Today's the day!

Tiny

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sun, 19 May 2013 14:36:00 +0000

I love Lego. I loved it as a child and I love it still. Yesterday I treated myself to a non-Lego brand building set, a Nanoblock Eiffel tower set.

The pieces are so tiny that I could almost not pick them up. Check out this single block (ignore my horrible looking thumb nail)

200+ pieces later I have a masterpiece to display.

Was or Am?

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Fri, 17 May 2013 16:34:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I read a sentence on a blog that has stuck with me. Unfortunately I don’t recall who’s blog it was (an example that I might read a few too many blogs….)

Anyhoo…

The sentence was something like this:

“I know children who are adopted and adults who were adopted”.

It caused me to pause….

Why is the semantics different for children and adults? At what age does adoption stop being a current/ongoing event to something that happened in the past?

My own semantics are completely opposite to the original posters. When I talk about myself, I will say “I am adopted”… an ongoing state of being, much like I refer to myself as being brunette. And yet, when I’m talking about Liam, I am more likely to say “he was adopted.” I hear myself doing it, and I’ve often wondered why?

Having thought about this sentence for the last week or so, I think the difference for me is that I have embraced adoption as a part of me. It has shaped the person I have become. And yet, I’m not quite ready to use it to define Liam. Perhaps my view is skewed as I’m the parent in his case, and I do see his adoption as something that happened on a specific day. He may one day see himself also defined by the fact that he was/is adopted and then he too may say “I am adopted”.

Which version do you use? Does the persons age factor into your choice of words?

Blog Hop #4

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Fri, 17 May 2013 01:05:00 +0000

Heather over at Open Adoption Bloggers is hosting another Blog Hop in order to help connect people to new (and old) bloggers.

The question everyone has been asked to answer is:

"What was the last book you read??"

I love to read! My problem is that I have very little time to sit down and read a book. When I find a book that I really enjoy, I will lose myself in it till I finish it, personal hygiene and employment be damned. The Harry Potter series, Twilight and the Hunger Games trilogy were all like that for me. I read the Hunger Games from cover to cover on boxing day and was in line when the stores opened the next morning to buy the next 2 books.

Alas, I can't devote that much time to reading very often. I have found a solution though! Audio books! Load it up on my I-pod, put it in my arm band and I can listen to my book any time, any where. And now that I've figured out how to borrow them for free from the library, I'm all set!

So now to answer the question...What was the last book you read? The last paper book I read was The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption written by my friend Lori. The last audio book I've listened to was The Affair by Lee Child. My mom introduced me to this series last summer and I really enjoy them.

So, what was the last book you read?

Daring Kitchen - En Croute

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Tue, 14 May 2013 22:10:00 +0000

It's been a couple of months since I've participated in a Daring Kitchen Challenge. First they made salami and then they de-boned a whole chicken. SHUDDER. There are some cooking skills that I can manage without!

This month however was something that I was very excited about! Cooking En Croute. What is En Croute? According to this month's hostess, The Monkey Queen, it is a food that has been wrapped in pastry dough and baked in an oven. I originally planned to make Beef Wellington, something I've wanted to try ever since watching Gordon Ramsey go off on all of his prodigies on Kitchen Nightmares. Alas, life got busy and I didn't have the time to devote to it. I did however find time to make The Monkey Queen's recipe of Stuffed Mushroom en Croute.

I stuffed a Portebella mushroom cap with a mixture of spinach and Brie, wrapped the whole thing in puff pastry and waited for it to come out of the oven. It was so very tasty that Hilary and I both ate two!

Blog-checking lines: Our lovely Monkey Queen of Don’t Make Me Call My Flying Monkeys, was our May Daring Cooks’ hostess and she challenged us to dive into the world of en Croute! We were encouraged to make Beef Wellington, Stuffed Mushroom en Croute and to bring our kids into the challenge by encouraging them to create their own en Croute What is En Croute? It is a food that has been wrapped in pastry dough and baked in an oven.recipes!

Robin's Eggs

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Mon, 13 May 2013 14:29:00 +0000

A family of robin's have built a nest under our deck. Right now there are 3 eggs. I really hope we get to see the babies soon.

A mother's day feast

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Mon, 13 May 2013 01:28:00 +0000

We christened the new BBQ with a Mother's Day feast. We had barbecued steak medallions, sautéed onions, lobster in butter with Brandy and spring fresh fiddle heads.

And for desert we had vanilla ice cream with 3 different toppings: Pears in red wine, strawberries with Balsamic vinegar and a brandy sauce

Dinner was divine!

Open Hearted Adoption - Book Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Thu, 09 May 2013 09:00:00 +0000

Click HERE to buy the book on Amazon.

My friend Lori recently wrote a book AND got it published! I'm so very proud of her. She even quoted one of my blog posts in her book. Now we are doing a virtual book tour where bloggers who have read the book answer different questions put forth by other bloggers. A big shout out and Thank you! to Melissa from Stirrup Queens for organizing things and keeping us on track. Be sure to follow the link through at the end so that you can read everyone else's post.

