To The Manner Born

Chuck Lorre Vanity Cards vol. 5

2012-01-27T00:01:00.000-06:00

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #373

Kahlil Gibran

(1st draft)

A young woman stepped forward from the throng and asked, "0' great prophet, tell us how we might find love that is unconditional, unwavering and unending." The prophet did not answer right away. He looked off into the distance, gathering his thoughts. Silence descended upon the crowd. Then he turned his gaze upon the young woman and said, "Get a dog."

It's been a while since we last checked up on Chuck Lorre's Vanity Cards. Chuck is the creator/producer of such television hits as Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. At the end of each show hidden amongst the credits are his Vanity Cards, usually a paragraph or two rambling about what's on his mind. He has plenty to say.

Some of the cards may be lost on the young, but if you are of a certain age, you likely agree with many of his thoughts. We left off in high 290's last time. You may catch up here.

Toad

Where can I find?

2012-01-26T13:31:00.004-06:00

Once again I come hat in hand, asking my favorite, most informed friends where to find that which I cannot. I'm looking for shirt weight 100% cotton, white Oxford cloth fabric.

Since winter appears willing to give us a miss this year, I'm diving straight into summer. Last fall, I announced my intention to have tailored a white cotton oxford suit. I've the alchemist on board, now I need the fabric, probably not more than 6 yards.

Where please should I shop?

Toad

robbie burns day

2012-01-25T00:00:00.002-06:00

American's hardly know and little care that today is Robert Burns Day (or Night), the 250th anniversary of the birth of the Scottish poet and lyricist, the Bob Marley of his time, Robert Burns. We canna do the accent, and so long as 95% make up the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne, and Scots distillers remain in operation we are mostly OK giving Rabbie a miss. But we should know a bit about the Bard, if only to be neighborly.

Rabbie took to writing verse, when he found it was a good way to chat up birds, at which he became quite successful. His first book of verse was sold to raise funds to hightail it to Jamaica with his girlfriend, Mary Campbell, in order to escape his mother's servant, the mother of his first daughter Elizabeth and Miss Jean Armour who was pregnant with his twins.

That the book sold well was a blessing and a curse in that it convinced him he had another talent, one that paid, so he cancelled the move to Jamaica, dumped Mary and married Jean. Prolifigate Robbie had at least 13 known children, 5 out of wedlock, 3 named Elizabeth.

Written for his first born Elizabeth was A Poet's Welcome to his Love Begotten Daughter

or as Burns called it "Welcome to a Bastart Wean"

So raise a glass tonight to Mr. Burns, he deserves to be remembered, for his poetry, his storytelling, his love of Scotland and his love of fine lasses. May they each live forever.

To Bobby

Laird Toad

From the Tangential Thinker

2012-01-24T00:00:00.001-06:00

Every now and them I am blindsided by my perhaps willful ignorance. Years of expensive private education hasn't saved my from myself yet occasionally I find brilliance in the oddest places.

Our neighborhood newspaper The Ladue News, has a weekly feature The Tangential Thinker, written by Debbie Baldwin. Her column reads like a blog entry. You rarely know what's coming, but it's always entertaining, occasionally thought provoking, and generally pretty funny. Debbie also writes the movie reviews.

I saw myself in her eyes this week, and it caught me short. I thought I'd share.

from The Tangential Thinker

by Debbie Baldwin

Ladue News, January 20, 2012

I've got a Bad Feeling about This

For years, I have been at odds with my mother. I have always maintained that if you, say, inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings, you ought to feel badly about it. My mother thinks it’s feel bad. She elaborates that if you feel badly, you have a poor sense of touch. I argue that feel is a verb regardless. So it goes. Back and forth. And everybody I ask not only has a different answer, but a different explanation for that answer.

