Are We There Yet?

On Hold

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 20 May 2010 23:47:00 +0000

We are in the process of revisioning this space. Please feel free to email us with suggestions or feedback and check back for future updates.

(Photo by shanan, shared via Flickr)

He was looking at me!

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:23:00 +0000

Guest Post by Justin Sundberg

“My wife received a huge, signed photograph from a famous Old Testament scholar a few years ago. It said, “I was looking at you!”   She and four other female pastor friends had gone to a conference where Walter Brueggemann had been a plenary speaker.   After the first session, one of them, mouth gaping open, could hardly put into words the impact of Dr. Brueggemann’s teaching. But she also said that she was a little uncomfortable because he had looked directly at her during his entire hour-long lecture, to which another friend contested, “No, he was looking at me!” The remaining three friends all laughed and echoed, “No, he was looking at me!!”

The truth is that though Dr. Brueggemann seems to connect very personally when he teaches, his piercing happens less with his eyes than with what happens to the heart. He’s a doctor of the human psyche, as much as he is of the Bible, and that makes for profound teaching and profoundly relevant teaching.

Two weeks ago Brueggemann was lecturing and preaching in Seattle. He urged us to live in the Psalms, but not just those of praise and thanksgiving, but also the songs of lament or what one might call “fist shaking” Psalms, Psalms expressing bitterness, anger, disillusionment.   And we should direct our disappointments, fear, our unmet longings, our anger. . .to God.   If we don’t, Brueggemann rightly says, we’ll either act on those powerful feelings in damaging ways or we’ll stuff them all away and hurt ourselves and others.

If we read the Psalms of lament alongside our more familiar and beloved Psalms, we can get to a place of honesty with God, ourselves and with others.   We need to keep at them, time and again, and it will give a spiritual and soul reshaping to the regular mess we or others make of our lives. Better, it can help us mitigate those or to deal with them afterward.

Honesty with God gets a lot done. It makes God more approachable and less sterile. It makes us more approachable and less sterile! It shows the world that God knows that real life includes orientation, disorientation: lament, and reorientation. And it has practical consequences that will surprise us. We won’t wring our hands so often or act in appropriate ways during the hard things of life -- we’ll have demanded an accounting of them from God and we will have left them to God to deal with. To put all the ugly in our life squarely to God is no small thing. But we have a big God. Brueggemann says the Psalms is the place that can help us live each day, from the need to praise and thank, but also the times when our impulse is anything but benevolent or when we can’t see up from down.

New Posting "Schedule"

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 08:00:00 +0000

We will now be posting as the Spirit leads rather than weekly. We would like to use this space for announcements of upcoming events and summaries of completed events as well as our other posts. To be sure you don't miss out on any of our posts, consider signing up for RSS feed or to get our posts in your email inbox. See the sidebar for these opportunities. We'd love to have your comments, as well.

A Reminder!

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 17:45:00 +0000

Earl and Shirley Palmer are speaking this Wednesday, April 14th 7-8:30pm in Calvin Lounge at UPC. Join us for a conversation on The Essential Connection: Children and Their Parents, and Their Parents’ Parents (grandparents). This conversation isn’t just for grandparents, but do make sure to bring them with you for a great discussion on raising kids!

Haiti Mission Update

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 06:09:00 +0000

Haiti Mission Update from David Hallgren

We arrived here safely after a long two days of travel. Long wait in the PAP airport for shuttle flight up to Port de Paix, long bumpy road to Passe Catabois! Bruce and Deb's hospitality has been amazing and we all went to bed with full tummies. Especially after celebrating Betsey Baker's birthday with cake and brownies.

Today we worked on a foundation for the school at Foison, about 5 miles away. It was fun to work with the crew we brought down and we were all humbled by the incredible work ethic and productivity of the Haitian workers. We worked hard, but they worked us under the table! We also played soccer with the kids, and one of our team went to the hospital and medical clinic.

Keep us in your prayers - we are still waiting for 7 bags! but nothing else too major.

