Lisa Light

Pondering The Question, "If You Were In A Position of Power What Would You Do?"

2012-01-11T00:23:00.000-08:00

Pondering The Question, "If You Were In A Position of Power What Would You Do?"

This is a Hub written in reply to the above question. It's a "lighter-side" piece of writing, to say the least. Still, there's maybe just a shred of "serious" in it, at least in some ways (sort of).

"Chick Flicks"

2011-09-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

Although I'm first to tell anyone that the way that I think usually doesn't match what "the books" say, as far as "how women think" goes; if there's one thing I have in common with a lot of other women it's that I like to keep most (MOST) of my movies limited to those that would fall under the category of "chick-flicks". I do like the occasional good (keyword: "good") drama (either without violence or else in which violence has been kept to a minimum but still gives the viewer a good idea of what has gone on). Completely inappropriate for a grown-up of my age, I tend to count a lot of kids' animated films among my favorites. I guess that's because now that I'm grown up (and "of-so-much-more-sophisticated" and "intellectually mature"), I now see meaning in kids' animated movies (especially fairy tales and "destined-to-become-a-classic" movies for kids).

I hate to account for my own taste in movies by imagining that, maybe, once life has put a person through enough ringers that person simply wants "nothing" movies that offer a few laughs, some music (maybe), and an ending that leaves the viewer feeling kind of (or very) happy; rather than feeling s/he just had the life (along with every shred of cheer) sucked of out of him/her. Still, there's a big part of me that suspects this could be the case.

In any case, I'd like to point out that fluffy-headed movies aren't always for fluffy-headed people, and that the people who prefer them to SOME movies that are out there have just sometimes had enough music-less drama, heavy suspense, and mindless "action" to make them long for sometimes mediocre, and yet uplifting, romantic comedies and sweet characters in the form of clown fish and princesses of one sort or another.

Some Challenges and Issues of Selecting the Right Kind of Mother-of-the-Bride Dress

2011-09-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

Some Challenges and Issues of Selecting the Right Kind of Mother-of-the-Bride Dress

Of Dolls, Little Girls, Friends, and Life

2010-07-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

Of Dolls, Little Girls, Friends, and Life

Valentine's Day - The Meaning, Memories, Sweetness, and Occasional Insignificance of It

2010-01-15T23:12:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day - The Meaning, Memories, Sweetness, and Occasional Insignificance of It

When Holiday Decorations Should Show Up - According to Me

2009-12-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

Just before the Fourth of July I figured I'd run into HomeGoods to see if there were any little extras I could put out to add some new holiday decorations. There were NO Fourth of July items whatsoever - not even napkins. There were, however, a bunch of Jack O' Lantern dishes.

I haven't been happy seeing Halloween aisles pop up in stores in August over recent years, so even though I loved the Halloween dishes at HomeGoods (and will probably go back and see if there are any left) I found it ridiculous that they were out at the end of June.

I have a very strict schedule for when holiday decorations should show up in stores and when they should show up on houses. If everyone would follow this schedule the world would be a better place:

Here's when stores should put decorations out:

Halloween: September 1

Thanksgiving: October 1

Christmas: November 1
(That doesn't mean people can't buy gifts earlier, but decorations shouldn't be picked over by Thanksgiving.)

New Years Eve: December 1

Valentine's Day: January 14

St Patrick's Day: March 1 (nobody needs more time than that for this "holiday")

Easter: March 1 (but under no circumstances should St. Patrick's Day and Easter decorations conflict on houses in neighborhoods; if Easter will come in March the decorations have to wait until March 18 or else the St Patrick's Day decorations should be skipped that year)

Memorial Day: May 1 (again, no more time is needed than that)

Fourth of July: June 1

and this brings us to Labor Day (no decorations) and then Halloween. (Well, it actually brings it to my son's August birthday, but that's my own personal thing.)

