SOBER IN STYLE

LIFE IS FULL OF CONTRASTS - FEBRUARY 13, 2012

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Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word "happiness" would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness ~ Carl Jung

Life is full of contrasts. What we perceive or feel at this moment is often heightened by an experience we just passed through. It's the sum and substance of all experiences and our feelings about them that give meaning to any single moment.

Joy is understood only in a life where discouragement has made its mark. Our lives are recharged, even glorified, by every moving experience, no matter what kind of emotion is evoked. In fact, our very existence is verified each time an encounter invites an emotional response.

When we are sad, it is because it satisfies a need to feel that way. if we accept this fact, our acceptance of every emotion grounds our lives in a serenity which embraces and transcends all our feelings.

Whatever I may feel today is cause for celebration. It's a sign of my vitality.

BE CALM - FEBRUARY 9, 2012

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Only trust, perfect trust can keep one calm.

Learning to trust that our Higher Power cares for us, always, will relieve our anxious moments and restore our trust. In time we will come to know that when we're with God, all is well.

The calm of knowing our well-being is guaranteed comes when we willingly relinquish our frenzied attempts to control all the events in our life. One way we can learn to do this is by practicing quietness and breathing in calmness each time we feel anxiety over an outcome. This will allow us to trust - a bit more every day - that God is at the helm and our life is on course.

WISDOM TO KNOW - FEBRUARY 8, 2012

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An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. - Orlando A. Battista

In our lives, we have always been drawn to extremes. If it isn't white, it must be black. If a little bit feels good, we take a lot. If we are going to do something, only perfection is good enough. So if we don't win, we lose, and if we can't do it perfectly, we feel like a failure.

In this program we learn to seek progress, not perfection. And we can only make progress by trial and error. We learn nothing if we don't try new things and then learn from our errors. We don't jump into perfect sobriety the moment we decide to enter this program of recovery. When we surrender to our powerlessness over our addictions and codependency, we have to begin to learn how to live in a new way. It doesn't just happen all at once. So when we take our errors and our slips and agree to learn from them, we become stronger in our sobriety.

FULLY COMMITTED TO NOW - FEBRUARY 6, 2012

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Why We Are Not Shown the Big Picture

Sometimes, we may find ourselves wishing we knew what our lives are going to look like or what gifts and challenges are going to be presented to us in the coming months or years. We may want to know if the relationship we’re in now will go the distance or if our goals will be realized. Perhaps we feel like we need help making a decision and we want to know which choice will work out best. We may consult psychics, tarot cards, our dreams, and many other sources in the hopes of finding out what the future holds. Usually, at most, we may catch glimpses. And even though we think we would like to know the whole story in all its details, the truth is that we would probably be overwhelmed and exhausted if we knew everything that is going to happen to us.

Just think of your life as you’ve lived it up to this point. If you are like most of us, you have probably done more and faced more than you could have ever imagined. If someone had told you as a child of all the jobs and relationships you would experience, along with each one’s inherent ups and downs, you would have become overwhelmed. With your head full of information about the future, you would have had a very hard time experiencing your life in the present moment, which is where everything actually happens.

In many ways, not knowing what the future has in store brings out in us the qualities we need to grow. For example, it would have been difficult to commit yourself to certain people or projects if you knew they wouldn’t ultimately work out. Yet, it was through your commitment to see them through that you experienced the lessons you needed to grow. Looking back on your life, you would likely be hard pressed to say that anything in your past should not have happened. In fact, your most challenging experiences with their inevitable lessons may have ultimately brought you the greatest rewards. Not knowing the future keeps us just where we need to be—fully committed and in the present moment.

ATTACHMENT - FEBRUARY 3, 2012

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Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. ~ Simone Weil

It is often with some difficulty that we come to understand our need for personal boundaries. We also have to struggle to maintain them once they're defined. Our boundaries are blurred when our desire to be loved and needed by others seduces us into becoming overly involved in their lives. Or when we find ourselves overly committed with tasks and social engagements ~ even ones we enjoy. We must remember we need time alone, time for the stillness within to nurture us.

Until we detach from the person or the situation that is drawing us in, we can have no objectively. We also lose our sense of God's role in our life when our boundaries are blurred. God gives us our direction, our definition, our vision, and our understanding whenever we ask.

