Soapbox

Why I'm a Quaker

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Sat, 07 Jan 2017 18:37:00 +0000

Why I’m a Quaker

If you don’t already know, I recently became a Quaker. It’s a recent development in my life (November 2016), so I’m still learning what it means, but I like what I’m finding so far.

Let me give you some background. I had a wonderful experience growing up Seventh-Day Adventist and I really have no complaints. I left the Adventist church for theological reasons and because of the nature of institutional religion – it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t really expect to affiliate with a religion or denomination again, and I especially didn’t think I’d become a Quaker.

I was looking for a spiritual community of some sort, and I thought about creating my own discussion group, which I still think is a valid option. But one day I was helping my grandmother move and she was giving away a bunch of books. I picked up a 1950’s volume about religious sects in America. I read the chapter about Quakers and was impressed.

One of my issues with religion is it seems to come with a lot of unnecessary baggage. I like the community and the people, but the good things are often tainted with gender and race issues, homophobia, and a long list of exclusive and untenable doctrines.

Episcopal and Universalist Unitarian are two common choices for people who are looking for a more liberal tradition and I have the utmost respect for both groups. In my case though, I’m frustrated that they maintain a similar format as traditional church, with a hired priest or pastor up the front giving a sermon, which has never felt very egalitarian to me. And in the Episcopal case, they still maintain a large and expensive organizational structure.

What I like about Quakers

I was pleasantly surprised to learn about the simplicity of the Quaker way. From their beliefs to their practices, Quakers seem to have stripped away the bloat of religion to get to the core of what really matters.

Quaker Belief

Quakers have one theological idea. It’s called Inner Light and it holds that everyone has access to God or that of God in them. In Adventism, there are 28 fundamental beliefs. I can’t remember all of them. Compared to 28, the simplicity of one theological idea is refreshing. It feels like religion without the extra baggage, religion paired down to what is actually important.

Quaker theology is simple, but not simplistic. The implications of the doctrine of Inner Light are far reaching. I’m barely scratching the surface, but below are 3 implications of Inner Light that stand out to me.

Implications of the Doctrine of Inner Light

A Robust Moral Foundation

This idea of inner light and the radical equality it engenders is a sufficient basis for a very robust moral foundation. Every human is a spiritual being with a connection to the divine, and therefore is essentially valuable. As opposed to a morality based on “because God said so” (and we can never seem to agree on what God actually said) or as opposed to rejecting morality altogether, inner light equality demands that each person be treated as a person, and not as a thing or an object. It’s morality of human dignity. This implication is fundamental for the implications that follow.

Religious Empathy

Quakers don’t have a position on most of the major worldview questions that generally distinguish world religions. You can be a Muslim Quaker or a Buddhist Quaker. The Inner light doctrine teaches that all people have access to God, so who is to say your convictions are wrong?

Also – an important note here – the “God” of the Inner Light doctrine is not defined. Some Quakers believe in a traditional Christian God and others think in terms of the Universe or Love or a Sustaining Force. Quakers don’t have an agenda for who you believe God to be. In my next blog post I’ll explore some of these alternative views of God.

This is important to me because I believe there is a lot of value in different religions, as well as agnosticism and atheism. I don’t claim all religions and philosophies are created equal or that everything every religion teaches is true, but I do believe they have value.

Quakers respect and embrace a diversity of ideas believing there is truth to be found wherever people are thinking about the great questions of life. Quaker community can help you live out your convictions more effectively, while celebrating a diversity of perspectives and creating an environment for mutual learning and growth. In our increasingly polarized political culture, with the demonization of Muslims and immigrants, the last thing we need is more adamant orthodoxies. Quaker meeting is a place where all ideas are genuinely welcomed and considered.

Equality and activism

Because of the doctrine of Inner Light, Quakers have been on the right side of history on many human rights issues.

Gender - Quakerism has not suffered from the patriarchal sexism that seems such a prominent feature of Abrahamic traditions. While Quakers come from the Christian tradition, from the earliest times, women had equal roles with men in Quaker meetings. Quakers were very active in the women’s suffrage movement.

Native Peoples - Native Americans were treated fairly in Colonial times by Quakers when most settlers saw Native Americans as religionless savages. Advocacy for Native Americans has been a feature of Quakerism ever since. (Quakers followed the Standing Rock protest very closely. Many sent supplies or volunteered in person.)

