PeaceLoveYoga

To Feel Rather than to Think

2012-01-29T00:19:00.002-05:00

Mysore, India

"It`s always difficult. To feel, rather than to think, to tap into that source and let it come through you. It takes courage. Because we feel it and then we get scared and we analyze it. We live in this thought web, we identify things and put them away and distance ourselves from them. But to be completely present? That is source, that is art, that is spirituality. And meditation is a way to defy fear and experience that source." — Ben Foster

I've always had an active mind. I contemplate. I analyze. Please understand, I'm a Virgo. Haha. Excuses. Excuses. When first practicing yoga, I had a revelation when experiencing non-identification with thought. Truly, it was amazing. I felt more deeply connected to others, even myself. This spaciousness came into my awareness like a flood. I also learned wanting to maintain or hold on to the experience made it even more elusive. Live and learn.

It's been a long road in holding what I feel with value. To not judge, and use it as a source of information. Every inkling carries weight. I'm just beginning to realize. Listening, observing, I learn multitudes, rather than spattering off at the mouth. In the silence comes strength. I don't have to be seen, because I already recognize what is important. There is a wellspring of wisdom that comes with the emotions and feelings that aggregate through the practice of yoga or in just living.

Walking down a supposed 'spiritual path' one can get inundated with more concepts and ideas to fill the head with. Although I am an avid reader of books I know it doesn't necessarily make me anymore informed. In many ways I read to keep myself open. To be open to varying view points and experiences. I love reading about human exploits. I feel more humane doing so. It gives rise to compassion. We are not alone in our plight. It's grounding, in a way, as I put myself in the shoes of another.

More and more I don't see the value in holding onto more concepts and ideals. If I hold a belief system of some sort I want to stay open enough to be proven wrong in what I believe, if this is the case. There's a freshness that comes with this. I don't have to be identified with anything. There is nothing to loose. At the same time I can always stand for something. Truth is true.

If I feel scared there is something to learn about my fear. If I feel dislike, anger, sadness, distress, anxiety, this is all good stuff. This is where the intimacy of life lives. I don't have to run away from the discomfort.

I have come to realize when practicing yoga, if I allow the energy to work through, there is a rawness that tends to emerge. This raw place leads one to possibly feel exposed. Vulnerable. Soft. Broken. Like a shattering of an exterior. Allowing the essence of being to bleed through. It never unfolds in any one way. It is as unique as the individual. It's beautiful.

The One You Are Looking For

2012-01-27T21:30:00.000-05:00

Mysore, India

"If you remain in the present moment, you will never get hurt. Forget about your past life. Forget about your future life. Unless your open your heart, unless you jump into the inner abyss, you are not going to become enlightened. Ultimately, you have to knock on your own door; you have to beg at your own door; you have to come back to yourself."

- Hindu Teaching

"The one you are looking for is the one who is looking." This saying has given profound meaning to me as of late. The search is over. I only need look inward. Utilizing the tools, such as yoga, meditation, chanting, prayer, etc., drive us deeper into ourselves. However, we must choose to do so. These practices make the season ripe for inner knowing and connection, but if we become enamored more with the ceremony than what we are looking toward it is easy to miss the mark. All in all, no matter, it is important that we simply make the effort.

I have clearly observed the array of follies and insecurities that can arise within, or maybe not so clearly. How quickly I can mistrust myself when rubbed up against certain external situations. In retrospect, I always end up a bit disappointed that I didn't trust the inner knowing present. It can be so easy to deny this wisdom. As I mature it becomes more evident that the answers don't lie anywhere beyond my reach.

“Truth undermines the self to which we so desperately cling. The truth is not hidden from us, we are hiding from it.” - Kabbalah

Thank God, I have the practice of yoga.

Through it all, as I dive inside, that is where the praise ends up going. God. Yes, even bringing up the word has a tendency to freak people out. As my relationship and comfort in relying on this internal wisdom has grown, I have found my relationship with God, or whatever you want to call it, exalts itself into an intimate space. It's personal. It's quiet. It speaks in whispers and little nudges. It's gentle.

