Palaver

Procrastination

2010-12-29T16:15:00.000-08:00

So. I'm moving to Alabama.. and I had about 12 days to pack up my entire life.

Naurally I started out cocky

Then after awhile...

Then.

On the day before I'm supposed to leave..

You'd think that the thought I have to leave in the morning, would spur me into action..
but no...

And here I am.

Oprah is NOT cool pt 2 " G - Rizzle"

2010-12-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to a dear friend :)

If Ronald Mcdonald was a gangster.

Oprah is NOT cool.

2010-12-16T15:15:00.000-08:00

So here I am. Sitting in McDonalds, typing up my blog. Ive been needing to write for awhile, but my life is so stressed I have no idea what to write about!!!

Im pretty positive Mcdonalds is plotting world domination. They're renovating their stores to look more posh and starbucks-y...they're making coffee (YUM!) and their food is just as addicting as its always been. But!!! DUN DUN DUN. The plot thickens! They've added FREE wi-fi to their list of increasing awesomeness. Im pretty positive they're going to add a shower in the bathroom so you can eat,sleep and breathe mcdonalds. =O I just came up with a grand IDEA!

Dont ask me why it looks more like a public school than a motel because I dont know :D

all Im saying is, Mcdonalds would make a killing.... They have food, and a place to sleep.

And half the world is addicted to Mcdonalds... I should totally pitch this idea to the mcdonalds company!!!

Anyway. It took me ...way too long to draw that but I had a grand time!

Also. Question.

What man decided it was a fashion statement for him to wear his pants so low he must hold them up by his crotch?

Just had fun drawing it.. and now.. I leave you with this stupid blog post.

Im slipping. Truly Im slipping :(

Unemployment Part 2

2010-12-05T18:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, Part two.
I always thought 'part two' .. or three or four, was always a lame idea, because.. that just tells me that the writer failed to keep everyones attention in 'part one', therefore having to write a part two so that people would read it just in hopes it'd be better than the first one.

Well. This isn't that writer. Cause I'm the sticky pickle and I'm awesome... in part one, two, three AND four. So SUCK IT.

I haven't had much sleep this past weekend.. So this blog is liable to be long, all over the place, and mildly if not obscenely inappropriate...

I realized it was time for me to write a new blog post, when I stood in the kitchen drinking soda from a can with a straw... for at least 10 minutes.
See?

(note blank stare)

So this is me blogging about how unemployment makes you want to blog about every moment in your life, and everything else that comes to mind!

I was on my way home from Alabama, on Saturday, the afternoon Auburn was playing Carolina... and I was trying to listen to it on the way home.. except.. It kept going in and out.
And when it did that my facial expression changed a lot...

:P

Needless to say, I didn't get to listen to the game =O

oh and I drew a picture for you guys of how I feel about unemployment!!!

In case you cant tell.. it says Unemployment in that little pool...

I'm starting to drown in unemployment....

its..weird..

but it amused me!

Also. Has anyone noticed how common words have become dirty words?

Like, wood?

I saw a sign on the way somewhere that says " We sell wood!"

And I died laughing.

I'm leaving you with that, because. Well. Id end up talking about wood some more if this blog went on, and so I am going to leave you with the pool of unemployment..

Don't drown!

EDIT:

I realize this is a terrible blog post, but I got to draw pictures and talk about wood. Also. Wikipedia is an awesome place to go to if you're bored.. That and Urban Dictionary...Go type in your name and see what your definition is :P

Money Making...

2010-12-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Just a short post to share...

I MADE 1.21$ ON MY ADS! =O

Granted, I wont get paid until it adds up to 20.00...so.. it may be awhile..but... 1.21 is better than nothing.. and somehow.. I feel strangely rich. Its pretty awesome =D

In other news.. Joanna and I are watching some show on the TV.. and Train is playing that Hey soul sister song...

and theres some lyrics..
"I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind"

Im sure untrimmed means something other than untrimmed chest hairs...
but thats what I think of...