When it comes to putting up those decorations on/in houses:

Halloween: October 1 (The petunias still look good in September, and petunias and mums conflict.) Decorations should come down on November 2 in the morning, which allows November 1 as one more day of cute pumpkins.

Thanksgiving: November 1 (Nobody needs ceramic pilgrims up longer than three weeks or so.) All Thanksgiving decorations should be taken down the day after Thanksgiving. Room has to be made for Christmas, and nobody wants to look at those pilgrims for one more day.

Christmas: December 1 (If decorations go up on December 1 and stay up until January 1 or a few days later that's a whole month. That's enough. There is one exception, and that is a traditional green wreath with a bow is still acceptable through the end of January. ) (My neighbor leaves her wreath up until she puts up a St. Patrick's Day decoration in March. This is just all wrong - in my humble opinion.)

Inside the House, New Years Decorations: Up December 31. Down January 2.

Valentine's Day: February 1 (This holiday doesn't require more than a couple of weeks of pink and red decorations.) Valentine decorations really should be whipped down late at night on Valentine's Day, although - I suppose - Feburary 15 would be ok.

St. Patrick's Day: March 1 if there's no conflict with Easter. (Again, nobody needs more than two weeks or so of St. Pat decorations.) Decorations ought to come down on the evening of March 17.

Easter: March 18 unless Easter falls in March, in which case there should be no St Patrick's Day decorations, and Easter decorations should go up on March 1. Easter decorations should come down the day after Easter. I've selected my March 18 date for non-March Easters because most people like to leave the Spring decorations a little longer than other decorations are left. March 18 gives an April Easter a couple of extra weeks (and helps people feel as if Spring is REALLY on the way that much sooner).

Memorial Day: May 24 Putting up a few flags, bows, or red and white flowers the week before Memorial Day ought to do it. Once June 1 arrives Memorial Day decorations don't really look appropriate.

Fourth of July: Up June 20 (which helps prepare people for the big day and keeps the festive mood for a little longer). All non-flag decorations should be down on July 6, which allows that one extra day after the holiday. One small flag may remain for an additional five days (or throughout July if it looks particularly good).

and once again, we're back to my son's August birthday.

If everyone followed this schedule we wouldn't have those neighborhoods that have old Christmas decorations, Valentine decorations, St. Patrick's Day and Easter eggs hanging from bare branches in February and March.

and - for goodness sake - I wish those people on the next street over would get that string of lights off their steps before next Christmas.

Understanding How Women Think

2009-12-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

An online writing site offered the following title to writers: "Understanding the Female Mind". I, personally, am not a big fan of calling girls and women "females", but I'll overlook that for now. It always amazes me that some people seem to believe there is something complicated or spooky about the "female mind". It has always seemed to me that my mind works pretty much the way a computer works, and I thought that way long before PC's became part of most people's households. Operating on logic and reason, I've never seen any confusing or spooky about how I think; but I've always been quite aware that there are plenty of people who don't seem to understand my thinking. So, objectionable title or not, I wrote the following article:

As the proud of owner of a female mind, I've discovered that understanding a woman's thinking is far less of a challenge for people who don't have preconceived (and incorrect) ideas about how women are "supposed to" think.

Women, like men, are not "one big club" of individuals who "all think alike". Whenever I've read any books that try to offer information on different ways of thinking between men and women, I've found my own approaches to thinking listed under the men's column. Upon considering what such books claim to know and thinking about some of the men in my life, I've also discovered that many of the men I know think in ways some books attribute to women. As the mother of two sons and one daughter, I've also noticed that neither of my sons fits completely into the kind of thinking often attributed to men nor does my daughter's thinking match that attributed to girls/women. Of course, my little circle of family and friends does not a scientific study make, but these are people whose thinking I know well enough to know that the books about how men and women think are simply not always (and in some cases, if ever) correct.

