Epiphany

I'm Back After Seven Years!

2024-11-29T16:30:00.001+05:30

So it’s been almost 6 or 7 years since I’ve blogged, marriage and parenting had taken up 125% of my time. But inspired by my good friend and fellow blogger Kima De Mizohican who never stopped, I’ve decided to give it a go again. To be brutally honest the past year has not been very kind to me and my family. Those of you that know, know. But for those who don’t, it’s not worth looking into. Anyway to help me get past all the drama, I decided to learn how to write “Haiku” (A haiku is a short, unrhymed Japanese poem that's made up of three lines and 17 syllables. The syllables are arranged in a 5-7-5 pattern, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third). I’ve spent many days, reading, writing, scrapping, re-writing ughhh…. But so far here are 4 that I feel I’m confident enough to share. Please note that it’s a work in progress and I will get better. Thanks 1. Birds chirping wake me Sad happy angry and alone Each day a new day? 2. Bottle is my vice Bourbon burbles down the ice Cheers to my troubles 3. Sunset glistening Behold nature’s resplendence But dark is the night 4 . She thought I’m gorgeous! Inanimate mirror is Dog peed on tree trunk

Life after Marriage Part 1

2017-07-26T19:06:00.003+05:30

Hello there everyone, I know it’s been a while since I last updated my blog and it is inexcusable, blasphemous perhaps, but I do have a valid reason, well, you see…(Let the drum rolls begin) I got married! Yes, I got married to my long time girlfriend and love of my life Hazel Kharkongor in Aizawl, Mizoram. I’ll put a few pictures from the wedding in the end. Maybe I’ll blog about the wedding and the comedy of errors, but todays blog is about the No.1 question people ask me after the wedding – What’s it like getting married? How has life changed? And this is my attempt to answer the question and maybe a lot of young unmarried men will find helpful and hopefully learn a thing or two.

For me since my wife and I were living together for close to 3 years before we got married, I always thought ‘nothing much would change after we get married’. For me it was just a legal/social formality and things would be the same. A man could never have been more wrong! But anyway here a few things I’ve noticed along with a few advice for the unfortunate ones about to take the plunge.

After you get married, you will realize that nothing really belongs to you anymore. Yes you read that right NOTHING! You might have bought it, but it’s not yours. This is how it goes - So I bought an iPad last month, coz I hate carrying my laptop when traveling or giving presentations etc. I brought it home and as soon as I showed it to her she said ‘thanks babe’ and I haven’t touched or used it since.
You can’t do the things you casually did before you got married, like order pizza whenever you feel like eating pizza. Last Friday as usual I was laying on my couch after a long days work watching a movie and as always there were a couple of scenes where the actors were eating pizza. I thought to myself ‘hmmm it’s been a while since I had a pizza’ so I quickly opened my Zomato app and ordered a Yellow Cab Special thin crust pepperoni pizza, from NYC Pie (the best place to have Pizza) and continued watching my movie. After about 30 mins the wife is done with her cooking, and just as she's about to sit, the delivery boy rings the doorbell, she goes to open it and what followed after that was rather confusing for me. There was an extreme contrast in our facial expressions and emotions, I was hungry and delighted to have my pizza she was confused and angry that I ordered a pizza. Needless to say, I didn’t get my lemonade or my breakfast the next morning.
You can’t watch the things you like to watch anymore as much as you used to.
I like watching football and UFC, but since the EPL season is off for now, I usually watch UFC fights or podcasts on youtube etc. So whenever we have an argument or she’s upset with me, she tells me ‘You don’t even watch movies with me anymore’, ‘why cant you watch movies which even I can enjoy, all you do is watch UFC’. So I felt guilty and last week I took her out on a movie date to watch Spiderman Homecoming - She fell asleep for the entire first half of the movie. Women I tell you!

Any that’s it for now, I have a lot more to share but I have to go home now to my sweet loving wife. Here are a few pictures hope you enjoy them. Cheers!

Liberation!

2016-10-05T13:48:00.002+05:30

First off all I think calling a grown ass man a couch-potato is just plain hateful. Why would you do that? I mean it’s a conscious decision to be one, so why judge him and start with the name calling. It’s downright offensive and you people should stop it.

Now having said that, as many of my friends and relatives would know, I am notoriously difficult to get out of the house on a weekend or on a holiday. Why? Because I’ve worked all week and I need the 2 days off for myself, to catch up on new movies and TV shows etc. Which is why I end up spending the entire weekend on the couch, getting up only to eat, crap, piss and change movies on my laptop which I connect to my TV using an HDMI cable.

Look at that infinite space between the couch and the laptop. Lord help me!

Now, if you’ve ever been in a situation where after every 2 hours you need to get your ass up, crawl to the laptop, change movies, crawl back and re-position yourself on the couch, it gets annoying and too much work to do in 2 days. So, I decided I needed to fix this and started looking at wireless keyboard and mouse on Amazon. There were some pretty nice ones out there, but they were all a little too big. I’d probably have to place the laptop on my belly and hold the mouse with my hand etc. etc. too much work, to many moving parts and way too much action for my liking. So I delved deeper into Amazon for a better alternative until I found this little piece of wonder.

NewestMini Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard Handheld with Touchpad for Android 4.0 +Tablet / Mac OS / Windows OS. Click to view on Amazon.

Did a little more research on it and found that Lew from Unbox Therapy had reviewed it and highly recommended it.

So what did I do? Logged on to Amazon and bought it, yes sir I did. paid a full Rs. 2099 for it.

After anxiously waiting for 5 days my package finally arrived around 4:30 in the afternoon, but I was a little pissed off that it came on a Sunday. Dammit, I had only half a day to enjoy this bad boy. So much to do, so less time. Nevertheless I opened it with tears of joy rolling down my eyes.

All I had to do now was, turn on the Bluetooth on my laptop and pair it with this little device and voila, I was back in control of my life. It functions like a full fledged keyboard with all commands and the touchpad does the work of a mouse. The battery is pretty good, you only have to charge it once a week sometimes once in 2 weeks. We have come a long way, when it comes to technology almost everything's wireless now and I for one hate wires, they all black and messy and look like pubes. I like the clean look, I mean when it comes to the whole, media entertainment set up. (To each his/her own)

Anyway after this amazing discovery, I will never have to get up from the couch except to shit and piss. (Next mission is to train the girlfriend to give me food and water on the couch)

Tested it and it works like a charm, the touch pad is responsive, keypad takes some getting used to but it serves my purpose. It’s light and decently built too. I pretend to fall asleep with it on my belly and I hardly felt it. Needless to say, I highly recommend it. Cheers.

Don’t Judge me.

Cereal Killer at Large

2015-11-03T15:22:00.000+05:30

In a shocking incident a man identified as Zakk Sangkima Khiangte, brutally steeped on a cornflake killing it instantly. Witnesses to the gruesome incident described it as a ruthless, meaningless act of violence. One witness who declined to be named said that Mr. Khiangte did not show any sign of regret as he stepped on the helpless corn.

Upon further investigation it was discovered that Mr. Khiangte committed this crime as retaliation for the Dadri killing over beef consumption. He said “ If they can kill a man for supposedly eating beef, why can't I kill. I will continue to kill corn flakes. I have no Regret." So far it is not know if Mr. Khiangte has a political or any religious agenda but this heinous crime has been condemned by all and has triggered strong response from the world over. Although some experts believe that this might be the beginning of a new extremist non veg group.

