Mental Reality

Moblogging - Mobile Blogging is on the Cutting Edge

2010-08-31T15:11:00.001-04:00

Mobile blogging is an exciting phenomenon that is
sweeping the blogosphere. One of the reasons why a lot
of bloggers are attracted to the medium of blogging in
the first place is that they enjoy being able to make
frequent updates and posts that keep all of their visitors
up to speed with current situations. Mobile blogs, or
"moblogs," take this to the extreme by allowing users to
post things literally as they happen. This new wave of
moblogs and mobloggers keep web surfers up to date
with good and bad events of importance as they occur
all over the world, helping to make international
communication faster and more accurate.

Many people feel that the limitations of blogging have a
lot to do with geography. After all, there is only so
current that a blog can be when you need to run home
and boot up in order to update it. However, mobile
blogging marks the beginning of an thrilling new era
when web-based communication can happen
spontaneously from any location. Moblogging devices
mean that there is almost nowhere on the planet that
remains off-limits for bloggers.

Mobile blogging is still in its infancy because the
technology that makes it possible has only recently hit
the global market. The first moblog technology became
available over a decade ago, but it is only the past two
or three years that mobile web devices have become
user-friendly enough to appeal to most consumers. As
camera phones and other mobile technology become
more popular, more and more bloggers are getting away
from their desks and are hitting the streets. Moblogging
is becoming much more widespread that it was even a
few months ago, and mobloggers are quickly attracting
a lot of attention with the blogging community. It is not
yet clear whether moblogs will become the dominant
kinds of blogs in the years to come, but the current
trend seems to imply that moblogs are here to stay.

Mobile devices make it possible to blog from the sites
where current events are unfolding, which is one of the
reasons why mobile blogging has so much thrilling
potential to revolutionize the blogosphere. A moblogger
with a camera phone can post blog entries from, say, the
foot of the podium at a presidential speech, or from the
stands during the final moments of the world series.
This enables bloggers to experience the same real time
thrills that live television coverage provides, but in a
more democratic medium. The combination of mobility
and individual control that moblogging provides
certainly places mobloggers on the cutting edge of
today's communications technology, and it is hard to
imagine that the number and prestige of moblogs will
not continue to grow in the coming years.

Improve Your Credit Score in Thirty days

2009-09-03T16:37:00.005-04:00

You probably must think that it is so difficult to recovery from a bad credit score. You have had years of not making it priority and letting little things cost your big things like a car, house or even a business. Regardless of how low your score is it can always be improved all it takes is following a few key guidelines.

You may want to first figure out how your credit report looking. This report can be obtained for free through credit report. You can request to get reports from all three agencies by simply answering a few questions.

Though this doesn’t provide you with a credit score. It gives you the opportunity to scan your report for an errors that may be there. If you do identify anything that looks incorrect you can file a dispute. Make sure to check any thing that is over seven years old. These items should have fallen off your report. If not add this to your dispute and if the number to the company is provide contact them directly. Once the dispute is submitted give it at least thirty days to receive the results.

If you have any late payments from current accounts, call the company and see if you can pay the balance in full and remove some of the late charge. Starting to pay down majority of the balances can help to improve your credit score. A good rule of thumb is to always use less than 40% of your limit and try to pay at least half the balance each month.

Also apply for an account with a company like MyFico , has a great tool. Anytime there is a change in your credit score, an email is sent out to alert you of the difference in your score and what may have caused it. I have found this to be very helpful in maintaining a great score.

If you follow the few guidelines above you should start seeing a change. There are many other alternatives if you don’t have the time to do this your self. Here is a website that helped me rather quickly boost my credit score in a significant amount of time, Remember improving your score is the key, don't be afraid to take the leap.Click Here!

Government Spending. Have you ever wondered how their budget looks..

2009-08-20T17:43:00.004-04:00

Check out how the Government spends its money.. Click Here

My Baby Fell Out of His Crib !

2009-08-20T17:26:00.004-04:00

This post is another FYI for new mothers out their. My 8 month old son, what an adventurer he is... It was a normal morning I was getting him ready for the sitters and placed him in his crib as I went to run the water for his bath. I turned my back for a split second. I immediately heard a Giggle, Thump, and a high pitched scream. My little guy had fallen from his crib and landed on the back of his head. I immediately grabbed him and he had a ginormous bump on the back of his head. To make a long story short I rushed him to the emergency room, and there he got his first cat scan. The cat scan was negative and they send us home with instructions of a cold compress and Tylenol. Thank goodness he was OK, but it just didn't' sit well with me I didn't know how he was able to reach and fall over the crib. It was lowered and we had one more level, but it still didn't' add up he should have been successful in his adventures. That night I placed him in the crib and watched like a hawk. To my surprise he used the crib bumper to as a stepping stole to make his escape. Just to those mother that don't know like me. I know its cute, but remember as soon as your baby can pull himself up, remove the bumper, it will save you a trip to the ER.