Blessings,
David

Marriage Amidst Parenting: Reflections on a talk presented by Steve and Lisa Call

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:20:00 +0000

Posted by Jennifer Reeve-Parker

Are marriage and parenting really all that different? I was struck by that thought listening to Steve and Lisa Call talk about Marriage Amidst Parenting this week at Tuesdays Together. Steve did his PhD on attachment in children and learned that attachment is dependent upon physical and emotional availability and consistency. Availability and consistency. Those two key things are also what is at the core of attachment in marriage. Lisa shared a story about teenagers dating – when they are together, they don’t care what they do; they just hang out. As parents, we don’t just “hang out” with each other anymore. Yet, our marriages need time together. We have to accept that we will never be able to always be available physically and emotionally for our spouses, or our children for that matter. However, we do need presence. We need time together where we can play, where we can listen empathetically to one another, where we don’t have to solve problems, but just be in one another’s company.

Steve and Lisa shared that roughly 70% of conflict in any marriage will always remain unresolved. We don’t have to resolve everything. Relationships invite us to embrace conflict and learn to be together, to listen, and to love despite differences of opinion.

My goal for this week is to play board games with my husband one night after our son goes to bed. I wonder how you might plan to “hang out” with your spouse….

(Photo by Nate Kay, shared via Flickr)

Easter Story Cookies

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Posted by Jennifer Reeve-Parker

This Holy Week I am struck by the gift of remembering the powerful story of Jesus. Yet, it can be easy for me to keep that story for myself in a quiet moment and not share it with my son. Here’s a great way to share the story with your kids, grandkids, and friends this Holy week!

Easter Story Cookies: To Be Made the Evening Before Easter
Shared by Ann Hinman at Tuesdays Together talk in fall 2009
Ingredients:
1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp vinegar
3 egg whites
Pinch of salt
1 c sugar
Zipper baggie
Wooden spoon
Tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F

Instructions:
Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave his life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 c. sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because he loves us. He wants us to know and belong to him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in the broken nuts. Drop by teaspoon onto a wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66.

GO TO BED.

Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9.

HE IS RISEN - HE IS RISEN INDEED!

(Photo by Donut_Diva, shared via Flickr)

Another Small Group Story

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Guest Post by Rachel Billett

I come from a Catholic upbringing but have been attending UPC since meeting my husband 7 years ago. While my Catholic parish is small and I know lots of people there, there is just something about UPC that keeps me coming back. The music that I really connect to at the 5pm service, the Sunday School program that my kids, 2 and 5, talk about all week and the programs for families make UPC such a special place. The one drawback I have found is the size and number of people. Meeting people and making connections was difficult. I was determined to participate in some activities that would help us meet people and make connections.

My desire to make those connections is one of the reasons we decided to join a small group. We were excited to find one in our area for families. I was even more excited to learn that the leader was someone I already knew. I hoped this would make it a bit easier. Although my husband had been in a small group before, this would be my first experience. When we started meeting, I knew I would be asking for specific prayers. My cousin had been battling Lymphoma for 2 years and it appeared that her time on this earth was quickly coming to an end. I was so sad that her kids would be losing their mom and her sister would be losing her best friend. After our first meeting, she did pass away and I asked for prayers for all of us as we prepared for her funeral. While I have lost many people close to me before, this experience was different. While attending my cousin's funeral, I felt the prayers of my small group friends and the presence of God more than I can ever recall before.

In the last year we have done many things to try and meet people, build relationships and make connections with people at UPC. Now that we have joined a small group, I look forward to our get togethers every week. I’m still learning to be comfortable sharing in small group discussion, but I know that I am making those connections that I have been looking for. I feel that through our small group, and many of the other activities we are trying, God is slowly showing me the way to a fuller understanding of His presence in my life.

On Being Vulnerable

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:05:00 +0000

Posted by Terry McNichols

The topic in this week’s Many Rooms study guide in the section “What’s Happening in the Small Group?” was to talk about a time in your life when you really felt like a fish out of water. Many of us came up with times from the past when we had experienced that feeling. One brave new member in our small group answered in a way that showed true vulnerability. Her answer? “I’m feeling like a fish out of water right now!” She went on to tell us that she has not been in group Bible study settings in a very long time, and worried that she might not be doing it “right.”

