The Abandoned Rainbow

D.E.D.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.

2012-02-08T06:21:00.000-08:00

You are My Love, My Hope, My Help,
The Passion that is me,
The whole of which I am a part,
My Peace, My Ecstasy.

You are My Future, Present, Past,
My Ship, My Sail, My Ocean,
The wind that brings me home again,
The home for every motion.

You live within me,
Yet I am
Without you all alone,
With you I am full of light,
Without you I am a Stone.

Is this Foolish?

Yes, perhaps,

But also it is true

I think of life as something,

I can spend only with you.

Ah My Love!

Love longs for such sweet celebrants

At this!

Love is a burden

and a joy, slavery and bliss.

On this day

Come live with me,

and I will love you,

My life long, My Love,

Will Love you my life Long!

Killing ME!

2012-01-02T05:58:00.000-08:00

Pain fills my face when I see you

I loved you, but I said go away

Everything we had,It was true

Truth is,I wanted our love to stay

Your blue eyes glared through me
I always wanted to be right there
Next to you, can't you see
All I did wrong was care

My tears melt through this page
And hit right at my heart
I instantly become enraged
When ever we have to depart

Poison hearts will never heal
But mine isn't poison, it is torn
Because our love was all real
All I can do now is mourn

You never let me, have a chance
You just looked and gave me a smile
Even when I asked you, to come and dance
Instead, we just sat and spoke for awhile

The love I feel is beautiful and true
You say you’re the victim, can't you see
How can I ever show you?
It is hurting you, but it is killing me!!

A Flower's Journey!

2011-12-26T04:01:00.000-08:00

You ask if I will miss you?

If I shall reminisce?

Within this poem is the answer

For I do promise this..

Whenever near the water,

Underneath a pink sunset.

I shall perform this duty,

To prove I won't forget..

I will pick a wild flower,

Covered with evening dew..

Place it on the water,

And send it off to you..

So that God will guide it,

As it drifts toward the sea.

I will bless it on its journey,

With words of poetry..

It will cover endless miles,

Over countless brooks and streams.

To serve as a reminder,

That you're always in my dreams..

I will send it on this journey,

To fulfill one fantasy.

That if ever you do find it,

You will think of me..

So late some summer's evening

As you're walking on the beach.

If a crashing wave beside you,

Places a flower within your reach..

Know it is a token,

That rests there at your feet.

Proof of love unbroken,

Its journey now complete..

BACK in TIME!!

2011-12-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

I think back in time,

Where we had fun.

I thought it was our time,

But I still don't know.

I think of you,

All day long.

I love you,

Do you love me too?

I don't think so,

But I do hope!

I hoped you would never go,

But you did.

Loved it,

Your smile,

Your looks,

Your hair.

I would even walk a mile

Just to find you standing there.

I'm thinking of you,

I really love you!

Feelings For You!

2011-12-24T09:17:00.001-08:00

Every time I'm with you,

there’s a constant smile on my face.

The piece missing from my heart,

you have somehow replaced.

You know that I care about you,

but you don't know how much.

I find myself falling in love,with someone

I feel I can trustI love it when you hold me,

and look into my eyes.

I love to feel your body,

when it's pressed against mine.

I constantly have butterflies in my stomach,

And I can hardly speak;

My heart is always pounding so fast,

And my knees feel so weak.

Even though I do not know much,

I think that I have finally found,

The one who I will always be with

Till god puts me into the ground.

I want to tell you this,

how I really feel.

But I find it hard to admit,

that this is all so real.

The love that we share now

Will being holding our future together.

I wanted to let you know first in hand

That I’m making big, big plans.

All it involves is me and you,

And it all started when you made me

Fall in love with you.

YOU MADE ME LIVE!

2011-12-18T05:05:00.000-08:00

..Life was just a thing to pass

Like hour and day that shall end
Existing alone, yes I was
That was before you came!! :-(

Like wind from the south..
You have touched my heart!!
..Then the stars have shone
Gone are the nights of gloom

..In my world that I have made
Where I used to cry and hide..
Suddenly a breath of fresh air
Aroma of dead stone vanished!!