Starbucks Or Teavana. Is loose tea leaves the new lata ?

2009-08-12T17:37:00.002-04:00

For as long as I can remember I have always been a Starbucks fanatic, even before they joined McDonald's to conquer the world of franchise. It was unknowingly though that I stumbled across the next best thing.

Its called "Teavana" A high end gourmet tea cafe. The smell of the fresh tea leaves hypnotizes you right into the shop. And I must say the free samples didn't help me stray away from purchasing a cup. What I love about the shop is that each featured tea of the day, displayed its beneficial value. The tea samples are lightly sweetened. They can be ordered hot or iced, in a 16 ounce cup. For get trying to memorize different sizes in another language just ask for a 16ouncer and your set. And if you want to create your own mix, or purchase it to make in the comfort of your home you are welcomed to purchase their loose tea leave in a convenient decorative large size can. Great gift idea for a special occasion, birthday, or holiday. I've always loved tea, and now that I discovered this place, I am instantly hooked. So try it and give me your feed back on what you think....

Fevers may be caused by not just "infant teething", but "infant mouth sores" ?

2009-08-07T15:59:00.007-04:00

It started Tuesday night. My 8 month old son was turning 9 months the next day and I was so proud at how quickly he was developing into a healthy bouncing baby boy. I just thanked GOD for his great health. During that night I would have never expected he would develop a low grade fever. It was the summer months so I initially thought it was due to the weather and lowered the air conditioner five more degrees. But he seemed to get hotter. When I checked his temperature it was at exactly 101. 8 Degrees. A low grade for his age, but remember I was just stating how he never got sick. I gave him some Tylenol and his temp lowered to 100. 4 and it remained there for the next day with no luck of it going down. The same night I called the Dr. to make an appointment for the next day. He was miserable, lifeless, irritated and wouldn't eat. He kept pulling at is mouth so, I assumed since he had no other symptoms like diarrhea or vomiting that it must be his teeth, to put a mothers heart to ease till the doctor can confirm.

Te next day at the doctors, as usual it took forever before the nurse called us to the patient room. The Nurse did their usual checked his weight and vital signs. I was growing quite impatient. My energetic, full of life, bouncing baby boy, looked like a form of "happy baby kryptonite" got hold of him. Finally the Dr. entered the room. After checking and canceling out stomach virus, ear infection, and teething, she shined the light to the back of his throat and there lay the culprit. Over a dozen spots all over the roof of his mouth leading to his throat. What is it I asked ? How did he get it ? A thousand questions .... came spilling out of my mouth. Dr W gave me a look and said "Lets find out" she pulled out a large q-tip... (SWAB) and ran it across the top part of his mouth,. It was taken to the lab. I was now tremendously impatient. What seemed like years finally came to an end. Dr. W stated that my son had caught " viral mouth ulcers" a baby version of the cold sore, but they get it inside their mouth. She said it most likely was from a person with a cold. It would last about 7 to 10 days and to just give him some ibuprofen so the swelling will go down. How could such little spots bring my baby to such a crawl.. but it happens. A lot of moms aren't aware of this type of virus.. Just and FYI, next time your baby is feeling a little under the weather check the back of his throat he may need another kind of pain medication opposed to the one your giving them. Motrin worked great to bring the swelling down from the ulcers.

They say "follow me on twitter", but unfollow you. Ways to find out who unfollowed:

2009-07-16T11:53:00.007-04:00

Just about everyone is using the new social network micro blog called "Twitter", and I must say I myself have become hooked. Its simple send out information that will attract others that have the same interest as you. In turn they start following you to keep up with the information that you provide through this mini blog. So in essence your number of people following you should continue to grow.. Correct ? Well not technically, the twist is if for whatever reason you don't keep their attention they will suddenly stop following you and your number of followers then decreases. Trust me its happen to me and at first I had so many questions as to when they stopped ? , to what was the Tweet that turned them off ? . Unfortunately Twitter doesn't answer those questions, but I was able to discover a tool that does just that it is called "Qwitter", Qwitter allows you to see when someone "unfollowed" you and the last Tweet prior to them removing you from their friend list. Every time someone unfollows you, and email is generated to notify you how sweet is that. Don't get sad, remember that people are joining Twitter every day so ever unfollower is replaceable.