Members the metal band KORN released a statement condemning the incident and calling it a new form of racism that needs to be addressed. Jonathan Davis, front man the band said "being a Korn myself, I really don't feel safe anymore and we are seriously thinking about ending our world tour. Who knows if there are other cereal killers out there".

Members of Korn embrace on hearing the news.

The BJP has issued a statement condemning the incident, and have promised swift action against the accused. Various vegetarian groups along with the RSS and Shiv Sena have promised a fitting reply to the incident.

Career Advice For the Uninitiated

2015-09-21T17:15:00.002+05:30

So last week I was had lunch with a man who had worked in Amway for 10 years, and as we were talking he said something that pissed me off quite a bit; he said “Mizo boys are useless, lazy and they don’t take their jobs seriously, but Mizo girls are very hardworking”. I did not like the way he was so quick to generalize all of my people, when I know many Mizos boys who work very hard, and hold very respectable positions in top industries.

Anyway that night I thought a lot about what he said, and wondered if there was any truth to it; why and how did he come to such a disturbing conclusion about my bros. I shared the incident on our Mizo bloggers whaatsapp group and we had a very interesting discussion. A lot was said with no real conclusion, but that’s not the topic of my blog today, it may be related but not really (I don’t even know if that made sense). My blog today is an advice to all my Mizo bros as well as non Mizo bros about to start their lives as an independent working man.

I believe that had there been someone to give ‘the guys’ who were unfortunate enough to be labeled lazy, useless and don’t take their jobs seriously, appropriate career advises they would have been better off and this is my attempt to reduce such incidents. So here they are:

Know what you want to do for a living.

I always knew I wanted to be in advertising, but never knew how to get there, so I ended up wasting 2 years of my life doing my MBA and then another useless year working in Samsung finance department till I found my way to advertising. If you’re good at something and you like doing it, go for it. Don’t worry about the finances, it will come one day. It’s better to do what you like than to hate what you do. If you want to be a carpenter, be the best fucking carpenter. There is dignity in labor.

There’s a world beyond Mizoram

Move out of your comfort zone. The best of you will come out when you face challenges and fail over and over again. If you want to start a business, think beyond Mizoram, there’s a whole country and even the world to explore. Holding a government job is good, or a MCS or engineer or doctor, teacher, nurse etc. but so is being a copywriter, designer, game developer, social media strategist, event manager, consultant, so many amazing jobs. I will never understand why everyone I know wants to go back home right after they complete their studies, I want to eventually go back home too, but not until I’ve made my presence felt. I'm not judging but that's just me or maybe its just that there's job for my line of work back home.

Be confident and show it.

If you show insecurity in the corporate world, the big boys will bully you and eat you alive. If you have an idea, present it with confidence. When you’re introduced to someone, shake their hand firmly; show them you are their equal. Bosses love young, dynamic and confident employees and believe me women like it too. So there 2 birds with one stone.

Stay curious and ask questions

Be nice to everyone from top to bottom level employees. There’s always something to learn from everyone, try to spend time with them and ask questions. There’s so much to learn from people’s lives and experiences. Soak in their culture and learn to think like them. Remember to always stay excited and motivated.

Never say No

Sometimes you will get orders from bosses that may sound/seem impossible to accomplish; but never say No. Try to do it anyway. In your process of failure or success you will learn so much more than your regular “possible” work. You will research more, learn new tricks and your brain will function faster than usual and whether you fail or succeed you will be better at you work EVERYTIME!

Show them what your worth

Like I said before, don’t worry too much about the finances in the beginning, I mean it is important but it’s not everything. If you work hard enough the money will come and when it comes nothing can compare to the feeling. I Started with 5000 a month, spent nights sleeping in the office I worked my ass off, worked on weekends and never complained, well I did complain (sometimes complaining is fun) but I never gave up. If you work hard enough, companies will give you what you're worth, if they're not, others will. You are what your worth, so keep yourself and your skills sharp.

Stay Creative

Creative doesn’t mean you have to be an advertising expert, be creative in your own line of work. Explore new ways to do things, if it hasn’t been done your way, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Everything can change, every process, every style etc.; there’s always room for change and a better way of doing things. Challenge and question ideas, processes and if you have a better way, present it but never be condescending. Some ideas will be appreciated and most rejected but don’t take it to heart

Start Saving

Don't make the same mistake I made of not saving. Start saving from as early, maybe just 500 a month for the first year will do, then when you get a raise increase it to 1000. You will need them for a rainy day. Make a monthly budget of how much you spend on clothes, food and going out for parties and try to stick to the plan.

That’s all I can say for now as I have to get back to work. Oh, and learn the local language it will take you a long way in your life and career. Last but not the least let go of your pride and learn to respect everyone, you will not always have great bosses but respect them and learn as much as you can from them. I have never been in a position where I did not learn something from someone. (I hope i didn't sound too preachy)

Random Ranting

2015-03-21T16:41:00.001+05:30

Aren’t we a fucking lazy bunch? Or is it just our complete disregard for others? I read somewhere that India is a nation that’s always in a rush to get somewhere but never on time. Well it’s because we as a nation are fucking lazy and have no respect for others. Seriously, the fucking street sweepers start sweeping the roads at 9 am with their carts parked in the road during rush fucking hour, slowing traffic. Why can’t they do it at 5 AM or maybe 6 AM?

And the worst part is once you've managed to get past the ignorant sweepers of Delhi and enter Noida, you find yourself in another un-necessary traffic – a Cow/Bull decides, “hmmm... it’s a nice warm morning, I think I’ll take a nap right in the middle of the fucking road. fuck humans”. These are days when you just want to die!

Talk about dying I think a part of me died the day I watched 50 shades - the movie. I actually hated my laptop after watching it. I don’t know why even though it was my decision to watch, I hated my laptop for showing it to me. I have nothing good to say about that fucking movie. And the worst part is I’ve seen movies worse than 50 Shades that gave me a boner at least, that fucking movie just confused my weaner.

As for weaners and all things related to its whereabouts, I think Indian men have the worst toilet etiquette. I have worked in 3 of the biggest companies and trust me the men’s toilet is a nightmare, especially the commode. I have seen footprints on the commode seats and things on them that no man alive needs to see.

And I can never understand why they keep putting sings that say "throw used toilet paper in the dustbin". What are we suppose to just wipe our butt and throw it in the dustbin? It's not a very delightful sight to behold while taking a dump, you know.

I imagine some people playing 'Guess Who's Ass-Wipe' - "The one on top is really light yellow, so it must be Rahul's ass wipe tissue, he was complaining about his stomach from the samosa he had in the morning. The one below it is 2 shades darker..." - Who knows about these thing's.

I for one was brought up by women and they had strict rules for using the toilet, especially my Granny. If I broke the rules I was made to do my business in the makeshift toilet in the garden.

She had three simple rules:

If you’re going to pee, lift the seat.
When done put it back down. Always flush after use.
Think about the next person using it as yourself, so leave it clean.

And I've always carried these things with me, but I guess people grew up differently or maybe they just don’t give a shit. Anyway here's a cat that clearly does not give a shit!

Sometimes I just get so frustrated and tired at the mess we have to go through when we all know that if we stop to care a little about others everything would be better.

Some day India, some day.

