tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41691072324239000442024-11-01T02:01:15.541-07:00--::Funny :: Jokes :: SMS :: Messages :: Phrases :: short jokes::--Mohsina Vorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10821086952638188329noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4169107232423900044.post-4214492780028320862011-01-30T03:08:00.001-08:002011-01-30T03:08:35.201-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br /> Boss: Where were you born?<br /> <br /> Sardar: India ..<br /> <br /> Boss: which part?<br /> <br /> Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.<br /> <br /> Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb<br /> <br /> explodes while fixing.<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar: What is the name of your car?<br /> <br /> Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.<br /> <br /> Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.<br /> <br /> Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!<br /> <br /> Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar: U cheated me.<br /> <br /> Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.<br /> <br /> Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:<br /> <br /> In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?<br /> <br /> Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....<br /> <br /> Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.<br /> <br /> Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...<br /> <br /> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?<br /> <br /> Sardar: An old king's skeleton.<br /> <br /> Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?<br /> <br /> Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?<br /> <br /> FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.<br /> <br /> SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Santa went to temple &amp; saw people puting coin in box &amp; praying<br /> <br /> Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Waiter gives bill to Sardar<br /> <br /> Sardar: "Take my card."<br /> <br /> Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.<br /> <br /> Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,<br /> <br /> Dost: Garam pani Q?<br /> <br /> Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.<br /> <br /> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..<br /> <br /> "My father grows beans," said one student.<br /> <br /> "My father cooks beans," said another.<br /> <br /> Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:<br /> <br /> Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?<br /> <br /> Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Two Sardar stopped suddenly.<br /> <br /> 1st Sardar: OMG! My wife and my girlfriend coming together.<br /> <br /> 2nd Sardar: Mine too.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> A sardar goes to a restaurant<br /> <br /> and his cell phone rings.<br /> <br /> Wife: How are you?<br /> <br /> <br /> Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but<br /> <br /> how did you know where I was?<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> How do you recognize a Sardar in School?<br /> <br /> He is the one who erases the notes from<br /> <br /> the book when the teacher erases the board.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardarji to others:<br /> <br /> Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?<br /> <br /> One said, Yes I did<br /> <br /> Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,<br /> <br /> I found the rubberband!<br /> <br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant<br /> <br /> and puts his finger<br /> <br /> on the last of menu: Bring this.<br /> <br /> <br /> Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it<br /> <br /> because he is the owner of restaurant.<br /> <br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> A small 2 seater plane was crashed in graveyard.<br /> <br /> A Sardar was investigation officer.<br /> <br /> In report he said:<br /> <br /> 500 dead bodies are found<br /> <br /> and digging for rest.<br /> <br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar at an Art Gallery:<br /> <br /> I suppose this horrible looking thing is<br /> <br /> what you call modern art ?<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Interviewer: Where were you born?<br /> <br /> Sardar: Punjab.<br /> <br /> Interviewer: Which part?<br /> <br /> Sardar: What which part, whole body was born in Punjab. “;-)<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar’s wish : when i die,<br /> <br /> I wanna die like my grandpa<br /> <br /> who died peacefully in his sleep<br /> <br /> not screaming<br /> <br /> like all the passengers in the<br /> <br /> car he was driving..<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar and Pathan going somewhere together.<br /> <br /> They found 1000 Rs. on the way.<br /> <br /> Pathan: Let’s take 50/50.<br /> <br /> Sardar: What will do of remaining 900?<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.<br /> <br /> Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.<br /> <br /> Angry Sardar:<br /> <br /> “Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.<br /> <br /> Judge asked: How will you divide?