I will take time with my Higher Power today to remember my boundaries.

LEAD BY EXAMPLE - FEBRUARY 2, 2012

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Shed peace, not discord, wherever you go. Try to be part of the cure of every situation, not part of the problem. Try to ignore evil, rather than to actively combat it. Always try to build up, never to tear down. Show others by your example that happiness comes from living the right way. The power of your example is greater than the power of what you say.

WHO WE ARE - FEBRUARY 1, 2012

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Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character ~ Henry Hancock

Over others we are powerless. Over who we are this moment, and who we are intent on becoming, we have vast power. We can take this power in hand and form ourselves as persons short on character defects and long on positive assets. Or, we can sit idle, feeling sorry for ourselves, waiting for someone else to change us or for the circumstances of our life to change.

God has given us free will to mold ourselves. This program has given us the tools to become the people we'd like to be. The rest is up to us. Our mind is formed largely by what we put into it. Our actions are ours to own. No one can act for us, and we no longer need to behave in ways that conflict with our best interests and values. Our character is never wholly forced upon us. We can be, to a large extent, who we intend to be. It's our responsibility, through our Higher Power, to determine our intentions.

LOW POINTS - JANUARY 31, 2012

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God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. ~ C.S. Lewis

Today we will be led through some experiences that will feel familiar. We may also meet head-on with some things that are quite unexpected. It's probable that we'll know some fear, confusion, and perhaps even some joy today. Fortunately we have been taught that God is ever present, so that the fear, confusion, and the unexpected need not trouble us for long. Through these experiences, we discover deeper dimensions of ourselves. Our reward is an increased trust in God.

So much suffering has been a matter of how we perceive our experiences. We can see every experience as one of God's lessons and therefore good for our growing, changing self.

FAITH - JANUARY 30, 2012

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God, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today, that you and I can't handle.

Courage is what makes us do the right thing even when nobody else is doing it. We can find happiness while surrounded by darkness; we can be loving in the middle of hate and envy, and serene when surrounded by chaos, fear and anger.

The principles of our Program help us face impossible odds. We learn that any act of courage may produce future victory for ourselves and others. The courage we want takes its strength from faith, not from bravery or physical strength. Sensible courage never fails because it is made up of truth and faith.

Let truth and faith give me courage, so that when fear knocks no one is there.

THE LAW OF FORGIVENESS - JANUARY 27, 2012

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It is an unbreakable mental law that you have to forgive others if you want to demonstrate over your difficulties and to make any real spiritual progress.

You must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in your heart - and that is the long and the short of it. You do this, not for the other person's sake, bur for your own sake. Resentment, condemnation, anger, desire to see someone punished are things that rot your soul. Such things fasten your troubles to you with rivets. They fetter you to many other problems that actually have nothing whatever to do with the original grievances themselves. ~ Emmet Fox

INSPIRATION -JANUARY 26, 2012

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Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. ~ Brendan Francis

God speaks to us in many ways at many times. If we are spiritually alert, we will know it when it happens. A stray thought occurs; we overhear a bit of conversation; a passage in something we are reading suddenly stands out - and we know we have connected. A feeling of assurance and peace comes over us.

The trouble is that we might acknowledge this contact only briefly, and then it slips away. The time to act passes. The favor we could have done; the advice or support we could have offered; the help we could have given or received - all are missed opportunities.

When God speaks, we must do more than listen.

A DIVINE PLAN - JANUARY 25, 2012

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There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold. ~ Ruth P. Freedman

We are never certain of the full importance of the eventual impact of any single event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring.

Perhaps our greatest difficulty in recovery is not trusting that life is a process and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll discover freedom.

Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and leave the outcome where it belongs.

I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will do my part, and no more.

CHARACTER DEFECTS - JANUARY 24, 2012

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Constructive Review of Character Defects

Also ask your heart to purify and cleanse this defect and harmful desire. Ask also the help of the inner father and mother. Every time we eliminate a defect, we build our soul, our inner temple. We ascend, like going up a stairway. ~ Willaru Huayata, QUECHUA NATION, PERU

The building blocks to knowledge and wisdom are constructed through the lessons of our character defects if we constructively review our conduct each day, asking where we are resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Remember, we need to review constructively, not destructively. Destructive review is when we ask, "what's the matter with me anyway." or "how could I be so stupid?" These questions lead to morbid reflection or remorse and seriously affect our self-esteem. In constructive review we ask, "what will I do next time?" With constructive review we progressively eliminate the defect and replace it with wisdom.