There is never a need to boast or verbalize what it is we do to connect. It doesn't matter. There is no need for competition. We are all made of the same stuff. We are connected to the same source. Truth. Imposing any type of arrogance into the practices we do sucks the essence out of our true nature. We've missed the mark. I guess that too is part of the process.

At the end of the day I feel the importance of relaxing about it all because it is here, now, in these intimate moments, always has been, always will be.

Samurai's Creed

2012-01-27T04:53:00.001-05:00

Mysore, India

I have no parents; I make the heaven and earth my mother and father.

I have no home; I make awareness my dwelling.

I have no life and death; I make the tides of breathing my life and death.

I have no divine power; I make honesty my divine power.

I have no means; I make understanding my means.

I have no magic secrets; I make character my magic secret.

I have no body; I make endurance my body.

I have no eyes; I make the flash of lightning my eyes.

I have no ears; I make sensibility my ears.

I have no limbs; I make promptness my limbs.

I have no strategy; I make “unshadowed by thought” my strategy

I have no designs; I make “seizing opportunity by the forelock” my design.

I have no miracles; I make right action my miracle.

I have no principles; I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.

I have no tactics; I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.

I have no talents; I make ready wit my talent.

I have no friends; I make my mind my friend.

I have no enemy; I make carelessness my enemy.

I have no armor; I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.

I have no castle; I make immovable mind my castle.

I have no sword; I make absence of self my sword.

- Samurai's Creed

I love the idea of a creed. Words to live by. Words to put into practice. It takes vigilant skill to keep watch over the mind. To make every action a work of art. The above Samurai's creed drives the point home. Transforming circumstance into something higher. I love it.

Different Wells

2012-01-26T23:40:00.000-05:00

Green Hotel - Mysore, India

There are different wells within your heart.

Some fill with each good rain,

Others are far too deep for that.

In one well You have just a few precious cups of water,

That “love” is literally something of yourself,

It can grow as slow as a diamond If it is lost.

Your love should never be offered to the mouth of a

Stranger, only to someone

Who has the valor and daring

To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

Then weave them into a blanket

To protect you. There are different wells within us.

Some fill with each good rain,

Others are far, far too deep For that.

- Hafiz

I'm a Hafiz and Rumi junkie. There is not one thing they have written that hasn't moved me on some level. The idea of the ecstatic dance they lived in fascinates me. The above poem came in perfect timing. I am entering a stage where it has become ever more important to keep watch over where I fill my well, so to speak. Where I take my energy, and who I spend my time with. Most importantly, keeping those who have offered their souls, who have given courageously in friendship and in love, close to my heart. Never taking any of it for granted.

Synergy

2012-01-26T03:24:00.000-05:00

“The ancient intuition that all matter, all “reality,” is energy, that all phenomena, including time and space, are mere crystallizations of mind, is an idea with which few physicists have quarreled since the theory of relativity first called into question the separate identities of energy and matter. Today most scientists would agree with the ancient Hindus that nothing exists or is destroyed, things merely change shape or form; that matter is insubstantial in origin, a temporary aggregate of he pervasive energy that animates the electron.”

— Peter Matthiessen

A week into my trip I was asked to assist the first shift of Mysore classes. Point being, it's crowded here, extra hands are needed, rounds of authorized teachers are being asked. This is not a status thing, and at the same time, I am honored to participate. If my teacher asks, I say yes.

Being in the room, observing people of various age groups, nationalities, body types, backgrounds, and personalities, breathe and move through this transformational practice is an amazing sight. It is literally one of the most beautiful images I have set my eyes on. I don't exaggerate. It again validates why I do what I do, and how integral it has woven into my day to day life. I live better doing this practice. I feel more profoundly. At first it was a challenge to live with this heightened sensitivity. However, the more I have honored and trusted this space created, it has strengthened over time. I am able to connect to my higher wisdom. To experience it. To taste it. And, it never comes from a cerebral place. It lies deep down in my gut and into the chambers of my heart. A knowing. A pulsation.