World that I so despise
Finally, light upon my sight
Beings that I so detest
Someone different I have met!!

You, who is so selfless,
Showed me another world!!
A world of hope and aspirations
A place I never knew existed!!

You seem so tired yourself

Battles of life you have fought
Yet you find it in your heart
to care and showed my worth

...I have never live though I existed
I used to believe that there is none
Beyond the walls I have made...
But you’ve open my eyes, held my hand

..All my life, only way I have known
Is that everything and everyone
shall go into the gate of oblivion
You showed me other doors to open..

I was astray, always been alone..
Then we’ve met, you took me home
In your fragile heart, gave me a room
Then I began to live, born again..

..You thought me how to fly
Conquered all the fears inside

You thought me how to climb..

Even the highest of mountains

..I am on my way to greatness
So be the there, be my witness
Because if you let go and leave:-((
I shall fall, so don’t let me bereave

You are a part of all my dreams
The reason I decided to go on
Be gone and I shall be undone
So promise, you’ll forever hold my hand!!

L.O.S.T.

2011-12-06T09:47:00.001-08:00

..Here feeling so down

Knowing you won't be around ..

..In the rain all alone

Facing the world on my own ..

..I pushed you away

But I wanted you to stay ...

...Now I'm here all by myself

Because now you're with someone else....

..A girl here with a broken heart

Been crying since the day we part ..

...Boy, I didn't want you to go

I just want you to know ...

...I still hear you in my dreams saying

YOU love me

I still feel your hands entwined with mine ...

...I miss when we were together everything was fine.

I look at our picture and cry myself to sleep ...

...My tears so sad they also weep

I still listen to our song ...

.....Reminds me of the times we were strong

My heart feels so sad and blue ..

I hate myself for losing you...

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

♥ Amistad to Amor ♥

2011-10-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

"‎...I can't completely let

go of you.

or Let it go of us...

...All I can say is

'I love you'

more than I can say

I know you don't want

to hear it ...

... But it makes no sense

to pretend I don't!

I miss you with all of

me...

...Things get easier

But will never with you...

...Its not like that,

I want u with me

every-time But...

...Its just I don’t want

anyone

else to have you for a

second ... !!

...May be I will cry less

day by day

But the pain still lives

there...

...The love we shared

and gave to each-other

Will always remain in my

heart forever...."

♥

Missing Someone!

2011-10-24T04:36:00.000-07:00

Someone!

Its been time since I've scratched my head, twitched my muscles and shook my brains to pen down something. Reasons were as always Simple and Silly.

Firstly, being in a college with the poorest of poor net connectivity is like living in Tihaad Jail. The administrators have just one emotion always regarding the amendments in JECRC Wi-Fi network, that is, blurting out a variant combination of words which are par above the reach of understanding and then at last quoting a statement,"Aage baat chal rahi hai! Do-teen din main ho jayega!"

Secondly,I was occupied.

I personally feel that as soon as I step into the college after a tiring bus/train journey of 10 hours, all the recent happenings and stories, build-ups and break-ups, fights and sights (of beauties, of course) with blessings and curses fall on my head. Not only these, with my first step into the esteemed gates of my Knowledge-house, even lectures and laboratory assignments fall onto me as if I am the only employee handling entire Google traffic on a Sunday.

These happenings, this time, were accompanied with a major political and half-romantic public-cum-private issue (Not To Be Discussed), which screeched to a sudden halt in my as well as my companions lives. But, I was neither extremely tensed nor felt a major setback cause me and my other two room-mates had a pre-thought of such a certain event to happen with a probability of 1.

