I think it’s great when I get friends asking me questions, and I go into some detail to answer their question, and what happens? I get a blog post from it!

Question: regarding your ‘Dominant/submission’ interest, why do you feel the need to control women?

Answer: I don’t feel the need to control women. That’s not what ‘dominance’ is about. Instead, I feel the need to just be the dominant partner in a relationship.

I might need to explain the difference between dominance and control… The difference between a dominant man and a controlling man is whether or not he cares about consent. Consent to dominance must be given by the submissive. She must want to be dominated by him as much as he wants her to submit to him.

Control does not require consent, and a controlling partner is likely to be an abusive partner, while a dominant partner is more likely to be a loving partner.

Being the dominant part of a Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship carries significant responsibility. If you’re the Dom, your submissive partner is giving themselves to you, and you choose to become responsible for their mental and physical wellbeing within the dynamics of the relationship that you both agree to participate in. Rules and behaviours expected from each member are established through extensive communication, and the responsibility of mutual care is far more important than most ‘vanilla’ (non-BDSM) relationships.

A Dominant (Dom) partner agrees and commits to the responsibility their submissive partner gives to them. They have as much ‘control’ as the sub lets them have, but the sub wants the Dom to push their limits, to be challenged. The dynamics of such D/s relationships are concerned with growth and mutual happiness, but attains this with methods that are usually completely different to ‘vanilla’ relationships.

Even in the so-called ‘vanilla’ relationships, people always practice dominance and submission. Two people having sex can not be on top at the same time. One is on top, one is on the bottom. One is dominating the experience, the other is submitting, and occasionally (or often) they switch places. (These terms are also common within BDSM: tops, bottoms and switches.)

Most vanilla relationships establish some form of dominance/submission pattern within the bedroom, while either engaging in equality outside the bedroom, or even being the opposite of who they are in the bedroom. For example, one partner might be submissive in the bedroom, but is the dominant member of the household (think about who ‘wears the pants’ in your relationship, and they’re the dominant partner). Or they’re submissive to their partner in the bedroom, while being the CEO of a large company.

Dominance and submission is a natural part of life. The BDSM lifestyle takes what many ‘vanilla’ people hide and keep secret, and instead lives it openly. Where most people are embarrassed to say “I’m dominant” or “I’m submissive” because of social taboos about dominance and submission, people in the BDSM lifestyle say “Frack you, I’ll be whatever the hell I want to be!”

What’s really interesting for me is that I’ve always been saying to people they should live their own life, do what they want to do, follow their heart, stop listening to others, and stop listening to what society tells them they should do. And yet I’ve been choosing to get involved in relationships that are what society tells me they should be. My practices have been inconsistent with my teachings.

When people start following their heart, they start moving away from the restrictions of a taboo-based society, and more into the path of what their true nature really is. When they listen to their heart, their authentic life starts to become available to them.

There is freedom in living how you feel is most natural for you, and there is slavery in allowing a society to dictate who you should be, and what you should be doing.

Consider exploring how you can follow your heart. I can guarantee you that it will change your life.

I used to have glasses

Back when I was 13 or 14 I had to get glasses. The school did an eye test, and I was found wanting. So off to an eye specialist I went, who prescribed glasses for me.  He told me I had to wear them until I was 18, and then he’d test my eyes again to see how they were doing.

I wore those glasses for about 2-3 months then just stopped wearing them. I decided that I didn’t need them, and that was the end of it.  When I was 18, I had to go to that eye specialist though, and he did another examination.  My eyesight had improved, and he told me that was because of the glasses – it was a good thing that I’d been wearing them for the previous 5 years, he said, otherwise they’d be a lot worse.

I didn’t have the courage at the time to tell him the truth, that my eyes had gotten better without the help of the glasses.  I just accepted it at the time that things could get better without needing aids.

Looks like I might need glasses again

I’m 43 years old now, and my eyes have been fine for the past 30 years (since I was originally diagnosed as needing glasses). No eye strain, no issues, nothing.  Until recently…

I’ve been noticing that focusing on distant objects is becoming a little strained. I don’t mean I strain my eyes, I mean that I can notice the act of focusing, instead of it being an automatic action. Sometimes I even have to force my eyes to focus….