1. The term “Real Mother” or “Real Parents” comes up quite frequently in an adoptee’s life. Lori suggests in her book that we see each set of parents (birth and adoptive) as “Real”. Do you agree? How would you personally handle this terminology? And are there other ways to effectively deal with this term if used by your child or directed at your child by another?

a. As both an adoptee and an adoptive mother, I very much agree that all of a child’s parents are REAL. As a child it really bothered me when people asked about my “real” mother, especially if my {adoptive} mother was there. The guilt !!

Now as an adoptive parent myself, I’m not personally offended if someone refers to my child’s mother as his “real” mother, but it is an area that I often feel compelled to correct people from outside the adoption circle when they use it.

My child has tried to use the term “real” mother during a disagreement…. “My REAL mother wouldn’t make me clean my room”. Umm.. sorry buddy, but I’m pretty sure she would. I’ll be sure to ask her next time I send her an email….. the joys of open adoption!

2. My question concerns openness and pre-birth matching, which Lori covers in Ch. 1 (citing Luna's early match with her daughter's birth mother, at pg 20-21) and Ch. 7 (discussing the balance between hopeful adoptive parents feeling cautious and joyful when an expectant mother could still decide to parent, at pg 134-36). Pre-birth matching is common in open adoption. Some might argue that, due to the potential for even subtle manipulation with expectations on both sides, pre-birth matching is inherently coercive. Others suggest that pre-birth matching provides a chance to build a relationship and foundation for real openness after placement.

Since both sides seem to have the child's interest at heart, what steps, if any, can be taken to ensure that expectant parents aren't pressured into placement in the name of openness AND have an opportunity to get to know the prospective parents, which may help inform their ultimate decision?

a. This is such a tough question. We had a pre-birth match with my son’s mother, long before I knew what to call it, or had ever heard of it being potentially coercive. I now look back and worry about whether or not Liam’s Mom felt coerced or manipulated. Did I do or say anything that caused her to make a decision that she would not have done otherwise? However, I also treasure the time that we got to know her and can share some of those moments with Liam. I feel much more connected to her then I think I would have otherwise. We had the opportunity to discuss parenting styles, outlooks on different topics and ideologies. I feel much more confident in my parenting choices knowing the little bit about her parenting choices that we were able to learn in those pre-birth days. I hope that she was also able to take some comfort from getting to know us as well.

The rules here in Nova Scotia are much different then what I read about from American friends, but I still believe the underlying subtle manipulation and coercion can still happen. One of the steps that I think must be taken is that the expectant parents MUST have independent support from an adoption professional. Since adoption is not a for-profit industry where I live, that adoption professional can come from the adoption agency. However, in the USA and other areas where the adoption agency profits from adoption, I think that the support for the expectant parents should come from an independent outside source. This will give the expectant parents an unbiased person to talk to, share their fears with and have someone in their corner, helping them explore all possibilities – especially the choice to parent.

Of course the million dollar question is "Who pays for this unbiased professional?" Short of removing money from the adoption equation completely (and using a model similar to what we have here) I don't have an answer for that.

Please return to the main post to read more opinions on Lori Holden's The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption.

I have FIRE!

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Mon, 06 May 2013 00:26:00 +0000

After 2 years of not having a BBQ, this is a very welcome sight on my deck.

Silver!

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 15:27:00 +0000

On Saturday I entered my first ever Tae Kwon-Do tournament. Liam had been in this same tournament last year, so I had an idea of how it would run and what to expect. Liam had no desire to enter it this year. He did come along and helped carry my gear, cheer me on and took some pictures for me on the Ipod. I also ran into a co-worker from years ago who borrowed my camera to take pictures of his kids and also got some great shots of me.

The tournament consisted of 2 competitions - patterns and sparring and I took Silver in both. There were only 3 adult women in my division, so we only had to compete against each other. We did patterns in the morning. I wasn't at all nervous until I finished my pattern and was waiting for the judges decision. Then my legs started to shake. Luckily, they didn't take long and I was able to hold it together.

For my first sparring round I went up against Ashley who was a powerhouse! She came out swinging and I have the bruises to show for it today. Unfortunately she seriously hurt her wrist blocking one of my kicks and had to withdraw from the match. It turned out to be just a bad sprain and not broken. I then sparred against Amanda, who I often practice with at my Dojang, so it made for a pretty even match, but she took the gold. The fact that both of these women are 20 years my junior made me feel pretty dang good about myself.

All in all I'm glad I went and I'm pretty sure I'll do it again. Here are some shots from the day.

Patterns

Sparring

Springy Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 14:08:00 +0000

Our weather is finally nice enough that we were able to get out and enjoy it. I was supposed to rake the yard, but was sidetracked by getting Liam's bike out and ready for the year. The most exciting part was having to put the seat up by an inch and a half. He really does grow!

And there are finally signs of spring too. Our forsythia bush is starting to bud. It's my favorite bush as it's always the first to bloom in the spring.

