Getting a grip

When It Rains Book Review

2015-01-08T15:23:00.003-08:00

Okay, so I’m a bit of a mess today. I woke up with big puffy swollen eyes and a big red nose. Why you ask? Because I read “When it rains” last night. I finished the book within 24hours and let me tell you, it was a major tear jerker for me. I love a good cry every now and again from one of my books but this particular book really hit home for me. For anyone who doesn’t know I have a condition called Cystic Fibrosis and it’s a child disease as not many people make it to Adulthood.

Spoiler alert!

So this book has it all, trauma, death, love, heartbreak!

I really related to the character Asher and what happened to him, can you imagine knowing how your going to die and when? Let me tell you, its no walk in the park! I’m pretty healthy considering what I have and I sadly have outlived a few of my childhood CF friends so I know grief.

If you're looking for a good book that will bring you on an emotional roller coaster, then this is the book for you! I'm not an overly emotional person but this really brought them out of me.

I seriously recommend reading this book if you have not already! Its one of those books that you will always remember…

Love Love

Cherie x

Update and fashion blogging

2015-01-08T14:02:00.001-08:00

Evening All,

Quick update on my health, I'm sick! Boo :( but luckily its just a cold. I still haven't been an inpatient at Papworth since July 2013 and still going strong. I even got a new job outside of travel and tourism, however, 3 weeks ago my contract ended and they couldn't afford to keep me on, resulting in my re-employment at Monarch.

So I have been moaping around the house feeling sorry for myself, reading peoples fashion/lifestyle blogs and thought to myself, well here is something I could get in on seeing as I already have a blog.

I already have a shopping addiction that is not confined to just fashion, so why not talk about it and share with others?

Anyway, thats all for now beauties.

Love

Cherie Louise x

One year mark!

2014-07-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

Omg Its been exactly a year since my op to have a feeding tube put in.

I haven’t been an inpatient since the op. Do you know how good it feels to have not been in hospital in a whole year? I feel so strong and refreshed! Ahhhhh :D

So bloody happy…

Im 22 on Saturday so as well as celebrating beating CF and being on this planet for another year, I shall be celebrating the fact I’ve managed to stay out of Papworth for a full year! Boya…

Up to date

2014-07-09T11:17:00.003-07:00

So after a year of being completely miserable, hardly leaving the house, getting lost in reading books and pretending my life wasn’t my own I was forced to undergo surgery to help improve myself as I was not in the right frame of mind and seriously skinny.

I underwent a medical procedure to have a stomach feeding tube put in, not that I can’t eat but I find it hard to eat enough to maintain my weight or put weight on. Christmas 2012 I fell seriously ill and practically lost a whole stone, bearing in mind I was only about 7 and half stone to begin with; you can see why my family and friends where worried.

So in June 2013 I had the surgery to have a peg put in and a month later I was nearly a stone heavier but a whole lot happier! I honestly never realised until I started to feed at night, how much energy I never actually had. I was so surprised how much easier life was with the extra boost of energy. So a month later I was back at my old office working fulltime which I hadn’t done in at least 2 years.

Fast forward and it’s a year later and I’ve never been better, my bestie is back from Australia, I’m going out at weekends again, I’m earning my own money and I’ve just enrolled on a course. Don’t get me wrong things could better like I could be living abroad, won the lottery, found my soul mate or had a massive box of Harribo on my desk, but I’m happy and I guess that’s what is most important ay? J

Brick wall

2011-11-28T14:24:00.001-08:00

So Friday night I was with my mate and we got talking... One thing he said has stuck in my head, something about finding it hard to find someone to be with and love... But he did meantion that it wouldn't be nice for the other person, knowing I could go at any minute!

He obviously didn't mean to hurt my feeling but I just started to cry!

I mean all I heard was I'm going to hurt someone and who will want to be with someone like me...

It's messed my head up because iv always had that thought but never heard it from someone else :(

Cherie x

Monday bore

2011-11-14T03:59:00.001-08:00

Been home few days now :)

Oh dear, woke up with a cold.... Bloody English weather ha ha!

Been watching this morning, so sad... Poor man who's wife has dementia and she doesn't know who he is :( married for 50 years and his wife is there in body but not soul... He still supports her but has now found new love? Good on him... Nobody deserves to be alone!

Cherie x

Home timeeeeeee!

2011-11-14T03:58:00.001-08:00

Finally home, yays!

So happy, made my own fry up and tea. Simple things make me happy ha ha...

But not back to work just yet.

Anyway bath time

Cherie x

Worst week ever!

2011-11-14T03:56:00.001-08:00

Bad bad bad bad baddd week!!!

Cant believe the amount that has happened over this hospital admission....

Errmm Afternoon all,

Came to Papworth on the Wednesday for a check up but id only just got over food poisoning and a cold so thought id risk the clinic see what they say. Kinda wish I didnt as iv been in for two weeks now :S bad times....