This is a good picture of what is happening throughout our church community as we participate in small groups. We are coming together as vulnerable human beings, willing to share our thoughts and fears with a group of people we have possibly never met before. And we are expecting the members of that group to enfold us, help us to feel a part of the larger community that is UPC! We are all “fish out of water,” and the church provides a safe fishbowl of community.

(Permission was obtained to tell this story. It is important to remember that we are committed to confidentiality in our groups!)
(Photo by j0hnm33, shared via Flickr)

Who to Thank?

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Guest Post by Leona Bergstrom

My almost 3 year old (going on 13) grandson visited me this weekend. I announced that I had made him some very special pasta for dinner. When we sat down I said our dinner grace. (My mistake – I should have let HIM do the praying!). I simply said “Thank you Jesus for the food. Amen.” To which Noah replied, “Why?” “Why what?” I asked. “Why Jesus?” he quizzed.

Oh wow. Here is the grandma moment I’ve been waiting for. My chance to pass on a heritage of faith.

“Well, Jesus made the food for us to eat and we should thank him for it.” (Not a great answer, but it was fast.)

His response: “I thought you made it. Why Jesus?”

Hmmmm. How do you explain that God provided the wheat, the rain, the tomatoes, the money to buy it — everything. I just fixed it. Kind of like explaining faith and works.

Next time I’ll stick to: “Dear God: Thank you for the world so sweet. Thank you for the food we eat. Thank you for the birds that sing. Thank you, God, for everything. Amen” That covers it and is really pretty great theology. God provides all we need to do all He asks us to do.
______________________________________________________________________________
Join us on Wednesday, April 14th as Earl and Shirley Palmer speak about The Essential Connection: Kids & Their Parents and Their Parents' Parents (Grandparents). Calvin lounge from 7-8:30.

(Photo by SP8254-on a break, shared via Flickr, previously posted here.)

Giving Up My Autonomy

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Guest Post by Anneke Hagen

During one of George’s sermons he detailed the difference between our friendships (linear relationships) and small groups (circular relationships). It took hearing that to realize that as much as I love my friendships, they can be very self serving, a chance for me to put my best foot forward with people I already know. Signing up for a brand new small group, with total strangers, however, is much more of a stretch. It would be easier for me, and closer to my typically introverted nature, to NOT join a small group. And yet, when I think of my past small group experience, despite initial anxiety, God has always honored the commitment to step outside of my comfort zone.

This Lent I have the privilege of facilitating a group of fellow parents who meet while our children are enjoying various UPC programs. We have met once and I have already been blessed by their insights into the study and by their willingness to share prayer requests that are close to the heart. I look forward to seeing what God will do over the weeks and how He will build community as each of us sets aside our autonomy.

New Small Group Meeting Report

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Guest Post by Julie Thomas

Our first meeting stands out in two ways:

One was that we "let the little children come"--and they did, with their joy and pain! Joy in singing together "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jump into the Light" (yes, we jumped!) Pain in Elizabeth's (3) fat lip after a slip and then tears at being separated (by a hallway) from her parents. But again, joy returned in the form of an M-n-M cookie--Hallelujah!

Joy again as Joel, (also 3) who was checking once more to make sure mom and dad hadn't evaporated, heard Tyler Parris share a humorous story amongst the adults. Although the content was probably unintelligible to Joel, he readily shared in the emotion with grins and laughter along with the parents--before running back with an orange to share with his new friends and our ever-competent-though-somewhat-shell-shocked-sitter, Kyla!

The second was discovering our connectedness before we even connected! We shared mutual friends, common travel experiences, work similarities and of course the "you go to the 5, too?--where do you sit?" or "10am is the best--those Sunday school teachers are awesome"!

What will this Friday bring!? Heaven only knows!

-Julie Thomas

The Reluctant Joiner

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Betsy Fay

I was hesitant at first. And had turned it down several times since I’d had a morning job and that was when the Moms-in-Touch small group met. But I reached a point when I knew that I wanted to be in intentional prayer for my sons and their schools. I needed this. These women had been meeting for years – to pray for Bryant Elementary, then Eckstein Middle, now Roosevelt & Garfield & Holy Names high schools. Would I fit in? Would they be too reverent for me? Would I hear how perfect, how high achieving their kids all were when I was so aware of the shortcomings of my own? Would there be room for humor or just serious scripture study and ponderous prayer. And praying out loud seems so public. I was raised Episcopalian after all, one of the ‘frozen chosen.’ We never said anything out loud unless we all were chanting the same thing in unison.

