all good things

The struggle in Silicon Valley

2017-02-17T13:39:00.002-08:00

Another year went by and I am in disbelieve that I have been back to work for over a year. Working at Stanford is truly an eye-opening experience. I never get why do people complain about working/surviving in the Silicon Valley when I was just being a stay-at-home mom. All I can say is it is quite brutal as described now that I am in it myself. It is definitely quite exhausting trying to keep up with others. There are always younger single people who could devote all their time to advance their career in the SV. One becomes obsolete the moment he/she turns 30 or have a family.

Aaron is the only reason keeping me in the job market as I want to be able to provide for him too. I want to feel like I am contributing to whatever he needs in SV. It is insane to learn that his tuition, activities, and other miscellaneous expenses cost as much as our mortgage. Despite the expenses, it’s not going to change my mind on giving him the best we can afford. I hope he will understand and appreciate all our hard work one day.

Fun activities

2016-10-06T14:32:00.002-07:00

We've been doing a few artsy activities/projects with Aaron as he seems to really enjoy them. I love making memories with him so he can look back later how much we had together. We did our annual clay hand print, tie dye shirt, muffin cup painting, and pumpkin painting the last couple months. I tried so hard not to interfere with his creativity, yet I don't want him to totally ruin the projects as he's still a little kid after all.

Clay hand print @ Art Beat

Tie Dye @A Brighter World

Muffin cup painting @Color Me Mine

Pumpkin painting @Artist & Craftsman SF

Switching swim school

2016-09-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

After 2.5 years with Waterworks and making little to no progress with swimming, it's time to try out a new swim school. We switched to StarSwim in Los Gatos and started having private lesson with Coach Steve. He definitely seems like he knows what he's doing. He is firm yet friendly and Aaron seems to enjoy his swim lessons so much more.

We can definitely see some improvements since switching to StarSwim. I am not expecting Aaron to become an Olympian, all I want is him being able to swim independently. It's not that much to ask for, right?

Coach Steve is helping Aaron surf. :)

First day of Pre-K

2016-08-29T16:12:00.000-07:00

How did my baby start going to Pre-K already? Time has been passing by way too fasttttt. I haven't even been able to catch my breath and he's starting pre-k. It's definitely awesome to see all his growth and development, yet it's so not cool that he's growing up so fast. I don't feel like I ever have enough time to hold and squeeze him when life is passing by so quickly.

Aaron is going to a new classroom, having new teachers, and meeting so many new friends as most of his friends from last year are older and are going to a different classroom. I have to admit that it's more nerve wracking for me than for him when facing all the changes. I hope he will enjoy another year of preschool and have as much fun as he can.

2016 Summer Camp

2016-08-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

This is Aaron's first year of attending summer camp full time. I chose to let him go to his school's summer camp as it will be an easy transition for him when he's already familiar with the environment. Teachers and friends will be different but hopefully it is not going to be an issue. Summer camp just seems so much fun (swimming, arts, puppet show, petting zoo...) that I wish I were given the chance to do so when I was a kid. I remember all my summers were pretty boring growing up. Staying at home on most days, swimming for less than a handful of times the entire summer, working on summer workbooks as my parents were both working full time.

But I cannot blame them for my uneventful summers as I understand I wouldn't be able to live a comfortable life without their hard work. It'd just be nice if they would spend more time with me like I've always wanted. I hope Aaron would appreciate all the time we spend together and enjoy his childhood as much as possible. Raising a happy kid has always been my goal and I need to keep reminding myself that. :)

Big booboo

2016-07-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

It was just another ordinary day of swimming until Aaron fell and tripped right by the swimming pool earlier. I didn't even think anything was serious until I got closer and saw him bleeding heavily from his mouth and chin. I immediately froze as I didn't know what can I do to stop the bleeding. Fortunately daddy was there when it happened and he helped everyone to stay calm. We took the poor kid to an urgent care and he just wouldn't stop crying the entire time.

I knew it was not going to be pleasant once the doctor determined that he needs stitches. The rest was just a lot of screaming/crying/kicking during the entire procedure. I couldn't help but feel guilty that I wasn't able to prevent this horrific event. I kept asking myself if this accident could have been avoided if I sat closer to him? Or if I insisted that he shouldn't run around the pool? :( Nothing can be worst than seeing your own kid gets hurt right in front of you and nothing you can do about it. It hurts more to see him in pain than getting hurt yourself. Is this truly the lives of being parents? I remember I once read this quote - "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." and I am finally understanding the true meaning of it by being a parent.