Race - Quakers were some of the first to corporately oppose slavery and were the primary players in the famous Underground Railroad. They continue to work for racial justice today.

Sexuality - Since the 1990’s they have welcomed LGBTQ people and affirmed homosexual marriage and practice.

Quakers are the most socially active group I’ve ever seen or been a part of. With Quakers, the point is not what you believe, it’s how you live. This is also evident in the Quaker testimonies, which I describe below.

Quaker Practice

Unprogrammed Worship

In addition to the simplicity of theology, Quakers have a simplicity of practice that I really appreciate. If you would attend any Sunday worship there are a couple of things you would immediately notice. There is no pastor or paid staff. People trickle in and sit down in the meeting room. No one calls the meeting to order. The worship service consists of an hour of silence. During the hour, people pray or meditate or think. After the first 15-20 minutes of silence people can stand up and share if they have something they want to say, but it’s not uncommon for the entire hour to pass in silence. I have to admit, I’m kind of burned out on sermons. Good preachers who are interesting to listen to are rare. Even with a good preacher, I feel like we’re always circling back to the same answers. Silent worship is a big part of the draw of Quakerism for me.

5 Testimonies

Another of my favorite things about Quakerism is that the emphasis is not on what you believe, it’s how you live. There are 5 testimonies in Quakerism that express values for how they try to live. They are:

Simplicity—Letting go of distractions and focusing on the meaningful things in life.

Peace—Living in a way that takes away the need for war. Working for justice, healing, and a better life for all people and the whole Earth.

Integrity—Presenting the same face and witness in our private lives and our public lives. Matching our actions to our beliefs.

Community—Supporting and sharing our spiritual paths and each others’ lives in both joy and sorrow.

Equality—Treating all people as equals.

Again, these feel like the essentials in life – religion without the baggage. I’ve just begun to try to live out these testimonies with the Quakers, but I look forward to see how they will change my life.

So yeah, that’s why I’m a Quaker, in a nutshell. There is more to the story that I’ll hopefully share in other posts, but that’s an overview of Quakerism. I’ve already become quite evangelical about it in a certain way. I don’t believe everyone should become a Quaker, but I feel like there may be more people like me who would find a spiritual home with the Quakers if they knew what they were about.

If you have a Quaker meeting in your area, I encourage you to check it out. Even if you think it’s probably not for you, a silent meeting is worth experiencing at least once. Give simple religion a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised.

We Live In Public

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 15:51:00 +0000

In my first Digital Media Marketing class, the teacher showed us a documentary called "We Live In Public." I rarely expect videos in class to be interesting, so my low expectations at the outset probably contributed to why I thought it was the best documentary I'd ever seen.

We Live In Public follows Josh Harris, one of the most notorious dot-com millionaires in the '90s, before the internet bubble burst. He was doing a lot of work with internet video and TV before many other people had even thought about that possibility. Josh Harris realized many of the ways that internet would change society. Specifically, he predicted that people would do ridiculous stuff just to get famous, and the internet would make that possible because anyone could access anyone else at any time. More broadly, he predicted that with the internet, there will be no privacy, we will all "live in public."

To demonstrate where he thought society was going, Harris set up an experiment in New York city where 100 people volunteered to live in one large room together without leaving. Every thing they did was filmed--there were cameras everywhere, even in the bathroom and showers. What they noticed, among other things, is that cameras give ridiculous behavior a purpose. People act very differently when everyone is watching, and its not a good different.

Here's the kicker: In todays society, with facebook and youtube, everyone IS watching, and people are behaving in ridiculous and terrible ways to get attention. Its a quazi fame people are seeking, and the easiest way to get talked about on the internet is to do something stupid or dangerous. After the movie, the teacher and I discussed how we've seen married couples fight viciously on each other's facebook wall.

Personally, I was embarrassed by watching the movie, because I do it too. I've hitchhiked and lived in a short bus for 2 Maine winters, and I couchsurf and jump off bridges in part so that I can post my exploits on the internet. (smallexploits.blogspot.com)

So my first impulse was to completely get rid of my digital life. But recently I've been thinking that its okay to build an online story for people to enjoy. The important thing is to build a good and meaningful story. This takes more work than doing stupid, dangerous, or pornographic stuff, but its worth it. Thats why this documentary was so awesome, because it changed my whole understanding of my story, and reminded me to be extremely careful about how I craft it. This will fundamentally change how I live and what kind of stories I think are worth documenting.