My Creator, allow me to have my defects because through them I gain in knowledge of Your will.

THE JOY OF SOBRIETY - JANUARY 23, 2012

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A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress.
~ AS BILL SEES IT, p. 35

Upon entering A.A. I listened to others talk about the reality of their drinking: loneliness, terror and pain. As I listened further, I soon heard a description of a very different kind ~ the reality of sobriety. It is a reality of freedom and happiness, of purpose and direction, and of serenity and peace with God, ourselves and others. By attending meetings I am reintroduced to that reality, over and over. I see it in the eyes and hear it in the voices of those around me. By working the program I find the direction and strength with which to make it mine. The joy of A.A. is that this new reality is available to me.

ACCEPTANCE - JANUARY 20, 2012

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“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find
some person, place, thing, or situation
- some fact of my life -
unacceptable to me, and I can find
no serenity until I accept that person,
place, thing, or situation as being exactly
the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens
in God’s world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
unless I accept life completely on life’s terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much on what
needs to be changed in the world
as on what needs to be changed
in me and in my attitudes.”

PEACE OF MIND - JANUARY 19, 2012

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Anxiety is the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God and his will for us.

When we've embarked on a spiritual path, trying to learn the will of God seems essential to our peace of mind. And peace of mind is what we all want.

As we try on a daily basis to improve our conscious contact with God, praying for knowledge of Gods' will for us, we sometimes find ourselves doing things we never thought we'd do. We may find we're more loving; we treat others as equals; we're more consistently kind, gentle and considerate. We may begin forgiving others, just a God does us, and find that we catch a glimpse of God in everyone we see. And then we just may discover we are surprisingly free of anxiety.

Today I will seek God's will for me and look for opportunities to express it.

THINKING WELL OF OURSELVES - JANUARY 18, 2012

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Although there may have been conceit and cockiness in our past behavior, most of us suffered from feelings of low self-esteem. We often felt alone and unworthy. Often, we had memories of parents and others who reminded us of our shortcomings or compared us unfavorably with others.

Whatever our past problems, we can raise our self-esteem in the present. We can begin by forgiving ourselves and others for past wrongs and mistakes. We must become willing to give up any belief or practice that causes us to dislike ourselves. We can remember that our self-esteem does not depend on achievements or on winning in competitions with others. Despite our failings, now and in the past, we are worthy in the sight of God and are entitled to God's grace.

Growth in the program usually brings growth in self-esteem. If we think well of ourselves, in the right sense, others will tend to think well of us, too. With proper self-esteem, we will not be crushed or dismayed when someone seems to dislike us. Our feelings about ourselves will be much more than a mirror of others' opinions.

I will think well of myself today, I will not put myself down, even jokingly. I will know that if God is for me, no one can be against me.

PERSISTENCE ~ JANUARY 17, 2012

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Being persistent is different from being forceful. When I have to force something to happen or change, it's not something I really need. When I can meet my challenges and overcome obstacles by not giving up, I'm being persistent. When I'm persistent, I have the strength to accomplish what I set out to do, and I can be proud of my achievements. Today I will recognize when I'm being persistent and when I'm trying to force an issue. Force will feel different to me because I will probably hit a "brick wall" at every turn. This usually means that I need to change my direction and find other options. Persistently doing the footwork means I'm doing my part, but forcing things to be my way only shows that I'm unwilling to consider anything else. When I'm persistent, I have to keep trying, when it still feels like the right thing to do. Eventually I will be successful and rewarded in my efforts.

PRAYER - JANUARY 16, 2012

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And when we turn away from meditation and prayer, we likewise deprive our minds, our emotions, and our intuitions of vitally needed support. One of its first fruits is emotional balance. With it we can broaden and deepen the channel between ourselves and God as we understand Him. But its object is always the same: to improve our conscious contact with God, with His grace, wisdom, and love. As the day goes on, we can pause where situations must be met and decisions made, and renew the simple request: "Thy will, not mine, be done." If at these points our emotional disturbance happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance, provided we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our reading or meditation. Just saying it over and over will often enable us to clear a channel choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or misunderstanding, and permit us to return to the surest help of all - our search for God's will, not our own, in the moment of stress.