I am so thankful that we have the best medical insurance and healthcare resources in the area. Liquid diet and some antibioitics are the plans for the next couple days. Aaron is one tough cookie and I am sure he will be okay in no time. Thanks be to God.

Happy 4th Birthday

2016-06-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

Time flies like an arrow, Aaron turned 4 last week. How did a baby turn into a big boy so quickly? It seems like everything just happened yesterday yet he has already completed his first year in preschool! It is truly amazing how much he had grown and I cannot be more proud to be his mommy.

It can be such a headache planning a birthday party for this little guy. I want to find something fun and age appropriate for him and his friends which is getting harder every year. I came across this indoor soccer place in Santa Clara that seems to be perfect for his birthday. I booked the place without even visiting as I have been tied up with work lately. I am so glad that everything worked out fine and the kids all had fun running around at the party.

Peppa Pig has been Aaron's favorite character for a long time and I think he totally deserves a Peppa Pig themed party. Who wouldn't love a piece of Peppa Pig strawberry shortcake? :) Happy 4th Birthday my baby!

My 3rd mother's day

2016-05-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day was fun when my baby is finally old enough to create little art work for me. He is such a sweet boy and the things he does truly melt my heart. It's simply amazing how little humans can have such enormous effects on you day to day. I keep reminding myself how blessed I am to have him in my life to experience this amazing journey together.

Parenting can definitely be hard at times but it can also be so rewarding that there is nothing else quite like it in the world. I need to live in the moment more because he will be all grown up before I know it. :(

Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mothers out there!

Long overdue day bed

2016-04-15T15:41:00.001-07:00

I know I know, the majority of people move their babies out of the crib by age 2 and I waited till Aaron is almost 4 to start opening his crib. But I don't really see a problem with keeping him in there as long as he is still comfortable sleeping in it. I only started to consider opening the crib a few weeks ago when he began climbing out consistently every morning on the weekends.

So here we are, my baby outgrew his crib and it is wide opened now! :) He had the biggest smile the moment he saw his crib turned into a day bed. I hope he will be happy for another year before we figure out what kind of bed to get him next.

Happy April!

2016-04-01T15:10:00.001-07:00

Easter break went by way too quickly when my godparents were in town. I couldn't be more thrilled to have them over to be with me at my baptism. I am truly grateful to have them in my life and I wouldn't want to change a thing. Having them to be my godparents is no doubt the best decision I've made as no one else out there can be as loving and caring as them to me and my family.

Aaron loves them even though they have only hung out for a little bit. The amount of love they showed Aaron was incredible. They treated Aaron as if their own grandson and I simply do not know anyone could have done the same for us when we are not even related by blood. I am always grateful that they are always there for me and I love them dearly.

We cramped as many activities as we could on the short 5 days they were here. We went to SF twice, Santa Cruz, Google, Stanford, my baptism, and Easter Sunday mass. We all had such a blast that we wish that they lived in California. Unfortunately, Indiana is way too far for us to travel back and forth, but we are still planning for a trip back to see them this year. :)

Easter

2016-03-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

Easter is coming up in 2 weeks and this Easter will be extra special for me as I am finally getting baptized after all these years. It has been quite a long journey until I truly get myself together to join God's big family. I am so grateful for all the love and support from the RCIA teachers and my Godparents, who will be travelling all the way from Indiana to attend my baptism this Easter. I can't wait to see my Godparents and spend some quality time with them. Perhaps I should plan a trip back to Indiana sometime this year. It has been a couple of years that I haven't been back and I miss them dearly.

Happy early Easter everyone!

Work life balance

2016-03-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Time just went by way too fast the older you get. It has been more than 3 months since I went back to work and I am finally used to coming to work everyday. The biggest struggle I have with work is I feel like there is never enough time to do everything I want when I am not working. I never get time to tidy up the house (not to mention the cleaning part), paying bills, running errands, and even watching my favorite shows.

Another challenge is to find time to spend with Aaron when I am exhausted after work everyday. Music and swim lessons are now scheduled on weekdays to free up weekends to do stuff together, but they wore us all out a little too well. Even though it's tiring raising a child, I keep telling myself that Aaron is growing up so fast that I am going to miss all these days with him. I don't mind being called a helicopter mom because I truly love hovering around Aaron and give him a hand whenever he needs it.

