North Meets South

December 2014

2015-09-10T20:54:00.003-04:00

December 2014 was a big month for us. Spencer turned 30, we had our 6th anniversary, my entire family was together for Christmas for the first time in years, and unbeknownst to us at the time, it was our last Christmas season in New York.

One of my favorite ways to kick off the Christmas season is to go caroling at this darling church around the corner from our apartment. On the first Sunday in December, tons of people come out, and we stand in front of the church and sing Christmas carols (usually off-beat and off-key, but whatever). Spencer and I went with our friends the Belnaps and the Briggses for a bit of caroling and then hot chocolate and cookies at our apartment afterwards.

On the 15th, Spencer turned 30! He made me promise no parties, especially no surprise parties, so we celebrated with a low-key day. I made Spencer's favorite waffles, wrote him 30 things I love about him on 30 sticky notes, and gave him 30 presents. Spencer is 30-years-old, and dang, he makes it look good.

For Christmas and New Year's, we went up to Maine to be with my entire family. We hadn't all been together for Christmas since 2011, I think, and my sister had recently gotten back from serving an 18-month mission for our church in Brazil. We had a fantastic week and a half of games, movies, puzzles, thrifting, and a surprising lack of snow.

My sister Andrea and I took our niece and nephew to the cemetery on my parents' property to try and find some snow to play in.

The whole clan went duck-pin bowling.

We played a slew of "Minute to Win It" games on NYE, and it was a blast! With this one, we had to move an Oreo from our forehead to our mouths with no hands.

While up in Maine, Spencer and I celebrated 6 years of marriage! In six years, we've lived in 4 apartments, gotten 3 degrees, launched 2 careers, experienced 1 round of IVF, traveled to 4 countries and many states, and have really done our best to enjoy the wonder of living in New York City. They have been a FANTASTIC 6 years, and I'm grateful every day to be married to this guy.

For the 2nd year in a row, we went to Oxford House Inn for our anniversary dinner. So delicious!

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Charleston

2015-09-08T16:19:00.000-04:00

2014 was the year of travel - we were basically packing it all in before the baby came. Spencer thought Italy would be the end of it, but then Jet Blue had a killer deal on flights to Charleston, which I've always wanted to see...so we went to Charleston!

It was a long weekend of eating delicious food, seeing historical sites, and relaxing in the hotel (well, I was relaxing. Spencer had to work). Oh my goodness, the food! I haven't had good Southern food like that since I moved from Alabama in 2006, so I was sure to hit up all the best. We had BBQ, grits (shrimp grits, plain grits, all the grits!), biscuits and gravy, beignets, shrimp po' boy, pecan pralines, BLUEBELL ICE CREAM, and more biscuits!

I guess the other things were cool too, like the insanely beautiful homes, moss-covered graveyards, and the Fort Sumter ferry ride and tour. They were alright. ;)

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend before I got so hugely pregnant that traveling would be uncomfortable, and if you get the chance, go to Charleston! You won't regret it.

Spencer thought the caption behind me was fitting.

One of the many beautiful churches in the town

This graveyard is the stuff of Halloween dreams

On the ferry ride to Fort Sumter

That cannonball was legit shot during the Civil War. Nbd

Sunset over Charleston

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I'm in trouble

2015-07-19T22:19:00.000-04:00

She's already rolling all over the place, and now this:

Eep.

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Video Dump

2015-06-18T22:08:00.000-04:00

There are two things I've been so grateful for as a parent - smart phones and the internet. How people ever survived parenthood without them is beyond me.

Here's some of the videos I've taken on that blessed smart phone:

At barely over a month, Esther sat around and complained. She's definitely a New Yorker ;)

Esther really started to smile at 2 months, and unsurprisingly, one thing really makes her smile:

She's always disliked tummy time, and at 10 weeks, Esther found a way out of it.

(Oddly enough, she recently began rolling from back to tummy and then forgets how to roll to her back. She instead screams and cries until I rescue her.)

Last, at 3 months, Esther has discovered her hands, her voice, and her kicks.

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Esther Violet Ricks - a Birth Story

2015-06-10T15:27:00.001-04:00

Anyone who has been pregnant will tell you that every week of pregnancy over 36 weeks feels like a year. Anyone who has gone over their due date will tell you that every day over 40 weeks feels like an eon.

Taken on March 6th, two days past my due date

As you can therefore imagine, I was less than pleased when March 8th, 4 days after my due date, was coming to a close and all I had experienced were those go-nowhere, low-grade contractions. Frustrated and feeling fat, I set about making these cinnamon rolls (her freezing method is genius!) at around 9 pm. A bit after midnight, I pulled them out of the oven (which broke during the baking process and didn't get fixed until Esther was over a week old), left the rolls to cool, and went to bed.

I had really bad sciatic pain during pregnancy, and by February, I was waking up every hour or hour and half with crazy leg/bum pain on whichever side I was sleeping. I would flex my legs a bit, maybe go to the bathroom, and then start sleeping on my other side. I hated whenever someone told me to sleep as much as I could before the baby was born because sleeping was so painful.

Around 5:40 am on March 9th, I woke up with the aforementioned sciatic pain. I sat up in bed, debating whether to go to the bathroom or not, when a gush of liquid told me that my body decided for me. I rushed to the bathroom, pretty sure that the liquid was not urine. It felt different, and I had never peed on myself during pregnancy (unless I was throwing up). Sure enough, I wiped and saw some of my mucus plug on the toilet paper. Knowing that I was in for a long day, I changed my underwear/pajamas, told Spencer my water broke, and went back to bed.

Every now and then, I'd wake up with a contraction, and then I'd fall back asleep once it had passed. This continued for a few hours until 8:30 or so when I called my OB to let them know that I wouldn't be coming in for my appointment today since I was in labor. After that, Spencer and I got ready for the day. (Piece of advice - shave your legs before going to the hospital. I did that on a friend's suggestion, and I was so glad I had! I didn't have the time or energy to shave them again for weeks.) I finished the cinnamon rolls, Spencer did some work, and we let my doula know that today was the day! All the while, I'd get contractions, timing them with this app and enduring them by kneeling in front of the couch. It's funny now to think about how I thought those contractions were strong, and I was so proud of myself for enduring them well. Hahaha! I guess ignorance is bliss, right?

Around noon, we told my doula, my amazing friend Hannah, to come to our apartment so we could head to the hospital. My contractions were about a minute long, coming 5 to 4 minutes apart, and had been doing this for at least an hour. Hannah arrived, we took a longest cab ride of my life to the hospital, went up to the labor and delivery wing, and waited. And waited. And waited. I spent close to two hours, sitting and waiting to be admitted to triage. Spencer and Hannah would periodically ask at the desk when I would be helped, and they would be somewhat rudely brushed off. Maybe it's because I dealt with my contractions by being quiet as opposed to screaming? Who knows but it was RIDICULOUS.

A bit after 2 pm, I finally got admitted to triage. They set up monitors for my contractions and Esther's heart rate, checked my cervix, and ran two tests to see if my water had actually broken. I was 1 cm dilated, and both tests came back negative. I was devastated. What were all those contractions for then? And I knew my water had broken! Thankfully, the physician's assistant who checked me agreed with me since she couldn't feel my bag of waters and my fluid levels were low. Not to mention that the monitor showed my contractions coming regularly and getting more intense. She conferred with my OB, and they both decided that I should be admitted to labor and delivery. BUT they wanted to give me Cervidil.

My heart dropped like a rock. I had wanted a drug-free birth. The PA said they'd give me 12 hours on Cervidil (which "augments" labor by softening your cervix. doesn't induce it) before giving me Pitocin, which I wanted to avoid like the plague. Going on Cervidil also meant getting an IV and having continuous monitoring - two other things I wanted to avoid. Heart-broken, I sent Hannah home since it seemed like the baby wouldn't be coming for a long, long time. I got moved to an L&D room, and Spencer and I settled in for the long haul.