Parenting Help: How to deal with the toddler behavior, "Terrible Twos"

2009-07-14T19:40:00.009-04:00

As a new mother everything always seems like an exciting adventure for you and your little one. The little person that you bought into the world, you figure can never do wrong, so innocent and helpless. It is a natural instinct that you want to protect them and make sure they have. As they grow you become more enthused as they learn and discover new things. like drinking out of a straw, or reading their first words.

So imagine the shock when they hit the age of two years old and get totally out of control. A lot of parents are shocked to discover that terrible two's are actually a real thing. I myself was amazed when my precious little princess, completely learned how to ignore my instructions of not to jump on the sofa. We try to do our best to avoid, what everyone was telling us was soon approaching as our youngster edged closer to the mark of destruction. Wouldn't it be great if you can get some help to train you toddler to behave. Many parents are running around (literally) stressed out from constantly repeating them selves or pulling out their hair even, but FINALLY their is a product on the market that can help CLICK HERE!

Life is unpredictable, but it doesnt own your destiny !

2009-07-10T11:41:00.001-04:00

Life is what you make it and your destiny is within your hands. The best way to think about it is imagine a novel that lets you choose what happens in the next chapter, though you don’t know what the outcome can be, you still have the free will to decide what road is best. Common sense is what we consider everyone to have when it comes to making a life changing decision. Unfortunately this is not the case in most situations. The majority of us who naturally knows what is the right thing to do, can sometimes let influences come between our blessings and lead us down the wrong path. We have obstacles that get in our way and entice us in the wrong direction. Ex. “You have an important mandatory meeting at 6:30am the next morning, your friends call you up they have an extra ticket to your favorite show in the city and want you to go, the show ends at 1am. “ You know that you probably won’t make it home till about 3am at the latest, but you go anyway. So the next morning you make it to the meeting late, and miss and important part that directly involves you.

This is where reasoning and the free will to decide comes into play. When instead of leading Life we let Life lead us. The best rewards in life are when you can make a past decision that will benefit your future. Deciding that what happens today can give me a better tomorrow. There are people suffering right now because of the fact that they made what seemed like a minor wrong decision at some point that affected their life right now. Before jumping the gun to make a decision, think about how it may affect your future and sometimes the future the ones you love most. Remember your destiny is right at your finger tips… Take control of it.

Direct Selling the New "9 to 5"

2009-07-09T17:16:00.005-04:00

The economy seems to have created an environment where having a 9 to 5 doesn't secure your future and longer. Times like these have pushed people into supplementing their income with home based businesses or part time jobs. Majority of these home based business are what is called "direct selling" or most commonly know as "Network Marketing". I could almost feel the cringe from whoever is reading this blog, once those words were uttered, but you would be surprised how many people make a decent income that can sometimes provide for that necessity that seemed unreachable with their full time jobs income. I just the other day was watching "Good Morning America", and it was mentioned, that due to the high number of lost jobs a lot of people have flocked to direct sales methods, because of its quick cash availability.

For those of us who are afraid to check out alternatives to the 9 to 5. I am here to say don't be afraid to try some of the corporations that have been around for years. You have corporations like Avon, Mary Kay, and Quick Star just to name a few. If you do decide to go with a newer company just make sure you do your research and verify the company at BBB ( Better Business Bureau) on-line. Multiple streams of income should be a focus for everyone.. A guaranteed check from your full time job, can sometimes not be so guaranteed when they cut back on the budget and you're the first to be handed the pink slip. But becoming your own boss predicts your job may be around a little longer.

How Not to Plan....

2009-07-06T10:14:00.000-04:00

How we wish for those long weekends to come in so that we can fill them with fun filled activities with the family, and clean up that closet that we just can’t get to during our regular schedules because we are so damn busy. I was so elated to find out that I would have a three day weekend with Friday being off. I couldn’t wait to start my weekend. I had planned like I was off for a month and didn’t realize that the regular happenings of life had its way of crawling into my fun bubble and bursting it was the true reality. So though I was grateful for the extra day home with the family, I have to say that I had a rude awakening when the walk in the park with the kids didn’t happen, or getting some “Spa Time” for my daughter and I fell through the cracks. They say don’t fail to plan, or you plan to fail. But in a nutshell my advice is don’t get so wrapped up in planning that you forget to live life. Remember regardless if you PLAN for it or not “Life Happens”.. :o) Lesson for the weekend.