Wouldn't it be nice if we all have 48 hours a day? ;)

First day of work

2015-11-10T16:01:00.000-08:00

This is such a mixed emotions day. It is definitely hard to leave my baby to go to work in the morning after being with him 24/7 all these years. We have been each others' companion for almost 4 years and we both started a new chapter of our lives today. I can't help but feeling guilty that I won't be the one taking care of him primarily anymore. The joy that he has brought me is incredible and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

I am truly blessed and grateful that I was able to spend so much time with Aaron. From day 1 till now, there was never a dull moment. I wish time didn't go by that fast and we can spend more precious time together. Hopefully he will adjust to the new schedule at school smoothly and I can get used to working again.

my silly boy and his buddy :D

Totally defeated this week

2015-09-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

It's never easy to be a SAHM especially when you get sick. You don't get a break or a day off because there are still chores waiting for you. This is always the time that I struggle with when my parents/family is not around to help. I feel so helpless because all I want to do is to lay down and not do anything. I am sure I am not alone that many other SAHMs struggled with this before and I don't want to be a cry baby about it. As humble and as grateful I should be, sometimes I can't help but think how life would be different if I am in HK with my parents. Would everything be much better as I always imagined? I truly hope that one day they can be around all the time seeing Aaron grow up every day. Don't you always miss your parents when you are sick? :(

Chicken ginseng soup is making me feel a little better

My silly little boy

A huge step in potty training

2015-08-21T21:52:00.001-07:00

This is no doubt a day to remember when Aaron was diaper free all day except nap time and at night. I am so proud of my little boy that he is finally understanding the concept of going potty when he needs to. He has been in diaper way too long and I feel like he could have been potty trained much sooner if he was in daycare. It's a little bit of my fault to keep him in diaper when he's capable of using the potty. I feel like using diaper is much more convenient and hygienic especially when the outside bathroom is not all that clean.

Anyways, I hope he can stay dry for an entire week before preschool starts so that I can send him to school fully potty trained. :)

He's becoming such a big boy already :(((

First semi-private swimming lesson

2015-08-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

Aaron started his very first semi-private swimming lesson with a new teacher called Matt. He seems to have trust in Matt right away when the lesson starts. It's amazing to see that Aaron is able to follow commands and do exactly what he was asked to do. He has been taking mommy and me swimming classes for such a long time I feel like he might advance in a faster pace if I weren't there holding him in the water.

I wish I switched Aaron to the semi-private lesson with the new teacher sooner as he showed disinterest in the previous teacher. Kids truly do not hide their emotions and would tell you if they don't like certain things or people. I should have listened to Aaron earlier and found him another teacher so that he could focus on learning. Lesson learned and I will try to listen to his needs more from now on.

Swimming off with the new teacher right away

He did so awesome that he earned a terrific turbo

Aaron's turning 3

2015-06-02T15:16:00.000-07:00

Another year flew by since I had Aaron and he's turning 3 in a blink of an eye. I truly hope that time can stop and I can have him as a baby forever. He's just way too cute the way he is now and I feel sad that every time I look at his old pictures. He's walking, running, jumping, talking, playing just like any other kids and I can't believe he's mine.

I am so grateful that he's in my life and I am learning how to be a good mother everyday. I might not be the best mother in the world but I am trying hard to become one. I hope Aaron could feel my growing love for him. Happy Birthday, Aaron baby. Mommy loves you :)

Preschool tours

2015-03-20T16:32:00.001-07:00

I have been keeping myself busy these days by touring all these preschools for the Fall. I am so overwhelmed with all the schools and approaches they take that I am not sure what is best for Aaron. I was planning to send Aaron to bilingual school because I feel like he needs to start learning more Chinese; however, I don't feel like any of them after the tours. Most of these bilingual schools are either Montessori or academic focused, which is against my original principle. I just want Aaron to be a child when he is still little. I don't believe in feeding him academic knowledge so early on when he's probably not ready developmentally.

I think I've always been wanting to let Aaron play as much as he wants to before going to kindergarten. I don't want him to not like going school from so early on. He should enjoy his childhood and not have to worry about academics until he's ready.