Thankfully, I could still move around and labor in various positions until I got the Cervidil. I preferred kneeling on the floor over a birthing ball or on the toilet. Around 4 pm, they inserted the Cervidil behind my cervix (which was still only dilated 1 cm), and I spent the next hour laboring in the bed (a requirement with Cervidil), listening to This American Life. What, Ira Glass isn't on your birthing playlist as well?

The next couple of hours were a blur. Once I was able to get up, I spent a lot of time laboring on the toilet, bringing all my monitors and IV into the bathroom with me. Poor Spencer kept checking on me through the doorway, making sure I was ok. At one point, I looked into the toilet and realized I had peed out the Cervidil, which meant I had to alert the nurse so it could be reinserted. The PA took a while to come check on me, but by the time she finally did, she said I was dilated to a 6 or 7 and no longer needed the Cervidil. This was 7 pm, a mere 3 hours after the last time I was checked and declared 1 cm dilated. Hallelujah, my contractions were doing something after all!

Shortly thereafter, my OB checked on me, and bless her soul! As you can tell, I am not a big fan of the hospital at which I gave birth, but my OB? My OB is absolutely incredible, and I love, love, love her. She had the nurse cap my IV, said I could eat food, and switched me to intermittent monitoring. Basically everything that I had wanted to facilitate an epidural-free birth. She also said that the baby probably wouldn't come until Tuesday. However, it was also around this time that I had Spencer tell my doula to come back. Thing were getting intense down below, and I knew I needed my entire birth team.

Here's where I need to say a few (or a million) words about Spencer and Hannah. I cannot imagine a better birth team than these two; I honestly don't know how I would have delivered Esther without them. Spencer was THEE best birth coach, so encouraging and loving. So many times I cried out in agony, doubting whether I could continue. I was feeling especially low right after I got the Cervidil because I hadn't dilated anymore, and omg, how could I continue on for hours or even days? My labor had begun almost 12 hours ago, and there was still no end in sight! How could I survive? Each time I expressed self-doubt, Spencer would buoy me up, telling me that I was doing great and that I could get through one more contraction. Yes, I thought. I can do one more contraction. By giving me a concrete, short-term obstacle, Spencer gave me the mental and emotional strength to carry on. He also aided me physically by giving counter-pressure throughout hours of contractions. He followed my lead perfectly and never left my side.

And then Hannah. Oh, Hannah! She is not a doula by trade and hasn't attended any other births. She's a close friend, and it wasn't until I was over 30 weeks that we even discussed her being my doula. She read The Birth Partner (as did Spencer), spoke with family members who had had natural birth, and that was the extent of her training. But she was fantastic! She didn't bat an eye when I was short with her, followed my instructions, and filled my non-emotional needs (ice chips, water, birth music, massaging my back) so that Spencer could focus solely on getting me through contractions.

Sometime between 9 and 10, after experiencing the most intense pain of my life, I felt my contractions changing. At the end of each contraction, my body would bear down, pushing hard. I told the nurse that I felt the need to push, but when they checked me, I was only 9 cm dilated. Because of this, the doctor told me to resist the urge to push, and that right there was the hardest part of labor. All along I had been giving into my body's urges, relaxing into contractions instead of resisting them. But now I had to fight my body? This is when I grabbed Spencer by his waist and wouldn't let him go. This is when my moans turns to screams. Nothing was worse than resisting that intense urge to push. I could not longer labor in various positions but had to sit on the bed, which allowed me to fight my urge but only made my back labor worse (pretty much all my labor pains were in my back).

Me and my wonderful OB, Dr. Ng

Over and over, I asked for the doctor to check me, and around 10:45 or so, she did. Finally, finally, I was 10 cm. This was it. I could do what my body wanted! Spencer and Hannah each held one of my legs. I grasped the handles on the side of the bed, shut my eyes real tight, and bore down as hard as I could. All the while, my OB massaged my perineum (I told you, she's amazing) and told me to hold my breath, push!, and breathe.

I have never done something so physically intense as trying to push Esther out, and I began to be exhausted from the labor, from the long day, from the lack of sleep. Eventually, everyone exclaimed that they could see the head! And then she was crowning! I pushed and pushed, but she wouldn't budge. The doctor said that if she did the smallest snip, the baby would come the next time I pushed. In my exhaustion and desire for this to end, I acquiesced. My doctor did a small cut (only 2 stitches to close it up), I pushed, and there! I could feel it! Her head was out! The cord was around her neck twice, so the doctor quickly unlooped it before my next contraction, which came shortly. As that last contraction came, I felt the rest of her body slip out, and Esther Violet was born.

I had no concept of time; I hadn't been aware of time the entire day but especially while pushing. What I thought lasted for hours had only been 45ish minutes as Esther, all 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches long, was born at 11:38 pm on Monday, March 9th.

There are no words in any human language to describe my emotions following Esther's birth. The moments that followed are the most special ones in my life, and I wish to relive them over and over. I went from the lowest low to the highest high as the nurse quickly dried a quiet but alert Esther off and laid her on my chest. Never before had God and heaven felt so real as when Spencer and I looked at Esther, lying on me. Filled with as much awe and emotions as I was, Spencer spoke something to the effect of "she's perfect," and Esther immediately looked up at him. She knew him. She knew me. And we knew her - a perfect little family of three.

Ignore my double-chin and focus on Spencer's expression

HAIR

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The Rickses in Italy - Day 9-10: Venice

2015-06-08T23:35:00.001-04:00

Last on our Italy docket was Venice, which barely made it in since I wasn't that interested in it. However, Spencer's sole request was that we visit Venice, and I couldn't deny him. Only later did I discover this was the reason he wanted to see the watery city:

Oh, you don't know what this is? Yeah, me neither, but Spencer recognized it immediately as the plaza in which Harrison Ford climbs out of the sewer system in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Cue eye roll.

But I'm so glad we went to Venice for a couple of reasons, even if we had to battle hordes of cruise tourists. One, this city is unlike any other I've ever seen. I mean, you are walking along and bam! The street dead ends at a canal, and you have to wind your way through all sorts of twisty, turny streets to find a bridge. Two, I finally had a doner kebab reminiscent of my Spain days (I had one in Rome that was only so-so), and Spencer finally understood why I've been talking about them for 7 years. Finally, Venice is really just a beautiful city.

Remember when I thought I was showing at this point? Bahahaha!!!

It started POURING when we got off our water bus. We hid under this ramp while we waited for our B&B host to pick us up.

St. Mark's Basilica and Square

See what I mean about the panoramas?

Like Rome, Venice had a million beautiful churches. I could spend forever visiting churches.

DONER KEBAB!!!!

Spencer introduced me to this stuff, and we had it in basically every city we went to.

Spencer and I had absolutely the best time in Italy. I'm so happy that I could ride trains all over that country with this guy. He's my favorite travel buddy, and I can't wait until our next adventure:

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The Rickses in Italy - Day 6-8: Rome

2015-06-08T21:49:00.000-04:00

Of all the places we were going to in Italy, I was most excited about Rome. I LOVE ancient history and was absolutely ecstatic to see the ruins and historical architecture. In fact, Rome was the only place we booked tours since that isn't really our jam, but the Colosseum and Vatican City beg to be toured.

Our first day in Rome was a partial day, coming from Cinque Terre and checking into our Airbnb apartment (which was this place in the Jewish Quarter), so we just meandered around the city. The beauty of Rome is that you can happen upon ancient ruins on one block, Renaissance art on the next, and of course, a beautiful church on both. Here's what we came across that first day:

Where Caesar was murdered and now a million cats live there

Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi in Piazza Navona

Sunset over St. Peter's Basilica

Near Castel Sant'Angelo. In case you can't tell, I was exhausted

It should be noted that both Trevi fountain and the Spanish steps were under-construction and therefore, very underwhelming.