It is not for me to attempt to (or even want to) refute science that has shown differences in male and female brains. Most of us have observed that once children are past their earliest years and before they reach maturity there are clearly many differences in how they think. I did not happen to see any differences in my children when they were babies and toddlers. Differences appeared gradually, once they got past their toddler years. In the case of many of those differences, however, it was often a matter of preferences rather than the thinking process, itself. Even the seemingly obvious differences that divide the genders at adolescence and in the teen years when hormones so often "rule the day" may be related to behavior and decisions but not necessarily thinking style.

From what I've observed about men and women, those who are emotionally balanced and reach maturity often think far more similarly than so many of those books would have us believe. What, then, makes so many studies lead to the conclusion that, in general, there are distinct differences in the thinking between men and women? Sure, brains of each gender may process some things differently, but does that always have to mean that similar thinking cannot be reached through different processes? I don't believe it always does have to mean that, simply because I know too many men and women who think alike in so many ways.

So, what accounts for differences that appear when gender studies are performed, and why do so many people seem to believe that women's minds are different from men's? With regard to the question about studies, I believe part of the explanation is that studies are performed on people who have already been nurtured (or not nurtured) in one direction or another. Studies deal in people who already exist - not in people's potential. I believe that studies more reflect a very high percentage of less-than-ideal nurturing of all types of thinking than they do innate gender differences in potential to reach a universal "style" of thinking. That's not saying that a good portion of people don't receive excellent nurturing. It is just saying there is the chance they don't receive perfectly balanced nurturing. Depending on the child, birth order, parents, and family circumstances; children can be impacted more by one parent than the other and often admire the thinking of one parent more than the other. At least some of approach to thinking is modeled after one or both parents. The point here is, again, not to refute that there are differences between men's and women's brains; but that there is at least the chance that the impact of those differences may be exaggerated by some people (even scientists).

Why is it, then, that so many husbands, kids (especially teens), and even some other women have such difficulty understanding the thinking of women? Why does the guy who throws his dirty socks around and wants to eat in the living room think his wife's preference for clean, tidy, home home is unreasonable? Why do some kids respect their somewhat emotionally distant father more than they may respect their kinder, gentler, mother? Who do people give their elderly aunt or grandmother a foot bath for her birthday, rather than an Mp3 player? Why are women more often the spenders of the house, while men are more often the "cheap skates"? Why do so many women appear not to "stand up for themselves" to rude people? Why do women tend to cry more often? Why do women so often save (forever) every picture their children have drawn?

As that proud owner of a female mind, I can only speak for myself (although I have enough women friends to know that I'm not alone, even if I can't speak for all women). As a woman (and as one who has, I think, a healthy self-esteem), I tend to believe that women are more "others centered", probably because they are the gender that has, and usually raises, the children. Women are often "Big Picture" thinkers, but they also need to focus on the vast array of details involved with the "building" of little humans and families. They need to be concerned with the mental, emotional, and physical well being and development of children, but they also need to be concerned with having those children fit into society, be linked to history, and have a future.

In the mini-society of the home, women must try to be teachers, doctors, psychologists, social workers, clergy, housekeepers, politicians, leaders, and historians. In their wish to offer their family a peaceful home, and with sometimes better developed ability to control anger or manage their own exhaustion, women often believe, for example, that table tops should be left clear "for anyone who needs to use them". Men often view table tops as "mine to use as I want without having to worry about moving my stuff". Whether nurtured as peace keepers or lacking in testosterone, women who are angry often believe it is more important, healthier, and more respectable to control anger than to express it. When it comes to "not standing up for themselves", women often have a good perspective on what is truly important in life; and so may overlook other people's behavior or at least choose to "let it go" in the interest of not fanning a hostile situation. Hostile situations are never healthy for children, and women's maternal instinct is often strong enough to make them muster up the determination to do what is "right" rather than what they'd like to do.