Change Your Destiny

2009-07-02T14:46:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you come to a point where you have to stop and ask your self is where I am where I really want to be right now. It seems like for the past four weeks I have been pondering on this question over and over again. But regardless how I switch up reasons of what bought me to where I am today; the reality is I haven’t yet began to live my life to the fullest. I haven’t yet began to see life for what it is or what it could be. I am living by the clock. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, no interruption, no surprises. We all have to sit back sometime and ask ourselves, “What is my true purpose here? “. I am trapped behind a desk for eight to nine hours in a day. Monday thru Friday putting out what is asked of me in an effort to maintain my sanity (or what is left of it), sad… My physical and spirit are not in sync. My spirit wants to motivate help and captivate ...My mother always said if you don’t like it fix it. One question holds me back thought where do I begin?

I am officially a "Twitter"

2009-06-19T16:15:00.000-04:00

Alright I know its been quite a while since I posted anything, I think the shock of the pregnancy is finally wearing off and I can say I am feeling almost like my old self again. Reentering the world of living life can sometime be a slow process. After hearing over and over again, about "twitting", "twitter", "a twit". I decided to give it a try and see if I can actually join the rest of the world it seams in the new found domain of "Social Networking". Don't get me wrong I have a "Myspace", and "Facebook" but the "Twitter" ( I am not completely from the stone ages) seemed a little more scarey all it is is updates of status, news, events, anything and everything going on in your world. After playing around with it for two days now I must say, I find it a bit appealing and almost like a necessity to have. Great way to meet new friends, discuss current events, promote your business, also keep a to do list. I recommend everyone give it a try. It doesn't hurt to create and account, if it doesn't quite make your list of great tools for todays society delete your account. Check it out let me know how it does for you.

I hate being pregnant

2008-05-16T11:32:00.000-04:00

Yes I said it.. "I absolutely hate it". I hear women who enjoy every second of it. To me it is pure torture what women have to go through. I am completely miserable, I feel fatigued and bored with my self twenty four seven. It seems like it will never end. Makes me jealous that I am not a bear... (smile) I don't have the ability to hybernate cause if I could I would. I just want it to stop all the symptoms, so I can go on with my days and feel happy to be alive again. I know some of you are disgusted with my comment but at this point I just don't care what anyone thinks... I know it will be worth it in the end but the process is a bitch. And to think I have like almost six months to go. How will I ever survive even another second....

My Wish for a Better Tomorrow

2008-05-13T00:06:00.000-04:00

Many people hope for the end of war, peace on earth, or even lower gas prices. Me I hope for something more amusing, the day that a man can experience pregnancy.. I think this will truly claim equality. Till then women are the more intelligent evolved gender. Damn we could out number them and reproduce alone if we wanted. The thought gives me smiles.

Can the heart have premonitions of a future life?

2008-02-28T13:38:00.001-05:00

How unexpected circumstantial moments of our life can mark the changing point. Seeing everything clearly for the first instance. Its shocking to discover that the difference between communicating and connection are far from similarity. To suddenly discover a mind with familiar thoughts can be orgasmic, like experiencing a the spiritual birth. The unleashing of your soul. This is just my interpretation of soul mates. A bond born before conception of the individuals destined to interlock spirits.

Keeping the Ugly Out

2008-02-25T11:13:00.001-05:00

It seems this past week has taken me captive. But its only life doing what it does best. A romantic get a way with the hubby. A snow storm. An ice storm. A weekend with friends. All cushioned between my regular activies. Enjoy life my father says to me as if it is a secret. Live each day as if your last, don't sweat the small stuff. Easier said then done, I realized during my weekend trip to the big apple.

A three day trip to the city that never sleeps, planned to celebrate my sisiters thirty somthing birthday. We had it all laid out quarters in the Marriot Marquis, shopping in SoHo, a play on broadway, with dinner in timesquare to end the night. Glitz without the drama we believed would be our reality. Though our plans went as scheduled it was the transition to each that made our stomach flip over and over and over. It seemed the four of us would accomplish revealing the ugly version all humans keep hidden till the secret button underneth our sensitvie spot is pushed. New Yorkers can be so harsh.. I whispered underneath my breath, and smiled away, refusing to let their ugly in.