So I was reticent. Shy. By the 3rd week I knew that God was in that living room. I couldn’t wait to be there each Tuesday afternoon. Our Lord was sitting on the couch with us. He was hearing each concern, he was yakking about our ideas for the school, he was rejoicing when so-and-so passed that test, got onto the soccer team, had a date to the dance, finally made a friend to sit with at lunch. He listened calmly when one of us sobbed that a child was drinking, that one had had a car wreck, when one had been harassed at school, bullied online, suspended, drugs. He gave his point of view or a different perspective. He spoke encouragement, offered up ideas, trouble-shooted possible solutions. He kept our view long, our prize in reach.

And then He was right back on the couch the next week – asking for updates, remembering that I had been so worried, wanting to know if someone had heard from their first choice yet, did the money come through, what about that meeting with the history teacher? He helped connect the dots on where God had been in our lives since we’d last met. He kept me steady in prayer, steady in belief, steady in hope, steady in joy, steady in awe of being someone’s mother.

Our Lord was there. He was with us. He was: Gwen, Erica, Helen, Ruthanne, Chris, Robin, Tina, Donelyn, Cheryl, Gretchen, Beth.

My small group.

A Small Group: For Me?

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Jennifer Reeve-Parker

Our family tried out a small group a few years ago. We liked the people and all but couldn't figure out how to make it work with bedtime routine, work, and all that. So, when Pastor George started talking about the Lenten Small Group Initiative I wondered how our family might be involved. At first, I thought maybe I could pick some folks from the neighborhood and organize a group that way, but that was not what God had in mind for us. Oh no - this was a going out on a limb faith journey he had in mind. After much discussion, our family decided we were ready to try out being a part of a small group again. After several Sundays of hearing George talk about God's call to community, after re-reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book, Life Together, and after a little prayer, we went ahead and signed up to host a small group. Now that I have undergone the small group facilitator training, I learned that we bailed out of our first group when we reached the storming stage. Small groups go through their own life cycles - just like many relationships: forming, storming, norming, and performing (based on a study done by Bruce W. Tuckman and Mary Ann C. Jensen). I realized that we didn't want to face the conflict of discussing what really works for us and what really works for others, so we left.

I wonder how many others have walked out of a group at the storming stage. When explaining this Lenten Small Group Initiative to the UPC staff recently, George invited us to not only experience a small group, but to see this as a 6-week mission trip in which we get to experience the church as God intends it. As he said that I realized that by not being in a small group we've been missing out on an essential part of what it is to be in the church - being community with one another. Even if you've never tried a small group before, or if you got stuck at the storming stage, I wonder if you'll join us in the step of faith and sign up for this 6-week mission trip by joining a Lenten Small Group. You don't even have to pack your suitcase! Well - maybe a diaper bag. And hey - if you do sign up - drop me a line and let me know how your group goes. Our group will have 6 kids involved so I'm guessing it'll be a wild ride.

Elementary Sports Night

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:22:00 +0000

Guest post by Suzy Symons

Family Ministries Sport Night is a much-anticipated tradition in our family! We get to meet local professional & collegiate athletes, hear how God has impacted their lives and their sport and then it’s time to play, play, play! Whether it is participating in a skills clinic with the guest athlete, jumping on the huge inflatables, playing a round of mini-golf or just visiting with other families, there is something fun for everyone to do – which is not always easy to find in our family!

One of our highlights is bringing neighborhood kids and parents who don’t normally attend church. This event is such a fun, easy way to introduce others to church! Most people are so surprised that UPC encourages and celebrates fun! We also love the relaxed, hangout time with other parents – it’s a good time to connect (away from a Sunday morning) while we are watching/playing with our kids.

Sport Night is a great opportunity to play, hang out with others who love the Lord and to witness many happy, sweaty kids at play! We to see you and your family on Friday!