Tuned in the emotional needs of children and to the fact that a wholesome and happy home environment contributes to children's emotional development, women are more often likely to view purchases for the children or the home as "important" and "necessary", while men often believe that man can live by bread (and heat, electricity, and a roof over head) alone. Some men are particularly tuned in to "territory", while many women are more tuned in to the mini-society of the family.

Today's women and men were yesterday's girls and boys. Although girls and boys are often different now than they used to be, a good number of yesterday's boys were rough-and-tumble, macho, kids. The phenomenon of today's "Mean Girls" aside, yesterday's girls were often gentler and more tuned in to other people's needs. Women often remember how important is was to have a new dress for the prom. Yesterday's girls often remember, too, how rough adults could be on their brothers or classmates. As a result, women can often be more tuned in to those not-so-obvious emotional needs of kids. Women who want to take good care of themselves in order to remain attractive wives and good role models for their children can be viewed as "selfish" if they spend on themselves. Women who won't (or can't) spend on themselves are often viewed as having "let themselves go" and "not caring".

Women are often very concerned with the security and future of their family. That can relate to emotional security, the security of being a capable adult who manage a life well, financial security, or the security of having a family legacy. This "security awareness" can explain why women save their mother's 1970's salad bowl set and all the drawings their children created. Images of great-grandchildren finding a couple of trunks in the attic can make women write poems for their children, save favors from weddings, and even preserve dead flowers from proms.

"Security awareness" can be the reason women spend on BOTH the prom dress AND that extra life insurance. It can also be the thing that makes a wife tell her husband to go ahead and buy that car he wants (because women often believe that a happier Dad is a healthier Dad; and they not only want their children to have their father as long possible, but they care, too, about his emotional wellbeing and health).

Just because women are often others-centered, that doesn't mean that they do not have their own healthy self-esteem or dreams for themselves. Being others-centered, women are more likely to put aside those dreams. Caring about not making other people (especially children) feel bad, women often hide those dreams or pretend they don't matter much. Being others-centered, and loving their children as normal mothers do, most women don't hold a shred of resentment about things they've sacrificed for their families, and most will say they have absolutely no regrets. This mixture of feelings towards their dreams, however, is something that women often must process themselves because husbands, children, and even other women don't always understand them.

Single, married, mothers, grandmothers, or none of the above - women are humans. They like music not matter how old they are. They enjoy their work (or not). They enjoy their hobbies and interests. Most want enough money to live comfortably. Sometimes people can forget that women are people - not just mothers, wives, or daughters. All people are different, and all women are different.

I tend to think that solid, steady, thinking of so many women has more to do with their lack of raging hormones (testosterone, to name on in particular) than with the presence of them. PMS and pregnancy have never, for me, brought any particularly dramatic thinking or mood changes (although I did once have a rug I hated and would notice that I both complained about it more and thought about the urgency of getting a new one more at a certain time of the month).

The crying thing: Women may appear to cry more than men do because women's feelings for their children can be overwhelming to them. Women may have more reasons than men to have "sentimental crying", and girls generally grow up enjoying a good sentimental cry, as well as feeling free to cry for sentimental reasons. Women often cry after they have been extremely angry, and I assume that has to do with not really having the testosterone to support aggression or hostile confrontations and feelings. These two types of crying probably contribute to the observation that women seem to cry more than men.

I would assert that women are not always as "good" at "processing" rapid rises and drops in anger as men are. I would also assert that women have more reasons and feel freer to have sentimental cries. Some sentimental crying is also probably related to many women's being very tuned in to people and emotions. On the other hand, with regard to crying in sadness, I can only speak for myself when I say that I do not cry at funerals and generally do not cry when I'm sad. I do, however, schedule the occasional "good cry" for myself when I'm alone and not at risk of being seen or heard. Many women, like me I suspect, would say they actually identify more with Star Trek's "Vulcans" than with the more emotionally-driven humans of that series.