The next day was our ancient history day, yay! We slept in a bit, mostly because I kept waking up in the night to check on our laundry. We had the world's tiniest washer in our apartment, and we could not figure it out. One load was in the wash for like 6 hours, which set me into tears thinking our clothes would be ruined (remember, I was pregnant and tired). Once we were out and walking towards the Colosseum, a flash rainstorm came, and we took cover in an Italian military exhibit that focused on the world wars (which was super bizarre when you remember that the Italians fought against America). Thankfully, the rain didn't last too long, and Spencer and I had pre-purchased tickets to the Colosseum, so we only had to wait in line for all of 5 minutes.

The only way to describe the Colosseum is COOL. I mean, this thing is OLD and has so much history!

Spencer learned about the panoramic option on the iPhone and became obsessed.

After the Colosseum, we headed over to the Forum and Palatine Hill, which was so massive. We had a tour book to help us with the Forum/Palatine Hill, but a guide would have been nice. Either way, Spencer was like a kid in a candy store, hopping from ruin to ruin, taking a million photos, while I felt all 16 weeks of pregnancy and was so tired and hungry.

After that, we went to the Pantheon. Like I said, we hit up all of those ancient history sites in one fell swoop!

We ended all of this awesomeness with the best gelato we had all trip, Giolitti, and with watching The Gladiator because duh.

Our last full day in Rome was spent taking a tour of Vatican City. If you ever go, you should definitely get the guided tour because there is so much to see. I had no idea that the Vatican museums were so huge! We saw the museums, the Sistine Chapel, and St. Peter's Basilica, all of which were breath-taking. Spencer and I agreed that this was our favorite single thing we saw in all of Italy. (Side note: Spencer and I had to literally RUN to Vatican City because we had heard that if we didn't get there early enough for our tour, we'd get bumped, and we were running late. So I showed up super sweaty and wiped, and we got in super early.)

surreptitious photo in the Sistine Chapel

It should be known that both Spencer and I were totally exhausted after these 3 days of walking all over Rome. Yes, I kept up with Spencer, and he was just as tired as I was. So we took a nap for a couple of hours, went across the Tiber River to explore, and then ate Chinese for dinner because we were tired of Italian food.

The women running the restaurant didn't speak English, we don't speak Italian or Chinese, but when we spoke Spanish, all was understood, haha!

Rome had delicious pasta, even more delicious gelato, amazing ruins, beautiful churches, and gorgeous neighborhoods. We loved Rome!

16 weeks pregnant in Rome!

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The Rickses in Italy - Days 3-5: Cinque Terre

2015-02-26T13:56:00.000-05:00

Sandwiched between touring 4 different cities, Spencer and I took a break to the Italian Riveria, specifically Cinque Terre. As much as I relish touring cities from sun-up to sun-down, I thought that a bit of down time would be appreciated. Little did I know how exhausted I'd get during pregnancy - a beach-break was absolutely necessary.

Day 3 saw us waking up BEFORE the crack of dawn to catch our train from Florence to La Spezia. We had a stop in Pisa, but sadly, we couldn't see the tower from the train station. Ah well. From La Spezia we took a tiny local train full of beach-goers to Monterosso al Mare, the Cinque Terre town with the most extensive sand beach (which really isn't saying anything). I didn't quite realize just how tiny the Cinque Terre towns are! You walk for 15 minutes, and you see the whole thing.

For our lodging in Cinque Terre, we went to the local internet cafe and told the owner of the establishment that we wanted an apartment for 3 nights. He called up the landlords (this old couple), the wife gave him the keys by dropping them out of her 2nd story window, and then her husband, who spent all day every day sitting on the same bench underneath the same tree, hobbled over to the apartment to let us in. This entire transaction made me feel like I had gone back in time. How cool to be in a place where all the residents know each other and call to each other on the street! Our apartment was perfect - kitchen with lemon trees right outside (Cinque Terre is known for its lemons), a bedroom that looked over a tiny, historic church, and no internet.

Lemon trees and the lemons Spencer picked (was it legal? we have no idea):

Party in the church's courtyard happening right outside our bedroom window. Sadly, they didn't save us any food.

Our first day was spent exploring Monterosso al Mare and, of course, going to the beach.

New Monterosso al Mare! (We stayed in Old Monterosso al Mare.) Can you believe that water? So stinkin' blue! Turns out all beaches with umbrellas are "private" and cost money; any beach without an umbrella meant it was free. Guess which beach we went to.

Our first full day in Cinque Terre was spent hiking among the villages. Only two of the trails were open, so we didn't hit up the southernmost two villages.

Old Monterosso al Mare - you can see the start of the hiking trail winding around.

From Monterosso we hiked to Vernazza, which is considered to be the most picturesque of the five towns.

Taking a break on the pier was not the worst place to eat a fresh focaccia (another thing Cinque Terre is known for) sandwich for lunch.

From Vernazza, we went to Corgnilia, the only town to not have direct access to the sea...because it's on the top of a cliff!

In Corniglia, we had a lemon granita, which is cold and yummy and absolutely perfect when you are hot, sweaty, and 15 weeks pregnant.

Obviously I was super excited about the granita.

From Corniglia, we hiked back to Vernazza, and then from Vernazza to Monterosso, I insisted that we take the train because again, 15 weeks pregnant and I had been hiking for like 6 hours at that point. At least we got one more sweet photo of Vernazza:

Our last day in Cinque Terre was spent chilling at the (free) beach, reading, and napping.

Those three days in Cinque Terre were perfect after touring two cities at break-neck speed and before heading off to two more cities, and the hike was one of our favorite activities from the entire trip. If you ever go to Italy, stop over at Cinque Terre - you won't regret it.

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The Rickses in Italy - Day 1-2: Milan/Florence

2014-09-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

Earlier this year, Spencer and I were discussing where to go for vacation this year as for the first time in our married life, we had the happy happenstance of having both money and time. Initially we considered going to visit Spencer's parents in Japan, but I've been wanting to go back to Europe, specifically Italy, for ages. Spencer was down with pushing back Japan a year, especially since we were planning to do in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in May/June, and this could be our last vacation pre-baby (we figured that if the IVF worked, I'd be in my 2nd trimester, and if didn't work, then we'd have something to look forward to). Flights were purchased in April, and we were Italy-bound!

Our first stop was Milan. It wasn't initially on my go-to list, but the flights to Milan were hundreds of dollars cheaper AND non-stop (yay for Emirates Airlines!), so to Milan we went. We left New York at 10:30 pm on Thursday night and arrived in Milan at noon on Friday. We only spent that afternoon/evening in Milan, so we made quick work of checking into our apartment and heading out into the city.

We saw the cathedral, the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, and meandered about various neighborhoods, which is how we see every city - by meandering and getting lost. Fairly modern and wealthy, Milan was pretty, but honestly, nothing spectacular. If it weren't for the flights, we wouldn't have bothered. Ok, actually, the cathedral was spectacular, and I'm so glad I got to add it to my collection of cathedrals I've seen:

Oh, and we ate the best gnocchi of my life in Milan - freaking melted in my mouth!

Early the next morning, we walked to the train station and caught a speedy train to Florence. Speeds of almost 300 km/hr! Spencer loved it. Again, we were only spending the day in Florence, leaving early the next morning. But let me tell you what, we packed it in saw so freaking much in that short day.

We started with the San Lorenzo market, skipping the touristy goods and going straight to the food section, browsing around until getting sandwiches and lemon soda. Spencer has been looking for lemon soda since he came back from Chile in 2006, and Italy is the first place we've been to that has it! I totally get why he's raved about it all these years.