<br /> <br /> You have 3 children.<br /> <br /> Sardar replied: OK! We will apply next year.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH<br /> <br /> after BLOOD TEST.<br /> <br /> THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .<br /> <br /> NURSE:y r u DANCING.<br /> <br /> SARDAR:next is URINE TEST<br /> <br /> Waiter gives bill to Sardar<br /> <br /> Sardar: Take my card.<br /> <br /> Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card.<br /> <br /> Sardar: So what?<br /> <br /> You have written outside<br /> <br /> “ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar told his servant:<br /> <br /> Go and water the plants. Servant<br /> <br /> it’s already raining. Sardar: So what?<br /> <br /> Take an umbrella and go.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Judge: Why are you arrested?<br /> <br /> Sardar: For shopping early?<br /> <br /> Judge: Well, thats not a crime, anyway how early you were shopping?<br /> <br /> Sardar: before opening the shop…,<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.<br /> <br /> Two seconds later a report came<br /> <br /> to his phone and he started dancing.<br /> <br /> The report said, “DELIVERED”.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Interviewer: Congrats, you are selected.<br /> <br /> Your 1st month salary is Rs: 6000.<br /> <br /> Next month salary will be 10000.<br /> <br /> Sardar: Ok sir, I’ll Join next month.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar proposed a girl……<br /> <br /> Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….<br /> <br /> Sardar said Oye no problem<br /> <br /> soniye I’ll marry u next year.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.<br /> <br /> She is having pain right now.<br /> <br /> Doctor: Is this her first child?<br /> <br /> Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.<br /> <br /> Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.<br /> <br /> sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> How do you sink a submarine<br /> <br /> filled with sardars..?<br /> <br /> .<br /> <br /> .<br /> <br /> .<br /> <br /> .<br /> <br /> Just knock the door.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Astrologer: you must married only 32 years old women to start a happy life.<br /> <br /> sardar: shall I married two 16 years old girls<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,<br /> <br /> “Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”<br /> <br /> Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> As train start running,<br /> <br /> a sardar got the train.<br /> <br /> TT: Don’t you see it’s female bogie?<br /> <br /> Sardar: Sorry, I thought you were a man.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.<br /> <br /> Do you want to see any one before you die?<br /> <br /> Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar: Will you marry me?<br /> <br /> Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.<br /> <br /> Sardar: What’s a lesbian?<br /> <br /> Girl: I like to sleep with girls.<br /> <br /> Sardar: Give me a hand… I am also lesbian<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar was busy removing<br /> <br /> a wheel from his auto.<br /> <br /> A man asks sardar why are<br /> <br /> you removing a wheel from your auto.<br /> <br /> sardar : Cant you read the board.<br /> <br /> Parking is only for 2 wheeler<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar had twins. He named Tara &amp; Sitara.<br /> <br /> Again twins, He named Peter &amp; Repeater.<br /> <br /> Again twins, He named Max &amp; Climax.<br /> <br /> Again twins, finally He named STOP &amp; FULLSTOp:-)<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.<br /> <br /> Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”<br /> <br /> Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Teacher: “I killed a person”<br /> <br /> convert this sentence into future tense<br /> <br /> Sardar: The future tense is “You will go to jail”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar comes back to his car<br /> <br /> &amp;<br /> <br /> find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’<br /> <br /> He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole<br /> <br /> ‘Thanks for compliment.’<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,<br /> <br /> except the TV in my house.’<br /> <br /> Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’<br /> <br /> Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar got into a bus on 1st April<br /> <br /> when conductor asked for ticket.<br /> <br /> He gave Rs.10/-<br /> <br /> and took the ticket and said april fool.<br /> <br /> I have pass.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.<br /> <br /> Friend: Really, what is he studying.<br /> <br /> Sardar: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar bought a new mobile.<br /> <br /> He sent a message to everyone<br /> <br /> from his Phone Book &amp; said,<br /> <br /> My Mobile No. Has changed.<br /> <br /> Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> A sardarji photographer is focusing<br /> <br /> a dead body’s face in a funeral function,<br /> <br /> suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.