Shave for the Brave

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 18:40:00 +0000

Our local mall was hosting a Shave for the Brave event to raise money for YACC -Young Adult Cancer Canada. Since I needed a haircut this weekend anyway, I figured why not do it for a great cause!

So I did.....

While I keep my hair short, shaved even, I've never gone right down to skin before. It's a very odd sensation. And good thing they give you a toque! I would have frozen on the walk home.

Who knows, I may like this look so much that I keep it!

It's so quiet

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 00:58:00 +0000

With the help of some furry friends, and a LOT of help from Andy's friend David, we have a new dishwasher!

A Better Easter Basket

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 22:17:00 +0000

Everything is better with bacon!

Happy Easter!

Crocopetti

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 12:17:00 +0000

The weather has finally turned to spring here, so I enjoyed it by getting out for a nice walk. Our own crocuses are still buried under snow in the back yard, but I found lots of nice ones in the sun.

Daring Kitchen - Cheese

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 22:53:00 +0000

Sawsan from chef in disguise was our March 2013 Daring Cooks hostess! Sawsan challenges us to make our own homemade cheeses! She gave us a variety of choices to make, all of them easily accomplished and delicious!

With so much going on this month, I didn't think I would get a chance to participate in this month's challenge. Luckily I've made cheese before, in the form of Paneer - an Indian cheese often used in curry recipes. A recent magazine that I had featured a recipe for making Paneer from buttermilk and had a wonderful curry recipe to go along with it.

Since we like Paneer so much we doubled the recipe, using 4L of buttermilk.

Boil the butter milk till it starts to separate.

Strain the curd (discard the whey) through cheesecloth.

Press the cheese for about an hour under some weight and then wrap in plastic and refrigerate.

Cut the cheese into bite size cubes.

Fry the cubes of cheese in butter and olive oil to well browned.

Add to a tasty curry and enjoy!

Liam and Granny

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 09:48:00 +0000

Tats

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 23:56:00 +0000

When I was just a young thing in my twenties I got a tattoo. A very nice, multi-coloured Celtic knot on my shoulder.

I loved it so much that I went back the very same day and got another one! This one is the old man on the moon with stars in a sky of blue

I've been wanting to get another tattoo for awhile now. I actually have 2 in mind. My plan is to reach a certain weight loss goal and then I'm going to treat myself to my next tattoo. I'm hopefully only a few weeks away from it!! Stay tuned to find out what it is.

Help me..

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 10:00:00 +0000

I'm molting......

A trip down memory lane

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:42:00 +0000

I needed to find some old photos for another project. Here is 18 year old me and my horses:

"April"

"Susie" and "T.J."

I've decided to search!

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 23:54:00 +0000

I'll be adding my picture to all the others currently on Facebook. No idea if this will bring any results, but nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Oscar's 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:43:00 +0000

We broke from tradition this year and didn't have a theme for our Oscar party. Other years we've had Ribs and Potatoes (2008), Indian (2009), Indian #2 (2010), Thai (2011) and last year's Mexican.

This year we had a small gathering, just us and one other couple. These are the friends that we spend all of our holidays with. We didn't have Christmas with them this year as we spent it in Ontario. So we decided to have a full turkey dinner for Oscar night!

No one can resist Hilary's turkey! Luckily we were all able to stay awake after such a feast and we made it to the very end of the Oscar's with very full bellies.

Should I?

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 21:49:00 +0000

My Facebook feed has lately been clogged with pictures of adoptees (or birthparents, or siblings) holding up posters with their information, trying to find their first families. Social media is a huge part of our lives today, and a picture shared with a few friends can suddenly go viral. The number of people who have been reunited through this method is growing. There is a whole Facebook page dedicated to helping people share their pictures.

Every time I see one of these pictures go by, I think "Should I?" Should I print up what information I know about my paternal half-siblings and put it out there for the fates to handle? I have enough bits and pieces that someone might make the connection. I have met my birthmother and I look nothing like her or her other daughter. I suspect that I do look like my paternal half-siblings, based on the bits and pieces I have. Would someone see the picture and make the connection?

The pros and cons are overwhelming. Do I want to find them? What if I don't find them? If I found them, how would it affect Iris? Should that concern stop me? What will I find? Do they know about me and don't want to be found? and on and on it goes.

So I sit and wonder, Should I?

Blog Hop #2

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 10:00:00 +0000

Heather over at Open Adoption Bloggers is hosting another Blog Hop in order to help connect people to new (and old) bloggers.

The question everyone has been asked to answer is:

"Do you have a favorite quotation?"

I sure do, and I hope that lots of you will know what it means. Leave your guesses in the comments!

Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

Be sure to check out all the other bloggers participating in the Hop!

My treat to me

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:12:00 +0000

Valentine's Day Sushi

noreply@blogger.com (Andy Drouin) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 01:05:00 +0000

We made "sushi" tonight for Liam to take to school for his Valentine's Day lunch tomorrow.