29

2015-03-16T12:51:00.007+05:30

She never thought ‘29’, a number so random would bother her as much as she woke up that morning. Several intervals of her morning that day was spent in front of the mirror Sherlock Holmes’ing for signs on 29. I think she might have “Googled life expectancy” and came to no conclusion as to why it bothered her so much. She did her math, wondered if what she was feeling was a Mid Life crisis, but the numbers proved she was a year or two behind, feeling a little better she thought, maybe its a quarter Life crisis, but she was 4 or 5 years too late. "Fuck 29!" she thought to herself. The world would be a better place without 29, who needs 29? Things would be so much simpler if the counting system went “26,27,28,30…”. She didn't like the prospect of 30 after 29 either, but she hated 29 even more so, and the more she thought, the more it looked like an evil sibling determined to destroy her youth. Maybe it should just stop at 28…and numbers after that should cease to exist. Nature seemed to agree with her anger and disgust for 29, as it responded with thunder and rain. She peaked out the window anlooked at the gloomy dark sky. There was nothing happy about this day, nor this number, and everything around her seemed to agree. It didn't help that exactly 29 people called to wish her that morning. She googled 'facts about 29' as she lit her 29th cigarette of the day. No sooner did she stub her last cigarette and closed the page as she read the last fact – “29 is the Atomic number of Copper”.

A Sense Of Pride

2015-01-07T13:42:00.000+05:30

There’s a sense of pride in being the first to have a girlfriend among childhood friends
There’s a sense of pride in telling people how many girlfriends you've
There’s a sense of pride in having broken a heart or two…maybe more
There’s a sense of pride in having survived a heart break you thought you never would
There’s a sense of pride in starting a new life
There’s a sense of pride in saying she’s my girlfriend
There’s a sense of pride in saying “I love you” once again
There’s a sense of pride in saying “she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with”
There’s a sense of pride in saying “She’s my fiancé”
There’s a sense of pride in saying “She’s my wife”
There’s a sense of pride when saying “I am what I am today because of her”
There’s a sense of pride in saying that “she’s the mother of my child”
But all of these pale in comparison to the pride you feel in realizing that she chose you.

This Boy Realized How Much He Loves His Girlfriend. You Wont Believe What He Did!

2014-12-05T19:19:00.000+05:30

The key to maintaining a truly wonderful relationship is in a man’s hands. If you care enough to do the things I’m about to tell you, I promise you will have a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend/wife/friend. These advice's come from years of experience with women I've had the good blessing to be with. But as my chapter as a bachelor comes to an end, I feel it necessary to pass on what I have learned over the years. There are a lot of things I can write about but I’ll just make this short and sweet, pointing out only the major ones.

Listen, listen and listen – Women love to talk! I understand for a man there’s only so much of listening we can do, but train yourself to filter out the rubbish and pick out the few important lines from all they say. Just remember the first part of what she said and the last part of what she said and you are safe.
It’s all about feelings – For women everything is about feelings…EVERYTHING! So knowing how she’s feeling will save you a lot of useless arguments.
Have a routine, to show her you care but do something unexpected every once in a while.
I don’t care what anyone says women love to be surprised so make sure you buy her something every once in a while. Doesn't have to be expensive but it’s the thought that counts.
Hug her – Women loved to be hugged, maybe not in public but hug her often. Hug her when she looks sad, when she’s happy and most importantly when she least expects it. When you do hug her hug her like you mean it tight and strong.
Give her attention – If you haven’t been communicating much the whole day and she sends you a nasty text or she’s being a bit of an ass when you meet, it means she wants attention. But don’t overdo the attention, don’t be up in her face all day every damn day. Give her space and attention to make sure she knows she’s on your mind. (It helps to set reminders on your phone) it reassures her that she belongs to you and you to her.
Compliment her – Nothing can turn a woman’s mood around better than a compliment. If she’s had a bad day and she’s taking it out on you, listen to her, but as soon as the first round of outburst is over compliment her. See how that works. It’s important to listen to the first outburst coz that way she knows you’re there for her but no one needs a round 2, so to avoid it you compliment her.
Lead the conversation even when she thinks she’s leading the conversation – Women can be very self destructing and I mean that in a very cute way. Not in terms of destroying themselves but like I said in a very cute way. They will talk about something and that something will trigger a feeling in her that may make her feel sad, and once that happens it’s like an avalanche of emotional stuff if you don’t butt in. let’s say she’s talking to you about a cut dog she saw today, and suddenly she might remember a dog she had as a kid who went missing and how much she cried. That will trigger a memory of her favorite grandmother/father who has passed away and how much she misses them….etc. now if you have it in you to listen to that for 2 hours you deserve a medal, but if you don’t, know when to butt in and lead the conversation away from the topic. Just when you see the expression on her face change, butt in with a story about a dog you had and say hey maybe we should get a dog (you don’t really have to get it), what should we name it? See how that works.
Don’t make fun of her intelligence – if she’s smarter than you appreciate her intelligence if she’s not, appreciate her likewise. No matter how dumb you might think she is you will be surprised to know that she knows a lot of things you don’t know about. Remember intelligence is not measured on how much you or she knows about current affairs of just plain GK it is also measured on humility, compassion, ability to name a few.
Never give up – In life or on her or on your relationship. Cowards give up and no one likes a person that gives up, not even you. There will be times when it seems impossible to be with her, because you’re constantly fighting. But just remember if you stick around long enough to fight through it, you will uncover the reason/s for the fights and once you get over that, you will fall in love all over again. The problem with men is that when provoked we are too impatient and reactive so we make mistakes we don’t mean to and when the consequences pile up we give up and walk away. If it’s your mistake face it like a man, as long as you don’t give up on yourself she won’t on you.
Look her in the eye – it’s all about eye contact. When you tell her you’ll miss her, look her in the eye. When you tell her you love her, look her in the eye. Sometimes you won’t even have to say it out loud and she’ll get you.

Winter Cheers! Things to keep in mind.

2014-10-29T12:38:00.001+05:30

Whooo hooo it’s that time of the year again! Yes, I mean winter and what does winter mean? Spot on brother – more alcohol! I love winter for obvious reasons, and also because it evokes a sense of romance. You feel like hugging more, embrace seems to have a whole new meaning, the sight of ‘warm regards’ in emails brings with it more love and affection… but enough of that crap, winter gives you reason to drink - more parties = more drinks. It’s so cold…. = have a drink. I think I’m coming down with a fever = have a drink and sleep.

Anyway there are a few things to keep in mind with winter and alcohol to stay healthy. Remember the healthier you are the more you can drink.

1. Many people believe Rum is the drink for winter as it keeps the body warmer. But there is no sufficient/ conclusive research on the validity of this – thus it can be termed a myth. But there’s no harm to it, drink away brothers. But what is true is that rum and coke does keep you more active and warm. If you are diabetic, I think you should stay away from Rum (in my opinion). Why? Well rum is made from sugar cane, and sugar turns into starch upon digestion and starch turns into sugar. But diabetics can drink any type of alcohol in moderation as it can decrease your blood sugar level. How you ask? Well it’s because your liver will be busy fighting off the toxins in alcohol and kinda forget to release glucose, but do not mix anything sweet with your drinks because the carbohydrates in them will spike up the sugar level. Cheers!

2. The saying that ‘alcohol keeps my body warm’ is as true as it is false. Dafaq! Well what actually happens when you take alcohol in general is it dilates the peripheral blood vessels near your skin, increasing in more blood flow and thus the warm feeling. But the danger here is that the blood takes the warmth away from the core of your body, so even though you might feel warm because your skin is warm, you vital organs might not be as warm as you might think they are. So always remember to keep your body warm even when you feel warm. So no to streaking and alcohol in winter.