Its like.
Dude. Trim yo' chest hairs foo'!!!!!

Gross....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

2010-11-29T21:05:00.000-08:00

I'm aware its still November. But Christmas this year is very different for me.. because... I'M CELEBRATING IT!!!!!!

Most people stare at me like I have some deformed child growing out of the side of my head when I say that.

But...its true! My parents never celebrated Christmas for their variant personal beliefs, and this year, being 18, I can now make the decision myself!

I'm visiting my old roommate in Alabama right now, and since she's going away for Christmas she said she was going to go ahead and put up her Christmas tree and that I could help...

I literally was vibrating from sheer excitement

I don't think she noticed :)
((And don't ask why I'm wearing a flowy dress and have huge boobs in the picture because I do NOT know))

I helped her put up the tree..

Now this tree isn't very big..
by very big I meant it came to my waist. I'm not sure , but I think my roommate was wondering if I'd be disappointed at the height.

But my reaction was the same..

I dug through her meager supply (I say meager, but I think it really is enough for the little tree)

I was so excited I had to remind myself to let her put on some ornaments too..

But by the end..

I wanted to ask her if we could take it all down and put it back up.. But I couldn't bear the thought of taking the tree down , even if it was just to put it back up...

If I had the money I would probably go buy the biggest tree ever, or lots of trees..
and my roommate would come to a maze of beautifully decorated trees..

But alas, I have no money. I think I may soon start to annoy all the Christmas geezers with my christmasvirginity...

Its like I have Christmas cheer and excitement shooting from my very pores...

Sufficed to say..

I'M EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS !!!!

I had another title for this post, but Annoying Repetitive Musical Neighbor has replaced it with " WOULD YOU SHUT THAT CRAP OFF BEFORE I SHOOT YOU?!"

2010-11-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

..... I had a fantastic blog post all worked up in my mind for you, I was headed up to my room to get on my computer when I hear "BOOM BOOM BANG, BOOMIDY BOOM BOOM BANG BANG BOOM BOOM" ... thats right, The bass of some deranged person's music. Now, I always thought myself tolerant of musical garbage. But. It set my teeth on edge. I stomped up to my room in hopes of ignoring it, but it only got louder.... I finally stomped down the stairs in my monster slippers, ripped pj pants and shirt, and stormed outside.

I'm not usually an angry person. But. I could not find. The source of that godforsaken music. It stopped though and I walked inside and upstairs again...content.

And it started again .

"BOOM BOOM BANG, BOOMIDY BOOM BOOM BANG BANG BOOM BOOM"

I was going to march outside and search for it again when Boyfriend pointed out it could be some psychotic freak that answered the door. I told him I was turning into a psychotic freak just having to listen to it, and my best friend advised that whoever it was would see I'm a pretty girl and might pull me inside.. O__O

I disagree.

This is what i would look like if I found the perpetrator...

.... I don't find that attractive. I find it redonkulous and crazy.

Anyway.
Blogspot just gave me a fit and I had to create a photobucket to upload that picture, its like the blogging world just DOES NOT want me to blog... Between Annoying repetitive musical neighbor and having to fight to put up ONE picture... My creativity is draining!!!

I'm supposed to be packing for an 11 day trip... that I have to leave for at 8:15 in the morning (it is now 1:30)... but I thought I would have an amazing blogpost to leave ya'll with.. but nnooooo.

I'm going to find that stupid neighbor and kick him. or her.

Where the question "Why did the chicken cross the road?" came from...

2010-11-22T21:54:00.000-08:00

First of all, my apologies for taking so stinking long to repost... wisdom teeth arent as fun as people make them out to be. They're also not very..wise. I'm trying to think of exactly what to tell all of you without making this post really long and really whiny,because let me tell you, I was a HUGE baby last week. NOT entertainment,people!!!
So you'll have to settle for a short blog post about the history of where the question "why did the chicken cross the road?" came from.