So I had to end it. It was time to bring the mountain to Mohammad: I emailed Richard Lederer, one of our country’s foremost grammarians, as well as the author of dozens of books on the subject, including the hilarious Anguished English. He also was my husband’s English teacher at St. Paul’s School. Here is what he had to say:

The adjective BAD, meaning “unpleasant, unattractive, unfavorable, spoiled, etc.,” is the usual form following such linking verbs as look, smell, sound, and taste: After the rainstorm, the water tasted bad. The contents of the refrigerator smell bad. After the linking verb feel, BAD is the most common adjective, although feel badly is frequently seen and heard, especially with the meaning of “I regret:” I feel badly that I let you down. Although this represents an admirable attempt to differentiate physical ill being (I feel bad) from emotional ill being (I feel badly), much in the manner of I feel good vs. I feel well, feel badly has been criticized for more than a century. Ask the offended why they object, and their voices will slip into the tonal groove that the century-old explanation has worn for itself: “If you feel badly, your finger tips must be numbed, or you’re wearing thick gloves.” Har har—but for a great number of people this disapproval is very real. You might attempt to explain to the finger waggers that the ‘badly’ in ‘feel badly’ is not an adverb but an adjective, in the manner of costly, elderly, friendly, kindly, sickly, and more than a hundred other adjectives that wag–‘ly’ tails, and they will still feel strongly (ahem!) that feel badly is somehow wrongheaded. That’s in part because BADLY is not a fully integrated adjective: If you are sickly, you are a sickly person, but if you feel badly, you are not a badly person. At this juncture in the winding way our language travels, you will communicate more effectively if you feel bad, rather than badly.

So there you have it. My mother was right, but not for the reason she thought she was right. So ha, take that. I was wrong—but I don’t feel bad about it.

Debbie Baldwin

Remember the old joke, I should have listened to my mother!

What did she say?

I don't know I wasn't listening.

I too should have listened.

Toad

Dear Hallmark Channel- a rant

2012-01-22T23:00:00.001-06:00

Dear Hallmark Channel:

I've a bone to pick with you. This past weekend you aired all twelve hours of the Jane Oke's inspired miseries (read mini-series) Love Comes Softly. For reasons unknownable to male people, this series ticked a lot of boxes for your female viewers and its coming was highly anticipated by members of my household, including me who looks forward to 12 hours of peace spread over the next few days.

So, how much harder would it have been to air the 6 movies in sequential order instead of mimicking the piston firing order of an old 6 cylinder Buick? My bride programmed her TIVO to record the movies (no, she hadn't read the books) and as she had time, got comfortable expecting to watch them one after another. Ten minutes into the second movie she asked me, "who are these people, and how did they get there?" Loving husband that I am, I Googled the series, provided my bride the titles, in the order they should be seen and defended myself, mostly unsuccessfully, against Hallmark's programming wizards. Why should I have to?

Toad

In praise of a bow tie wearing fat man

2012-01-21T12:54:00.001-06:00

I don't like gourmet cooking or "this" cooking or "that" cooking. I like good cooking. -- James Beard (1903-1985).

Do you remember when the notion of a celebrity chef was as preposterous as a celebrity bus driver? Chefs were hidden in the back of restaurants, away from the prying eyes. Who knew or cared who was preparing their food when they ventured out?

One of the men responsible for creating the celebrity chef was James Beard, the anniversary of whose death we honor today. Beard is remembered for his 22 cookbooks each of which successfully transmitted Beard's love and passion for food. Beard was a great chef, one of the earliest television chefs but more importantly he lived the life he preached.

So how did he create the era of the celebrity chef? The James Beard Foundation created by Julia Childs after Beard died offers scholarships and grants to aspiring chefs. The James Beard Foundation Awards are the annual Academy Awards for top chefs and culinary professionals. To win a Beard Foundation Award is to mark the winner, by his peers as one of the best in the industry.

Have a great weekend, we are off the a Bobby Burns dinner and...

Toad

Then and now

2012-01-20T00:00:00.002-06:00

While not actually shopping for one as much as hoping to find one at a garage sale, but at least on my wish list of somedays, is an Eames Aluminum side chair, like the one shown above. I'm beginning to appreciate mid 20th century furniture and something about this chair calls to me, much like the list of cars I have in my fantasy garage. Cars I'd like to look at everyday, but don't want to own.

Wanting to know more about the Eames' chairs, I visited the library where I picked out The World of Charles and Ray Eames, a legacy of invention, published by Abrams. The book was a visual treat but not terribly useful until I came to a section devoted to how Eames' chairs were used in advertising.

The first ad, from Hughes Products, ran in US News and World Report in 1956. "How soon can you enjoy wall television?" How long did it take? 45 years?