3. Remember to keep your body hydrated at all times. It’s very easy to forget to drink water or not feel like drinking water during winter, especially if you have been drinking but always remember to drink water before and after you drink alcohol. A hangover is the body’s way of telling you it is really, really dehydrated so keep yourself hydrated. As I had mentioned before it takes about 4 hours for the liver to digest 1 peg of whiskey, so watch your drink. I’d suggest a glass of water between every drink.

So there it is folks a few things to remember as you enjoy your drinks this winter. Cheers!

My Team, My Game - Rules of Engagement

2014-08-11T18:13:00.000+05:30

Every Sports fan has a ritual before watching a match of their favorite team. People find it stupid but for the true fans its serious stuff, everything we do or say could potentially make or break our teams’ performance. For me I've noticed that most of the times I go out to watch a Chelsea match at a friend’s place, we end up losing the match. So I've stopped watching it anywhere but home. I mean we do lose even when I watch it at home but the odds of us winning are much higher. Anyway, besides that I don’t really have a ritual anymore, but, I do like to have the necessities for a good match in place.

• Ideally I like to have the couch to myself. I have a fat ass so I like it when it spreads comfortably on the cushion.
• A bottle whiskey and a few bottles of chilled beer on the side with water and ice (all within an arm’s reach).
• Not really a muncher so I don’t need snacks.
• A packet of cigarettes.
• And if possible I really don’t like watching it with neutrals. By neutrals I mean if there’s a Chelsea vs Man United match I don’t like watching it with a….say Real Madrid fan. Neutrals are annoying lil turds, because they just don’t stop talking, one minute they’re on your side the next thing you know they’re on the other side and they will stick to the winning side and if the match ends as a draw they have everything to say about how both teams played wrong and how boring the match was. So fuck neutrals.

Now the only thing that is allowed to even closely interfere with the match or could take my attention from the match is a ‘Clash of Clans’ notification. I mean there are only 2 things that are important to a man and they are - his sports team and his video game. For me it’s Clash of Clans, I spend every window of spare time I get day and night, building my village, upgrading my defenses, protecting my people – ensuring that they have enough gold and elixir to have a normal life. So they need my constant attention and care. But during a Chelsea match, Clash of Clans notifications also wait till half time or till there’s a short break.

Chelsea Vs Liverpool Match 2
Fairly entertaining first half is about to end and you hear a beep on your phone look down and it’s a Clash of Clans notification *Your village was raided by 鸡巴头 (it's always a Chinese dude). Your blood is boiling but you think to yourself I take care of the bastard during half time and get back to the match, and after 3 minutes of extra time Demba Ba scores! Its Chelsea 1 and Liverpool 0. You scream out “Yessss Goalllllll” pump your fist in the air. It’s good but you don’t want to be too cocky coz its only the first half and anything could happen in the second half, so you calm yourself down and a few minutes later the referee blows for half time.

Just as you’re about to check your phone to see the damage that this turd 鸡巴头 has done to your village, you hear a voice saying something absurd, so you just sort of ignore it. And then for the second time you hear it again loud and clear. You still can’t believe you just heard that coz it still sounds absurd even though it’s louder and clearer. Just as you’re about to continue to ignore it you hear it again for the third time – “You don’t miss me!” you reply really confused “What?”, “What do you mean I don’t miss you”-“You know exactly what I mean, You Don’t Miss Me”-“But babe, you’re right here with me in the same room, how can I miss you?”, “I mean…I don’t mean it like that but of course I miss you”- “No you don’t I saw you playing Clash of Clans when there was a foul, you could have spent that time to pay some attention to me but you chose your stupid Clash of Clans”. “But babe I just looked down to see who attacked my village that’s it” - “Don’t argue with me Zakk I was watching you the whole time” – “OK what do you want me to do, not watch the match?” – “I don’t care, do whatever you want”.

Come on ladies, there should be rules of engagement clearly defined.
You can’t reduce a man to play his video game in the bathroom while he’s pretending to take a dump. And sometimes they catch you too, just when you think you've outsmarted them – “Are you playing Clash of Clans in the loo again?” you reply with a confident voice “No” – “Are you sure? You've been in there for over half an hour” - “I HAVE CONSTIPATION!”

Women have that ability to make you think you did something wrong and feel guilty about it when you did absolutely nothing wrong. And I hate it, absolutely hate it. Men we don’t ask for much – just let me watch my game and let me play my game. Is that too much to ask?

Driving in Delhi!

2014-06-06T17:56:00.000+05:30

Driving is annoying and fucked up in a city like Delhi and its vicinity. I can completely understand why people shoot, stab and beat each other up just for the smallest reasons, I myself have gotten out of my car many times trying to break window glasses of other vehicles with my fist but failed miserably only to end up with a very sore and bruised knuckle (apparently car window glasses are really thick).

But getting back to the point I’ve always wondered why, most drivers in Delhi NCR are so reckless and have absolutely no patience, civic sense or for that matter commonsense.

I have also noticed that people from the hilly regions of India are better drivers have better driving etiquette. And I believe it is because these qualities have been passed down through the family. I never saw my dad or uncles or even our drivers drive on the wrong side or saw them use high beam at night. And as a kid you tend to notice these things and when we finally learned to drive, we understood what was right and what was wrong. Add to that the strict driving test we had to go through to get our license, made us realize how unsafe the road and how much safer we needed to drive.

I have seen grown ass men driving with their families and kids in the car breaking all kinds of traffic rules and it saddens me because their kids are going to learn from what they see and believe it’s ok to be reckless. Like father like son. Now look at this son of a bitch below, smiling away when one mistake could kill his entire family. It's funny I admit but so sad that even traffic cops let them get away with it.

Enough of that, for those of you who have never driven in Delhi NCR here’s what it’s like. It’s like a string of near death experiences for hours at an end if you have to travel far. No one gives a fuck about traffic lights, and the ones that do think yellow means you have to put the pedal to the metal. Pedestrians are no good either, the think when the traffic light turns green for the vehicles to go, it means it’s safe for them to cross the road, so by the time the traffic light turn yellow only a few cars would have passes the light. When this happens you would often see me pulling my hair and screaming in my car - What the Fuckkkkk!

People don’t plan their route in advance and take the proper lane, if they have to take a left in about 500 meters they will drive on the right side of the road till they reach the turn disrupting traffic as they shamelessly attempt their turn. When this happens you would often see me pulling my hair and screaming in my car - What the Fuckkkkk!

Delhi NCR drivers don’t know how to tackle curves either; they don’t flow with the curve but cut in on everyone. And then we have the knight riders, who believe they are perpetually on a race course, they’ll zip past you in full speed out of nowhere and be gone as fast as they arrived. We also have the honkers, these fools will relentlessly honk till you go mad. Stuck at a red light? They will honk till it’s green. When this happens you would often see me pulling my hair and screaming in my car - What the Fuckkkkk!

We also have the smart fools who believe that it’s safer to drive slowly on the fast lane while they’re on their mobile phone. Can you imagine how frustrating it is to follow a slow car in the fast lane? When this happens you would often see me pulling my hair and screaming in my car - Fuckkkkk You!

There’s so much more I want to write about but just thinking about it makes me want to pull my hair and scream like a mad man. And the sad part is that most drivers have lost their humanity, no one cares to give way to an ambulance, or stop to offer help if your car breaks down. But most of all blame the government. Here’s what a driving test is like in India covered by BBC’s Jeremy Clarkson.

Come on people lets learn to drive better, there's still hope for our children to be better drivers and safer drivers.