This pulsation reverberates throughout the shala like a rhythmic heartbeat. Sometimes slow and steady. Other times fast and sharp. It's always a continuous march. As the hours progress a steam starts to rise. Much transformation happens here. Sometimes I get lost in it. More often I feel at home.

Unprecedented

2012-01-15T08:02:00.002-05:00

Practice today was one of those rare moments where everything felt like it fell into place. Doesn't happen very often, and when it does, it's like a little gift. One can never get too attached to these experiences, however, as well all know, they are fleeting.

With all that being said, there really is nothing like practicing here, and practicing with Sharath. I dunno if I can explain it. I'm not even sure if I can. He's simple in his approach, and it works. Translating the practice in way that goes beyond my understanding. I am not sure I want to. That would taint the experience. Just being in the space, enjoying the ride, is enough.

In Led Intermediate class today Sharath added a few unprecedented postures in Advanced A. Now that was interesting. What's up his sleeve I wonder? Hahaha. I can only imagine.

Complaining Solutions

2012-01-15T02:29:00.000-05:00

"Whenever you complain about something negative in your world,you reinforce your connection with that negativity. Your
complaint can actually focus your energy toward perpetuating
and empowering whatever you’re complaining about.
A much better strategy is to come up with a positive
alternative, and then to act on it. Instead of merely
reinforcing what is wrong, you have an opportunity to change
the situation for the better.
Complaints, because of their negative nature, are usually
met with some degree of defensiveness. Positive
alternatives, on the other hand, will naturally be met with
cooperation and appreciation.
The next time you have the urge to complain, stop and ask
yourself what it is you really want. Do you simply want to
complain or do you want to do something that will improve
the situation?
Somewhere within each complaint is a genuine desire to
improve the situation, but the complaint itself is never
enough to do that. So skip beyond the complaint and use your
efforts and resources to truly make a positive difference.
Make the choice not to aggravate a bad situation with your
complaints. Choose instead to transform it with your
positive thoughts, ideas and actions."

— Ralph Marston

Grounding

2012-01-15T01:52:00.000-05:00

"Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania. Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly backward into darkness."

-- Lao Tzu

It has taken a while to get grounded this trip to Mysore. I had a year of go, go, go, and when given the opportunity to truly power down, for the first time in my life, it has been a challenge. Consciously, I have chosen not to hang in the social scene as much. Which has proven invaluable. I like my time! I need to recharge.

Sharath has spoken on several occasions in regards to conserving energy when it comes to idle talk and excessive indulgence in any one area. I can appreciate this, and at the same time, I have come to realize there is a season for everything. There are instances when I feel more active and social and others where I feel more withdrawn and silent. I think it's good to honor both sides and be truthful with what is needed at any given time.

As I keep watch over my energy I am learning how easy it is to become distracted and scattered. Lessons that hold significant value. More and more, maintaining my center holds greater importance versus grasping for external confirmation and/or validation. Constant striving becomes a bottomless pit of reaching outward for value and we all know it doesn't start there.

Maintaining a peaceful equilibrium teaches what is truly important in life, and how that connects to my own internal state. The mind has a way of making things more complicated. The heart just wants to feel and be true to what arises in the moment. Acknowledging the part of myself that adds complication, as well as separation, strengthens my awareness to transform back to truly seeing things as they are.

I welcome this, and honor how the daily discipline sharpens the saw, cutting through illusions and delusions, that in turn, create further separation. We live in a time where joining together and abolishing illusory hierarchies that only lead to more suffering, not only to ourselves, but into the larger scope of humanity is of utmost importance. What is it all for? The time is ripe. We need only work this paradigm to its fullest. To trust and to experience what yoga is all about. Union. It's a choice. It doesn't matter if we practice for 1 hour a day or 10 hours a day, what difference does it make if we further divide and put ourselves on top of others?