So far I have seen at least 8 preschools/CDCs and I can't quite make a decision yet. I hope there's one that stands out and I don't have to choose. I think there are still maybe a handful more to look at, hence the search continues. I would really hope to make a decision by this week so I don't have to worry about it by the time we fly home. *fingers crossed* ;)

So defeated

2015-02-05T23:01:00.000-08:00

Another long day of being a SAHM. I keep asking myself if I am still suitable to stay at home full time anymore when my emotions are so unstable 90% of the time. I simply can't control my emotions whenever Aaron is acting up, which seems to happen every meal. I am at a loss of what to do as a parent as there is no one teaching/guiding me through this process. I often question myself if I am doing the right thing after punishing him. Am I being too strict with him? I feel like I need to get away from him so that I can get myself back together.

We started training Aaron to eat by himself this week as he has been fed by me all his life. He's definitely old enough to be able to feed himself, but recently he has been more dependent on me than ever. I started noticing kids his age are all feeding themselves and eating so well. I believe Aaron can do the same if I give him the chance to do it himself. I think I am more frustrated than ever since I started the "training". It's tough to watch him eat a few spoons and stop eating altogether after 30 minutes. I admit that I am not the most patient person in the world, but let's be honest that toddlers all have a tight schedule. It's not like we can take two hours to eat and skip all the activities. Hence, I took away his food after 45 minutes as the pediatrician suggested. I purposely did not give him any fruits or snacks at school afterward to teach him a lesson. He was quite whiny at school when it came to snack time watching other kids eating happily.

After we got home he didn't even nap but played in his crib for 3 hours until dinner time. He finished his milk pretty quickly and seemed more hungry than usual. Or was it just because he got yelled at by me earlier? He ate dinner a little better than his lunch, but I guess it will take some time to correct his behavior. I wish this terrible 2 phase would be over soon because I am not sure how long can I stay sane battling with my own son that I love so dearly.

Eating kabab by himself awhile ago

First day of junior preschool

2015-01-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

I can't believe this day has finally came. Aaron started the new junior preschool program today at MACC. I am more willing to drop Aaron off at MACC because he is already familiar with the classroom, environment, and the teachers after attending MACC for almost a year. I remember he started going to the Tot time when he was about 19 months and all of a sudden he's already 2 1/2 already. Where did time go? :(

I didn't quite prep Aaron about going to school alone until this morning. I told him that I won't be able to go to school with him, but bow wow and teacher Kim are going to be there. He seems to be ok and even repeats that mama won't be going to school with him today.

We got to school and were greeted by teacher Kim's warm smile right away. Aaron settled in while I finished some paperwork for this program. He seemed like he was already comfortable and all playing with his favorite Thomas. Teacher Kim soon told me to say my good bye and Aaron gave me a hug and said byebye then off I went. He didn't seem to care too much that I was leaving as I've been telling him all morning that I will be back after picking up something from the store. Daphne and I then went to the store and bought the kids macaroons for reward.

We went back to the school on time to pick up the kids and they were happy to see us. Teacher Kim told us they were doing great in school without us and I am so relieved that Aaron didn't have a melt down trying to find me. It's such a mixed feeling that he is going to school by himself yet I am not his world anymore. Please don't grow up so fast Aaron, mama still wants to spend all the time with you. :)

Last day of 2014

2015-01-01T00:09:00.001-08:00

Another year flew by and Aaron is growing up faster than ever. I want to enjoy my baby a little longer even though he's no longer a baby. I miss the little baby that I can hold in my arms all day and night even though he's so cute that he's talking and dancing. I guess it's hard not to miss the days when he was younger because I know that those days are gone. I gotta cherish every moment with him when time just keeps flying by.

I am so grateful that I had such a great year spending everyday with Aaron. He simply becomes my sole purpose of life as much as I don't want to admit it. I never knew I can love someone so much until I have Aaron. He becomes my everything and I'd do anything for him. I love everything he is and I can't spend enough time with him everyday. Happy 2015 everyone!

Aaron turned 2.5 today!

2014-12-02T22:30:00.001-08:00

I don't know how time flies by so fast after having Aaron. He turned 2.5 today in just a blink of an eye. It's actually a mixed feeling that he's growing up fast. I love watching him grow, talk, play each day and I want to stop the time because I love the innocent little boy the way he is now. Everything he does is terribly cute, well not always but you get the idea. But I know all the cuteness will eventually go away when he's older. I am living in the moment and enjoying him before he becomes all independent.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have Aaron in my life whenever I look at him. He's just a perfect little angel that God has given me. I feel like I can never have enough time with him even though I see him all day long and I didn't know I could love someone so much. I wish he felt the same way about me and become the person he wants to be. Happy 2.5 Birthday, my love!