This was the backdrop of issue in my life. But, despite of the intense shock and trauma, I always had a Someone to make my life simpler and sillier everyday. That Someone would always have a talk with me, my sense and my deep inside hidden thoughts. Someone with whom I had all the leisure as well as pleasure time. Insane fights turning to intense quarrels making me separate to my Someone everyday. But as the night passed everyday, and a jubilant morning spread ed its visage, I would Re-find Someone in me. I may shout, I may like, I may sit and chatter on till infinity, I may force my insane and idiotic psychologies, I may even at times abuse, I may even wake up Someone at the gong of midnight (which in college usually is around 0300 hours), and despite these complications and complex network of truly rubbish facts, Someone was always there to listen. No words from Someone, no retreats back on even being right and true. We may quarrel or even attempt to kill each other (which mostly i did), but even then we had a PERFECT WORLD of our own.

Why, today, am i weeping so much?

Cause, today, even if I shed tears and cry or yell or even burst out, there is No Reply from Someone!

SOMEONE is gone forever, into the lost strands of time where even time travel would not get It back for me. I may be wrong in my behavior towards It. But, today, through my Blog Card 4, I would like to say to Someone that,

You may sit and watch me cry,

knowing the pain I am in,

I am unable to show emotions,

until the endless tears begin.

A piece of me is dying,

and lying on the floor.

The dreams I had are over

and can only be no more.

If sadness shown up like beauty,

I'd be brighter than the sun,

gazed upon by wondering eyes

and till the end loved by Someone!

I am Sorry!

Missing Someone!

:-(:-(

BLANK

2011-10-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you are stuck in a situation where you've got trillions of words to say but not a single to jot down. I, presently, feel my selves to be stuck in a similar unavoidable and regenerative passage of time where I've got a bunch of raw Data to speak about and also a device to display its Output (The Abandoned Rainbow) but no Central Processing Unit to Process the data to meaningful Information.

This simply means:-

"The Computer of my life is Hacked and in other simpler words Zindgi Jhand Hai!"

Now to draw you attention, I wrote the word HACKED in above line instead of Crashed cause the interference of some bugs has considerately increased in past few days of my life! And the other emphasizing fact behind the word is that you get hacked only when you do a bit of Karastani.

Re visiting the stranger tides of time, I recall that my mom's quote every now and then when I ran into her lap hiding and saving my selves from a heap of monstrous problems, in order that she, being my mom, would always support me even when I am wrong.

"Beta! Mere laal! Tu aise muh mat chipa. Tu bhi koi dhudh ka dhula nhi hai!"

So,holding hands with some of the Karastani's and bugs, lets roll onto the Blog 3 of my life.

Before an start, my mind just clicked a few lines of Enrique's best:-

"Maybe you were right

But baby I was lonely

I don't want to fight

I'm tired of being sorry."

Sorry, I didn't do this!
Sorry, that was not my fault!
Sorry, I won't repeat it!
Sorry, it wasn't me!
Sorry, I didn't mean it!

My life has turned into a sorry-cum-begging job now-a-days. I keep on committing mistakes, and plea for a sorry and then again, few more mistakes. It often happens that often while having a chai with one of my beloved friend, he exclaims that "Raghu! You are a magnet to mistakes." And to which whenever I ponder back in free time and feel that he's absolutely right. Some xyz problem related with some abc person has to have a set of problem associated with me and to which I respond in a way making another set of distinguished errors and then I come up with no solution except one word and that is SORRY!

I guess as many sets of sorry I would have spoken, listening to that even Mahatma Gandhi would have said that, "One should forgive everyone, except Mr. Raghvendra Singh Rao!"

Along with being "So Sorry", I've another featured quality in me which has recently developed and that is temper. I am too short- tempered. This quality rocketed along with my age and I foresee it that in near future if i didn't had a stick on it, it will reach uncontrollable heights. Presently, in my college, I've had up a stranded relation with almost everyone once in a while cause of my ill-tempered nature. I presume that its kind of out of frustration or due to unsatisfied nature of me. Its a human nature thing to me.

I've trying to work on reducing the sorry and anger part separately but as soon as I am stuck in a problem where i get angry and with that even I have to be sorry, I blurt out loads of uncensored data which drives the close one away. I've seen many of my friends who preferred to stay cause of of this simple silly reasons.