Again, we meandered about, seeing various sites and generally getting lost. First up was, of course, the Duomo with its glorious dome:

It was hard to get a good picture, but the fresco was astounding.

We didn't climb the tower as the line was insane and I don't do well with stairs. Instead, we headed towards San Miniato on the other side of the Arno. Basically, we heeded the majority of the advice in this article about spending a day in Florence.

The view was worth the hike and eating some gelato on the way didn't hurt.

First of many gelatos, and 15 weeks at this point.

When we went to Milan, I was kinda disappointed. I'd always had this vision in my head of what Italy looked like, and Milan did not match that vision at all. Then, we went to Florence. Oh my. That city is the place of dreams. I mean, you are walking along and bam! A palace. You walk a few more steps and bam! A masterpiece from a Renaissance artist. There were also a billion beautiful churches and even processions out of said churches.

Well, hello, Neptune

Ponytail wasn't part of the procession.

Florence at sunset isn't all that bad either.

The day ended with the best meal we ate in Italy with Spencer's cousin and her husband. No, we didn't see The David or go to the Uffizi Gallery (that's not really our thing and the lines! oof.), but we saw so, so much, absolutely loved Florence, and in the end, were ready to move on to our next adventure - Cinque Terre!

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Lazy Weekends of August

2014-08-18T14:54:00.000-04:00

This Saturday Spencer and I found ourselves in the glorious position of wondering, "so what do we do today?" For the first time since probably last year, Spencer didn't work a single bit this past weekend (well, he didn't work last weekend either, but he had an insane cold and was mostly out of commission). We were head-over-heels ecstatic to have the weekend to ourselves! However, we were also stumped as what to do. Normally, our summer Saturdays were always go to the burbs and go waterskiing, but sadly, that is no longer an option. So what do we do if we can't waterski? We explore the city, duh.

We got up early and biked down Summer Streets before the crowds hit, stopped at Economy Candy for baby shower favors, and because Spencer was adamant, got dumplings. At 10:30 in the morning. "If I'm down here, I'm going to get dumplings," he said. I passed on them, needless to say. We got home by noon, and after eating and showering, we were like now what?

(Spencer said, "this is problem with waking up early on Saturdays." I told him to hesh up - I have a serious love of Saturday mornings.)

After a bit of America's Next Top Model (judge not that ye be not judged! and yeah, Spencer hates that show), we walked through Central Park and all around the Upper West Side. Like the old people we are, we parked our rear-ends on a bench by the Hudson River and people-watched for a embarrassingly long time. And because no trip to the UWS is complete without a stop at Trader Joe's, we quickly purchased a few necessities, like Meyer lemon cookie thins and wasabi-flavored seaweed. Only had-to-haves, clearly.

The rest of the night included Spencer making homemade pizza like a champ and watching multiple episodes of The West Wing.

Sunday followed in a wonderfully blissful manner - french toast and peaches for breakfast, church, naps, bike riding in the park, more of Spencer making dinner and more West Wing. I basically had to pinch myself all weekend, wondering if it was for real - no work, no demands, just us, doing whatever we wanted.

Good thing this doesn't happen too often, or we might get sick of each other.

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Unintentional Radio Silence

2014-08-06T16:17:00.002-04:00

Writing is something I don't naturally enjoy. Once I'm in the habit of writing, I can carry on like it ain't no thang, but if I ever get out of the habit? Well, I don't write a darn word for almost four months. In an effort of writing again and documenting our lives, here's what we were up to, April through July:

We still exist! Easter Sunday 2014, photo by my sister

April: April saw me working the most I ever have in my entire life (first and hopefully only weekend plus lots of late nights). I got a teeny glimpse of what it's like to be Spencer, and I honestly have no idea how he works those hours on a regular basis. NO IDEA. For Easter we went up to Massachusetts to be with my family, but with a quick stop in Boston! I hadn't been to the actual city of Boston in ages, and then I went two months in a row (March with my older sister and April to crash Spencer's work trip for a night)! Such a cute city. April's most notable happening was that it was my in-laws last month of living in New York. When not at work or in Massachusetts, we spent all of our free time with Spencer's parents, who moved on May 2nd after living in the NYC suburbs for 36 years. After a month in Utah, they moved to Tokyo where my father-in-law is doing legal work for our church, and my mother-in-law is doing service work. (See more of their adventures on their blog.) We miss them terribly, and I'm in denial that they are never moving back here. Sob!

May: We were both still working a lot in May, but never fear, good times were had. We did a fair amount of biking on the weekends, and I ran two races in my quest to do the 9+1 program for entrance to the NYC 2015 marathon. This marked the 3rd year in a row that I did the Brooklyn Half Marathon, and my gosh, I love that race. I hope to do it every year we live here. Memorial Day weekend saw us in DC for a day for Spencer's cousin's wedding (I was sooooo happy to be farther south for a bit!), work for Spencer, and then more biking and delicious tacos.

June: I was not working a lot in June (just assume that Spencer always is), and it was a pretty chill month. Spencer and I are trying to adjust to spending our summer Saturdays in the city, when normally we'd be with his parents, waterskiing on the lake. Sigh...I didn't run much as I've had some tendinitis issues that needed to heal, so no races. I did go to my first concert in NYC - Ingrid Michaelson at Terminal 5 with a couple of girlfriends. It was a blast, and Ingrid Michaelson was fantastic live. My sister Jenna came into town one weekend with a friend, so I hung out with them a bit, and then we went out to Fire Island another weekend when Spencer's sister Liz was there. Go check out her photos - they are gorgeous. We ate the fanciest meal of our lives, and went to another wedding! A close friend got married at the very tippy-tip of Manhattan, across from the Statue of Liberty with a gorgeous sunset in the background. We then ate and danced the night away, and it was perfect.

July: Again, work was kinda slow, so I found other things to fill my time. I started taking Excel classes after work, learning how to do VBA Macros, and yeah, I watch a lot of tv. For the 4th, we went up to Maine with the rest of my family, where we hiked and ate and saw fireworks and a parade. I always love going up there. I ran race #6 with Kiasa, my friend and running buddy who sadly moved to the suburbs. She was the one who got me through my first Brooklyn Half, and I was so happy to catch up with her. Spencer continued to work, including one weekend wherein he billed over 40 hours. Ouch. I planned a baby shower I'm throwing in August and OUR TRIP TO ITALY. We go in September, and I'm soooooo excited. Other than that, we try to enjoy the city on the weekends - get cheap eats in various neighborhoods, go to free concerts, and spend Sunday afternoons in Central Park.

So that's what we've been up to. I'm excited for August, which always seems like the start of summer for me (due to internships and bar exam in prior summers). Things have already looked up with us attending our fourth Shakespeare in the Park on Saturday and planning to bike Summer Streets this weekend!

P.S. no promises that I'll blog in the next four months :)

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I don't know how Spencer does it

2014-04-14T20:04:00.002-04:00

On Thursday, I worked from 9 am to 8:30 pm.
On Friday, I worked from 9 am to 10:30 pm.
On Saturday, I worked from 10:30 am to 12:30 am.

Working 39ish hours over those 3 days makes that the most I have ever worked in my adult career. Part of me is proud of it, like it's a rite of passage. I've probably mentioned this before, but I normally work great hours, solidly 9 to 5 or 6 WITH a 1-hour lunch. In fact, my hours are known among my friends for being cushy. And the times I do have to work late (i.e., quarter-end, month-end, or P&I day), I always know what days those will be, and I rarely stay later than 8:30. I had never worked a weekend before. The other part of me is like, never do this again!