New blog

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:58:00 +0000

No Theology :) Only Stories

Christian Community without Church

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:03:00 +0000

Maybe the title should read "Your Community is Your Church."

No budgets, no offerings, no buildings, no insurance, no politics.

Meet regularly with those that help you to live more meaningfully, with people who challenge you, and inspire you. Carve out some intentional space to work together on being more loving, to seek wisdom, to pray.

Share your stories. Listen. Serve together. Laugh together. Love and be loved.

Read books, challenge your thinking. Help each other through the hard times, help each other keep perspective.

Try out different churches if you want something to discuss. Or stay completely away from churches. Go camping, hiking, rock climbing.

Church is seeking the most important things in life with others, in community.

Maybe you are doing all this already. The important thing is to be intentional about growth and inspiration. Thats church at its best.

Jesus is still the center of my life.

The Bible is still my favorite book.

Christian community is my real church.

And loving others is more important than ever.

Jesus without Justification

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:41:00 +0000

How does Jesus death change our standing before God? How does the death of the good absolve the guilty? People have given me lots of explanations, but they all seem far fetched, don't they? (If they don't seem so to you, by all means, believe them.) Others say that we just have to accept that it does, even if we don't understand it, because God said so. Maybe He did, but its not clear.

I'm okay with admitting that we don't know how it all works, as long as we're not dogmatic that only Christians will be saved. Because maybe Jesus died to show us ultimate love, and we're meant to follow His example. If the example and teachings of Jesus are compelling, then people who tend to question the magic of justification can still find immense value in Christianity.

Jesus said He is the way the truth and the life, and that no one can come to the father except through Him. He is love, the ultimate truth, the way to live. I believe that. I am a Christian because I believe in the teachings of Jesus and because His story informs my understanding of meaning.

If the life of love that Jesus exemplified through life and death is meant for an example, then those who have had a hard time developing a "personal relationship" with Him can stop guilt tripping themselves into spending more time reading the Bible and praying in order to become His buddy. God will show up in our lives when He wants to, and I believe He does, but not because of some kind of personal piety formula. Maybe God created us primarily for relationships with each other, and it is by serving each other that we serve Him, as Matthew 25 suggests. Then if we don't experience God close we don't have to wonder what's wrong with us, and we won't have to try to convince atheists (who sometimes do a better job of loving than Christians) that their beliefs will damn them. Maybe salvation isn't based on a technicality.

Jesus is still the center of my life.

The Bible is still my favorite book.

Christian community is my real church.

And loving others is more important than ever.

Bible without Infallibility

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:41:00 +0000

People often say, If the Bible is not infallible then what is your standard? You're making yourself your own standard for truth.

First of all, infallibility does not solve the problem, because we all interpret things based on our own upbringing and experiences. Secondly, even if that were not the case, the idea that our standard is either the Bible or ourselves is a false dichotomy. There are other valid external sources that can cross reference the Bible, including our tradition, community, other religions and their texts, and most importantly, God Himself, the Holy Spirit.

God also created us with a conscience, and even though its an internal source, I think its valid to let it weigh in when we question things in the Bible, like genocide.

The Bible is a great book. It is a reliable historic document. It contains narrative that brings meaning to millions, and I'm deeply grateful for it. Infallibility does injustice to the idea of art, and of narrative. We do not ask the painter if what they painted is true, but we ask ourselves if it is beautiful. The Bible is a very beautiful and moving history of ideas about God.

Jesus is still the center of my life.

The Bible is still my favorite book.

Christian community is my real church.

And loving others is more important than ever.

Value in Christianity without Christianity

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:23:00 +0000

I've been having lots of conversations with people who grew up Christians but who are now doing their own thing. I'd say I have a real in depth heart to heart about it with someone at least once a week, often more than that. I find similar themes running through the different stories people are telling. It doesn't scare me that they don't go to church anymore, or they haven't read the Bible in a while. What bothers me is that they tend to see things so black and white.

They mention a few things that bothers them about church or the Bible, (things I agree with) and then conclude by admitting that they just stopped being interested. Stopped attending. Stopped reading. Stopped caring.

I guess I can't blame them. I can't expect them to have the desire to intentionally and earnestly seek for the beauty and value of Christianity when so far in their lives they've found it loud and irrelevant.

But it doesn't have to be so black and white. I'm arguing for a middle way. A way between fundamentalism and agnosticism. It is possible to have an authentic and meaningful Christian experience without holding on to much of what you were taught growing up.