So dear friends and even the two most beautiful sisters who would surely read this blog page, I, Raghvendra, say that I am trying pretty hard to work things out. But still to those many people who have had troubles cause of me, I celebrate with them my own discovered week of forgiveness. I am particularly sorry to everyone with whom I might have quarreled in this so small span of my life.:-))

And since, I still have to live much of it I'll try to have peaceful relations amongst us!

Hopefully you people out there forgive me.

Bbye! Cya!

Love you!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2011-10-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

Friends! The First, and I guess most important word, which I think of every consecutive day of my life. Everyday with the shower of first sunlight on my bed, (This happens around 9.30 in morning), I just wake up and really one question startles me, "Is there someone in loo?" And then, when I turn around my head I find that my other three super awesome stud roomies have gone to attend their lectures. A sign of relief appears on my face then, but there is no one to see that!

This is daily routine. But the reason I am sharing all this is because with the very beginning of the day I travel across the threads of time and make a one-moment journey from year 2009 to present day. How complicated life has grown or is it still wonderful is beyond my understanding now-a-days.

To run away from this in-explainable scene, I write this BLOG 2 of mine.

Retracing the footprints on sands of time, I would like to say there was really a world LIFE associated with me at the end of 12th grade, strictly due to following reason.

The only, the most lovely, and the most accountable reason was MAHOOL. This word can have infinite meanings.

"Subah school mein masti marna, classes bunk krna, chutti k time pohe ya vada paav khane jana, ek-ek paise k liye marna, ghar aana, do-teen chapati kha k ghode bech k so jana, fir ring-ring krke 4:30 bje uthna, Cambridge k liye taiyyar hona, 3 gante coaching pe bakar marna, break time main Shastri Sweets ko lutna, ya class mein plane bna k udana, 8 bje class off hoke "EK PYARI SI DUNIYA MEIN CHALE JANA", fir dosto ka aana,unka chillana k abey ghar nhi jana kya? (Yeh wala dialogue specially is credited to my one of the dearest friends of all time, Sandeep Jain). Fir via FS hote hue, no doubt making remark on each and every beauty which crossed us on our way back, I reached home sweet home. And since I never liked horses so unko bechta or fir so jata."

Yhi zindgi thi tab or main khush tha. I WAS REALLY HAPPY!!

But today life has completely changed, only the memories remain, occupying every bit of my heart and brain. Sometimes a tear rolls down, and asks me, "why couldn't I help myselves?"

"---BLANK---" is my reaction.

I had big plans for writing this post. But, lack of time and as well no net connectivity has restricted my words. And to be honest I am very much afraid to hurt a few beautiful hearts. I shall soon write back on this post.

To be continued....

Have a nice time!

Cheers!

2011-09-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

The Customary Indian Welcome Blog Post

With the melodious voice of Atif in Jalpari, I begin writing my blog. But before that I wish to say that writing has never been my passion nor its my wish that I begin writing and someday I ll be the top most blogger among my friends. I ve started it specifically keeping two reasons in mind.

First and foremost, and a bit hilarious too, is that my mom (like every other mom in this world) believes on ASTROLOGERS and one such highly knowledgeable man, studying what unusual pattern of stars, predicted to my mom that I be a writer. Since then, i have applied my mind like three thousand two hundred and twenty seven times on thinking that I start writing a novel. But , unfortunately till now I haven't written a single page moral story.

Second reason behind my blogging is that it is COOL. And being in a 14th grade student who doesn't wants his/her friends, roomies, batch mates and everyone whose associated with him/her in campus to curl around him/her doing the most coolest stuff.

So with these most weirdest thoughts in my mind I, on this auspicious occasion, would like to congratulate myself (as our school Director used to begin every thanks giving speech) for this courageous and the most funniest step of my life.

Hopefully, I d meet many new faces over here who would enhance my blogging activity and help me to rectify my posts.

This brings an end to my welcome note to everyone out here.

Hope you find my posts intresting. Till then

Bbye. Cya Friends!!