Mental Reality: Northern Illinois University: Massacre 101

2008-02-17T03:06:00.000-05:00

Mental Reality: Northern Illinois University: Massacre 101

Northern Illinois University: Massacre 101

2008-02-17T02:23:00.000-05:00

Another tragedy occurs on the life of America's future. I find it amazing that the new popularity contest ends with multiple deaths and a suicide....

My mouth dropped open as I watched in horror what seemed like a rerun of the massacre that took place not even a year ago at Virginia Tech. I remember the days when something like this surround the characters of followers of a cult leader. It was becoming too familiar a scene on TV I realized. Like more of a episode of a bad reality show. I couldn't imagine what would make an upcoming model student want to kill. Was it caused by some form of mental dysfunction, or a cry for society to pay closer attention to its upcoming leaders of the next generation. Is this a sign ?

Comments from people that new the shooter, raved about his contribution to the community, good student and role as a leader. Behavioral habits wouldn't serve as a clue to identify this young mans troubles. Nonetheless, not knowing what sparked this action may be America's next biggest killer.

Massacre 101 is in need of cure, I must believe that prayer as a nation is our only hope.

What ever happened to flowers for your Valentine ?

2008-02-14T22:58:00.000-05:00

I was completely uninterested in participating in the festivities of Valentines Day. The loving holiday that use to characterize cupid as the hero that marked you for love, has become a candidate for economic gain. It amazes me how the simplicities of a holiday no longer exist, the true meaning for certain celebrations no longer interest people. We as a society have become so materialistic that going into debt is more of a trend. I miss the days when a flower, card and candy would seal the deal. As I sit back and look out my window at the hundreds of people exploring this night of love I wonder how many feel as I do.

5 tips to save money without interrupting your shopping.

2008-02-12T21:55:00.000-05:00

I know we have heard it many times, about saving money for a rainy day. Unfortunately society doesn't allow for that. I don't remember last time I walked around with enough cash in my pocket to avoid using that shiny plastic card linked to my bank account. Everything these days seem to be credit card equiped. I have to say that is when I truely knew that I had to reanalyze my spending habits when I ran into a soda machines that accepted credit cards. I've listed below a few things I did to save a few extra dollars;

NO MORE STARBUCKS: Cut back on my daily addiction to the infamous Green Tea frapp which I swore I couldn't live without. Now I make my own ! It taste better too

PAY MY SELF FIRST: Increasing my 401k budget by 1% every time I received a raise. Did you know that the more money you add the more money your company will give you.

SHOP DISCOUNT STORES: Shopping at discount stores like Marshalls, and ROSS. They have the same stuff for way less. And you can almost always find brand name items for as much as 70% off. If you don't like to go out to shop, check out stores like Overstock.com or Amazon. Remember the one mans trash is another mans treasure.

WHEN IN DOUBT BROWN BAG IT: When I started doing this I became incredibly shocked to find out the amount of money I was throwing away on a daily basis. I approximated almost $200.00 per month. Trust me you will definately see a difference in this area of your budget.

JOIN A DISCOUNT CLUB: Discount clubs like BJ's and COSCO are so budget friendly. You can save so much if you purchase household items such as toilet paper, toothpaste, deoderant and detergent. Just to name a few. They last a long time. I can't remember last time I had to purchase these items.

These are just a few things that you can change that won't be too difficult. In the long run it will be worth having the extra cash.

Barack Obama Wins Virginia!

2008-02-12T21:19:00.001-05:00

CNN has just projected that Barack Obama has won Virginia.

read more digg story

Stillborn baby dumped in plastic bag with mum's belongings

2008-02-12T17:49:00.001-05:00

"Tanya Shelby endured every woman's worst nightmare when she lost her baby during pregnancy. But the Ballarat mother went through a living hell when she found the remains of her stillborn boy dumped in a plastic belongings bag in her hospital room. Now the family is considering legal action against Ballarat Base Hospital..."

read more digg story

Were you denied Social Credit ?

2008-02-12T09:47:00.000-05:00

Education a four -syllable word in text, but to some a realm not encoutered. The mind embellished in its own container has the capacity to hold the equivalence to galaxy. A canvas blank, dehydrated in need of paint to encompass its existence. Society measures the length of your survival by your academic distance, even when the stride is maximized by determination. If not carefully held in reserve, they excavate the time capsule in which your goals where achieved in a means to evaluate your victory, and find you in inapt to your claims of success. But wouldn’t you rather be cross-examined then overlooked and considered insignificant? A need to stop classification of individuals based on the bill paid for their schooling, vehicle, clothing and other materialistic junk needs to be implemented within our society. The practice of categorizing and placing each person into the appropriate social class is consistent with segregation. When will it all stop ?