So it occurred to me that the weakness in my eyes when I was a teenager is finally catching up on me.  Not bad though, to go for 30 years without needing glasses, when I was originally diagnosed as needing to.

A few days ago, on the weekend, I booked an eye test at an optometrist for this coming Friday night (late night shopping).  I fully expect to need glasses, and I’m surprised that I’m embracing the idea.

I was checking out the optometrist’s website tonight and found that they have this very cool tool that allows you to upload your own photo, select where the centre of your eyes are, and then it superimposes glasses frames over your photo, so that it looks like you’re wearing them.  This way, you can browse the different frames and select the ones that suit you most, before you even walk in the store.

<— That’s me with the superimposed frames. Those are the ones I’ll probably be ending up with.  Luckily for me my health insurance will cover most of the cost, as they’re not exactly cheap.  (I’ve been spending $100 a month on health insurance over the past few years, about bloody time I made use of it.)

Now, the only issue I’ve got is that I also have very weak eyes, and need sunglasses.  The optometrist have a deal where you get two pairs of glasses for the price of one, which is good, so I’ll have the second pair as prescription sunglasses.  But it means I’ll need to carry around two pairs of glasses at all times.

Does anyone have any tips on how to do this, without looking like an old man carrying two pairs of glasses on cords around my neck?  And no, I’m not interested in contact lenses. I have an aversion to putting shit in my eye, so that’s out of the question.

So please feel free to leave your tips.

It’s been almost 2 months since I last wrote something.  I know, it needs to change.  It’s been many years since I last had such a period of time without writing.

The reason for this break is pretty simple.

1. I’ve simply been working and playing Eve Online when I’m not working (in between watching movies, catching up with friends, etc). Life hasn’t been exciting enough to write about, so I haven’t.
2. My work with the government as a Business Analyst has moved into areas that need to limit what I should write about.  So I’ve been trying to work out how that changes my writing style.  I think I’ve worked out that, ultimately, it doesn’t. As long as I just write about my life and stay sensible and responsible, it’ll be fine.

Staying sensible and responsible is the challenge, isn’t it…

So anyway, let me give you a bit of an update.  I was working with HP as a Business Analyst on a government project, and I did really well with that. So well that they transferred me to another government project when the work ran out, so that they could continue utilising my skills.  That occurred about a month ago. This new project is expected to have me on it for maybe 14 months or so, which is just excellent.  Having something a bit longer than the normal 3 months is always a bonus.

One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written was Dominance and submission.  It seems every day a lot of people are coming to this blog because they’re looking for something related to that subject, and some of them are even leaving comments.  I know! Shocking, right?

Ever since writing that post, my life has become just a little bit more interesting. I’ve had lots of discussions with people about the subject, and most people have been quite taken and even supportive of the concept.  In fact, I’ve not had a single negative comment from anyone, which has been quite surprising.

Oops, I just remembered – I’ve had ONE friend react negatively to it. And since it’s only been a single one of my friends, he’ll now know I’m talking about him.  *grin*

So I’ve spoken to some Dominant men and women, but very few submissive women. One of my friends has ‘come out’ and told me he’s submissive (but I already knew that).  Most of my female friends are relatively dominant, which I know I’ll have to change. No, not change them, but change the types of friends I bring into my life. I want more submissive women as friends, so I can delve more into the concept of being the Dominant one in the relationships.  (My submissive male friend lets me be the Dominant one, but that’s different… he’s just a wuss.  :)

I had an old girlfriend contact me about a month ago. She’s Chinese and submissive, and we haven’t been in touch since 2003.  She didn’t contact me because of this D/s thing, but because she found me via some photos of mine on Flickr.  What was she doing looking for me?  We haven’t got as far as her telling me the answer to that question yet, but she did tell me she’s in the process of splitting up with her latest husband.  I don’t know how many that’s been now, but I feel sad that she keeps on picking the wrong guys.

She’s still in New Zealand, living in Auckland.  I told her that if she ever decided to come to Australia, I’d do what I can to help her out.

And then there’s this other young woman I met online, which is the most interesting part of this update for me.  I’ll call her Lily.