Working in the office on a Saturday until almost 1 am? That one was a doozy, right there. The crazy thing is that I didn't actually mind it in the moment. I mean, sure, it sucked big time working on the nicest day of the year. It sucked big time being in the office when Spencer was actually around (something that hasn't happened too much lately). But! I was so freakin' busy that the time just flew. Those 14 hours honestly felt more like 4. The most shocking part of it all, and what definitely made the weekend not as terrible as it could have been, is that all of us stuck in the office all those hours were cordial, helpful, and kind throughout the entire thing. Who on earth is gracious and polite at midnight?! I truly have the best coworkers.

A bizarre side-effect of working until 12:30 was that I couldn't fall asleep until 3 am. Yes, I was zonked, but because my mind had been in overdrive for so long, I couldn't shut it off. My coworkers had the same problem. Guess I had no choice but to watch some Vampire Diaries. :)

Sunday, thank goodness, was another beautiful day, and I didn't have to go to the office. I did oversleep church, waking up at 10:30, thinking it started at 11. In fact, we were meeting at 10, an hour earlier than normal. In my defense, we do usually meet at 11, and please, you think my brain was functioning? Spencer was also extremely exhausted from a very crazy work week and requires that I wake him on Sunday basically every week. So after sleeping in, we went to Woodlawn Cemetery (the most beautiful cemetery I've ever seen), walked around Saxon Woods, and spent time with my in-laws. I was surprisingly cheerful and functional. I was cuddly and chipper! Spencer didn't know what to make of it.

Then, Monday morning came about. You better believe I've been a zombie alllllll day. Doesn't help that we are doing a quarter-end on top of what went down this weekend, meaning lots o' work and staying to the "late" hour of 8 pm. I'm pooped.

And with all this going on, the one thought that comes to my mind over and over again is "How on earth does Spencer do it?!??!!" He works these hours and even worse! Regularly! My brain is so fuzzy - how does he ever concentrate? I'll happily not make quite (ok, not nearly) as much and work my sweet, sweet 40 hours a week.

Spencer, upon hearing this, nodded his head and said "mmm-hmmm!". As he deserves to.

I too want a mausoleum and gorgeous road sign for my resting place.

Waaaaaay back in the day, Spencer made oodles of birdhouses for Saxon Woods as his Eagle Scout project. And guess what? They are still there! Cutie.

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Fabulous Bits of First Quarter 2014

2014-04-09T15:56:00.000-04:00

I think it's high-time that I review some of the fabulous bits of the first quarter of 2014. Too easily can I forget them amidst all the cold and ennui that generally characterize January through March of basically every year ever and especially 2014. Therefore, here I am, putting the good stuff down on paper (well, internet), because guess what? It is possible to be happy in New York in February (video H/T Lauren).

Here's what I've loved about 2014 thus far:

- Going up to Maine with friends for a long weekend. I just love, love, love going up to Maine, and we have such amazing friends.

- Running a race a month. I'm doing the 9+1 program for guaranteed entrance to the 2015 NYC marathon, and 3 of the 4 races I ran this year (already did April's) qualify for the program. In May, I'll be knocking out 2 more races.

- Puerto Rico. duh.

- Biking. It finally got warm enough to bike around a couple of Saturdays ago, and Spencer and I biked all around East Harlem and Randall's Island with our friends. I had been dying to go biking because I hadn't gone since early November and this is a bit ridiculous considering I had never even biked in the city until August of last year. But now I'm hooked.

- Cross-country skiing in New Paltz (as seen here and here). It's the same place where we love to go in the fall and hike the Lemon Squeeze (seen here). Every time I'm up there, I never want to move. If you haven't been to the Hudson Valley area in New York, you haven't seen beauty. (ok, you probably have. but still, you are missing out.)

- Visiting my sister and her family in Boston, whom I hadn't seen since July! My niece and nephew had grown so much in the months we were apart!

- Spending time in the 'burbs with my in-laws before they move in less than a month (I'm kinda in denial about that). Who's gonna hike the Lemon Squeeze with us now??? And what about boating on summer weekends? Blech.

- Hanging out with the bestest lady friends ever, who were gracious enough to entertain me while Spencer worked night after night, weekend after weekend. Activities included but were not limited to going out for dinner, me organizing their kitchen, me organizing their closet (not the same friend as the kitchen), and talking til 2 am. (seriously tho, I love organizing. feel free to make me organize your home.)

- Doing city stuff on those rare weekends when Spencer wasn't working and the weather was good, like walking across the park to check out The Beatles exhibit in the Lincoln Center library. (It was pretty cool and free! Our favorite combo.)

- Having friends over. Unsurprisingly, I'm a real weenie about walking in the cold, so I much prefer it when friends come to our apartment. We've had our awesome city friends over for games, sporting events, and pi(e). Side note - I learned that most schools don't celebrate Pi Day! What is this monstrosity?!? Did yours? Did you sing the Pi Day song, a.k.a American Pie with the lyrics changed?

- Lastly, reading. I'm not Janssen or anything, but I knocked out 24 books in the first quarter of 2014, which is more I had in a while. This, of course, was all before Vampire Diaries came into my life and sucked up (get it?!) any reading time I would have had.

Alright, so the beginning of the year wasn't haw-ible. It might have been even been a bit good. But I'm still glad it's done. Here's to spring 2014!

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Acting Like an Adult

2014-03-31T23:14:00.000-04:00

Some days I come home from a long day at work and do really lame things, like chores and errands. While doing these, I like to mentally pat myself on the back and say "Way to be an adult! Way to act like a grown-up!"

I feel like a kid, playing at grown-up. This feeling is reinforced by the marathons of Vampire Diaries, buying a burger for dinner because why not, and singing show tunes while walking about the city. (It's was raining, I had an umbrella, it was inevitable.) However, when hauling clothes to the laundromat, cleaning the toilet, and making my own doctor's appointments after working in an office all day, I realize that maybe, juuuuuust maybe, I am a 26-year-old, with a career almost 5 years strong and an apartment in New York City that I pay for.

I do act like an adult! Occasionally. And those few moments totally justify eating 5 cookies in one night and downing a liter of Diet Coke, right? Right.

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Puerto Ricks 2014

2014-03-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

Spencer and I went for a week-long jaunt in the middle of February to Puerto Rico. It was the first time on that island for both of us, and we fell in love. What's not to love about the beach, historical sites, and the jungle all in one place? Here's some snapshots from our trip, in no particular order or editing (because I'm supa lazy):

View from our balcony:

Old San Juan:

La playa:

It says "Feliz Dia Del Amor" because it was Valentine's Day. obv.

El Yunque

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Itchy

2014-03-17T23:16:00.001-04:00

You think by now that I would be used to this pattern. It's not like I haven't been through this before. Work will be busy, and I'll be contentedly trucking along - days full of spreadsheets and evenings full of YA novels. Maybe I'll be planning for something exciting, say a trip to Puerto Rico. Either way, I'm satisfied with my small, small life in this big, big world.

And then something happens. Usually my workload will diminish (my work is very cyclical, and the middle of a non-quarter end month is our slow time), and I get bored. Sometimes, I'll read an article or book about a person that achieved greatness. Or maybe I just spend too much time thinking. Either way, I start to get itchy.

I want to do something new. I want to move. I want change. I want to make a big splash. I feel like singing Belle's in The Beauty and the Beast: "there must be more to this provincial life!" Why am I not working my way towards being COO of a major tech company or towards working with the Secretary of State? Why don't I have my PhD? Why don't I have my master's? Why don't I have a job I'm passionate about? Is this really all there is to life? Work, chores, a smidge of fun, repeat? I want to do something grand. But what?

I know - it's all smoke and mirrors. I can't compare myself to others, and I can't build my happiness on external aspects of life. Sigh...don't mind me. This is just a combination of the never-ending winter blues and Monday ennui. In fact, I hate change. It's a running joke in my family how much I hate change (I was the only one to cry about my family moving Alabama to Massachusetts, even though I wasn't even living at home). Right now, it's easy for me to desire change in my comfortable life.

But really, is there more than this provincial life?