For me, I'm asking the same questions. I've had the same disillusioning experiences. Its what caused me to leave the ministry. But maybe its because I held onto Christianity until so late in life that keeps me searching. That may sound naive, but most people I'm talking with gave it all up in high school, at a time when their critical thinking faculties were not as mature as they are now. They haven't looked back since. If they did, (and its my goal to help them) I think they could find a lot of value in Christianity.

They could find:

Value in Jesus, his compelling example, and his revolutionary teachings.

Without being disillusioned with their inability to build a meaningful personal relationship with him, while being unable to understand the complicated and unlikely magic of how his death supposedly solves the problem of sin.

Value and immense meaning in the Bible, as a historical and literary masterpiece, containing thousands of years worth of different people's views of God, written by people who spent time with Jesus.

Without the contradiction of the love of God with the infallibility of the Bible. Without genocide and the corollary to infallibility that demands that every part of the Bible is equally applicable, valuable, and preachable, as every other part. Without infallibility's demand that God is responsible for some of its despicable material.

Value in Christianity.

Without putting down other religions. Without only Christians being saved. Value in Islam, value in Buddhism.

Value in Christian community.

Without church. Without budgets and bureaucracy. Without obligations and guilt trips. Without lists of complicated and unlikely-to-be-true doctrines. Without opinionated sermons masquerading as God's word for you today. Without expensive buildings and insurance. Without pretentious shows and inauthentic piety. Without petty theological arguments and dysfunctional gossip.

Value in Religion.

Without coercion.

Value in ideas about God.

Without proof.

Value in pursuing the meaning of life that transcends our understanding.

Without arrogance, compulsion, anger, greed, and pretense.

But how? they always ask me, in those conversations. How can you have one without the other?

Thats the topic of my next blog.

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:43:00 +0000

Rock Climbing Gang

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:13:00 +0000

I watched the movie BRA BOYS again, this time with Josh Littel and Travis Pyke. Bra Boys are a surfing gang in Sydney Australia. They are from poor neighborhoods, they get into a lot of trouble, but some of them end up professional surfers.

One neat thing that they do is take at risk kids on surfing trips around Australia. If the kids don't charge the waves, they have to find their own way home.

I guess "gang" is a really negative term. But we're trying to start a rock climbing "club" here in Chattanooga. We want to take kids climbing, hiking, mountain biking, etc., to get them outside and involved with a better community, to teach them skills, and help them fall in love with beautiful Chattanooga.

I was reading a book called "A Framework for Understanding Poverty," and it was saying that poverty is more than a lack of financial resources. Its also a lack of emotional resources and support systems, among other things. The lack of emotional resources tends to prevent them from making good choices in response to crisis. Instead, crisis usually leads to self-defeating behavior like alcohol, drugs, and violence.

The best way for kids in poverty to develop emotional resources is to have caring mentors.

Treetree Rappels After Reaching the Top

Benita is more than halfway up her successful climb to the top

Meemee was the first of the girls to go. She made it all the way!

Thanks to Elisa for her help and the use of her camera. Thanks to Josh Littel and Eric Schnell for equipment and belaying. Hopefully more pictures to come!

Thanks for giving. Sincerely, the IRS.

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:32:00 +0000

Non-profit work with for-profit principles. Thats not a sentence, but I think its a powerful idea.

Its not new, but what if we applied the law of supply and demand to charity? Economics class rocked my world last night.

Charity has existed ever since the caveman caught two rabbits and his buddy caught none. Because maybe next time it will be the other way around. Besides, he kinda likes his neighbor caveman, they've done a lot of stuff together. They've shared the same cave, and the same story, for awhile now.

Government redistribution is based on compulsion. You may not want to help the next guy, but if you don't pay taxes, you'll get a visit from the IRS. I'm not saying thats necessarily a bad thing. Its just not exciting.

You know what is exciting to me? The human story.

Here's the question. Are there incentives that would make people with resources willingly give to someone in need? When do you help others? Most of the time we help our friends and family. Sometimes we help strangers, but we're usually hesitant. What if the stranger takes advantage of us? For us to be willing to help the stranger, we want to hear their story.

For awhile this semester, I've been kind of self-concious about getting an MBA when UTC also has a masters in non-profit administration. I haven't met any other students in my program who want to do non-profit work. Maybe I'm getting the wrong degree?