She’s going through a stage where she’s questioning her life, her reality, and the path she’s wanting to take, and she was asking me some really insightful questions.  This naturally got my interest, as my knowledge and my own insights were being challenged. I found in her someone wanting to learn what I had to teach.

Since everything about me wants to help people find their own path (that’s one of the reasons I’ve been blogging for the past decade), there was no way I could ignore her – and neither did I want to.  So I started encouraging her to live her own life, and I showed her some of the stuff I’ve written in this blog.

And then she discovered my post about Dominance and submission.  Well, didn’t that start an interesting turn of events.

After reading that, and doing her own research, and thinking about who she was, she came to a realisation – she was a submissive.

For me, I discovered I was a Dominant after being introduced to the D/s concept by a submissive.  For Lily, she discovered she was a sub after being introduced to the concept by me, a Dom.

Isn’t it funny how the world turns.

She lives in the US, and so we’re exploring this online. I’ve told her this is all just an illusion, doing it online is a fantasy.  She’s ok with that.  The question is, how are we to explore a D/s relationship online?  And will it ever end up becoming physically real?

Therein lies the interesting challenge.  For both of us, it’s going to be about growth, and venturing beyond our comfort zones, and exploring new parts of our personalities.

My life is always… interesting.

I just thought I’d put up a transcript of a live performance by George Carlin, a fantastic comedian who unfortunately died in 2008.  He had some interesting views, and it was refreshing that on this one, he agrees with me.

You got people like this around you? Country is full of them now! People walking around all day long, every minute of the day — worried about EVERYTHING! Worried about the air, worried about the water, worried about the soil. Worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens; worried about radon gas; worried about asbestos. Worried about saving endangered species.

Let me tell you about endangered species, all right? Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control Nature! It’s arrogant meddling! It’s what got us into trouble in the first place! Doesn’t anybody understand that? Interfering with Nature! Over 90 percent.. over… way over 90 percent of all the species that have ever lived — EVER LIVED — on this planet are gone. Whissshht! They are extinct!

We didn’t kill them ALL.

They just… disappeared! That’s what Nature does! They disappear these days at the rate of 25 a day, and I mean regardless of our behavior. Irrespective of how we act on this planet, 25 species that were here today, will be gone tomorrow! Let them go… gracefully! Leave Nature alone! Haven’t we done enough?

We’re so self-important. So self-important! Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees; save the bees; save the whales; save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all, “Save the planet.” WHAT? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the fucking planet?

I’m getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. Tired! I’m tired of fucking Earth Day! I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists; these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. They don’t care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference! The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what? A hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin’ around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles; hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors; worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages… And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet… the planet… the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!

We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet will be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet is doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, “How the planet’s doing?” You wanna know if the planet’s all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room!

The planet will be here for a long, long — LONG — time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself; it will cleanse itself, because that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover; the earth will be renewed; and, if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the Earth plus plastic! The Earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the Earth. The Earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the Earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old philosophical question, “Why are we here?” “Plastic! Assholes.”

So! So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that it has already started, don’t you? I think, to be fair, the planet probably sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And I am sure the planet will defend itself in the manner of a large organism, like a beehive or an ant colony, and muster a defense. I am sure the planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet trying to defend against this pesky, troublesome species? “Let’s see… What might… Hmm.. Viruses! Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh…viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.”

Well, that’s a poetic note. And it’s a start. And I can dream, can’t I? See I don’t worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron…whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn’t punish; it doesn’t reward; it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.

Thanks for being here with me for a little while tonight!

Hi everyone!  I’m still around, no need for any concern.  I’ve been busy, preoccupied, or just can’t find anything to write about, so I haven’t.  Occasionally I’ve thought about writing something, but then something else came up…

But here I am, the first post of 2010, and you probably already know from the subject what I want to talk about now…

Terrorism

As we all know, airport security measures have increased all around the world due to some idiot wanting to set off a bomb in his underpants. (Really?)  Apparently, terrorists only want to blow up planes, but they attempt to blow them up in really stupid ways that are unlikely to succeed. Underpants? Shoes? Give me a break.  The result, however, is a whole lot of government and media-driven hysteria that results in a lot of people becoming very afraid.