Understanding the Feminist Woman - Part 2

2014-04-30T16:24:00.000+05:30

In my last blog I wrote about me trying to understanding the independent feminist woman, and after some long hard thinking and research I've figured there’s no understanding them. In fact they themselves don’t know what they want, they’re as confused as we are. Because the movement is new to them and they’re enjoying the fight and the semi freedom. The only way we can relate to them is if we look back in our teenage rebel years, young and free “I’ll do whatever I want” stage of life. A lot of the things they’re demanding make sense but some of them are just plain jibberish. If you go through some of their websites and actually read what they’re discussing, it’s laughable. They go so far as every woman should keep it bushy down south (agreed, to each her own hairstyle north and south of the body) but they talk about the scent too, and some of them argue that it’s a woman’s natural smell, men should appreciate it and women should not be ashamed of it. I mean what the fuck man! Really? I'm just glad that its still a mans world, and that things are still proper.

I will say this for it must be said “Everything I know about being a proper gentleman was killed by feminism”. Chivalry is dead and women killed it! I don't even open doors for women anymore, I'm like "fuck it, you have 2 perfect arms do it yourself". I don't even offer seats to women anymore unless they're grannies or expecting mothers, I'm like "fuck it, you have 2 perfect set of legs, stand on them motherfuckers".

To be really honest feminist scare the shit out of me, because they’re unpredictable. And dating one would be…I don’t even have the word for it besides scary. She would shout at you for trying to be a man, hell she might even sue you for that shit. So my advice is stay away from them if you're an old timer like me. Trust me these women are crazy.

Quote: "Shes crazy, and just when you think you've reached the bottom of her craziness, there's a crazy underground garage"

Imagine you're dating one and its late at night and you're texting each other getting all romantic and shit, and you text her "babe I wanna get to know you better" in half a second flat she sends you this:

Don't you think the first statement outweighs the second? Yes she bakes cookies and shit, thats all thats there for you as her partner, if you're good to her you get cookies and shit, you make her the happiest woman in the world and all you get is cookies and shit. Is cookies worth being made to wish you were never born at all it? I mean Fuck cookies! what if I'm tired of eating cookies every damn day?

Now there's a small chance you might say that was cute, now you ask her "babe I miss you, do you miss me too" and half a second later you get this:

Now if you're an old fashioned guy like me, this is not my idea of romance. I know missing someone hurts but its not the same hurt as being smacked in the fucking face with a fucking rock. and it ends with "I hope you get the point here", the only point i got is that you're fucking crazy woman. You start thinking if shes like this when shes happy, I really don't wanna know what she might be like pissed off, she might cut your head off, or even worse drug you and cut... umm you know...'it'.

It no hidden fact that we will never understand women, they don't understand themselves either, which is fair but what really pisses me off is that they try very hard to complicate whats already complicated. By that I mean they try really hard to make sure you never understand them. Don't believe me? This is a top secret message that was intercepted by one of my undercover spies.

Now you tell me how much more fucked up can things get!

I just glad its still a mans world. :-)

Happy Birthday Ma'am

2014-04-23T19:10:00.000+05:30

Dating Da General Aka Me!

2014-04-17T14:54:00.003+05:30

What dating me would be like. (The way I see it)

Everyone thinks about how they would make a good boyfriend or a girlfriend because let’s face it we only know the good sides of us and how we see ourselves is more or less the way we want people to see us. In our own versions of every story, we're always right, damn right! And I was just thinking about how good of a boyfriend I'd make last night and tried not to be too self-centered. After much pondering, I realized I’d be more than a handful to handle (pun intended) but I'd make a really awesome boyfriend. J

Ok so here’s a list of what you could expect from dating me.

I’m a Chelsea FC fanatic. My mood and quite possibly the fate of our evening and relationship could hang on the results of a Chelsea match and your reaction to it.
I may be old but I don’t think I ever grew up. Most of the time I would think and react like a boy which could sometimes look cute but sometimes downright frustrating.
I throw tantrums like it’s a hobby. Like when a kid wants a toy and you don’t buy the toy for him and he starts crying in the middle of the street rolling over like a mad man with an epileptic episode. Annoying as fuck till you buy it for him and he has the most adorable face ever and you look at the kid and you’re like ‘awwww’ - I think I may be like that. I’m not sure but I think I can pull off the look.
I would probably buy stuff for you from time to time and surprise you with gifts.
I’m very romantic but like to be romanced every once in a while.
I’m an attention seeking missile that can explode with unprecedented drama.
I hate to admit it but I do like my drink (whiskey please). I mean after a long hard days work all I look forward to is going home and switching on the TV and have a few glasses, eat like a king and sleep.
I’ve been trying to quit smoking forever and I haven’t given up on trying either, so you’d probably be very annoyed with my regular failed attempts at some point of time.
I always sleep on the right side of the bed. That’s my zone, my area no matter whose bed it is. So you might have to learn to sleep on the left side.
After a good shower I sometimes use a conditioner to condition my beard, chest hair, arm pits and other such parts which I shall not mention.
I’m a perfume freak, I like to smell good but I sometimes over do it.
I’d probably have more shoes and perfumes than you do, which does not make me gay.
I have a very mild case of OCD but nothing serious.
I have a habit of losing my temper over unnecessary stuff. Like if I see a guy drop something and I know that knows that he’s dropped something and doesn't pick it up right away, I will effin get pissed off.
I don’t know why but I wear my watch on my right hand.
I snore a lot and I snore loud, sometimes I can actually really hear myself snore in my sleep.
I love my Grandmother and my brother more than anyone else in the whole wide world.
On certain Sundays I like to smoke up and watch movies all day. I might even forget to call you or procrastinate on replying to your texts.
I have high blood pressure and regularly forget to take my meds and do absolutely nothing to control it either.
On certain occasions I will pick a fight with you for no reason at all like it’s something to do.
I’d like to think I have a soft heart and am very compassionate masked by a bad ass image.
I also like to think I’m very friendly but I've been told otherwise.

I could go on but I think this kinda sums me up quite well. But I’ll leave you with this awesome picture and my cousin Zizi description of it. Cheers!

The subliminal messages !!!.... cute kid to show you are safe and potentially a good dad...scholastic books in the foreground to show of the smarts... shot showing off your shoulders but cutting out your belly...sunglasses off so we can see your eyes but hanging from your shirt so we know you are cool enough to wear them...the laideezs have no chance!!!
Amen!

Understanding Miss. Independent

2014-04-03T18:33:00.000+05:30

Against all odds, if I were younger I’d be deeply in love by now.
Against all odds, as I grow older I try not to.

I think starting a relationship as we grow older becomes more of a challenge on ourselves. For one we’re too damn smart and experienced on what love and relationships can do to us so we become overly cautious about everything. Every fight for instance becomes a sneak peek of what lies ahead, whatever the person said is so carefully scrutinized it starts to have a whole new meaning to what it was intended.

Eg. After a long argument one person ends with “You’re such an ass!” the other pauses for a while and the next thing you hear is “Did you just call me fat?”…“You know I have problems with my weight, but THAT does not give you the right to call my whole body an ASS”.

Relationships are hard, way harder now than it was back then. Dating an independent woman is toughest though because you never know what to do or say. You can’t buy her expensive stuff coz she might take offence to it, she might be like “oh…you think I can’t buy this for myself? I’m an independent woman” and you can’t buy anything cheap coz she’d start thinking you’re a cheap ass and that if things got serious between you two, you could possibly not take care of the family. You can’t even take them out for a romantic date and pay the bills like a man, instead you have to sit there like a broke ass bitch and watch the smirk on the waiters face while you chip in half and she takes care of the other half of the bill.