P.S. Spencer says that it's ridiculous to say my life is provincial when I live in New York City. I say, I have ennui. I can call my life whatever I want.

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The Trip That Almost Didn't Happen

2014-02-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is the story of how Spencer and I gave a giant middle finger to winter storm Pax.

Oh, you haven't heard of Pax? It's just another one of those devastating winter storms that's been walloping the East Coast, from Georgia to Maine, all this week. Now, I knew that New York was going to get a ton of snow on Thursday, and silly me thought that meant that Spencer and I, whose flights to Puerto Rico were on Wednesday at 6 am with a layover in Atlanta, would be getting out of the Northeast in the nick of time. Nary a moment did I worry about flights being disrupted by the weather. SILLY ME.

On Tuesday morning, around 11 am or so, Spencer texts me to ask if the weather in Atlanta was affecting our flights. What? No! I reply. SILLY ME. About an hour later I get an email from Southwest - our flights were cancelled. Cue freak out.

I then spent about the next hour and half on Southwest's website and/or on the phone with a Southwest rep, tryyyyying to get a flight out to Puerto Rico. According to the rep, who was as nice as can be, she said that if we could get to Florida, we'd be golden. Unsurprisingly, that was much easier said than done. As I was on the phone with this woman, flights to Florida were filling up, and nothing on Wednesday was available. Our only option was to fly out Thursday morning from Long Island, meaning we'd get to Puerto Rico one day late. Ok, not the worst thing ever, but what if those flights were cancelled as well? The thought of not making it to my warm winter getaway basically shut down my brain.

Then Spencer had the brilliant idea of trying to leave on Tuesday night. Genius! Beat the storm! But oh wait - Southwest's final flight to leave NYC on Tuesday left at 3 pm, which I found out at 1:40 pm. Despondent, I changed our flights to the Thursday morning flights, even though I was positive those flights would also be cancelled.

Seconds later, Spencer tells me that his coworker (bless him) found $200 flights on American Airlines from NYC to San Juan, direct, leaving at 7 pm Tuesday night. I should probably interject and say that our flights on Southwest were booked 100% with points, so Spencer, understandably so, was not keen on spending actual money on flights when we could get free ones on Thursday. But I wouldn't listen. I could not not make it Puerto Rico. I could not take the chance. Barely realizing what I was doing, I booked flights that were leaving in 5 hours.

Here's where the all the small miracles/tender mercies/blessings came into this story. First, I could book a flight that left in 5 hours because Spencer and I had already packed for this trip on Monday night. Let me make something clear - I have NEVER in my LIFE packed for a trip any earlier than the night before. I'm ALWAYS a last-minute packer. And yet, on Monday night, Spencer and I got home from checking out an apartment (just for fun) and decided that we might as well get our bags ready.

Second, there was the tiny issue of us arriving to San Juan a day earlier than planned. Which meant no hotel booked. But I didn't care - I've spent the night in the airport before, and I was willing to do it again, as long as I got to San Juan. Then another of Spencer's coworkers, who is quite honestly one of the nicest people I've ever met, booked us a night at a hotel. Her husband travels for work weekly from Monday through Thursday, so they have quite a few hotel points. Still, it was so incredibly generous of her to do that for us! (and don't worry, we do plan on paying them back in anyway that they will allow. sheesh! we aren't total moochers!)

Third, I now had to cancel our Southwest flights booked for Thursday. When I was talking to the rep earlier in the day, she had said that the allowance to chance/cancel the flight was a one-time thing, so I wasn't sure that we'd get a refund on our points. At this point, I didn't care, though, and was willing to eat the points in order to ensure that I got out of New York. Anyway, once more I call Southwest, and miracle of miracles, we got a full refund on our points! No issues at all! Getting all of those points back helped Spencer swallow the cost of our new flights.

Fourth, I too work with absolutely lovely people. I told my boss what had happened, and as soon as I had booked our new flights, she urged me to go home. Don't cut it close, she said. My cubiclemate said the same thing, which was very generous considering she'd have to pick up some of my slack. I didn't bounce then, but stayed as long as I could. And when I did leave early, again my coworker and boss were very generous and understanding.

So Spencer and I got home, picked up our already-packed luggage, and hauled it out to the airport, which was surprisingly empty. We got through security and on our plane without a hitch. We landed in San Juan without a delay. We stepped out of the airport and into the warm, slightly humid air, and I about cried tears of joy.

Obligatory airport selfie. Still anxious about getting to Puerto Rico.

Wednesday's morning view

Wednesday morning found us in Old San Juan, and we used the unexpected time to explore the city, delight in the beautiful architecture, and revel in the heat. When we were back in the hotel, packing up to go out to our accommodations in Isla Verde, I couldn't help myself - I had to check the flight status for those Thursday morning flights. And whadda you know? They were CANCELLED.

Boo. Yah.

Roasting and loving it

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Friday Favorites

2014-02-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

It has been TOO long since I've done a Friday Favorites! Blame it on my busy season and not wanting to peruse the internet when I got home, blah, blah, blah, no one cares. Anyway, from the serious to the silly, here's some links you should be a clicking on:

Vest: Old Navy, Sweater: Joe Fresh, Skirt c/o Kosher Casual, Booties: H&M

- I love this jersey skirt from Kosher Casual. It's incredibly comfortable but is long enough and loose enough that I don't have to worry about showing off too much of my...uh...assets (that is of course assuming I have any).

- Talking about needing stretchy skirts, I think I put on a few pounds just reading this Buzzfeed round-up of 31 delicious grilled cheese recipes. Totally worth it and will be even more worth it when I actually make these. Who wants to go through the list with me? Grilled-cheese lovers unite!

- My other food link is Becca's recipe for chocolate-dipped mandarin slices. I made these with coconut oil instead of shortening and dipped clementine and orange slices because that was what I had on hand. They were deeee-licious! And not all that bad for you too! Vin-vin.

- You may or may not know, but New York's winter hasn't been the best this year. I know - I'm so dramatic! Or am I? Unsurprisingly, I haven't been alone in my never-ending complaining, and Spencer sent me two hilarious articles about how sick everyone is of this weather (article 1 and article 2). Beware: these are on Jezebel and Gawker, so yeah, there is foul language.

- Ok, this isn't a link, but can we talk about how I haven't had serious bangs since I was like 6, and I am totally loving them? No, I don't style them like this, but I look like Cousin It in this picture, which makes me laugh and laugh.

- On the more serious side, Kayla wrote a great post as to why feminism is still needed on the most basic of levels. And she doesn't even address more first-world gender issues like inequality in the workplace. (Just in case it's not crystal, I'm a feminist too. So is Spencer.)

- Lastest and most seriousest, Buzzfeed's quiz on which Mean Girls character you are. Me? Well, I'm almost too gay to function :) #Damienismyhomeboy

Now go ye, and click away!

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The Great Lie of Our Generation

2014-02-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

"Follow your passion!" they say. "Do what you love!" they say. "And don't settle for anything else!"

Yeah...that's a lie.

If you are lucky enough to turn your interests into a viable career, then good for you! No, really, I'm so incredibly jealous. But here's the thing - people who can do that are most definitely in the minority, and telling everyone to try and do that only gives the rest of us complexes. This isn't to say that only a few people will like their job and everyone else will hate their job. Not at all! And that's why the whole "follow your passion" thing is such crap! You can like your job, be fulfilled by your job, and make money from your job without said job being something that you are in love with.

Let's get personal with this. My passions in life are reading, exploring, eating, and laughing. I'm incredibly fascinated by World War II, gender inequality, baking, and Buzzfeed. Also, I feel very strongly about traveling the world and going to the beach. Oh! and I love makeup! So, with all those in mind, my ideal job would be...well...I have no idea. My interests are all over the place, and honestly, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. When people talk about having a wonderful dream job, I get stressed out. I didn't choose accounting! It just happened! Is this really what I should be doing??? Reading Forbes's 30 under 30 lists seriously depresses me. I freak out because I don't know my great passion, I don't have it all planned out, and ohmigosh, have I settled?!?!