Elementary Sports Night, February 5, 6:30-8:30, Larson.

Small Groups

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Guest Post by Diane Pearson

Our family has been involved in a small group for the past five years. While ours perhaps hasn't been a typical success story, it has certainly remained an important part of our family's life. Our first group fizzled after a few months, but we were reassigned to our current group and have enjoyed every minute of it. The members have changed over the years as families move away and others join, and we have agreed to modify the structure of the "study" to fit the needs of the moment. Since we all have young children it's nice to be able to keep things rather flexible. We are currently using our time to gather around the dinner table, whether it be pizza or macaroni and cheese, and laugh, cry and pray together.

This time of fellowship is a highlight of our week and has been such a blessing to our family. Our kids ask about their "church friends" regularly and we pray for them each night. As others have said before, the small group has helped our family feel even more connected to UPC and seeing our friends in the hall on Sunday makes the church seem that much smaller.

Check out the Many Rooms All-Church Small Group Signups, starting January 31st online here!

Honor Each Other: Play!

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Guest Post by Lisa Call

When we think of play, we think of our children. When is the last time you set aside time to "play" with your spouse. "What do you mean?" you ask. Play looks different for everyone but it must include "carefree timelessness." We schedule play dates for our kids, we schedule them with friends if we are lucky. But how often do we schedule a "play date " with our husband or wife? Carefree timelessness is what young couples do a lot of, it is why young people fall in love and why older couples (who don't take time for this) fall out of love. If our schedules are too tight for this then, they are too tight!

We may be doing lots of good things! Steve and I looked at each other on New Year's Day and realized we hadn't done anything for just the two of us during the whole Christmas break. We had lots of good family time but a marriage needs its own time too. Give yourself permission to take time out for each other and make it a priority this New Year! Marriage is so full of serious decisions and obligations -- don't forget to take time off to play!

A Shout Out for Small Groups

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Terry McNichols

George's sermon on January 10 entitled "Alone in a Perfect World" was an excellent lead in to this important series on community and the need for small group participation. If you missed it, you can hear it here! George read a letter from some men who had experienced life transformations by participating in a small group.

My husband and I joined a small group at a point in time when we had three young children and didn't think we could possibly commit to another meeting. How surprised we were to find that not only did we make the time, but that commitment became the highlight of our week. Throughout the years of raising children, the support we received from this group was unmeasurable. Priceless, even! We found creative ways to barter childcare so that we could participate as adults. These couples are still our closest friends after 20 years of participating in the good, the bad and the ugly of each others' lives.

In our small group, we found that it took a few years of friendship and weekly meetings before we actually got into the deeper needs of all of us. We were having a good time socializing, but my husband and I reached a major crisis point in our marriage and found it difficult to keep up the facade of having it all together. We decided one night to be honest, letting the truth pour out, and from that time forward, our group was never the same. We weathered many storms together -- illness, marital strife, job changes, parenting adolescents -- too many to name. We had a story that we used as an example of the depth of our friendship. One of our members had a car break down at 2 AM on a hill in Bellingham, our home town. He didn't call any of us for help. From the discussion that followed that incident, we became the Friends One Would Call at 2 AM on Alabama Hill!

Everyone needs friends to call on when life throws you a curve. Often our group would lapse into long periods of normality -- yes, we got a little bored at times -- but we realized that those times were necessary for building the trust and commitment for the Alabama Hill moments. And hopefully, this experience of transparency has carried over into new friendships we have made. We are not content with "How are you? I'm fine" and want to get to know people at a more intimate level.

Do consider making time for the Lenten small group experience. And remember to be open to the Holy Spirit's nudging when it's your turn to share.

Missions and kids!

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Terry McNichols

The retirement celebration this Sunday for Hieu Hoang and the story that accompanies his journey from Vietnam to UPC brings to mind an experience my family had in the early 1980’s. We were part of a church group that sponsored several Mien families from Laos. At the time we signed up, we had just added our third child to our already- busy family and I wasn’t sure we would be able to be involved deeply. How would we juggle the many balls we already had in the air and add this new commitment?