Most of the time, when someone doesn't understand the "female brain" it is because the woman in question has done something he sees as either "uncharacteristic" or "strange". "Uncharacteristic" can seem to be the issue when a gentle, feminine, woman acts stronger or "less feminine" than someone would expect. It can also seem uncharacteristic when a woman who has remained patient and controlled her emotions for a long time is suddenly no longer able to do that and exhibits a demonstration of emotion that is, in fact, uncharacteristic for her. "Strange" can show up when, say, a middle-aged mother who chose not to date when her kids were young suddenly shows up with a boyfriend. "Strange" can also become the issue if a woman just decides to take some time for herself and do something like read a book, listen to music, take a trip, or even go without make-up for a few days.

As a woman who doesn't like to re-hash problems unless there is the hope of finding a solution, and as one who tries to find answers when someone else talks about his problems; I dispute that women "just like to talk it out" while men "think talking means expecting a solution". I know enough men who like to re-hash or else have long conversations, and enough women who approach talking as I do, to believe that assertion is a weak one. I tend to suspect any differences among any individuals has more to do with the maturity, self-sufficiency, and sense of responsibility of the individual (or lack of any of those) than with gender.

As a woman who waits outside stores if a companion is shopping when I am not, I also dispute the belief that being a woman and "window shopping" go hand in hand.

As the proud owner of that female brain I mentioned earlier, it is clear to me that (at least in my case), I have a heavy reliance of the use of words and verbal communication, as well as being very in tune with my own and others' emotions. I, personally, let no emotion go unprocessed; and I process emotions through words, logic, reason, and analysis because, as a mother and as an adult, I cannot afford to operate under the influence of unnecessary emotion.

I've always approach life and parenting with logic and reason, but using logic and reason requires factoring in all available information; and I believe, for a lot of women there is more of that information to factor in because of women's tendency to consider the past, present, and future of others, as well as themselves. The impression that men are more sensible and logical may come from the tendency of men to be able to learn sensible rules and abide by them. For example, a sensible rule is not to spend on a new prom dress when a family is experiencing money problems. The sensible thing would be to save the money instead. That sensible rule, however, is based only on the concept of what is wise in terms of money and does not factor in what is wise in terms of allowing a treasured and wonderful daughter to be the only one of her friends to wear a used dress or not go to the prom at all.

Women have often grown up in a world that didn't always seem to realize that they may have always thought very much like boys or men did. They may live in a world that doesn't understand why "a nice little lady like she" would act so strong, so independent, or so angry. Women live in a world that sometimes thinks they can't possibly be as logical thinking as men, or that they are hopelessly at the mercy of PMS and pregnancy hormones. Throughout history they have most often been the people who nurtured the greatest leaders, scientists, and philosophers - and yet there are still people who believe that those leaders, scientists, and philosophers "just inherited good minds".

Whether they feel victimized, oppressed, or misunderstood, themselves; or are simply particularly aware of how many people (boys, men, girls, or women) have lived, or live, lives of victimization, oppression, or being misunderstood; women can often see themselves as "defenders of the victimized" or "defends of the misunderstood and oppressed". They may see themselves as warriors of sorts, or as executives in positions of making decisions that do not necessarily make sense to people who don't see the big picture.

Secure, mature, women appreciate and value their relationships with other women because they know that only other women truly understand what it's like to be a woman. Insecure, immature, women compete with other women as a result of their insecurity and immaturity.

Understanding the female brain doesn't have to be difficult. All it would really take is simply asking the woman in question why it is she thinks any particular thing. With that all-too-commonly-mentioned tendency to use those verbal skills, most women would - if asked - be more than happy to use those skills to explain their own reasoning and logic. The trouble is it is a rare person who wants to take the time to explain to someone who isn't interested in listening, or who has already decided that whatever the explanation is it cannot possibly be as valid as his own.