No label, status, or pecking order comes even close to the truth of who we are. We must drop everything. We must shed the layers that have been built through generations and get back to the bare bones of what it means to live a life as one. We can't deny this truth any longer. What are we afraid of?

View Over Mysore

2012-01-11T12:41:00.002-05:00

My view over Mysore

"A yogic life illumined by devotional love requires conscious, diligent discipline on the yogī's or yoginī's part. It involves contemplation, meditation, study, service, attention to harmonious living, care for the body, mindfulness and other intentional practices. It is also a life infused with increasing joy, spontaneity and wonder lived in the warmth and boundlessness of the divine Heart. In a larger sense, the yogic life of love and devotion is the spiritual life in all its fullness."

-Exquisite Love: Heart-Centered Reflections on the Nārada Bhaktī Sūtra, by William K. Mahony

Two Things I Know For Sure

2012-01-09T06:55:00.000-05:00

"Always go with the choice that scares you the most because that's the one that is going to require the most from you." - Caroline Myss

There are two things I know for sure upon arriving to Mysore. One, I will practice Ashtanga yoga, and two, I will get a sinus infection. Yup. This is all I know for sure. Not even enlightenment is guaranteed, but blowing snot bubbles during led Intermediate class is. My shining moment. The annoying itch of the uncomfortable while practicing yoga seemed to be the theme of my first week, as it should be. The path of most resistance standing in my way give greater opportunity to dive inward, building mental strength, aligning to what is real, my determined spirit.

Banished to the corner my first three practices became the running joke. Sharath would point at me and then point to the corner space in front of his office offering only a mischievous grin. Not really the most optimal spot with having to practice perpendicular to the rest of the group, along with running traffic from the male practitioners coming and going from their dressing room. In reality, I'm simply grateful to be here.

What I've come away with is, bring on the discomfort. Why should I be too comfortable? What will I learn if I become attached to one spot in the shala? How will I grow? Can I still feel ease and equanimity in the challenge of being forced outside my comfort zone? If every opportunity to practice was the perfect scenario what would I learn? How will I experience what I am really made of? We never really know until we are forced to rise to it. One of my favorite quotes from Caroline Myss, "God never descends to fear, rise first, then God will meet you there."

Back home in Sweden, almost every opportunity to make practice harder came to the forefront over the past year. There were too many to count. I had to learn to move through the practice differently with an awareness that enabled me to feel every single bit of resistance in my body. No, not the most optimal set up, and one that I might have tried to avoid at all costs, but one that brought with it a new sense of strength that I was amazed to discover. The adaptability, in essence, gave more than it took, all I had to do was step through the fire, or in this case the cold. I found new meaning to the word tapas I might not have found otherwise.

On the other end of the scope, I am not saying we need to look for ways to suffer. No, that is never necessary, however when handed lessons of stepping into the uncomfortable, coming face to face with our vulnerability, what I have learned is it's not about powering up, but maybe it's about softening around.

"Like water, be like water," as Bruce Lee used to say.

A New Year in Mysore!

2012-01-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

In Mysore, India that is, for the NEW year. Is it really 2012 already??? Can hardly believe it. I'm a little late in the game but I'd like to wish all of you out there a Happy New Year! Once again I have been off the blogging train and am attempting to get back on board! I am always pleasantly surprised when I meet people, in person, who have been reading my blog. It's awesome to have the opportunity to connect with others in this way. I'd like to give a shout out to Julia from Russia who I met today! Hopefully you will read this. Hello to you! Nice to have met you!

Looking forward to another year of blogging! Looking forward to whatever 2012 has in store . . .

What is Mysore About?

2011-12-14T06:04:00.000-05:00

Great information on Ashtanga Yoga and the Mysore style of practicing! Have a look.

Winter Blues

2011-12-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

I survived November in Sweden! (Round of applause, please). This is no easy feat, let me tell you! What's strange is once I survived that God-forsaken month in this country, and December hit, everything started to turn a corner, and I'm not even in holiday overload. What's that about? Even my Mysore students have been more regular once December hit.