Television was so new in 1956 it's a wonder the ad agency could imagine wall televisions. What they couldn't envision was a larger screen. The lounge chair worked in pre-remote days because the channel never changed during the evening. Sunday night-CBS, Monday night-ABC....

I was curious to find what else Hughes Products had in store for us in 1956 so I tap danced through Google. Next was "How far away is the pocket TV camera?" We had an RCA VCR/Camcorder in the mid 1980's which was only slightly smaller than the Hughes 1956 version.

I'm uncertain how useful such a gadget would be for the home market, but I'll give them a passing grade for this.

Finally, "How soon will you be able to see over the phone?" Note the rotary dial, a speakerphone would have been nice touch. A solution searching for a problem if ever there was one. AT&T executives used a product called "Picturephone" internally beginning in the late 50's. It worked poorly, but wasn't officially scrapped until the late 1980's.

The answer to all these pressing questions according to Hughes Products was just as soon as we invent the parts, while I keep searching for a chair.

Toad

Poe Day, Pooh Day, and Pooh Bear

2012-01-19T00:00:00.014-06:00

Are you familiar with the poetry of Edgar Allen Poe? On this his birthday I present his most autobiographical poem, Alone.

"Alone"

From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were--I have not seen

As others saw--I could not bring

My passions from a common spring--

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow--I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone--

And all I lov'd--I lov'd alone--

Then--in my childhood--in the dawn

Of a most stormy life--was drawn

From ev'ry depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still--

From the torrent, or the fountain--

From the red cliff of the mountain--

From the sun that 'round me roll'd

In its autumn tint of gold--

From the lightning in the sky

As it pass'd me flying by--

From the thunder, and the storm--

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view--

-Edgar Allen Poe

II. As long as I'm mixing my metaphors, I'm a day late honoring the birth of AA Milne, creator of Edward Bear-Winnie the Pooh to you. Yesterday would have been his 130th.

Christopher Milne and Edward

III. Still mixing metaphors, and 3 days late I failed to honor my constant companion and sweetheart, our oldest Shih Tsu, Pooh Bear. A year ago Monday she came to live with us.

As companions go, I could do much worse than have a Pooh Bear.

Toad

Lost career opportunity

2012-01-18T00:00:00.007-06:00

If you were young when television was in its infancy, you can't help but to be amazed by how much the world has changed. Some of us may recall organ grinders, or twice a day mail delivery. Others, including me can remember deliveries by horse and wagon. How many recall the many products sold door to door? Avon calling!

Not wishing to make fun of the dead, I love the skill and grace of the Telegraph's obituary page. While reading the Telegraph Obituary of Lindsay Masters, I nearly fell out of my chair.

Lindsay Masters

Telegraph photo

The first sentence tells a remarkable story of a time long gone;

Lindsay Masters, who has died aged 79, was a one-time door-to-door lederhosen salesman who transformed Haymarket, the publishing company that made Michael (now Lord) Heseltine’s fortune.

I can perfectly imagine how a career in lederhosen sales came to be. What I cannot I imagine is how incredibly difficult each sale must have been. Shelley,were leather shorts popular in post war Britain?

Toad

Beatles Ties

2012-01-17T00:00:00.004-06:00

I began wearing bow ties exclusively some ten years ago in response to a disagreement with Mrs. T over neck ties. We tend to disapprove of each others choices. For fear that she would continue buying ties which I would return the next day, I switched.

Last summer I wore a long ties twice and liked it. I liked it so much so that I've dug out some of my old favorites, just to see if I could still handle the knots. Like dad's in the '50's I've even begun wearing a tie around the house periodically, mostly to see the reaction. Today, I wore this one.

"What the hell is that?" I heard. "It's a Beatles tie", I replied, "dates from the early '90's when the Beatles needed money to pay their lawyers." The Beatles lawyers always made more money than the band did.

Sometimes we play a game called "perilous doubting". I'll say something true which sounds outlandish, to which Mrs. T will take exception. The dialog goes like this: The Beatles never sold ties, did so, did not.... and ends with I'll betcha, make it big, and huge sums of monopoly money are wagered, which when I win, I use to wager against Kansas University basketball games with my son.

The label was my proof this morning, an easier bet I've never won. My tie is Eleanor Rigby, copyright 1991.

