Parenting is an art. There are no manuals to give us all the answers. Sometimes we learn through trial and error. The key for parents is to not continue doing the same things repeatedly that don't work. Try a different approach. Remember that mistakes are a necessary function of change. The goal of parenting is to help your children develop a sense of autonomy. Teaching them to be self-directed and responsible means that one must learn not to underfunction or overfunction as a parent. Underfunctioning or being an "absent parent" leaves a child feeling alone without support. The lack of encouragement, nurturing, and affirmation can have a detrimental impact on a child's current behavior.

Many parents overfunction in the process of parenting. They get overly involved in every aspect of their child's life. They vicariously live their lives through their children. I always tell my parents, "Never do for a child what he can do for himself." Children learn to manipulate overfunctioning parents to get what they want. Since overfuntioning parents fear the disapproval of their children, they cater and give in to their wants and needs even if they are unreasonable requests. Fritz Perls, Gestalt therapist used to remark, "Kids need to be appropriately frustrated." What he meant was that overparenting creates an environment whereby children do not learn the skills necessary for self-regulation. Sometimes we need to let our kids figure things out without interference.

Parents often tend to parent the way they were disciplined. This may involve some archaic notions about parenting that no longer work in today's world with children. For parents, this may mean giving up the image of parenting that was established during their childhood. Sometimes a parent will swallow the image of parenting that was handed down to them even if that perception was intolerable. Sometimes caretaking for our kids involves doing the opposite of what was done to us. As parents we need to get in touch with the kid within us. We need to remember what it was like to play and have fun. If our childhood wasn't fun, then we need to grieve it and vow to make things different for our own children. If our "inner parent" is critical, we will most likely have unrealistic expectations for our children. The inner critic is full or moral injunctions and is the judge and jury of our behavior. Parents need to get in touch with the critic, understand its contents and then detach from the oughts, musts and shoulds. Parents will want to rationally respond to the inner critic with more reasonable ways of viewing specific issues. This process will assist in clearing up the "muddy water" when it comes to coaching and advising our children.

In parenting, using positive reinforcement when your child gets things right, or using encouragement helps promote involvement. Maintaining consistent consequences, both positive and negative, are more effective than trying to coerce your child to do something for you. Asking kids to make value judgments about choices they make is more effective than moralizing or pontificating about the right way to do things. If a child brings home a poor grade from school, resist the urge to lecture on the value of education. Ask your child, "Is what you're doing in this class good enough for you? How do you feel about this evaluation from the teacher?" Do not accept excuses, such as I hate this teacher, or I forgot to do some assignments. State your disappointment in what has happened and ask your child what he plans on doing to improve the matter. Box him in by making him accountable for coming up with a reasonable plan for improvement. Get it in writing if you wish, or with a handshake, but get a commitment for improved behavior. Never let your child off the hook. Make your child explain how he will change things for the better. Be calm, somewhat detached and persistent. Remember, parenting is an art.

James P. Krehbiel is an author, contributing writer for familyresource.com, and a cognitive-behavioral therapist. Sample chapters of his book, STEPPING OUT OF THE BUBBLE can found at booklocker.com/pdf/2242s.pdf. He can be reached at krehbielcounseling.com.

What Steve Jobs Meant to Parents of Children With Special Needs

2011-11-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

There will be many tributes today and in the days to come to Steve Jobs, the iconic Apple co-founder who passed away yesterday at the age of 56. He'll be praised for his vision, for his leadership charisma, for inspiring speeches, for bringing personal computers into our households, for transforming the way we listen to music and watch movies and expect cartoons to feel. I'm typing this on my MacBook while listening to music on my iPhone, in a house with four other Macs and a wealth of iGadgets, so no arguments from me about any of that.

But for parents of children with special needs, his biggest legacy will be the way that the iPod Touch, the iPhone, and most especially and gloriously the iPad opened up doors for our children, providing them with a way to communicate, a way to connect with the world, a way to be cool in the eyes of their peers, even -- least of all, but a lifesaver nonetheless -- a way to amuse themselves in waiting rooms.

While others gather Steve quotes to share, or tributes from great minds in tech or business or politics, I thought I'd gather some words from bloggers who can testify to the way Jobs, through his vision and the products he ushered into being, opened up a whole new and wonderful world for children like ours.