This new found energy hopefully, (cross fingers) will continue. You never can tell, but I'm grateful!

Ūrdhva Kukutāsana C into Vrksāsana

2011-12-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

Practice. Anything is possible, and IS. We are unlimited beings! Embrace it!

Is Yoga a Religion?

2011-12-11T13:08:00.001-05:00

Yoga Girl

2011-11-30T05:34:00.001-05:00

This video is classic. Made me laugh . . . "They call me big ba-ba . . ." Funny, funny, funny stuff.

Vetigo

2011-11-28T08:49:00.000-05:00

"The same stream of life that runs through the world runs through my veins night and day in rhythmic measure. It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth into numberless waves of flowers." - Rabindranath Tagore

Over the course of several months I've had episodes of vertigo. It wasn't until this morning when it felt downright unmanageable. I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills. For the most part I feel healthy. I do my best to sustain a healthy lifestyle and diet. Not going too much into one extreme or the other. Admittedly, this month has been challenging on various levels. Disappointments, loss, confusion, just to name a few. When it rains, it pours. A deeper part of myself knows much of these developments when it comes to external stressors have been made worse in my mind. I can become aggravated by too much mental energy. It drains me. For good reason. Probably why yoga practice is such good medicine. I can channel the energy down into the body. I can breathe. I can feel a sense of freedom and abandon as I flow. Taking this off the mat has another set of challenges. I do my best.

With the cold and darkness of November my sensitivities are through the roof. I'm cold constantly. Even when inside. For the first time, I think ever, I am feeling the deep affects of not having enough direct sunlight. I'm not pale (obviously) like most Scandinavians. I need more light. What to do? I have started taking Vitamin D without feeling much of a difference. On some level I know it's doing me good. I think there's a part of me who desires to continue with business as usual, but really, with the change of season, it seems to be calling me to take a step back, and ~~thrill,~~ chill. I'm pretty much being told the old way of being simply isn't working anymore. It's time to make changes. I can feel it on so many levels.

What's that definition of insanity again? Oh yeah, expecting a different result when doing more of the same . . .

Sometimes a loss of focus is just what's needed to get back into focus. It's time to change the internal landscape. I can travel the world a thousand miles over and I will still need to contend with the one, the only, myself. What's the use of talking a good game if not living it? If not inspiring to lead from the heart and acknowledging that, hey, it will be challenging, but why let it get me down?

Being the investigative reporter I am, I did a little thumbing around on vertigo.

"The cause of vertigo is 100% metaphysical! According to Lise Bourbeau, "Vertigo indicates that you perceive a loss in your psychological balance. You feel you've lost your footing or your grasp on what you thought was a balanced life, even though it wasn't meeting your true needs. You may feel anguished about making a decision regarding a new direction and, as a result, your dreams remain unfulfilled. It's possible that you have just experienced a dramatic change in some area of your life that appears not quite balanced and causes you either to feel a temporary imbalance or to have others judge you as unbalanced. You have a difficult time dealing with judgment of others, even if you refuse to acknowledge it."

The mental message being conferred to you by vertigo is that "You are receiving an important message from your body to acknowledge and honor your true needs and alter your notion of what compromises a balanced person and a balanced life. The longer you cling to the fear of being unbalanced, the more likely your life will become so." - Ibid (source)

Well, I could agree on some, if not most, of what it states above. I did have a period of feeling unsettled, not to mention a full blown round of acupuncture and bodywork sessions that brought up some interesting things to contend with to the surface. More on that later. Until then . . . finding balance in the face of change.

Vrśchikāsana A

2011-11-27T14:31:00.001-05:00

The Bowl Of Light

2011-11-26T08:30:00.000-05:00

I love books. Seriously, I have a book addiction. Even when I tell myself, okay, no more book buying, I find something that piques my interest. It's endless. Better yet, is when the books I buy are intriguing, insightful and thought provoking. Makes it worth the purchase. Doesn't really matter from what genre. I wanna be stretched, enlightened, and to feel more human through the books I read. The most recent, the above, The Bowl of Light, by Hank Wessleman. A book that delves into the life of a well known Kahuna, or holy man, shaman, from the indigenous culture of Hawai'i.