But last night's economics class changed all that. In the non-profit masters, I'd be learning how to write grants, learning how to get government funding. And I'm sure I'd learn a lot of useful skills. But with the MBA, I'm learning private sector principles.

What makes people want to give? I think the answer is relationships. Relationships are built on the human story. We get together over coffee, we eat a meal together, we hang out after work, and we TALK. But what do we say? We tell each other our stories. Back to supply and demand. What will make you want to give to a stranger? A powerful story. One that helps you relate, that makes you feel like you know them.

I don't want to have anything to do with compulsion. Relationships are the reason I get up in the morning. Story is why I exist.

latest

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:39:00 +0000

I'm talking too much.
I'm meeting new friends.
I went to the best concert ever last night. And it was free.

I'm doing training for work, trying to mentally prepare for the inner city school.
I'm going on a retreat this weekend with a lot of cool new friends.

I'm trying to keep my head above water in Stats and Accounting.
Hoping we can get Zach's store started soon.

I'm in a stellar place right now. Camp removed all depression, and setting up a new life has got my mind off theology, which is really good. Authenticity removes so much conflict from my life!!!

Climbing Life's Mountain

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:21:00 +0000

To claim salvation as the monopoly of any one religion is like claiming that God can be found in this room but not the next, in this attire but not another. Normally, people will follow the path that rises from the plains of their own civilization; those who circle the mountain, trying to bring others around to their paths are not climbing...

It is possible to climb life's mountain from any side, but when the top is reached the trails converge. At base, in the foothills of theology, ritual and organizational structure, the religions are distinct. Differences in history, culture, geography, and collective temperament all make for diverse starting points. Far from being deplorable, this is good; it adds richness to the totality of the human venture. Is life not more interesting for the varied contributions of Confucianists, Taoists, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, and Christians?

"How artistic," writes a contemporary Hindu, "that there should be room for such variety--how rich the texture is, and how much more interesting than if the Almighty had decreed one antiseptically safe, exclusive, orthodox way. Although he is Unity, God finds, it seems, his recreation in variety!"

But beyond these differences, the same goal beckons.

Huston Smith, about Hinduism, in "The World's Religions"

Righteousness by Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 19:08:00 +0000

I'm at Camp Mohaven in Ohio, summer of '04. I'm struggling with purity issues in a relationship that I claim, dysfunctionally, is just a friendship. I'm plagued with guilt, and seeking answers.
Serving God has always been the most important thing to me. Ever since 8th grade I looked for answers in books by good Adventist authors like Philip Samaan, George Knight, Mark Finley, Dwight Nelson and others.

The book in my hands at the moment, as I lay in my bunk bed, is "95 Theses on Righteousness by Faith," by Morris Venden. He's talking about how to be transformed, and I'm all ears. Romans 12. We must be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We renew our minds by spending more time reading the Bible, and less time watching TV.

My takeaway: The more we read the Bible, the more we become like God.

I was ready for this idea. I had heard it in many sermons, read it in other books. But I remember this moment because, more than ever before, I took it to heart. If I prayerfully spend time in the Bible, God will use it to work a radical transformation in me. And so for 6 years I was faithful in daily devotions, usually for 30 minutes, often for an hour or more. I also prayed, and shared my faith.

Sometimes I feel like the Bible didn't come through.
Maybe my expectations were exaggerated.
Maybe the equation, "more time in the Bible = more life transformation" is oversimplified.
Maybe I didn't give it enough time.

Right now I think that "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is more effective at working a transformation in me. On the other hand, I don't regret any of the time I spent in the Bible. It has an effect on me. Who would I be without Isaiah 58 and Matthew 25?
I guess I just thought I'd be further along, so I'm a bit disillusioned. And this doubt has kind of made me doubt other things. So, for an honest confession, I'm still trying to figure out how valuable the Bible is in my life.

But I'm still trying. Right now I'm memorizing Psalms 10.

Hijacking religion in the name of airplanes

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 19:59:00 +0000

Remember when Harold Camping said that Jesus was going to return in May? If I had been one of those who believed it wholeheartedly, I think that would have been one of the happiest people on earth (before May 21, when Jesus didn't come). Seriously, wouldn't life be filled with purpose? Imagine that it was up to you and a few others to save the world. The few, the proud, the worldsavers.

There obviously is something very attractive about exclusive religion. We all want to be the enlightened few that "get it" among the billions of dishonest and deceived.