I love independent women, I mean I admire them, they have balls, don’t take bullshit and they take care of themselves. But dating one may be a problem I presume. You might be wondering how I came to this profound presumption/conclusion, well just for the sake of sounding controversial and a downright A-hole I’m gonna say this - because the concept of freedom is rather new for them.

I can imagine women’s face getting red and looking for some shit to hurl at me. But let me explain why, I’m an old fashioned guy, and as any old fashioned guy I need to understand why things change and how it affects me to an extent that I have to change too.

In my next update I shall explain how I came to this conclusion… stay tuned

Sometimes...

2014-03-28T13:53:00.002+05:30

I can feel the cold sensation of disinterest creeping up my mind. How can it be when only 9 and two thirds of an hour ago it was the warm feeling of contentment cascading through my soul?

Halfway between a quarter and a half mid life crisis, I somehow for the first time see myself as a third person. From the safety of a vantage point I watch myself looking at myself with complete contempt.

I see a man scarred with scars, dark dots and jagged lines and circles cloaked with a personality of a semi mad man part time drunk. The eclipse slowly but surely swallows his humanity as he slowly fades from existence.

The beard, yes the beard is a mask, a façade just like his clothes hiding his scars. He looks like a dying man desperately living to die. A man abandoned by hope with extreme prejudice.

Real Men

2014-03-21T12:54:00.000+05:30

What’s the difference between a man and a real man? You might think you know the answer, getting all philosophical and shit. The truth is, YOU DON'T KNOW! Lucky for you I'm here to educate your ignorant ass once again. Just follow my advice, and you will learn how to be a real man, get more respect and women will fall for you like the great walls of Jericho. Hallelujah!

The answer to the question above is simple- hold tight and shake hard!

Hell no! I don’t mean your...(you know) or anyone else’s. I’m talking about a hug and a hand shake.

Anyway here’s how its done:

Hold Tight

What’s a hug? A hug is a sign that you adore someone, that you miss them, you love them, that they mean something to you, so when you hug someone be it a man hug or a woman hug, hug them like you mean it, put some strength into it. It really doesn’t matter if you’re a bad ass gangster or a gentleman, if you don’t know how to hug proper – you’re a bitch!

But remember you cannot 'man hug' a woman and 'woman hug' a man, please don't ever do that. A man hug or a bro hug is a quick one, just 3 seconds long - use your right hand to grasp another man’s left hand and put some man strength to it and pull him close very quickly with just one shoulder touching theirs followed by a quick a pat on the back and let go. Any longer and you might leave the wrong impression. The arms should come between the shoulder and chest during the hug, you cannot have two men rubbing their chest together, it’s just not right. No No No.

Now a woman hug is more emotional and means a lot more. In a woman hug you use both arms, hold her gently before you put some strength into it (not too much though) and hold her tight as her head rests on your chest. It’s all about showing them who’s the man! It’s about showing them that you're there and that she has nothing to fear. It’s about showing them that they are safe and secure in your arms. It’s about showing them that you are her Knight in shining armor. If you do it right you will hear a sigh of relief from her and feel her heartbeat slow down. And you will feel like a real man. Don’t ever lazy hug anyone, for me it’s just plain offensive and I will despise you forever!

Shake Hard

Nothing, really Nothing fucking irritates me more than a weak handshake from another man. If you weak handshake me or offer just the tip of your hand I will despise your guts and brand you as a pussy.
A handshake was a sacred man thing back in the day - women were never allowed to shake a man’s hand because it was what men do. Handshakes were a sign that you were unarmed and a sign of trust and goodwill. Cowboys would spit on their hands and shake when deals were made. Offer a weak shake or the tip of your hand to a cowboy and you’d probably get your jingle bells blown off.

A good firm hold and two solid shakes is all it takes to confirm that you are a self confident, assertive man that cannot be messed around with. If you give me a weak shake I already know that I can defeat you mentally. If you offer me the tip of your fucking hand I know that I can beat you up mentally and physically, I might even be tempted to bitch slap you.

Here’s how you do a proper handshake – Look at the person in the eye, offer your hand, firmly grasp his hand, smile then shake twice and quickly let go. If you have something to say, do it after you let go, never hold another man’s hand while you’re talking to him, never do the endless awkward shake, never use two hands to shake a man’s hand, never rub his hands or feel his arms unless you want to get punched on the face.

So there you have it, how to be a real man - Hold tight and shake hard!

Cheers happy weekend!

Writers Block

2014-03-19T14:28:00.004+05:30

There’s nothing worse than a writer’s block for a writer because...arrrrrghhhhhh Fuck the Universe!

until next time.

She...

2014-03-03T12:06:00.003+05:30

She carries herself with a certain degree of finesse and a complete disregard for what the world might say. She smiles beautiful and her eyes sparkle with coquettish joyful flirtation; I get weak in the knees.

It's okay that she doesn't know how to french kiss and id give it up any day for hers, but we do occasionally bitch about the French for inventing something that’s so complicated and unnecessary.

She’s two extremes in a body, never shy to speak her mind. When I look at her I see a halo and a “Piss me off at your own risk” sign. I have made it my personal mission to trespass.

The world demands that relationships be defined but we like the way we pretend there’s nothing going on between us, like a well kept secret everyone knows.

It’s funny how two broken people can fit so well together, I sometimes feel like we were broken intentionally so that we could fit together.

So, do I like her? I don’t think I have any say in it.

The Saddest Songs I Know

2014-01-10T18:31:00.003+05:30

There are obviously many sad songs that really grip your heat and make you want to wail out, sometimes it’s because you share the emotions of the singer, and every line paints a vivid picture in your head and other time just because you've gone through the same situation and you connect with the song at a different level like going back in time to that tragic moment.

This is one of the reasons I can’t live without my music and I know most readers will agree. Music has a way of calming us down, taking us to places we’ve never been, make us fall in love with strangers, resurrecting dead memories and sometimes even make us cry. To be honest when I’m in love or have a crush my playlist changes to that of mushy love song, when I’m just genuinely feeling good or angry it’s the good old heavy metal and rock (Add a little bit of Rap every now and then).

Every mood has its genre of music. When I’m really mad at someone and feel like eradicating them from the face of the earth but can’t do that anymore coz I’m a grown ass man and can’t be gangster like I was in college but really feel like going Hiroshima on their faces, I listen to Rap. Especially to 2Pac and his angry songs, I imagine I’m him and letting my automatic rain on them, just the imagination makes me feel good and after a few songs I’m back to normal. “Hit’em Up” usually does the trick, imaging you are Pac and the guy you wanna destroy is Biggie and sing along if you know the lyrics, and see if you’re not smiling by the end of the song. Joygasm!

Any the point of my blog today is sad songs. What are the top saddest songs I know? Well after a few days of digging deep and going back in time here’s my list:

1. Hate Me – Blue October

If a girl you really love has broken up with you because of your drinking habits or maybe drugs etc. or whatever, then this song will open the floodgates of tears in your eyes. The eerie mixing of the vocals and the much too honest lyrics about a man broken down to his knees is enough to silence even the hardest of hearts. This is just the saddest song I know. How can you not feel bad for a guy that's breaking down saying "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways, Yeah ways hard to swallow, Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you"

2. I Saw Red – Warrant

Rumor has it that Jani Lane went insane after witnessing the scene mentioned in the chorus and was institutionalized “I saw red, when I opened up the door…and I didn’t need to see his face, I saw yours, I saw red and then I closed the door, I don’t think I’m gonna love you anymore” need I say more?