What I wasn’t prepared for was the impact this involvement would have on our family. Over the years we became friends with many Laotians – first in teaching them the ways of the US -- then eating in their homes, loving their children and extended families, helping them find jobs, and expanding our own view of the world. Rather than taking time away from family to “serve,” our entire family was a part of the team.

My husband and I are about to embark on a mission trip to El Salvador in just a few weeks. This will be my 4^th trip to the village in El Salvador that we support through UPC’s involvement with Agros International. It’s called “Journey with a Village” and ten of us from UPC will be spending time working alongside the people, playing games, laughing, eating, sharing Veggie Tales movies, holding babies, and witnessing a signing ceremony as two more village families gain ownership of the land they have worked hard to own! It is an amazing experience.

This relationship with El Salvador and with mission trips in general has come about after our children have all grown. We would love to have shared this kind of mission trip as a family, but that wasn’t possible for us at the time we were raising our children. If it is a possibility for you, do consider taking your school- aged or older children along on a mission trip like this! What an amazing experience it would be for them and what a great way for your family to talk about the world and its problems. It also helps children gain more perspective on material possessions and our place in the global economy. The July 2010 trip to our village might have a couple of children on the team and would love to be joined by another family or two! If you’d like to talk to someone who has included their family in this kind of trip, just email me through our blog! Or check out this slide show of one of our trips!

If, however, a family mission trip isn’t possible for you, please do consider other ways that your family can get involved locally. Don’t look on “serving” as something you do without your family. Find a way to involve the entire family. Children and Family Ministries would be happy to hook you up with a ministry that would fit with your family!

Happy New Year from Children and Family Ministries

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Our weekly posts will resume next week. May God bless you and your family in this new year!

Merry Christmas from Children & Family Ministries

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Jennifer Reeve-Parker

The Old Testament prophet Malachi prophecies the coming of a messenger who will prepare us for Christ.

“See, I am sending my messenger to prepare the way before me, and the Lord whom you seek will suddenly come to his temple. The messenger of the covenant in whom you delight—indeed, he is coming, says the Lord of hosts. But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears?
For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap; he will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the descendants of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, until they present offerings to the Lord in righteousness. Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in former years.” Malachi 3:1-4

Malachi speaks of Elijah, but his announcement foretells the coming of John. I am comforted by this vision that he will refine us like gold and silver. I love that God knows we need refinement, loves us anyway, and believes we can be refined! Each of us does need refining and sometimes the holidays are just what we need to remind us of how much we need it. We need it so that we present offerings to the Lord in righteousness and not an offering simply made up of worldly goods picked up at last minute Christmas sales, and hardened, impatient hearts.
Malachi 4:5-6 goes on to say,

“Lo, I will send you the prophet Elijah before the great and terrible day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents, so that I will not come and strike the land with a curse.”

May your hearts be turned to your children this Christmas, and may your children’s hearts be turned to you. May you know the tender, gracious, merciful love of your heavenly Father come down to earth for the forgiveness of sins, and most importantly may you enter into his rest, enjoying relationship with him! And Lord, refine us in your mercy when we think our patience is gone!

Listening to God

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 05:17:00 +0000

Posted by Jennifer Reeve-Parker

Last Sunday, Pastor George talked about listening to God. I struggle with listening and I tend to think I’m not the only one. In this culture, listening is not something that we are accustomed to doing well. Those of us who are parents find listening particularly challenging, as we are always surrounded by a cacophony of noise and our days are cram-packed with work, child-rearing, sports, and hopefully enough sleep to go on each day. Amidst all of this, it is hard for us to make time to listen to what God wants to say to us.

Yet, it is in the listening that we are given what we need most to go on each day. When we pause, hear God’s word, listen for his voice, lift our needs in prayer, and wait upon God, we are met by the presence that is always with us – amidst that cacophony of noise, amidst the soccer games, amidst work, amidst dinner, and amidst our pauses. Author and nun, Macrina Wiederkehr writes in Seven Sacred Pauses, “the mystical possibilities of every moment are revealed to us in our intentional pauses.”

How might you pause today and throughout this Advent and notice the gift of God’s immeasurable love for you? How might you invite your family to pause together for a moment to hear God’s story, God’s word, and God’s incredible love for them?