There was a large collection once upon a time, each one uglier than the next. Still I like mine, but I've never seen another being worn.

As improbable as it may seem, Muhammad Ali turns 70 today. Wherever has the time gone?

Toad

He had a dream

2012-01-16T00:02:00.001-06:00

All I'm saying is simply this, that all life is interrelated, that somehow we're caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. For some strange reason, I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.

—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Mrs. T's anniversary

2012-01-15T00:00:00.004-06:00

My blogger profile describes me as the happiest married man ever. It's true. More so everyday. I'm blessed beyond imagining. My greatest blessing is my bride, and today is her wedding anniversary.

She is not my best friend, she is not my soul mate, she doesn't complete me. She makes us "we" and together we are indomitable. I love her madly.

Each year on this date she asks if I'd reup for another year. I'm now up to 2678 AD with no end in sight.

My adored, I love you mostest. Thank you for a wonderful life.

Roald Dahl Stamps

2012-01-14T00:00:00.003-06:00

To honor the Roald Dahl fans and stamp collectors amongst us, the British Post office has just released a set of Roald Dahl postage stamps illustrated with Quentin Blake's illustrations of 6 of Dahl's best selling children stories.

According to the wonderful folks at the Roald Dahl Museum, with whom I've corresponded, the museum web store should soon have the stamps available for sale to those of us across the seas, without access to the BPO, or a ready supply of GB Pounds on hand (they'll take plastic).

Also it's that time of the year when we wish another Great Brit, Lou Archer of The Archers at the Larches our annual happy birthday greetings, although somehow she never ages. Happy Birthday Lou!!!!

Toad

Separated at Birth?

2012-01-13T00:29:00.000-06:00

Jean Grimbert 2011

at Arny's Paris

photo by the Sartorialist

Lord De Grey

Vanity Fair 1890

artist: Leslie Ward (spy)

Two dashing gentlemen.

Toad

What a difference a day makes

2012-01-12T10:16:00.001-06:00

My garden issue is solved for now.

Toad

My Christmas kicks have arrived

2012-01-12T00:00:00.010-06:00

Have I mentioned my bride despises my Albert slippers? She finds them effeminate, and nothing I can or do say is likely to change her mind. Over time she has become less vocal about it, unless or until another pair arrives. My Christmas present to myself arrived yesterday which once again opened the floodgates.

I was unsure how they would turn out. Of course, I had a photo of the swatch recommended by Shaun and Mike of Broadlands Slippers, but heaven only knows where the colors my monitor shows and reality coincide.

I love them, out of the box they just felt perfect. Today, they are my favorite pair, although that hasn't kept me from thinking about my next. With an 10 week lag from inspiration to delivery, mayhaps something for spring would be in order. Linen? Available for boys and girls, tell 'em I said hi.

Toad

Odds and Ends

2012-01-11T00:00:00.001-06:00

Garden Question

Unless you grow winter wheat, the warm winter in North America has been wonderful. We haven't had a hard freeze yet and I still have roses in bloom. As my ex told me, "I'll get mine."

Walking around the garden yesterday afternoon I noticed that too many plants and bushes were beginning to bud. Forsythia is always too early around here, but Iris, hydrangeas, azaleas were beginning to sprout. Surely the weather will change eventually and not for the better. Shall I let nature take its course and plan for a late or stunted spring bloom as these buds die, or do I need to protect these plants somehow? If so how?

shawl collared cardigans

I have the unfortunate habit of wanting some article of clothing I saw last year, this year. Know the feeling?

I'm on the lookout for shawl collared cardigans. Last year they were as a common as leaves in fall. This year they are either made of gold, as is this number from Ben Silver , or

somewhere, somehow just not quite right, like this from wool US Army replica with the too small shawl from What Price Glory.

The more I look though, the more I like this cotton sweater from Orvis, but not enough to buy.

Available in 4 colors, each one slightly wrong.

My favorite thus far is from J Crew. Perhaps a bit too much like a Lands End Canvas I already have but I've waited too long and now it's gone.

Any recommendations?

Screaming yellow linen pants

I know it's early in the year, and it's not really my place to say, but I gifted these Ralph Purple Label screaming yellow size 42 linen flat fronts to my buddy Giuseppe of An Affordable Wardrobe for his store. Look for them in a few weeks, or if interested get in touch with G.