The past week has been a challenge to say the least, first the doctors start to go on about getting a Peg feeding tube as my weight has dropped and then they drop the T word on me (Transplant) however my doctor has concerns asI have not been clinic enough and my weight is low as well as high sugar levels due to CFRD soI would not be suitable for the list :S This shocked me slightly asI always assumed onceI got too ill id go on the list.... Hmmm not that simple!!

So I need to put weight on, control my sugar and go clinic more.... I have a long road ahead.

The next set of beautiful newsI received wasI had a bad fever, guess why? No... Well my port was infected so it had to come out! After 10 years of loyal service it was done :(I was then faced with my old enemy CANULAS! Booooo...

Then of course on Sunday morning my grandad passed away.

So been a bad week to say the least! But my port is now out, bit sore but oh well... I now have my port on the table beside me though haha, strange little thing. I had to be awake when they took my port out though, soooo stressfulI cant believeI did it though.

Anyway ta for nowww dinner time yummmm hospital food :D

Cherie x

RIP grandad

2011-11-14T03:54:00.001-08:00

Morning,

So the other night my cousin text me to say that my Grandad who had Cancer had taken a turn for the worst... All the family went up to my nans and stayed the night.

I then woke up to a call from my mum telling me he had passed away. :(

I actually do not think iv ever been this sad before, i'v never lost a close member of the family but to loose my grandad and to be miles away in hospital when it happens its just the worst experience i'v ever had. All I wanted was my family but instead I had nurses and needles!

We all new he was going as two weeks ago he was taken into hospital where he stayed for a week as he was very ill but grandad being the tough Scotsman he is refused to take his meds and eat until they let him home so last week he was sent home and the nurses would come to his house to see him but he was a shadow of the man I new and loved.

He had MRSA so even if I was back in Luton with the family there was no way I could have been with him at the end but I now just need to get back and see nan make sure she is fine. :(

Funeral is on the 23rd, I'm not ready for this!

RIP

Cherie x

Past friends..

2011-11-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

Good evening all,

Was sitting here reminiscing over some of my past and present CF friends.

I’ve met a few great people along the way, some with CF and some without but the ones without iv not seen much of since.

The first friend I made was Khazina; she was 2 years older than me with CF... We would meet up at midnight and munch on food and gossip when we were in together. She was so clever and her family where lovely, her older brother also had CF but he passed away when he was a child. Unfortunately she caught MRSA and passed away when she was 16. Khazina was my first CF friend and also the first of many that passed away, her family built a well in Pakistan in memory of her which at the time I didn’t understand but as I’m older now I understand more.

I then met a little madam called Jordan, she was probably the most influential person I have ever met and anyone who knew her would say the same thing. She was naughty and always up to something but you know what that’s exactly why I loved her and still do! She was with me when the nurses told me about Khazina and it actually hurt less with Jordan there as I had someone to talk to and she knew what I was going though. Jordan’s about 2 years younger than myself but she like most of us was very mature for her age as again she had to put up with a lot and she was always a lot more ill then myself. I remember she would come into my room every morning just to say hello and wake me up and at night she would sneak in to watch TV or gossip.

Jordan unfortunately like many patients with CF she recently passed away in March, I think out of all of the girls iv met her death hit the hardest. She wasn’t yet 16 so she’s the youngest but also she was the one I was closest too. I hadn’t seen her much as she was still at Luton while I now go to Papworth but I still miss her so much and if I sit and think about her too much I can’t help but shed a tear.

I then was introduced to Georgina via Khazina, she was the more vocal and independent patient I met and became friends with. I wasn’t in with Georgina the same amount of time as the others but we still had some great times. The nurses at this point didn’t really agree with the patients with CF mixing due to cross infection at the time I just thought they was being moody and mean I obviously understand more now but when you’re a child or young teen you just think they are out to get you LOL. One time we was in the nurses kicked up a fuss so we decided to have a wheelchair race, was so funny I think there are still small dents in the wall where we crashed :S. Georgina is a month older then myself and she passed away in December 2008. We were at the same college but she was in hospital so much that I don’t think she was even there a full week.

I have met a few other CF patients in my time but i never really got close to them as they had been in at different times then myself and we was at different schools and what not.

One patient I met I actually went to infant school with her but I had no idea she had CF till a lot later in life. We both used to meet up at break time and have a mars bar with some Creon. I then saw her in clinic one day in Luton but as we had never been inpatients together I really had no idea that Jenni had CF too. She’s also at Papworth too but I don’t see her much as patients don’t mix, thankfully Jenni although having CF and all the troubles it causes she’s going strong.

The last actual CF patient I met was Ellis, she is a complete inspiration... I also met her in Luton on the ward one day, meeting Ellis was different as some the stuff she did was quite different to what I was doing at the time and still being young I was getting used to all the things that came with CF. About a year ago Ellis had a lung and heart transplant, she’s the first CF I new that had a transplant and she shared her experience via pictures and FaceBook updates. This showed a glimpse of what she was going though and how she recovered. She’s now living it up with her new lungs and just trying to get back to normal life which is great!

You meet so many wonderful people in life and I think of everyday as a blessing. If I didn’t have CF I would never have got to meet these inspirational people and my life wouldn’t have turned out the same.

Ta for now

Cherie x