3. I Told You So – Randy Travis

Kids today would appreciate the Carrie Underwood version more but for men, the sadness and sense of hopelessness and helplessness in his voice is just so real. It’s no doubt we hate to be told I told you so by women, but this takes the line to a whole new level. I’ve experienced this myself so maybe this is why this song is always so emotional for me.

4. Anthem of the Angels – Breaking Benjamin

If you’ve lost a friend, a family member or anyone close to you and watched life slip away from them, then this song will definitely settle home in you. I’ve lost my father, 3 of my uncles and 2 of my closest friends Salim and Johntea and this song always reminds me of them. Reminds me of how much I loved them and how much they meant to me. My favorite lines from the song “Hope fills the heart and fades away” this line takes me back to the time the Doctors would tell us ‘He’s getting better or responding to treatment’ then sometime later the tragic news of death.

Well that’s all I can think of now, maybe in a few days I’ll come up with more and add to the list.
An honorable mention:

1. One – Metallica
2. Lucille – Kenny Rogers
3. Walk – Gary Barlow and almost all of Korn’s songs.

Not So Merry Christmas

2013-12-21T14:07:00.001+05:30

As I sit and sluggishly prepare myself for a rather forgetful Christmas in Delhi this year, I’m forced to wonder “what the fuck went wrong?”, “Christmas without the family?” I mean just 2 months back (October) I was happily unwrapping my Christmas tree, had a great time decorating it, and was already listening to my favorite Christmas songs. Read: NSYNC – Home for Christmas (Hands down the best Christmas Album)

how did I get from there to here?

I was so excited (always am) with the prospect of meeting my family and spending quality time with them. Now with Christmas just 3 days away all the excitement has more or less died. Christmas songs irritate the shit out of me and to be honest I really feel like packing up the tree and bury it somewhere never to see the light of day. Yes I said it!

After quite an eventful year, where I and my family have gone through some of the most traumatic experiences, it would have made sense for a happy ending but looks like it not to be. Let’s have a look at what 2013 had to offer.

To start with I have missed my flights more times than I can remember (started with missing my flight home for Christmas last year).

· I was going to write about the dream job I had to reject, but I’m very happy where I am so let’s skip to the third.

· I lost a very close friend, a brother and an ex boss in Pranay. We met on a Saturday night and planned to go out for dinner on Monday and he passed away that very Monday.

· Our cook who had been with us for close to 10 years brutally murders our Driver (RIP and God bless his soul) in Delhi. Now this is the kind of shit you watch in movies and read about in crime magazines, never expecting it would happen to you. All my siblings were convinced our house was haunted and so we had to shift out of our beautiful bungalow to an apartment in Vasant Kunj.

· This shift in address meant that I now had to travel a grueling 45 kilometers everyday to work. That’s 2 hours going and 2 coming home.

· Endless nightmares about the murder and strange occurrences that always seem to happen around 4 am (time of the murder) coupled with my high blood pressure sent me into depression. The solution – Meet a shrink! More pills for anxiety, depression, sleeping pills, BP pills etc. but I’m glad to say that as of December I’m out of all medication except for the BP. lets move on this subject is way too depressing.

· Then comes the election. The endless hours and months of strategizing our campaign, designing websites, organizing events and yes the TVCs (My uncle is the president of MPC – Mizoram Peoples Conference). I made 2 really nice TVCs hoping people would connect with the problem of bad roads and bad electricity. But then yet again all these did not translate to votes and our party the MDA (MNF and MPC) got 7 seats out of 40 and congress as always taking absolute majority.

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpBmD6w9_4k

website link: http://mizorampeoplesconference.com/

· Losing an election is like getting your heart ripped off, because of the time and energy you spend on it, needless to say the money that goes to waste and the sacrifices that you make. It still hurts like yesterday so I won’t go any further.

· Because of the many holidays that I’ve taken this year for the Murder, the Depression and the Election Campaign etc. I dint have the balls to apply for more leave to go home for Christmas and partially because of the excessively ridiculous flight rates.

· So I’m more or less forced to spend this Christmas here in Delhi with my buddy Joe. And to make things worse we don’t have girlfriends. Not that were looking out but you know, its winter, its cold at night and alcohol can only warm you so much and ummm… come on, it’s Christmas time! Spread the love? No love? Only seeds? Lol J/k. (Sometimes I don’t even know why I say the things I say).

Neway I shall count my blessings another day, for now I’m an angry man lashing out at the world because ummm… the Grinch stole my Christmas! That bastard!

So here's my Christmas plan. Drink to my hearts content and pass out early. Maybe watch the Arsenal vs Chelsea match, which I doubt we'll win given the recent or rather usual December sluggishness in form. but hell even if we lose, it gives me more reason to mourn our loss with another round of drinks. Maybe that's what being a true blue means, a blue December. I hate Christmas!

but

Merry Christmas everyone!

My Car My Music...

2013-08-30T17:19:00.001+05:30

Ever wondered what your favorite place is? I asked a few people and they gave me some pretty vague answers, while there were a few that didn't even have a favorite place some had pretty interesting answers. One person said the toilet, coz that was the only place he found peace and quiet. (I can just imaging him stressed out and sitting on the commode). One person said the balcony of his house and the rest said their bed room. One person said the kitchen, as cooking releases her stress.

Well For me it’s my Car!I drive a not too fancy Ford Fusion which I bought about 4 years ago and I love the engine and power, but a it's a gas guzzler. You would not believe the amount I spend on Gas (Petrol) every month, about 15k yes you read it right 15 thousand Fucking Rupees, that's 300 $ for you Americans. But regardless of this I still Love my Car.

Since I spend almost close to 4 hours commuting to and from work, my car is my favorite place in the whole wide world. *Bragging Alert: Which is why I spent a lot of money on my music system in my car so far it’s come close to 60k. I know a lot of people spend more than I do, but this is all I can afford to right now. All in all there's a total of 9 speakers in my car :-)

Why you ask? Well its because I love my music and its the only place where I can Max out to Pantera, Megadeth, Avenged Sevenfold etc. or maybe Backstreet boys and the likes of them, who knows...lol

I admit I do listen to all of them. Yes from the likes of the bands mentioned above to Jackson Browne, The Coors, 2 Pac, Danger Danger, Rick Price I could go on forever.

Now think of this this way if a grown ass man like me gets in the zone (Lungleng) and you start blasting Rick Prices' "Heaven Knows" or "Too Serious too Soon" by Gareth Gates, and you're singing your heart out holding a torch light as a makeshift microphone, your folks are probably gonna question your mental health. Then again if you start blasting "I'm Broken" by Pantera or "Last Resort" by Papa Roach they start labeling you as a rebel. And they start yelling turn than damn volume down!

Which is why I spent so much on my car stereo just so I get to listen to the rock/metal songs I want as loud as I want to, or sing along to my KC&JOJO, Backstreet Boys track without embarrassing myself . And screw you I know you all secretly know their songs too!

So here's the hardware setup:

For my stereo I bought a humble JVC KW-R600BT Series, it was the cheapest of the 2 din lot so I just got it, No questions asked.

For my front door speakers I had bought pioneers speakers with tweeters (non component) and was not satisfied with it so I switched it to a more powerful JBL GTO609C Series. And these fuckers are loud as hell :-)

For my rear door speakers I had Sony and wasn't satisfied with it either, so I switched that it again to JBL GTO 949 400 watt and a modest JBL GT6-s266 220 watt Speakers on the back tray.