Keep in mind they are Purple Label thus trim and short rised.

And finally

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Bryan Ferry

Best wishes to the happy couple, who were married January 4. My sole regret is that no one told me the rules had changed. Once upon a time it was accepted, and taught at boy school as fact, that the ideal age difference between a man and his mate was that she should be half his age plus 7 years. The 66 yo Bryan has 37 years on his bride. He's got shoes older than her.

Toad

Casey

2012-01-10T00:00:00.002-06:00

Casey is the handsome dude on the right, his bonus brother Elwood at left. Casey is my daughter's only child and a very fine sweet lad he is. That wasn't always the case.

Casey showed up at our house a wee pup, just when Ted was at his wildest, adolescent stage. Some believed that Ted would help nurture Casey, but they were more like dumb and dumber.

For several years I cursed that dog. He ate anything and everything, included the illuminated Christmas lights off our house. He feasted on baseboards and garden sprinkler heads. It was rumoured he could swim until he got tired, but there is no evidence of his ever getting tired. Somewhere inside him are the remains of my 50 ft extension cord.

Casey (left) and Elwood

Several years later he and she moved to Colorado to enjoy the good life. She married Elwood's partner, a superior guy and lover of canines, while Casey learned from Elwood that the sun rises and sets each day for his new dad. Casey's almost 14 years old, has lost a step or two but still has the fire of a pup in his eyes. His spirit is willing but the body is weak.

He is now sick as a dog. His best days are behind him and the effort now is to keep him comfortable. As I once cursed him, now I get misty eyed thinking about him not being around.

When our 4 pups heard Casey was sick, they asked us to send him treats, which we did,
using the recipe for Dog Biscuits from the Flour Bakery and Cafe (Boston) Cookbook, modified only a bit. Your dogs may like these as well.

Homemade Dog Biscuits From Flour: Spectacular Recipes from Boston’s Flour Bakery + Cafe)

INGREDIENTS
2 cups (250 grams) unbleached all-purpose flour
1 cup (120 grams) whole-wheat flour
1 cup (133 grams) medium-coarse yellow cornmeal
1 cup (120 grams) bulgur
½ cup (100 grams) nonfat dry milk
1 ½ tablespoons kosher salt (we used table salt, no one has complained yet)
1 teaspoon active dry yeast
1 ¼ cups (300 grams) chicken, beef or vegetable stock

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F.

Stir together flours, cornmeal, bulgur, dry milk, and salt until well mixed. Set aside.

In small ball whisk yeast into stock.

On low speed of stand mixer, add stock to flour mixture until stiff dough forms, 2-3 minutes.

Roll out dough to about ½ inch thickness on a flour dusted work surface and cut into desired shapes. (the cookbook says to roll to 1 inch thickness. That didn't work for our cookie cutters)

Bake for about 30-45 minutes or until they start to brown and feel firm. (the cookbook says to turn oven off when done and leave dough in the oven for 8 -12 hours)

The dog biscuits can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 2 months.

Tell your pups they are from Casey.

Toad

Knole House

2012-01-08T00:00:00.001-06:00

Knole House

The patron saint of English garden writers, poet and novelist Vita Sackville-West grew up in her family pile Knole House, one of the largest homes in Britain. She was so heartbroken, her father's only child, at having to leave Knole due to the rules of male primogeniture upon the death of her father in 1930, she wrote half seriously that she considered murdering her father's heirs.

She threw her anger and energy into what in in 1930, must have appeared absolute madness when she purchased the derelict ruins of Sissinghurst Castle and along with her husband Harold Nicholson created what is now one of the country's greatest gardens Sissinghurst Castle Garden.

Sissinghurst Castle

Eighty years on, a new generation of Sackville-West's occupy Knole House. The 53 year old current Lord Sackville of Knole inherited the title in 2004 when his uncle died, and recently announced he plans to throw history and tradition on its ear. Keep in mind his Lordship is young and his only son and heir is now 12 yo, but Lord Sackville has announced his preference for leaving Knole to one of his daughter's, instead of his son.

I have visions of a young Jane Austen character. Think Sense and Sensibility with me here. A young well-to-do woman, with expectations of a large inheritance is suddenly left penniless when her father's executors turn the dogs on her. You can see it coming can't you?

