second opinion

This is the way to know when the separation is the solution

2011-09-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

"I left him." Opened container, social work, the morning. "Good morning to you too" I replied. She ignored what I said had not heard and said it was over. The smile on her face betrayed me and I asked if that pleases her. To my surprise she replied "I just got it, that's not what it was." The reason her words surprised me was that a few days it seemed she was in the clouds, we add to that the fact that they were together only two months and we get quite a surprising picture. It was not long before I realized what a group of experienced separation separations among container. When I told her she appeared in the clouds a few days ago she replied, "Exactly, that's the problem! It's all so ordinary, boring". Michal said that humor is easy, but I'm not sure how she understood the meaning of what she said. Falling in love is an emotion, but a full set of emotions. Actually falling in love is the most complex emotion system our minds. Falling in love is created that requires Hmonal to exist and we must supply her needs, not numbered, and sometimes a bit illogical to leave it.

Many times that we feel that the relationship had run its course, that the click was, no fireworks, it was not the same. Sometimes that feeling is correct and it is time to renew, but sometimes it is the failure of the couple feeding, growth and correct development of their love and infatuation. In the case of container can point to the separation was done that "failure" like that. A two-month relationship is a relationship obsolete and exhausted itself. Is a relationship whose owners have neglected her and let her fade to a state of abandonment. Involved the couple to excite each other and feed the emotions of this.According to what we were taught evolution Htaichoti is challenging, hard to get and then the expression "playing hard to get". Play hard to get this thing known mating games do, but our mistake is thinking the game was stopped as soon as we are as a couple. It really never stops, we must continue to challenge each other to keep the love, the relationship, the passion.

When we feel at a Zogyno that already have achieved it and it our all of our evolutionary brain decides to just drop in on too easy a target and we can get something better. This is why we run away from relationships of dependence or obsessive. The goal is to challenge, to make our fair son feel like he captures our hearts every day. This gives us a sense of return to the daily increases our self confidence, while white Zogyno the feeling that every day he manages to capture us again, touch us and bring us closer.

Love is a game that contains two players who play on the same side. If they lose then win then lose if they win. We love playing against each other when both of us a common goal we want to achieve but only together. War never get the other not over, and every day in the evening, in the bedroom, we see the day ends in victory for us.

When ex can not go on

2011-09-25T10:23:00.001-07:00

I received quite a few phones style "You gotta help me! You do not understand what I'm going through! I left him. It's been two months. He just does not stop. He sends me SMS messages about how I was mean, he's calling and cursing me, he even talked to someone leaving with him and told him I hurt him and he'd better not go out with me ".Separating injured men is a common occurrence and I'm sure most readers here know the phenomenon. Quite a few girls coming into this awful vortex of a man who can not get better separation. Sometimes the men themselves are the ones who initiate the separation, but when they do so with regret and pain, they can still be very difficult even Maxim.

So why is this happening?
Like I said before it is situations where the man comes out very damaged relationship.For men with low self-esteem or inflated egos. They will not accept the fact that the relationship was over, they would like to continue, but all sorts of reasons see it not happen. They change the positive attention she got from the couple negative attention, attention of fear, vulnerability, pain and sadness. Usually the pain of separation is replaced by their anger and need for revenge that she hung up contacts with them. The fact that control over their lost partner more difficult to control than they tax it in different ways. This is usually men who are trying to fill the gap of lack of confidence in their control. Controlling everything about them. On their partner, they feel the need to control more than anything else. To them if it did not dominate, they will lose it. These men are usually very zealous in the relationship, the woman is forbidden to all sorts of things and sometimes even ties with some friends. All these men happen to most difficult insecurity comes from the feeling that they can at any moment lose their partner.

Okay, and how to handle it?
Lhlkcn it would be easier and Lhlkichn that would be difficult but the way she played it so do not care. Those men feed your fear, your vulnerability and your insult. If you see them no matter what he does, it just does not move so he realizes he must move on and he's wasting his time. It's not going to be magic and the moment you act as if it does not move so it will go away. It will take time and even more difficult will be slow. When he sees no move so he tries harder, he would try to sensitive areas. He tries to tell you the things that most hurt Well. This does not mean he really think so, absolutely not. It just means that he begins to despair and take all the weapons he has. Some things are very rough, so you can stand it. If you have to cry it's okay, but with a good friend and not him.Opposite will be the most powerful that you can. When he tries to hit well in every way possible and understand that this is not going to move on.