SPIRITUAL SEARCHING - JANUARY 4, 2011

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A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

God didn't give us agile minds to be content with what we already know. Our spiritual progress is often wrought with pain, turmoil and confusion, but through it all, we grow and change. Should we stop growing and changing just because we've found something that has brought us some peace?

No, just as we test our program's principles and find them true, we can continue our spiritual searching. God has a purpose in mind for each of us, but we must look for it. We are on the right path, but we have farther to go to find our special purpose.

FREEDOM OF FEAR - JANUARY 3, 2012

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God did not make us to be eaten up by anxiety, but to walk erect, free, unafraid in a world where there is work to do, truth to seek, love to give and win. ~ Joseph Fort Newton

Today stands before us with promise. It invites us to fully participate in experiences. That we are alive, that we stand present facing this day, guarantees that we are qualified to handle every challenge that snags our attention. And we need have no fear. The world and all that's in it is spirit-full. We are safe and secure if we'd but believe it.

When we look toward the day with confidence, we tap the inner strength that is ever-present. The more frequently we turn to this strength, the less often we are haunted by pangs of anxiety. Our trust in that strength heightens our faith and our understanding that all is well-always and forever all is well.

Giving up fear offers a freedom that will exhilarate us. Faith, trust, confidence will ready us for any challenge, all experiences.

PEACE - JANUARY 2, 2011

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Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I'll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.

Our best problem solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.

Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.

Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.

I am learning to trust my instincts and move away from unpleasant and stressful people, places and things. I no longer have to stay in situations that bring me unhappiness and pain. I am turning around today to see the joy.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME - DECEMBER 30, 2011

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Great Expectations in the New Year ~

Wait, and expect good things - for yourself and your loved ones.

When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.

See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.

Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.

Wait, and expect good things.

Today, when I think about the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.

COURAGE - DECEMBER 29, 2011

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Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. ~ Kathleen Casey Theisen

Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive compliance with whatever is occurring need no longer dominate our pattern of behavior. Powerlessly watching our lives go by was common for many of us, and our feelings of powerlessness escalated the more idle we were.

Today, action is called for ~ thoughtful action in response to the situations begging for our attention. Recovery's greatest gift is the courage to take action, to make decisions that will benefit us as well as the people who are close to us. Courage is the byproduct of our spiritual progress, courage to accept what we cannot change, believing that all will be well, courage to change in ourselves what we do have control over.

An exhilaration about life accompanies the taking of action. The spell that idleness casts over us is broken, and subsequent actions are even easier to take. Clearly, making a choice and acting on it is healthful. The program has given us the tools to do both.

Decisions will be called for today. I will be patient with myself, and thoughtful. I will listen closely to the guidance that comes from those around me.

REMEMBERING THE MOMENT - DECEMBER 27, 2011

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Life, in all of its fullness, is happening right now. While our thoughts are sometimes elsewhere, beautiful opportunities and moments are being passed over and lost to the flow of time. And though we cannot possibly fully experience each leaf that falls to the ground, sometimes we get so attached to reaching our goals that we don’t pay attention to the wonder all around us. When we do that, we live in a world that exists only in our heads, while we miss life itself. There is so much to be enjoyed and appreciated that we need to remember to pay attention to the present moment, because it is the only space in which we can experience being alive.

We learn from our past, but dwelling on it keeps us from being fully present to life in the moment. We create our lives with our thoughts, but focusing so firmly on our imagined future keeps us from co-creating with the universe, so we might never allow ourselves to live our dreams as they manifest. It’s possible to be so happy and comfortable in our inner worlds that we lose touch with the business of life. We may enjoy spending large portions of time in meditation, or focused on our thoughts.

Life must be attended to, and if we are wise, we can enjoy it at the same time. We can awaken ourselves to the moment we are living right now by taking a deep breath and simply looking around. In doing so, we refocus our attention to our location in the real world. Then we can learn to appreciate the process of working toward our goals as much as their attainment. Balancing ourselves between the present moment and eternity, we can experience and enjoy the full range of reality available to us as spiritual beings living on earth.