An inquisitive girl spots a chicken crossing the road, so she inquires of said chicken...

...The chicken did not reply.

.... and she got run over by a car.

and then at her funeral, her friends promised to circulate that question from then on, in her memory. (**inspiring,tearful music**)

Except .... (**record screech**)

Nobody knows the origin anymore, much less her name...

and nobody knows why the chicken crossed the road and personally I dont think anyone really even cares..

The End

I Just Found A Light Blue Nerd in my Nerd Candy Box.... ((Post at 1am))

2010-11-11T23:23:00.000-08:00

Its a particularly dyslexic, ADHD-ic night. So pardon any oddities. Well. More odd than normal. I've already edited this like 5 times and I've barely started typing- this may be a bad idea...

I almost spelled "box" - "bocks"

I spelled dyslexic- cixesledy.

And I keep thinking I finished a word when I really didnt..

Anyway.

I realized I have a "blog chair".

I have yet to write a blog anywhere else but in this chair. ..

How I see the chair..

So there's that. Theres also usually a cup of coffee sitting beside me, But I dont have coffee tonight. I have my tired and partly sick self fueling this blog post, So if you dont like it. Bite me.
Well. Please dont.. I dont want Aids.

Today I had THE weirdest and oddest songs stuck in my head.
All day. And they didnt go together, and I havent heard anyone of them in awhile...

So I caught myself randomly (and a bit too happily) singing parts of all the songs swimming around in my head.. and it went a little like this...

Also.
I went to the movies with dad tonight.

Candy costs an unimaginable amount at theatres. And you know how they have "no outside food or drink" signs? Yet somehow us girls with the huge purses can bring in candy and drinks with them knowing it?

I just had a vision from like, the future. Where they do purse checks at theatres.
Why?
because "there are no outside food or drinks"

I dont know.
I just invision.

So. Buy your candy at walmart while you can ladies, because you never know when the theatre will put in a Candy-Detector and then we'll have to buy stupid over priced candy AT the theatre.

UPDATE: It is now 2:30ish or something and my drawings look like total poop.
actually I probably couldnt even draw POOP if i wanted to..

I think that looks like the worst drawn poop in my life.
see?
I'm going to bed.
Sorry you have to read such a crappy blog
crappy. get it?! haha -_-

P.S If you laughed at this blog..
you're really gross.
but I'm glad you laughed. cause laughing is good. Just dont laugh at poop too much, people might think you're deranged. . .

Horrible Blog post. Dont Even Read it..

2010-11-10T11:40:00.000-08:00

What is wrong with this picture? Coffee. The non existence of it. Hold on.

See? This is so much better.
Let me draw you a picture.
Me without coffee...

And then we have..

Me WITH coffee...

I suppose everyone gets the "picture" now huh? get it.. you get the picture?

Never mind.

I wanted to write this morning, but I'm kind of sick and REALLY tired.

You know those commercials with the phlegm and junk? How they move into your throat?

that is ALL wrong.

I'm pretty sure its little angry miners with pick axes in my throat. Because I don't feel just slime when I swallow. I feel angry miners picking at my throat as if there is some sort of treasure in there.

THERE ISN'T.

and coughing just makes them dig deeper and harder. So screw you, Phlegm in your chest commercial! I have angry miners in my throat and chest and they are NOT happy.

Make me a medicine for THAT why don't you???

Yesterday was really annoying. What if the world operated on doctors time?

At least when we go to the doctor we plan on somewhat of a delay. Like 30 minutes at most.

Except yesterday. My appointment was at 3. I arrived at 2 :45.. and I did not leave the doctors office til nearly 2 hours later.

I think it gives them some sort of pleasure. I don't know. but this was the most awkward visit Ive ever had.

not to mention annoying beyond all measure. They finally get my hopes up, after waiting for a VERY long time.