You might start by looking over papers that came home from your child’s class at church on Sunday and talk about the story taught there. Look for God’s message in that story. What did God want you to hear? What is God saying to you through that story? You might open your Bible and read Matthew 1:18-25 and notice what stands out for you, what is God saying to you through this. Ask your kids, “who is this Jesus,” and “what does ‘God with us’ mean to you”?

The more you practice pausing, you might discover that they become “treasured anointings in the midst of our work,” as penned by Wiederkehr. God, grant us the grace to allow ourselves permission to pause, and when we do, may we hear you this day. Amen.

The Christmas Creche

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Terry McNichols

One of my regrets in life is that my husband and I simply did not manage to have a lot of traditions in our home that carried on from year to year. I’m not exactly sure why this happened, but we just didn’t seem to have very many traditions that stuck. We tried getting our Christmas tree together a few times, had birthday parties for Jesus, opened presents at night, in the morning, collected ornaments -- some years! In fact, when I recently asked my daughter what we should have to eat on Christmas Eve, she stated that our family “tradition” was to have something different every year. That’s one way of reframing it!

One thing we did have, however, was a Christmas crèche. When Ken and I were first married, we bought a complete crèche scene and painstakingly painted and antiqued every piece. We still have all the pieces, minus one chip out of the donkey’s ear, knocked off the shelf by the family cat. We never did find that missing ear and finally decided that the crèche was just perfect without it!

As our children grew, however, the crèche took on “other” meanings during the Christmas season. Our kids had a lot of fun changing the scene. One year the shepherds and wise men formed a rock band, complete with little guitars and drums. Another year, Sylvester the Cat would show up in the scene. Or various animals would roam the stage. Or the smurfs. Or whatever action figures happened to be in vogue at the time. Our kids recreated life, mostly in fun.

But one year, as we were waiting to have our Christmas eve dinner, we got a phone call from our middle son. He had pulled out into oncoming traffic, driving my car, and been hit by a car he hadn’t seen coming. He and his girlfriend were fine, but shaken up, and we interrupted our planned events to go and sort things out.

When we returned home, the crèche had mysteriously morphed into a new scene, complete with a wrecked toy car with shepherds and wise men all looking on with concern. Joseph was on the phone, Mary was sitting at the dinner table waiting for the family. And above it all, the angel hovered, having done her job, keeping everyone safe.

Today the crèche sits, undisturbed by the hands of children, awaiting the next generation’s take on the meaning of Christmas. And, after a half hour search in my completely disorganized photo storage system, I found the picture! If you look closely, you can even see the missing donkey ear.

Addendum:
Last year I had my 2-1/2-year-old grandson, Caleb,visiting and he and I set up my Playmobile creche scene. It has a cardboard backing with a stable and door. We set up the camel, the wise men, Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the angel. I was waiting for Caleb to begin acting out the story of Christmas. Caleb picked up a shepherd and resolutely walked him over to the stable door. "TRICK OR TREAT!" he yelled!

Guess we've got a little way to go til he gets the story down!

(Photo by mharrsch, shared via Flickr)

A Son Leaves Home for College

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Posted Anonymously

Dear Son,
The day you were born, our lives changed forever. Diapers, bottles, strollers, car seats! While our daily schedule and activities were altered, nothing was impacted more than our hearts. The little boy for whom we had prayed, instantly expanded our hearts with a love we could never have imagined. Infant, toddler, school boy, teenager, young adult; the years have passed so quickly.

Now I realize that you are eager to gain some distance from your parental units – especially your mom – and we are excited for all that you will learn on this new adventure called college. The next four years will fly by even faster than the past 13 years of public school, and you will grow personally and academically by leaps and bounds. Because I can’t say these things to you in person without ending up in a puddle of tears, please allow me the kindness of taking time to read my mother’s heart for you.

Son, there are no words to tell you how much I love you and how deeply proud I am of the young man you have become. You have dedicated yourself to doing all things well, you demonstrate compassion and grace with others, and I believe your heart belongs first to the Lord. Whether on the slopes of the Cascades, in the classroom, on the track or cross-country trail, even in new social experiences you have shown courage and leadership. As we move into this next season of life, there are a few things I want to share with you from my heart.