Aaron's first Trick or Treat

2014-10-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

Aaron finally had his first trick or treat this year as he didn't go for one when he was in HK last year. It's actually quite difficult to find him a cute costume as he's not a baby anymore. This is usually the time that I wish I had a girl so that I can dress her up with all kinds of cute outfits. Oh well, I am just thankful that I have one precious little boy after all. I can't imagine life without this little guy anymore. He becomes my world and I do everything for him. I wonder if it is because I am with him 24/7? Does that make a difference at all?

Ok, back to my topic. So I found this cute little costume right before we went back to HK and never really tried it on until we returned. The costume fits him ok besides the hat is super duper huge for a 2 yo. Aaron is at the age that he doesn't just let me put whatever on him. It was tough putting the whole costume on without sweating. By the way, did I mention how warm it is in CA when it's Oct/Nov time? It's unbelievable that we get to live in such mild climate area after all these years in the cold brutal Midwest. Words simply cannot express how awesome I feel living in CA and I seriously wouldn't want to move to anywhere else in the country.

Enough digressing, we went to Valley Fair for Aaron's first trick-or-treat around 5:30 after he woke up from his nap. The traffic was bad and daddy was stuck at work. I knew I had to get him there before all the stores runs out of candies. The parking lot was full and the mall was like a zoo. People were everywhere looking for candies with their kids. As I predicted, most of the stores ran out of candies and Aaron only got to get 4 pieces of candies. How sad! But he didn't seem to care, just be his happy self holding the pumpkin around. Daddy finally came meet us up and we went to dinner at the sushi restaurant before heading home. Overall, Aaron was happy and that was all it matters.

Happy Halloween!

Bronchitis

2014-09-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

Aaron has been coughing for a couple days before getting on the plane to HK and I didn't think it was anything serious as he gets sick every now and then. He was in good spirit all along even after we got off the plane. I was thinking to take him to the doctor after we get off the plane anyways to make sure everything is ok.

As I haven't been living in HK for a long time, I don't know how to find a good pediatrician or any doctor in general so I asked my friends who have kids to get their pediatricians' info. Unfortunately, all the doctors my friends recommended were busy/closed. I finally found Dr. Ko in CWB who has good reviews and I took a leap of faith to go with him.

The nicest thing about HK is you can usually get to see the doctor the same day you make an appointment even if you are a new patient. I guess that's the beauty of private practice. You can go to any doctor of your wish as long as you are willing to pay the price. The wait at Dr. Ko was minimal, Aaron was seen right away. Aaron had the routine check and Dr. Ko started lecturing me for not taking Aaron to see a doctor earlier. He was diagnosed with bronchitis and was at risk of developing asthma if it wasn't taken care of properly.

I have never thought that Aaron's condition was that serious as he has been pretty healthy even with his rough start, however, Dr. Ko brought this back to my attention and emphasized the importance to take care of Aaron's condition with extra precaution. I am so glad that I found Dr. Ko as he is not only knowledgeable but caring and thorough with Aaron. He even noticed little things like Aaron's chest retraction (a condition that he was born with due to the premature birth). I have never met a doctor being so generous with their time explaining everything in detail. Dr. Ko spent a good 40 minutes with us, which is unheard of with any other doctor I've seen in my life. I wish we had more doctors like Dr. Ko and his thoroughness once again brought up the thought of finding another pediatrician for Aaron in CA, but I doubt I can find anyone even close to Dr. Ko. I hope Aaron will feel better soon so he can enjoy his time in HK.

Still in good spirit playing at the clinic

To be honest, this is quite a bit of medicine for a little kid who is only 2

Mission accomplished

2014-09-10T02:28:00.000-07:00

It's quite unbelievable that I actually have the courage to fly all the way to the other side of the world alone with a toddler. I am not gonna lie, the 14+ hour flight is not easy at all. Would I want to do it again? Maybe not. LOL

The good news is we landed safely and no major tantrum on the plane. Aaron napped about 4-5 hours, which I don't quite remember as I was out on and off. It was hard for him to find a comfortable position to sleep even when his head was resting on my lap. He kept adjusting to different position and rolling of the seat, but he was amazingly not cranky about it.

Aaron has been coughing since Saturday and his cough doesn't sound good at all. I think I might have to take him to the doctor today and get checked out. I hope it's nothing serious when daddy is not around.

Ready to take off at SFO

iPad is such a lifesaver!

We landed safely