Take me to a room with a horridly colored chair with no back, and the nurse talks to me for all of 2 minutes and says the doctor "will be in shortly" .

So I naturally assume maybe this time she actually means what she says...

And I kid you not, That is how tiny the room is. I counted the ceiling squares and theres only 14.

So I'm sitting there, honest to God trying to remain civil and patient.
And the unthinkable happens.

that's right. One right after the other.

Now you may think "oh. banging. huh. must be hanging something"

When I hear bangs. one. right. after. the. other. to the point my wall is vibrating with each bang.

I don't think hanging a picture.

I try to think of ANYTHING else it could be.

I'm in a dentist office. Why would a dentist have anything he needs to bang on? oh God. it just doesn't sound right!

I rocked back and forth trying to pretend it was something else.

it was the Nazis trying to get to me because I'm 1/8th Jewish...

The doctor was pounding somebodies skull against the wall because their wisdom teeth just wouldn't come out.

World War 10 was about to start.

They couldn't get to me so they had to bang on the door to get it down, that's just how committed they are to their patients!!!

Oh GOD! ANYTHING BUT WHAT I THOUGHT!

And then.

And then I think. "well. that's over.. Maybe he'll come in now"

But no.

I sit. and for some reason, the silence is worse than the banging.

I chew my nails.

I count how many nostril hairs I have.

I count how many white spots I have on my fingers. Remember how parents used to tell you the white spots on your fingernails were how many boyfriends you had? I have like. 8 boyfriends then.

*-(Boyfriend, I promise I don't, there's only you)-*

I start banging my head on the wall.

And he appears. The doctor that is. Not my boyfriend.

What bothers me is that he's straightening his scrub shirt as he enters.

I think to myself "no. This is a public place. Its fine"

I mean...common sense just says so.

He apologized for the wait. And I say "its okay!"

Why do we do that? I wanted to strangle him until he cried because he made me wait so long AND made my mind go in places it did NOT wanna go.

So I nicknamed the doctor. Pedophiliac Awkward Over Friendly Doctor

PAOFD for short.

We'll skip past all that because,well. Its boring.

I think I'm boring myself. After PAOFD got done being his pedophiliactic over friendly self, he told me to WAIT some more! O_O

Then after I waited, and waited... and waited.. he popped his head in and said his secretary would come get me to take care of a few things. And WINKED.

She finally came and got me out of the room I was quickly naming "my cell".

I sat and waited some MORE.

My anger dissipated when I saw she was dealing with a man who had clearly just had his teeth pulled, he had huge chipmunk cheeks and lots of gauze. And he was arguing over whether 2 +2 = 7or not. And on top of chipmunk cheeks and gauze, he had the largest accent Ive ever heard.

And the argument went on for about 30 minutes. *(not really but it felt like it )*

anyway. I finally got out of there. And now I'm going back next week to let PAOFD knock me out. Does this seem like a good idea to me? No. Do I have a choice? maybe, but I don't feel like waiting 3 more years in doctors office.. Ill keep PAOFD and hope the only thing that's gone is my teeth when I wake up...

That's a preview of what I'm going to look like next week while posting a blog.

Feel sorry for me?

Bring me frosties and slushies and lots of movies next week.

Ill take money donations too. . .

just email me at

thestickypickle@gmail.com

UPDATE: You may notice words in here you have never seen before. Thats because I make up words. Its called Caro-Linguistics ((Boyfriend came up with that :) ))

Stages Of A Coffee Addict Trying To Quit

2010-11-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

HINT: Since Blogspot is a dummy and wont let me enlarge my picture anymore, Hit CTRL and the + button. It'll enlarge it :)

Why I'm Convinced Facebook's Creator is a Demented Control Freak

2010-11-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

So we've all been through the website phases... First Xanga, then Myspace then Facebook, and now supposedly Twitter.
Though I've never been a fan of twitter, its kind of like facebook, only minus EVERYTHING but the status updates and photos. Or at least that's the way it was when I used it last. I think Facebook's creator is either demented or a control freak, or possibly both. We'll call Facebook Creator... Failbookist. We call him failbookist, because well. Lets face it, facebook fails.