First – as Earl Palmer has said many times – remember who you are. Your identity is not found in the work you do, the skills you possess, or the places of struggle. What other people say about you does not create your identity. Who you are is determined by the fact that you are a unique creation of God, and it is His character in you that gives you purpose and meaning.

Secondly, remember your name and whose you are. You bear a family name and represent all of us with your words and actions. You have carried your family name with honor. Thank you! But more significant than your family name, is the name by which God calls you. He calls you Beloved Son, and it is to Him you belong first and last – by creation and by salvation. Remember that you will always belong to us and have a home, but you belong first and forever to Jesus.

Thirdly, living faithfully is not about doing and saying the right things, but about your individual relationship with the Lord and then life in community with other believers. It is not possible to remain in a static position when it comes to faith. There is no place on this side of heaven at which we can lean back on our laurels believing that we have arrived. It is a journey, and that implies movement. When it comes to faith, if we are not growing forward we are sliding backward. So take care to guard your heart and mind with the wisdom of God’s Word and stay connected to your eternal family in worship, service, and community.

Last, there will be times when you feel confident to face the challenges of life and studies at college, and times when it is all just a bit overwhelming. You are prepared to take on the tasks of making new friends, living more independently from your parents, and applying yourself to your studies. However, no journey is always smooth. Life has a way of presenting us with storms. Remember that you are not alone in the storm – Jesus is in the boat with you. When He seems silent, it does not mean he has abandoned you or cares not for your fears and concerns. He is quiet (sleeping in the stern) because He is confident that the storm will not
overwhelm you. His presence and confidence can be your hope and courage while facing the storm. One of the most incredible experiences for me as your parent has been to watch you practice and compete in cross-country and track. It was inspiring to me to see you look at the challenge and push yourself to attain the goal. Just when you thought that perhaps you couldn’t, you would dig down a little deeper and keep going. There will be times when you feel overwhelmed and fear falling short of your goals. Whether that happens in your classes, socially, or at a personal level, dig down a little deeper. With God’s help you can face the difficulty and win the prize of a race well run. You can do this!

Your dad and I know you are ready for college and that you will continue to do well as you apply yourself to the task. Remember that we are here for you no matter what. Don’t hesitate to tell us how we can support you. We love you, we are proud of you, we believe in you, and we are praying for you. Work hard and have fun!
Love, Mom

GPS for Relationships

noreply@blogger.com (Terry McNichols) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Posted by Terry McNichols

In a Bringing Baby Home workshop I teach for couples with new babies, I use an example from my own marriage. For many years my husband and I fought the same nasty fight, over and over again. The issue was how we navigated during times of extreme travel stress. My husband would usually drive and I would try to navigate. I was not good at my part of the job, and he also had his flaws, so we would deteriorate into chaos during those intense times. I refused to be a blind follower and he desperately wanted me to trust that he knew what he was doing or where we were going. Around and around we would go, getting nowhere.

In the workshop, I teach skills in conflict regulation and we look at two concentric circles of compromise, where one puts the areas where no yielding is possible in the center circle and the areas where compromise might be possible in the outer circle. I give the solutions that my husband and I eventually reached as an example of how we finally negotiated compromises that allowed us to travel together in peace and actually enjoy ourselves, even in foreign countries, lost and driving on the left-hand side of the road!

But recently I have had to revise my story, because we purchased a GPS. This handy device has been an amazing boon to our marital happiness and we have found the other compromise solutions completely outdated as we now both trust Gertrude, our bossy voice from the GPS, to lead us to our desired destination.

As I was explaining the use of a GPS to solve this particular problem, one person in my workshop suggested that it would certainly be wonderful if there were a GPS for all similarly entrenched marital difficulties! I wholeheartedly agreed. I could be a wealthy woman if I could just invent such a device. Our ultimate source book, God's word, is full of amazing insights on how we should treat each other, if we would only just apply them. For some very practical ways to work on learning to regulate conflict without the help of GPS technology however, check out John Gottman, University of Washington researcher who developed Bringing Baby Home. He has some great books on the topic!

(Photo by Dean Terry, shared via Flickr)