The probability of dying from terrorism is pretty damn small. You’ve got a greater chance of dying from an infection resulting from a drunken attempt to trim your fingernails than you have of dying from terrorism.

But terrorism suits an agenda, and that agenda is GOVERNMENT CONTROL, so the fear of terrorism is promoted at every opportunity.  It suits the purpose of getting the people to accept greater controls and restrictions being placed on them.  These people think that if freedom is restricted, then they’ll be safer from terrorists.

I saw a discussion online today that scared me with its implications.

‘Libertarians are a threat to national security.’

Why? Well, those discussing it were of the opinion that if you want freedom, you must be a terrorist. Why else would you want freedom, unless it’s so you can be free to conspire and murder people?  So the desire for freedom is now being equated with supporting terrorism. And anyone that argues in favour of freedom is obviously a terrorist.

It’s just ludicrous.

If you stick up for freedom and liberty, you’re a terrorist. I was reading some weeks ago about a man who was to be given a summons to appear in court for some non-violent, civil issue. They used a SWAT team to surround his house with ’superior firepower’ so an armoured police officer could go to the door and deliver the summons. Not because he was violent, or a known criminal or anything like that, but because it was known he supported the US Constitution.

What’s going on here? People that support freedom are now terrorists, that’s what. Because freedom and libertarianism wants to reduce government control. If you want to take power and control away from the government, that is obviously promoting ‘terrorism’…

Let’s think about terrorism for a minute

Do you really think that terrorists can only blow up planes?  What about trains, trucks, and ships? What about large car parks under important buildings with lots of people in them?  What about bridges?  Power stations?  What about computer networks?

There is so much in our society that could be the target of terrorism, and cause an even greater impact on society than blowing up a plane.  Why aren’t they targeted?

It’s possible to kill more people by blowing up a shopping centre than by bringing down a plane, and the terrorist could cause more terror as a result. There are no security checkpoints at public places, so they could get in, plant explosives, and get out. They wouldn’t have to die as well, like they would if they were a terrorist on a plane.

Why do terrorists think that their only target are airplanes?

Unless it’s not about terrorism, but all about minor acts of planned incidents with one purpose – to make people more and more afraid, so they demand more and more government control over everyone’s freedom.

It makes you wonder

Who benefits from these acts of terrorism that are apparently restricted only to airplanes?  Who gets something out of it?

Think about what is wanted by powerful people. More power. Where does their power come from? From their subjects that give it to them.  You can only rule those that want to be ruled.

How do they get more people to give them more power?  By making the people fear the consequences of their government NOT having more power.

These people fear ‘terrorism’ so much that they demand their government take away their freedoms. They demand their government protect them from this ‘horrific threat’.  And so the government does.

When you look at who benefits from terrorism, it’s the US government. Do you think the terrorists benefit?  If they truly think it does, maybe we’d see more acts of terrorism on other targets.

‘Terrorism’ supports the US government’s agenda for domestic and global control. And when you can understand that the CIA is heavily involved in promoting US interests around the world, and have been involved in acts of terrorism to support the US, is it too hard to wonder what they’re doing to support the US domestically?

People are too blind, too stupid, or too apathetic to wake up and realise what’s going on around them. There are a number of people out there who can see the truth, but they’re too few and far between. Too many people live in fear instead, and it’s the ‘majority’ that drives how society develops. Or fails to develop.

I feel very sad for how it’s all going, and I see the Australian government buying into it.  I know why – it’s because they’re receiving pressure from the US. We’re an ally, and a trading partner, and if we don’t support the US way of doing things, then we won’t get the trade or benefits we currently get from them. And so our government becomes like the US government.

The question I ask myself is… where can I move to when Australia joins the US and becomes totalitarian and dictatorial in its implementation of government control?

Norway is looking pretty good right now.

If you’re on Google Wave, maybe you’d like to join me on there and discuss anything that interests you about this blog. The link is over there on the right under Join me on Google Wave.

It would be nice to chat with you if you’re on there already.

Or you can just email me as normal.

On October 1st, new laws came into effect in Australia that censor government officials from criticising government policy.