Reason # 1.

You finally get used to the "new" layout and junk. And just when you get used to it....

I think his entire life hangs on the balance of how many people use facebook. If it isn't popular enough he must find some new way to frustrate us, with some sort of addicting computer code that keeps us around trying to figure it all out. He lays awake at night...

And once Failbookist realizes we're finally happy and content with facebook. he throws in a kink.

Reason # 2

Mostly based off and almost the same as reason #1

Chatting.

I think Failbookist doesn't have any friends and for some reason it gives him great delight to frustrate us with Facebook Chat.

Only.. Failbookist has made sure we actually DON'T chat...we can get enough words in to keep us on facebook hoping Chat will finally work. Until before we realize it.. what was supposed to be a 5 minute conversation has turned into a 5 hour one, with only a few words every hour .

and soon..

and.. what else am I leaving out?

Oh! New ways to stalk your friends! Instead of Wall-to-Wall.

We now have "see friendship".

Its like high school all over again! Failbookist wants to introduce jealousy,drama and all that other crap we experienced in high school and we NEVER want to go through again. But now we do. We can stalk that one girl that wont leave your best friend alone.. We can see who our boyfriend talks to, and gripe about how he doesn't comment as much on our page... We learn secrets and soon we turn into 16 year old girls about everything we see on facebook.

(FYI. I do not do that or think that about my boyfriend )

and last but not least.. well. actually it probably is least.

Those annoying reminders to "get in touch". Or those pictures from like, 7th grade you don't really want anyone seeing, so you untag yourself, only for them to resurface and ask some random person on your friends list to tag you in them... theres some pictures on facebook you cant get people to remove, so you untag them.. until they resurface..and it goes something like this.. .

And that.. my friends. Is why I think Failbookist (Facebook Creator) is a demented control freak.

Unemployment and A Dead Pigs Revenge

2010-11-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

First of all I want to start off by stating my irritation. My inner English professor is unhappy at my URL.. Sticki is not the way to spell sticky. But some dumb butt before me wanted a URL with "Stickypickle" So I'm stuck with "Stickipickle" which just makes me look like a 12 year old who cant spell. Who else besides me would even WANT a URL like that?! Also. Picking a blog name is like trying to find a booger in the back of your nose. You know its there, and no matter how hard you try to pull it out of the recesses of your head its just stuck in there waiting till you sneeze. Or. Something like that. And don't ask how I know so much about finding a booger. We'll just say its my amazing imagination. I love words, so I found Palaver. It sounds like Cadaver. Only, not. It means something along the lines of idle chatter, and since we all know that's what I do. Or will do, it only seemed fitting. Anyway. Sticky Pickles and Cadavers aside (for some reason I wanted to say "dead cadavers" but what other cadavers do they make?!), Lets get to the topic at hand.

Unemployment sucks.
The first two weeks you start out

Then after the Mountain Dew and Skittle high has worn off..

week three you realize....

Then after a month or so has gone by.. and the only thing you have in your pockets is lint and some gum that you forgot you wrapped up, and now is permanently stuck inside the lining of your pocket after being washed and dried... rendering Left Pocket basically useless, unless you need somewhere to stash more already chewed gum.

Then you realize you really cant afford anything, and finally. You begin thinking of drastic ways to earn money, or get back what you already have used.. and soon...

... Thusly how Unemployment can lead to Insanity.

As for Dead Pigs revenge.

I'm fairly positive pigs know they're going to die. so they come up with a revenge plan. They train their meat, soon to be turned into scrumptious bacon.. to spit at us humans.

They somehow know and conspire with their bodies, that when heated to a sizzling degree, their fat shall jump out and burn everything in its path. Including unsuspecting bacon lovers.