Rear Door Speakers

Rear Tray Speakers

Nothing kicks ass more that Kicker so for my woofers I decided to get the Kicker PT8 Active Subwoofer 8". These may look small but they pump the bass up to unprecedented levels. Once I bent over and sat on my Kicker Woofer and played "Down with the sickness" By Disturbed and it actually felt like someone was kicking my ass. If i had sat through the song I'd have surely had a sore ass!

Now nothing would be complete without an amplifier to bring all these bad boys together. So since I was really broke by the time I had to buy an Amplifier, I chose the 4 Channel Kenwood KAC-7005PS. And boy am I Pleased with this beauty, my only complain is that it really only starts kicking in when the volume is above 9.

And finally for the finishing touch i bought the JVC Bluetooth Adapter just to make life easier.

(And that is how my car looks like. iPhone 5 camera sucks monkey balls in low light.)

Now you pump the volume up to 25 and listen to Pantera your balls start bouncing to the beat of the drums. One time I played a song so loud the girl sitting next to me's bra strap ripped open (true story). She was like Damn your car is loud, I pulled a smirk and said that how I roll babe! and woke up!

And what really annoys me is when people insist in playing their songs in my car! Damnit its my Car My Music My Rules. If you request to play your music in my car you are automatically blacklisted and branded a communist! that's it Period!

Anyway I had nothing better today that why this post came up! Have a great day
P.s. +Mami Pautu is a Communist

Well after a heavy night of drinking, I woke up early and hungover and bored as hell as everyone else were still sleeping so, I decided to go out and upgrade my car speakers yet again, :-)

I ditched my old JBL tray speakers and installed the Rockfort Fosgate 300 watt Speakers on the tray and also added 2 more tweeters on the door panel. Now that's a whooping 11 speakers in my car. I Challenge anyone who can get a louder sound than me!

iPhone 5 Review from a Newbie

2013-08-12T13:53:00.000+05:30

Well it’s been about a month since I got my iPhone5! What do ya know a BB boy switches to an iphone5.
For about a good 2 months I did my research, got a few advices from friends all fanboys id say, HTC One is the shizzz, Nokia Lumia is the best, an iphone is an iPhone, Samsung Galaxy 4 is the mother of all Smartphones…bla bla bla. But somehow my mind was on the Blackberry Z10, I did all kinds of research on it, compared it to the iPhone 5 and S4 and came very close in features and even exceeded others in specs and power. I knew it in my heart that it was the one for me or maybe an extension of me.

So instead of me having to buy it and if you have been following my blogs I have a very wonderful aunt who would do anything for me, so my aunt decided she would buy me one. So she calls me up at about 7 in the pm while I was still at work and I tell her I want the Blackberry Z10 and nothing else, I had even updated my Facebook status with a “Z10 it is”. After a about 20 minutes she calls me back saying the sales man doesn’t want to sell her the Blackberry Z10 and that she got me the iPhone5 instead! I was like What the Fudge! How can the fuckin salesman refuse to sell a product to someone who wants to buy it!

Anyhow I went home half excited had to get my sim cut to yet another apple fiasco nano size. Activating it took a while, the only positive about my iPhone5 so far for me was that I could talk to my sister in US and all my other siblings for free over text and face time. Here’s why I don’t think too highly of the phone. Well it’s because I have an iPod touch and as useless as I think it is I didn’t see much of a difference between besides the fact that it was faster and the camera was better.

Now here’s what I think of the iPhone5

sucks monkey balls without internet or 3G (I use Aircel so there u go I have 2G and my iPhone5 sucks monkey balls)
You can’t customize your ringtone to your fav MP3. They told me you had to down load an app to do that so I did and still haven’t figured how to make my Papa Roach song my ring tone.
Almost all iPhone users use the default right tone and it’s so annoying when one phone rings and everyone takes out their phone to check if it’s theirs. But there’s hope if you’re not satisfied with the 20 odd default ringtones offered by default YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY THEM FROM THE ITUNES STORE! WOW
And apparently the first thing I want to do was text my sister in the US saying I got a new iPhone5, so I texted her saying “guess what I got an iPhone5 …” (yes there was no smiley by default in iPhone5) so I had to go cave man shit and do the :-) . So I asked around and yet again I had to download an app for smileys
What fucked my fuse was when I realized you can’t send songs on whatsapp to your friends! It’s locked.
They said the keypad was the smartest on the market and boy are they wrong; the auto correct is as dumb as a 2 headed blonde's maybe 3. I had fight with my buddy and I was so mad I wanted to type fuck you and mr. auto correct corrected it to Duck you!
Bottom line - You need constant internet and you need to download an app for everything to enjoy your iPhone5.
What’s good about the phone is the touch and retina display. So far nothing seems to even come close to it.
Siri is always fun to hang with and ask dumb questions to. The other day I asked her Siri would you kiss me? She answered why would I want to do that? I asked again and she replied I’d rather not say.
Tons of apps to download and battery gives me about 10 hours on full charge.
It can’t really multitask like the Blackberry Z10 or the Galaxy S4 but it can manage.
The camera is awesome both front and back but falls behind in low light conditions I don’t think anyone can beat the Nokia Lumia phone cameras. iPhone5’s pictures in low light tend to get grainy with a lot of noise.
Apple really needs to change the UI, it’s getting boring oh so boring! I checked out leaked pictures of the IOS7 and it looks colorful but nothing new again.

I don't see anything that will entice me to switch from my iPhone 5 to the ohhh soooo wonderful iPhone 5 S. If you do bravo you are truly one of a kind.

In the end of it all I’m still a blackberry boy at heart I miss the keypad mostly, the BB hub and the red blinking light when you get messages or mails. All in all I think the iPhone5 is a solid phone feels heavy, looks great and feel like a genuine premium product. But unless they come up with a cheaper version of it soon and with apple stocks going down they might not be able to maintain the high and mighty status they currently enjoy.

In all honesty it's an awesome phone but i just don't know what to do with it yet. I’m still learning and beginning to understand my phone, I don’t love it yet but I like it for now and hopefully I’ll learn to love it. But I will always miss my blackberry!

And here are a few pics taken from my iPhone 5.

Letters to Juliet

2013-07-19T16:11:00.000+05:30

Dear Juliet,

As I look back over my shoulder and contemplate on the time that has passed since we went our separate ways, I wonder if we have found what we set out to find. Did we not say life would be better if
I went north and you went south? In the course of your journey you have found religion and I have lost one,
I have lived the world you left to the fullest and found no satisfaction, I only hope that you have fared better.

How much more different could our paths and lives be than this? But I have begun to realize that try as we may we could never fight the laws of nature. How welcoming for a change.

And I find it most striking that it is the same situation that drove us apart that has brought you back into my life. What is it about death that connects us? Could it be that we were meant to be together?
My mind is forced to wonder, if it is a situation as such that has brought us back together, could it be that our next parting be when death do us part? Could our story finally be told as the rose that grew from concrete? I can only hope.

During our years apart, I held on to the greatest gift known to humanity ‘Hope’, but yet it gave me no relief, for in contrast like the dark side of the moon, I realized that hope as they say is the worst of all evils, for it prolongs the torment of man! What of our beautiful memories? I would ask myself. But as short lived as the happiness they bring, memories they always have such sad endings.

Every sad ending I have recently learned, starts with a new beginning. And what welcome timing than now that you decided to reveal yourself like the dawn of a moonless night.

Juliet, our story has but yet again just begun to unfold, and it is with unrivaled enthusiasm and promise that look towards tomorrow and its kin.

Always,