"Apple's iPad gives my son independence he's never had before; Apple's iPad: Year One video, which Steve introduced at the Apple iPad 2 launch in March, showed the entire world that people with autism need only the right opportunities and tools to show how much ass they can kick. Rumor has it Mr. Jobs particularly liked the autism segment of the iPad video. It's nice to think that one of our boy's achievements has been to meet those lofty standards." -- Shannon Des Roches Rosa, on Squidalicious
"There are countless children like C and Pudding, who 'think different' and now have the ability to communicate, to connect, even to escape from the longest hauliest of long-haul flights thanks to this technology. Who knows, perhaps they may one day be those adults who push the human race forward. It may not have been his original intention, but Steve Jobs' vision created the tools for these people. The ultimate square pegs in round holes. Staring at an empty canvas and seeing a work of art. Sitting in silence and hearing a song that's never been written. This was his legacy: bridging our worlds. I think Steve Jobs must have been crazy enough to think he could change the world, because he did. He changed ours." -- Spectrummy Mummy
"Charlie warms up slowly to new things and first left the iPad to gather dust. I showed him the music and photos and how to type into the search box on the YouTube app -- and then, one day we saw him poking, swiping, tapping on the iPad screen with his long fingers. For the first time, here was a device that he could use entirely on his own, to listen to music and see photos. The touch screen, the size of the iPad, the vividness of images on the display, the auditory qualities: All are perfectly suited for him. That is to say, the design of the iPad was exactly what Charlie needed and could independently, naturally figure out how to use." -- Kristina Chew, on Care 2
"I hadn't ever seen Max use his pointer finger like that, no small feat for a child with cerebral palsy whose hands and fingers tend to be stiff. The iPad motivated Max to isolate his finger and maneuver it. Soon enough, he'd learned to use a lighter touch on the screen and he'd zoom around the iPad. He also discovered YouTube and Lightning McQueen videos, another life-changing event for him." -- Ellen Seidman, on Love That Max
"Most of all, I appreciate Steve Jobs because he has given my nonverbal daughter a voice. Lily may never speak in a traditional manner, simply opening her mouth and using her words. But because of Steve Jobs, I don't have to worry about Lily never being heard. And for that, he has my eternal thanks." -- Lana, on?Along Came the Bird
"It may be a stretch to say Steve Jobs invented the iPod Touch or most of the technologies contained in it. But Steve Jobs certainly put it in my son's hands, both by making it a sub-$200 device (and in our case, giving it away free with a laptop) and by helping to create an ecosystem of software applications for people with disabilities -- perhaps especially communication disabilities." -- Tim Carmody, on Wired
"BJ uses his donated IPad to communicate receptive and expressive needs/wants. It helps us understand BJ and offer him a tool to help with emotions he is feeling and the voice that he can't yet express them with. BJ has so much to say -- and thanks to Mr. Jobs' idea, he's developing the voice to say it. The IPad gives us a peek into the the BJ we know is there, but who can't find his way out ... yet." -- evette 521, on the Readers Respond page
"The iPod is his conversation starter ('Hey, Bud - what are you listening to?'). It is his shelter from the storm. It is his socially acceptable and entirely private way to restore local coherence when the world gets overwhelming, allowing him to replay brief snippets of songs or sounds bites, over, and over, and over again, as he reclaims control when his world is too unpredictable, as he restores his own sense of internal order when his external environment seems in chaos. For Bud, it's a life-saver - and a gift that only Steve Jobs could give." -- MOM - Not Otherwise Specified
"We never thought a CEO of a corporate would care. He did, he didn't have to, but he diverted resources to make a difference to just one person, the difference between dependence and independence in a number of important ways." --?Naked Lunch
"The way my lil boy can navigate his way through the Apple touch products is just... amazing to witness. It is so completely instinctual, that he picked it up within just a few days of having being introduced. His fine motor skills are amazing, his speech is coming on as he tries to copy what's being said in the videos he watched... he's even figured out how to put his favourite songs on to dance to. Not to mention now knowing when he needs some quiet time and taking the iPad up to his room to have some alone time. It's given him some independence in a way I never thought would be possible!" -- Marylin, on SoftThistle
"Steve Jobs was a visionary, an out-of-the-box thinker and a remarkable leader. I think his legacy will not be about technological innovation as much as his transformation of the way we connect to one another, the ways in which we open up new horizons for both those who would boldly step into the future as well as those for whom, perhaps, there was once no future." -- Niksmom, on?Maternal Instincts
"Steve Jobs interacted in some way with Every. Last. One. Of. Us. And in so doing, he changed the face of ... well, everything. But that's just the beginning. What his tools did, do and will continue to do for people with autism? Language, connection, escape, freedom, access. I don't know where to begin." -- Jess, on A Diary of a Mom
"Without Steve Jobs, Gracie might not be calling me Mummy. He truly changed our lives. Rest in Peace Steve, we will miss you." -- hammiesblog, on?Autisable

I'll add more quotes as I find them, and if you've found or written a blog post on the subject, please leave a link in the comments. Apple is urging those who want to send their respects to e-mail rememberingsteve@apple.com, and it would be great to see strong mention of the value of Jobs's work to individuals with special needs and their families among those tributes. If an iPad has changed your child's life, you can also attest to that here on the Readers' Respond page for "How Does Your Child Use an iPad?"

For more on how iPods and iPads are helping kids with special needs, read or contribute to these articles:

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iMommy

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Why You May Want Your Teen to Be on Facebook

Will This Depiction of Down Syndrome Be a Horror Story?

What Makes a Child Eligible for Special Education in Your State?

The Art Of Parenting

What Steve Jobs Meant to Parents of Children With Special Needs

Preschooler's Busy Book: 365 Creative Games & Activities To Occupy 3-6 Year Olds