What's more important than saving the world? My favorite stories are about regular people who risk everything to accomplish something extremely important. I like these stories because, deep down, thats what I want. I think a story about me and a few friends (the protagonists) going against the rest of the world (the antagonists), to save a few from eternal destruction, would be a very compelling story. Especially if it were true. Everyone wants to be Noah.

But this understanding of our role in an eternal narrative, especially one that demonizes other narratives, can be dangerous. In my opinion, 9/11, the crusades, Waco, and other forms of religious violence and extremism result from exaggerated views of our exclusive role in human history. And I think its why Adventists developed a theology that pegs "other Christians" as babylon, and essentially, in league with Satan. Its why some Adventists think that the 144,000 are vegans. I also think its why I have spent so much time and energy in my life trying to convert people to my point of view. Each convert was proof of my eternal importance.

Its already easy to dislike people who are different from us. How much easier is it to do so if we think our eternal salvation depends on it? Its natural to see ourselves as protagonists. What's dangerous is our tendency to see everyone else as antagonists. Thats the arrogant, divisive, often violent attitude that atheists are so quick (and correct) to criticize.

Before you think I'm only cynical, I don't think the desire to be important is bad. Nor do I think that it is always bad for religion. I think the desire to be significant has been the motivation for some of history's most noble accomplishments. They are well documented.

I know that my search for meaning is heavily influenced by my desire to be important. I also know that sometimes this desire has hijacked my religion and caused me to do all sorts of selfish and arrogant things in the name of God.

My search for significance is what also drives me now to humanitarianism, which I profess to be the most important pursuit in my life. I still see myself as a protagonist, out to save the world against all odds. I'm just praying that I'll do a better job of identifying my antagonists. But what should divide us? To me, love is the only absolute, because God is love. I oppose those who hate. Hate is the antagonist, not Muslims, Jews, Catholics or Baptists.

Harold Camping

something I jotted in church today

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 20:13:00 +0000

Shine

Shine

Every life is a shining light.
Some pride in shining bright,
others regret that their light is dim, flickering.
But light is so beautiful and needed in dark places
that the amount of light is overshadowed by the importance of shining,
of expression, of the art of uniqueness.
Whether we exist or not is more fundamental than how much we accomplish.
So smile.
Live.
Shine.

Express yourself! Shine the best you know how,
and if people are more interested in others,
don't care. Don't compare.

Someone needs your light.
And so do you.
You need to shine.
You're gifted, inspired.

Everyday is a new day.
Right now is a new now.
Shine while you have time.
Shine shine shine.
Shine if you're bright or dim.
Shine if you're up or down.
Shine by being real.
By frowning. By crying.
Shine by hurting. Shine by healing. Shine by loving.

Carve out space to be you.
Tell someone you love how you feel.
Shine by being real.
Shine by living. Shine by loving.
Shine by being loved.

Yves

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 30 May 2011 19:55:00 +0000

This is Yves, a friend of mine who was baptized on Sabbath.

Eric and Thierry

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Sun, 29 May 2011 03:14:00 +0000

This is Eric, another good friend of mine who was also baptized today.

Thierry also had something to say.

Why am I leaving Maine? (1 John 3:16-18)

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 16 May 2011 02:49:00 +0000

I thought they would fire me in December when I told them about my very unorthodox theology. But they didn't, and they still say I can stay on, despite the fact that I haven't since changed my views. In fact, my views have become even more unorthodox, on some of the most fundamental fundamentals.

The pastor, the elders, and the board still say they want me to stay on. Before I let the cat out of the bag about all my questions and apostasy, I felt like I was living a double life and dishonestly failing to fulfill my job description. And I was. I was feeling torn apart inside, but I still wore the plastic pastoral smile.

Now they know and still want me to stay on, and I still desperately want to leave, but I find my reasoning harder to articulate. I thought they would want me to leave more than I wanted to leave, but on the contrary, I feel the need to justify my reasons. I would never have guessed that would be the case.

I think church could be way simpler. No conferences, unions, districts, departments, budgets, insurance, property, risk management, Ellen White Estates, publishing houses, TV ministries, public evangelists, quarterlies, church manuals, etc. So much hype, theatrics, hot air, much ado about nothing.

Instead, how about 2-10 friends getting together and praying for each other and sharing life? Thats church.