Censorship push raises ire of MPS

It’s the result of the Auditor-General’s criticism of a $300 million parliamentary entitlements scheme.  All government handouts now need to be cleared by the Department of Finance before being distributed.  The problem is, that the Department of Finance are including the editing of material to prevent criticism of government policies.

Since most of these government handouts are used to educate people about government mismanagement, by censoring them they’re preventing Australians from becoming aware of potential issues or problems within government policy.

How do you feel about this?

Where is it likely to go?  If it’s now illegal for the government to criticise government policies, how soon will it become illegal for the public to criticise government policy?

What are the implications of this?  Well, it would mean that the government can implement whatever it wants, and if anyone is critical about it, they can be censored so that people can’t know.

What if you criticise the government in a blog post, or comments in an online medium?  What if you have control over how material is presented to the public?

That control would have to be taken away from you, either through a banning of your internet access, or by arrest.

Which leads me to the next issue that Australia is currently involved in.

The Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA).

The aim of this treaty, currently with 40-something countries in secret negotiations about how it’s going to work, is to protect copyrighted goods and prevent counterfeiting.  The Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade is one of those who have acknowledged participating in ACTA negotiations, but everyone is refusing to disclose anything about it.

It’s secret, and the public has no right to know what is being decided about how they’re going to be treated.

However, a document has been leaked that details possible provisions being considered.

Not only is counterfeiting and copyright being looked at by ACTA, but also ‘internet distribution and information technology’.

• ISPs all around the world (in participating nations) will be forced to provide information about suspected copyright infringers. No warrants will be necessary.
• searches can be conducted at borders and security checkpoints of laptops, mp3 players, and cellphones for illegally downloaded music or movies. Anyone with infringing content will be subject to a hefty fine AND have their devices confiscated or destroyed. (This is already in effect at US borders.)
• all file sharing and file storage will be illegal, since it’s impossible to control what is shared or stored. This means all websites and internet tools that cater to file sharing and file storing will be illegal. No more Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, etc.  No more Google Documents, 3rd party online storage, etc.

There is also a ‘three strikes’ policy planned. Any person that violates ACTA three times will have their internet access banned – for the rest of their life. This will not only affect them, but their household, their family, their work, their entire life. They will not be allowed to access the internet at work…

What are your thoughts?

In December, I’ll be going for a drive around Victoria, ending up in Adelaide, and then back home again to Canberra.  This image (below) shows the route I’ll be taking over 10 days.

I’ll be traveling along the coast for most of it, but coming back via the River Murray.  I’m hoping for some very nice scenic shots along the way, with beaches, cliffs, lakes, rivers, mountains and miscellaneous scenery…

It’s going to be exciting!  I’ll be doing it by myself too, although that just might change, depending on what the near future holds.

I’ll be departing on 12th December, returning home on 22nd December.  If you can think of interesting places along that route that you think I’d like to see and take photos of, please tell me about them in the comments section.

I’ve seen talk on another blog that the author decided to end their blog and use Facebook instead. It allowed them to provide daily status updates that would complement any blog posts they might write within Facebook, include photos, videos, and links to other interesting sites.

So I thought about it and I thought I would ask you, my readers.

Would you follow me on Facebook to keep up to date with my writings and things I share, or would you prefer I keep the blog format and post infrequently?

Please provide your answers in a Comment, thank you.

Freedom. Who needs it?

Obviously not most people in the western world. They keep demanding less freedom, and they support the punishment of freedom, and taking freedom away.

Why?

Because they feel safer if there’s less freedom.  The media and the governments hype up fears about terrorism and other criminal activities, and encourage people to believe that freedom comes at the price of… well, freedom.

It blows my mind that people can so naively believe that they will be free when they have no freedom.  But there’s one serious flaw in their desires to limit freedom.

The only people it affects are law-abiding citizens.  Terrorists and criminals operate outside the law. They always have, and they always will.  So how will imposing greater restrictions on the general populace help prevent criminals from doing what they do?

It won’t. It simply puts greater control of the masses into the hands of the corrupt few – namely the governments.

The criminals and terrorists will ignore the laws, just like they always have.

So when you think that imposing increased security and restrictions on yourself will make you safer, think again. It just makes you a prisoner to the society you’ve created for yourself.