Grown women often have partners who just automatically assume they know more than women, parents who believe they know more than their grown child, teen and grown kids who believe they know everything (and certainly more than their mother), teachers who believe mothers can't possibly be objective about their own child, and doctors who believe a woman's concerns about her own health cannot be valid because she has no medical degree. Women frequently deal with the day-to-day, subtle and not-so-subtle, bias in the workplace and/or business world. Because of all these things that women live with on a regular basis, many have learned not to even bother trying to explain their reasoning to any number of people, including their partners. Many, instead, simply gain support from other women, who - at least much of the time - understand perfectly how the "female mind" works.

A Woman's Right to Gender Equality

2009-10-16T03:31:00.000-07:00

http://www.helium.com/items/1355466-womens-equality-equality-for-women-womens-rights-equal-rights-for-women

Naming A Daughter

2009-09-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

One gift I give will be your name.

A classic name endures,

and brings to mind stability.

So I will choose a classic name.

Self-respect and dignity -

two gifts I hope you'll get from me -

are messages your name should send.

So I must choose a lovely name.

Power, strength, and solid sense;

but also grace and elegance,

a name that you will not outgrow.

So I must choose a perfect name.

With how I hope you'll see yourself,

with all the things I hope for you,

and all the things a name should mean,

there's just one name for you,

Katherine Christine.

A Mother's Simple Advice

2009-04-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

A Mother's Simple Advice

What do you see when you look up at the stars?

2009-04-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

What do you see when you look up at the stars?

Turbo Jam - It's All Good As Far I'm Concerned

2009-03-31T17:33:00.001-07:00

Turbo Jam: Fun Fitness Program for the Otherwise "Non-Gym Inclined"
A positive review of the DVD fitness program, Turbo Jam, sold by Beachbody.com
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1525269/turbo_jam_fun_fitness_program_for_the.html

Do you agree that domestic science should be brought back in to school( eg;teaching kids about how to do their own...

2009-03-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

Do you agree that domestic science should be brought back in to school( eg;teaching kids about how to do their own...

Why do girls go to the bathroom in pairs or groups?

2009-03-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

Why do girls go to the bathroom in pairs or groups?

Choosing Formal Dresses - Tips and Advice

2009-03-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

Choosing Formal Dresses - Tips and Advice

Just Some Personal Silliness About Wine Glasses

2008-11-05T02:25:00.000-08:00

I don't buy a bottle of wine all that often, and a move separated me from my belongings for a while. It was Summer, so I bought a bottle of wine here or there, and I didn't have any wine glasses. I didn't want to buy any because I knew I'd be reunited with my stuff. I tried drinking wine from coffee mugs - really kind of stupid feeling. Then I tried drinking it out of small orange juice glasses, which, somehow, made me feel like derelict. (I don't know why I think derelicts drink chardonnay out of sparkling, clear, cut-glass, juice glasses; but apparently that's what I think.)

I mentioned to my sister that I was drinking wine out of juice glasses, and she agreed that doing such a thing was enough to make a person feel like a derelict. The next time she showed up she brought me two long-stemmed glasses. That was much better, until I broke one of them. It shouldn't have mattered because I still have one, but who wants one wine glass?

I then decided to buy two wine glasses that had less fragile stems, but I saw what I thought was a twin to the singleton glass I had at home. So, I bought two shorted stemmed glasses, and one long-stemmed twin to the lonely one. I got home and discovered that the twin really wasn't a twin, so at this point I had two shorter stemmed glasses (good) and two unmatched, long-stemmed, ones (very disturbing to my orderly brain) - so disturbing, in fact, that even though I bought two bottles of wine a few weeks ago I haven't opened either of them. That's because it's too upsetting to 1) figure out which of my less than perfect glasses to use, 2) be reminded of all the lopsidedness of whatever glasses I have, and 3) be reminded that I need to decide whether to go buy a twin for the recently purchased twin, which would leave me with two short-stemmed glasses, two long-stemmed ones - and the one that doesn't have a partner.

It has occurred to me that I should buy a whole set for myself, give all the losers I have to someone else, and figure out - by the way - how much longer it will be before I can be reunited with my "real" belongings.