How did pastoring ever become a profession? How did church ever become a business with buildings and presidents, bills, hierarchy, rules, and hoopla upon teetering towers of red tape hoopla?

Bureaucracy=Gross!

Thats one reason. I'm fed up with all the ridiculous hoopla. But I'm not out do destroy the structure. I wouldn't waste my youth on that. God bless those treasurers, and risk management red tapers, and bureaucratic number crunchers, and car salesman-esque evangelists.

Its just not for me.

Reason number 2 is that I'm lonely. No community. I'm in the midst of millions of church people, and church events, and church language, and church visioning, and church gossip, and church finances, and church hierarchy, and church everything. But community? I'm on a deserted island. The feeling of isolation is tangible, and I'm depressed for the first time in my life. I'm being strangled, and I have to escape to breath.

The next reason is that I don't know how to get to heaven. I'm not sure its that important. I don't know how to tell people how to get there, and its no longer my mission to show the way. People can go to church or not go to church. They can be Christian or Muslim. They can go to church on Sabbath or Sunday. They can believe whatever they want about the technicalities of religious dogma, and it won't make a difference to me. Because frankly, all of it has become a distraction. We're so "RIGHT" about our religion, and our politics, and our culture, and our worldview, and everyone else is so wrong, that, well, they can listen up or they can go to hell.

People need love, not theology. They need community, not "church." They need God, not theology. Girls are being forced to be prostitutes. People are dying because there's not enough clean water. People in some countries are starving to death while people in other countries spend $20 billion annually on ice cream. 1 John 3:16-18

God is love. Right now, the only thing that matters to me is loving those who are in need. Helping people. Accepting people, not converting them. Loving people, not correcting their theology. I'm fully convinced that its God's will for me to do everything I can to alleviate suffering in this world. To fight injustice. To speak kind words to someone who has only been abused. To provide clean water to someone who is dying for lack of it. To show pure, safe love to someone who has only known lust and rape.

To hell with me if I'm missing something. I know my mission, and I'll give my life for it.

God told me you are wrong, part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 04:32:00 +0000

There is a difference between being fully convinced and being right. Being right is too much to ask for, but being fully convinced brings meaning to life, gives it purpose, and forms my identity. I want to be willing to die for what I am fully convinced of, but humility demands that I can never know absolutely if I am right.

Some feel that if absolute truth is inaccessible, then we are left to despair. I say no. We MUST be fully convinced of things, and stand for something. But we can also respect the stands others take. We can't both be right, but we can both be honest.

EEEnFFFp

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 02:02:00 +0000

I'm depressed.

Loneliness is sapping my energy.

Nothing seems worth the effort.

Its an ache, a longing, a desperation.

It feels chronic.

Like anger, but cooler.

Like sadness, but slower.

It feels like frustration, with no explanation.

There's a ton of things I know I could do, that I know I should do.

A whole list that I need to get done.

But if I could just talk with a friend, things would be okay.

If I could go do something with someone,

if we could just talk.

If I could just be myself, and they understood.

If we could get excited about idea.

If we could plan things.

If we could smile and laugh, because we're connecting.

But there's no one.

No one who has time.

No one who isn't preoccupied.

No one who needs me, like I need them.

And so I sit here, wondering what to do,

aching, needing love. wanting love.

I'm never depressed.

I'm always happy.

Thats why all this is tough to admit.

Josh

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 16:18:00 +0000

“So the Lord gave Israel all the land He had sworn to give their forefathers, and they took possession of it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as He had sworn to their forefathers. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord handed all their enemies over to them. Not one of the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.” Joshua 21:43-45

The book of Joshua makes me angry. Yeah, its probably because I'm too immature or narrow minded or whatever, but all the killing seems cruel and seems to reflect badly on God. But this verse is a gem, shining out from the ashes of Caanan's destroyed cities.

This has been my experience with God. God has fulfilled all of His good promises to me. None have failed. Thats true for me. God is good, and to realize that deeply and personally brings me much joy and peace.

6 Steps to Traditionalism

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 14:43:00 +0000

1. We read the Bible.

2. We confront a current issue and we make a decision about an issue -- like baptizing infants or adults -- or we frame "what we believe" into a confession, a creed, or a doctrinal statement.

3. We fossilize our decision and it becomes a tradition. (Somewhere around here we become absolutely convinced our tradition is a perfect interpretation of the Bible.)