On the flip side, and this is incredibly important, I like my job. I get satisfaction out of completing my work, I get competitive pay, I have good benefits, I have a good work-life balance, I use my brain, and best of all, I look forward to spending time with my coworkers. And therein lies the crux of my beef with the whole "follow your passion" thing - you can learn to like something. You can cultivate interests. There are so many factors into making a good job "good" and just a small portion is what you actually do.

I'm not the only one who gets irritated at this great lie. Cal Newport has spoken extensively about this subject, and he's come to a similar conclusion (which is based on actual research and not his own frantic thoughts) that first we choose a job and then we learn to be passionate about it. I'm also not the only one who gets sad when hearing that stupid cliche. Wait But Why wrote a great post on The Huffington Post as to why so many Gen Y'ers aren't happy. When I hear about people loving their amazing jobs, I'm Lucy! My expectations are too high! But when I get over finding my dream job, I realize that I have a great gig, and I'm happy again. As if we aren't under enough pressure in life as it is, we are expected to find that one amazing job that will gives us a life full of rainbows and unicorns! What's wrong with one that merely gives us satisfaction and a livable wage?

I've discussed this so many times lately, with Spencer, with friends, with co-workers, and I've decided, I'm not buying it anymore. I'll work hard at a good job and learn to love it. Maybe I'll switch careers, maybe I won't. Again, a few people will actually know their perfect job and be able to make a living off of it. The rest of us will have to do all of the other jobs (ie. accounting, legal work, etc.). I'm not saying to work at a job you hate or to do any random old thing. Similar to how many facets can make a job good, many aspects can also make a job unbearable. What I'm saying is that there is more than one job that will make you happy, and there are probably more of them than you realize.

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Escaping the Polar Vortex

2014-02-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

Every year, right around this time, I break down and have a crying fit about how I hate the cold and want to move to either Southern California or Florida. Considering that this has easily been the coldest winter of my life, you think I'd have had like a minimum of 5 breakdowns by now. However, for the first time during an New York winter, Spencer and I are actually going somewhere warm! In nine, hopefully-short days, we will be flying down to sunny Puerto Rico! We'll be spending a week in Isla Verde, which is right outside of San Juan, living on the beach, hanging out in the city, and enjoying 80 degree weather.

source

Planning for Puerto Rico has been the only thing that got me through January. I read a tour guide book or two, scoured Trip Advisor, bought some new clothes, aaaand possibly packed weeks ago. Spencer walked into the bedroom while I was packing and cracked up. I just wanted to make sure it all fit on my carry-on, jeez!

Anyway, I have my bathing suits, my sundress, and in nine days, this pasty skin of mine will get nice and burned. Holla!

P.S. Any recommendations for good beach reading?

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Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

2014-01-28T18:12:00.000-05:00

I usually lump my book reviews by quarter (Q4 2013 is coming soon! Please, try to contain your excitement.), but sometimes a book needs a full post, and Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg is one of those. I know, I know - I'm super late to the "Lean In" game. I had read all the articles and other recaps of this book (like RA's and Janssen's), but it wasn't until I was on a big non-fiction audio book spree that I finally read (or listened to) this book. Bless audio books, they are the only way I can read non-fiction. Have I said that before? Probably.

So, Lean In. I didn't love it; there's a lot I disagree with or that just plain annoyed me. But! there's a lot of good in this book. I think the message is incredibly important, and I applaud Sheryl Sandberg for her efforts in defending women's rights, specifically in the work place. She's taken a difficult road and has already gotten flack for it. As a woman in the workforce, I have witnessed gender discrimination first-hand. Anyone who tries to say that it doesn't exist anymore is straight-up lying. True, thanks to the tireless efforts of countless women, gender inequality today is nothing like the gender inequality from yesteryear; however, it is still gender inequality. Snaps to Sheryl for addressing this issue.

There are two things that I particularly agree with in Lean In - 1. that if more women are in power, then our world as a whole will have more gender equality as women will be in the position to affect the needed change, and 2. the American corporate environment discriminates against parents of both genders and that needs to be stopped. I feel very strongly about the last one, and it's something Spencer and I have discussed many times.

I'm so grateful to be married to a man who doesn't ascribe to society's gender roles. If the dishes need to be done, Spencer does them. He regularly does grocery shopping, cleans the bathroom, vacuums, and is willing to cook (due to our varying skills in the kitchen, I'm usually cooking. But he's willing!). This is all assuming he's not working his brains out; our division of housework is directly correlated to whomever is busier at work. Anyway, I can't tell you how many times he's expressed support in regards to me going grad school, having a career, and if I have the more demanding and lucrative job, to him staying home with our future children. I love all of this about him so much, and yet, people look down on stay-at-home dads. Guys who do housework are mocked. And while women get crappy maternity leave (only 12 weeks unpaid? seriously?), at least we get it! Men are lucky to get one week! Sheryl Sandberg asks how can we expect men to bond with their children and feel the desire to help out with their care if they never get the chance to be with them, and she's so right. Men should be encouraged to pick up their children from daycare, not laughed at. Men who stay home with the kids should not have their manhood be questioned. And this is just making the workplace friendlier to fathers; there's still MANY issues with the workplace and mothers, flexible schedules/face time, maternity leave, and job advancement to name a few. I have so many thoughts about the corporate environment and parenthood, and like Sheryl Sandberg says, I do believe a lot of this would be at least somewhat fixed if we had more women in power.

I feel slightly hypocritical touting the benefits of having more women in power when, honestly, I have no desire for power myself. Oh, sure, I'm super bossy and love to tell Spencer what to do, but when it comes to work? Getting to an executive-level position requires so much of your life, and I hold my work-life balance very dear. I love going into the office (most days), and I love working on my silly little spreadsheets (most days). I love getting my paycheck ALL days. :) However, I think I love it so much because I can also leave at a decent hour, go home, and do whatever the heck I want without worrying about work until the next morning. I can't have that attitude if I want to be an executive, so...I don't want to be an executive. Children will only make this so much harder. In fact, Sheryl Sandberg writes that women whose husbands work more than 50 hours a week are much less likely to go back to work after having children. I WISH Spencer only worked 50 hours a week; instead, it's frequently more like 70 or 80. I can see why these women don't go back; I'll have so little help with childcare, not because Spencer won't want to, because he won't be able to leave the office. This mean I'll need a flexible, less-demanding job, which means pulling back a bit. And here's my main beef with Ms. Sandberg.

Sheryl Sandberg tells the story of a woman who was offered a fantastic, high-up job at a big bank. This woman, because she had a young daughter, decided not to take the job and took a slower-paced job instead. Ten years later, this woman achieved the job that she was offered so many years ago, and the woman stated regret for delaying her career by a decade. Sheryl uses this an example as to why women should "lean in" and not put their careers on the slow track. *record scratch* say what?!?! I think it's wonderful that this woman slowed down her career to spend more time with her daughter! If you want to stay on the fast track, Sheryl, by all means, go ahead. I don't think that makes you any less of a mother. But don't look down on a woman who decides to prioritize her time and job a bit differently. That's girl-on-girl crime! I think Sheryl Sandberg's editors realized that her opinions could offend many people because she spends so much of the book, including following this story, back-tracking her opinions. Sheryl's all "get power! don't hurt your career!" and then quickly says "but if you want to stay home, that's cool too." mmm-hmmm! I see what you did there. Frankly, I'd prefer it if women AND men took slower tracks at work in order to spend time with their kids, which loops back up to how we need to change the corporate environment so people can spend time with their families and still get ahead at work.