<br /> <br /> why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar was giving his medical entrance exam<br /> <br /> He gave definitions as follows:<br /> <br /> Antibody:<br /> <br /> Against everybody<br /> <br /> Artery:<br /> <br /> Study of fine art paintings<br /> <br /> Cardiology:<br /> <br /> Advanced study of playing cards<br /> <br /> CT scan:<br /> <br /> Scanning 4 lost whistle..<br /> <br /> Coma:<br /> <br /> Punctuation mark<br /> <br /> Bacteria:<br /> <br /> Back door to a cafeteria…<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:<br /> <br /> “Me sick, no work”<br /> <br /> Boss SMS back:<br /> <br /> “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”<br /> <br /> 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:<br /> <br /> “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> A sardar goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.<br /> <br /> Do you have color TVs?<br /> <br /> Sure.<br /> <br /> Give me a green one, please.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy<br /> <br /> Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born<br /> <br /> I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Teacher: What is tha difference between orange &amp; apple?<br /> <br /> Sardar: The color of orange is orange but the color of apple is not apple.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> A bird was disturbing to a Sardar.<br /> <br /> Finally Sardar caught it and decided to kill it cruelly,<br /> <br /> He took it to the top of a building and dropped it<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Boss asked Sardar<br /> <br /> to buy two corner tickets for a movie<br /> <br /> to watch with his Girlfriend.<br /> <br /> Sardar bought two corner tickets:<br /> <br /> A1…………….A25<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> A sardar ji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.<br /> <br /> He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-<br /> <br /> I Love You sister….<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar was writing something very slowly.<br /> <br /> Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?<br /> <br /> Sardar: Im writing to my 6 years old son,<br /> <br /> he cant read very fast.<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Teacher: How Do You Differentiate<br /> <br /> “WIFE” &amp; “MOTHER”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> SARDAR:<br /> <br /> Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”<br /> <br /> &amp;<br /> <br /> After Marriage<br /> <br /> We Sleep With Our “WIFE<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar As A Director:<br /> <br /> You Have To Jump In The Swimming Pool From 100.ft Height.<br /> <br /> Hero: I Don’t Know Swimming<br /> <br /> Sardar: Oye Don’t Worry Yaar! Pool Is Empty;-)<br /> <br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Teacher told all students<br /> <br /> in a class to write an essay<br /> <br /> on a cricket match.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> All were busy writing except one Sardarji.<br /> <br /> He wrote No match, due to rain!!!<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar: ‘Doctor, my son swallowed a key.’<br /> <br /> Doctor: When?<br /> <br /> Sardar: 3 months ago.<br /> <br /> Doctor: What were u doing till now?<br /> <br /> Sardar: We were using duplicate key.<br /> <br /> Doctor: So why have u come today?<br /> <br /> Sardar: We ve lost the duplicate key !!!<br /> <br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?<br /> <br /> Sardar: BA<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Professor:For sodium?<br /> <br /> Sardar: NA<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA<br /> <br /> &amp; 2 atoms of NA combined?<br /> <br /> Sardar: BANANA<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Sardar in airoplane going to Bombay.<br /> <br /> While its landing he shouted:<br /> <br /> “Bombay ….Bombay”<br /> <br /> Airhostess said: “B silent.”<br /> <br /> Sardar: “Ok… Ombay… Ombay”<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower<br /> <br /> &amp; red light glowing on the top,<br /> <br /> seeing this he said India is developing fast,<br /> <br /> see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> <br /> Teacher: What happen on 1869?<br /> <br /> Sardar: I don’t know.<br /> <br /> Teacher: Stupid its birthday of Gandhi G.<br /> <br /> Now tell me what happen on 1873?<br /> <br /> Sardar: Its 4th birthday of Gandhi G:-)<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> In bio practical:<br /> <br /> Examiner:Tell me the name of<br /> <br /> this bird by seeing it’s legs only?<br /> <br /> Sardar:I don’t know.<br /> <br /> Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?<br /> <br /> Sardar:See my legs &amp; tell my name<br /> <br /> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> <br /> Sardar after interview<br /> <br /> everything went fine till the time<br /> <br /> he asked me for testimonials.<br /> <br /> I guess i showed him the wrong thing !!!<br /> <br /> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </div>Mohsina Vorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10821086952638188329noreply@blogger.com0