All this time, she was hiding in the Garden !

2008-02-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

My thoughts started eating away at me like a parasite, I had no more room to harbor the emotional ghost that I've carried with me for more than six years. The exterior of my being was of a young black twenty - four year old female, but it was only a disguise of my true pains, like a prosthetic worn to hide a deformity.

As spring surrounded me everywhere, I too wanted to acquire the ability to bloom a new. It was time; I no longer wanted to feel my strength of mind wither into non-existence. I contemplated with my thoughts like a tug of war, trying to come to terms on how. How do I start this journey that I’ve been afraid to take alone for the last three years? Reveling my true identity to my self, facing the mirror and staring at the inside. Maybe I wasn’t the only one with this defect of not knowing how to let things go and move on as they came and left my life. It was like the infamous saying, “forgive, and forget”. If you forgive do you ever really forget, and vice versa. If this is part of your experience in life, that is meant to be used as a protective shield so there will not be a second occurrence are you truly suppose to forget? Questions gone unanswered can drive a person crazy, which is not the choice category I wanted to be labeled. So slowly I dissected my thoughts. Choice word being dissected, because peeling the outer shell, exposed me to a new pain that I wasn’t aware I could feel. Learning to feel was the hardest part of the transition. I was becoming raw to all my inner emotions that were locked away for so long. In essence I didn’t like who I was, or who I was becoming. I needed justification of my self worth. Love, acceptance, sex, the need of feeling wanted emotionally, mentally, and physically, this emotional equation usually leads down the wrong path if not controlled. It happens to the best of us, and as I can only speak for myself, and from my experiences it caused me to lose focus on the foundation of my life. The answer to this equation is initially simple, “learn to love yourself”, and the priceless riches of life will follow. Easier said then done. Especially coming from someone who didn’t familiarize with the luxury till her early twenties, when in general conversation a friend made a comment “ You need to learn to love yourself.” I was taken aback; there was no self-history of that emotion before that moment in my life. After I came to terms that I didn’t know how express love for “me”, I was quite astonished at my own ignorance. No I wasn’t immune to it, just didn’t know it could exist. What a huge breakthrough I thought, but soon to discover that this was just a scratch on the surface. How do you learn to love someone you didn’t know existed as an individual?

Here I was a mother, and a wife, and I didn’t know how to love myself. I had to reassure my self that I was capable of the act of loving. I love my child, and I love my husband, but I didn’t love myself. Something was very wrong. Did I love or was I just committing myself to the situation at hand, adjusting to what my life had become ultimately. I was lost in a chaotic whirlwind of emotional confusion, and it hurt. It hurt because the truth was evident I was just playing a role. I didn’t know why I was, where I was in my life. It is as if I had sudden amnesia I didn’t know how I got here. I wanted out but I knew that was impossible, that would just add to the invisible list of disappointments I had created for myself. The emotional equation submerged again, but this time I decided to analyze it. I wanted to know where I went wrong. Not knowing love, but wanting to be accepted by whoever would accept, and confusing sex with being loved, or being in love. It was all a disillusion, I felt empty, and my heart ached. How did my thoughts become so disorganized? Was these thoughts implemented by family, society or by my choice of friends? It was evident I was trying to blame everyone but myself. I had to many faults to hide, and too little accomplishments to discuss. I had to revisit my past learn to deal with my pains, let go and move on, great plan I thought. Afraid to be alone, stopped me from being able to move forth in my life. Faking happiness was becoming harder, and harder. I was deceiving not just myself; my daughter was now part of the lie. Most people a wait the moment that they can claim their independence as they’re own. To be classified as the “single mother”, caused me to shake in my own skin. What was my self worth, what did I have to show for my time on earth. Was I a waste of breath, one of God’s experiments gone bad. My life resume; A child born out of wedlock, lack of education, a marriage built on lust, and mounds of bills. And don’t get me wrong I loved my daughter, she was my greatest accomplishment if not the only great accomplishment, and one of the priceless riches of life, other then that…I was a lifeless garden, with the ability to blossom, but where was the water, sunlight, or nurturing. It was central love of ones self. To grow one needs to allow the soul to weep…and so I weep in hopes my inner spring will bloom.