Toad

Now at your neighborhood Borders

2012-01-06T00:00:00.004-06:00

Autographed by whom? Kings David or James, Mathew, John, Mark, Luke, Ruth, Ester...

TGIF,

Toad

Food Porn

2012-01-05T00:00:00.002-06:00

It seems like everywhere I turn lately I'm confronted with the typical New Years Resolution diet stories like how to lose weight fast, or the "water diet" or some such nonsense. I've gone the other way. I've been reading food books for fun.

Christmas Eve I was listening to The Splendid Table on NPR. Edward Behr, the editor of The Art of Eating magazine was telling the story of how his magazine began 25 years ago, its contents and how they write about food. I was spellbound. I never knew food writing could be so sumptuous.

I am not a good eater, and you'd never want to invite me home for dinner. While I can hold up my end of the conversation, the list of things that never cross my lips is far longer than those that do. But I am resolved to try, a least a little bit, to expand my dining repertoire this year.

I figured there were two ways of doing that. I could hold my nose, fork in hand and pretend that I enjoy vegetables, or I could learn to want to savor veggies by following the examples of those that had gone before me and lived to write about what a wonderful experience they had. I chose the later, beginning with several back issues of The Art of Eating. I'm learning.

For Christmas I purchased a copy of New Yorker writer Adam Gopnik's The Table Comes First, Family, France and the Meaning of Food.

I usually enjoy Adam's writing, although I found this book a slog.

I did take away 3 points that all good cooks know intuitively, but I had to learn the hard way. First, the rule of triple action in cooking: take something to eat, do something to it, do something else to it, and don't do anything else after that.

2. Let your oven be either very hot or very cold. None of that 325/350F (160-175C) stuff.

Finally taste is a fiction, shaped by time. We make up our tastes and it is the making-it-up that makes it matter. That gave me hope.

The best part of Gopnik's book I found to be the many references he cited. Foremost was The Physiology of Taste by Brillat-Savarin, published posthumously and anonymously in 1825 by the heirs of a French nobleman renowned for his erudition on matters cullinary, and translated into English by MFK Fisher in 1949.

Brillat-Savarin is probably best known to Iron Chef watchers. His maxim "tell me what you eat and I shall tell you what you are" opens the show. I found a heavily marked up, underlined and dog earned copy on Alibris last week and am happier for it, it may be unwittingly, the funniest book I have ever read.

Any book which begins "What woman wants, God Wants" demands that the reader pay attention. His message is "that the pleasures of the table are for every man, of every land, and no matter what place in history or society; they can be a part of all his other pleasures, and they last the longest, to console him when he has outlived the rest."

For over 400 pages there are 30 Meditations on all things Gastronomic from simple definitions of the senses to control of obesity and everything in between. It's a guide to enjoying yourself at the table. Over the past 200 years some phrases have changed meaning, and some medical advice is plainly wrong, yet the work holds up very well, proving his point that good living is an act of intelligence.

Forget the food component, if you are interested in culture, history, sociology, this is a must read. Foodies too should not give this a miss. It's the best couple of bucks you'll spend this year.

The sole area where Mrs. T and I often disagree is what constitutes food. I believe that if it is going into your mouth it had better taste good, if not what's the point? My bride on the other hand is a trier of the first order, willing to substitute taste for health. In 15 years we have made little headway convincing the other.

Mrs. T reads cookbooks like some women read romance novels. She has been working out a new cookbook on us since Christmas, 1000 Diabetes Receipes by Jackie Mills. While there is not a diabetic in the house, this book is currently replacing any number of low fat/no fat cookbooks usually found on our kitchen counters or night stand.

I generally find low fat cookbooks off putting. Substituting taste for wax is not the way to a man's heart. This book though I like, a lot. While the nutrition info of all the dishes is included I find it isn't necessary. The food tastes like food. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Desserts. All things you'd enjoy eating, using identifiable ingredients. I sense a bit of headway. Highly recommended.

Toad

Dr. Schwartz-Our Family Astronomer Royal

2012-01-04T00:00:00.003-06:00

I've written in the past about our family Astronomer Royal, the late Dr. Richard Schwartz of the University of Missouri-St. Louis. Days before he died, Richard was notified that his last scientific paper had been peer reviewed and accepted for publication by the Geological Society of America.