If you are in a difficult situation, you do not know what to do, Nissitn everything it did not work - You're welcome to write me a response here or contact me personally by email.I'll do what I can to help you in this simple non.

Thanks to all readers. Love? Please send comment and tell me about it! =]

To solve conflicts with our spouse

2011-09-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

Israblog blogger published poem:

"The reason why I can not stay
I had to let you go
After what you did
I can not stay ...
And perhaps I'll feel much better ignored ...

Much time you made me believe
Your love all mine Forever
Tent did not know it was all a sham
And perhaps I'll feel much better ignored

I must say it did not like it used to
And I'm not going to play your games more
After what you did, I can not stay.
And perhaps I'll feel much better ignored ...."

Disputes with our partners is common, especially as this is a healthy relationship. We maybe a little less but parity and intrigue fueled fights. The reason is simple, briefly blocking the possibility that your spouse looks for granted, or forget that he has preferences and principles. In any conflict it is important that both sides will clarify their position and what ails them. The real problem these conflicts is that we are tempted too fast to even get a voice lifts stinging phrases that contribute to resolving the conflict but only hits him. So how is it possible to fight and restrained on the one hand, and on the other side also put our position very well and achieve maximum understanding of our spouse? Actually thought the two things contradict each other is a myth. Sad thing is that we live by this myth and thereby wearing out our relationship. Move your position horizontally spouse and no sound levels is the most efficient way to transfer information so that they understand and accept it. When we raise the voice or blame our mate he will naturally and legitimately defensive position. Defensive position he can not at all understanding us. I will ask you the next time you take blame as in "You're the one who makes it all the time, how can you complain about the time I did this?" Or similar sentences to remember things I was saying, so he immediately went into a defensive position and could never really listen or try to understand what you said.

Taking possible conflict:
"It was three in the morning. I wanted to sit down for dinner both at last. I asked a thousand times not to come out until hours later so!"
- "What? It's not that late. Besides, you go out many times late .."
"But I asked you to come back earlier because I miss a meal together."
- "What can I do you're coming back so late from work?"
"I do not believe you said that! I need to bring money so we can keep the apartment, we can sleep at night without worries, and we could have dinner together!"

The conversation quickly came to both blame each other in myriad ways, very quickly the conversation turned to topics that included not related to why the conversation began in the first place. I stopped the fight at a very initial but we can already imagine where it could get. We can easily see this fight will be different issues such as membership of the woman or the man's boss and normal non-work hours his ". It can also go to the economic situation and who to blame. Both partners in this situation had gone defensive position rather than trying to even understand each other, the only thing they want is to get as many other bad so they come out as good as possible. Needless to say it was a bid to fail because none of them is not going to give up.

Let's see another call, this time the man has undergone a process of true understanding of conflicts:
"I waited for you. I wanted to have dinner. For a long time we did not eat together."
- "I'm tired, maybe tomorrow."
"I asked you not to leave until so late. I understand you're with friends, and hard to leave in the middle because it's fun. I have that happen, it happens to everybody. I appreciate your effort, but really important to me tomorrow night so we can sit at eleven dinner. "
- "But I can not stay awake at home and wait for you get at eleven."
"I know, but I made the effort for you and I waited until 3 ... I believe you could make an effort to wait for me till eleven, right?"
- "I'll try, wake me if I fall asleep."

Sounds that tomorrow they really eat a nice dinner together, and the night was over not too bad compared to the conflict we have seen before. What has changed is that the man did not blame the woman, but only the city the attention his plight and how concerned he is eating her dinner. When he says that this way is impossible not to make an effort for him, I'm wrong?

The idea is to position the point where you talk about your plight and what bothers you while understanding that the partner is not responsible for this distress. It is something you and your partner have the ability to help. One thing that helps me much personal relationship conflicts that thought is another body alive and well. I believe I am a daughter of the relationship my wife is not alone. This is a system of three bodies - I, my partner and relationship. Relationship needs, is really producing a daughter my wife my life I have created the moment we met. Now we must be attentive to her needs and provide it with them together. Hardship that we are in a relationship, couples are not only crying and suggests that she needs something. How can I go to my partner and accuse her of something? When our month-old child cries when he needs food, we blame each other? No, we care about together to eat something. When one of us felt that something was wrong in relationships had to report it to your partner so that they both think together how to deal with the plight of their relationship, to stop crying. Every need and every matter in dispute and quarrel both partners have the party. The complainant has the responsibility of party conflict, is not the victim or spouse. The only victim in this conflict relationship, and the couple take note and take care of her.

Good luck to us all. :)