Oh - it's enough to make me open BOTH of those bottles of wine and drink them for breakfast!!

2008-11-03T19:43:00.001-08:00

ELECTION DAY REMINDER

If you believe your candidate is winning don't take that for granted.

If you believe your candidate is not winning don't
create a self-fulfilling prophecy by not voting.

VOTE

Also, don't forget that the presidential election is not the only thing on which your vote is needed.

On Feminity

2008-10-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

When I had the idea of setting up a site aimed at, and dedicated to, women I thought about what is already "out there" that is aimed at women.

There are, of course, all the sites and publications that are aimed at being the mother of young children. Well, I have my experience being the mother of young children; but at this point in my life I'm the mother of two growns sons and one grown daughter. Some things aimed at women focus on cooking (never my thing, whether I'm a woman or not) and decorating (nice, but not something I've ever spent a lot of time reading about). Being a mother (of young or grown children), cooking, and decorating are, of course, part of a lot of women's lives - but they are only isolated aspects of women's lives.

On the other hand, there are sites/publications focusing on career women. Again, however, a career is one, isolated, aspect of some women's lives.

Then, too, there sites and publications that deal with women's health. Obviously, any woman needs to be informed about women's health issues; but, again, health is only one aspect of life. Besides, some health issues women have are health issues men also have; and I didn't start a site to focus on reproductive-system-associated issues, osteoporosis, or even the fact that heart attack symptoms can be different for women than men.

There are lots of sites and publications dealing with women's equality and rights; and although equality and rights are a thread that have always run through my own life, I have to say that women's lives aren't always about equality and rights. Sometimes there is little equality and few rights, regardless of what any laws say. Also, however, sometimes women's lives are about music, art, and four-year-old's birthday parties.

There are, of course, sites that focus on "Calendar Girl" pictures (but those aren't for most women). At the same time, some women's sites lean a little more in the "anti-man" direction than most women would prefer to.

The world is full of sites and publications that focus on the dire need to lower our cholesterol and increase our calcium intake. There are more than enough women's health sites, recipes, parenting advice, and sites/publications that deal with the the uglier things with which women often must deal.

Sometimes, though, life for women isn't about what's wrong, what may go wrong, or what's ugly. Women's lives are often about what is right, what may go right, what has gone right, and what is beautiful. Life for women is sometimes about being powerful, important, or strong. Sometimes it's about being sure enough that we are powerful and strong to be able to appreciate what is
whimsical and even childish.

We live in a time when little girls outgrow Disney princesses and pink daisies at younger and younger ages. Girls today are too often sent messages that the only thing that matters is catching the most eyes by showing the most skin. On the other hand, sometimes they're told that the only way to be equal to boys and men is to act like them. Then, too, now, more than ever in the past, young girls grow up to believe that all they ever want/need in life is to have babies. At the same time, anyone who spends any time online is likely to discover that the world is still surprisingly full of misogynists (both men and women), who hang onto the beliefs that girls and women are not, and can never be, deserving of equal place in this world to men.

I have other sites about other things, but I wanted this site to be about some of the things that I, as a not-so-young woman in 2008, find make a heart lighter. I like to think I'm fairly intelligent, and I know - without a doubt - that I'm pretty strong (even tough). My life has been far from an easy one; and, as middle-aged as I am, I still battle daily with bias and discrimination. I don't just come from the "Gloria Steinhem generation". I'm a part of it. In fact, if there were "cards" for "carrying" I'd be a "card-carrying" member of it. (Don't let the pink daisies and obsession with Disney princesses fool you.)

See - that's the thing: Once upon a time our mothers were expected to be "only housewives". Then my generation can along and decided that if women were "fake men" they might have a chance at equality in this world. They had to try to be "fake men" because nobody would listen "feminine" women back in those days. Somewhere between then and now, however, it seems that what is truly "feminine" has been forgotten and has been replaced by something that really isn't what true femininity is about.