4. We are bound to our tradition forever. (It is now traditionalism.)

5. We are bound to read the Bible through our tradition. (Somewhere around here we become convinced that God's Spirit led us to our tradition and that it is nothing less than an accurate, God-prompted, don't-question-it unfolding in history of what God's word says.)

6. Those who question our tradition are suspect or, worse yet, kicked out of our church. (Somewhere around here we become ineffective in our world and become increasingly cantankerous about how the youth are wandering away from the faith.)

From Scot McKnight's "A Blue Parakeet" in a section where he describes two extreme ways of reading the Bible. One is to make it say whatever you want, the other is to accept whatever tradition says.

I went to a Sufi Zikr last Saturday night

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 04:02:00 +0000

Sufism is an ancient mystical Islamic path. The Zikr was very different from anything I've experienced. Its kind of like the video at the bottom of this post but different in several ways:

We were all Americans. We didn't have cool robes and headbands and stuff, we were dressed normal, and we were in someone's house. But the songs and actions were similar, except we did a wider variety of stuff than is featured in the video. We did repeat "la ilaha illallah" hundreds of times though.
La ilaha illalla means there is no god but Allah. Allah is the Arabic word for God. Christians is Arabic speaking countries also use the word Allah for God.

I've been taught to avoid mysticism, that its wrong. That might be true, I don't know. All I can say is, even though I had never experienced mysticism, it didn't feel new. It altered my consciousness similarly to how certain songs do, or how driving by myself on a long trip does. The constant drone of the wheels on the pavement and the way my thoughts wander anywhere is like mysticism. And there are other examples. The eye opening thing was to realize that mysticism is everywhere in everyday experiences, its just that mystics are those that do it intentionally.

I got really tired of kneeling and had to sit on a nearby couch some of the time while I chanted and sang. It took me about halfway through before I could pronounce la ilaha illallah like the others in the circle. I don't think I connected to God or anything, but I did come to some random conclusions, like I should run the 10 mile race I signed up for even though I haven't trained for it. I was awake, but sometimes it felt like sleep.

I don't know if I'll go again, but I just don't think we can categorically dismiss mysticism as evil, nor accept it as completely good.

(The video is probably not worth watching all the way through, as you will see).

Crisis Solved

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 17:19:00 +0000

For the few of you who have not long since tired of this discussion about genocide, existential crisis, the authority of the Bible etc., here are two articles that helped me.

How can the Bible be Authoritative? by N.T. Wright

Good Question... by Glen Miller

God is good. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

`ben

God told me you are wrong.

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Schnell) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 20:43:00 +0000

The Bible doesn't explain how to interpret itself. But the criteria that we use to interpret the Bible has a huge impact on how we understand it. And its hard to be consistent.

Some people demand that the whole bit about women not speaking in church is cultural and therefore inapplicable, while insisting that teachings about divorce are literal. But what criteria distinguishes them? Some people say its obvious that the Bible is against homosexuality, while others waive it off as obscure and therefore unimportant. And those who argue that the instructions about homosexuality are unmistakeable can use the "obscure" argument to waive off genocide in the Old Testament. Suddenly "infallibility" isn't enough. There are many opposite conclusions we can come to, even starting on the foundation that scripture is, in some sense, authoritative.

Mark Twain said "It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."

When one person wants to convince someone that a particular passage should be interpreted a certain way, to what authority can they turn for back up? Is it possible that our criteria itself becomes more authoritative than the Bible? And since God didn't write a "how to use this book" section in the introduction, we are kind of lost aren't we?

Well, of course, we have to depend on the Holy Spirit.

There is one really annoying thing about that though. Its so subjective. We can claim that the Holy Spirit told us anything! And if we're honest, hearing what God is specifically telling us can be murky, unless thats just my experience.

So if I say I believe that God didn't really tell the Israelites to carry out genocide, that they came up with the idea themselves and claimed God for it, then you can disagree, and hec, you might be right! But what authority do you have to say that the way I'm interpreting the passage is "illegal?" I can just as easily say that your way is illegal!

In the end, we must make decisions about what we believe God is telling us in the Bible. But there is a frustrating lack of the big "P" word: PROOF.

The final authority belongs with God. And we should pray, read, and study, and then make the decision that will help us live the most beautiful way, seeking to be guided by the Holy Spirit. So if someone sees it differently, we can trust the Holy Spirit in them. Evangelism changes from compulsion by weight of evidence to an invitation to a mysterious experience.

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