His work, An Astrophysicist Looks at Global Warming, appears in the January 2012 edition of GSA Today. The paper while written in professional scientist language offers easy to follow proof of the existence of global greenhouse gas warming. I hope you find it rewarding.

Toad

The Astronomer Royal position is still open. Interested candidates should apply on line.

Hope

2012-01-03T00:00:00.007-06:00

The holiday niceness has finally begun to take its toll. I feel a need to let loose my inner male, or at least give it a winter airing before bottling it up until spring.

Rephrasing Yonks who asked over the weekend that if the Mayans are correct and come the winter solstice next year we're toast what would you want to accomplish this year?, I'd wonder how to spend that last day. Your answer may depend upon where you lie on the belief in the afterlife continuum.

Given assurances that in fact the Earth and all on it were going to perish later in the day, my final moments would likely be unpleasant for Lauren Hutton, who probably has her own plans, which likely don't include me.

As long as the probability of universal destruction is low, I took comfort from a recent J Crew catalog. Like Ralph, J. Crew is allergic to using adult women as models, perhaps because there are so few whom "toothpick" pants would flatter. Accidently perhaps, Ms. Hutton appeared in J Crew ads once upon a time. Looks like her granddaughter, the one with the American teeth, has replaced her.

Zank heaven, for very tall, 'tween girls who like to play dress up. Now that I have that out of my system...

Toad

king cake

2012-01-02T00:00:00.002-06:00

King Cake

Not yet ready to pull the plug on the holidays, then try baking a King Cake.

The practice of baking King Cakes during the holiday season is ancient. Romans baked a version for Saturnalia, held around the winter solstice. Later, the cake tradition was Christianized and baked for 12th night, the feast of the Epiphany when it is said the 3 kings visited the infant Jesus. In the US, the purple green and yellow sugared version is more often seen during Mardi Gras feasts.

Mardi Gras King Cake

The King Cake is a party cake and while each country in Europe has it's own variation and tradition on a familar theme, my favorite has a fruitcake or brioche base. As you bake each cake, a small porcelain toy (feve) is inserted in the dough. Whoever gets the slice of the cake with the toy is the King or Queen with all the rights, duties, obligations and appearances due a monarch.

If you're game try this recipe. I think you'll like it. Every bakery in Western Europe offers a commercial variety but the nanny state EU no longer allows commercial bakers to include the feve. Naturally, porcelain feves have become very collectible.

Les Feves

Toad

NMP

2012-01-01T00:00:00.003-06:00

I like you just the way you are. That is why I repeat this every January 1st.

However, if you are hell bent on making New Years resolutions have the decency and courtesy to avoid those self esteem destroying, I'm gonna lose 25 pounds by swimming suit season types. I'll all for self improvement, but self delusion goes a long way.

Allow me to offer the easiest resolution suggestion that you will ever encounter. It is in fact mind numbingly easy, it simply requires that you to change your outlook. If you do it right you will find its simple principles, will improve every aspect of your life. And its free.

With heartfelt thanks to my old boss, Hap Lignoul, and author Douglas Adams I call it NMP. NMP should become your mantra. NMP, as in Not My Problem.

Imagine sitting at home worrying that your doofus high schooler forgot his lunch money, homework, and scheduled 3 calendar conflicts. Instead of stewing about it, remember NMP. You're not paying the price, let him deal with it. Do not give it another thought.

Co-workers flight leaves in an hour and he hasn't left for the airport yet? Bummer, but its NMP.

Is your neighbor off her diet? NMP

Are Karen and Mary at odds? NMP

Not for the world, do I suggest you give up your kind, generous, thoughtful manner. What I am suggesting is, that if everyone worried about what was their own small piece of the world, and kept their nose out of everyone else's business, the world would be a much better place. Your stress level falls. Your blood pressure falls. You live a longer and healthier life. Your near adult children just might learn the value of price paying,and responsibility, once they see you love them enough to let them fail, HARD if necessary. Focus on what you are responsible for, and leave the rest.

Try it, I dare ya.

Happy 2012 to each and every one of you. Let's make this a wonderful, happy, joyous year. We deserve it.

Toad