My other issue with Sheryl Sandberg is that I found her annoying. As mentioned, she backtracked all the time and, even worse, tried to ascribed her own neuroses and insecurities to all of womanhood. She tells a few stories about how she was unwilling to let others know of her accomplishments and how girls do that and hold themselves back. I'm like, oh, hold up! I will loudly and proudly tell others of my merits, don't you worry! I kinda rolled my eyes whenever Sheryl Sandberg told her own stories, which are fascinating and amazing but annoying when coupled with her downplaying. Maybe it was an attempt to seem humble and not offend others, but girl! Preach it! You are the COO of Facebook! You have an incredible career, so stop trying to make it seem ordinary!

Even with my issues with Lean In, I think everyone should read it. Since doing so, I put much of her advice into practice, and it has benefited me. Just because I'm not gunning for a C-level job doesn't mean I don't want to do the best I can. RA writes at length about leaning into your job, even if you want to stay at a nice, mid-level position, and she got what I want to do, spot-on. If nothing else, I'm happy to have read the book to know Sheryl Sandberg's mother's story, which is really quite beautiful in all its ordinary ambition.

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2013 - A Year in Review

2014-01-23T12:26:00.000-05:00

Possibly my favorite pic of us from 2013 - never fails to make me laugh

Oh, 2013 - you were good to me. I have to admit, you weren't my favorite of years (2008 and 2012 take the cake), and you served me some not-so-great stuff, but overall, we had a good time.

Here's some of the highlights from 2013:

Biking all about the city, going to Montreal, the best birthday I've had in a long time (also, still loving 26 so far!), best friends coming to visit me, Spencer's sister's wedding, a family reunion on each side (Outer Banks 1/2 and Heber 1/2/3), going out clubbing into the wee hours of the night for the first (and probably last) time in NYC, going up to the lake or out to the beach on summer weekends, doing not one but two ragnar relays!, running a handful of other races in the city, Easter weekend with my entire family and my sister's baptism, spending a chill Thanksgiving in the city, throwing my first-ever, truly grown-up Christmas party, and going to Maine three times (1/2/3).

Sadly, I didn't accomplish all that I wanted to in 2013. Some of it is slightly silly stuff like running the NYC Marathon (but I'll do it in 2015!) or going to Europe (unsurprisingly, family reunions took all my vaycay time). Some of it was more serious stuff, which I'm working my way towards being ready to discuss publicly. Not there yet, but soon-ish.

Those trying times aside, 2013 really was a great year, and I have even higher hopes for 2014! Now let's see if I can stop dating every.single.thing. "2012." Whoops.

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Christmas in Maine

2014-01-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

For the first time since before I was married, I actually had a week-long Christmas break in which I did nothing. Other than cook dinner for the week (it was my Christmas gift to my parents as we do handmade Christmases), I didn't do much else other than play games, frolic in the snow, and watch movies. It was so perfectly therapeutic, and I fell in love with Maine all over again. Now for a photo dump!

The week started with freezing rain, which was one of the craziest things I've ever seen.

My sisters are the cutest, I know.

Christmas morning!

Showing off our new Christmas pajamas! Handmade by Mommy Dearest!

After presents, we went outside to snow shoe and throw...ice.

Again, I have the cutest siblings.

Other tidbits - Spencer and I went to the most picturesque inn for our 5th anniversary dinner. And thrift stores in tiny towns have darling signs.

We came back to Maine last weekend with some friends, and I gotta say, with family or friends, I absolutely cannot get enough of that place.

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Makeup and Vanity and Other Things I love

2013-12-19T14:43:00.002-05:00

Cardigan: c/o Sammy Dress, Dress: Thrifted, Belt: Joe Fresh, Tights: Target, Wedges: Old Navy

I'm already posting pictures of my silly little outfit, so let's go ahead and make this post as frivolous as possible, alright?

- I just quickly need to mention how I wear that cardigan/sweater basically every.single.day. It's a blanket with sleeves! But looks better than a snuggie, right? Right?!?!

- My obsession with makeup has hit an all-time, embarrassing high. I spent an entire evening watching YouTube tutorials, for pete's sake! I'm especially obsessed with "highlighting and contouring," and the entire internet seems to agree that this is the best HAC tutorial. Skinnify-ing your nose caught my large-nosed attention immediately. But I have to admit, I'm completely torn about all this. Part of me is all, reject society's standards of beauty! We are beautiful as we are! And, whether you think this is the height of vanity or not, I am generally happy with my looks (most of the time). Hopefully you all think you are pretty because you ARE. So there's that side of me, and then the other goes, "ooo! I can skinny my nose and un-fat my cheeks? Awesome!" See? Torn.

- Attending a bunch of holiday parties makes me happy because they are legitimate excuses for lipstick. My current favorite lip color is MAC Diva with Sephora's Always Red lip stain on top. (seen here)

- Speaking of vanity, I had my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever, and then, I got them tinted! (that was after these pictures were taken.) I'm still taken back a bit each time I look in the mirror (what is that on my face?!), but I love them and might keep doing this in the future. Hey! This dark brow trend is difficult on a blondie like me, ok?

- For my last bit of this completely vain and frivolous post, that sparkly belt? Game changer.

I'll end this now before we lose any more brain cells. Vapidity, thy name be Erica.

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Erica and Hediyeh's Christmas Extravaganza Slash Spencer's Birthday Party

2013-12-17T15:15:00.000-05:00

There are many markers into adulthood - starting a career, getting married, living on your own, and most importantly, throwing a large, non-potluck party. As of this past weekend, I think I can finally call myself an grown woman since my friend Hediyeh and I threw a Christmas extravaganza and did all the prep ourselves (well, our husbands helped a bit. and just kidding about being an adult - I'll never grow up!).

Dear Hediyeh - my favorite part might have been grocery shopping together. Let's do that more often.

Because I always forget important details, we don't have any pictures of people at the party, but look! pictures of the food!

Do you want to hear the menu? Of course you do! There was holiday salad (recipe here), cheese and crackers, grapes, carrot sticks, apple salsa, cranberry salsa, spiced dip, spinach artichoke dip, chips, rice krispie treats, ginger snap cookies, peppermint sugar cookies, white-chocolate cranberry cookies, butter toffee popcorn, and cocktail franks from Costco. Guess what was the first thing to be eaten up? Cocktail franks! Duh!

People very graciously asked what what they could bring to the party, and I got such a sense of satisfaction in telling them "nothing!" On the other hand, my next get-together will most definitely be potluck.

In addition, we had little bowls of candy among the tea lights, Christmas decorations, and roaring (YouTube) fire.

Umm, can we talk about how Pete and Hediyeh have a view of the Chrysler Building from their apartment? I...do not have that view.

See those cone-shaped lights to the left of the tree? Yup, that's the Chrysler Building.

These two are the best for letting us invade their home.

Finally, let's not forget the real reason for the season - Spencer's birthday! Yes, the holiday party was on his birthday because he's a gem and didn't care. OR you could say we threw him a really fantastic birthday party. Let's go with the latter. Even though he asked me not to, I made him a cake (apple-spice), and everyone sang Happy Birthday to the best lawyer who makes me laugh constantly and puts up with my (many) shenanigans with insane amounts of patience. Don't worry, love - next year, Christmas will have to make way for YOU (it will be the big 3-0!).

Yeah, yeah, yeah - the couple that wears plaid together, blah, blah and all that.

Other Christmas-y things to happen lately were attending a local church's carol sing-along/tree lighting. It's right around the block from us, and at the end, all of the trees up and down Park Avenue get lit! So fun!

We also attended a white elephant exchange in which this happened:

This might be one of my favorite pics of 2013.

And then I ran a race in the snow and had a stupid grin on my face the whole time:

We got a ton of snow on Saturday, and it's been snowing most of today. what.the.what.

I love this month.

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