While this site may look like a potpourri of conflicting messages about femininity, it really isn't. The real message is this: Young women, if you're out there, I want you to know that life can be about strength, power, and intelligence; and still have room for a handful of pink daisies and the songs of your favorite Disney princesses.

Ten Women Famous for Scientific Endeavors

2008-10-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

The following list is limited to ten names, and it is limited to scientific endeavors. In spite of lack of equality for women throughout history, there are more names and fields of endeavor where these come from.

France Anne Cordova, 1947

Astrophysicist

Marie Curie, 1867-1934

Nobel Prize 1903 Physics, 1911 Chemistry

Irene Joliot-Curie, 1897-1956

Nobel Prize, Chemistry, 1935

Rosalind Franklin, 1920-1958

physical chemist, molecular biologist

Maria Geoppert-Mayer, 1906-1972 (Nobel Prize)

Physics, Mathematics

Winifred Goldring, 1888-1971

paleontologist and geologist

Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin, 19910-1994

Nobel Prize, Chemistry, 1964

Lise Meitner, 1878-1968

Nuclear Fission

Maria Mitchell, 1818-1889

Astronomer, First woman member of American Academy of Arts and Sciences (1848)

President, American Association for the Advancement of Science.

Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin, 1910-1994

Nobel Prize, Chemistry, 1964

Mary Ward, 1827-1869

Microscopy, one of the three women on mailing list of Royal Astronomical Society

15 Tips for Becoming a Strong, Independent, Woman

2008-10-10T03:57:00.000-07:00

In No Particular Order.....

1. Get a solid education that will result in work that pays well, or get training that offers solid, marketable skills for work that pays well. Financial independence is vital.

2. Learn about different types of investments and how to invest wisely. Being able to pay the rent is one thing. Building wealth is another.

3. Know how to make the most of your appearance, because confidence comes from looking your best. You need to confidence to be selective about which men you date or marry, and you need confidence to walk away if the relationship turns unhealthy. You need confidence to make your way in the work world; but, most of all, perhaps, you need confidence to - every once in a while - be brave enough to say, "Hey - I'm right, and the world is wrong."

4. Be someone who knows, in your heart, that you are a person of integrity. Knowing you have integrity leads to solid self-esteem, and solid self-esteem is important in being independent and/or strong. If you don't have solid integrity decide to figure out how to develop it.

5. Think like a judge. Don't accept information for which you have no solid evidence.

6. Think like a scientist. Seek out answers yourself.

7. Think like a mathematician. Use logic.

8. Define who and what you are for yourself. Don't allow others to define who/what you are, and don't allow media or society determine what you ought to be.

9. Know your abilities and potential - and think of them whenever you doubt yourself.

10. Decide you will make yourself into the kind of person you like. If there are things about your inner self you don't like decide to change them.

11. Understand that healthy relationships involving wanting to be with the other person - not needing them.

12. Be someone who has interests in life and in the world. Interests make a life and a person more whole; and being more whole means being more independent and strong.

13. Aim to gain your power from your own strengths - not your own or others' weaknesses. Power built on weaknesses collapses. Power built on your own strength is built on a solid foundation.

14. Care about other people. People who don't care about other people are not whole, and you can't be independent and strong if you're not whole.

15. Don't try to imitate men. Men haven't always gotten things right; but even when they do, their way may not be the best way or the only way. Decide you will show the world what women are capable of.

Who was your hero, as a child? What did you learn from your hero?

2008-10-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

Who was your hero, as a child? What did you learn from your hero?

When Girls Turn into Women

2008-10-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

When Girls Turn into Women

Jealousy

2008-10-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

Jealousy

"To Marry or Not to Marry"

2008-10-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

"To Marry or Not to Marry"

Choosing Formal Dresses - Tips and Advice

2008-10-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

Choosing Formal Dresses - Tips and Advice