I came away from this book affirmed the indigenous people of our world are truly the store houses of lost wisdom in our supposed modern age. Motivated by this ancient wisdom, and the way of life living in balance with the Earth, seeing it as a holy temple, while connected to the energies and elements of the unseen world, hold great fascination for me. I find it interesting how through the course of our lives and learning, we are pulled out of this wisdom passed down through the ages. Not only that, but the wisdom we inherently share inside ourselves. I think many feel called to reach back, while getting in touch with what has been lost, or maybe not lost, but what we have forgotten.

If curious about another perspective, The Bowl of Light, is a heartfelt story of Hank's relationship with a Kanhuna, who taught him more than he could have imagined he would, when first encountering him. It gives hope, but in many ways, it woke me up to the power we hold within our very being and the mysteries that hold it together.

Risk

2011-11-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

"But if a person has had the sense of the Call — the feeling that there’s an adventure for him — and if he doesn’t follow that, but remains in the society because it’s safe and secure, then life dries up. And then he comes to that condition in late middle age: he’s gotten to the top of the ladder, and found that it’s against the wrong wall. If you have the guts to follow the risk, however, life opens, opens, opens up all along the line."
(Joseph Campbell)

Risks are a part of life if willing to take the leap. I've jumped. I've crashed, many times even. Hopefully, learning needed lessons. For some odd reason, playing it safe has always felt like more of a risk. I cringe at the site of stagnation. For better or worse, I've learned the value of stability too. It's important to lay down a strong foundation to rise upon. In life, however, I have fallen victim to building my house on sand. It's all part of the path I suppose. My faith has ebbed and flowed over the years and through it all I am always called back to it. There's really no better place to sit. There no better honor, in my experience, then placing everything into the hands of the greater hand at work. Every push and pull I've made in life has lead me here. Many times I forget. In my delusion I feel I'm the one in control. From this stance I loose every time. I can relax when it isn't me who is at the center of it all.

Yoga Class Gone Bad

2011-11-19T04:55:00.001-05:00

This came out quite a few years back. Damn, it's funny though.

Play

2011-11-18T13:54:00.001-05:00

Somehow I have forgotten this. :)))))))

Just So You Know, I'm Not Swedish . . .

2011-11-18T12:21:00.000-05:00

No. I am not Swedish. I've poked around in the blogosphere and to those who have graciously linked to my site. I thank you. However, in a few places, I've read that I'm Swedish, and well, not that I would be opposed to it, the reality is, I'm not. Never have been. I'm American born. American raised. Pretty much American through and through. So there you have it.

Why am I in Sweden? Well, my boyfriend is Swedish. Sweden is a lovely country, with loads to offer, so it really isn't a stretch to be here. Although, Sweden is synonymous with long, dark, cold winters. Brrrr. Not really my favorite thing about the place, hahaha.

Anyway, I just wanted to clear this up. I appreciate all of those who have linked to my blog or who have even mentioned me in passing. I can totally understand as to why many would mix this up and think that I'm Swedish. I live here. I work here, etc.

Cheers!

Good Teacher or Popular Teacher?

2011-11-18T07:16:00.001-05:00

Poses yet another interesting question in the post modern yoga industry. Do you want to be a good teacher or a popular teacher? Often what I have found is it is rarer for a teacher to say no to students than it is to yes in this day and age. Quantity seems to stand over quality.

Maty Ezraty, Running a Yoga Studio

2011-11-16T10:47:00.001-05:00

I enjoyed listening to this talk by Maty Ezraty, the former owner of Yoga Works. We've all heard the name, both hers, and the well known, groundbreaking, yoga studio she stared in Santa Monica, California, with her partner. She offers important tips and questions to consider before entering into the biz. Soak it in.